Paul Walter Hauser Interview + Surviving Barstool Episode 1 Recap

Summary

Podcast Summary: KFC Radio – Paul Walter Hauser Interview + Surviving Barstool Episode 1 Recap

Introduction

In the December 5, 2024 release of KFC Radio, hosted by KFC and Feitelberg from Barstool Sports, listeners are treated to a dynamic blend of humorous banter, product promotions, and in-depth discussions. This episode features an exclusive interview with acclaimed actor Paul Walter Hauser and a recap of the first episode of the show Surviving Barstool. Throughout the conversation, the hosts engage with topics ranging from promotional segments to reflections on entertainment industry experiences, offering insights and entertaining anecdotes for both regular listeners and newcomers.

---

Promotional Segments

KFC kickstarts the episode with a series of product promotions, seamlessly integrating them into the conversation:

1. Fireball Whiskey and Birdie Shot Club (00:09 - 00:39)

   • Paul Walter Hauser enthusiastically endorses Fireball Whiskey, highlighting its role in enhancing a golf day plagued by minor frustrations.
   • Notable Quote:
     Paul Walter Hauser: "The best way to make a bad day better is Fireball Whiskey. You get their nips, the little shooters. They are great. Makes a bad day way, way, way better." [00:09]

2. Pink Whitney Drink Interaction (00:39 - 00:54)

   • John and KFC engage in a playful exchange about the Pink Whitney drink, reflecting on its popularity among listeners.
   • Notable Quote:
     KFC: "I invented the thing, you pigeon." [00:42]

3. Jack Pocket Lottery App Promotion (01:40 - 03:28)

   • KFC introduces Jack Pocket, America's leading lottery app, emphasizing ease of use and the potential for life-changing jackpots.
   • Notable Quote:
     KFC: "Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music... Still haven't won. It's very easy to do it. Apparently, it's hard to win." [02:52]

4. Tommy John Underwear Endorsement (21:42 - 23:09)

   • KFC lauds Tommy John for their comfortable lounge pants and premium underwear, positioning them as ideal holiday gifts.
   • Notable Quote:
     KFC: "Great days begin with great underwear. That's a great tagline, man." [22:37]

5. Simplisafe Security Systems Advertisement (245:56 - 246:56)

   • KFC promotes Simplisafe, highlighting its comprehensive security features and special Black Friday discounts.
   • Notable Quote:
     KFC: "Keep your property safe... visit simplisafe.com KFC Radio and get 50% off." [245:56]

6. Pepper Palace Hot Sauces and Express Clothing (133:37 - 136:50)

   • KFC shares his appreciation for Pepper Palace’s handcrafted sauces and endorses Express for their versatile and high-quality apparel.
   • Notable Quote:
     KFC: "It's not just about hot. You got to have like the flavoring. Pepper Palace has all sorts of different flavors." [133:45]

---

Surviving Barstool Episode 1 Recap

The conversation shifts to reflect on Surviving Barstool, a show aimed at competition intertwined with content creation:

• KFC and John discuss their unexpected absence from the first episode, expressing a mix of regret and satisfaction with their performance.

• Notable Quote:
  KFC: "I think we came very close... And I think we came very close, and that, you know, it's like, what do you want to go do it again for if you know it's going to be lesser than every other time you ever do it?" [09:01]

• They delve into casting dynamics, particularly critiquing the inclusion of Mincey, whose comedic presence overshadows other talented participants.

• Notable Quote:
  KFC: "But... We are trying to reintroduce Chris to a whole new era of people. And we are trying to celebrate him in a victory lap of like, like, it's not just this dead comedian. It's this, this light that burned out too quickly." [00:54]

• The hosts highlight the challenges of balancing competition with genuine content creation, questioning the fairness of casting decisions based on comedic caricatures versus authentic talent.

---

Paul Walter Hauser Interview

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to an engaging interview with Paul Walter Hauser, covering his multifaceted career and personal growth:

1. Acting Career and Projects (05:08 - 12:32)

   • Paul Walter Hauser shares insights into his acting journey, discussing roles in films like Blackbird and his upcoming project replicating Chris Farley's legacy.
   • Notable Quote:
     Paul Walter Hauser: "I have some super size confidence, competitive streak in me that, like, I'm not saying I'm as good as anyone at all, but I'm saying I'm dying to work with DiCaprio and Denzel and those guys." [143:05]

2. Sobriety and Personal Growth (38:00 - 78:10)

   • Hauser reflects on his sobriety journey, emphasizing the importance of personal accountability and the influence of comedic heroes who faced similar struggles.
   • Notable Quote:
     Paul Walter Hauser: "I'm three years sober, too. I was very much following in the footsteps of Farley, of just like, my weight got up to £330 at one point. I was smoking weed like every other day." [142:12]

3. Wrestling and Entering Entertainment (112:15 - 172:19)

   • Hauser discusses his passion for wrestling, his participation in MLW events, and his aspirations within the industry.
   • Notable Quote:
     Paul Walter Hauser: "I would love to be a tag team champion in MLW by 2026, but also be working with Aronofsky or the Coen brothers or whoever now." [152:12]

4. Creative Aspirations and Future Projects (127:00 - 172:19)

   • Exploring his ambitions to produce and direct meaningful content, Hauser speaks about his involvement in projects like the Chris Farley biopic and his own scripted works.
   • Notable Quote:
     Paul Walter Hauser: "I'm working with your criteria here. This isn't... I didn't... I think it would go Wrestling championship number one and Oscar number two. And then maybe like spoken word or comedy Grammy number three." [150:57]

5. Philosophy and Industry Critique (156:00 - 172:19)

   • Hauser offers critical perspectives on the entertainment industry's politics, the role of middlemen, and the importance of authentic storytelling.
   • Notable Quote:
     Paul Walter Hauser: "People hate Drake so much that they're on those guys' side. That is a level of hate I did not think was even possible." [71:56]

---

Wrestling and Entertainment Industry Insights

Throughout the episode, KFC, John, and Paul Walter Hauser engage in a spirited discussion about the evolution of wrestling, comparing past eras like WWF's Attitude Era to current trends. They analyze the influence of key figures such as Vince McMahon and Eric Bischoff, and contemplate the blend of storytelling and athleticism in modern wrestling.

• Notable Quote:
  Paul Walter Hauser: "I think what's missing in wrestling today is people forgetting that the larger-than-life characters are what got us on board." [102:08]

• Additionally, the hosts touch upon the challenges actors face in balancing multiple roles, creative authenticity, and the impact of personal experiences on professional endeavors.

---

Music Industry Reflections

The conversation briefly veers into the current state of the music industry, particularly focusing on hip-hop trends, artist dynamics, and chart rankings.

• Notable Quote:
  John: "Pretty objectively it's Taylor." [50:04]

• Discussions highlight the shift in Billboard rankings, the pitting of fan bases, and the broader implications of industry decisions on artist popularity.

---

Conclusion

The episode of KFC Radio masterfully intertwines humor, candid discussions, and promotional content, offering listeners a comprehensive and entertaining experience. Through the insightful interview with Paul Walter Hauser and the reflective recap of Surviving Barstool, the hosts provide valuable perspectives on personal growth, the intricacies of the entertainment industry, and the enduring influence of comedic legends. This engaging blend ensures that both loyal listeners and new audiences find value and enjoyment in tuning into KFC Radio.

End of Summary

Transcript

[KFC]

Hey, KFC Radio listeners. You can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

For us, golf is simple. It's a chance to get out and have some fun with our friends. But inevitably, little things have a way of ruining it. The group ahead is taking forever. You can't find the fairway with a map, and the bev cart is nowhere to be found. And the best way to make a bad day better is Fireball Whiskey. You get their nips, the little shooters. They are great. Makes bad day way, way, way better. Make sure to grab the new Fireball Birdie Shot Club. It's literally a golf club filled with Fireball nips. Put it in your bag. It'll fit right in that side pocket. Drink Fireball Nips and have a great time on the golf course.

[John]

Hey, what's going on there, pal? We saw you at the hockey game on.

[KFC]

Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan. Whitney. I got a drink named after me. Not a big deal. Pink Whitney. That's what I thought. See you fellas, I invented the thing, you pigeon.

[John]

Pink Whitney for legendary moments.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I mean, we've had conversations with Spade and Sandler and Tim Meadows and those guys. And I think part of them is they're not thrilled about it because they're like, they're a little concerned about, like, is this going to be a sob fest or is this a celebration of Chris? But what I think got people on board now, including the family, is that we are trying to reintroduce Chris to a whole new era of people. And we are trying to celebrate him in a victory lap of like, like, it's not just this dead comedian. It's this, this light that burned out too quickly.

[KFC]

Jack Pocket. America's number one lottery app. Jack Pocket. All you got to do is download Jack Pocket on your phone and I, I keep showing you how easy it is. Let's see where we're at. Because we had 500 million mega millions and 200 million Powerball. Let's see, Powerball's up to 240 mega millions. 579. So we keep on going. I want my dream. I love this. I, I am obsessed with when they change the lottery rules to make these mega, mega, mega lottery jackpots. I love it. It's just crazy to me. It's just like, boom. Someone becomes a hundred millionaire. It's nuts. My dream is to have dueling $1 billion jackpots. A mega million billions and a And a Powerball billion. And like they both hit the same night and we have two billionaires like out of nowhere. They should have to change lists across the world because some jamoke bought a $2 ticket on jack pocket. And right now you can get a ticket for free when you use promo code kfc. All you got to do. So let's do as always. We're going to order, I'm going to go $2 quick pick, place, order, confirm, done. Still haven't won. It's very easy to do it. Apparently it's hard to win.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

And that's really the key is not just playing the lottery is winning the lottery.

[John]

You keep going at it.

[KFC]

I stink at that. I am top notch, one of the worst lottery losers, one of the best lottery losers in the world. Over $540 million in prizes have been paid out to Jack Pocket users. You could be one of them. Download, use promo code kfc, get your free ticket today. Could be for the mega millions, the Powerball, whatever you want. Jack Pocket, America's number one lottery app and the official partner of barstool sports gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER New York Call 877-8-HOPE NY.

[John]

Or text HOPE NY 18 or older.

[KFC]

19 + in Nebraska, 21+ in Arizona. Void where prohibited. Promo code required for two dollar non withdrawable credit. Prize amount may differ at time of drawings terms jackpocket.com to free ticket promo slash.

[Jackie]

I didn't realize you said 1111 30.

[KFC]

I we were just saying how much I that up. I should have just picked one or the other.

[Jackie]

I just assumed 11:30.

[John]

But that's, that's. Are we recording right now?

[KFC]

We are recording right now.

[John]

That's actually the smart assumption. No, but assuming 11:30 because I actually was gonna. This is. I was gonna do this on Monday show. I was gonna go hey, what time do we record the show?

[Jackie]

11:30.

[John]

There it is. Is it every night? It's either you or you are always tech.

[KFC]

No.

[John]

Are we going 11:30 tomorrow? Like we go 11:30 every day 11:30.

[Jackie]

I never say that because I always secretly hope it's earlier, but now I actually don't hope it's earlier because like.

[KFC]

Well, but here's what I do. Like, like right now 11:30 is when we have a guest. I don't like to record and then have like a gap where we do nothing.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

You know what I mean? So. But yeah, we should probably just.

[John]

It's not even like we're like. It's just what we do. It's like, we do it 11:30 every single time I need confirmation. Like, it's like. It's like getting a text on, like, Sunday. Like, hey, we're going to record it all tomorrow. Yeah, well, yeah, we record on Mondays and Wednesdays. I don't know.

[KFC]

There's always. There's more.

[John]

Yeah, no, I was surprised to get the text from you last night because I don't think you've ever done it before.

[KFC]

This operation, dude, it's.

[John]

It's always so funny. I'm always like 9 or 10 o'clock before a recording day. I'm always like, we're about to get text. 11:30 tomorrow. Yeah, that's what time we do the show every week.

[KFC]

How about Jackie's response last night?

[John]

What did you say?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Can't even see.

[John]

That was crazy. That was crazy.

[Jackie]

That was weird.

[John]

I was. I was on my couch, oddly trying to figure out how you said it, and I was laughing at myself while I just kept going, si, senor. Or that was. That's the cartoonish version or season.

[KFC]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jackie]

Like something like a gruff, like, Spanish man would say. That was how I said it.

[KFC]

Oh, man.

[John]

Understand what I did.

[Jackie]

I don't think that you can.

[KFC]

I think you got a poll.

[John]

It doesn't.

[KFC]

You're like fucking, you know, Chris Farley at the meeting, just like breaking. Breaking things. It's like a pole snap thingy.

[John]

No, no, it's like a Twitter. I don't. I honestly don't know what.

[Jackie]

To be fair. Also, though, you are always like, off to Italy or.

[KFC]

Yeah, right. You got out of order.

[John]

Yeah, I feel like, dirty every time. Yeah, no, we all do other things, but we do this at 11:30.

[KFC]

No.

[Jackie]

Okay. Next time I let you anything, next recording, you're gonna be like, wait, can we do it early?

[John]

Yeah, that's a, That's a fair text. If it's like, hey, can we do 10 tomorrow? But of course, that's a different time than we usually do. We usually do 11:30.

[KFC]

All right, well, it's another edition of KFC Radio at 11:30. A Monday morning. Surviving Bar stool kicked off last night. A couple. A couple things. First of all, I. I don't know about you. I've been, I. I've been getting asked a lot if why we were not on it and we were just not invited. And it's being posed to me. Like, why isn't. Why didn't KFC go? He doesn't do anything. He's like, I would have been there. So I just want that out there. I Don't know if you're getting that, but I get a lot of, like, I don't know.

[John]

But we, yeah, we weren't invited. Yeah. But I also, like, I, I, I don't. We did it. Like, you don't have it.

[KFC]

Yeah, I'm very. This lot of repeats and we weren't in it.

[John]

I think this ended up being weird where, like, I think the original cast was only almost entirely different except Dave and Dan and Will, the winner. And then I think so many people dropped out that they ended up pulling people back in. Yeah, but I, Yeah, we weren't.

[KFC]

I would have been there. We're not there.

[John]

I also, I saw a clip. This is back when I think they were talking about cast members. I saw a clip of Dave on Name show and they were like, how are you picking people? Or whatever. And he was like, we want new people or we want crazy people. And he specifically said, he was like, john and Kevin just aren't crazy. And I was like, that's worth 250k125. Dave thinks I'm sane and reasonable. Perfect.

[KFC]

That's a good point. But I don't know. I've somehow got like after the, the Chicago Combine, where all of a sudden people are like, you. You don't, you don't do anything anymore. You don't say yes to anything. It's like I've done everything at bars for 15 God. Things that I hated, I did all the time. So somehow it became this, you know, why aren't you there? You should be there. You don't do anything. Like, I would have been.

[John]

It would have been fun. I wouldn't have won. But, like, it wasn't fun.

[KFC]

Well, part, part of it also. I mean, a. I coming out of that, I was like, I never want to do that again, you know, so I'm okay with.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

And, and just from what I think we can. We know we're going to see. I'm happy with that was.

[John]

I don't know what I would have done this time because, like, I can't run my same game.

[KFC]

So my thing is, like, I don't think we ever would get as close as we like. I think that was our best. Our best.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah.

[KFC]

And I think we came very close and that, you know, it's like, what do you want to go do it again for if you know it's going to be lesser than every other time you ever do it?

[John]

Right.

[KFC]

Maybe like down the road if it happens again? And like, there's been years in between but it's like, we were right there to the final, and then if you. You know, if you were, like, 18th this time, I'd be like, that sucked.

[John]

Well, that's funny. Watching the last nights I saw Caleb, I was like, there's a world in which, like, the way I played Survivor the first time, there's a world in which that happened to me. Yeah.

[KFC]

Like, yeah, we just got the boot right.

[John]

I was just like, I. I wasn't as. Like, I don't think as, like, my. My goal was don't do anything.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[John]

Caleb was, like, laughing about, like, I don't care about this. I was like, just be quiet.

[Jackie]

Caleb was also hard to read. So I think, like, everyone was like, you. You're just like, yeah, I'll do whatever you say. Caleb's like, maybe I'll do what you said.

[KFC]

I don't know.

[John]

Yeah. My strategy was be useful. Caleb's was be a cog in the wheel.

[Jackie]

He was, like, actively trying, like, everything he did. I was like, why would you do that?

[KFC]

I mean, he was like. He was like his character, you know, like Sunday conversation in a video, in a reality show.

[John]

There were so many really funny. It's actually funny because I obviously don't watch a lot of reality tv, and when it started, I was like, this fucking sucks. Like, it was, like, 15 minutes of introductions, and obviously that's boring to me because I fucking know everybody, but there's a million people watching who have never seen anyone, so you have to do those instructions. But I was like, oh, my God. Get to the fucking. I was just home alone. Like, this is nuts. And then I started to understand storytelling and all that stuff. And. And then once it. Once it really got going, I was like, oh, this is really good, man. But. And there were, like, a lot of clips that made me laugh out loud, but one of them was Caleb talking about his alliances because he. He was just like, I got an alliance with White Sox, Dave and Arian, and I got a White Sox. I got an alliance with Ria. I got an alliance with. He's like. He's, like, counting off his legs, I think. I think Dave's the only person I don't have an alliance with. They were. They were. It was. So when you have an alliance with.

[KFC]

Everybody, you have an alliance with nobody, really.

[John]

Right. Like, honestly, a really interesting. It's not interesting, but it is interesting. A cool part of it is, like, these stories unfolding as. Again, it's something to me that I obviously know and don't really think about. Often. But it's so crazy when they're going to confessionals and it's like Biz being like, yeah, I'm pretty good with a stick. I played in the NHL for 10 years. And then. And then it cuts to fucking Jerry. And I would have liked it less if it was fast cuts. This is always over the hour and a half. But then there's, you know, later, later, Jerry's like, I'm pretty good at picking lax. I was a crack at it. And then like 10 minutes later, they're yelling at Wallow. Like, while I was in jail for 20 years, I have the biggest contract in NFL lineman history. Like, the collection of people is crazy.

[KFC]

It is great. That is the. That's the appeal of barstool. But this, that's like. This is like a condensed, like, hyperized.

[John]

Version of it all.

[Jackie]

The shot of Gilly after he said that, where it's just like, what you smoke in the face.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

My favorite.

[John]

I've been blowing gas. It's just him rolling on ground. Go.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Wow.

[KFC]

Was in jail's.

[Jackie]

Like, he didn't.

[John]

Those two are great.

[KFC]

I love when he was like. He was like. I thought. I mean, I. I guess I should have seen it come. He was like, my connection with my cousin means absolutely nothing. Means everything to me. We are thick as thieves.

[John]

It's like he.

[KFC]

I don't give a fuck about it. That's great.

[John]

Wallow and Gilly, very often, that's the joke they make, is that while I was in jail, he'll fuck a guy. And very often time, dude, I will cackle with laughter. Like every. Like, it's like avid Costello, just, like throwing like a fastball. And he's just like, while I was in jail. Watch out, he'll fuck you, Robbie. Shut up, Gilly.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Shut up.

[KFC]

Don't sleep on your stomach. Don't sleep on your stomach.

[John]

Oh, my gosh. Like, this is brilliant.

[KFC]

So, I mean, two things that. That I thought was. Was funny. You know when. When if you're playing Survivor and you say something, what was the exact quote from Smitty? Like, it's so unspoken.

[John]

It was like, it's so. It's. It's so unspoken. Like, I think we've literally not spoken it. Yeah, it was something like that. About why they were voting. Yeah. There was two moments that I knew Smitty was fucked.

[KFC]

Was. First of all, when everyone else's light bulb went off, they were like, there's eight people in seven beds. And everybody was like, oh, shit, somebody's going home. Like, before Even the first night. And Smitty was like, I'll sleep on the floor. Yeah, I'll sleep on a chair. I'm good, man. That's not what's happening here.

[John]

I like, I really forget a bed, dude. Imagine that.

[KFC]

They're like, oh, production up.

[John]

I really don't know anything about this season because I don't want to spoil anything. And like, so I didn't know that, that Smitty got voted off last night. And I was like, oh. Because I was so confident, I believed him. He says it throughout the whole episode. He's like, mincey's a sacrificial lamb, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, yeah, that makes sense. And then he was not, he was not.

[KFC]

I mean, after everything that unfolded too, it's a tough one. It's like, okay, yeah. It's like we're, you know, it's like time travel. We're watching this all in reverse now.

[John]

It's like, oh, okay.

