← Keep it Positive, Sweetie
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- [00:00]
A
Keep It Positive Sweetie is available on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just search Keep It Positive Sweetie. That's sweetie with an ie to listen. Hello, I'm Krista Renee Hazlett, and welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive Sweetie. If you can't tell, we are not in Atlanta. We are in Los Angeles, guys. And we are at this beautiful store called 13 Loon, located right here in Larchmont, founded by Nikao Graco, where 90% of the products sold here are bipoc founded. Thank you so much, 13loon, for letting us take over this beautiful space. Stephanie Ek Okafor is a dynamic and passionate leader, paving new grounds for how faith is engaged in today's culture. She. She is a notable author, executive pastor of the potter's house at 1 LA, and a talk show host who aims to deliver a message of audacious faith, renewed hope, and God's unconditional love. Her profound teachings are both impactful and transformative, altering the lives of many on a global scale. Ladies and gentlemen, Stephanie Ek Okafor. Stephanie, thank you so much for coming.
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B
Yes, I'm glad to be here.
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A
Yes. I'm happy to be in la, and I'm just excited to be catching up with so many amazing people. So when they said that we had you as a guest, I was super excited.
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B
No, this is great.
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A
Yes. We are talking about the power of your dreams. Will you just tell us a little bit about yourself?
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B
Yes. So I was. I'm Stephanie. I was raised in Nigeria. Born and raised in Nigeria. I moved out here when I was in, like, I think I was about 15. 20. 16. No, 16. For college.
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A
Okay. Where'd you go to college? Was it here?
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B
Yeah, I went to college. Oh, here.
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A
Okay, cool.
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B
And it was just like, from that moment, it was just one thing, that's the next. And God was just kind of like, orchestrating my steps. And so. Yeah. And now I'm a pastor.
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A
Yes. Yes. At one church. When I travel here, that's the church I go to. So I love one church. Yeah. That's amazing. So what, you have a book coming out? Yes, it is entitled. Well, we have it here, but it is entitled the Power of youf A Guide to Hearing and Understanding How God Speaks While youe Sleep. And that comes out August 20th. Super excited. This is your first book?
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B
It's my first published book publisher.
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A
Okay, so tell us about this, like.
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B
The whole process, the process of this book. Initially, I was working on a book called Judas A Love Story, which would sound crazy because everybody thinks of Judas as a betrayer. And there was this revelation God had given me about the love which Jesus embodied when you look at his relationship with Judas. And so I was working on that, and then the Lord just interrupted the whole thing. And he's like, it's not yet time for that book, but I want you to work on the book about dreams. And dreams have been a constant for me ever since I encountered God. So I was nine when I first encountered the Lord. And I was going through. At that time in my life, I was very. I had a lot of anger issues. I was in a very dark place. And I had this supernatural encounter with an angel, and I thought the angel was God. And so afterwards, I'm like, I met God. And then he started talking to me. He was like, that's not me, that's an angel. And then the consistent place that I always had encounters and he will speak to me had been dreams. And so when he told me to write the book, it was really. The book really comes against this whole misconception about, first of all, people think, like, I'm not a dreamer. That's not how God speaks to me. But it's literally, everyone dreams. And, you know, the Bible talks about the last days, which we are in, and it talks about how, you know, God will pour out his spirit on all flesh. And then it has this part where it says, and your old man shall dream dreams. And it has nothing to do with age. It just has to do with spiritual maturity.
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A
Wow. So the old means spiritual maturity. Because if you're reading that, you would think it's about.
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B
Everybody dreams. Yeah. And it has to do with the consistency. So it doesn't say, like, the old man would dream, but it's. The old man shall dream dreams. So there is this consistent flow of revelation that God will begin to give people through their dreams. Because there are things that you need to see the visual imagery to really understand the weight of the message. And so it's a place where God is desiring to speak to people, but it's to wake people up to the power of their dreams.
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A
Wow. That is so powerful, Stephanie. Oh, my goodness. Because I dream, but some of my dreams, I'm like, what did that mean? You know? So you were nine years old when an angel came to you. What you said it was a really dark time in your life. What was going on as a child, that this. That you feel like God sent an angel to you?
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B
Yes. So my father was murdered when I was a Baby. And we didn't. We later found out who was behind it, but we knew that family was connected to it, but we didn't know who exactly, but we knew his family was. Was somehow involved in it. And I think growing up, for me, because in Nigeria it's really hard to see single parent homes. So I never had a reference for that. None of my friends had one parent.
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A
Right.
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B
And so I had this anger against God. And my mom loves the Lord and all of that. And I'm like, where were you? You know, she loves you this much and she's looking out for. She's looking to you, she's talking to us about you. And I was just angry. And it was a. From, I think as a kid, it opened up a door where the enemy had a hold on me because I would have. I used to literally meditate on, you know, avenging my father's murder, you know, and I found joy in that. I was just in a very dark space mentally. And so when that happen and the first thing God starts teaching me and talking to me about was love, forgiveness, understanding why people hurt you. And it literally just radically changed my heart.
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A
Wow, that is so beautiful. So God came to you or an angel came to you in this dream? When did.
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B
In real life.
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A
In real life. That's crazy. That is. Oh, like, you were like, awake.
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B
Yeah, I was awake.
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A
Oh, my goodness. So at nine years old. How did you know? Wait, this is so.
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B
It was. It was really crazy. I was. So that day, my mom was looking for. For a document, and it was a document that would help her with some of the things that was going on at that time. And we couldn't find it. We searched everywhere for this document. And I just got irritated again. I'm like, you see God? Where are you? Because if my father was alive and da, da, da, da, da. And I remember, like, I was going around the house and I kept seeing just random photos of my dad. And I'm like, who will put his photo in the key, you know, cabinet? It was just weird places. And so at nighttime, then I go to my room and. And I could feel like this, like, strong presence of a person, but I couldn't see the person, but I knew, like, their presence was just so, I mean, like captivating, but I couldn't. But then again, I'm a child. I've watched scary movies. And so I'm like, like, what is, Should I be worried? Like, what is going on here? So I go to my mom's room because I was a little panicked. So I go to my mom's room, and she's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, oh, no, I just want to, like, sleep on your bed. The moment I get on my mom's bed, she knocks out, like, she's out cold.
