Kennedy Saves the World
Episode: Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau Need To Get A Room
Host: Kennedy
Date: October 14, 2025
Main Theme
Kennedy delivers a fiery, humorous, and critical monologue dissecting the rumored relationship between pop star Katy Perry and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Through a blend of pop culture analysis and biting commentary, she explores what these public displays mean for that couple, their public personas, and larger questions about vulnerability, image, and self-worth.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Rumored Relationship
- Kennedy opens with disbelief and disdain at the burgeoning romance rumors between Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau after photos show PDA on Perry's yacht off the coast of Santa Barbara.
- She critiques their motivations:
"No one really cares about him because he's like, if Gavin Newsom were a eunuch, that would be Justin Trudeau." (00:34)
"He is grabbing her ass, like, in full view. They know that she's going to be hounded by paparazzi." (00:24)
2. Kennedy Unpacks Katy Perry's Romantic History
- The host dives into Perry’s well-publicized relationships:
- Russell Brand: Kennedy references their disastrous marriage and the controversy surrounding Brand.
- Orlando Bloom: She shares a personal anecdote about hosting Orlando Bloom for a body treatment at her house, jokingly claiming “we’re practically best friends."
- Kennedy admits Perry's attraction to “questionable” men, but defends Orlando Bloom's “Legolas” role while still calling him a “boring person.” (01:40–02:50)
- She expresses sympathy for Perry’s struggles with her career and personal life implosions:
"You feel, in a way, you feel bad for her because even though she's rich and beautiful and lives a charmed life... it is a public, professional and personal implosion and you never, ever wish on someone that those things happen at the same time." (03:17)
3. Vulnerability and Manipulation
- Kennedy suggests Katy Perry’s current emotional vulnerability makes her susceptible to men like Trudeau:
"So what happens when women are in that vulnerable state? They are ripe for sociopaths to come and pluck. And that's what Justin Trudeau did." (03:41)
4. Critique of Justin Trudeau
- Kennedy is relentless in lampooning Trudeau, mocking his political persona and personal quirks:
"I cannot imagine that she was like, I wonder what Justin Trudeau is doing other than waxing his mansack, if it's still there. Because that's probably what he was doing then when it was waxed, probably painting it espresso brown because he's just a weird guy who didn't do a good job leading a beautiful nation." (03:56)
- She sees the media-fueled relationship as a ploy for Trudeau to rehabilitate his “tarnished image.”
"This is obviously just such a public play for him to rehabilitate his tarnished image to seem cool." (04:40)
5. Advice (and Warnings) to Katy Perry
- Kennedy addresses Perry directly, urging her to leave Trudeau:
"Katie, run. Do not walk. He, he. He is the worst kind of Canadian because, you know, he can't even play hockey. And you are not being a good goalie right now, protecting your lady garden from such an intruder. He is an invasive species and he is going to wreak havoc on what is left of your feminine dignity. So get out now." (05:06)
- She points to practical issues: distance, children, incompatible lifestyles, and “setting yourself up for disaster.”
6. Exasperation at the Situation
- Kennedy is incredulous that Perry is repeating past mistakes with men:
"You are making the same mistake over and over again. He. He. Not only is he not available, he's not good. He's not good enough for you." (06:17)
- The host mocks potential future song lyrics inspired by Trudeau:
“Last Friday night, I boned the former prime minister of Canada when he was in blackface. Is that gonna be your next song? It's not gonna be a hit, Katy...” (06:32)
7. Kennedy's Affection and Frustration
- Despite claiming little actual investment, Kennedy reveals a soft spot for Perry and, humorously, for Orlando Bloom.
- She encourages self-care and self-preservation:
"Go sail away to a healing compound and soothe your own soul by yourself. You need to do it." (06:49) "You are a single mom now, and that is sacred. Don't let him shoplift the pootie." (07:10)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On Trudeau and Perry:
"This is such a horror show. I don't believe it for a second. Her. Her taste cannot be that compromised." (05:43)
- On Perry's career slide:
"Apparently you have an allergy to hit music lately, and it's because of your bad choices, like playing grab ass with Justin Trudeau on your yacht." (06:45)
- On Trudeau's political and personal image:
"He can go dig a Canadian hole and throw himself in it and wallow around in that Vancouver dirt and douse himself in maple syrup for all I care." (06:07)
- Direct address to Perry:
"You are a single mom now, and that is sacred. Don't let him shoplift the pootie." (07:10)
Key Timestamps
- 00:00–00:45: Opening, recap of paparazzi sightings and the "nauseating new couple"
- 01:00–03:00: Katy Perry's romantic history—Brand, Bloom, and her public/professional struggles
- 03:41–04:45: Vulnerability, Trudeau's opportunism, and political analysis
- 05:06–05:43: Direct plea to Perry and warnings about Trudeau
- 06:17–07:10: Summary, frustration, and closing advice
Tone & Style
Kennedy’s delivery is biting, sarcastic, and highly personal—mixing pop culture snark, political commentary, and comedic exaggeration. She balances genuine sympathy for Perry with relentless ridicule of Trudeau and the media spectacle surrounding them.
Summary
Kennedy uses wit and candor to dissect the odd pairing of Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau, skewering both for their decisions and public images while urging Perry to value herself more highly. Listeners are treated to Kennedy’s signature blend of humor, pop culture reference, and personal (sometimes hyperbolic) investment—making for an entertaining, critical, and whirlwind monologue on the pitfalls of mixing fame, vulnerability, and calculated political moves.