[KFC]

The other thing was Nicky smokes his tweet, which was pretty, it was pretty, pretty direct. Being like, it makes me, he said something like, it makes me sick. Like, I want to puke that Mince was the, the replacement for Brie and you know, intimating that. Yeah, I know, you know, he qualified it. I know my place of the company. I know how little I moved the needle compared to the rest of surviving Barcelo cast. But me being cut and seeing Mincey as breeze replacement is actually a joke. Didn't have to be me. I could name five other employees who would have changed the, change the game. That's gonna be a thing.

[John]

I don't know that I could have named five other. I, I could, I don't know who or five employees who changed the game. I, I, I don't think Mincey should have been in it. I think we should obviously stop rewarding Mincy for.

[KFC]

Well, but, but his, like, it's what we talked about yesterday, though. It's like surviving Barstow is a weird thing. It's like, is it, are you really playing to win? And are we putting out a challenge or are we making content? It's some weird hybrid that I would say is like 70 real, 30 content.

[John]

Yeah, right.

[KFC]

Maybe a little more.

[John]

I would, I would. Yeah. I think, I think the formula is different for everybody. My formula, I would say, is probably more.

[KFC]

What do you mean? Like, you personally going into it. Yeah, I'm saying on the whole, though, like, it's not a joke. We're competing, we're trying. It's real but there is some level of like, we should keep the funny guy. We should do this.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

It's never like manipulated. I don't want that. That's not what I'm saying. But I'm saying like, there is an element of like, I don't know, I.

[John]

Don'T think during, when we were playing, I don't think I ever didn't vote someone or vote someone content based. That was real. That was one thing. Real the whole time.

[KFC]

Correct. But I can also see the like logic or thought behind like, is this guy a better competitor and like, does he care more? Or like it's going to be hilarious when Mincy's doesn't know how to write with a pen. You know what I mean?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah, yeah.

[KFC]

In terms of casting.

[John]

Okay, Casting, voting booth casting. Yeah.

[KFC]

Like the game itself is, is very real, but the overall production of like, who's in it and the games we play and some of the stuff is going to be geared towards like, let's make put this person in a compromise position, you know. So like in that sense, like Smokes is a young dude, he's pretty athletic. He probably, you know, he needs the money. He would go balls to the wall. You just don't look as funny as Mincy crammed into a size small T shirt. You know, like, and that's not fair. That's not fair. But it's like, you know, them's the breaks. It's like, it's, it's almost like comedy in general too. It's like, I don't know, like it's funny though.

[John]

He looks funny, he sounds funny.

[KFC]

He has a funny voice and everything about him is funny. And you could be over here, my vote here, like you could, you could write a million jokes and bust your ass to be as funny as you could possibly be. And it's not as funny as Mincey just walking in a room like, right. Like, that's just all he has to do. My shirt's too small, my voice is funny. And I don't know even like, I don't know. I don't know anything about the world. I don't know anything. Should I just say my vote out loud? No. Like, bro, no. Like that you cannot.

[John]

That's how mince on November 5 was.

[KFC]

That.

[John]

Walked out, walked out, smoked a cigarette, like, got that one. He's.

[KFC]

I declared bankruptcy in a real life human, you know, so I get what he's saying. And you know, there are five other employees that fit the other version of surviving contestants. But Mincy is like One of a kind. Now it's for better or worse. Like, it's unfair. It's worse. We're rewarding, like, this ridiculous. You know, we did that last episode. But I totally get it, you know, I mean, I like, if you said to Dave, like, do you want for almost any content that's like, you know, do you want, like a normal, like, straight guy who, like, you know, Smokes is funny, but he's just like, I gamble and I. You know, all that shit versus, like, this caricature of a human. I think it's gonna be the cartoon character every fucking time.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

So it sucks for, you know, the people who are probably right if you. If you're on the list, right beneath Mincy, where you would have gotten the nod. I get it. It sucks. But it's also like, bro, that's going to happen every time.

[John]

I don't know.

[KFC]

You got to figure out a way around it because Mincey ain't going anywhere, apparently.

[John]

I don't know the. But I also, like, again, while I agree with Smokes overall point, like, we should stop rewarding ineptitude, I don't know five other people who would, like, change the game.

[KFC]

Yeah, well, there's also. Because there's like, not many left. There's a thousand people in. When I saw that picture, it was row after row after row of employees. It was like the whole. I mean, look at that. There's not five people left.

[John]

It's like us four.

[KFC]

And that's it. I mean, like, they're, you know. Let's see the foreplay. Guys have not done it yet, right?

[John]

No foreplay.

[KFC]

I think Riggs would be a maniac. Riggs would be good.

[John]

PFP would obviously be pretty good.

[KFC]

PF he did it before.

[John]

Yeah. But he.

[KFC]

Okay, okay. I think. I think some people are upset. Brandon Walker. I've heard. I've seen some chatter that B. Walker got snubbed.

[John]

Brandon Walker, I could see that because he.

[KFC]

You know what I really, really, really like about Brandon Walker? Nothing. But if I had to pick something about him, he tries hard at everything. Like, he does not mail in a single fucking thing.

[John]

He's also very. Like, we actually. I think we're going to have Paul Walter Hauser on this interview today. And I mentioned to him, like, a lot of people who I find most entertaining are people who grew up wrestling. And, like, Pat's brand new.

[KFC]

I mean, he. Yes, he. He. He brings the wrestling vibe to. To it. But he also, like, he just knew when he got the nod that it was Like a life, you know, altering opportunity and like ran with it.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Actually, I don't, I can't say. Maybe, maybe he's mailer than these days. I don't know. But I know in the beginning he was really going after it. He would take surviving very, very seriously.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

So that arguably too seriously.

[John]

Yeah, yeah.

[KFC]

And, and he also like clashes with Dave and like that to the point that that would have been if those two had to be on the same team or if, or if they had to vote each other out. If Brandon Walker led like a charge voting Dave out or vice. You know what I mean? That, so that's maybe one person, but I don't know about five. You're right.

[John]

I just did. Just Pat. Pat. Pat probably would be an interesting member.

[KFC]

Pat's done a lot of the other ones too.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

But yeah, that's, that's, that's the bomb squad. Right? Business pictures. Unbelievable. Tommy John, hands down the most comfortable lounge pants that I have and underwear that I have.

[John]

Yes.

[KFC]

And I'll tell you what, when I'm wearing the lounge band, sometimes I don't.

[John]

Put the underwear on really comfortable.

[KFC]

They got the breathable, stretchable fabric. The, the, the boxers are like the only, a lot of the high end boxers that don't have the fly is crazy, you know?

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

And Tommy John was like, we're going to give you the soft material. It's going to be the comfortable waistband. It's going to be all high end and then you get a fly. It's like perfect. So this holiday season, perfect for stocking stuffers. It's perfect for the guy that you don't know what to get. It's a much appreciated gift. Anytime you get it, you get, you know, comfortable underwear. You get some lounge pants, you get things that it's like, that's stuff that I'm never going to buy. And bam. Christmas rolls around and I have a whole bunch for myself. They have 20 million pairs of underwear sold. That's crazy. It's a lot of underwear, man. That's 40 million balls.

[John]

It's a lot.

[KFC]

It's a lot. Thousands of 5 star reviews and it's a great gift giving holiday tradition. So great days begin with great underwear. That's a great tagline, man. If you, if, when, when you are down to like your last underwear and it's a bad day, they don't fit or they're old or whatever, you're like.

[John]

No, this is going to suck when I know the underwear I have. Tommy John, when I put it On. I'm like, this is not. I'm not. I'll be honest. I'm not like, overselling. I'm not like, this is going to be a great day. But for that moment in time, I'm like, this is a good start.

[KFC]

It's not. It won't be a bad day without.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah.

[KFC]

Guarantee that. So go to tommyjohn.comkfc for the holidays. Get 30% off site wide. Shout out to them for going. 30%. That's a good. That's a good sale. Tommyjohn.comkfc so we didn't really talk about the fact that biz has uncovered, like, this illegal ring of gypsies. And the guy whistleblower from. From ca, Whistleblower from California, the Twitter account. So the guys that biz fought. Oh, I should just say beat up. I don't even know if, like, you know, they. They got any in on him. I guess took some game.

[John]

I was gonna say. I will say this. I don't think we spoke about this at all. It was a much more badass story before the mug shots came out. I thought it was.

[KFC]

I thought it was like, young college guys, like athletes who were drunk. I mean, he beat up a bunch of, like, senior citizens. I mean, no, six on one is still six on one.

[John]

I'm also very much kidding because the. The video that got released. Yeah, the one of them, like, hitting the.

[KFC]

The golf. From the golf club.

[John]

From the golf club where he's like, swinging on, like, chicks.

[KFC]

Yeah, that was crazy, dude.

[John]

Arguably, like, the toughest thing you can do is swing on chicks in public. If I see someone swinging on chicks, I'm like, that dude is a. Yeah.

[KFC]

Well, that's what these guys are. These people are like absolute pieces of dude. The Irish travelers, they're. They're legit a. Like a. A gypsy culture that they just make a living scamming people to. From. From. From. Yeah, like crazy. Just, like, be thrown, like, full punches while girls are right there is fucking nuts.

[John]

Punching guys. Oh, this guy's nuts.

[KFC]

So, yeah, actually, I, you know, despite the fact that some of those other guys were old men, this.

[John]

You. You gotta have a screw loose for sure.

[KFC]

These guys, though, are like their main. Their main. Their main scam is they just like hire you get hired to. To. For them to do your. You hire them to do their. Your driveway and they just do a shitty job and run away with your money. Yeah, that's like their main scam is people. People give them like nine grand and then they just like, roll out some tar and they just bounce. But there was also. They also take out, like, insurance policies on old people and kill them.

[John]

Really?

[KFC]

Like, there was one story about, like, a old woman who, like, they, you know, got a policy out on her, and then we're, like, trying to, like, hire someone to murder her. And then there's just like, regular, you know, shitty stuff. Like the. One of the. One of these guys wives. Just, like. There's a video of her just beating the. Wailing on her kid and then wearing a T shirt with a screenshot of the video of her beating her kid.

[John]

Really?

[KFC]

There's a picture of her, like, proudly, like, dude wearing it. That's another thing we, like, crazy.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

You're.

[John]

I don't want to fucking tussle with you.

[KFC]

Right. Well, that's the thing. This guy, the whistleblower, I don't know. I don't know what. What his deal is. He either has been wronged by the Irish travelers or just is, like, a fucking righteous dude who, like, wants to do right in the world.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

He is like. Like, I almost. I was gonna make a video about it, and I was like, I don't think I want smoke with the Irish Travelers. I just don't want to get into, like, legally what I can and can't say. And I don't need these guys, like, in my DMs. Yeah, they're, like, going after him. They're trying to get his account suspended. They're. They're like, closing ranks because they are, like, being exposed as this family, an extended family of, like, shitty gypsy criminal scumbags. So not only did Biz obviously just, like, you know, you save the. The restaurant managers and. But, like, might have exposed this cult ring of criminals in, like, upstate New York or some.

[John]

Did you see the clip of him in Martian before the game?

[KFC]

Yeah. So good. That's. I mean, that's. That's. That's what biz. Like, biz is invaluable to the NFL, to NHL. I hope he's getting a bag from them. It's all relative because a bag from them is probably, like, 75 grand. But, like, he is bringing that kind of stuff. Like, that is a game changer because those virus, those moments go viral and, like, the players love it. The league.

[John]

I said it. When he first got the TNT job. I can see a world in which, like, in 20 years, we're talking about how Paul Bisson. That is, like, one of the most important things that happens to the NHL.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[John]

Now, I do think the NHL has the biggest problem in the history of the world, which is just the fact that the highlights do not translate to vertical video. And you can't top. You can't get over that. Like, the highlights do not work on vertical.

[KFC]

Really.

[John]

There's just.

[KFC]

It's because it's just like. You can't see the.

[John]

You can't. There's too much. There's too much horizontal movement, and it just doesn't.

[KFC]

Wow. I never thought about that. That's a very specific thing.

[John]

I've noticed it now for a few years, and I'm like, this is going to be a problem.

[KFC]

And they can't, like, zoom in. Because you would think basketball is kind of the same, no?

[John]

Yeah, but I guess basketball once. Once the ball at least leaves your hand, it's easier to follow. Yeah, you can't follow the puck once it's shot anyway. Like, when you're watching a hockey game, there is always three angles they show, and one does you. You never see the puck, but that's the closeup, and you can't get that. Like, even last night with the Bruins game, like, Zov had just, like, a missile shot. And I wanted to show and be like, oh, this is what Zod's good at.

[KFC]

Can't do it.

[John]

You can't come.

[KFC]

You can't see it.

[John]

It's not. It's gonna be a problem. It's gonna be a problem. I don't know.

[KFC]

We'll see if Biz can overcome that one. He can take on the Gypsies. Maybe he can take on vertical videos, too.

[John]

We'll see.

[KFC]

So what else? I mean, I guess we'll. We'll do the. Keep it with barstool and then. And then do the rest of the.

[John]

Yeah. The one. One thing. The. From surviving Dave at the end. It sounds so funny, but also, like, because I. I think I aligned 100 with Dave on this. I'm like, there is something to it. When he. At the. He thought he might be going home, so he's. He's looking for an idol and he's, like, kind of looking and he's kind of just, like, moving stuff. And he's like, I'm just not a looker. I'm not a looker. I'm not. I'm not good at looking. I wasn't born to look. And, like, it is such a thing where it's just like, we'll just look and then you're a good looker and like, no, it's not. I can't.

[KFC]

I can't.

[Jackie]

There's also said he was a good looker, and then he found two.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

No, well, there is.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

No, I think there's good lookers and bad look. Yeah, for sure.

[John]

I looked for literally zero seconds on our season. I didn't.

[KFC]

But also, there's something like. There's. There's a. There's also, like, a physical. Like, there's a reason why you can open up the fridge and be like, ah, we don't have any milk. And then, like, your mom would be like, it's right there.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Like, there's. I used to call it, like, refrigerator vision right in front of my face. It happens to me all the time with just everything. Where's my. I can't find my wall. I really think my. My brain, like, puts a different picture in front of my face. You know what I mean? It's like, I swear to God, I looked there and it wasn't fucking there. So I think there's something to be said for that. But I mean, yeah, if you say you're a good looker, then you go find two. You. I mean, that's. You're a fucking looker.

[Jackie]

You're a great looker Also, Rico, if you're gonna do the fake idols, you have to actually put an idol so that they think that they have an idol.

[KFC]

A clue that leads to nothing means.

[Jackie]

Absolutely nothing, and it just makes people suspicious about you.

[KFC]

But then he goes, I just want to be an agent of chaos. I cannot stop watching him blink.

[John]

Now, I still haven't noticed it. I.

[KFC]

Not as extreme as that one clip, but, like, he's always just like, I want to be an agent of chaos, and there's a lot of agent chaos, but I want to be an agent.

[John]

Oh, my God.

[KFC]

Your eyeballs got to be dying.

[John]

The clip where he was like. He's like, I'm not taking my meds, and then shows his highlight reel, and it cuts back to him going, I'm.

[KFC]

Going to take my meds.

[John]

So funny. There's so many, like, such funny.

[KFC]

Great at it, man. I do not. I do not understand. Here's a question. Do you think that there's, like, hours and hours and hours of footage that they just don't look at, or do you think they go through it all as an editor yourself? Like, it just seems impossible to me. 24 people out, 24 hours, cameraman everywhere. And then you got to sit down and make a video. That is crazy to me. I would be like, this is good enough. There's 20, like, 36 more hours I didn't look at.

[John]

Yeah, whatever.

[KFC]

I mean, there's a lot of footage that's definitely been unseen, but I know that there's definitely people taking notes, being like. You don't think they miss anything? They mark it on the camera where it's like that moment happened. That moment. Okay. Because to me it's like there's no possible way you go all through that. But what if you miss like the funniest moment? But I guess if you have someone always like ready to be like, here it is, here it is, here it is. Yeah. I guess they have a system for this.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Makes sense. Makes sense.

[Jackie]

I can't help but notice that you didn't ask me as an editor, just one side.

[KFC]

You go through the whole thing. I know you do.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

You complain about it incessantly. Yeah.

[John]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

But like I me getting up the video yesterday. I mean like, I couldn't even like. See, I was like so drunk.

[John]

The. I was. We did so. We did boot. Can't sleep Monday night. Yeah, And I didn't realize because you didn't drink a lot. At least it didn't seem like it.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[John]

And then. But then we did it from like 10pm I don't remember memory class when Bri got there. And like, was it bad?

[Jackie]

Was it bad?

[John]

Bri got there? Probably like one. One. No, it wasn't bad. All I noticed was your laugh.

[KFC]

Oh, the dragon laugh thing.

[John]

When I did this last time, I turned it off cuz we recorded 11:30. The. The. No, it was the dragon left you. You like. You're like.

[Jackie]

Yeah, it's a little cuter than that.

[John]

No, it's pretty spot on.

[KFC]

It sounds like someone. It sounds like someone has hit you in the throat.

[Jackie]

Wait, I didn't notice. Know that when you did the black. The sound of the black hole.

[KFC]

That is you.

[Jackie]

That actually was me edited to the.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yes.

[Jackie]

Oh. I was like, that sounds a lot like me.

[KFC]

Yeah, it was like the. The. It said NASA has figured out what the inside of a black hole might sound like. And I press play. And it was just kind of like a. Almost like a sonogram. I was like, I. Like that's not good enough. That's just put in there. You sound like Grape Lady. You know that. That viral video.

[John]

Yeah, I was going to say a donkey who got the wind knocked out of it, but like Grape Lady.

[KFC]

One of the very first viral videos. The woman stomping grapes. You don't know this? Pull up Grape Lady. Grape lady is. I don't know if it like, I don't know if it'll resonate with, like, the younger generation. So much content. This was the funniest thing in the world for, like 10 years. This is what you sound like. Just so you know.

[John]

That's you laughing.

[KFC]

That's your laugh. That's. That's your cute laugh.

[John]

But when we left that, like, I left it too. And Jackie was like, I gotta go edit the podcast out. I was like, I had heard that laughter for a little bit, and I was like, that podcast not getting up.

[KFC]

In the morning.

[John]

But I woke up next morning, it was already up. So you crush that gangster.

[KFC]

Yeah, that. That MOOC stream is a problem, man.

[John]

Dude, that's dangerous. It was very, very fun.

[Jackie]

It was so fun.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[John]

Mook, we're doing shows together in Austin December 14th. Get tickets. We just announced it today. Like, it's in two weeks. But go with Nick. Nick T, Chris Bader, me, Mook are going to do some shows. It'll be fun.

[KFC]

Look at the boy down in Austin, Texas, doing comedy.

[John]

Holy Rogan.

[KFC]

Next up.

[John]

Oh, my God. Call me Joe.

[KFC]

The I legit think finalberg would turn down Joe Rogan. Say, no, I don't. And he'd be like, why do you want to. We can talk for three hours right now.

[John]

Simulation me the. But yeah, Mo can't stream. Mo can't sleep was a lot of fun.

[KFC]

He went, Peyton, Peyton.

[John]

Bullying him.

[KFC]

Dude, Peyton has. I mean, she.

[John]

He's put.

[KFC]

She's put that kid in his back pocket for, like, years now.

[John]

She was like, shut up. This is my show. Like. Like to the point where Mook was.

[Jackie]

Like, that was the nicest thing.

[John]

I think Brianna was like, she just doesn't go, you have a crush. And she's like, no, I want to be very clear. She's like, I think he's a weak man.

[KFC]

It's crazy.

[Jackie]

She said he has a ginger box.

[John]

Like, oh, you think he's a vagina box, yo?

[KFC]

Yeah, she scares me.

[John]

She's one not to with you get.

[KFC]

On the wrong side of Peyton. When did that start? Why did that start?

[Jackie]

Because of the takedown.

[KFC]

Why did she take him down?

[John]

No, the takedown was second. The coffee was first.

[KFC]

The coffee? Yeah.

[John]

Remember we talked about on the show, he was walking. They never met. He was walking in with the coffee, and she kept showing a gay little coffee with whipped cream and a straw. And then she's like. And they was walking by the street and she laughed out loud at him.

[KFC]

Did she know who he was at that point?

[John]

Yeah, he Worried me. He's like. She's like, what the was that? She's like, you're just a weak little man.

[KFC]

The takedown was unbelievable. The takedown was nuts. It was like. It was like a. Like a wrestling clothesline. Like, jump on him. That's unbelievable. And then, to round out the rest of the barstool universe, Rowan's having twins. Twin boys.

[John]

And I've known about it for months.

[KFC]

Really?

[John]

The secret I've known about for two.

[Jackie]

Weeks and kept it a secret.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Rome.

[John]

But Rome didn't even tell me. Rome doesn't even know I knew.

