Happy Hour: Mastering Modern Etiquette

Summary

Kennedy Saves the World

Episode: Happy Hour: Mastering Modern Etiquette

Host: Kennedy
Guest: Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick (Etiquette Expert)
Date: December 19, 2025

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Episode Overview

Kennedy welcomes etiquette authority Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick for a lively, witty, and informative discussion on modern etiquette. As etiquette makes a comeback—especially among younger people—the episode explores dining do’s and don’ts, common pitfalls, and how good manners can lead to personal and professional success. With holiday gatherings in mind, they blend humor and practical tips to demystify contemporary social graces.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Rise and Importance of Etiquette

• Etiquette is Trending: Kennedy notes a resurgence of etiquette in social feeds and wonders why it’s coming back. Patricia suggests trends often cycle, and manners are newly “novel” for younger generations.
  • Patricia: “Sometimes when you go so far away from something, you tend to come back.” (02:52)
  • Kennedy: “Gen Zers love to feel like they are discovering something for the first time.” (02:59)

Phones and Table Settings

• Removing Phones from the Table: Patricia advocates removing phones and personal items from the dining table to foster genuine interaction.

  • Patricia: “You set a good example.” (01:35)
  • Kennedy: “It’s very easy when one person picks up their phone, everyone else does.” (01:50)

• Bags and Accessories: Handbags should go on the floor, lap, or provided hooks/footstools. Glasses and car keys should stay off the table.

  • Patricia: “Anything you’re not going to use to eat.” (02:13)
  • Kennedy: “Some fancy restaurants will provide you a little footstool for your nice bag.” (02:27)

How to Handle Glasses, Silverware, and Napkins

• Stemmed Glasses: Hold by the stem to avoid warming the drink and leaving fingerprints. Lipstick? Sip from the same spot, or blot lips first.

  • Patricia: “When you hold it this way, first of all, if this is a cold drink, do you want it to get warmer?” (03:31)
  • Kennedy: “Ew, gross.” (on fingerprints) (03:40)

• American vs. Continental Styles:

  • American Style: Cut food with fork in left hand, then switch to right to eat.
  • Continental (European) Style: Keep fork in left, knife in right, eat directly.
  • Kennedy: “My mom always taught me, put your left hand in your lap…” (04:47)
  • Patricia: “Who wants to look at your hand on the table?” (04:53)

• Setting the Table:

  • Forks on the left, knives on the right (blades facing in).
  • Bread plate to left, drink to right (“BMW: Bread, Main, Water” trick).
  • Patricia: “The knife goes on the right side.” (10:09)
  • Kennedy (joking): “I’ve been offending every guest I’ve ever had in my home.” (09:48)

• Napkin Etiquette:

  • Place on lap immediately after sitting; the fold faces you.
  • If leaving temporarily, napkin goes on chair—not table.
  • Use napkin sparingly; don’t bring it up to your face or tuck into shirt.
  • Patricia: “It does not go back on the table until everybody’s finished.” (07:10)
  • Kennedy: “Never, never in the shirt.” (07:51)

Dining Do’s and Don’ts

• Eating Pace and Conversation:

  • Eating is social. Match pace with others, take small bites, rest utensils periodically.
  • Don’t converse with food in your mouth.
  • Patricia: “We want to eat at the same pace as the other people at the table. Not too fast, not too slow.” (11:33)
  • Kennedy: “Small bites.” (11:42)

• Resting and Finished Utensil Positions:

  • Utensils rest on plate at 4 o’clock in the American style.
  • When done, place utensils together in the center of the plate.
  • Patricia: “It rests on the plate when you’re resting...then it goes to the middle.” (12:41)

• Bread and Butter:

  • Break off one piece at a time, butter individually.
  • Patricia: “If you butter your whole roll, you won’t get the job!” (15:46)

• Soup Etiquette:

  • Sip from the side of spoon; move spoon away from you while eating.
  • Avoid ordering messy foods at business meals.
  • Patricia: “Sip from the side.” (16:49)
  • Patricia: “If something is too challenging to eat, don’t eat it with other people.” (17:06)

• Tricky Foods (Burgers, Lobster, Oysters):

  • Cut large burgers in half or quarters before eating.
  • Let staff cut lobster if it’s unwieldy.
  • For oysters, use fork to loosen, then slurp if desired.
  • Patricia: “You have to cut [the burger] in half.” (18:28)
  • Patricia: “Loosen it up with the fork…to make sure it’s not stuck inside.” (19:59)

