Podcast Summary: "Silencing My Shame with Shanti Das"

Podcast: Keep it Positive, Sweetie
Host: Crystal Renee Hayslett
Guest: Shanti Das (Mental Health Advocate, CEO & Founder of Silence the Shame)
Date: January 16, 2024

Overview

In this heartfelt and powerful episode, host Crystal Renee Hayslett welcomes music industry veteran and mental health advocate Shanti Das. Together, they dive into Shanti’s extraordinary journey from her high-powered music executive days to her life-changing pivot into mental health advocacy following personal trauma and loss. The conversation focuses on breaking the silence and stigma around mental health, particularly in the Black community, and offers honest reflections on overcoming shame, the importance of faith, and embracing healing.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Shanti’s Music Industry Legacy (00:39–08:00)

• Early Career:

  • Shanti recounts her Atlanta roots and ascent through major record labels (Capitol, LaFace, Sony, Universal Motown).
  • Mentions working with OutKast, Usher, Toni Braxton, and Prince.
  • Notable moment: She was present at the 1995 Source Awards for Andre 3000's iconic “the South got something to say” speech.

• Quote:

  “First record I ever worked was Outkast ‘Players Ball.’”
  – Shanti, 04:16

• Working With OutKast:

  • Describes OutKast’s innate creativity, noting they always had their own style and vision, challenging the industry’s norms.
  • “They knew who they were, and we just kind of came in to enhance their brilliance and their greatness.” (05:10)

• On Usher's Brilliance:

  “Even then we knew that Usher had the it factor. He’s one of the hardest working artists I’ve ever met.”
  (07:28)

The Origin of "Silence the Shame" (08:16–17:28)

• Personal Trauma:

  • Shanti shares that her father died by suicide when she was seven months old. For years, her family never openly discussed it.
  • Her sister broke the stigma by starting therapy in college—a rarity in the '80s/'90s Black community.
  • Shanti’s own struggles with depression culminate in a crisis moment in 2015, leading her to almost take her own life.

• Turning Point:

  “I almost took my own life in September of 2015… I just needed that pain to go away. I didn’t want to die, I just wanted the pain to stop.”
  (15:54)

  • Intervention from a friend and timely support from her sister and pastor led her to seek professional help and begin antidepressants.

• Birth of #SilenceTheShame:

  • What started as a hashtag became a movement and nonprofit dedicated to mental health education and support.
  • “I was talking about these issues in 2015, before a lot of people in our community were comfortable with opening up.” (17:29)

Healing and Grief (17:56–22:09)

• Ongoing Healing:

  • Shanti recounts losing her sister (2019) and mother (2022), processing profound grief through faith, therapy, and supporting others.
  • Emphasizes the cyclical and non-linear nature of healing.

• Faith and Community:

  “I live my life one day at a time now, Crystal. Life, be life. And as we say…it’s just trying to be more present for my friends, for my family members…”
  (21:10)

The Power and Purpose of Service (31:09–33:37)

• Roots of Service:
  • Inspired by her mother’s example of community giving.
  • Organized burials in Detroit for unclaimed bodies, signifying her pivot from music to serving and uplifting others.
  • “It was the first time, I think, I listened to God saying, like, I have bigger plans for you.” (32:38)

Mental Health & the Black Community, Especially Black Men (33:47–42:11)

• Therapy and the Pandemic:

  • The pandemic forced everyone to face mental health head-on, with isolation amplifying underlying issues.
  • Shanti leveraged digital platforms to host open discussions with celebrities about mental wellness.

• Men and Vulnerability:

  • Increasing numbers of Black male artists (e.g., Jeezy, Jay Z, Kendrick Lamar) openly advocate for therapy.
  • “Black men, I think, have been taught for years…to suppress their feelings. That they're weak if they show signs of vulnerability…that can be the farthest thing from the truth.” (39:33)
  • Highlights programs like Dr. King J. Barnett & Lamon Rucker’s “Just Heal, Bro” tour.