[KFC]

How'd you know?

[John]

Because I'm old. The. We were out at Omakase. Like, they weren't. She wasn't drinking two months ago. No, I was. I wasn't. She wasn't even there. But we.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

They.

[John]

They had gotten back from Japan recently, and Rowan was like, I don't know why I didn't get omakasi in Japan. I was like, you can get omakasi in Japan. What the wrong with you? Like, it's like sushi. Like, like, you sit at a bar, and it's like, like one of the time kind of deal. And he's like, yeah, Allison wasn't eating shellfish at the time. I didn't make a big deal on it. We just kept it moving. But I was, like, pregnant.

[Jackie]

That's kind of like a woman sense of, like, figuring.

[KFC]

Yeah, I'm surprised you would. I. I did this with a few of my friends when. When Shay was first coming along, and, like, nobody. None of, like, the. More on friends. I had noticed that Kayla wasn't drinking and we were drinkers. I was like, how the. Did none of you know this? Like, everything you want to drink?

[John]

No, no.

[KFC]

Like that. Right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Right.

[KFC]

There should have been like, she's pregnant.

[John]

I, I. I'm used to that, though. Like, I honestly, I think a drinking I wouldn't catch because I'd be like, chicks can't drink. But I was like, a woman didn't eat sushi. She must be pregnant.

[KFC]

Twins is crazy, man. Twins is. The. The good thing is when you have twins first, you know nothing else.

[John]

Yeah, right.

[KFC]

You go from zero to kids, whether it's one kid or two kids. You go from no kids to kids. If you have a kid, if you're one and then you have twins, I would probably put a bullet. There is no way you can, like, be like, I'm gonna have to do that again, but twice as hard. That's. That's like, hey, you got to go Back to war. Except, like, this time, just double the enemies and, like, less the guns. This is impossible.

[John]

That was World War II. Like, yeah, you gotta go back to war, only this time it's Hitler.

[KFC]

Yes. Having twins is like World War II. Like the World War I vets going, like, what do we do the first one for? That is crazy, bro. Imagine. Imagine calling it the war to end all wars. And then like 17 years later, like, we didn't even last at all. We had another one right away. In the grand scheme of things, right.

[Jackie]

A away, I kind of feel like it's like a two for, like, I guess I'm a woman. So, like, my body being pregnant for nine months versus.

[KFC]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That part's good. That part is good. Especially if you can get real lucky and you have fraternal twins. You have a boy and a girl. Yeah, it's like, boom, we're done. But then the rest of it sucks. Yeah.

[John]

My three best friends, their mom first.

[KFC]

Had twins and then a year and a half later had triplets.

[John]

Could you imagine?

[KFC]

The only thing crazier five is, is.

[John]

When wins then triplets.

[KFC]

Five kids in a year and a half. That is. That is crazy. The only thing crazier than that is. Charlie Wisco, old school KFC radio producer. His. His parents had four kids and they wanted like one more. And they think. I think they got triplets. Oh, twins or triplets. But either it went from four to six or four to seven.

[John]

Dude, if you.

[KFC]

If you said that his dad was like, like, like catatonic.

[John]

Just like, like, you should get government money. You really should if you're trying.

[KFC]

I don't know how they do it. I really don't know how they do it.

[John]

If you have. If you're trying for a kid and you accidentally have three kids, they should help you go. We should help you. Like, dude, that's not your fault.

[KFC]

The worst part is, the worst thing is triplets. Because if you go four and up, you get on Oprah and like that, you go viral.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

You get like, Pampers gives you a free diapers for life. Triplets is just normal enough that it's like, like, you are.

[John]

I mean, like, I. Yeah, I saved up for a kid. I can afford one kid through college. I have three now.

[Jackie]

Did you see that the United Health Care.

[KFC]

Yeah. Crazy.

[Jackie]

Just got shot.

[John]

I heard.

[KFC]

I did find out he's not like the main CEO that I thought was. There's like eight. Eight other CEOs, which makes a little more sense because I was like eight CEOs. Yeah, there's, like. Because it's. I mean, such a big company, there's, like, divisions, and, like, I'm the CEO of this division. You're the CEO of that division. Like, the main. Main guy I don't think is walking, like, anywhere ever. Because it's a $500 billion company who. It's half a trillion dollars. So I. When I thought. I thought, like, he was like, the. And I should have known. 50 years old is pretty young for any of this, but I thought that it was like, the head of United Healthcare just got blanked now. I mean, it's still a very big deal. Like, I don't want to take anything away from it, but it's not the head of the head of the head. But this is some movie.

[John]

What's happening?

[KFC]

So he was getting. He was going into the hotel at 6:45 in the morning. He got there early to prepare for his. His presentation to the annual investors. And so, like, the guy knew to be there early, and he knew the door he was walking in, and he had a silencer. So that's like, somebody. I believe. I don't. I know the other two. I don't know for sure about the silencer, but I did. See, that's the big one. Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah.

[KFC]

But I don't know. I think, like, knowing where these guys are at, you know, like, if he got there early, and I'm sure he was just, like, going through. I don't think he was, like, walking through the front door and some guy's just like, pow. But it sounds like, to me, that's. I don't know if I'm. I mean, I'm literally watching the day. The Day of the Jackal, which is, like, about assassins.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah.

[KFC]

So maybe a little bit dramatic right now, but that feels like somebody being like, he's gonna be here at this time, like, go do it. Whether it's, you know, an inside job or whatever. But he just boom, boom, boom. And then hopped on a bike. Gone. They don't have them. They were, like, the only thing they had was that he had a cream jacket and a gray backpack, and that was, like, it. He had a mask on. Otherwise, like, see you later. Aura frames are the perfect holiday gift for grandparents, for regular parents, for anybody that is decorating wants to put pictures up on their wall. It's the new school way to make sure that you share all your family pictures, and you can have it right there on display for everyone to see. It's a digital picture frame that gets connected to anybody's phone via an app. So if you're taking pictures of your kids, it gets uploaded right to the, to the, to the picture frame you want to send them to grandma and grandpa. Bam. New pictures uploaded right away. It's a sleek looking frame so it looks, you know, classy. And then rather than just having a regular picture in there, you got the digital screen so you can upload unlimited photos and videos so you can have a little video on loop, you can have a slideshow so that you stay in contact and in touch and still see your family and your loved ones all through the holidays. You can pre order a frame online and have it come with pictures already uploaded to it. So you can give it to, you know, your mom, your dad, grandparents, whoever. And it already has all the pictures of the kids and everything, the dogs, whatever, already loaded on it. So that way you're not giving just an empty frame to somebody. Download the Aura app and it's ready to use right out of the box. So it's the perfect gift. And you can get [e-mail] and you'll get 35 bucks off their best selling frame, which is the Carver matte frame. So that's Aura Frames A U R A frames.com promo code KFC. Get 35 bucks off the best selling frame today. This is exclusive to our podcast, so use that promo code kfc. Get it in time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply. Jaguar is just Bud Light 2.0 in themselves right now. Brutal. We'll see you later. This company is cooked, dude.

[John]

They did that first of all. When like has Jaguar not been cooked? Like, I don't know.

[KFC]

Yeah, yeah.

[John]

But I think my like neighbor when I was a kid had a Jaguar. That's about it.

[KFC]

Yeah, they did this, this weird commercial thing that everybody got all upset about and then they're.

[John]

Why are people get mad about it? What's. Because I still haven't seen it.

[KFC]

It's woke, John.

[John]

But why is it woke?

[KFC]

It's very like androgynous and non binary and all that shit. And then the brand strategist, the head of the brand strategy got up at like their keynote and like that was.

[John]

Like any commercial to me.

[KFC]

All he talked about was like gender inclusive bathrooms. And I was like, what does this have to do with sports cars, man? Like, I don't know, it's. It seemed like the, whether you, whether it's right or wrong or you think it's like, you know, good for like the right thing to do and good for the people on that, it's like, this is gonna go badly.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

We saw what happens when, you know.

[John]

Bud Light, I think is a little different than Jaguar. Like, I don't think a bunch of people being like, I'm buying a Jaguar because of this. It's like, all right, well.

[KFC]

But yeah, that's what I mean though, is kind of like Bud Light was already like, you know, Bud Lights kind of just like a low level beer. You know what I mean?

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

I feel like this does. That does not appeal to like, I don't think the rich man of the world.

[John]

I just don't know what a judge.

[KFC]

You know, if you're trying to get people. If you're a sports car brand, I don't think, you know, I think most.

[John]

People who have a Jaguar have no idea about any of this.

[KFC]

That's probably true.

[John]

People who drive Jaguars probably aren't heavy Twitter users.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[John]

Like, dude, you're fucking by wearing. Driving a Jag. They had that bald chicken and commercial.

[KFC]

What?

[John]

Dude, you never know.

[KFC]

I mean, everything's so politicized now. It's like that. Remember that there's that video that dickhead who bought at the Taylor Swift guitar at the auction.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Broke it. It's like, bro, what are you even. What is going on here? How is your rap? Is Taylor your number one?

[John]

Taylor number one? Taylor was Marco Bear's number one song. That Gonna Be Me was my number one song.

[KFC]

I think there's a chance I am the number one listener to OMG on the planet Earth. I think there's a real chance I was in the top.005%.005. I think it gets lower. I guess there's one.001. But the Mets song got it. And I was really thinking about it. Like, I don't think even like the clubhouse listen to it as much as I listen to it. Between how much I liked it, how much I was watching the Mets, and then how much my kids liked it. Because my kids basically dictate my Spotify wrapped at this point. I was like, there might be a chance I'm in number one on the planet. You got to assume that it comes from the Mets fan base or the Mets themselves. Right. So it's already a pretty small pool.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Like, and I'm in that. I'm heavy in that. There's a real chance I'm the number one person on the planet. Because it was like, it wasn't that many, but it's only completions. You know what I mean? The amount of times That I listened to it. Maybe not fully through way.

[John]

Way. Yeah.

[KFC]

Even reported. So what reported was 0.05%. I feel like I might be the highest in the world, but Taylor was. Was my number one this year, too.

[John]

Really?

[KFC]

Yep. She's taking over.

[John]

Did you get the message from her?

[KFC]

Yep. Yeah, but I. But I was like, yeah, seems like everyone.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I think if you listen to, like.

[KFC]

Taylor Swift song, you got the message.

[John]

Just checking. Just check.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I was watching that.

[John]

I was like, all right, this is probably what. To a lot of people, but.

[KFC]

Oh, man. Maybe I think I was in, like, the top 34% of listeners, and I got that, bro.

[John]

See that? I. I was. I was top. I was top 3% this year, which is back.

[KFC]

I'm usually 34. Is getting the message.

[John]

All right, I was. I was thinking maybe that that's a little bullshit.

[KFC]

Now. Wait, wait. Was it. Was it. I mean, it was. She was in her little. Like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same video. Same video. Like, maybe you got a special one. I don't know.

[John]

She didn't have tears. Like, top 35%. I'll give you, like, kind of a thanks, like, while she's walking into the tunnel in Kansas City. Like, mine is, like, I'm taking some time to thank you for top 3% guy. It's pretty good.

[KFC]

That would be smart if they did that, to be honest. What do you think about.

[John]

Well, there goes that dream.

[KFC]

What do you think about her being number two pop. Pop artist of the century?

[John]

I. I can't say I have a huge reaction to it. I. I think the. It's. Yeah, it's. I personally, I think it's Taylor.

[KFC]

I don't think pretty objectively it's Taylor.

[John]

I would agree with that, too.

[KFC]

But, like, so here. Here's. Here's where Billboard fucked themselves. Here's where they lose.

[John]

But, like, the century.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Like.

[John]

Like, Beyonce has, what, two surprise albums with video. Like, Beyonce arguably brought back music videos in 2007. Like, there's. She has plenty of influence as well.

[KFC]

Yeah, but I'd also say so. So. So here's where this is. Billboard fucked themselves. And Billboard. Billboard would have got. Got. Not in, like, the. The courtroom movie moment. This would have been the moment where, like, the whole crowd goes like, oh, you're screwed. Because they came out with a statement that said Beyonce had a full 25 years. She was around in 2000. Taylor came out in, like, 06 07. It's not like she came out, like, 20.

[John]

20, 2018, I'd say before then, she's probably 05.

[KFC]

Right. So like there's a couple years where Beyonce was around and she was a big five years.

[John]

That's big five years. That's Destiny's Child. Right? That's fucking, I guess all the single not single ladies.

[KFC]

Okay, but then, but so then riddle me this. Rihanna is number three. Rihanna hasn't put out a song like 12 Years.

[John]

That one's a little surprising.

[KFC]

So if you're gonna, if you're gonna put Rihanna 3 and. And not ding her for the years, you can't say that Beyonce beats Taylor Swift because of a five or six year difference. Yeah, because pretty quickly Taylor. It's not like Taylor started slow. She was right away winning Grammys and shit. So it's like, okay, you have six years on me. But then yeah, Tim McGraw's our first song. Right. And then I would say the difference between the two over the last like 10 years and then definitely last like five years outweighs the beginning.

[John]

I think it's only since eras is it clearly Taylor, which is two years. I think before that. It's pretty. I mean Beyonce was doing probably like what, five years ago? Six years she's doing on the run tour with her husband Jay Z.

[KFC]

No, that's on than that. That's long. That's, that's.

[John]

That's all that longer.

[KFC]

So I think that's, I think that's.

[John]

I would guess that's seven then let's see.

[KFC]

Because they both have been out of the game for like a while. Beyonce popping up here and there.

[John]

But no, was on a massive tour all year.

[KFC]

Right, right. But, but I feel like kind of the 2013.

[John]

That was 2013, that was longer than I thought.

[KFC]

That's what I'm saying. Or maybe was it called. Yeah. On the run tour? Yeah. 20. 2014. Sorry. It's kind of craziness to think though. Like.

[John]

I don't think it's.

[KFC]

Look, I look at the numbers obviously and Beyonce went on tour and they did 900000 people and made a hundred million dollars. And like SZA does that like by herself.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Jay Z and Beyonce were on tour together and it was like. I think that part of touring is also that touring became more of a thing.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

You know, like it's not. It's like if Jay Z and Beyonce were at their peak and they toured now, I think they would have a multi billion dollar thing as well. You know what I mean?

[John]

Yeah, yeah.

[KFC]

Cuz I feel like these.

[John]

I see like a ton about this. But I saw one of Keegs his tweets that I. Again, I agree with the sentiment. I personally think Taylor is one, but Giggs was like, they're pitting the two biggest fan bases against each other. Of course, on. But either way, you're going to be pitting them. They're one and two.

[KFC]

So I think. But I think Taylor being two, they announced Taylor was two a week ago, and they got a week of outrage. I think If Beyonce was 2 and everyone knew Taylor Swift was 1, it would be more accepted than the other way around. And I think they did that to get the outrage going.

[John]

That's fair.

[KFC]

Because I just. I think as big as Beyonce is, it's like the Beehive. Taylor is like, everywhere.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Everything.

[John]

Yeah. But I think it's also like. I think that Bomani Jones was like, there's two Americas.

[KFC]

Yes.

[John]

Like, we think Taylor says. I was gonna say black community. Black people are like.

[KFC]

I mean, some of the comments are like, Taylor Swift is not talented and, like, she's not that big. It's like, we. Yeah, we can't even talk about this. You know what I mean? We view it so differently. Like, I'm. I was so underwhelmed by, like, the last half of Beyonce's career. Like, I loved her. Not loved her.

[John]

I loved Cowboy Carter. I really liked Cowboy, and that's not.

[KFC]

My type of music. I think people who like that did think that was a good album.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

But, like, to me, it's, like, not even close. And they would say the same thing totally flips, you know? So it's like, that's. I mean, and then Billboard is sitting there, like, all of our clicks, because that is the perfect storm for them to do that, you know, but it's.

[John]

But there's also, like, she is bigger.

[KFC]

Taylor is bigger right now.

[John]

I. I don't.

[KFC]

So to put her second right now is going to stir up more controversy because right now, she's the bigger artist.

[John]

I agree with that. But I also think people always just like, claiming things happen for clicks, I think is kind of lazy. Like, how often here is there a list where, like, 2 and 1, like, it's factored in, like, what's gonna get me the most clicks? And people try and make their best list possible. You try and get clicks with your headline. You try and get clicks with stuff like that. Like, maybe people here do things for attention.

[KFC]

Pretty. I don't know. I feel like most people are more, like, manipulative or, like, focus. Like, they do do it for clay here.

[John]

No, but, like, I don't think we're the only media, like the only good media company in the world.

[KFC]

You're probably right.

[John]

I think people are like, I want to put my best list.

[KFC]

I think the running joke on social media is Jay Z's check cleared for this one. Like poly market and all these things that were like, predicting it.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Like Taylor Swift was number one. Number one. Number one. And then all sudden everyone's like, oh, Jay Z's check cleared, like, which is, you know, just a funny thought. But I mean, I also think like, Drake has a claim as well.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Like, I was surprised. I mean, Rihanna being above Drake, I think is crazy. And if you're really going to talk about, like, if, if, you know, numbers wise, it's, it's, it's Eminem, I would think. Bad, bad bunnies recently, I mean, Eminem sold like hundreds of like a hundred million albums.

[John]

Yeah. Like, you know, the decade or the century, whatever it is.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Like.

[John]

Yeah. I think Eminem has a real argument.

[KFC]

To be like, considering number three, just put out an album now that like, like there have been plenty of bad albums, but they all sell like millions of records.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Insane. So, yeah, you know, there's a lot of different. That's, you know, lists are lists, man. That's what these fucking.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Probably BTS should be number one.

[John]

Right.

[KFC]

Like, they probably have like a billion fans.

[John]

So it's also like, it's the whole idea of lists is clickbait in and of itself. So like, I don't people, again, the people I know who work in media are trying to make their best fucking list possible.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Possible.

[John]

But I think that's the norm.

[Jackie]

I think notoriously here, like all of our maps and stuff, everything, it's like.

[KFC]

Four clicks or maps.

[John]

Yes, that's true.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[John]

But that's like, that's like a running joke with us, I guess.

[Jackie]

Like map of the best or like every state's most.

[KFC]

Yeah, like school parties the most. And it would be like. Yeah, but that. So that's what, like the, the. That's true essence of like those things. Things are to get clicks.

[John]

But that I, I think that's different than like when Stephen Che puts out like his best quarterbacks list. I don't think he's doing that for cliffs. He's like, he's like, these are who I think are the best quarterbacks.

[KFC]

Chay would put those lists out for nobody other than himself. You can tell them that nobody's reading. He'd still do that. Yeah, yeah.

[John]

So there is a difference. But I, I think of this as more towards, like, you know, this is where I think the draft is going to get drafted. Like, I'll tell you what's crazy.

[KFC]

I get it that I think it's because we're at like a quarter mark, but, like, we're 25 years into the century.

[John]

Yeah, that's a weird time to do.

[KFC]

The best of the century. Like, but Taylor and Beyonce could get blown out of the water by someone in 40 years from now. I don't. Yeah, I mean, it's a very.

[John]

I think it makes sense. The best of the century till today.

[KFC]

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a 25 year thing, but it's like, so. But why 2000? You know, I don't know. It's like, it's just an arbitrary.

[John]

I don't think it's arbitrary, though. Like 25 years from 2000 and now that doesn't sound arbitrary.

[KFC]

Yeah, it's a round number, but it's. It's. There's just so much left in a century.

[John]

Yeah. You know, See, I mean, you like, you could say like the best artists last 25 years.

[KFC]

Yeah, that's probably just. That's semantics. But I think that's probably a better way to put it than. Because this list will not be the list. Yeah, but. Yeah, everyone went wild on that one.

[Jackie]

Are you guys cool if I, like, just sit some conversations out? Like, does it make you uncomfortable?

[John]

No, I forget you're there.

[KFC]

Yeah, I'm just like.

[John]

No, no, you mean you can sit out whatever the you want.

[Jackie]

I just, I just, I just. I'm not informed enough.

[KFC]

Well, let's talk about just like, add.

[Jackie]

In, like, stuff that I'm like, well.

[KFC]

Let'S talk about Sabrina Carpenter and Barry Key. Barry Key.

[Jackie]

Oh, I don't. I don't know that much about that.

[John]

But no one knows about that.

[Jackie]

No, no, but actually, actually, I did.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I.

[Jackie]

The second that she came out with the song, like, please don't embarrass me. I was like, shit's obviously going on behind the scenes because you've been dating for like two months and you already have, like, gripes again against him. Like, if he's already acting up and like, pissing you off in the first two months, don't date him.

[KFC]

And then you got the Libby Dunn angle and everything, and then you have to live.

