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Hello and welcome to this episode of Kennedy Saves the World. If you're a parent and you're like me, you think about your kids all the time and you wonder if you're parenting them right and appropriately, considering their temperament, their skills, their desires, their work ethic. Because within one family I've got two kids who are very opposite from each other. And you know, within one family you can have such different kids that almost have to be parented differently. And you know, it's very interesting because like yoga pants versus joggers, there is always a trend in parenting and it can be very destructive if parents, especially moms, abandon their intuition and gravitate toward a school of parenting that is in fashion for whatever reason. And it always changes, you know, for, for a long time, tiger moms were the thing. If you weren't a tiger mom, if you weren't riding your kids ass and making them take, you know, Mandarin Chinese and violin lessons while being on the swim team and you know, creating a charity of their own and making sure that they did everything perfectly, then you and your child were both failures. And then there was the rise of gentle parenting, which you know, as a parent absolutely drives me crazy because these parents have always been so annoying. And I remember when my girls were little, being at the park and everything that happened, every interaction, you know, there was always a kid who was like, Madison, you know, let's think about our feelings for a sec. It's like, no, sometimes Madison needs to be told to shut the up. And yeah, it, it hurts. Gentle parents want to be their kids friends and they do, I would say arguably more damage than the tiger moms. Like the tiger moms can have unnecessary expectations and can really damage their kids self esteem long term. But on the other side of that, their kids may actually amount to something and develop self esteem later when they're more successful than their parents. But gentle parents who just indulge every emotional whim and actually don't facilitate better emotional regulation, they suck. Because sometimes you have to tell your kids no. Sometimes you have to give your kids boundaries. And then when they get to be teenagers, you also have to give them independence. Because the problem with, you know, helicopter Parents and panda moms and all that just nonsense is this desire to control outcomes in your kids lives, which is always a reflection of you. It is always a reflection of the parents ego. And all you need to do is be involved in a sport and hear other kids, other kids, parents talking about them, you know, with the kind of intensity that they obviously tackle their own lives with. And I remember there was one dad in preschool and our daughters were friends and I asked him, you know, how is Ellery? And he was like, she's a genius. And we're actually, you know, they, they think we should have her tested. And I was like, really? And he was like, no, she's a normal kid. But it made me laugh. So I stole that line from him. And I use it all the time because there are parents who really feel that way and they want to show other parents how successful they are as parents by broadcasting their kids success. And you know, it's like, it's evident in the Christmas letter every year that, you know, we've always joked that what if people are like, well, you know, little Brian is drinking and pretty sure, yeah, he's only 16 now, but he'll probably be in rehab before he's done with college. Like, what if parents were actually honest in their Christmas letters, But instead it's like so and so did so great on the other, just amazing. And they've mastered 14 languages. Like, I don't care. Is your child happy or is your child living your life miserably? So now there is the rise of something called beta moms, which actually is not a new trend. So there is a parenting influencer named Sophie Jaffe, and she was profiled in the Wall Street Journal for this groundbreaking form of parenting where she actually trusts her children. This has been going on for a long time. Like, for those of us in libertarian circles, it's called free range parenting. And I am not an adherent of any one parenting style. My parenting style is you can, if you're doing well, if you've got good grades, if you're not getting in trouble, you can pretty much do whatever you want. And you set the confines of your own freedom when you start screwing around. And when I have to raise my voice and when I get mad, that's when I start to limit your freedom. Don't go anywhere more. Kennedy Saves the World right after this prearranged parenting. A wonderful woman named Lenore Skenazy. And this is too intense for a lot of parents. It's like, yeah, you know, it's like set Your own parameters, set your own goals. She used to let her 7 year old son ride the subway and people would get really freaked out. And she would also go to bat for parents who let their kids walk to school by themselves. Now, in New York City, you don't have the luxury of hovering over every single thing your parent, your kids do. You have to not only allow them to be independent, you have to cultivate a sense of understanding of human nature from a pretty young age. And you know, it's like there are parents who reel in horror when they find out that kids are being raised in New York City. But you know, I have to say, one of my daughters, she was 6 when we moved here, the other was 10. And you know, the younger one definitely considers herself to be a New Yorker, but she and her friends, like I would say all their friends, are pretty empathetic people because they see so much like they have a better understanding of human nature than most adults do. And, and they also develop a radar for when something doesn't feel right because you have to. And you know, yeah, it can be scary putting kids in stressful situations, but flip side is if you try and protect them from any stress or fear, when they get into college, they lose their minds. So there is something to be said for these beta moms. As you know, the Wall Street Journal coined it. Although it is just a retread version of free range parenting where you know, you are not in your kid's life 24 hours a day. You are letting them develop relationships and boundaries and when they cross those boundaries, you let them know, but you're not there at every single practice, at every single moment. You know, you're, you're not hovering over them because that's when you really stifle growth. And those are the kids. If you combine like helicopter parenting with gentle parenting, that's a recipe for disaster. And you know, I see these kids, they don't see me because they don't look me in the eye, because they can't have conversations, because they, they don't have normal emotional regulation when every single tantrum from the time they were 18 months old has become, you know, a demonstrable teachable moment. And it's very, very dangerous because it, it is kneecapping socially to a group of kids who never really had to figure out how to think for themselves. I remember reading an article a few years ago about one of the biggest problems with helicopter parents they were finding in colleges is they wouldn't leave. And there was one mom who was trying to stay in her son's dorm room for a week. Uh, that's not good. If you, if you feel you have to do that, first of all, get psychological help. Second of all, you have failed. You have done your child a great disservice. So I encourage parents to read this article in the Wall Street Journal about Beta moms because at least it's something to think about. At least, you know, you can ponder giving your kids a little more leeway. Because if you don't trust them and they don't learn to trust themselves, how are they ever going to be functioning independent adults who run society? At some point, they're going to have to. I mean, you know, right now we are seeing what has happened with these coddled academia brats. Kids who were raised by college professors and then like Katie Wilson, who is now the mayor of Seattle. Like, it's a problem when, you know, the only life experience younger people have is in academia. That's not the real world. So when they get a taste of it, sometimes the real world has pointy edges. And teaching kids how to pick themselves up and learn how to deal with that, sometimes it sucks because your gut will tell you to intervene. And, you know, the more you allow your kids to make mistakes, stand up and rebound from that, the better they will be and the better society will be. There is no one perfect way to do it. But if you do something that is counterintuitive to what you know you probably should be doing and what your child is needs temperamentally, that's when you can make some really egregious mistakes. And you don't have to do that. I'm telling you, you let your kid be who they are, and you, by a few simple acts, will be saving the world. This has been Kennedy Saves the World. I'm Kennedy. Listen ad free with the Fox News podcast, please. Plus subscription on Apple Podcasts and Amazon Prime. Members can listen to this show ad free on the Amazon music app. Oh, go ahead and leave me a review while you're there. I'd love to hear what you have to say. You've been listening to Kennedy Saves the World on the Fox News Podcast Network.