Sydney Sweeney's Dress Has Won Feits Over - Full Episode

Summary

KFC Radio: “Sydney Sweeney's Dress Has Won Feits Over”

Date: November 4, 2025
Hosts: KFC (Kevin Clancy), Feitelberg (John Feitelberg), with Jackie
Podcast: Barstool Sports' KFC Radio

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Episode Overview

This episode is classic KFC Radio: an honest, irreverent deep-dive into the modern guy’s psyche and the cultural absurdities we all navigate. The crew discusses everything from indecisiveness in daily life, sports fandom, and the economics of billionaires, to embarrassing body insecurities and the social currency of cars. The through line of it all is a raw, conversational style — part therapy, part comedy, occasionally raucous, frequently self-reflective, and always anchored by the voices and neuroses of KFC, Feits, and Jackie.

As the episode title implies, the crew does not shy away from Sydney Sweeney discourse, brought on by her now-infamous dress, but the real appeal here is the wild swings from thoughtful social commentary to absolute idiocy. If you’re in it for a reminder that everyone is weird, insecure, and figuring things out on the fly — this episode delivers.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. “Whatever You Want” Personalities and Decision Anxiety

(01:10 – 06:59)

• The hosts and Jackie share a universal frustration: indecision in low-stakes scenarios (ordering food, picking a show, haircut mishaps, etc.), and the anxiety around displeasing others or speaking up for themselves.
• Feitelberg admits he almost never picks the restaurant menu, instead deferring to others:

  "I'll give two options to the waiter. I'll go, what do you think? This or this? And they go, that. I go, done." (01:59)

• KFC interprets this as a Type A/Type B dichotomy ("people-pleasers" vs. "decision-makers"), and cracks up at how many people mistake quiet deference for spinelessness:

  “Your smile is my treat. Are you having a good time? Then I’m having a blast. What a psycho statement.” (06:09)

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2. Group TV Watching, Social Contracts, and ‘Dumb and Scroll’

(06:31 – 12:15)

• The group explores the shifting etiquette around joint TV viewing, e.g., whether it’s “okay” if your partner is only half-watching because they're on their phone.
• KFC: “If we’ve made the active decision: Let’s watch something together, then why are you on your phone?” (09:33)
• They joke about “Dumb and Scroll” — a non-committal TV hang where nobody’s truly paying attention.
• The segment reveals modern relationship microdynamics: balancing alone time and shared activities, the importance of clear expectations, and the implicit social rules around “shared consumption.”

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3. What Makes a Movie ‘Spooky’?

(11:52 – 14:49)

• Feitelberg wrestles with his use of the word “spooky,” admitting it’s his go-to term even if it’s not “grown man-approved.”

  “I don’t really know what I mean. I just mean spooky. That’s probably why spooky is a good way to describe the season… I don’t like outright gore. I want less than that, whatever that is.” (11:54)

• The group debates if they’d use “spooky” in front of an NFL coach (Mike Vrabel), a segue into talk about Halloween watches and pop culture lexicon.

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4. On Sports Fandom, Envy, and Absurd Access

(20:07 – 31:08)

• Feitelberg recounts attending a Patriots game and having dinner with head coach Mike Vrabel, to KFC’s animated jealousy:

  “What the fuck is that about? How the fuck did this happen, dude?” (20:46)

• The conversation highlights the surreal access granted by Barstool’s popularity: partying with athletes, backstage moments, the blurred fan/friend line.
• They muse on sports hatred — why being in the AFC East and working at Barstool amplifies KFC’s Patriots-hatred to professional proportions.

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5. The Sports Draft System, Parity, and Self-Determination

(32:12 – 36:46)

• The crew debates if pro athletes should be able to choose their teams rather than be drafted:

  “Imagine if, before Chalamet got Dune, he had to go work at Tubi. What the fuck? For years? Why can’t a quarterback not say that?” – Feitelberg (34:00)

• They consider classic draft holdouts (Lindros, Elway), the limitations of draft parity, and how other professions don’t force people into jobs.
• Spirals into a larger discussion of the realities of sports parity, whether removing the draft would really unbalance leagues, and the nature of player agency.