Cultural Differences

• Hands on the Table:
  • American: Hands in lap when not eating.
  • Continental: Wrists on table when resting.
  • Patricia: “If you see that [hands in lap], they’re perverts...they are suspicious of why your hand’s in your lap.” (20:35, tongue-in-cheek)

Modern Health and Self-Care

• Brief discussion on the popularity of GLP1 weight-loss drugs, balanced eating, and moderation.
  • Patricia: “Well, anyone who knows me knows that I’m very big on being healthy, being the right weight, taking vitamins and exercising.” (22:39)
  • Kennedy: “Moderation. That is the true self care.” (22:48)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On judgment and evaluation:

  • Patricia: “No one’s going to tell you, but they’re going to judge you.” (09:56)
  • Kennedy: “We’re all secretly judged all the time.” (10:00)
  • Patricia: “Well, let’s just say you’re evaluated.” (10:05)

• On etiquette’s social impact:

  • Patricia: “Table manners are about being mindful of other people.” (05:05)

• On American vs. Continental practices:

  • Kennedy: “I’d say, welcome to America. That’s what we do in America.” (12:10)

• When etiquette goes out the window:

  • Kennedy (joking): “If I’m by myself, then I just...I eat it with my hands and feet.” (17:55)

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Recommended Etiquette Books

• For beginners:
  • Patricia: “For people who are over 21, I have one called Thrive, the Ultimate Guide to Personal and Professional Success... a manual, really, for life, every etiquette topic you can imagine.” (23:18)
• Other mentions:
  • “Romancing the Home Library” (recent favorite, covers book etiquette) (24:16)
  • Her most popular book: “My Dog” (about dog etiquette) (24:34)
  • Kennedy: “My dog needs that desperately. I’ll read it to him, too.” (24:46)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:40] Kennedy introduces etiquette theme and guest
• [01:35] Phones and personal items at the table
• [02:52] Etiquette as a trend; Gen Z’s rediscovery
• [03:21] Holding a stemmed glass properly
• [04:03] American vs. continental utensils
• [05:05] Table manners & mindfulness toward others
• [06:05] Bread/drink trick (“BMW: Bread, Main, Water”)
• [07:17] Napkin etiquette and top tips
• [09:22] Proper place settings
• [11:20] Eating as a social activity
• [13:45] When to clear plates
• [15:31] Bread-and-butter etiquette
• [16:16] Soup etiquette and business meals
• [17:52] Burger and tricky food protocol
• [20:20] American vs. Continental hand placement
• [22:07] Moderation, self-care & health trends
• [23:15] Recommended books on etiquette

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Tone & Style

The episode is friendly, witty, and conversational—with a focus on practical tips and approachable advice. Kennedy's irreverent curiosity meets Patricia’s expertise for a fun take on topics often viewed as stuffy, with plenty of light banter and memorable one-liners.

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Useful Takeaways

• Remove phones and non-table items to encourage presence.
• Place napkin on lap immediately, with fold toward you—keep it off the table until done.
• Forks on the left, knives on the right (blade facing in).
• Eat at others’ pace and size bites so you can converse easily.
• Don’t butter the whole roll; bread is eaten and buttered one piece at a time.
• For messy or unwieldy foods, cut into manageable pieces—or order something else at a business meal.
• Etiquette isn’t about snobbery; it’s about being mindful and considerate.

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For anyone looking to become “the guest everyone wants to invite”—or just avoid being quietly judged—this episode delivers practical, modern wisdom with a sparkling side of humor.

Transcript

[Ainsley Earhart]

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[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

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[Ainsley Earhart]

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[Kennedy]

Hello, and welcome to this episode of Kennedy Saves the World. So it has been showing up in my feed lately. Etiquette. Do you know what to do if you are in a formal social situation and you have to reach for the right fork or you will be mortified to. Do you stand up? Do you sit down? Do you fight, fight, fight when someone new walks in the room or goes to sit down at your table? I don't know some of these rules, but I'm very eager to learn them. So today I have employed etiquette expert Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick. Welcome to Kennedy Saves the World, Patricia. Cheers to you and your health and greatness. This is ginger ale and frozen cranberries. This is a wonderful holiday mocktail if you want something that looks like champagne, but that will not get you hammered because that is not good etiquette. How are you, Patricia?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

I'm very well, thank you. And what first thing we do at the table is take our phones off. Well, you don't have to, but I'll take mine off the table. You set a good example.

