Keep it Positive, Sweetie

Episode: The Power of Your Dreams with Stephanie Ike Okafor

Release Date: August 20, 2024
Host: Crystal Renee Hayslett
Guest: Stephanie Ike Okafor

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and inspiring episode, host Crystal Renee Hayslett sits down with pastor, author, and speaker Stephanie Ike Okafor to discuss “The Power of Your Dreams.” Broadcasting from the vibrant 13 Loon shop in LA, the conversation explores the spiritual aspects of dreams, how God communicates with us during sleep, and practical tools for interpreting dreams. Stephanie shares her remarkable personal journey—from a childhood encounter with the supernatural in Nigeria, through deep pain and healing, to her new book, The Power of Your Dreams: A Guide to Hearing and Understanding How God Speaks While You Sleep.

The episode also dives into topics of faith, forgiveness, romantic relationships, and spiritual discernment—delivered with honesty, humor, and powerful storytelling.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Stephanie's Background & Spiritual Journey

• Growing Up in Nigeria: Stephanie shares that her early years were marked by trauma, notably the murder of her father when she was a baby, and grappling with anger, spiritual questions, and feelings of not fitting in as the child of a single parent.
  Quote: “I had this anger against God. ...I used to literally meditate on avenging my father's murder, you know, and I found joy in that. I was just in a very dark space mentally.” (05:04)
• Early Spiritual Encounters: At age 9, Stephanie had a vivid supernatural experience—seeing an angel in her home, which eventually led to transformative encounters with God, especially through dreams.
  Quote: “His whole presence was made of light…Then I prayed: ‘God, if this is of you, cause wind to flow through my ankles.’ And immediately there was this gush of wind…” (07:15)
• Calling & Ministry: God’s communication through dreams continued, shaping her path and leading her to become an executive pastor, author, and spiritual leader.

The Power & Meaning of Dreams

• Book Inspiration & Misconceptions: Stephanie’s book seeks to dispel the myth that dreams are only for certain “spiritual” people and reveals that dreams are a universal means through which God desires to communicate.
  Quote: “Everyone dreams. ...When the Bible says ‘your old men shall dream dreams’, it’s not about age–it’s about spiritual maturity.” (03:48)
• Dream Interpretation: The message and the emotional tone of a dream often point to its origin—whether from God, the self, or the enemy.
• Practical Wisdom: She stresses knowing God's character and scriptural foundation as vital to discerning the meaning and source of dreams.
  Quote: “If you don't know the character of God…anything else is open to corruption. The enemy can easily destroy.” (11:15)

Personal Experiences With Dreams

• Crystal’s Vivid Dream Analysis: Crystal recounts an unsettling dream, which Stephanie helps unpack—looking not only at external threats but inward at her own tendencies (such as being passive and not taking action).
  Quote: “You have intentions to do things, but you’re not taking action towards it.” (18:14)
• Layers of Interpretation: Stephanie demonstrates how dreams may contain both a message for the dreamer and a message through the dreamer (for others), encouraging prayer and stewardship of one’s spiritual “territory.”

Distinguishing the Source of Dreams

Stephanie describes three sources of dreams:

1. Self: Dreams reflecting personal desires, worries, or obsessions (e.g., obsessing over a crush and dreaming about them).
   • Memorable Moment: Lighthearted imitation of women stalking a potential husband online after a dream:
     "You start going on their Instagram with a fake page, checking their stories...I already know that came from you. That was not from God." (23:17)
2. God: Dreams from God build you up, bring peace/curiosity, align with His character, and are self-authenticating over time.
3. Enemy: Dreams from the enemy sow fear, anxiety, paralysis, or encourage idolatry and the wasting of time or relationships.

Prophecy vs. Fortune Telling (Discernment)

• Spiritual Realms and Information: Stephanie unpacks the difference between prophetic revelation and fortune telling, noting both draw on real spiritual realms but are powered by different spirits and intentions.
• True Mark of Godly Leaders/Prophets:
  Quote: “You would know them by their fruits. If their lifestyle does not match the fruits of the Holy Spirit, it's not the Holy Spirit.” (33:48)

Relationships, Marriage, and Trusting God’s Timing

• Five Qualities of a Godly Husband: Leader, learner, loyal partner, provider, protector.
• Trusting God in Waiting: Stephanie uses biblical narratives and her own testimony—including meeting her husband at a COVID-era baby shower—to illustrate that God orchestrates timing and connection when we surrender our desires and standards to Him.
  • Quote: “Trust God as the Father who gives away his bride... If you position yourself in a place where: God, I’m not willing to settle just to have somebody... He will present you [to the right one].” (36:34)
• Embracing Rejection: Viewing closed doors as God's protection, not personal failure.
• Standards in Dating: Keep non-negotiables biblical; be flexible on cultural preferences.

Listener Question: Overcoming Fear About Marriage and Motherhood (47:06)

• A letter asks whether God understands when we say we don’t want marriage or children out of fear, but actually do desire those things deep down.

• Stephanie's Response: God knows our hearts and understands the roots of our fears and self-protective strategies; He is patient, loving, and gentle—waiting for us to heal, learn, and express our true desires.

  Quote: “God isn't just looking at what we’re saying; He's looking at where it’s coming from... He’s so kind, he’s so loving, he’s so merciful that he’s just waiting for you. He’s right there.” (48:01)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On interpreting dreams:
  “When God gives you a dream, it doesn't leave you feeling crippled in fear. ...It leaves you with this impression for wanting to know more... wanting to continue the conversation.” – Stephanie (13:20)
• On God’s patience:
  “Even though we’re grown in our eyes... When you think of a baby... When God looks at us when we’re functioning from pain, ignorance, hurt, he’s like, ‘Oh, you’re a baby. And it’s okay. I’m going to hold you.’” – Stephanie (49:31)
• On spiritual maturity and leadership:
  “When he says you will know them by their fruits... You can smell the fragrance of the Holy Spirit on them. ...Do they remind you, when you’re around them, do you feel like you want to get closer to God or them?” – Stephanie (34:15)
• On self-awareness in relationships:
  “We have to be honest with ourselves. We have to be self-aware. ...When we don’t get manipulative, when we’re just like allowing things to be what they are, you know…” – Stephanie (25:21)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• Stephanie’s Early Life & First Supernatural Encounter: 03:29 – 11:07
• How to Know If a Dream Is From God: 11:07 – 14:32
• Crystal’s Dream Example & Interpretation: 14:32 – 19:20
• Stewardship Over Territory & Growth in Prayer: 19:20 – 21:58
• Types of Dreams (Self, God, Enemy): 22:11 – 28:32
• Prophecy vs. Fortune Telling Discussion: 29:14 – 34:15
• Relationship Advice, Singles & Trust: 35:11 – 46:48
• Listener Letter: Fear of Marriage & God’s Patience: 47:06 – 50:28
• What I'm Going Through / Positive Outcomes: 50:41 – 52:28

Closing Advice

• “Keep your standards spiritual, sweetie.” – Crystal (52:30)
• “Keep it honest, sweetie.” – Stephanie (53:08)

Overall Tone and Takeaway

This episode radiates warmth, wisdom, and humor while also pulling no punches about the messy, mysterious parts of faith and life. Stephanie and Crystal offer practical steps, stunning personal stories, and spiritual insights for anyone seeking healing, understanding, or a deeper relationship with God—especially regarding the mysterious realm of dreams.

No matter your background or faith journey, you’ll come away feeling uplifted, equipped, and reminded that your deepest hopes and questions matter to God—and that keeping it honest and spiritual is always the best path.