[Jackie]

Refresh me up.

[KFC]

Is that a TikTok thing or is that real? Was that. Is that like the TikTok thing or is that real? I mean, it's. Yeah, I mean. So the girl that Barry Keegan Koiki Yogan cheated or allegedly cheated on with is a Libby Dunn like lookalike Brecky Hill. She looks a lot like Libby Dunn and like does on purpose to like be like Libby Dunn, I guess wears the same and acts the same way, which is kind of weird.

[John]

So then this person looks like Libby Dunn. I don't know what Libby Dunn looks like.

[KFC]

So then Libby Dunn posted a video being like dancing and the caption just said when the whole world like sees her for what she really is. So it's a whole tick tock, you know, fest.

[John]

Would. I don't. Yeah. The. I. I think it's weird that they made an announcement. Like did anyone really know like they did the video together. But like what people like, was it a big deal that Barry Keoghan and Sabrina Carpenter were dating?

[KFC]

Sabrina's kind of in that Twitter Taylor world now.

[John]

Really?

[KFC]

Yeah, yeah. They, they like it's kind of like a her versus Chapel Hill travel roan and like she's kind of been embraced by the swifties. Barry Keoghan is, you know, the new hot. I think, I think people were shipping them as they said there's not that. That picture of him. I'm like, that guy sucks. That guy sucks. Other pictures find that right there. I'm like, this dude blow.

[John]

He's. He's a very. He's a very bad dresser. He's a really bad dresser for a.

[KFC]

Guy who I would think would be good.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

If you told me that I'd be like, oh, he's probably stylish. He probably like dude.

[John]

No. Because Euros, the Euro. Europeans get like the. And he's Irish. The Irish people don't really fall into the European pot despite the fact that they're European. But like you go Europeans dress well. Irish and Brits.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

No.

[John]

Like they don't fall in that. This like there's. Yes. You can certainly dress really well. Well. And then there's just like the dirt bag like white trash Irish and British. Oh, it's tough. It is tough. Yeah.

[KFC]

No, no. That I would never be like, oh, he dresses so European if he's Irish or British.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Those are different things.

[Jackie]

I also knew it was doomed because the power dynamic of like she can date anybody in Hollywood but he can really only date her because there's probably not anybody else shorter.

[KFC]

She's like, oh, wow. He must be like five foot three. So like she's like five foot zero.

[Jackie]

I don't know if there's anybody else in Hollywood.

[KFC]

Oh, wow.

[Jackie]

So then I was like, that must be a power dynamic, just being like, yeah, go fucking find someone else.

[KFC]

Oh, my God. How tall is a Lordy.

[John]

Elordi's big.

[Jackie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[KFC]

He must have been pissed when he found out he was doing a movie. That looks like a. Like, father and son. That looks like a, you know, big brother, little brother. That's crazy.

[Jackie]

That looks like a Dave, Like.

[John]

Like, you know what's crazy? The. Remember when I was probably like, six months ago, I was like, it's weird how all the A list stars are still our stars, like Taylor Swift and stuff like that. And since then, there's been a million new AIST stars who are like, the. Like, at the time you guys. You guys threw out, like, Olivia Rodrigo, I was like, oh, yeah, that's a good one. She is a young star. And then it was. Chaparron popped up. Sabrina Carpenter popped up. Lord, he popped up. Butler. Huh? Butler. He was Butler. Chalamet was there. There were like, there's one or two more artists, so I can't think of right now. I'm like, oh, okay.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

That.

[John]

It just happens, huh, Charlie? Yeah, it was like, I guess it makes sense. Like, you wait until the stars age into their 30s because, like, Ariana Grande is now in her 30s, and then you bring in the new crop.

[KFC]

Yep. Well, there was that. I think it was Variety or maybe Esquire had like a. The new Hollywood and they had.

[John]

But those are all tick tockers.

[KFC]

I didn't know a single person on there that was.

[John]

It's like the new A List.

[KFC]

Yeah. I mean, that. That's part of getting old. Is. Is that like, when you, like, if I was not doing this job, I. I am doing this job and I'm still pretty behind.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

If, like, my regular friends, if I said Chapel rolling to them, they'd be like, oh, no. Yes.

[John]

Absolutely no.

[KFC]

100.

[John]

Then that's. That happens in the next two years then. Because, like, I mean, everyone knows Chapel Roan.

[KFC]

I do not think that's true. Really? Yeah.

[John]

They know the song then. If you played the song, she's got the biggest song.

[KFC]

Maybe. Maybe. Yeah, if. Maybe because my. My guys have kids, really, I don't think my. My friends would know how to go. Really? Maybe. Maybe I'm being dramatic. Maybe that is bigger than I realized. But, like, like, nowadays, when you're also. When you're not, like, listening to the radio and you just, like. You know what I mean? Like, my friends would just, like, go to work, go home, listen to their. Do their thing, and I don't know where they would intersect with Chapel.

[John]

Rome, really?

[KFC]

So maybe she's a bad. Like, maybe she is too big. But like, whatever. The next step down is like, no shot, you know, but.

[John]

Yeah, but it's not completely like. And you'd hear it in stores, you hear it at games, you hear it like, it's played everywhere.

[KFC]

Yeah, but. But that people are. But it might be like, I've heard. Oh, I've heard that song before. But like, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. Who sings this? They'd be like, I don't know. Yeah, I think you get old. And it's like, again, even trying to keep up, I'm like, I don't know what this word means. I don't know who that is. I don't know what that song is. And then, I mean, the rappers. Forget about rappers. A rap I'm out on, like, I. I don't know. That's also because the genre is down. And I don't care what anybody says that like, no, it's just a new Jet. No, that the genre. Like, do you know who Ian is? Ian, that's his name. I would say Ian's like the newest, hottest rapper. I'm gonna show you this guy. He's gotta be. Is he white? Yeah. Okay, you guys are gonna like. But like, that's him. Yeah. I would say he's the most popular real like, like rising rapper.

[John]

Is he from Georgia? What's his biggest song? No, this is the guy. I gotta fucking shout him out then. Dude. Fucking Wayne Jet Ski called this like two years ago. Yeah, Wayne Jet Ski on his. On his Spotify. I'm sorry. On his, like, Instagram was like, yo, this dude Ian is going to be a massive star. Wayne Jet Ski fucking drilled this because I. The only reason I remember it is how long the Instagram handle was.

[KFC]

Yeah, it's a stupid name. That's so annoying. How about Dave? Dave, the really fat guy who sits on stage. You know that guy?

[John]

Oh, I saw that guy the other day.

[KFC]

Dave. What's his name? Type in fat rapper Dave. His name is just like Dave Roberts or something like that. Dave, Dave. Dave. Big X to plug, right? No, no, his name is Dave. Oh, yeah, Dave Blunts Day. Blunts, bro. This guy, like, we got a fat shame. He was. First of all, the song is terrible. It's. He's addicted to lean. Yeah. And his song is I can't put down the Cup. And so it's just auto tunes to the maximum, like over and over. And Snoop posted Him and was like, who is this fat? And then. So Dave. Dave Blunts was like, Snoop. And he performed at. I think this is at Tyler, the creators thing maybe. Or wherever it was. It was that. No Juice World. Yeah. He just sat on a couch like ours. I mean, he is, like, enormous.

[John]

He's enormous.

[KFC]

And he had a fucking oxygen tank to sing.

[John]

He's the same size Frank was.

[KFC]

Yeah, I was gonna say it's. He has, like, the same dementias as Frank that's spilling out.

[John]

He's bigger. Yeah.

[KFC]

That Frank at his peak was. Was all like, yeah, Frank now is.

[John]

Way down, but he weighs over 220kg. What's that weigh in pounds?

[KFC]

That's got to be four and change, which I think Frank was 48.

[John]

Oh, that's bigger than Frank.

[KFC]

That's bigger than. Yeah, but. But it's not crazy. Frank was probably 450. He.

[John]

Was he that big?

[KFC]

I don't know. I. I don't know. I shouldn't say, but I think he was really big.

[John]

The.

[KFC]

I think he's down, like, £100 and still in the threes.

[John]

Yeah, that's true.

[KFC]

So. But, like, to me, like, this is a garbagio, man. This sucks. We've just completely memified, like, yeah, Wallow. Gilly had a guy on. I don't even know his name. He was like, my songs are a minute and 30 seconds. I'm in and out. Like, that sucks. That fucking sucks. I know that I'm old, and like, a four and a half minute song is probably, to you guys, like, an eternity, but, like, give me three verses, a couple choruses, a bridge. Like, that's a song. A minute and 30 seconds is like a skit, an intro. Like, get out of here. I just. It's. So we let the game go.

[Jackie]

So rap, get sued out.

[KFC]

I don't know. I don't know. I really don't. I mean, like, I don't know. I think everybody tried to copy Kanye and people. So people weren't making their own styles. It was very copycat. Like, once it was like, you went viral. I'm gonna try to do what you do. And I think the sound just, like, blended together because it used to be like, this guy raps one way. This guy's commercial, this guy's underground. This guy raps fast, this guy raps slow. This guy. And now it just all sounds the same. But again, I might be old, but, I mean, it's. I think it's objectively shitty. I mean, it was the first year that there Was no rap album for album of the year. It was like the first year that there was no number one. I think before Kendrick came along with not like us. Other than that, I think there was like no number one rap songs. Which is funny though because at the rap right now, the is like it's very top heavy. Like the peak is like all anybody can talk about with.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Drake and Kendrick. And then like everything after that I think is fucking trash. I guess there's like Travis Scott and. But even he probably would sell crazy whenever he puts out an album.

[John]

But I think there was like a five year.

[KFC]

Five year span where everyone sounded the same. And then we found out that there's no longevity and just sounding the same. Yeah. And now right. To me, that's all just the same exact thing. And I didn't know if I was getting old or not. But it feels like even the young generation does not. Yeah. Embrace it anymore. I think the. The Kendrick and Drake thing is. I was at. It was such a funny flip for me. There was one point where I was like, I am obsessed with this. This is like everything. I. I don't want to talk about anything else ever again. Like, it's got the music, it's got business, it's got politics, it's got finance, tech, battle rap. Like all of it in one story. And I thought that probably like right before Thanksgiving and by like Saturday I.

[John]

Was like, I can't even like, what story is this?

[KFC]

Just the Drake. You know, the. The lawsuit was really what sparked it.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Yeah. So I was. You know, to me, that's all very fascinating. I know people. I think we one day will study the hatred of Drake is powering like a whole career and industry. I don't think if people hate. If people don't hate Drake as much as they do. Kendrick is not what he is. I think Kendrick is very popular right now. But. But what's part of it is they wanted the other side to lose. It's very Jake Paul sort of thing.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

It's like we're tuning in to see this guy lose. They wanted to dance on that grave. And there's a lot of Kendrick fans who are like getting both, but there are a lot of people who are like, I just want Drake to lose. And so now I am a Kendrick fan.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah.

[KFC]

And I. So that's fascinating to me. I think what Drake is doing is any other person in the world at any other point in their career would be the hero. And people are siding with the billionaire scumbags of the music industry because they hate this guy so much. That's crazy. Like any. If anybody else took on the music industry would be like, you're the like the punk rock, anti establishment hero.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

And people are like, fuck you, Drake. They're siding with like Universal, the CEO of Universal Music.

[John]

Like, oh, to the. I think Taylor is thought of as kind of a hero now, but I think she. It was her. When she first did it too.

[KFC]

What did she do?

[John]

She wouldn't put her music on Apple until they paid Apple star Apple.

[KFC]

But she's another one. That was during an era where people hated Taylor Swift.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah.

[KFC]

I think, like, so I shouldn't say any other time. There's like two people who are like super, super hated. If Taylor did it now, I actually think probably Taylor might have. I think Taylor might be wrapped up in this some way. I think Drake might be like, I know what's going on over there and I want some of that. Because I can't imagine Taylor just has like the regular, even the popular cut. You know what I mean?

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Like, she's got to have something.

[John]

But that was people. People said about her when she didn't have. When she didn't put on app. Again, this is all, if I remember correctly, but the. She wouldn't put on Apple and they were like, fuck her. She's got so much money in the world. Just like, why are you negotiating for a bigger salary or whatever. And it was like, I'm not for me doing it for other.

[KFC]

Now what's happening with Drake is Drake is doing this because he lost. Drake is doing this because he wants more money. Drake is doing this because he hates the people at the label. But what he's doing is good for the little people.

[John]

Yeah, yeah.

[KFC]

So it's like, are your motivations there? No. But what he is doing is objectively the right thing.

[John]

Right.

[KFC]

The way those labels and the apps collude are, it's fucking shameless. Like, we've talked about this before with like when Snoop came out and was like, I get. Oh, one pennies per stream.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Like, that is a model that will not last. I don't know if it'll take 100 years. Maybe Drake speeds it up. At some point the artists will either like literally unionize or they will just kind of like unofficially get together and be like, no more.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Because it's fucking crazy. I get you. I get billions of streams and I have to go on tour to make my money. And it's kind of like a labor dispute with baseball. With sports, when people are like, you're a millionaire already, it's like, fine, yes, I'm a millionaire, I should be a billionaire. Like I should be making more than I. You know what I mean?

[John]

It's like with all those things and I understand how it gets foggy for a fan to watch it, but like, be it sports, be it music, be it movies, like, people get mad at the middleman, which is like the athletes, the musicians, these stars, they're all, look, they're not working class by any stretch of the imagination, but they are the working class of that industry.

[KFC]

Yes, that's the thing. It's like this is just an agreed upon industry where it's so valued, sports, entertainment, whatever, that the money is. Just take it and add a zero. If you were, if you were making $50,000 a year and you should be making 500, you'd be like, what the, These guys are making like 50 million and they should be making 5 billion, whatever it is, you know, you're just.

[John]

Mad at me because I'm the face of it, but the fucking nameless guy and the CEO is making 700 million this year, so.

[KFC]

And that's what I would say about sports, where it's like, yo, that Guy has a $300 million contract. It's like, you know that because for whatever reason, this is all public, their books are closed. Yeah, they probably made $300 million on the fucking, you know, TV rights alone.

[John]

Yeah. Jones are losing money this year, right? You think fucking. Yeah, Robert Craft, he's losing money.

[KFC]

They're able to pay that guy and.

[John]

25 others, you know, end the year making probably 100 million themselves.

[KFC]

Right. It's, it's like, fuck those people who are just keeping all the money for themselves. But people hate Drake so much that they're on those guys side. That is a level of hate I did not think was even possible. Because to me, I, I, I, I actually, I shouldn't say I'm surprised by it, but like, I thought there would be more people who were like, Drake, but he's the good guy here. And there is not, there really is not, there really is nobody taking his side. And it's kind of crazy. The only people I've seen taking aside are people who are like in the music industry or like, I have seen how much. This is fucked. And I'm telling you, these are the bad guys. He's the good guy. Like, nope, we don't like him. Drake, apparently, I don't know, like what they. One of the Joe Budden on Joe Budden show. He said that a music exec said that Drake's catalog is worth more than the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s combined. Everything. How are you supposed to. How are you supposed to be okay with just like a regular deal if that's the case?

[John]

I can't be the case that I believe it's worth a lot.

[KFC]

That's, you know, that's probably hyperbole.

[John]

It's worth the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, the fucking Springsteen could be like.

[KFC]

But like currently, you know what I mean? Like, at their peaks, maybe not. But like right now, the value of those, those catalogs are probably not that.

[John]

High, but they're like 500 million. They just sold them all. So they're all 500 million each.

[KFC]

I mean, they said that like drake got a $400 million deal and I guess like right after he signed it, like, was privy to more information or whatever. And like they said he instantly recouped his 400 million dollar deal and was like, what the, like, now I'm working for free. So it's like, hey, I mean, it's kind of like sports. It's like you signed a bad deal. Like, you, you know, you should have bet on yourself more. But it's like he is into such uncharted territory. And I say that with like. That's why I think Taylor must have some sort of deal as well, because it's like she's, she's up there as well. It's like you can't walk in the room, be like, give me $5 billion.

[John]

You know what I mean?

[KFC]

Because it just never happened. It's like there's just such a gap between him and the rest of the industry where it's like, I don't know, you know, they would never. I think this is like the first time that these deals, he. I think he wants equity is the main thing.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

I don't want to have to work for every penny I make. I want to just. I want to make all this. You know what I mean? It is, the whole thing is very. I mean, I could talk about it forever, but it's like he is viewed as a culture vulture and has given everybody their number one hits. How can you be the vulture if you've made other careers? Yeah, and I understand they view it as like, you're white, you're Jewish, you, you came in and you got big because of these guys. But he also gave them all their first number one hits and made their careers. So how am I a vulture if I gave back yeah. And it's because it's not. He. He's not like, I'm doing it for the music. It's like, who cares what his motivations are as long as that's the result. But people do not. They do not see it that way. They're just like that dude. And then so Kendrick gets to ride the wave of, like, he's, you know, good and riding it perfectly and making good music. But it's like the hate train is what put a battery in your back and just. Let's do voicemails. What else we got?

[John]

Let's do voicemails.

[KFC]

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[John]

Whoa.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

KFC fights Jackie.

[KFC]

What up? Don't mind the voice.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I know it really doesn't match for such a skinny guy.

[John]

That could be the end of the Voice.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Now KFC fights. Jackie. What up? Don't mind the voice. I know it really doesn't match for such a skinny guy. Also, I'm taking a nap in my car over my lunch break. Anyway, how many times would it take for you to do open heart surgery successfully someone? So you get a team of doctors. Fatigue doesn't play a factor. You get unlimited tries. Obviously you're going to kill just a ton of people, but how many eventually.

[John]

You'Re going to luck into it, right? No, you're going to learn.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

You're going to know, like, which steps to take, how to do certain things.

[KFC]

Walk in today.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

How many times would it take?

[John]

A thousand?

[KFC]

10,000?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

A million? I think I can probably do a thousand.

[KFC]

Oh, fucking away, bro. Do the doctors help you or you're on your own? I mean, you're not getting instruction, I don't think ever.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

You get.

[KFC]

You get one YouTube tutorial. Tutorial.

[Jackie]

Oh, wait, I was actually gonna say if I could watch, like, endless YouTube tutorials. Yeah, I think I could.

[KFC]

One, one. One comprehensive YouTube tutorial that you can watch unlimited. But it's like, everything you need. It's everything you need. It's step by step, and it's like, there's.

[John]

There's captions.

[KFC]

It's 1, 2, 3, 4. I'm sure, bro, I still think this takes you, like, 20 million tries. Think about, like, you give me a step by step recipe to make some food, and it comes out pretty shitty, let alone keep. I do not fundamentally understand how you can, like, chop a heart out and put a new one in or fix it or whatever.

[Jackie]

Like, that's what makes me like, sometimes I'm like, I actually don't understand how they're doing that. But, like, then kind of when you just see all the idiots in the world, it's like, I guess it can't be that hard because, like, if we're able to do that, it can't be as complicated as.

[John]

I agree with you. I think there are. I think. I think I'm under a thousand. No. Yeah, I'm under a thousand.

[KFC]

Oh, my God.

[Jackie]

If I do anything, I think I could get like, Jackie, you've done the.

[KFC]

Podcast a thousand times. You still fuck this up.

[John]

But, like. But you fuck it up occasionally. Most of the time you don't. Most of the time you do a really good job.

[KFC]

I guess so. I guess so. You. All you need is one. Okay. All right.

[John]

Like, I don't know, guys.

[KFC]

I legitimately think 75.

[John]

That's my guy. I fucking. I said a thousand. Like a pussy, I do it in 10.

[KFC]

That is up there with Big Cat saying, he could be Floyd Mayweather, I'll.

[John]

Fucking knock this thing out. It's like. It's actually the opposite. It's funny. It's a funny question because I've been thinking kind of like this recently because I'll sometimes get these videos of, like, manual laborers.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[John]

And. And the caption is always something along the lines of, like, there's no such thing as unskilled labor. And it's a manual labor doing something, like, perfectly right. I would never in a million years think of, like, someone laying, like, brick on a roof and they're like, it's a perfect shovel, and it's, like, landing perfectly, and it's like, well, that guy's done in a million. I actually think the exact opposite.

[KFC]

Apparently, he's on it 75 times.

[John]

I think there's no such thing as skilled labor. I think everything, repetition, everything you can figure out.

[KFC]

I don't. I don't think so.

[John]

Every job you can figure out. I don't care if you're a salesman, a doctor, a lawyer. I'll figure it out, okay? It'll take me time. It'll take me a long time, but I'll figure it out.

