Transcript

Ainsley Earhart (0:00)

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Kennedy (0:40)

Hello, and welcome to this episode of Kennedy Saves the World. So it has been showing up in my feed lately. Etiquette. Do you know what to do if you are in a formal social situation and you have to reach for the right fork or you will be mortified to. Do you stand up? Do you sit down? Do you fight, fight, fight when someone new walks in the room or goes to sit down at your table? I don't know some of these rules, but I'm very eager to learn them. So today I have employed etiquette expert Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick. Welcome to Kennedy Saves the World, Patricia. Cheers to you and your health and greatness. This is ginger ale and frozen cranberries. This is a wonderful holiday mocktail if you want something that looks like champagne, but that will not get you hammered because that is not good etiquette. How are you, Patricia?

Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick (1:35)

I'm very well, thank you. And what first thing we do at the table is take our phones off. Well, you don't have to, but I'll take mine off the table. You set a good example.

Kennedy (1:45)

Yeah. There you go. Bye.

Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick (1:46)

Bye.

Kennedy (1:48)

Patricia, come back. We need you.

Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick (1:49)

I'm coming back. I'm putting my phone on.

Kennedy (1:50)

I think that's great because people are so obsessed with their phones that it's very easy when one person picks up their phone, everyone else does. They take that as a cue. And it's rare that people actually physically remove their phones from the table. But you think that's a good idea?

Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick (2:05)

Absolutely. And your glasses, by the way, like these?

Summary

Kennedy Saves the World

Episode: Happy Hour: Mastering Modern Etiquette

Host: Kennedy
Guest: Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick (Etiquette Expert)
Date: December 19, 2025

Episode Overview

Kennedy welcomes etiquette authority Patricia Napier Fitzpatrick for a lively, witty, and informative discussion on modern etiquette. As etiquette makes a comeback—especially among younger people—the episode explores dining do’s and don’ts, common pitfalls, and how good manners can lead to personal and professional success. With holiday gatherings in mind, they blend humor and practical tips to demystify contemporary social graces.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Rise and Importance of Etiquette

Etiquette is Trending: Kennedy notes a resurgence of etiquette in social feeds and wonders why it’s coming back. Patricia suggests trends often cycle, and manners are newly “novel” for younger generations.
- Patricia: “Sometimes when you go so far away from something, you tend to come back.” (02:52)
- Kennedy: “Gen Zers love to feel like they are discovering something for the first time.” (02:59)

Phones and Table Settings

Removing Phones from the Table: Patricia advocates removing phones and personal items from the dining table to foster genuine interaction.
- Patricia: “You set a good example.” (01:35)
- Kennedy: “It’s very easy when one person picks up their phone, everyone else does.” (01:50)
Bags and Accessories: Handbags should go on the floor, lap, or provided hooks/footstools. Glasses and car keys should stay off the table.
- Patricia: “Anything you’re not going to use to eat.” (02:13)
- Kennedy: “Some fancy restaurants will provide you a little footstool for your nice bag.” (02:27)

How to Handle Glasses, Silverware, and Napkins

Stemmed Glasses: Hold by the stem to avoid warming the drink and leaving fingerprints. Lipstick? Sip from the same spot, or blot lips first.
- Patricia: “When you hold it this way, first of all, if this is a cold drink, do you want it to get warmer?” (03:31)
- Kennedy: “Ew, gross.” (on fingerprints) (03:40)
American vs. Continental Styles:
- American Style: Cut food with fork in left hand, then switch to right to eat.
- Continental (European) Style: Keep fork in left, knife in right, eat directly.
- Kennedy: “My mom always taught me, put your left hand in your lap…” (04:47)
- Patricia: “Who wants to look at your hand on the table?” (04:53)
Setting the Table:
- Forks on the left, knives on the right (blades facing in).
- Bread plate to left, drink to right (“BMW: Bread, Main, Water” trick).
- Patricia: “The knife goes on the right side.” (10:09)
- Kennedy (joking): “I’ve been offending every guest I’ve ever had in my home.” (09:48)
Napkin Etiquette:
- Place on lap immediately after sitting; the fold faces you.
- If leaving temporarily, napkin goes on chair—not table.
- Use napkin sparingly; don’t bring it up to your face or tuck into shirt.
- Patricia: “It does not go back on the table until everybody’s finished.” (07:10)
- Kennedy: “Never, never in the shirt.” (07:51)