[Kennedy]

Yeah. There you go. Bye.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Bye.

[Kennedy]

Patricia, come back. We need you.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

I'm coming back. I'm putting my phone on.

[Kennedy]

I think that's great because people are so obsessed with their phones that it's very easy when one person picks up their phone, everyone else does. They take that as a cue. And it's rare that people actually physically remove their phones from the table. But you think that's a good idea?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Absolutely. And your glasses, by the way, like these?

[Kennedy]

No, I can't see them.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Unless you're wearing them. No, if you're wearing them.

[Kennedy]

Oh, okay.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

I mean, just don't put them on the table.

[Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Or your car keys or your, you know, anything that you're not going to use to eat.

[Kennedy]

Okay.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay.

[Kennedy]

And what should women do with bags?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, that's a problem, unfortunately. It has to go on the floor, on your lap. Or if you have a hook under the table.

[Kennedy]

Yeah, I like hooks. Some fancy restaurants will provide you a little Footstool for your nice bag.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, if you're in Paris, you always get a footstool for your Kelly bags.

[Kennedy]

Yeah. That's only appropriate. I mean, we should all aspire to get a Kelly bag.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Of course.

[Kennedy]

So you have six books and has etiquette. It's been in my feed more lately. I don't know why. And I'm only assuming it's because etiquette has come back into fashion. Is that how you see it?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Isn't that wonderful to think that etiquette's come back into fashion? Yes. Yes. Because sometimes when you go so far away from something, you tend to come back.

[Kennedy]

Yeah. Because it's like a novel thing. And gen zers love to feel like they are discovering something for the first time. So they're like, oh, my garden manners. What are these?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

I know. Their grandmother's china.

[Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes. And goblets and silverware. And so they want to know how to use it.

[Kennedy]

So how do you. How do you drink from a stemmed glass?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, you hold it by the stem, first of all.

[Kennedy]

Yeah. Because a lot of people are like, hey, how's it going? Happy New Year.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yeah. So when you.

[Kennedy]

Happy New Year.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

When you hold it this way, first of all, if this is a cold drink, do you want it to get warmer?

[Kennedy]

No.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay.

[Kennedy]

Not unless it's brandy.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

So your hand makes it warmer.

[Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay.

[Kennedy]

And.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

And secondly, you get fingerprints on it.

[Kennedy]

Ew, gross.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

And third, it doesn't look very nice.

[Kennedy]

Doesn't it?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

No, this is much more sophisticated. Right. Cheers.

[Kennedy]

Cheers.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Again.

[Kennedy]

In the eyes.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Again. Again. Yes. And for women who wear lipsticks, I just. What I have on today, you just.

[Kennedy]

Have to stay on the same part of the glass.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

That's right.

[Kennedy]

Yeah. And then turn it away from the.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Lips, maybe just to blot your lips before you start drinking something. That's right.

[Kennedy]

There we go.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

That's right.

[Kennedy]

Okay. So you have some lovely silver in front of us. Yes. I hate eating with my left hand. I'm right handed. I will cut my food with my fork in my left hand. But I switch. Is that bad etiquette?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

That's American. American style.

[Kennedy]

So I was in London recently, and one of my fellow diners was British and was like, no, you're supposed to eat with your left hand. I'm like, I don't like the way that feels.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay. If you eat in Europe, the European style, the continental style, is kind of cut, eat, cut, eat off of the back of your tines, we call them, if you're American. We cut, place our knife Down. We switch our fork to our right hand and eat with your right hand. If you're right handed.

[Kennedy]

See? And my mom always taught me, put your left hand in your lap when you're eating. Is that true?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes.

[Kennedy]

Should you do that?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Who wants to look at your hand on the table?

[Kennedy]

Maybe if you're trying to make people.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Jealous of a nice feeling. A nice wig.

[Kennedy]

Damn, girl. But that's okay.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Think about table manners, even if you don't know all the rules. Table manners are about being mindful of other people.

[Kennedy]

Okay.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay. What do you want to see? Do you want to see me, you know, with my napkin on the table, my hands on the table, leaning over like this? So we want to be civilized and enjoy the meal more.