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And I'm like, hey, I just got here.
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And she is not responding. And then I feel the same presence immediately in her room. And so I'm a little panicked, and I'm like, okay. So then I, like, cover my face with a blanket, and I'm, like, scared. And so with my eyes closed, I see this being. And his whole presence was made of light. So I see this being sitting down, like, right in the middle of the room. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. So then I, like, take off my. You know, take it off. And I see the same person sitting down with my eyes closed, my eyes open. And then I remember I said this prayer, and I was like, God, I'm like, if this is of you, cause wind to flow through my ankles. And immediately there was this gush of wind that just went through me. And I'm like, okay, if this is the God that my mom talks about, he can't harm me.
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A
Yes.
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B
If this is the same God, I'm like, okay, let me be open to this. So then he stands up, and where he's sitting, there's no seat.
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A
Right? Right.
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B
It was the most random thing. So he stands up, he walks towards my mom. And so I'm thinking, it's God. So I was like, where were you? And da, da, da, da. I have all these questions, and your.
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A
Mom is knocked out.
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B
She's knocked out. And he starts talking in a language I could not. And this. I've had, like, many encounters with angels after that. This was the first and only time that an angel spoke, like, audibly normally. It's like they. It's almost like telepathic. And so he starts talking, but it was a language I couldn't understand. His voice literally sounded like an echo in a thunder. It was crazy. And I'm like, so the one day, the one moment I get to talk to God. You don't know. I don't speak this language. I don't know what you're saying. I said, you supposed to know everything. I don't know this language.
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A
And why can't I just enter into this?
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B
I got even more irritated. I said, just. Just like that.
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A
Like, here you go again.
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When I think back, I'm like, oh, God, forgive me for my ignorance. But then he walks to my mom. Opens her palm, puts, like, this paper in her hand, closes.
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A
It was a document. Please tell me.
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B
So here's the crazy thing. He closes it. Then she wakes up after he goes. Then there's nothing in her hand. And I'm like. So I'm telling her the storm, like, mom, this just happened. And she's like, stephanie, I think you were dreaming. I'm like, no, I'm telling you. So she's like, go back to bed. Look at my arm.
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A
This is crazy.
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B
It was wild. So I'm like, no. Like, this happened. I know this happened. And so in the morning, her pastor calls her. And Nigeria, like, West Africa, is very spiritual. So her pastor calls her in the morning, and he was like, hey, while I was in prayer, the Holy Spirit told me to tell you that there was an angelic visitation in your home last night. Night. What? My mom freaks out. She's like, this is what my daughter was telling me. We randomly find the document. It was just laying somewhere.
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A
Like, if it was naked. She's, like, right there, like, somewhere.
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B
And then it hit me. I'm like, that was what they placed in her hand. Like, they made everything work out. And so I was like, oh, my gosh. I met God.
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A
But now you're like, oh, my goodness. This is like, I told you.
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B
And I'm like, yo, I met God. And right there, I heard the voice of God say, that was not me. And there was just this calmness because now I'm like, okay. Like, this is okay. And it was like, that was not me. Then he was like, that was an angel. And he told me who angels were. And then after that, like, it was. I think that night or the night after, in my dreams, he started. I started having encounters with the Lord Jesus before I even understood him as. I didn't know, like, savior. I just. So then I was like. He talked to me about him as a heavenly father and all these things. So I'm like, oh, I do have a dad. I just don't. So he became my dad. So he really, literally raised me and taught me, and, yeah, everything just changed from there.
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A
That is incredible. So how do you know, Stephanie, when God is speaking to you in your dreams or if it's just a dream, you know?
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B
Yeah. You know, I think when we're kids, it's easier because we don't have the. The cage of experiences, right? The limitation of, like, intelligence. Because when you. The smarter you get, you know, in the natural. It's almost like we pull back spiritually because now we're like questioning everything. But what I do love about the book is really giving people like practical wisdom and tools. And so when we talk about how a dream is from God, you first have to know who he is, his ways, his character, his attributes. We live in a generation right now that people are so hungry to know the voice of God. Like, I want to know how God is speaking to me, but it has to be built on his word. If you don't know the character of God, if you don't know the ways of God, you cannot go from there. That's the foundation. So if you don't have that, anything else that you are trying to attain is open to corruption. The enemy can easily destroy. And so really, when you start understanding the ways of God, the characters of God, the principles of God, the standards of God, and then the dream, the dream is like a seed. The message of the dream is like a seed, and it would be revealed by the fruit it produces for in you. So when God gives you a dream, it doesn't leave you feeling crippled in fear, right? Right. You don't wake up and you're just like anxious about, oh my gosh. Like, for example, someone could have a dream of a car accident. Right? It's not so much about what they saw in the dream that tells you if it's from God or the devil. It's more so the tone in the dream. So dreams have feelings, they have emotions. If in the dream you had this sense of warning, oh, I need to be careful, there's something that is kind of giving you an understanding, like, hey, this can be prevented. Or this is something that is warning me about this particular event. So there's certain symbols in the dream. So now you have a car accident. Was there a location in that dream? Was there a place that you might be traveling to? And so when you wake up, you don't feel like crippled in fear. You're like, wait, I had a dream about a car accident. God, what are you trying to show me? You know, sometimes it may not even be about a literal car accident. It could be about God trying to give you a warning that, hey, you're in a path right now. The way your life is going is not what I called it to, and in the end it's going to crash. Yeah, right. So when it comes from God, it leaves you with this impression for wanting to know more. It leaves you with a sense of curiosity, it leaves you with a sense of intrigue. It leaves you with this feeling of wanting to continue the conversation. Right? Because It's a message so God is sending you, starting the conversation, and you want to continue it. When it's from the enemy, nothing from the enemy produces anything that is good. Right, Right. So it leaves you in this place where you just feel paralyzed. You don't feel like. You feel hopeless, because what comes from them also comes with their ambience. It comes with their essence. Yes, Right. So the enemy cannot give you a dream, and you feel like, oh, I could do something about that. No. Immediately you. You feel defeated. Right. So when it comes from God, dreams that come from the Lord doesn't always have to be incredible, amazing and fun. Some things could be warnings. Yeah, right.