Breaking the Cycle of Shame (24:24–30:59)

• Stigma and Shame:

  • Shanti explains how shame prevented her from seeking help, even among friends and peers.
  • “There is so much shame and stigma around mental health and mental illness in this country that it can be smothering at times.” (24:39)

• Message to Listeners:

  “I want people to know that hope is alive and that healing is always possible. And you get yourself some good friends around you, some good accountability partners, some faith friends and spiritual leaders, and just mind your own business and focus one day at a time.”
  (29:55)

Transparency and Self-Care Tools (22:55–24:21; 23:20–24:00)

• Daily Routines:
  • Shanti underscores the practice of starting her day with gratitude and prayer, limiting negative social media exposure, and emphasizing self-encouragement.
  • “I try to take again my mornings to be grateful and to be at one with God and to find my encouragement there first before I go out into the world.” (23:51)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Legacy:

  “I just want people to always know that I care… I want people to see me, and I want people to know I see them, and I’m there to support them.”
  (42:40)

• On Mindfulness and Enoughness:

  “As long as we know that we are enough in this crazy, crazy world, we’ll be okay.”
  (45:30)

• On Seeking Help:

  “We were born connected to our mother’s umbilical cord. So humans were meant to be connected… Allow your tribe to love on you… Those are your accountability partners and people that are going to help you through those really tough times in your life.”
  (49:36)

Listener Letter: Positive Outcomes Segment (45:53–52:20)

• A letter from a 26-year-old listener coping with depression, anxiety, faith struggles, and a history of sexual abuse.
• Advice from Crystal & Shanti:
  • Seek specialized therapy, especially with someone experienced in sexual trauma.
  • Build a team: therapist, spiritual advisor, supportive friends (“starting five” accountability partners).
  • Celebrate progress (like getting her own apartment), and know healing is a journey.
  • Faith and spiritual community can be a source of support but should be complemented by professional help.

What They’re Growing & Going Through (52:41–56:40)

• Crystal:

  • Emphasizes her ongoing evolution through therapy and personal insight, learning to process childhood trauma and triggers.

• Shanti:

  • Still grieving her sister and mother but working to draw strength from their memory, therapy, and honoring their legacy.

Episode Conclusion & Affirmations

• Affirmation Exercise:

  “I am love. I am peace. I am joy. I am everything I need to be. I am enough.”
  (45:16-45:30)

• Key Takeaways:

  • Heal openly and without shame.
  • Let faith and service be your anchor.
  • You are not alone and you are enough.

Important Timestamps

• 00:39–08:00: Shanti’s music career, working with legendary artists.
• 08:16–17:28: Her father’s suicide and her own mental health struggles.
• 14:48: Loss of her best friend to suicide and personal crisis.
• 17:28: Birth of Silence the Shame movement.
• 21:10: Grieving her sister and mother; role of faith.
• 31:09: Shifting to a life of service and nonprofit work.
• 33:47–42:11: Black community, therapy, men’s vulnerability, pandemic’s impact.
• 24:24–30:59: Experiencing and overcoming shame and stigma.
• 45:53: Listener letter on overcoming trauma and finding support.
• 52:41: “What I’m going/growing through” segment.
• 45:16, 45:26: Affirmation mantra.

Final Messages

• Shanti:

  • Visit silencetheshame.com for mental health resources.
  • Follow @shantidas404 and keep an eye out for the Silence the Shame app.
  • “It’s okay not to be okay.”

• Crystal:

  • “When you’re real with yourself, you understand where you need help… Keep it real, sweetie!” (56:40–57:01)

• Closing Affirmation:

  • “We are enough.” (60:14)

Summary

This intimate conversation is a beacon for anyone struggling with mental health, loss, or self-doubt. Shanti Das’s vulnerability and advocacy offer hope, reassuring listeners that healing is possible, faith and therapy can coexist, and that no one has to walk the path alone. The episode stands as both a testimonial and a call to action for self-love, transparency, and collective support—reminding us, always, to keep it positive, sweetie.