[Kennedy]

And should you stand up when someone comes to the table?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

If they are. If you're a gentleman and it's your date.

[Kennedy]

Okay.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes. In a restaurant.

[Kennedy]

What if it's in a table full of six or eight people?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Certainly if the person's not late, you wouldn't. I don't think we do that anymore.

[Kennedy]

Anymore.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

We used to do that in clubs and probably in private clubs now they still do it, and certainly probably in England and maybe France. But yes, to get up. Well, first of all, if you do have somebody sitting to you. We used to be male, female, male, female. But now that we don't have all. But traditionally, the man would stand up and seat the woman to his left.

[Kennedy]

Oh, that's nice. I learned a fun trick from my partner, who's a West Pointer, because they had to go through a lot of etiquette at West Point.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Right.

[Kennedy]

And that is. Whenever we sit down, he does this. And I'm like, what is that? And he's like, bread, drink. And he's like, that's how you find out which drink is yours. Because the water is to the right and the bread is to the left.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

BMW bread. Main water.

[Kennedy]

Oh, yeah.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

But I do tell my clients not to do it above the table.

[Kennedy]

Oh, okay. No, he doesn't like.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

No, no, no. Do it under the table.

[Kennedy]

Oh, interesting.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yeah. Because you want it to seem like, you know that automatically.

[Kennedy]

Yes, of course.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Without having to. Oh, bean.

[Kennedy]

Yeah. But then people are like, what are you doing? And they're like, oh. Like, everyone seems very relieved when they hear that.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, it's kind of cute, actually. But in the meantime, it's better to do it under the table.

[Kennedy]

Yes. And whenever we go to a restaurant and we have cloth napkins, I drive my daughters crazy. Cause I'm like, cloth, cloth. Cause that Means whenever you enter a restaurant and you have a cloth napkin.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

When you sit down right on your lap, first thing. Yes.

[Kennedy]

In France, where the naked ladies are.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

And you just turn it around.

[Kennedy]

Oh, you turn it around.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes.

[Kennedy]

Turn the bead around.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

I didn't know that the foal goes toward you.

[Kennedy]

Oh, that's a good one. I had no idea.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay. And that's leg up. This is one of the top 10 table manners tips I will give you. Is that napkin on your lap as soon as you sit down, it does not go back on the table until everybody's finished.

[Kennedy]

Okay?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay. If you have to go to the restroom, it goes on your chair. Unfortunately, nobody likes to do that, but that's where it goes. And then many restaurants, the waiter will come and he will put it back.

[Kennedy]

On the table, fold it, make it into a swan.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes, yes, yes. But he shouldn't be doing it. But he does it, because that's how they're trained. And then how do we use the napkin?

[Kennedy]

Sparingly?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Not like some people in my family. I won't mention names.

[Kennedy]

Yeah. No, no, no. Never. Never in the shirt.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

No, never in the shirt.

[Kennedy]

If you're eating lobster, they'll give you a plastic bib.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Right. And also, don't bring it up like this.

[Kennedy]

Okay.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay.

[Kennedy]

Yes.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Keep it together.

[Kennedy]

Keep it together like that.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

And then just like this.

[Kennedy]

Okay. On the top. See, I usually. I usually take the. The greasy bits and put them on the inside.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

That's a good idea.

[Kennedy]

Yeah. And then when people walk by, they don't see barbecue sauce.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Absolutely.

[Ainsley Earhart]

And blood.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

That's right. And that's why you keep it. That's why you use it like that. Yeah.

[Kennedy]

You know, that's when you take the folds. I'm like.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Right. And then you put it back together on your lap. Yes.

[Kennedy]

The fold goes towards you. What else are we not doing that? We need to know what's another one.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay. How do we use our knives and forks? Okay, so outside in. Do you want to show me where you're going to put your knife and fork on your.

[Kennedy]

Yeah. I always get this wrong. So I would do. I would do this. Is that wrong?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Are you having your salad first?

[Kennedy]

Yes.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay. Then it goes on the outside.

[Kennedy]

That's right.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

And your knife on the left, which you did. All right, so how do we remember that if people don't. Because one person here said they didn't know how to set the table. So I said it's F O, R, K F, F O, R K. Forks. Okay. I mean, n. I F, E, N, N. Okay. Okay. Knife, plate, fork, fork. And then if you. If you see a spoon. Enough. Fork. What am I doing? I'm sorry. The opposite.