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A
That's crazy. So I just got here Sunday, Saturday, and I had the craziest, like, series of dreams. And, you know, a lot of times you can't remember. You have a dream. Like, I can't remember what it was. This one, I remembered exactly what it was. And I was leaving an event, and someone followed me home. And I kept saying to myself, make sure you keep checking to make sure they're not trailing you. And they did. But then when I get home, I see this pickup truck at my gate in my neighborhood, and this man is letting people in to rob my neighbor. And as I'm trying to text and say, hey, Jennifer, somebody's about to break in your house, wake up. My fingers aren't working. You know how you try to text and keep hitting the wrong letter? And I couldn't get it? But the girl that followed me, I was like, call 91 1. And I was like, God, did you send her? Because you knew I wouldn't be able to help my neighbors. But it was the. I got. I don't know what it is, but I even talked to Nora. I was like, what is that? Like, what was that? And I'm like, I know at this phase of my life, I've had people that are fans that have showed up until the point where it feels like I'm being stalked, where I'm having to watch my back. I was like, God, is this your way of telling me, like, I need to be more aware of my surroundings? Because when I woke up, it was just like, what is happening? And why did I dream that? Why could I let my neighbor know what was going on?
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B
And you see, even the fact that you're asking, why? The moment you're curious about, wait, what is going on, you know that God is sending you in the message. So even in the dream, right? So you talk about you were leaving an event, someone was following you. Then when you get. You get home, someone is letting you know, opening the door for the people to rob your neighbors. You couldn't send a message someone else is right there. And so that dream has. There's several, like, layers to it. Right. So oftentimes, even when you see a person following you, one of the things that God is also revealing when. And it's not someone that you. Did you see their face?
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A
Yes. It was a girl. Yeah. That I knew she liked me. It was weird, like. And I'm like, girl, I don't get down like that. But it was like, a weird thing. But she was like. And every time I look back, I went through a toll. And there's no tolls in Atlanta. We went through this toll. And I'm like, God, she's still behind me. And by the time I got home, I wasn't alarmed or, like, nervous that she was there. It was just like, why?
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B
You need to go? Yeah, yeah.
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A
But it wasn't like, why are you here? You know, it was just like, you need to go home.
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B
Yeah. So even in that. Right. So there. Sometimes when you see somebody following you, the Lord could be warning you about something that was called, like, a monitoring spirit. Right. When there are people that the enemy puts in your life just to, like, watch and gain information and things that they could use against you. But then in the dream, you see the person, you're not bothered by her, you're just irritated by her. And then in your. In real life, you have. Where people are doing the most.
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Yes, yes.
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Right. So there's one hand of the Lord, like, even when you do see it, like, there. Because there's a part of you that felt helpless.
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A
Yes.
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B
When you couldn't. You're trying to text, but you couldn't. And so there could be a connection there outside of your neighbor. That's a whole nother symbol. But there could be a connection there where. When you're. You're seeing something that is a problem and being helpless is not that you don't know how to help your neighbor. It could be that there are things even within yourself where you are not being confrontational, where you're not. You're just like, you're. You know how sometimes you're really nice and you get passive. I'm very passive. And you just allow things to be. But even in the midst of that, God is still sending someone who is like, hey, yes, now get this message out to somebody else. Right. So there is an internal thing that God is showing you about yourself. Right. Because you're trying to send a message. So you have an intention to do something, but your fingers ain't working.
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A
They were not working, honey.
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B
I was like. So there's there. You're not one with yourself, so your intention and your action is not matching, right?
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A
Yes.
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And it's not that somebody was scaring you or you were feeling threatened. It's just that God is showing you there's intention and there's action, and they're not going hand in hand. So you have intentions to do things, but you're not taking action towards it. Right. So there's one. There's one thing that God is showing you there. The other part is he's so merciful, he will send you help. Now, recognize the help. Right. Because there's stages in your life where this is an area you have to grow in, but recognize the help and also utilize the help. Right. And then. Then in general, be in prayer. You know, pray concerning, like, Lord, anyone, and. Because sometimes it's not even about people that just want to be stalkers. There's a spirit in them. So the beautiful thing is you're not scared. You were not scared in the dream, which also shows you they can't harm you, right?
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A
Yeah, I was not scared. The only thing I was scared about was just letting my neighbor know what was about to happen.
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B
Exactly. They can't harm you. But there's so many layers to that dream of messages that God is getting to you.
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A
Yeah. That's so crazy. Thank you.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Because I actually talked to Dinar about that, and I was like, I don't know what this means. And she was. So I was like, I want to ask that.
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B
And being in prayer as well. Because sometimes even concerning God gives you. There is a. Every individual. Right. Comes into this world with. You know, there's a. There's a domain, there's a territory that God gives you to be a steward over. Yes. It's not just your life, it's not just your family. Sometimes it's where you live in the season you're in. And so even where you presently live, even in your neighborhood, being in prayer concerning your neighbors, concerning the area that Lord, whatever evil is being planned, you know, speaking against it. Right. Because when you start exercising, because there are things that. When God wants to expand your territory, not just influence in regards to. To, like, fame. Right. But influence in regards to authority. When God wants to expand that, he starts by giving you almost like, how do I even put this? He trains you with your current surrounding.