[KFC]

I think there are certain things that are 90, you're right. And then I think there are certain jobs and, like, you know, you could just, like, say that about sports. Like, you will never get on the field with a professional athlete.

[John]

That's fair.

[KFC]

You know, that's fair. And I think that maybe open heart surgery is that version physical.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

You have to slice.

[KFC]

You have to break their ribs and, like, remove their lungs and slice their heart open.

[Jackie]

Super jacked to, like, that's not what I'm saying.

[KFC]

I'm just saying that's. That's complicated now. You have to be strong, but think.

[Jackie]

About it, like, on time. 50. You're like, I've done this. I've seen every part of the heart. Then there's probably not even 75 parts to the heart.

[John]

I don't know. Look, we've been taking us a couple of times.

[KFC]

We're killing 74 people.

[John]

We haven't even started yet. We're not a heart expert. I'm not a heart surgeon.

[KFC]

It's like the phrases. The phrase is, it's not brain surgery, guys.

[John]

That's what we're talking about. I genuinely believe. 75. I'm joking. Bit. I genuinely believe I could figure this out. It would take. Look like, it would have to be.

[KFC]

Like, I think you need hands and everything, too. Like, I think it is like sports. Like, I think you could be a good doctor but not be a good surgeon. Like, you got to be, like, precise with this guy.

[John]

Fucking easy, dude.

[Jackie]

I mean, you look like you're like.

[KFC]

I do think there is some truth to that. Every profession, whether it's silly or traditionally, like, impressive, lawyer, doctor, whatever, there's a bunch of morons. I don't know if it's like good heart surgeons that you won't die.

[John]

I wouldn't be. So first of all, to be clear here, this would have to be something like a genie gave me this punishment. There's no money you could get. Like, it's not like there's a billion dollars online. Like, I don't want it. I'm not doing a million open heart surgery.

[KFC]

Right.

[John]

If someone was like, I'm not a looker. Some magical power was like, you have to do this and you have to do until you succeed, and then I'll let you go. Yeah, in that case, I would eventually succeed, probably in about a week.

[KFC]

I think it would take like 10 million. I think I would just be dead person after dead person after dead person. I actually, I actually.

[John]

I guess it would be. The hardest thing would be the death after like, two months. And I'm like, I'm getting up there.

[KFC]

That's another question. That's funny. You said two months. Like. Like, what do you think you would do a couple a day? Or do you think you would just keep going?

[John]

I keep going.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Because I think. I think surgeries take like 10 hours.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

So I think you get to do like one a day.

[John]

I think. I think most of these are going to last about 20 minutes. Getting the 10 hours. I'm right there.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Dude, bro.

[KFC]

I think you would get to 60 so quick and be like, I have not even opened up the checks.

[John]

Like, like cutting his carotid artery.

[KFC]

But eventually you would stop. Yeah, I'm not gonna nick that artery.

[Jackie]

You know what I think about a lot is like, Thomas Edison inventing the light bulb. Like, he had a thousand. And if I was like, on like 555, I bet it's just not for me. Like, I'm just. I was not born to invent the light bulb. It's crazy that he got to a thousand. But. But heart surgery, like, again, if this genie is like, you gotta figure this out.

[KFC]

Okay, all right. But yes, I agree with that. Like, the ability to fail and keep going is crazy.

[Jackie]

But nobody had figured that out. But, like, if. If so many people do open heart surgeries, and they do, nobody actually likes what they're doing, their job.

[KFC]

Let's see how many heart surgeons are there? Like, I guess in America. Let's say this, this will be telling. I might be wrong here. Maybe it's like going to be, you know, there's only 4500 of them. 1300 in 10 years. There's only a thousand people on the planet the last decade that do this and you jokes are going to figure.

[John]

This out in two months in America. Come on, come on.

[Jackie]

There's a great crop of people to choose from in America.

[KFC]

So, like, I mean, what, you know, the. All right, let's do China and India. But I think a lot of them come here because that's where you make your money.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Being a doctor anywhere else. So we have the top surgeons, definitely. So then, so then, America's the count. There's 12. There's 12,000 in the world. That's a small number, folks.

[John]

That's a small number.

[KFC]

Yeah, but there's 300 NBA players.

[John]

Oh, my God.

[KFC]

75, he says.

[John]

And look, I'm not saying let's get.

[KFC]

Some good average up here.

[John]

I'm not saying you're going to live a long, healthy, healthy life, but I'll get you out of that operating room.

[KFC]

That's what I mean. Like when you're following a recipe, it might not be the best. Yeah, it might not be the best turkey, but we're eating turkey tonight, you know.

[John]

Boy, this is a.

[KFC]

This is a classic. This is an instant class. I don't think you could get the heart back in and connected and pumping, maybe ever. That is.

[John]

It's just. There's like, what, five valves? How hard can it be?

[Jackie]

It's probably like plumbing where you just kind of like.

[John]

It's just plumbing. The pipe there, it's plumbing. With really high stakes.

[KFC]

Yep.

[John]

And the deaths would get to me.

[Jackie]

That would. Yeah, the deaths would be a fact.

[John]

It would be daunting. I'd have to take therapy breaks. But I. He's like, what he up to now? I've killed 13,000 people.

[Jackie]

The therapist would probably be like, I don't.

[John]

All right, close your eyes. Breathe in for eight seconds. Breathe out. Find something in the room that's in the room. I found something blue. It's a died and killed again.

[KFC]

I mean, you guys are thinking about adults the whole time. Give me one kid and I'm a dead kid. I kill a kid on the table, It's a wrap. 75. Imagine that. You. You. The. You know, your seventh person is a eight year old and they're dead. And you're like, well, I gotta do a thousand more. I'm gonna do 74 more idiots. Next up, what up, boys?

[John]

And Jackie, of course. I got a question for basically all three of you. So this just happened literally tonight at the bar. Ran into a girl. I haven't seen her in a couple months. And basically it was the typical. Hey, how you doing? Good to see you.

[KFC]

You look good.

[John]

You look good too. You know, walked with my boys. She walked with her girls. And then when I got back to sit down with my boys, the biggest thing hit me. It was, what is she saying right now to her friends? How did she just explain who I was to her friends? And I think who you are as a man kind of ranks in, like, three categories in that instance of how she explains who you were. Right. I think the lowest tier, like, tier three is. Oh, it's just some guys to talk to.

[KFC]

Right.

[John]

It's just you brush it off. I think the middle tier is kind of like, oh, it's some guys I went on a couple dates with.

[KFC]

You know, we did it for a.

[John]

Bit, and then it just didn't work out. It's like, okay, you know, that's middle tier. And I think the top tier, which some girls might not seem like the top tier, but to guys is, oh, that's some guys to hook up with. Because boys, if you get a girl to admit to a group of girls that she used to you and they can physically look over and see what you look like, that is the top tier. And Jackie, you can tell me if I'm wrong. There's other tears, but, boys, that's the top.

[KFC]

The floor is yours, Jacqueline.

[Jackie]

Well, I'm. They already know. She's already told them the second that they went on a date. Everybody knows everything. Every move of like. Yeah, they already know all your. They know how big your dick is. They know, like, if you.

[KFC]

That's made across, like, that's some. That is going to put some people in a torture chamber. Yes. But I'm just knowing that, like, wait a minute. They know everything about.

[Jackie]

Yeah, but like, it's like, trust. Yeah. Then you don't gotta sweat what she's saying. Like, they already know.

[John]

Sorry, I, I, obviously. But I don't. I actually don't think. I don't know if I'm weird or anything like that.

[Jackie]

They've seen all your texts. If you, if you're ever texting a girl, the first two weeks is not her, it's her friends.

[KFC]

Yeah, that's. That's right. They agonize over everything.

[John]

It is funny how you guys just get allowed to break privacy laws.

[KFC]

Yeah. It's like, they will just like, it's like chicks.

[John]

Yeah, we show your dick to everybody. Right, right, right. I show you twat to everyone. They'd be like, that's a violation of privacy.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I.

[John]

When. When do you think that stops? So how old you're 25.

[Jackie]

So. So now like.

[KFC]

Yeah, I was gonna say if you, if you meet right now, your, your crew is like your crew. But like you met. If you were to go out right now with like the barstool girls that you're like newly friends. Yeah, no, you know, so as you get older, there are more times where people don't know everything about you.

[Jackie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also like again like now that I live alone, like it's harder to share every detail of everything and whatever. But I guess, yeah, if it was. If I was explaining who I thought.

[KFC]

He was going to say, it's like a. I think the top tier is if they want to. You. You know what I mean?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I'm.

[John]

I'm a little lost on what the question is.

[Jackie]

Yeah, totally honest.

[John]

What's.

[KFC]

What's the best way as a guy was the best way a girl could describe you. Piece of.

[John]

I think the best way a girl describe you is. Is you have a lot of girls that describe you a lot of different ways. That guy's the best. That guy is a fucking asshole. Yeah, that guy's crazy.

[KFC]

There is something to. At some point I feel like most, you know, a general human tries to be a good person. So speaking about like that sect of the society not to just like blatant assholes.

[John]

Right.

[KFC]

I think you have to realize that like you will be the asshole to somebody in life.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

There will be a girl that like not on purpose, but like you treated her poorly because like you thought you loved her and then you didn't or you were like, oh, I. I shouldn't have got into a relationship with you right now. Like there's plenty of girls where I was like, oh, I thought I was ready to like date again and I was not. You know, and they probably think I'm a. You know, and that like weighed on me. And eventually I was like, I don't know, that's just who I am to that person. And like, do you. You love me? You hate me? That's just how it's gonna go. You know, I think you gotta just be okay with that. But.

[Jackie]

Well, probably the best is he was an. Because like then that means you.

[KFC]

You want to or. Yeah, exactly.

[Jackie]

And he didn't text you back. But like if you're an asshole and you have a small dick or something like that.

[KFC]

But then that's.

[Jackie]

That's the new story.

[KFC]

See, this is where size doesn't matter.

[Jackie]

No, I'm not actually saying that. But like that is the narrative.

[KFC]

Actually. You know what that might be it.

[Jackie]

All harp on.

[KFC]

That is if a girl is telling other girls that your dick is small. I mean, I guess if you just have a really small dick, it's not good. But if you have a pretty regular dick and a girl is telling everyone that your dick is small, it's. I think it's because you like, like you want.

[John]

I've never understood that insult.

[Jackie]

It's not necessarily like because of them. It's like you, you gotta like run with the narrative that's gonna make yourself feel best about like you're whatever he. The small.

[KFC]

Right.

[John]

It only works like, the only way that affects me is like, if I lost my virginity to you and I've never had sex with anyone else.

[KFC]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John]

Because otherwise you're like, you got a small dick.

[KFC]

Still. Still beat. I mean, I guess if it was like, I mean, if I ever seen.

[John]

Porn and I've never hooked up with anyone else and you're like, you got a small dick. I'd be like, oh, no, I do. I've existed in the world like, I'm fine, you weirdo. Well, but I guess you got a huge vagina.

[KFC]

Yeah. I think if you, if you do have a small dick, it probably cuts deep. Yeah.

[John]

But I think 99% of people, they say that to have just normal Aztecs.

[KFC]

Correct.

[John]

And if you got normalized, your Aztec is most people have normal dicks.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[John]

And if you're most person, then why would that bother you?

[KFC]

Yeah. I think the average is 5. Right. 5. It's like 5.1 or something like that.

[John]

Normal ass dick.

[KFC]

Normal ass dick. But I think if no.

[John]

Hey, normalized.

[KFC]

Dick.

[John]

Hey, hey. I want to say something before we move on. That's a normal dick.

[KFC]

Doesn't affect me at all because I.

[John]

Have a normal dick.

[KFC]

Normal ass dick. Express is, I got to imagine the Express, the longest running clothing brand store in the world. It's been around ever since I can remember. Ever since I can imagine. They're one of the OGs. Somebody hit me with their Spotify rap today and they said, KFC Radio, my number one podcast for seven years in a row. And I was like, wow, that's crazy. What's crazier than that is? That's half our show.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

I was like, yo, good on you. But like, you're like not even considered an og. You came in halfway. That's what I feel about Express. I feel like KFC Radio and Expression Express has been around since the dawn of time. And that's because Express puts out A quality product. Whether you're looking to be casual or formal, whether you're looking for T shirts and jeans or you're looking for button ups and suits, you're looking for high quality sweaters. They got everything covered. Whether you're buying for yourself or if you're getting gifts for people this holiday, you're in a secret Santa. You got to get gifts for your brother, your father, your uncle. They do the ladies too, but it's mostly the men's gear. You don't know what to get. Somebody is hard to shop for. You can always go with Express. You can always throw the fastball right down the middle and get the quality gear from Express in store or online. So this holiday season, go to express.com and get loaded up with all of their gear. The Pima cotton T shirts, the hyper stretch jeans, the modern tech suits, the merino sweaters. All of it [e-mail] today.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Should I go? No glasses. Does this create a glare, bro?

[John]

Good is good for us.

[KFC]

Whatever you're comfortable with, I think. Right?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Okay.

[KFC]

You can do whatever you want, man. Say whatever you want.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Do whatever you want. I can see you guys better.

[KFC]

It's probably better.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Psychotically bad.

[John]

I really appreciate you asking. In that case.

[KFC]

Wait, you were just willing to just go like blind the whole interview?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I mean, I'm kind of flying blind right now in general.

[KFC]

What's your love?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Lewis Black?

[KFC]

He's the best.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

He's the freaking. He's the man. Is this close enough? Am I good? I. I get, I get mic adjustments fairly often, so I want to make sure I'm.

[KFC]

Wait, how bad is your vision in terms of 20. 20. 20. Like 20 what?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I don't, I don't know the, the ratio. I don't know the number, but I know that I was told that I was. Is it near sighted where you can see near but can't see far? Okay, far said.

[John]

I'm not sure either.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It's like right brain, left brain. I never remember what size I got a 50. 50 shot. I still don't know, but, but yeah, no, I, I went to some, some eyeglass place and got looked at in Brentwood when I was living in la. And the guy's like, yeah, yeah, you're probably getting headaches all the time because you're squinting because you can't see anything.

[KFC]

Wait, did you know you were blind or. It sounds like this guy kind of.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Knew something was off. My. What? My wife called that out. She's like, you're always squinting when you're like, getting to a stoplight and you're trying. And she's like, you should get your eyes looked down. I'm like, I'm fine.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

You'Re straight up, Magoo, bro. Straight up, Mr. Magoo.

[John]

It's like when Jameis Winston was. Jameis Winston. I think it was his senior year at fsu. It might have been later than that. I forget. But he's a quarterback. If you don't know he's a quarterback. FSU and now the Saints. Of course.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I know that.

[John]

Yeah. I had a feeling you did.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I'm a man, too. I'm a guy.

[John]

He's the Browns quarterback now.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

He was the place for the Browns, though.

[John]

He was an NFL. I believe he was an NFL quarterback. And they were like, dude, you're blind. And he got Lasik and was like, oh, I can see.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Did the team subsequently do better?

[KFC]

No.

[John]

Everyone thought they would. It's like, holy shit. James can see now. They're gonna be awesome.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Actually, that's part of what made you so good. You had to adjust and learn under the. Under. Under that, guys.

[John]

Yeah, probably right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Dude, the NBA Jam thing is amazing. I'm obsessed with that freaking game.

[John]

Really.

[KFC]

I mean, just.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I have so many memories of just like, the. There's something about the two faces and the fact that you. I learned the button swap where I'm like, oh, you can be BJ Armstrong or Paxton and Horace Grant, or you can. Like. That was.

[KFC]

You know, that the boom shakalaka was like, a mistake. They wanted them to say something else. The guy was supposed to say, like, another phrase and, like, it up and they just rolled.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Seriously?

[John]

Really? Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

That's like the French dip. They just dropped a roast beef and some aju gravy and boom.

[John]

Is that what happened?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It's on the menu.

[KFC]

Was that a mistake?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Essentially, Chaka is like a part of culture.

[KFC]

Like, imagine if he didn't say that. I would. I remember the. The original phrase was curse word.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

That's wonderful.

[KFC]

There's something I. I've been saying it over and over again on this show, and I know it doesn't. I know it's not really true, but I think it's true that there is just a. It was all. Everything was better then. I do think that this generate. That those video games and that era created a lot of that I think is really standing the test of time that I don't know if it's happening right now. And I know every generation says that. An NBA Jam right now. I don't know. I don't think there is.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

A lot of it is. You know, as. As things evolve, you suddenly have competition in every facet. So it's like back in the day, there were only like two video games for NBA, right. So it was like we were more satiated with it in its simplest form.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And then as things evolved, we kind of also became these accumulation monsters who want everything to be bigger and better. And it's like, well, I need the graphics to look like Kevin Durant sitting in my lap.

[John]

Okay.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Weirdo. Well, now you can do your. Your 3D goggle thing and it'll. For eighteen hundred dollars, you can feel like Spike Lee. Like.

[KFC]

By the way, it was. There was a 1969 song, oh, I want to take you higher by Sly and the Family Stone. And the lyrics were.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

No, that's.

[KFC]

And then. And the guy messed it up and said, boom shakalaka. So it would have been that different. But boom lakalaka doesn't feel the same as boom shakalaka.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

No, the shock is you.

[KFC]

I also think this. With wrestling, I think.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Are we on right now?

[KFC]

Yeah, this is it. This is it.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

We just begin.

[KFC]

We just roll.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Are you sure? You guys don't look dressed for work.

[John]

You look more like.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

You look like. This is kind of a lax place.

[KFC]

Well, this is particularly.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Interns can show up stoned and still do a great job.

[John]

Unfortunately, you're not far off.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. What were you saying about wrestling?

[KFC]

I think that the WWF Attitude era is the greatest.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

For those that don't know, the Attitude Era was a time in the late 90s in which WWE began to flex in a way where the comedy and the sexual content and the violence all became so heightened. And I do believe it coincided with the rise of new metal bands like Limp Bizkit, the popularity of Rage Against Machine, and young men everywhere were going, this is the content we want. And it only lasted about four years, but, boy, was it an explosive. Only four to five years.

[KFC]

I think it's the.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

For those that don't know, just.

[KFC]

Again, you know, just a quick little synopsis.

[John]

I'm. I was a wrestling fan growing up, but I was a wrestling fan. It's actually been interesting working here at Barstool because a lot of the people who I think are either the most talented or that I find very entertaining. Yeah. Were wrestling guys.

[KFC]

Yes.

[John]

And I was like, I know how.

[KFC]

To cut a promo.

[John]

Maybe that's where they learned it. But when I liked wrestling, I liked the violence of it. I didn't care about the cutting promo that checks out and stuff like that.

[KFC]

Like, I just like, yeah, there's mic work and then there's like the in ring work and you want the violence.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah, well, it's, I mean that's also like, like movie watching. Everyone's got their preference on genre or subgenre. And it's like my thing with, you know, Mike work versus the action or the violence is like, how do we put Sorkin dialogue in a Fast and Furious movie and make it exponentially better?

[KFC]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

That's kind of what I had always hoped for in any programming. And once in a while you get it where there's really good crossover. I think right now WWE is doing a really good job with the bloodline storyline where Roman Reigns and all these Samoan wrestlers that are maybe literal extended family or not, and they're just Samoan and they're like, you're my cousin, you know. But like that storyline has gotten to a place where there's some like actual drama, long term character work.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

That feels cinematic while also still having these cage matches or what have you. And I think that's when it's at its best, is when you can kind of marry to me.

[KFC]

Yeah. Like, you know, Mankind Undertaker, Hell in a cell. Awesome. Hardy Boy match. Awesome. Shane McMahon flying. Awesome. But if you could have like, for like the Rock and Stone Cold and some of these guys who were, you know, they're good, but they're nothing special. If you could have just like told me the outcomes of the matches, you know what I mean? Like, I don't even think I would need to watch the matches. I want to, I want to, I want to see the promos, I want to see the mic work. And then if you told me like, and you know, fast forward the match, the Rock wins, I'd be fine with that.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And I think that's what's, that's part of what's missing in wrestling today is people forget that the larger than life characters are what got us on board. You know, there are these restaurants sometimes, right. You go by a place and it says, we got tacos, we got burgers and we got spaghetti. And it's like, I don't know that that's a good thing.

[KFC]

Yeah, pretty shitty. Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Some people are kind of just doing, you know, sometimes you have to distill it to what is your thing you're really good at. And the guys who have gotten over, so to speak, in current wrestling are usually the larger than life characters. Those being MJF Dan Housen in the wwe. I guess this guy La Knight, who kind of has an attitude or a swagger about him where he gets on the microphone. It's a little bit like, hold up, hold up, hold up. I'm talking to the homeschool kids here, like ready to immediately go in and start roasting. I'm like, yeah. That type of comedic edge or character confidence I'll call it.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Is. Is what really needs to kind of emerge again. Cuz for a while it was just tattooed in shape, dudes. And it was like, I'm Braun Stevenson and you're Jack Jordan.