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6. Dodgers, Blue Jays, and Modern Payroll Madness

(37:43 – 47:08)

• In the wake of a dramatic World Series, there’s an analysis of fan heartbreak (Blue Jays) vs. big-payroll dominance (Dodgers).
• They reflect on deferred contracts (Ohtani, Yamamoto), why all owners could theoretically spend like the Dodgers, and the rationalizations fans and owners alike use.
• Quote:

  “Every owner in baseball can do what the Dodgers do. Yell at your owner. The game is rigged to keep the rich people like, happy and rich.” – KFC (40:13)

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7. How Much Money Is Enough? The ‘Billionaire Card’ and Economic Absurdity

(55:50 – 64:03)

• Jackie proposes a tongue-in-cheek solution to billionaires hoarding wealth:

  “Once you hit a billion, you just get your little billionaire card and then you don’t have to ever pay for anything anymore... But then you actually don’t earn any more money and you just have everything.” (56:17)

• KFC and Feits run with the joke (“the Billionaire Boys Club becomes a literal neighborhood,” “if you stop paying taxes, the police stop defending you — good luck!”)
• There’s real talk about taxation, the differences between being billion-dollar rich on paper and cash, and what “enough” actually is.

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8. Indulgent Tech & Useless Car Features

(69:11 – 78:04)

• Feits vents about a car commercial touting a remote-controlled feature that lets you move your car a few feet at the press of a button:

  “You’ll never need to move your car 10ft without being in it. When has anyone ever needed that?” (69:57)

• Jackie invents horror scenarios where it might help (sinkhole rescue, parking lot pranks, killing your girlfriend!?); hilarity ensues.
• The trio laughs about tech companies creating “fake problems” to sell shiny features, and how it’s just another version of viral advertising.

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9. Cool Cars vs. Expensive Cars, and the Pointlessness of Luxury in the City

(80:07 – 83:08)

• The group ranks “cool vintage” over performance or luxury, riffing on San Francisco street crime and stolen/broken-into cars:

  “If you are in the city, there’s seriously no point in having an expensive car unless it’s obviously valet or whatever. It will get broken into regardless.” – Jackie (81:17)

• Nostalgia-heavy anecdotes about their cheap, always-broken-into old cars, including homeless people using Feitelberg’s Jeep as a shelter (“Dirty Mike and the boys…”).

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10. Beauty, Insecurity, and the Sydney Sweeney Effect

(89:45 – 97:04)

• Sydney Sweeney and her dress finally take center stage. The crew dissects her “cutting through the white noise” in a world full of beautiful people:

  “She is still a show stopper… There’s so many hot girls out there... She’s doing the damn thing.” – KFC (89:45 & 92:44)

• Feits confesses to a regrettable past tweet downplaying her appeal (“I’d like to delete that”), while Jackie and KFC talk about the confidence it takes to embrace one’s “blessings” (in this case, Sweeney's “next-level” rack).
• They reflect on body insecurity, from chest size anxiety to feet, and the impossible standards social media and celebrity set.
• Notable:

  “I really sympathize with the plight of women in terms of looks… it seems to warp even the hottest of chicks.” – KFC (95:11)

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11. Foot Fetishes, Scams, and Childhood Toe Trauma

(99:15 – 102:23)

• Jackie recounts being scarred since childhood about her toes due to a classmate’s “big toe” announcement, leading to years of body worry.
• She also shares a failed attempt to sell foot pics (“Tim Farley, you scumbag. Pay this $800 retroactively for her toes!” – KFC (101:38)), and the trio spirals about how the rise of foot fetishes is a “blessing” in the economy of body part commodification.

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12. Final Tangents: Male Nipples, Inverted Nipples, and Hookup Awkwardness

(104:00 – End)

• The show winds down with brutally honest and (deliberately) awkward talk about male nipples, sexual sensations, and the weirdness of bodies.