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Yep.
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Right. So when you know how to pray for your, like, immediate territory, where my house is, where I live, my neighbors, when I could pray outside of me, and the Lord starts showing me things connected to people outside of me, then all of a sudden, because it's one thing when you have influence that just comes from the world. Like when people just like you and people, those are things that they can also take from you.
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Yes.
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When God gives it to you, nobody can take it.
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A
Yes.
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And so when God wants to give you authority, he starts by showing you how to be a person of prayer. And it could start small, it could start with your family, it could start with different things. And when you are a good steward over that, then he starts to expand you. So now not only are you having influence in places, but you have authority in those spaces. And so when you start exercising it so outside of what God could be speaking to you personally, because one of the ways God works is in and through. So even when he gives you a message, there's a message that's for you and his message through you. So there's something he's showing you concerning yourself, and there's also something he's showing you concerning what you ought to do concerning others. Right. So I would encourage you to start praying for your environment, pray for your neighbor, even focus on that neighbor, and start praying concerning protection and a covering over them. Because when God sees that, God begins to expand you. And that's when you walk into rooms you may not own, you know what's happening in the room, but your voice will, will control what happens in the room.
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A
Right. I know what you mean.
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B
Because God gives you authority. Yeah.
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A
That's so good, Stephanie. Wow. We gotta talk more.
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B
I'm calling you.
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A
Be like, hey, girl.
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B
So that's all right. That's all right.
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A
But a couple weeks ago, you shared five facts about dreams. And one of them being that a dream can, can come from self, God or Satan. How do you distinguish between the three?
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B
Oh, child. Perfect example. As women, like, when it comes to marriage, I'll use that as a perfect example. So for instance, if there's someone a woman is attracted to, right? Especially unfortunately, Christianity, you know, if there's someone she's attracted to because you're already meditating on that person, you think about the person, you're like, oh, my God, this is someone I would like to marry. And X, Y and Z, you can start, start dreaming about the person, right? Because you're already. It's what your mind is already set on. And so when. And this is how you know that these are dreams that come from you? Because the fruit of it again speaks. So when you have a dream about a person and you're like, man, I think that man is my husband. How does it come from self? You become a stalker.
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A
You start going.
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On their Instagram, you have a fake page, checking their stories. He said.
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A
You start stalking us.
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B
You start stalking, like, what'd you do?
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A
Na, I already know what you did.
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B
You said what you do that I already know that came from you. That came. That was not from God. Because here's the thing, and this, I'm using that as a perfect example. Because God would never give you a dream that will validate an idol. He would never give you a dream that will cause you to worship something. Right. He will never give you a message in general. So if God knows that you are not in a place to handle those words, he will not show it to you.
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A
Baby, that is good.
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B
So when people have a dream and the moment they say, oh, man, they tell me, I had a dream. God showed me. My husband. My first question, what did you do? If they tell me on his social media, I said, girl, that is that. And then you start trying to create ways to hang out. That is not.
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A
That is not.
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B
Or you, or your. You get easily, like, your emotions easily overtake you, right? Where if he starts telling you about some girl and you start crying. But God, you showed me. Nah, ain't got. Ain't in it at all, you know? And because emotions have a voice, emotions can engage with you, they can speak to you, and they're very close to mimicking the voice of God. So you can wake up from that kind of dream and your emotions are telling you, oh, man, God is confirming it. This is your husband. Da, da, da, da, da.
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A
That is not God.
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B
Throw it away. Just throw it away. Throw it away when it's God. Because Jesus is the word. So when he gives you a word, however he gives, gives it to you. Whether it's in a dream, with symbols, when you can interpret the word, it also comes with his nature.
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A
Yes.
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B
So it sows a seed of himself in you. So when the Lord gives you a word about your husband, you're not. You're chill. You're like, okay in your time, you know, you don't you. And that's why we have to be honest with ourselves. We have to be self aware when we don't get manipulative, when we're just like allowing things to be what they are, you know, God placed. There's a Confidence you have?
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A
Yes.
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B
About. Just like, you know, your name, there's a confidence you have that this will be right. Now, when it comes from the enemy, you have to look at the nature of Satan. You know, the Bible says he comes to steal, kill, and destroy. And so if it's gonna. If it's things that, for example, a woman has a dream about, you know, a guy, she finds out he's in a relationship, and she's like, you know what? I'm just gonna wait. And I'm just. Now she's doing all the things that are wrong. She's talking, but on top of that, she feels this, and she's waiting from a place of fear. Like, she's. It's this place of, like, you know what? You start moving in anxiety and fear and panic. Like, you know what? I'm just gonna believe God. But you're praying, you're doing the spiritual things. But what's your motive is fear? What's your motive is anxiety? Because what the enemy is after to steal your time.
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A
Yes.
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B
So you.
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A
You.
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B
You have someone. The guy clearly tells you, I only see us as friends.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And you're like, I'm just going to wait for him. I know God is going to change his mind. I know this. The enemy is talking to you because he wants to steal your time.
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A
My goodness.
- [26:57]
B
He wants to literally steal the. The years of your prime, waiting for a man that's not coming.
- [27:03]
A
Yes, yes.
- [27:04]
B
That even. And to some women, it even goes to the extreme that he could be engaged and you still there, like God, if this is you, I know it's gonna. It's not your. They're not gonna make it to the altar. I've seen this happen time and time, and I'm like, the enemy is stealing your time. So the nature of the enemy. Ste. Steal, kill, destroy. So when it comes, when. When the. When the. Your actions are moved by things that is going to take. Rob you of time, rob you of healthy relationships. Right? When all of a sudden, maybe you talk to a girlfriend of yours that you know is someone who gives you sound wisdom. Yeah. And the person is like, hey, I don't think this is gonna work. I think you should move on. When a voice comes to your mind and says, yeah, you know, she's jealous of you. She doesn't want. She doesn't understand. Understand, you should stop talking to her. And now you start looking at her in a manner that's suspicious. What is he doing? He's trying to cut off lifelines from you. So his nature is in your actions. When you see you, you are acting out of what is the nature and the. The goal of the enemy. It came from him. And here's the tricky part, because it's an idol in your heart.