Dining Do’s and Don’ts

Eating Pace and Conversation:
- Eating is social. Match pace with others, take small bites, rest utensils periodically.
- Don’t converse with food in your mouth.
- Patricia: “We want to eat at the same pace as the other people at the table. Not too fast, not too slow.” (11:33)
- Kennedy: “Small bites.” (11:42)
Resting and Finished Utensil Positions:
- Utensils rest on plate at 4 o’clock in the American style.
- When done, place utensils together in the center of the plate.
- Patricia: “It rests on the plate when you’re resting...then it goes to the middle.” (12:41)
Bread and Butter:
- Break off one piece at a time, butter individually.
- Patricia: “If you butter your whole roll, you won’t get the job!” (15:46)
Soup Etiquette:
- Sip from the side of spoon; move spoon away from you while eating.
- Avoid ordering messy foods at business meals.
- Patricia: “Sip from the side.” (16:49)
- Patricia: “If something is too challenging to eat, don’t eat it with other people.” (17:06)
Tricky Foods (Burgers, Lobster, Oysters):
- Cut large burgers in half or quarters before eating.
- Let staff cut lobster if it’s unwieldy.
- For oysters, use fork to loosen, then slurp if desired.
- Patricia: “You have to cut [the burger] in half.” (18:28)
- Patricia: “Loosen it up with the fork…to make sure it’s not stuck inside.” (19:59)

Cultural Differences

Hands on the Table:
- American: Hands in lap when not eating.
- Continental: Wrists on table when resting.
- Patricia: “If you see that [hands in lap], they’re perverts...they are suspicious of why your hand’s in your lap.” (20:35, tongue-in-cheek)

Modern Health and Self-Care

Brief discussion on the popularity of GLP1 weight-loss drugs, balanced eating, and moderation.
- Patricia: “Well, anyone who knows me knows that I’m very big on being healthy, being the right weight, taking vitamins and exercising.” (22:39)
- Kennedy: “Moderation. That is the true self care.” (22:48)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On judgment and evaluation:
- Patricia: “No one’s going to tell you, but they’re going to judge you.” (09:56)
- Kennedy: “We’re all secretly judged all the time.” (10:00)
- Patricia: “Well, let’s just say you’re evaluated.” (10:05)
On etiquette’s social impact:
- Patricia: “Table manners are about being mindful of other people.” (05:05)
On American vs. Continental practices:
- Kennedy: “I’d say, welcome to America. That’s what we do in America.” (12:10)
When etiquette goes out the window:
- Kennedy (joking): “If I’m by myself, then I just...I eat it with my hands and feet.” (17:55)

Recommended Etiquette Books

For beginners:
- Patricia: “For people who are over 21, I have one called Thrive, the Ultimate Guide to Personal and Professional Success... a manual, really, for life, every etiquette topic you can imagine.” (23:18)
Other mentions:
- “Romancing the Home Library” (recent favorite, covers book etiquette) (24:16)
- Her most popular book: “My Dog” (about dog etiquette) (24:34)
- Kennedy: “My dog needs that desperately. I’ll read it to him, too.” (24:46)

Timestamps for Key Segments

[00:40] Kennedy introduces etiquette theme and guest
[01:35] Phones and personal items at the table
[02:52] Etiquette as a trend; Gen Z’s rediscovery
[03:21] Holding a stemmed glass properly
[04:03] American vs. continental utensils
[05:05] Table manners & mindfulness toward others
[06:05] Bread/drink trick (“BMW: Bread, Main, Water”)
[07:17] Napkin etiquette and top tips
[09:22] Proper place settings
[11:20] Eating as a social activity
[13:45] When to clear plates
[15:31] Bread-and-butter etiquette
[16:16] Soup etiquette and business meals
[17:52] Burger and tricky food protocol
[20:20] American vs. Continental hand placement
[22:07] Moderation, self-care & health trends
[23:15] Recommended books on etiquette

Tone & Style

The episode is friendly, witty, and conversational—with a focus on practical tips and approachable advice. Kennedy's irreverent curiosity meets Patricia’s expertise for a fun take on topics often viewed as stuffy, with plenty of light banter and memorable one-liners.

Useful Takeaways

Remove phones and non-table items to encourage presence.
Place napkin on lap immediately, with fold toward you—keep it off the table until done.
Forks on the left, knives on the right (blade facing in).
Eat at others’ pace and size bites so you can converse easily.
Don’t butter the whole roll; bread is eaten and buttered one piece at a time.
For messy or unwieldy foods, cut into manageable pieces—or order something else at a business meal.
Etiquette isn’t about snobbery; it’s about being mindful and considerate.

For anyone looking to become “the guest everyone wants to invite”—or just avoid being quietly judged—this episode delivers practical, modern wisdom with a sparkling side of humor.