[KFC]

And it's like, we don't give a about that.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It just feels like Vince McMahon took a crap. And you know, this is the, this is the man. I did not mean to mention Vince taking a crap based on the allegations. He just said. Forget that I said that. I a veritable, veritable crap. Not literal crap.

[John]

You have to qualify that boy.

[KFC]

That man was out of control. I heard.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

So I heard something about him trying to start his own media company now and I just laughed my face off. I was like, this guy, he's never done anything in the world that was, that was outside of wrestling that was actually profitable. So, like, what are you, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna make the next Gilmore Girls? Like, what? You don't know what you're doing. You couldn't make a TV show if your life depended on it.

[KFC]

Also, it's like, brother, you know, you had a run, did some terrible, did some awesome.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Just, just go spend time with your grandkids and keep them away from the search engine. Like, go be a human being, you idiot. Stop trying. I'm assuming you father that you could accomplish something. Like, go find God, man.

[KFC]

Did you watch the doc?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah. And I mean, the doc was weird where it was like, it was partially about Vince, but it was also kind of like a video Wikipedia page for the whole company to then introduce everyone to the new Netflix induction.

[John]

Right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I mean, it was basically a marketing tool that was kind of an expose. Yeah, yeah. I, you know, if it wasn't on Netflix and Amazon or Hulu did it, I don't know that it would have been as sure tempered. Sure, yeah, yeah, right where they're like, careful, it's spicy. This is mild salsa.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

But I've been working with MLW lately and doing some stuff with AEW and WWE is incredible. But like, there's so much good wrestling now, it's insane. Like, it's hard to even keep up with how good wrestling is.

[John]

How does this all work where you are, your. Your wrestling with. With nlw, Right?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I have. Yeah. This guy, Court Bauer. Just heard that I was doing the indies, and I think most of it was the interest of, like, this random actor that I like is actually trying to wrestle. Yeah, I'll bring him in. But I think I proved myself to him that, like, I can.

[KFC]

You could wrestle Matt Cardona for, like, it was like a 30 minute match.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah, we had about a 20 minute match. Yeah, I mean, that's a.

[KFC]

That's not like, you know, there's plenty of people who pop in and hit somebody with a chair or pin somebody or whatever. Like, you're wrestling, man.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Thanks, man. Yeah, I think. I think the Internet's been pretty harsh on me as they enjoy doing well, just in that way of, like, when's this guy gonna get out of here? And they keep saying, like, fat David Arquette and stuff, but it's like, that's also a dismissive conclusion. If you actually watched three or four of my matches in its entirety, you'd see me doing a butterfly suplex off the top row.

[KFC]

I would think the total opposite.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

See me doing the Texas Cloverleaf that Dean Malenko does. You'd see me bleeding in the ECW arena from my forehead.

[KFC]

Yeah, like, like, like David Arquette when he won the fucking belt. I. I can understand wrestling fans being like, this sucks.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

The poor guy. For him, I think it was just like, maybe I'm helping wrestling by shining a light on them. I was in. Scream. I was in.

[KFC]

Yeah, that's hard to say no to, right? If you're a lifelong fan. They said, we want to make you, like, win at WrestleMania or whatever. Whatever he did.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

What a curse.

[KFC]

Yeah, that I can. I can get die hard fans not liking that. Giving a guy a hard time who's wrestling on the indie circuit, putting in like. Like real matches, to me feels like the opposite. I would embrace that and be like, this guy's awesome.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I'm also not getting rich. It's not like I'm making a bunch of money. I'm wrestling in front of 500 people in a town in Texas, truly, for the love of the game and lowering all my rates on, like, autographs and stuff, because I also know, like, this isn't some big city market. I'm not going to tax this dude who freaking drives a snowplow to take a selfie with me.

[John]

Yeah, totally.

[KFC]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

No, I think it's fun, man. It's. I tell people, I told Colbert I Was like, Bruce Willis had the harmonica. Kevin Bacon's got his, like, Bacon Brothers Band.

[John]

Right, Right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Like, guys have this other thing. And for a lot of guys now, it's like golf. It's like golf is the other thing in your life. It's like a side chick almost. But for me, I thought wrestling was something I'd try, and now I love it so much that. That's my harmonica, you know.

[John]

Yeah. It's also interesting, like, that people I. I know how the Internet works and humanity works and stuff like that, where you kind of just make a snap decision. But, like, I'm a fan of yours, so I know you approach things sincerely and. And you put in the time and the effort and all that stuff. Any fan who knows that is like, well, he's wrestling. He's not like, just a guy who's gonna come over and, like, you're committing to the. To the crash.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah. And I think, to be fair, I've seen it go other ways where, like. Like, sometimes I'll see a rapper show up in a movie, and I'll be like, the rappers in a movie, or any musician, for that matter. And then sometimes they really surprise you, and you go, oh, most def can act. He's actually really good.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And. And so, like, I've been judgmental in the past, too. I remember when Heath Ledger got the Dark Knight.

[KFC]

Sure. Everybody was like, oh, everybody.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Because in my head, I'm like, it should be Sam Rock.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It should be Michael Shan. Like, I had a million other people, people other than Heath. And then you watch it, and it shut me. Right.

[KFC]

I. I think that was also with.

[John]

Sam Rockwell in the Contender.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Well, I just mean guys I like.

[KFC]

I think Michael Shannon would be a great one, too. I think, you know, those are great picks, I think. I'm sure it happened at every level and generation, but that feels to me like kind of that was at least the first time I. Or. And I think the public on, like, a main level, mainstream level, thought, like, learned, don't judge a book by his cover sort of thing. Because then, like, then you did start to see, you know, down the line, it's like when McConaughey does True Detective and when. And when people have their. I do rom coms. But all of a sudden, I had a breakout role and won an Oscar, and it's like, oh, you know, just.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Because I. Brendan Fraser with the whale.

[KFC]

Sure.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

That was a big moment, too, where, like, you really can't judge a book. Book.

[KFC]

That was a first one. At least one of the first big ones. I remember being like, oh, boy. Heath Ledger.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And in my adolescent mind, you know, when. When Heath did Brokeback Mountain, I was probably 17 or something, so, like, obviously I have this very warped sort of immature mindset of a movie like that.

[John]

I watch.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I watch it 12 years later, and I'm like, this is amazing.

[John]

Amazing.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I love this movie. I don't. I don't get away from Anne Hathaway shirtless. I want to see them getting the 10 again. Like, I'm literally on board, you know, But. But. But at that point, yeah, just the immature mindset, like, oh, this guy's doing this. And then it's like, wow, that's. I like it more than Nicholson. And that's. I. I know that thems are fighting words for some people, but I don't think anyone will ever top what he did, you know?

[John]

Would you consider yourself someone like that, or do you think, like. Because you were. You started in comedy and things like that. And then I think with Blackbird, probably I. Tanya, right. Like, it was like, oh, he can act like. Do you think you were someone who was.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I don't know. Probably not to that level. I think. I think for a lot of people, it was a thing of. You're playing a lot of ne'er do Wells and a lot of, like, outcasts and. And people that are kind of have like, a false bravado. That Danny McBride thing of like, I'm so proud I don't even see the stain on my shirt.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

But. But I think what really helped was Richard Jewell and Blackbird within a few years of each other.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I think people. Yeah.

[KFC]

It's not a fluke.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It's like, yeah, I think I went from the David Keckner thing to more like the John C. Riley, Phil Hoffman thing of like, oh, you can. We could put you in a drama and. And you're pretty good spot to be. I say that lose. Honestly, I. I only say that because those are names people have thrown about, interviewed me or compare me or thrown. But, you know, I would have been very. I. I love David Kker.

[John]

Right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I love Nick Swardson. Like, I think these guys are hilarious. And I was totally content with doing that, but I had secretly always hoped maybe someday I'd get thrown into a serious dramatic film. So early on, I saw guys like Jay Moore and Jerry Maguire. Jay Moore, even. I. I don't know why I'm bringing him up. I guess somebody brought him up the other days in my head, but Jay Moore did hereafter a movie with Matt Damon and Clint Eastwood back in 10, 20 years ago. And it's like I did see comedians sometimes get cast in dramas and I was like, clearly it's possible. I just gotta kind of wait around and. Yeah, somebody.

[KFC]

Right. So wait, were you, I mean, like, what was what, what's your, what's your, your track? Like, because there's comedy, there's acting, there's wrestling. Like that all happened at once. Did one start before the other? Like where, what was the original plan? Because I feel like the plan right now is you're doing all of it.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

But yeah, no, and thankfully that's. Those avenues have kind of opened up or I've sort of knocked on some of those doors and found them to be unlocked, thankfully. But the original plan was comedy, comedy, comedy. It was just. Yeah, my dream was, my dream when I was a teenager was I'm going to go to Tisch School of the Arts at nyu, get a four year degree in filmmaking, acting, whatever. And I'm gonna get on Saturday Night Live and SNL will be my gateway to other film, TV stuff. And then eventually I'll direct like Rob Reiner and I'll do like a Spinal Tap and a Misery. Like the idea of playing in different.

[John]

Jobs, you had a real plan. Yeah, that was like a full out plan.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

That was like the dream plan. And then I had an educator kind of tell me, like, you don't really have the grades for Tish. And I didn't even investigate. I just took a Mississippi that got.

[KFC]

Cut off real quick.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Which, whoever it was, and God bless him, I didn't spend that tuition money.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

That I didn't have and made it some other way. But it was always like the dream was I'll do stand up and I'll write scripts, I'll try to get an snl. And then eventually, you know, the SNL thing is very direct yet elusive, where it's like you join a comedy school, comedy theater, you kind of give your life over to them and show like crazy amounts of loyalty and you'll get plucked to do the auditions. And I was like, I don't really want UCB taking credit for all my creativity.

[John]

Yeah, sure.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I've been writing and performing since I was like seven. Yeah, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna say like I'm the second City. Yeah, I'm the UCB guy. So I kind of in my own pride got away from that and just started. I've written like 20 feature length movie scripts really since I was a teenager.

[KFC]

Shit.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And never sold or made any of them. But. But I've gotten people attached. At one point I had. I mean, I've had everybody from freaking Richard Jenkins to Arnold Schwarzenegger to Bobby Moynihan attached to stuff. Like just random people in different phases of iteration. But I. I think now, because of the acting, maybe that's going to help open the door for me to make my own stuff.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Well, Bo Burnham did eighth grade and. And Jordan Peele, a comedian, made Get Out. It's like, clearly there's a path. You can do it if it's at a certain price point and you can prove yourself and get some help from buddies.

[KFC]

Can you do some of those old projects, you think?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

What's that?

[KFC]

Are you talking about, like, doing those. Those old projects or just now you can do.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah. Or just one of the newer ones that are probably way better than the ones I wrote 12 years ago.

[KFC]

Yeah. But it's funny too, though. Like, if you. If you get. If you become big enough where it's like. And those. And you feel like those are quality. It's like, I got 10 of these ready to roll. Yeah. Or even like realist or whatever.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Of the ten of those. Those bitches. Of them, two or three are really good.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And those are the ones I'll focus on. Try to.

[KFC]

Sure.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Make attachments and stuff. But. Yeah, no, I. I hope to. I'm already producing some of my projects. I'm producing the Chris Farley movie I'm attached to.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I just produced a movie that went to the Toronto Film Festival that I starred in.

[KFC]

Tell me about that Farley. Farley movie.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah, we're hoping to shoot it, like, Q4 next year. That's the hope. Josh Gad's directing. You're guys like, what would. I just have my. I work really hard. I try to line stuff up because my whole thing is like, I never know what's gonna fall apart either.

[John]

But you got. I mean, you got the wrestling. You got Farley coming up this year or next year, I guess, technically next year. The. You're in Springsteen, right? You're in this year.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I shot four movies back to back.

[John]

I did.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I did. Business is good after four months of doing nothing, too. I had a dry spell after I won the Emmy for Blackbird back in January. And then in February, I had a Netflix movie come out called Orion in the Dark. It's like a kids movie, animated. But for four months I didn't work and I was getting kind of scared. Like, I really thought the Emmy win might help. Yeah, I'm not doing anything.

[KFC]

When you say you're not doing anything, what do you mean?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I always wonder, staying at home, hanging out with my kids. Is there, is there literally zoom meetings with some filmmakers. I'm reading scripts. But like it does. The only offers I'm getting are like this small indie films that are like, hey, can you come do one day we'll throw you a bag of cash. But really this isn't the type of project you want to do. It's more of a favor to us and you'll make quick money. And I, yeah, I'm trying not to do that. I'm trying to get involved in stuff that I'd be really proud of and want to pay my 40, 50 bucks to go see. Because you figure babysitter plus popcorn plus ticket, whatever, you're gonna make it work. Probably even more than that. So like I'm always thinking of the consumer when I sign on to stuff like, are people gonna give a crap about this?

[KFC]

Sure.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Can I swear on this? I'm not trying to say whatever the you want, man, if people will give a gol darn.

[KFC]

But so you win the Emmy, Nothing's really common.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It's quiet for a little while. I, I remember I did get. What was the offer I got? There were a couple offers for things that just didn't line up. And then out of nowhere everything kind of hit at once where I, Damon and Affleck came on board to produce a movie that I co wrote and I'm starring on the instigator.

[KFC]

No, but who?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Damon and Matt Damon.

[KFC]

Oh, okay.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah, they made a film called Dogma. Yeah.

[KFC]

One of them was in Reindeer Games. Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Developing a movie with those guys that I'm starring in and, and co wrote and producing. And then the Farley thing hit like where New Line Cinema bought it in this little bidding war we had with a couple companies. And then I got Fantastic Four got offered to me. And then Naked Gun was a last minute thing where they had someone cast and they fell out. They're like, do you want to play Liam Neeson's partner Akiva Schaefer at Lonely Islands direct? I'm like, of course I want to do that.

[John]

Are you doing like Forelli and Wahlberg too? Isn't that, wasn't that.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Oh, me, yeah. No, Peter Fairly, who did Green Book and famously did all those comedies with his brother Bobby, did a movie with him and Wahlberg. It's, it's me, Wahlberg, Benjamin Brat, Molly, Shannon, Eric Andre, Sasha Baron Cohen.

[John]

It's.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It's an absolute riot. It's insane.

[John]

Have you shot that yet?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah, yeah. Shot all this is all in the can. The Springsteen thing is what I'm doing now. That's why I'm in Jersey.

[KFC]

So you're really about to, like. I mean, you've already made it, but you're really about to blow up.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It depends. It depends on how the films perform.

[KFC]

Sure, sure.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And if I'm at the height of my intellect and ability or if I'm phoning it in, I don't.

[KFC]

Sure. But I mean, like, when those things hit back to back to back, you. You know.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah. I mean, no, it's getting all the bullets in the chamber. It's like, okay, a Marvel film, giant studio comedy. Another giant studio comedy, a smaller film.

[KFC]

Writers and directors and.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah, like, that's. That's the hope. That's the dream is to do all that. There was a year. I study other actors in their careers, too, just to see what me and my agent and manager talk about all the time. It's. It's. Oh, what is it? Career architecture. And. And there was this. There's this guy, Caleb Landry Jones.

[John]

Get out. He's a brother and. Get out. Okay, yeah, the creepo brother.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And get out. He's incredible. He's in like a ton of stuff. But there was a year where he did. And I forget what year it was. It might have been 2017, actually. There was a year that he did the Florida Project with Willem Dafoe and Sean Baker. He did get out with Jordan Peele. He did Three Billboards Outside Evan, Missouri, with Martin McDonough and Francis McDormand and Sam Rockwell, the Tom Cruise one, too. And he did American Made with Tom Cruise and Doug Liman. And I remember looking at that year and I remember going, I want a year like that. Yeah, I remember to have a year like that. And I think.

[KFC]

But like, everybody might, you know, being able to do it is when everyone's.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Always talking about manifesting. Manifest. I can manifest. I can speak about growing a tail or a unicorn horn. It doesn't mean it's going to show up. I'm very much a spiritual dude that believes, you know, God gives you what you can handle. And a lot of people think that means stress. Like, God will only give you so much stress you can handle. It's like. Yeah, I think it's the other way around. It's usually like, blessings like how. What can you steward? Well, and what are you ready to take on yeah. Because a lot of times we are stressed beyond belief.

[KFC]

And I was gonna say God misunderstood how much I can handle.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah, it's like, like, it's like most people are juggling, you know, and that's the other thing about Hollywood being out of touch sometimes with regular, genuine people is like we can sometimes magnify problems as if they're these big problems and they're not. Most people are trying to. Most people can't afford organic vegetables and fruits and they're dealing with their dad's hospice bills and they hate their boss and are looking to transition but have no options. It's like, that's a real life thing. But I think, like, in my case, I've been very lucky that I felt like God teed me up to do things when I was ready for them because I wanted them years ago. But I wasn't ready. I was arrogant or I was immature or I just hadn't learned enough yet.

[John]

But he's also. He's teed you up pretty well for a long time. Because I was talking about the big G man. Yeah. When we were thinking.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

When you're talking Vitalik underlined, we were.

[John]

Talking about the, you know, your original plan where you wanted to do Tish and then SNL and all that stuff. And I thought that was interesting that you obviously didn't do snl, but I would say that you have done the three generation defining comedies of the current era. Like between. I would say Sunny, Keen, Peele and I think you should leave.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Oh, wow.

[John]

Like, those are three sets. It was a different path and be involved with. Of like.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

No. And that meant a lot to me to get to do stuff that I was a fan of previous to booking.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[John]

Particularly I think you should leave because the sketch connection. But like, Sunny to me is like, I grew up with Sunny. Like, I think people talk about how they grew up with snl. Well, yeah, a huge thing. And like to be on those sets in that at such a young age. Because you did Sonny before you left LA after Sunny.

[KFC]

How old are you right now?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah, I was. I'm 38, but I.

[KFC]

You're young.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I did. It's always Sunny. My first year in la. My first year in la, I booked like four jobs and it was very, very successful, at least on paper, where it was like, my booking ratio was good, but I didn't know how to manage money and I was a freaking idiot. I was like buying 12 paninis at cafes and drinking beer all the time. And you buying, like, I bought a Benz and I. When you're. But when you're in. When you're living in LA and the cost of living so bad, you may as well be buying it. My Maserati was a 15 sandwich, bacon and arugula.

[John]

But.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

But no, I, you know, I. I very much prided myself on being comedy capable and then getting to do Key and Peele Community. It's always sunny. Unbreakable. Kimmy Schmidt, Reno 91 1. I think you should leave Cobra Kai. Where I'm doing comedy there, like, that has been. So I take a lot of pride in. In showing up in comedies and trying to crush it.

[John]

Right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Because I love comedy so much. It's so near and dear to me that it's a big deal for me to get to do those. Sometimes. I'm reaching out. We're like, I just saw that show. What's the new show on Netflix with Kristen Bell and Adam?

[John]

Nobody wants.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Nobody wants this. Yeah. My wife and I watched it, loved it, and I called my reps immediately. I'm like, I'm texting Tim Simons and Kristen Bell and people I know on the show, and I'm like, I will do any. Any guest star on that show. Please put me on the chat. Because if I'm a fan, do it. If I'm a fan, I'm just gonna put it out there. You never. You never know if they'll call you or something. GLOW was the one I really wanted.

[John]

Wanted Guy, too, right?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

What?

[John]

You're Mark Marin Guy.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Oh, I adore him.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Adore Mark Mary. Great actor, by the way. He's always so, like, down on himself. Like, you know, I act sometimes. It's like, dude, you're an actor.

[John]

Yeah, stop.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Like, Like Todd Phillips. And these people are, like, casting you and stuff, and they could cast anyone they cast because you're good.

[KFC]

Yeah. It sounds like you're really, like, a student of the game.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Very much so, yeah. Yeah. The way Michael Jordan is driving. I'm gonna take a million of these while it's dark. Like, I was that way with. I'm gonna watch a Cindy Lumet film. I'm gonna read a script. I'm gonna read this Meisner book. I'm gonna study snl. Like, it was just.

[KFC]

And then. And then, like, even. Just the desire. It's like, I want to do these things. I'll. You know, I'm sure there are people who, you know, that's. That I won't. I won't make enough money doing that or that's not worth my time. Or whatever. But it's like if you really love it and you want to do a guest spot and you. And you see the value and you know all these things. It's like that, I think is how you build like a foundation to then be ready to pop when, when, when the big G man gives you the chance. It's like I've been, you know, I've got my, you know, 10,000 hours in or whatever, whatever little thing you want to call it, like I'm ready to go.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I think some of it is also self amusement. Like a lot of the things I do are because I actually like them.