- [28:15]
A
Yeah.
- [28:16]
B
It's you. Unless you are truly someone who are. You're willing to say, say, God, I really want what you're about for me, then you can. You will be able to recognize the enemy when he comes. Because it's just like, why are so many people deceived today? Because it speaks to what they desire.
- [28:32]
A
Yes. Yes.
- [28:33]
B
Why do people go to psychics and on Saturday, go to church on Sunday? Because they're so hungry for, like, just. Hopefully the psychic will tell me if I'm going to get the job or not. I just need a quick answer. And so you convince yourself that this is going to work for me because it's connected to what you desire. The same reason why a person will go to a church with a false teacher or false prophet, whatever. Why? Because they're speaking to something you want to hear. You want to hear. And so you're like, yes, preach it. He ain't said a word. All he said is that your man is coming. He said, oh, this is my church. And he said, what? Come on now. Right, right. That is so. Yeah.
- [29:14]
A
Yeah. Wow. So when you talk about being able to interpret dreams and then we have fortune teller. You just talked about how people go to the fortune teller on Saturdays and church on Sundays. How do you know? Just for people who may not understand, like, how do you know when it's witchcraft and when it's of God? Because you have prophecy, but then you also have fortune telling. Which sometimes it can be a very blurred line between those two.
- [29:42]
B
I think what people. Even one of the things that people have to grow in understanding is there is a spiritual realm that is real. Just as this physical realm is real. There's a spiritual realm that is so real. And in that realm there is. I remember a lot of how God has really, like, raised me, was through teaching me the supernatural. But there is a realm known as just the realm of knowledge, the realm of information. Everything that has been and everything that is is known. That's why even in the Bible, Satan, when, you know, Satan comes to God and the Lord is like, hey, where have you been? He's like, you know, roaming the earth. And then the Lord says, have you considered my servant Job? He knew who Job was. He knew where Job lived. He knew how many kids Job had. He knew about his wife. He knew Job's entire life. This was because it's information that exists. The difference now you have God who is all knowing. And he's all knowing not just because of the past and the present. He's all knowing because he's also in the future.
- [30:46]
A
Right.
- [30:46]
B
That's what separates him from everything. Everything is in him. Past, present, future. Satan, rather. Now Satan is limited because he knows past, present, and he has a whole, you know, org chart in his company. Right, right. And so they're demons. They're demon. We have the Holy Spirit. They're evil spirits that also work with people. So the fortune teller, they're not always lying. They could tell you your name because it's known, Right? They could tell you your address, it's known. They could tell you what your grandmother wore when she passed because it's known information. Everything that was and is is known. And that's what so now. But the end goal is that they use that to grip you. It's like, oh, your sister is this. But then it goes from there to gain access to your trust for you to open up. Because in the spiritual realm, where there is agreement, there is access. So then if they now tell you, oh, you're going to get married in three years and you're like, oh my gosh, yes. And then you're going to get divorced and then the next one will come. You're in agreement with everything. And what you don't realize is that they're cursing you. They're cursing that marriage. So they're saying, yes, you go, they don't even know when you're going to get married. But they're sending a curse to whatever whenever you get married. Right. And now. And then sometimes even when they say something like, you're going to get married, the enemy knows how to send counterfeits to back up what he's saying. Right? But how do you know the difference? Number one, the Bible says there is no other way than through Jesus. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. And so that's one layer. If the person. And if you're, if you're involved in something that they are not in submission and surrender to Jesus, they're surrendered to another spirit. And just because they have information about you does not mean that it's holy. Right? But then there's another layer because the Bible also warns us of false prophets. So there are many people that could masquerade using the name of Jesus, but they are not of him. That's why Jesus would even say, like, in the last days, there will Be many who will come to me and say, lord, Lord, Lord. And he will say, get away from me. I never knew you. And then he calls them workers of iniquity. And so he's like, this was never about me. You were given over to the enemy a long time ago. Right. And so the other layer is why people have to have a personal relationship with God for themselves. Because one of the things that God uses to, to mark his own, it's not the knowledge that they flow in. It's not they move in power, is that you would know them by their fruits. If their lifestyle does not match the fruits of the Holy Spirit, it's not the Holy Spirit.
- [33:48]
A
Yeah. Okay. Yes.
- [33:50]
B
Wow. No matter if they say Jesus, no matter if they have a church, no matter if they wear a cross, if your life. Because the Holy Spirit. And why, why he, he's so strong on that? Because for someone to take on a position as a pastor or a leader in any capacity, that means you have walked with God in such a way that the Holy Spirit is evident through your life before you can lead people.
- [34:15]
A
Yes.
- [34:16]
B
And so it's not a place where you can make an excuse. No. Then don't be a leader. If you're still, if you're still in a place where that area, God has not worked on it. Sit down.
- [34:26]
A
Yeah.
- [34:27]
B
Don't lead people into your mess. Right. And so when he says you will know them by their fruits, because to recognize them in any capacity of leadership, then there is a walk they have done in a secret place with God that you can see the fragrance. You can smell the fragrance of the Holy Spirit on them. You can notice it in humility and patience in different areas of their lives. So one layer is first of all, are they serving Jesus? But secondly, so you don't get deceived, do they remind you when you're around them, do you feel like you want to get closer to God or them?
- [35:03]
A
Yes. Wow. That's good. That is so good. Wow. Stephanie, you are just amazing. So I want to talk to you about something.