[Kennedy]

Oh, really?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes, the opposite.

[Kennedy]

The forks go on the left.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes. What am I doing? What am I doing? I haven't done this for a few months. See, we forget. Okay.

[Kennedy]

And where's the blade of the fork?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Listen, do you know why? Because I say this.

[Kennedy]

Excuse me.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

We shouldn't say the reason. It goes. Look, you're using it with. Look. See? Very simple. All these things are rational if you think about them.

[Kennedy]

Okay. I always put the forks over here.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Right. Wrong.

[Kennedy]

I've been violating.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

I did the same thing.

[Kennedy]

I've been offending every guest I've ever had in my home.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, they were probably polite enough not to tell you.

[Kennedy]

Yes, exactly. But then they never returned.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

That's the thing about this. No one's going to tell you, but they're going to judge you.

[Kennedy]

Oh, yes, they will. That's a really good point. And we're all secretly judged all the time.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, let's just say you're evaluated.

[Kennedy]

Okay. All right. That's fair.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay, so.

[Kennedy]

So the knife goes on the right side.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

So now we face the plate. The brave places. Yes. You know. And you know why that is? The first knives were used. They actually used knives to eat with them. And if they got into arguments, they might just.

[Kennedy]

Whoa, whoa. Wow.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

So they said, let's put the knives toward our.

[Kennedy]

Oh, okay.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay. All right. Okay. So now let's go back to how I was going to fork. That's why I was like, f, O, R, K. So fork, F, O for your plate. Okay. R. Forget that. N for knife. And that's it. If you're going to have dessert, let's say I didn't bring those with me. Like dessert. If you're going to have, like, say, cake and ice cream.

[Kennedy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

You've probably seen this at formal table settings.

[Kennedy]

Yeah. And that's the teaspoon for the coffee.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

No, that's for the dessert spoon. If you're having cake and ice cream. Yes. Could you imagine a teaspoon? That's not. That's.

[IKEA Ad Voice]

Well, no.

[Kennedy]

I mean, this is massive. But I assume when you see a tiny fork and a tiny spoon over here, that that's for the coffee.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

It's for dessert. You might have another spoon up there for coffee. Or they'll bring the spoon with the coffee.

[Kennedy]

With the coffee.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes. Okay. Yes, yes, yes.

[Kennedy]

And what are we doing wrong in terms of eating and how we eat and how many bites and things like that.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay. Eating is a social activity. Okay. For business. We're not there to eat, but we eat. Of course. We're there to converse, get to know the other person.

[Kennedy]

Network, chit chat.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Exactly.

[Kennedy]

Make deals.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Exact. So we want to eat at the same pace as the other people at the table. Not too fast, not too slow. All right.

[Kennedy]

Small bites.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Small bites. And small bites especially because you have time to. And every few bites. Put your silverware down in the resting position, which is at 4 o'.

[Kennedy]

Clock.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

American style would be like this. Yes. Continental style. They're resting styles like that.

[Kennedy]

Oh, weird. Okay, well, we're in America. We're in America. We're gonna do American things with our American. Okay.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

All right.

[Kennedy]

So I always rest.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

If you had somebody visiting, like the president of France at the White House.

[Kennedy]

I'd say, welcome to America. That's what we do in America.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay.

[Kennedy]

Okay.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

So.

[Kennedy]

So I rest them off because I know that the silver is not supposed to touch the table once you started eating. So you. You put it on the plate like this, resting off the plate. And then when you.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

It does not rest off the plate.

[Kennedy]

How are you supposed to rest it?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

You rest it on the plate. See, I didn't bring a plate with me. Yeah, that's what I mean. I should have brought that.

[Kennedy]

So here's the plate. So here's the plate.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Like it rests at the edge of the plate.

[Kennedy]

Yeah, exactly. And then when you're done, it rests on the plate, pointing to the middle of the plate.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

It rests on the plate when you're resting, meaning you're taking a break from eating on the plate. And then it goes to the middle.

[Kennedy]

Yes, exactly. Exactly. And then it's in the middle. And then it's like they're together. I'm done. Take this away from me. It's garbage.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

That's right.

[Kennedy]

That's what it signals to.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes. So if everybody's eating at about the same pace everyone will be eating at. Everybody will be finished about the same time. Okay. The wait staff should not come and start taking plates, Especially not if you have it in your home and in a restaurant either. If you're entertaining for business.