[KFC]

Yeah, that's a huge part too. If you're doing it for the wrong reasons or like, you know, I thought.

[John]

That was very clear in the. I believe it went viral. I don't know, the clip of you on Rick Glassman show. When you got inside out too, it was very cool that you were like, I'm having a moment right now. And like. Because I really enjoy what I do. And I think you said like some people would not have this or I forget what you said. But it's kind of beautiful in a sense where you were like, this matters a lot to me. And I'm just taking this in.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah, it did. And it was a. It was a. It was the smallest role in the whole film, but it was like, it was. You know, there's a Bible verse that says, better is one day in God's courts than a thousand elsewhere. I'd rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. And I think that's kind of. That sums up me in film and television. I would rather be a doorkeeper in a dope show or movie.

[John]

Right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Then be the star of something that sucks.

[KFC]

Yeah, right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And maybe makes money. But it's like got a 20 run tomato.

[John]

And then you're never gonna make any.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Money again because there's something dishonest about that. You can't say you love amelay and then you're making Fast and Furious 30.

[John]

Well, hang on.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Like.

[John]

You can get the out, sir.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

You technically can. But to me there's something weirdly dishonest about it. It's like, it's like, like saying you're gonna go to a Michelin restaurant and then you're like hawking corn syrup to kids. Yeah, there's just something a little off about it. And it's not as damning as that. Obviously. Go make whatever movie you want. Make a movie about. Well, it Is funny sex.

[KFC]

There's two sides to it that I. There's two sides to it that I like equally. Respect is like someone being like, this is all so silly. We're just like pretending in front of cameras. And there's more important things in life, you know? Right. And it's like, and I. People think I happen to be good at it, or people think I'm good looking and so I get these roles or whatever it might be and they're kind of like, meh, this is crazy. I, I respect that. I. But almost, you know, on the other side of the spectrum, but the equal amount of respect, I mean, probably a little bit more, is taking it as serious as you do, where it's like, I'm going to. I think so many people don't want to try. You know what I mean? Like, or like they want to perceive that they're not trying and they don't care and all that. And it's like, no, I care about this. I'm practicing it. I'm learn, I want to learn it. I. And then, because obviously the whole thing is when you fail doing that, you look like an idiot. You know, if I don't care, I can't fail. But it's like, no, it's, it's not cool to not try, you know?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

No. And in no other facet of work would that be seemingly acceptable. Yeah, you don't want a locksmith who's like, oh, maybe door works. I think like, you know, my wife and I talk about it a lot. My wife uses the term excellence. She says, we want to do things with excellence. So if we have people over at our house and it, we're just putting out a charcuterie board, it's going to be the best charcuterie board we can make. And we're gonna have five kinds of meats and chocolate mousse or whatever.

[KFC]

Some preserves, maybe some preserves.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Preserves make a big difference for sure.

[John]

I remember my boss yelling at me when I was young and a bad worker. Like, I was probably like 17. And he was like, he was like, if you and I had like, you know, a 17 year old level job, I was like, on a boat. I like cleaned a boat and I didn't clean it well one night. And he was like, you think this is all you do? You think this is like, who cares about this? He's like, but you know, if it doesn't matter if you're a toilet cleaner, someone is going to notice you clean that toilet well.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Oh, interesting.

[John]

And I was like, that's pretty good way to put it. Okay, I'll start, I'll start trying. Good point.

[KFC]

So you scrub the. Out of the toilet, man.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I love.

[John]

No, and there's excellence. Like do it so people will notice that the fucking. Someone tried doing this.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And I think the bad version is when we get our, when we get our. What is the word I want to. When we feel our worth or value is in our excellence.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Because then you're just saying like, I only matter if I'm great at something. And it's like, well, that's not good.

[John]

Yes.

[KFC]

And especially when you start factoring in feedback and outside people talking and it's like, you know, that's why I go.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

To the self amusement. Because I'm like, even if like I had this producer, I won't say his name, but this big time producer guy who's worked on some big stuff approached me in sort of a scummy way at this award show. And he was like, he was like, hey, why do you do that Cobra Kai show? You're like an award winning actor now. And I was like, I do it because they pay me well to have fun and do comedy.

[John]

Right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And people love the show globally. And when I go to an airport, little kids are tugging on their parents jackets going, is that stingray? Like, yeah, it's adorable. It's fun, it's cool. It's like, oh, I just made this nine year old's day by taking a selfie in the.

[KFC]

Also, you know, it's, it's, it's on. It's like sixth season of a Netflix show. It's not like you picked some garbage.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I get what I said when it was still YouTube Red. But like it's that idea though of like, it's funny that his purview is that this is beneath you. And I'm like, that not if it's good. And I'm having a blast. So that's like my dream with wrestling is like, I would love to, I would love to be a tag team champion in MLW by 2026, but also be working with Aronofsky or the Coen brothers or whoever now.

[KFC]

Is there a problem with that though? Like, like what happens the day that you get a role and then you like break your arm wrestling and it's like, now I can't do this role.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

That I, you know, let's hope that doesn't happen.

[KFC]

Yeah, I don't want to put that.

[John]

You made a face. Like I even considered that.

[KFC]

Is your manager ever like, we gotta Cut this restless out, bro.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I mean, I mean, I don't think they love it, but they're supportive of me and they know that the way I talk to my wife and reps about it is this. I say I'm taking calculated risks.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I'm not Jeff Hardy. You will not see me climb a 12 foot ladder into a Swanton bomb through a table.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Like, there's no reason for me to do that. But I can learn how to take and give suplexes and get clotheslined off the apron and do. Do. Yeah. And do a Boston Crab. Like, I can do that. And. And that's also where, like, you know, some people are like, what's. We don't watch Paul Houser wrestle? And it's like, well, look at the world of hip hop. They're not all created equal. There's an Earl sweatshirt and there's a Most Deaf and there's a common. Then there's Run the Jewels and then there's Despot and then there's Kendrick. It's like there's all these different flavors and types of things that in wrestling, not everybody needs to be doing a Huracan Rana off a ladder through a flaming table. Some of us like doing Russian leg sweeps and backbreakers. Like, that is okay. It's okay to do that.

[KFC]

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[John]

I've become such a hot sauce guy. It's like, it's a real problem, bro.

[KFC]

I love.

[John]

I'm like Hillary Clinton. Like, I got it in my bag, dude.

[KFC]

Once you find one you really like. This has the Serrano lime in it. Like, it's not, to me, hot sauce, you know, it's not just about hot. You got to have like the flavoring, you know. Yeah, I like the spice, but the flavoring is really where. Where they get me. And Pepper palace has all sorts of different flavors. Here's the Serrano lime is one of my favorites. They got the fiery heat if you're like a crazy person who, you know, wants to set your mouth on fire. And then they got the, the regular ones. So from wild to mild, Pepper palace has got you covered. They have over 90 retail stores where you can can go and try a sample of all of their different flavors before you buy them or you can just order them online. Get the seasonings, get the wing sauces, salsas. Not just hot sauce. It's any sort of I guess we'll call it condiment, right? Yeah, condiments.

[John]

Condiment. We start getting blurry.

[KFC]

Salsa.

[John]

Salsa, dip.

[KFC]

You know, not quite a condiment.

[John]

I'll say. I'll call comment. It can be used in condiments.

[KFC]

Yeah. Yes. So save 20 right now. When you use promo code KFC, you can visit them in store or shop online. And like I said, if you go in person, you can test them out or go to pepperpalace.com, use promo code KFC and get 20 off any of your condiments. I. I take it you're a hip hop fan the way you're speaking about that.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I am not. Not in the sense that you can quiz me and I'm gonna be like, that was 1993. But I. There's no one I have more respect for than Kendrick Lamar. And that was way before the last couple albums. I just think that guy is living right and he's doing it his way very much on a self amusement and self preservation kick of like keeping himself unpolluted from the world.

[KFC]

So then what do you think about Drake?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I think he's a very talented guy who's probably wildly immature and needs to have the growth that someone like Kendrick has had.

[John]

Two pretty good answers.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It's fair to call someone.

[John]

I'm not much of a hip hop guy, so I don't really know that world that well, but I'd say those are two good answers.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I listen to everything. I love. I love country, I love hip hop. I love the occasional pop. I can bop to Miley Cyrus, flowers. But I'm also bopping to Johnny Mathis, and I'm also bopping to, you know, Rage Against Machine. Machine.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

So I'm. I'm back to this Farley thing. Because I'm the following, because I'm.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Can we talk about how fresh that hat is, by the way?

[KFC]

This one.

[John]

It's a nice hat.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

That's Christmas.

[John]

I noticed that we've been recording earlier. It's a good hat. It's.

[KFC]

It's also like my, my teams. It's tough. I'm a Mets, Knicks guy and big, like blue and orange hats or, you know, sometimes it's hard to wear. I don't know. I like that. It's like a little muted.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

For color coordination or for getting crap from other fans.

[KFC]

More like color coordinate. It's just like this, this hat I could wear out.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It doesn't work with everything.

[KFC]

Yeah. Well, this hat. So every Father's Day, my kids get me a Mets hat and I Think their mother just does not even try to get the right size hat for me anymore. So.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

He's a seven and five.

[KFC]

Eight. Seven eighths, bro. I think I'm like seven and a quarter. But it's nice to have one that, like, fits me.

[John]

And.

[KFC]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

No, Farley. Sorry.

[KFC]

Yeah, I just, you know, he. To me, I'm, you know, going back to NBA Jam. I'm. I'm a, like, 90s nostalgic freak. And I think, you know, that era is amazing. It's my own. I love it, you know, And I just think Farley is probably the greatest what if, you know, ever.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah.

[KFC]

And I, you know, I think they've tried to fill that role with other people, and some people are great, too, but I don't think it would have been anything. And then. But then I go to, like, you know, was he that way because of all his demons? Like, is it. You know, it could go a million different ways with him. I think he's fast. Well.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

But he was brilliantly funny before he dealt with fame and all the stuff in New York that, you know, I. I think. I think he was getting into the drugging stuff in Chicago. I don't think that the drugs were as prevalent back in Wisconsin for him.

[KFC]

Right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

But. But he was funny back then. I. So I think he was funny because he was funny. But I think, you know, the. Yeah, the demons were just completely out of control. And you gotta believe the other thing is, too. I had to make a conscious decision for myself because all the guys I grew up loving, Jim Carrey and Robin Williams and Chris Farley, these guys also are pretty open about dealing with drugs and alcohol and depression and. And, you know, feeling like they have to be on like. Like, I have to entertain people all the time. It's like. I remember I was working at a summer camp and there was a night where everybody was paired up. On this night out, you get one night out a week to, like, blow off steam and go to dinner and hang out with your buddies instead of watching the kids, you know, And I was with a bunch of staff members, and all the guys and girls are paired up. And I'm like, the odd man out with no one to, like, snuggle under a blanket with by the riverbed or whatever we were doing. And I remember this girl said, make us laugh, Paul. And that feeling of like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I already feel terrible.

[KFC]

Yeah, it was very much.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

You're a monkey, Derek. Dance, like from Zoolander. And I just remember feeling that and going, I Never want to feel that again.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And that moment at 16 or 17 really helped me start to slowly pull away from being the wind up thing.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And I got better at it as I got older because I still. I'm three years sober, too. I was. I was very much following in the footsteps of Farley, of just like, my weight got up to £330 at one point. I was smoking weed like every. Every other day. Like it was just normal and just binge eating, binge drinking. Everything was fun. But it was only made more fun if I was loaded.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And so like all my heroes, Chris Farley, Philip Seymour Hoffman, it's like these. These guys are all going down this similar path. So I thank God I. I had a pivot, but I. I could have been in that same exact boat.

[KFC]

I think Farley was the king of. You know, make me laugh. Right. It was like.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Or at least he felt that he had to at all times.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And also, like, screw those people. That also made him feel that way and didn't just have a level of respect and just were like, can you take your shirt off and jump in that snowbank? Screw those people.

[John]

It's funny you said the snowbank. I may. I'm sure you've read the same book. I read it back in college and I forget what it was called, but it was like a collection of stories by Farley's friends where it was, I.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Think the Chris Farley Show. Yeah.

[John]

Yes.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

That's the basis for our movie.

[John]

Okay. So I was gonna mention to you a part of it that again, I'm sure you're aware of because it sounded like what you were just describing. I think Chris Rock in it explains that the Chippendale sketch was where we lost Farley for good.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah. He and Odenkirk and a few people are very vocal about that.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

I remember hearing.

[John]

Was it Odenkirk?

[KFC]

Maybe another one set the tone for his comedy identity.

[John]

Yeah. I think Chris Rock. I think if I remember that book correctly, I remember reading it in class, which probably wasn't great by why I didn't finish college, but I was reading it in class and this. That line stuck out was like. That line was where. That sketch was where we lost Chris.

[KFC]

Forever because he was, like, uncomfortable.

[John]

Fuck that sketch.

[KFC]

But like. And was the dance literal? The literal dancing?

[John]

Yeah, it was with him and Swayze.

[KFC]

No, but yeah, I know the sketch. I'm saying, like, he didn't. Because it was just like a. Look at me, I'm fat and dancing. Like.

[John]

Yeah, I think he was the.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

But it was so fun.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

The joke wasn't the conceit or concept. It was your. And. And really, what. What if people go back and watch that and they go, farley is sexy and he is cool. And it's funny because he's big, but it's also funny because he's so agile.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It's like, in a way, he is holding his own.

[KFC]

Yes. Yes.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And so, like, that becomes part of the endearing humor. And it's not just a pincushion sketch.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

But of course, if you're impressionable and you're an addict, you're going to feed into that. That's going to. You know, you won't have that kind of confidence. And I always had the. I have some weird dogged confidence, competitive streak in me that, like, I'm not saying I'm as good as anyone at all, but I'm saying I'm dying to work with DiCaprio and Denzel and those guys. But it's not because I'm just a fanboy. It's because I want to. I want to steal the ball from Jordan. Yeah.

[KFC]

I was going to say, part of me is, like, on the court with.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

These guys, part of me is literally like, watch me hold my own.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And that competitive thing, which is, like, the athlete's mentality for an artistic person, it's like, I think that's a good thing. And I wish Farley had had more of that, to not have been like, oh, maybe someday I'll be Belushi, but I'm better than Belushi, right?

[John]

Yeah. Right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Because I think that that helps us survive a little.

[KFC]

I was gonna say, then you. Then you start to think long term, and you start to think, I can't do this.

[John]

And was it that book as well, with that has the Lorne Michaels quote where he talks about how he, like, sat Farley down to give him kind of a lesson. And it was something along the lines of, like, belushi was fucked up for the 60th. I might get the decades wrong, but he's, like, up for the 60s. Doesn't remember the 70s, didn't make it out of the 80s. Like, don't be that.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah, no, he. He had a couple, like, come to Jesus, come to Lauren moments where he wanted to break through to him. And he did for a time. I mean, I think Chris had two and a half years of sobriety at one point before Black Sheep. And I think Black Sheep was what really derailed him. The movie he didn't really want to do it, and it didn't go the way he wanted and, you know, turn.

[KFC]

Turn to the demons again. Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And, dude, I'm three years sober, and granted, I have a wife and kids. It's different.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

But if I had a movie, I started not go well. I like to. I like to think. I think it's one day at a time, but I like to think that I wouldn't relapse over being disappointed in a movie.

[John]

Yeah, right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

If anything, I'm gonna go do a hardcore match with Sammy Callan. We're gonna be. Beat the piss out of each other.

[KFC]

Like, well, but you know what? Honestly, that. That, you know, it's not the healthiest thing when. When they say, you know, you kind of swap one addiction for another sort of like that. But if you channel it in a way where it's like, maybe he didn't have that, you know, maybe. Maybe if Chris Farley was wrestling on the independent circuit, it would be like, I'm gonna go do that. And. And when you don't.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

To your. To your point. I love what you said, though. Like, it is the great what if?

[KFC]

Where I think he would have been like, imagine Chris the number one in.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

A movie, like Anchorman.

[KFC]

Right, right, right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Imagine Chris doing the Fatty Arbuckle drama and playing a historical figure and getting an Oscar.

[KFC]

Yeah. I think he would have been the guy who does. He would have had a run. Like, I don't think he would have been in Anchorman. I think he would have been instead of Will Ferrell. Would have been, you know, his time to shine. Right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Like another character.

[KFC]

I think he's the guy who, like, 20 years after that, he could have been drama. And then you go, oh, shit, this guy can really act.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Phil Hartman, too. I'll say something that bothers me is the same way Bill Murray and Bob Odenkirk have had dramatic moments in an otherwise comedy status career. I think Phil Hartman could have had his Better Call song.

[KFC]

Almost. That's almost. Yeah. More heartbreaking in a different direction.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

The way it went.

[John]

Just as dark he was. He was so good that, like, as a. As a child, I remember watching, like, Jingle all the Way, and I was like, this guy is un.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Get this Schwarzenegger guy off the screen.

[John]

Get more of this guy.

[KFC]

So wait for the Farley movie. Does it have the, like, cosign of the. Of the Farley crew, You know, the. The Sandlers and the Spades and all those guys. I know they're kind of, like, protective over him. In a way, I feel like.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And they are for the right reasons. It's not for the wrong reasons that they very much. I mean, we've had conversations with Spade and Sandler and Tim Meadows and those guys, and I think part of them is, is they're not thrilled about it because they're like, they're a little concerned about, like, is this going to be a sob fest or is this a celebration of Chris? But what I think got people on board now, including the family, is that we are trying to reintroduce Chris to a whole new era of people, and we are trying to celebrate him in a victory lap of like. Like, it's not just this dead comedian, it's this, this light that burned out too quickly. And this light can also be rebulbed, at least from the. The rewatchable standpoint of teach your kids about Chris Farley. And yeah, there's a lesson there about like, self worth and addiction stuff and being safer with yourself, but also, like, in a dark world, it's. The world is the darkest it's ever been. Yeah, we need a Chris Farley right now. We need Chris. We need freaking Shrek 5. Like, give us something to freaking breathe out and believe in and enjoy. Because we're so distracted from the onslaught, we don't realize that we've been psychologically recalibrated in a way that we're not even aware of the way we grew up, the three of us. How old are you guys? In your early 40s? Oof.

[John]

That hurt.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Well, I only said it because. I only said it because he looked at me like I was a whippersnap. I said, 38. He's like, oh, you're young. Lights up a pipe and starts reading.

[KFC]

Guidelines at the same age. And you've done a lot fucking more than me, brother.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I'm sure there are a lot of things you've done that I haven't done, but I very much. I feel as though we're just in a place right now where we don't know the repercussions long term of having the 24 hour news cycle, having the Twitter, having people giving criticism in real time constantly, as if they have any expertise or any logical reason to be giving criticism. It's messing us up and our children will be. It will be their new norm. It'll be their. Their like life.

[KFC]

I'm hoping it goes back the other way. You know that I don't think you.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Can put toothpaste back.

[KFC]

It's one of those things that it's huge.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Unless you have things to distract and you have positive voices that aren't just like freaking pop stars, like shaking their groin in front of a vehicle and throwing money into a crowd. Like I. If we can have the Chris Farleys and the poets and the, the people that start clothing lines out of their garage and like the dreamers, that is, that is hopefully what can embolden people rather than just, we're living vicariously and then we're. I made a career out of talking about other careers on TikTok. It's like that's, that's what we want to get away from. We want young people to know that they have a voice that we need to hear rather than you're going to be part of the cacophony of people criticizing other voices.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It's like, shut the hell up. Don't make something before you tell anybody how to do anything.

[KFC]

Yeah. So if you had to pick, let's say, what would you say? Let's just call it like to be the. Win. Win the belt at WrestleMania.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Whoa.

[KFC]

Win a Oscar win or Emmys, don't care. The same clout. But let's say you have like a, a TV show that is, you know, a eight season classic, you know, something like that. So basically the pinnacle in television, pinnacle in movies, pinnacle in wrestling. What. In what order would you put those things?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Oh, man, there are men and women and folks who have worked way harder than me in the wrestling world who I think deserve those championships and those opportunities far more than me. So I would put that at the bottom. Even though secretly that's a desire to someday be good enough.