- [35:12]
B
Yes.
- [35:12]
A
I'm 41.
- [35:14]
B
I am.
- [35:15]
A
Well, you know, we feel like, okay, I'm ready for love. We feel like we are. But sometimes God is like know you think you're ready, but you're not ready. And you did a four part series on YouTube too called what is Marriage? So I want to talk about this because you said five roles of a godly husband are a leader, a learner, a loyal partner, a provider and a protector.
- [35:34]
B
Yeah.
- [35:35]
A
So for me, I'm at an Age where I feel like I'm ready for love, I'm ready to share my life with someone. It gets lonely, you know, And I would meet people and I'd be like, oh, like, oh, this is the one.
- [35:48]
B
Instagram like, you see, I said, girl, girl, stop now. That was me.
- [35:55]
A
So I want to know as just from woman to woman, what do you feel like? God will let me know when it's time. Because I've met people. I've met men that are lovers of Jesus. I've met men that were raised in a church but may have kind of fallen astray, but still go every now and then I'll come with you, you know, if that's what you want to do, type of thing. But I know at the age I am now, where I am, my walk, I want someone that can lead me, you know, and I'm not the one always dragging them to God. Or come on, let's read our Bible or let's go to church on Sunday. What do you think about the sermon? How can we apply this to the week? I'm really big on that and just trying to find the right person and knowing that it is from God.
- [36:34]
B
Yeah. You know, one of the things I'll say is definitely like, people say, trust God, trust God. But to give context to it, trust God as the Father who gives away his bride. And what I mean by that is, you know, in the natural. On a wedding day, you have your natural father or whoever could stand in who walks you down the aisle and gives you away to your husband. But that's a husband that is known.
- [36:58]
A
Right.
- [36:59]
B
When he is unknown, the Heavenly Father. If you trust him, if you. First of all, if you position yourself in a place where. Where God. I'm not willing to settle just to have somebody. Yes, right. There is a call you have on my life. There is a call on who the person that you see, there's. There's something you have in mind concerning my marriage. Because in the, in the series, I talk about how marriage is God's idea. It's his first institution. Right. Because there's a purpose even concerning the home. And so when you have a desire to. To, you know, receive what God designed God, I want a man who knows you. I want a man who can lead this home. I'm also willing to be submissive, you know, understanding even what that means and all of that. But it's to say God, whenever you truly believe is the right time, lead me to him.
- [37:54]
A
Yes.
- [37:54]
B
Bring. Present me to him, let him see me and know because what happened with Adam and Eve is still the pattern of God, if we are willing. And so in Adam and Eve, you see where Adam is asleep, you know, the whole thing, he takes out his rib. But it's not just what happens when he's asleep. He wakes up. God did not just put Eve in the garden randomly by a tree to see if Adam is just going to walk by and say, God, I ain't seeing you around here. Right? These parts. He presents Eve. The Bible let you say he brought Eve to Adam.
- [38:35]
A
Yeah.
- [38:35]
B
And then when he looked, he's like, oh, wow, this is bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. The same way you have. Then you fast forward, you have the story with Abraham. When Abraham wanted his son to get married, he tells his servant, he's like, look, go to my hometown and get my son a wife. Right?
- [38:54]
A
Yeah.
- [38:55]
B
The servant is like, you know, Lord, you sure? On all this stuff, when the servant goes, it's about if you involve God, the servant could have just gone. And whichever woman he saw, he's like, okay, let me just see if this woman will work. He says, he's like, lord, if you have truly prospered my way, right? Then literally, like, reveal to me who is going to be the wife. And then he gives and there's a wisdom that comes upon him. And then he talks about. He was like, let it be that the one who is willing to give me water and also offer water to his donkeys be the one. God backed it up. So then, you know, Rachel comes, he sees her and he's like, wow, she's beautiful. He asks for water and she's like, oh, let me also water your donkeys.
- [39:44]
A
He's like, oh, she's the one. She's the one.
- [39:46]
B
But that was not a random. I know. Like, you know, as you know, for in churches you would hear it taught and many beautiful ways like, oh, she was selfless. She was this. Which, that shows that she was selfless. But that also shows you there was a spiritual influence in that moment. There was something that influenced him to even think that. And there was something that made her even aware because God is like, no, this is the one. And so and literally presents her before the servant. He sees her, like, just orchestrates her to come to the well at that time. He orders his steps, everything works out. And I will give you my personal example. Even for me, I remember when I was a pastor and, you know, I was spending a lot of time in the church, right? But because as a pastor, I didn't want to be corrupted in my heart when I'm meeting people, because we're a young church. There's a lot of good looking men there. Right. And so I made a covenant with God. I was like, God, I'm not going to date anybody in the church. And I'm not doing that to protect my heart. I don't want to be praying for somebody and be asking if this is.
- [40:49]
A
My husband on the side at the.
- [40:50]
B
Same time, you know, like, oh, yeah, I would love to have a pastoral counseling meeting with you. You. You want to do that? Coffee over lunch or dinner? Let's really sit and talk over steak. Right?
- [41:04]
A
Right.
- [41:06]
B
It would be a mess.
- [41:08]
A
Yes.
- [41:08]
B
And I remember, like, my mom was just like, where are you gonna, you know, meet somebody? But I was like, God, if you are my father, you will figure it out.
- [41:18]
A
Come on.
- [41:19]
B
You will make it happen. And when you know it's true, you just know. And so how I met my husband, it was a baby shower.
- [41:27]
A
Wow.
- [41:28]
B
And the ba. It was during COVID So the people. Nobody was gonna come because it was Covid. And so I remember she had. The lady had hit me up and she was like, hey, no one is coming. If you could come and even bring a friend, right? And then I brought one of my besties, Brenda. I said, girl, what you doing?
- [41:46]
A
Right?