[Kennedy]

I need to get a wait staff.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes. Thank you, Patricia. I can train them. If you got them, let me know.

[Kennedy]

It's very Gilded Age.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes. So they should wait until everyone's finished. Unless there's a very slow eater like my. Well, I won't say. One of my relatives used to be very slow. And I'd say I can't wait any longer. Unless you're the queen, you can clear the place.

[Kennedy]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Eight people are finished.

[Kennedy]

She's gonna be here all night.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Eight people are finished. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So again, we take small bites. We try to eat at the same pace. If you wanna ask a person a question across from you, whether it's business or social, you wait till they finished.

[Kennedy]

Chewing and wait till you finish chewing.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Oh, of course. Wait till you finish chewing. You don't wanna. Who wants to see food?

[Kennedy]

And what about drinking water while you're eating? How does that go?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, you're welcome to drink water.

[Kennedy]

Okay.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay. But not while you're eating. So your silverware's resting.

[Kennedy]

Okay.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay.

[Kennedy]

You gotta rest.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

You can't be like, nope. And then dab your mouth. Dab your mouth. And then you take a sip of your water.

[Kennedy]

This is wrong.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes, that's wrong.

[Kennedy]

Don't do this. Don't go anywhere more. Kennedy Saves the World, right after this.

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[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

And also, don't talk with your knife.

[Kennedy]

Oh, yeah, people love doing that. It's scary because men like that.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

I've never seen. Do you see women do that? Not to be.

[Kennedy]

No, not enough.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

I think it's men we're trying to.

[Kennedy]

Yeah. What are some other ways we violate etiquette when we're eating?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay, so we've done our napkin, we've the silverware. Now what about the roll with the butter? That's a big one. Okay. Because most people don't know this, and they can lose the job. I have a saying.

[Kennedy]

It's the butter, and then you put it on the butter plate with the.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Butter in butter, your whole roll and you won't get the job.

[Kennedy]

Oh, no. I thought you just took some and put it on your plate. And then butter as you go, one.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Bite at a time. You're exactly. That's exactly what you do.

[Kennedy]

Well, I have celiac disease, so I rarely get a roll.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Oh.

[Kennedy]

So I don't have to worry about that.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, just think about this. If you're interviewing someone and they butter the whole roll and start eating it like this, don't hire them.

[Kennedy]

I won't.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay. They're human. Exactly.

[Kennedy]

I don't want them in my orbit.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

No. So that you pinch off one bite. You better. One bite. And then you eat it.

[Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

That's nice, right?

[Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

And then one thing I never recommend for business meals. I know. To ever have soup, it's just messy. I mean, it shouldn't be messy if you're eating it the right way. And socially.

[Kennedy]

Why do they have such big soup spoons? It's impossible to fit in your mouth.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, this is one soup spoon. And then sometimes you'll see round ones. Round ones. Okay. This is not how we eat soup.

[Kennedy]

Yeah, it seems like it is. Because physics.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

You sip from the side because you.

[Kennedy]

Go from the wide end to the narrow end right in your head hole. Like that seems appropriate.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

No, sip from the side.

[Kennedy]

But then it can go like a vampire. And then you've got carrot ginger dripping down the side of your face.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Dump each on your spoon. Okay.

[Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

The other thing is the reason people.

[Kennedy]

But then it takes forever to eat soup. Well, if you're just ordering, then 10 milliliters at a time, don't order it then. Yeah, I mean, it's.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

My advice is if something is too challenging to eat, don't eat it with other people.

[Kennedy]

How do you eat a burger?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, let me go finish with a soup there. Just one thing. Okay. So the other reason people get on them, and this is amazing how many adults don't know this, is that when you eat soup, first of all, you go away from the bowl. Soup. Okay. And then you do this. You'll have a little bit and you go like that. And then you go up. Then you can. If you eat like this, you can.

[Kennedy]

Lean over your bowl.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

You can. You're actually allowed to lean at the table. But up.

[Kennedy]

Yeah, up and over. Not hunched.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

No. And no. Sitting on the table like this. No.

[Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay. Okay. So eat like that. And then you won't get it on you.

[Kennedy]

Wonderful. What about a burger?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

A burger? Well, do you eat burgers?

[Kennedy]

If there's a gluten free Bun. Or if I'm by myself, then I just. I eat it with my hands and feet.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, hamburgers are a big lunch item.

[Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

So, you know, I mean, they can even be dinner. At any rate. Young people like them, older people like them. If a hamburger is most unwieldy, which many of them are.

[Kennedy]

Oh, yeah. Especially if you're going to a nice steak place, they want to be like, here's $150 worth of goodies.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Right. So depending upon the size, you can cut it in half or even cut it in quarters.

[Kennedy]

Oh, really?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

And then you can pick it up. You certainly have to cut it in half.

[Kennedy]

You have to cut it in half.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Have to cut it in half.

[Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Because you don't want to be like, no, no. And. Or you can. When I used to eat hamburgers, I would use it with a knife. Eat it with a knife and fork. But that's because I put so much ketchup on it, it's a fire.

[Kennedy]

A bull offense.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, you cannot let me. I don't have to worry about it. You have your own business, and I don't eat hamburgers.

[Kennedy]

Good for you.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

There you go.

[Kennedy]

What's another tricky food item that people struggle with?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Another tricky food item would be. Well, I don't know how many people are having lobster at this time of the year, but I guess if you're going to the Islands. Going to the islands?

[Kennedy]

Yes.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

If you're having lobster at the Palm, let them cut it up for you.

[Kennedy]

Nice.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Take it out for you.

[Kennedy]

I love when they pre. And it's like, I don't mind cracking lobsters. I don't mind wrestling with seafood, but it can be very unwieldy. I've shucked oysters in the past.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, good for you.

[Kennedy]

Yeah. In Panama City and in Portland, growing up, there was a place where you could chuck your own oysters. And I always thought that was cool. Cool.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Good for you. I love cooked oysters. My dad used to make them at Christmas time.

[Kennedy]

Oh, that's good. Yeah, That's a very fried oyster. That's it.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

That's it. They were so good.

[Kennedy]

But I normally eat raw oysters and I'm hoping for pearls.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

So how do you eat your raw oyster? Do you slurp it or do you.

[Kennedy]

I do both. Like, usually I take the fork and I dip it in the mignonette and maybe a little hot sauce, or I pour some hot sauce on it and then I. But every once in a while, I'll loosen it and go.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

It's actually okay to do that?

[Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

It's a certain oyster, but you should.

[Kennedy]

Loosen it up with the fork.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Absolutely.

[Kennedy]

To make sure that it's not stuck inside. Because then you're. Then that's a catastrophe.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Exactly. Exactly. Speaking of which, I'm. You notice I put my hands up here. Yes. Okay. If. Well, there's no food on the table, first of all, so I can do that. But you talked about hands in your lap. Hands in your lap for American style.

[Kennedy]

Mm.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

European style.

[Kennedy]

They put their hands on the table.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

From the wrist up before the food's there. Or always when they're resting.

[Kennedy]

Okay.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Before the food is there when they're resting. And they do not put their hands in their laps.

[Kennedy]

Interesting. Why? Because.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

So if you see that they're perverts.

[Kennedy]

And they can't help themselves, well, they.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Are suspicious of why your hand's in your lap.

[Kennedy]

Oh. I think that's more on them than us.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

This is just this.

[Kennedy]

I think that has a lot to do with that Victorian.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

300 years old. 300 years old. And you'll see it. I mean, you go to Brazil. I don't know. I don't know if you go to Brazil. But anyhow, if you go to South America, wherever they. In the European style, they'll say, why do you have your hands in your lap?

[Kennedy]

Oh.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

And of course, we look at them and they say, why do you have your hands on the table?

[Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, it's from the. It's not like this. In the meantime, let's just say you're going out with friends and you've all finished eating and food is gone. You know, get comfortable.

[Kennedy]

Sure.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

It's different. Yeah, but that. That means all the food is gone. You're going to be there and come, you know, talk and.

[Kennedy]

Should you have dessert and a digestif and all of that?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Only if you want to. Yeah, only if you want to.

[Kennedy]

You know, when in Rome, I say, well, that's right.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

That's right. I know in Southampton, we usually have dinner at the restaurant and then go to Sant Ambrose for gelato.

[Kennedy]

Oh, that sounds lovely.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

I know. Take a little walk and.

[Kennedy]

Do you eat gelato in a cone?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

You eat it with a spoon. Well, I know in Italy you eat it in a cone, probably, but generally I see it with a cup.