[KFC]

Yeah. Like, what if you got there? What if you did it? Like I said, when I say the pinnacle, meaning, like, so then you do this for 20 more years and you pay your dues and the fans love you, and so that belt is actually earned. Would that be the most.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

If 10 years from now I was holding an intercontinental championship in wwe, it'd be the coolest thing in the world. Or in AEW and I'm their TNT championship, which is what Brodie Lee and Cody Rhodes and all these great guys have had. That'd be unbelievable. Mlw, like to be the open weight champion in MLW or to be a tag team champion, that company would be incredible. Yeah. So I. Yeah, no, I mean, I guess I have the Golden Globe in the Emmy. For me it would, for me it would be. I'm working with your criteria here. This isn't. I didn't. I think it would go. I Think it would go a wrestling championship number one and Oscar number two. And then maybe like spoken word or comedy Grammy number three.

[KFC]

Hell yeah.

[John]

The Emmys have been there. Been there, done that, got the teacher.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I also, I also make. I also make music. I. I put out a.

[KFC]

All right, off.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I put out a. I'm not saying it's good. It's like saying like, yeah, I have two kids doesn't mean I know how to make love. Well, I just got someone pregnant twice. No, it's.

[KFC]

It's the idea of.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I. I put out a hip hop EP two years ago under the name Signet Ringer and it's called Murder for Hire. But higher is spelled H I G H E R. And it's sort of.

[KFC]

Like, what's the meaning of that name? Signet. What is it?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Signet Ringer.

[KFC]

What does that mean?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Like a signet ring is one of those rings where it can make an impression. Like, okay, a king would put ink in it and mark stuff.

[KFC]

Okay.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Ringer, of course, being like someone sort of incognito.

[KFC]

Sure.

[John]

Yeah. And how did that, how was that received?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I don't know that it was received much at all. Just because it didn't like have some big moment in general to, to even be received. But I put it out and I enjoyed making it.

[KFC]

I was gonna say I would love to do something like that. Like, yeah, no, I thought about it, but like, just. And I, I literally would not care if a single person listened to it.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

But if it's.

[KFC]

I just want to be like in the studio and work with. You know what I mean? And just like, I did that, I think you should.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

You also have an audience which a lot of people don't have. So like, even whether it's well received or not, you should honor the fact that you have that interest and you have a built in audience with which immediately you have ears. Because, I mean, that's what people want.

[John]

That's what.

[KFC]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

No, kill for an audience.

[KFC]

Amen, brother.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Several hundred thousand people.

[John]

I got a question for you. I've heard you refer to yourself as a character actor a number of times. What is, where does it change? Because like, I would call, I'd call you an actor where, like, what is it? What is a character?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I think a lot of it's insecurity and self deprecation.

[John]

Okay, there's the answer.

[KFC]

I know that game well.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

You know, I want to be as good as Denzel and Robert Duvall and DiCaprio. I want to be as good as them. But Also, I feel like until. Until I look more like a leading man and I drop weight after Farley and until people start giving me more opportunities to do something different and not just play dark. Ne'er do Wells. Yeah. But I feel like. I wonder if that's. I don't know that I'll ever feel that way. Obviously.

[John]

Okay. I. Well, if my helps at all.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

By the way, by the way, my favorite actors, we talked about it earlier with Sam Rockwell, Michael Shannon. Most of my favorite actors are not the guys on the COVID of People and everything.

[KFC]

Yeah. It's funny you said, because I don't think you need that necessarily to lose weight and look like a certain way.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I want to lose weight so I don't die selfishly. I'm also like, yeah, maybe all. You know.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[John]

It reminds me of I saw once. I think I forget where I saw it. But someone. Someone said like, I like how we invented a phrase that just describes good actors rather than people who got the job because they're hot.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And there's obviously some truth.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

But yeah, no, the guy. The guys I grew up loving were. The guys I grew up loving were not freaking all star hot dudes.

[John]

Right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

You know, they were. They were Phil Hoffman, Paul Giamatti, Michael Shannon, Sam Rockwell, regular dude, Peter Sarsgaard.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And now the guys that still the SARS guard. So it's incredible. And. And the guys that I'm continually impressed with are still sort of like normal looking, not. Not ungood looking, but normal looking actors like. Like Mahershala Ali, Mads Mickelson from Another Round.

[KFC]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Who's the guy I just worked with? Stephen Graham. You guys know Stephen Graham?

[John]

No. Oh, my God, Stephen Graham.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

He's so good, man. He's been in a lot of gangs in New York. Boardwalk Empire. I saw him in a movie called Boiling Point. It's one single shot.

[John]

Oh, yeah, I know this guy. He's great.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Following a kitchen crew on an important night in the restaurant. He's brilliant.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

But once again, these are not guys on the COVID of People.

[KFC]

You're not winning Sexiest Man Alive, right?

[John]

Do you think we. I'm thinking about it now, like current era. I feel like we have pretty actors, but I feel like when we were growing up, you had to have abs and pecs and like, like a lot of the guys.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I think you're right. It was more constructed.

[John]

Like you were like Jack. Like McConaughey. We talked about like people more Jack. Whereas now you have like lordy and Chalamet. And Butler, who are obviously not like, they're pretty, they're handsome, good looking people, but they're not like, they don't look like a GI Joe in a case.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

No, no. I think. I think the GI Joe guys are, you know, Jeremy Allen White got into.

[KFC]

They're not. Until they are.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Oh, shit. You can do that too.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Channing Tatum, Gosling. But those guys are also high talented too.

[John]

Yeah, those. But though they're also. I think they're probably all in their mid-40s.

[KFC]

Right.

[John]

I think of them more as our generation rather than guys.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I think the guys that make the most noise are guys that just do the. The work in general. I think Chalamet does the work.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I think Paul Dano doesn't work. Jesse Plemons. Every time I see him pop up, I'm like, grateful.

[John]

Every time I see Plumbers, I don't recognize him. Every time he pops up, he looks like a completely different person.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

His weight fluctuates. He's got some Christian Bale in his. Yeah. No, I. But I love what I do. I'm so spoiled and like. And you guys love what you. You're doing your freaking dream job, or at least one of them, amongst other things you want to try. And I would encourage people, like, and maybe this is obvious, but I'll say it for those that don't know it's obvious. Like, I'm not special. I'm just someone who worked really hard at what they loved and they didn't give up. And one day God said, eastwood's gonna call you and offer you Richard Jewel.

[KFC]

Was that the breaking. Was that the, like the breakout role?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah, I think, I think I time. I think.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I did a show called Kingdom, which was about MMA fighters. That was kind of my, like, earning my associate's degree, my bachelor degree was kind of like I tanya through Richard Jewel.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And suddenly people know your face.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

They don't know your name, but they know your face.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And then because still to this day, people don't know my name.

[John]

Airport.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Can you not say the bomber, please?

[John]

But.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

But I think with Blackbird, it was like, I started my first year now in my master's program, and it's like the next four or five years I'm trying to earn my master's degree doing these other projects and eventually producing and directing, you know.

[KFC]

And so now you're doing what, Eric Bischoff's One Shot?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I am.

[KFC]

That is, dude.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Mlw. I was just doing a interview with Bischoff and I. Bischoff is, you know.

[KFC]

I mean, the, the Monday Night Wars.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I mean, he was there, right there.

[KFC]

Neck and neck with Vince McMahon. Obviously, Vince is the name that, like, Eric Bischoff.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Was that dude incredibly influential. Yeah. Great mind for the business, for sure. And. And I was just kind of like, egging him on. Like, the. One of the main things I wanted to ask him, and I. I was just like, it. Would you ever do this again? Like, why don't you? Because he talks so much about what he doesn't like in wrestling.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It's like, then do it. Do the thing that you know how to do so well, and he hasn't done it. So I. It was funny that it just kind of organically came together. Core power, like, immediately was like, yeah, I listen to this podcast all the time. Let's do it. It became a thing very quickly. They had a graphic up, like, hours later. It was hilarious.

[John]

It's funny. I was doing some research for this podcast, and I was. I was driving home back to New York yesterday from Massachusetts, where I'm from, and I was like, I listened to a podcast and I just. I was driving, or is it a red light? And I just typed Paul Walter Hauser into Spotify and just clicked play on the first podcast that popped up. And the second, I don't really know Eric Bischoff, the second he started talking, I went, this is a wrestling podcast. I just. It was. I forget exactly what it was called, but it was. And you also have the wrestling voice, too, where it's like, it could go football, it could go wrestling.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

The voice. Yeah.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Oh, this is a wrestling voice all day.

[John]

Yeah. Much.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Much to my own insecurity and detriment. Yeah, this is a wrestling voice. If it, if it was. If it was a football voice, it would have to sound more sure of itself and a little. A little more masculine. There's a little bit of a back of the throat Muppet voice going on here, too. Yeah, you're not going to hear that on, on, you know, Rich Eisen show, man.

[KFC]

You do it all, dude. You're. You're unbelievable. It's. I, I would say, you know, good luck and, and. But I don't think you need it, man. I think you. You're working hard enough, and it's all going your way for a reason.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

As long as I stay sober and I'm accountable to my wife and kids and, and my loved ones that I think everything will fall into place. And for anybody watching who's like, you do all the Stuff just. You do all the stuff like nothing is stopping you. Just get weird and love yourself enough to pursue something.

[KFC]

Get weird and love yourself. Words to live by, man.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Grab. Grab the bottle. A lotion. Get weird.

[John]

I have. That's such a perfect note to end on. I hate that. I have two more quick questions.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

One, grab the Cetaphil. Sorry.

[John]

You know, I didn't use cetaphil for a long time because it sounded too.

[KFC]

It sounds like prescription.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Sounds like you're contracting something the moment you turn the thing up in the hospital.

[John]

If I use this, like, I go dry. But the. Your child, I believe. I believe, was your son, Harris.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah.

[John]

First acting debut at five weeks old.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah.

[John]

I'd always wondered where in. Where they get infants in movies and TV shows are they usually buy them? Like, they have a basement of them in a storyline. Are those. Are they usually, like, someone on set or someone. One of the actors. Are they usually. Someone's gay? Like, because a toddler can act, but I always think, like, an infant is. You don't really. They're not going out for roles.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I know. I think. I think it's about proximation to someone in production.

[John]

Okay.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Where it's like, oh, my friend Janine just had her baby eight weeks ago. We need a newborn. Let's. We can make that work.

[John]

Okay.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

For me, it was. My wife was strolling by production office with our son three weeks after he was born, just seeing producer buddies of hers. And the producers were just like, we actually need a baby for the movie. And. And my. My son is a boy, but played a girl in the scene with Josh Duhamel and Eliza Cuthbert.

[John]

Alicia Cuthbert. Yeah. Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And. And, like, my wife was there watching behind the monitor, and Mel Gibson was there playing a supporting role, and he's like, man, that baby photographs well. It's a beautiful child. My wife is like, this. Is it. Like, it's in the bloodline? Yeah.

[KFC]

Is there. Is there money involved for that?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Oh, I don't even know if we got paid.

[KFC]

But, like, because you guys. But, like, if. If you were to be like, put your kids up for audition or whatever, like, would you get paid for something like that or is it.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

No, I think so.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I think in usual circumstances. Yeah. I'm gonna say, like, in my movies, Ron Howard and some of these guys put their family members in their movies all the time. And part of it is, like, they're gonna have SAG insurance because they did two movies a year for every year. So, you know.

[John]

Right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Whatever. So I'm sure I'll. I'll be throwing my kids or family members and stuff too, the way literal Nepo baby. And honestly, it's just. It's the idea of having fun. When you go make your movies and you're successful enough to make your movies, you throw in your cousin Steven. I won't give a crap. I'll be very happy for cousin Steve.

[John]

And then the second question I had, and this is a very quick one, but the. I saw the behind the scenes of you on Sunny, and I don't know how I even talked to that episode's gone now. I don't know if you remember seeing Paul and Sonny because he's a Juggalo.

[KFC]

Right.

[John]

But the, like, it seemed like they were kind of letting you riff and whatnot. And that was your first ever role, like, whatever.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Televised TV role.

[John]

Televised TV role. What was that like? Like, because you were a Sunny fan, you said, right?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah, big time. I was. I was going to a tiny college in Oak Park, River Forest, Illinois, called Concordia. And it was one of those Christian colleges where, like, if you're a pastor's kid and you got A's, B's, season D's, you can get in or whatever. And I went and stopped going to class and became friends with Key and Peele. Before they were Keen Peele, Mad TV had gotten canceled and I was repped for screenwriting out in la. So their manager was like, do you want to write the script for them? So I was like, getting wasted and partying and writing a movie for Keen Peele. And I dropped out of school and was just living on campus and eating off my meal plan and. Hell yeah. And just chilling. And while there. Wait, what was the question? This all added up to something.

[John]

Who cares about the question?

[KFC]

Well, the question was like being. I think was like being on.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Oh, Sunny. So. But. But around that time, this is. We're talking March, April of 2009, I was watching It's Always Sunny, drinking Keystone Label, My buddies in our underwear, like, sitting on the floor of somebody's dorm.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

A year later, I'm auditioning for the show in la and I booked it. So. And, you know, suddenly you're getting paid five grand to do four or five scenes in a show with your comedy heroes at that time.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

So it was gnarly. And. And this is a great thing to end on because it's prevalent to what's happening now on that show. I was very reverential to those guys, but I followed my instincts and I improvised without getting permission if there's.

[KFC]

I'm good enough to hang with these guys. Right.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Once again, trying to prove that you're good enough to hang and you can dribble the ball with Jordan. And. And. And it worked out. And they liked that I was improvising and they invited it and it made them break character once or twice.

[John]

They're dying.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

There are other outtakes. They don't show that, like it was me making Charlie laugh or him making me laugh. You also look.

[John]

You're. You're a big guy, but you're not a big guy. You look so much bigger than Charlie in that. In this.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

That was me when I was like 325, 330. I'm down to about 265 right now. 260. But. But that. That's the plan. After Farley, I plan to take it all off Chris Pratt style.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Okay. It's all coming off.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

All coming off. It's gonna be a whole.

[KFC]

What's it. What's the Fantastic Four role?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah. So the director of that episode of Sunny remembered me from It's Always Sunny and saw me and I. Tanya and saw me in Blackbird and maybe two or three other things. And. And he offered me a part in Fantastic Four. So I'm in that movie. I can't talk about what the involvement is per say, but. But it's in a capacity where, I mean, I'm in at least part of the movie. And. And it's from the comic books, like a character that's been established. And it's a. I'm really proud of what we did in the short time I was on that set. You know, the main. Main characters were there for months and months.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And it's a huge undertaker taking huge. And I got to come in and play and do my thing. And. And I was really. I really had a blast. Matt Shackman is such a supportive director and that. That cast and that script and the production design, everything I got to see and be a part of, made me think this is one of the more special superhero offerings, really. I think I'm getting. I think I get to be in a good one. Like a really good one.

[KFC]

Any one of these things we've talked about today would probably be like a career definer or a high point. High peak, High water. And you're doing like all of them in. In a couple years span. It's amazing.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Naked Gun Pete. Fairly dude. Do you see Springsteen and Fantastic Four? It's just stupid.

[KFC]

But.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

But that's what I mean. When I say like self amusement, I didn't. A lot of these products fell into my lap. Yeah, somebody fell out of the Liam Neeson naked gun thing.

[KFC]

Yeah, but you're there, you know, it's the old.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

So it's like. It is that thing of just ready opportunity, you know?

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It's like you don't know what's gonna happen. And for me, it's like Peter Pan syndrome on steroids.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It's like I'm swimming through the Scrooge McDuck of like toy bins or something.

[John]

Did Fairly mention. And this, I promise this will be the last thing. Did I. Because I just read this the other day about the other new movie he's working on. I play rock.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Rocky movie.

[John]

Yeah, that's.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

That's his next one.

[John]

Interesting dude. So I just read this true story. It's called I Play Rocky is the movie that Farrelly's doing. And it's about the making of Rocky.

[KFC]

Right.

[John]

And so badass. So Stallone, I'd heard about him doing softcore porn before, but I didn't know he was homeless, living at Penn Station when he wrote Rocky. And he was so poor that he had sold his dog. And. And then he writes Rocky, like.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Like a country music song worth of attrition. Yeah, yeah.

[John]

And he takes it to the studio. He writes Rocky, takes to the studio, studio says, we love this. We'll give you 20 grand, you fuck off. Because Burt Reynolds plays Rocky. And Stallone said, no, I play Rocky.

[KFC]

Rocky.

[John]

And he was homeless, sold his dog, he's so poor. Got offered $20,000 in what, early 80s, mid 80s, whenever Rocky was, and for.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Inflation, that'd be like 75, 80,000.

[John]

And then he goes, then they go, they go, fine, we'll give you 50. And then you fuck off. And he goes, no, I play Rocky. And they got to 350 grand, I think it was. And they said, and now fuck off. And he went, nope, I play rock. So then they got him to agree to this contract that was basically a contract no one can fulfill. Like, it was like if you fall one day behind on shooting, you're off the script, you're off the project, and we're giving it to Burt Reynolds.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And he goes, trying to set him up for failure. Right?

[John]

He was. Deal. And then the first day, they made him film all of the running scenes in Rocky. So the first day he ran 18 miles house. Holy dehydrated, ended up in the hospital.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

In the first two. Part of that story too is he had to punch the meat. The meat hanging from the meat locker. And it wasn't thawed out, so his hands were just bleeding and cut up and broken.

[John]

And because of this, the. The schedule, they didn't have time to thought they were like, maybe we could get some blow dryers, but it'll take a few hours. We don't have time. I'll just hit it. Broke both his hands, and he went underdog.

[KFC]

Literally rock.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Yeah.

[John]

I think the fairly quote I read was something along lines of, like, in the movie Rocky, he doesn't win the fight, but he survives the fight. And that's what I thought was the coolest. And that's what Stallone did on. On the acting out.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Wow.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I'm excited for that. It's gonna be spent. I think it'll be another green book for him where it'll get a lot of the kind of attention you want. And I think also, like, Pete Fairley is a human. Hopefully you get to meet him someday. He'd be a great interview.

[KFC]

Was it Peter or his brother?

[John]

Oh, that's right. You were at a wedding with one.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Bobby is the other one.

[KFC]

I just remember being.

[John]

Are they. Are they New England guys? Sorry.

[KFC]

I think so.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

That's why everything's always based Providence, Rhode Island.

[John]

They're Providence boys.

[KFC]

I think I was. I think it was in Massachusetts or Connecticut, I think. And I just. I heard whispers that one of the Farrelly brothers was there. And, like, he came up to me and was like, oh, I love barstool. And, like, I've seen some of your work. And I was like, like, what? What, dude? You're one of the. Barely.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I said back to him, yeah, I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy. My favorite. My favorite line.

[KFC]

Favorite line was exactly that, man.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

No, but that. But that. That man, he's the sweetest dude ever. And so is Wahlberg. Like, that was like. Like an embarrassment of riches working on that movie. I cannot wait for people to see it. And while we were shooting it, I had all these moments where I'm like, is this good? Like, I. Like, I couldn't tell.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And. And I was second guessing myself a lot more. So when you star in something, if I come in and I do a supporting role, a lot of the pressure's off.

[John]

Right?

[KFC]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

I know how to do this thing. I'm gonna come in. Pew, pew, pew. Leave. Yeah, but when you're carrying a movie or co. Carrying, it's way scarier.

[John]

Yeah.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And. And by the end of it, Pete Fairley was like, just Come over to my place and watch some footage. You haven't watched a single bit of footage, which is by design. I'm like, I don't want to get in my head. I don't want to.

[KFC]

Sure.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And then we watched it and he showed me like 40 minutes of the movie, rough cut. And me and my wife and my manager, my agent were laughing our heads off.

[John]

Really?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

It was so funny.

[John]

It's going to be such a great feeling.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

So I feel. Oh, God, it's like I gotta not get cocky about it because it just was literally what felt like a throwback comedy. Felt like Wedding Crashers Dumb and Dumber vibe comedy. Not modern comedy, which is sometimes anti comedy. But Pete Fairley, gotta get him on the show. He's the sweetest guy. If somebody has a problem with Pete Fairley, they have a problem.

[KFC]

Well, thanks so much, man. You're obviously a busy dude. We appreciate the time. This is great.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

No, thanks for putting me over here.

[John]

December 5th, right?

[Paul Walter Hauser]

December 5th, MLW, one shot. Eric Bischoff at the Melrose Ballroom in LIC. Long Island City.

[John]

Yeah, let's go.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

Yeah, Come by, please.

[KFC]

Appreciate it, man. Thanks so much.

[John]

Thank you so much.

[Paul Walter Hauser]

And you can watch for free on YouTube. Everybody loves that.

[John]

Yeah.

[KFC]

Great, man. That was awesome.

[John]

Thank you so much.

[KFC]

Paul Sa.