- [41:47]
B
You come to this baby shower. You want to come to this baby shower or what? And so we both go to the baby shower. And he was the only one that came from the guy side. Oh, my goodness. And I remember the moment he opened his mouth, Brenda looked at me and she was like, oh, that's it. It's a wrap.
- [42:04]
A
Was he.
- [42:05]
B
He just like. It was like his language just. And one of the things that he said. So literally the day before, I was talking with Brenda and we were like, we were talking about. I was just sharing about my frustration in dating. And it was literally this guy who I was talking to, and he told me he was like, I'm intimidated by you. And I'm like, how? I'm a kid. How are you intimidated by me? And so we're just talking about that. So then there was a part because it was a baby shower in the boat. So I'm sitting on this side of the boat and he comes and he says, do men tell you. Do people normally tell you they're intimidated by you? I was like. I said, oh, yes, child. He said, oh, so you've been talking to boys? I said, yeah. I said, how else can I clap a poet? Yes, boys in my mind, I said I could just.
- [43:01]
A
It was.
- [43:01]
B
It was a rap at that moment. It was a rap like, yes, I'm done.
- [43:06]
A
I do.
- [43:07]
B
I'm undone. I love it. Oh, my goodness. But it was just like, who he is was literally like God packaged him for me. That's. I can't. And it was so interesting because I remember years prior, I'll be praying. I'm like, God, when is my husband coming? He didn't even talk to me about that. The Lord literally told me, he said, you're going to be a mother at 32.
- [43:32]
A
Wow.
- [43:32]
B
And I'm like, I'm asking you about my husband, not when I'm going to be a mom. This was in my twenties.
- [43:38]
A
Wow.
- [43:39]
B
So mid twenties. The Lord is saying, I'm going to be a mom. And 32. At 32, I'm like, that's. That's some years, Lord. Like, so then in my mind, I'm like, well, if I'm going to be a mom at 32, I have to be married before. But literally, I became a mom at 32. And I remember when the Lord told me that my mom. I told my mom. I was like, mom, I don't know when I'm going to get married. But this is what God told me, that by 32, I'll be a mom. So that union is so symbolic to the family we're supposed to raise. So God has already gone ahead of me. He's like, I've already taken care of your marriage, and I'm now talking to you about your children. And so when you trust your heavenly father to pray, present you and to open the eyes of the one who is for you.
- [44:23]
A
Yeah.
- [44:23]
B
That he will present you in such a way that you would be seen by the right one.
- [44:26]
A
Yes.
- [44:27]
B
And why that is important is we have to be okay with rejection. Because rejection is literally God saying, I'm not opening the eyes of the wrong people.
- [44:34]
A
Yes.
- [44:35]
B
I'm not going to let the wrong person see you. And so when a person that you like, that it just doesn't work out. That's God shutting the eyes of the wrong ones. That if you're a counterfeit, I am going to shut your eyes. That even though this person is, I mean, a catch of the catch, you're not going to see it. You're going to see the things that you're like, I don't think I can do it. You're going to see that. The fact that, oh, she's a pastor. I'm intimidated by that. Oh, she's doing this I'm intimidated by that. But when it's the right one, God says, I'll open your eyes. They will see you, they will know you and they'll recognize you as, oh, you belong to me, you're mine. Like we belong together. Right? And so I would say trust God, keep your standards biblical. Right? There's, there's cultural standards, but keep, make sure that the things that are non negotiable are the things that reflect the heart of God. The cultural standards, be flexible. You know, he may not be five, seven, I mean six, seven. She, I said, hold up now. I. All, all, all heights matter? Yes, all heights matter. But I'm just saying I'm tall. But. Oh, that just hit me. She said, but he could be five, seven, child. All heights matter. Okay? For them, for somebody, if you are five, two, receive your blessing, receive your pastor, listen, but you, you keep your, my thing biggest is keep your standards biblical. Yeah, those are non negotiable. The cultural things, be really flexible on that. The things that are like defined by culture, you know, how, who he has to be, how tall, what field. Because you're, you're functioning on limited knowledge of yourself. God knows you from an eternal perspective. You know, this version of you, but you don't know the you that God is going to say, hey, you're going to open a studio one day and I need you to be with a businessman.
- [46:35]
A
I hope you just spoke that into me. I've been thinking about that.
- [46:38]
B
Yes. There are things that God sees about you that he knows, the kind of man he's connecting you to not because of your now, but because of the totality of who he's called you to be.
- [46:49]
A
That is so good. Where have you been all my life?
- [46:51]
B
Right here, girl.
- [46:52]
A
I'm trying to tell you. Stephanie, thank you so much.
- [46:54]
B
Thank you.
- [46:55]
A
This has been incredible.
- [46:56]
B
Thank you.
- [47:00]
A
To close out the show, we do what is called positive outcomes. And I'd love for you to hang around so we can give our listeners some advice. Is that okay?
- [47:06]
B
I love it.
- [47:07]
A
All right, so this one says, hi, crystal, I am 44 year old woman and over the years I have said that I did not want to get married. I thought I always wanted to be a mom, but not a wife. I now know that I was saying that out of fear and want to refocus my prayers. Do you think that God understood that it was actually fear and not my true desire? I worried that because I rejected marriage for so long that God will not bless me with it. That's so funny. She Said because I was having a conversation with this guy, a potential, and he's like, do you want to have children? I was like, well, you know, I'm getting older. I don't know if that's in the cards me. So like I'm just, just, I'm okay if I don't. Yeah. He said, no, give me the real, like, what do you really want? He said, don't give me that surface leveled answer. And I think a lot of us as women, we do out of fear because we don't want to get hurt or rejected. We say, well, I just want this, I don't want the full thing. What would be your advice to her?
- [48:01]
B
Yeah. The beauty is that he's God.
- [48:04]
A
Yeah.