[Kennedy]

Yeah, that's. I mean, I have to. Because I have to. I can't have the cone. I wish I could.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

I haven't seen it in a cone. Really?

[Kennedy]

Yeah. I mean, they'll. They'll do it. They'll do it for Americans.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes. Maybe. I guess I just. We just not the custom in my family.

[Kennedy]

Yeah. Do you like the advent of GLP1s? Because people are eating less.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

I think it's a good thing that people are trying to be healthy.

[Kennedy]

Yes.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

I think that's a very good thing.

[Kennedy]

But are they? I think there are a lot of people who are taking the shot because they want to eat like gluttons and still lose weight.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, I think that's a judgment call, and I don't want to be judgmental.

[Kennedy]

Oh, I do.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

I've made a decent clip. I can't. I'm in the etiquette business.

[Kennedy]

That's true. You can evaluate. You can constantly evaluate. I'm going to call it that. When my girls told me I'm judgmental, I would be like, no, I'm a evaluating. It's completely different.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, anyone who knows me knows that I'm very big on being healthy. Yes. Being the right weight.

[Kennedy]

Yes.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Taking vitamins and exercising.

[Kennedy]

Moderation.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes.

[Kennedy]

That is the true self care.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

That's mine. A little Prosecco, a little coffee.

[Kennedy]

Why wouldn't you.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

This, a little that. Yes.

[Kennedy]

I love it.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Moderation.

[Kennedy]

Great mentality.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

But some people actually have it. You know, they have a problem mentally and they have to take, you know, maybe therapy or. And. Or that. Sure.

[Kennedy]

And maybe in equal measure. So of your six etiquette books.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes.

[Kennedy]

Which one would you suggest to people who are just starting out on their etiquette journey?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

In etiquette or in general?

[Kennedy]

In etiquette?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

In etiquette. In general. In general. Okay. Well, for people who are over 21, I have one called Thrive, the Ultimate Guide to Personal and Professional Success. Nice. And it's a manual, really, for life, every etiquette topic you can imagine.

[Kennedy]

Wonderful. So it's how etiquette can be projected outward and transform your entire life.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

That's absolutely right. Absolutely right. That's people who have. They call them. You'll see. Now, is AI going to take over the world? Well, they say the people who have good soft skills, like you and I being able to talk to each other, of course. And communicate, those people will still have jobs.

[Kennedy]

Oh, great.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Okay. So. So, I mean, obviously they're gonna need technical people who just sit there and do whatever they do. Those technical people. But then they'll need other people who have the soft skills, the social skills to be able to converse and have meetings and figure out how to do.

[Kennedy]

Things and be tactile.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

That's exactly right. That's exactly right. So. But it's funny, I just read a new book. It's just out this month.

[Kennedy]

What's it called?

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

It's called Romancing the Home Library. Wonderful. The art and joy of living with Books.

[Kennedy]

Great.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, there's only one chapter on etiquette in it.

[Kennedy]

That's okay.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

The very end. Book Etiquette, how to Treat Books. Book Etiquette, how to Treat Books.

[Kennedy]

I love it. I'm going to read it. Cheers to you, Patricia.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Thank you very much.

[Kennedy]

Wonderful.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

And I looked on Amazon to look at my listing and this is kind of funny. I don't know if this is good to tell you this on this program, but my most popular book is My Dog about dog etiquette. It's my book about dog etiquette.

[Kennedy]

My dog needs that desperately. I'll read it to him, too.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Well, I brought you the book.

[Kennedy]

Oh, excellent. Thank you, Patricia.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Yes, yes.

[Kennedy]

Patricia Napier Fitzgerald. Go find all of her books and you will find yourself with the best manners you've ever, ever imagined. This has been Kennedy Saves the World and always toasting to you along with Patricia Napier for Fitzpatrick. Fitzpatrick is exactly what I meant. I'm Kennedy. Listen ad free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcast and Amazon Prime. Members can listen to this show ad free on the Amazon music app. Oh, go ahead and leave me a review while you're there. I'd love to hear what you have to say. You've been listening to Kennedy Saves the World on the Fox News Podcast Network. This is Ainsley Earhart. Thank you for joining me for the 52 episode podcast series the Life of.

[Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick]

Jesus, A listening experience that will provide hope, comfort and understanding of the greatest story ever told. Listen and follow [e-mail] or wherever you listen to podcasts.