- [48:04]
B
And God doesn't just see what we are. He's not just looking at what we are seeing, saying, and he looking at where it's coming from. He sees the fear, he sees the, you know, the uncertainties, he sees the ignorance. He sees the trauma that causes us to come in agreement with these things. And he's so kind, he's so loving, he's so merciful that he's just waiting for you. He's right there. He's like, I'm just waiting for you. Whenever you're ready, I have this for you. Yes, it's available, it's right here. And we have to be patient with ourselves. You know when the Bible talks about God is love. And the first thing when you know, in first Corinthians and it describes love, the first attribute is love is patience. God is extremely patient with us because the truth is even though we're grown, like in our eyes, we're like, we're grown. Right? Right. But when you think of a baby, you know, I have a, I have a 9 month old daughter now. She's gonna be 10 months soon. And when I look at her when she's doing things that are like mistakes.
- [49:11]
A
Yeah.
- [49:12]
B
She doesn't know that. No, I know that. But I recognize she's a baby.
- [49:16]
A
Yeah, she's learning.
- [49:17]
B
You're a baby and you're gonna get older and you're gonna learn and you're gonna know that this is why like when I'm taking you from this and you're crying, you're gonna understand it. When God looks at, at us when we're functioning from pain, ignorance, hurt, he's like, oh, you're a baby.
- [49:31]
A
Yes.
- [49:31]
B
And it's okay, I'm going to hold you. And whenever as you get older and not get as you get older in knowledge because in the natural realm, we get older through time. In the realm that God is in, He's. There's. Time is not a thing. How what, how they look at us from an age perspective is by revelation, by wisdom. When we grow, grow in our knowledge of God, that's. That's what he sees as maturity.
- [49:57]
A
Right.
- [49:58]
B
So when you're functioning from a place of like, God, I don't want this because I was hurt. He said, it's okay, you're a baby and that's all right. And I'm going to send people in your life that would reveal my love. I'm going to send wisdom to you. I'm going to send help to you. Even for some, even in the form of therapy. Yeah, that's God showing you, like, hey, you need to be aware of what is, what is true. Trapped in that.
- [50:19]
A
So true.
- [50:19]
B
Right. And as you heal, he's like, okay, cool, let's do business. I got some kids for you, girl.
- [50:24]
A
Right, right.
- [50:27]
B
He's not holding that against anyone.
- [50:29]
A
I love that. Thank you for that. So we like to ask our guests what I'm going through and what I'm growing through. Is there anything that you're going through or growing through?
- [50:42]
B
Oh, that's a good one. That's a really good one. I think for me, it's really the season of fully embracing. It's so interesting because even though people would not understand me when I say this fully, but for a long time I've been hidden, even though it doesn't look like that, but hidden in the sense of knowing what God has called me to do there. But it was. There was things that he was kind of like nurturing and just protecting. Even though it feels like I've been. Been in a public eye space or whatever, but fully embracing, you know, who God is calling me to be in the now. And knowing that is going to stretch me in so many ways. And I think that working through that, working through, because there's different levels of people pleasing. Right. I think we conquer it on different levels. I don't think we just one and done. Like, I am not a people pleaser. I think there's different stages of life and I have been in. There's a stage where I was. That I didn't really care about what people think. But when you're about to come into a new venture and, you know, come. We've come, you know, show yourself in a new way, there is this sense of like, are people loyal to you because of what they've known? You know, are People connected to you because of what you, you know, the expectations you meet in their lives. Right? But when you start saying some things that they don't like, you know, what's that going to look like? But it's to conquer that on a new level for me. Like, you know what, God, it's me and you and whoever you've connected to me in that season. That's all right.
- [52:21]
A
I love that. I love that. To close, we fill in the blank. Keep it blank, sweetie.
- [52:28]
B
And I'm going to take something that.
- [52:30]
A
You taught me today. Keep your foundation or keep your standards spiritual. Because you said you need to have your spiritual standards, not worldly standards. So I'm gonna say keep your standards spiritual, sweetie.
- [52:43]
B
I love that. I love that.
- [52:46]
A
Thank you. What would you do?
- [52:47]
B
I would say keep it, child. What I want to say.
- [52:54]
A
You can say it.
- [52:55]
B
Because what I'm thinking of right now is I. But that is not. That's what I'm getting after.
- [53:01]
A
There's a Jenny's down the street and we're going like, that's the fan.
- [53:05]
B
But let me be serious. I would say keep it honest.
- [53:09]
A
I love that. I love that. Stephanie, thank you so much.
- [53:12]
B
Thank you.
- [53:13]
A
Thank you, guys. Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of Keep It Positive, Sweetie. If you want to write into our positive outcomes listener letter, you can Write into keepitpositive sweetie gmail.com and at sweetie with an ie. You can follow me on all platforms at lovechristalrenae. And that's L U V. Stephanie, tell the people where they can find you.
- [53:31]
B
You can Instagram, Stephanie. Actually everything Stephanie Ekokafor.
- [53:35]
A
And yeah, awesome. Thank you so much. And guys, make sure you get her new book, the Power of youf A guide to hearing and understanding how God speaks while you sleep, available now. Thank you guys so much for tuning to this episode. In the meantime, in between time, you know what to do. Keep it positive, sweetie. Lord, we thank you for this day. God, we thank you for this conversation, man. God, you already know.
- [54:10]
B
You saw this moment before the beginning of time. And so we just ask that their words and their conversation would align with what it is that you want. God, I pray that people's lives will be transformed, impacted, and changed. God.
- [54:22]
A
No nerves for either. Either of them, God.
- [54:24]
B
Just giving the ability to flow in conversation. God, you need it, you got it. I thank you for every person in this room living their gifts and talents.
- [54:31]
A
God, that it will return to them hundredfold.
- [54:33]
B
And we just bless Crystal for the whole day, God, that you give her supernatural strength.
- [54:37]
A
In Jesus name we pray.
- [54:38]
B
Amen. Amen.