  “There’s no point in you guys having nipples. None whatsoever.” – Jackie (104:23)

• Some standout tales about sexual miscommunication (from “Is this cum or boogers?” to “so it’s in me right now?!”), complete with their signature blend of cringe and oversharing.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On being ‘spineless’:

  “I've been called spineless since I was four.” – Jackie (04:49)

• On owning your people-pleaser nature:

  “I'm a full, full blown dancing monkey. Straight chameleon baby. What do you want me to do that you will enjoy? Done.” – Feitelberg (06:01)

• On Patriots fandom envy:

  “How the fuck did this happen, dude? Like, try to remember...the best thing that can happen to a sports fan is you win a championship, or you’re just like friends with the coach and get to hang with him.” – KFC (20:46)

• On invented tech problems:

  “If you bought a car because of that, kill yourself. Back your car up into the sinkhole and kill yourself.” – Feitelberg (78:02)

• On beauty standards:

  “I sympathize with the plight of women in terms of looks… it really is, it really is. I really sympathize… it warps even like the hottest of chicks.” – KFC (95:11)

• On body dysmorphia:

  “This girl's been tormented for two decades because of Ryan Kapur.” – KFC (99:36)

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Timestamps for Required Listening

• 01:10 – 06:59: Group anxiety about decision-making and people-pleasing
• 09:29 – 12:15: The rules of TV-and-phone time, “Dumb and Scroll”
• 20:07 – 31:08: Feitelberg’s surreal Patriots adventure, inside sports fandom
• 32:12 – 36:46: Is the draft system broken? Athlete autonomy
• 55:50 – 64:03: Jackie's “Billionaire Card” and the comedy of economic fairness
• 69:11 – 78:04: The most ridiculous car feature ever invented
• 89:45 – 97:04: Sydney Sweeney, beauty standards, and body confidence

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Conclusion

This episode delivers all the usual KFC Radio hallmarks: self-aware comedy, relatable insecurities, genuine debates, and sharp observations about sports, gender, status, and culture. It feels like the world’s most fun—and honest—group chat, with moments of genuine wisdom peeking out between the dick jokes, hot take confessions, and unfiltered reflections. And yes, in 2025, the power of Sydney Sweeney’s dress lives rent-free in all their heads.

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For the deepest laughs and the most striking moments of vulnerability, queue up the above timestamps. Newcomers and regular listeners alike will find much to love and cringe at, in equal measure.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, KFC Radio listeners. You can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[B]

You are standing inside a secret prison. It houses the Nazi high command.

[A]

I'm gonna put Hermann Goering on trial.

[B]

Sony Pictures Classics presents Nuremberg. Starring Academy award winner Russell Crowe, Academy award winner Rami Malek, and academy award nominee Michael Shannon. Do you plead guilty or not guilty?

[A]

Order. Order.

[B]

Nuremberg opens only in theaters everywhere. November 7th. You are standing inside a secret prison. It houses the Nazi high command.

[A]

I'm going to put Hermann Goering on trial.

[B]

Sony Pictures Classics presents Nuremberg. Starring Academy award winner Russell Crowe, Academy award winner Rami Malek, and academy award nominee Michael Shannon. Do you plead guilty or not guilty? Order.

[A]

Order.

[B]

Nuremberg. Now playing only in theaters.

[A]

Remember when I was talking about making enough money to be done with work? I feel like that's Feidalberg from. He goes to a restaurant. Whatever you want.

[B]

100.

[A]

Go get your haircut.

[B]

Whatever you want.

[A]

Get in bed with a girl. I don't do what you want.

[B]

Have your way with me.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Literally. Look, I know I. I can. If it's up to me, I know what to do for me.

[A]

I want to see what you think, you know, creative.

[B]

I do that with, like, literally. Do you like your French girls? Like, if I go out to eat, I do not. I very. It's not never, but, like, I very rarely pick.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I, I, I'll give two options to the waiter. I'll go, what do you think? This or this? And they go, that. I go, done the.

[A]

Except I. The only thing I can think of with you is massages. You want. You. You don't want anybody. I mean, I guess when you do go to them, you'll let them finger your belly. It's just like, you don't do it.

[B]

But if you think this is supposed to go.

[A]

Isn't there something so funny about that, though? Like, it's. It's kind of. I don't know if it's just a girl thing, too. I think for guys, it's like a trope that, like, you'll sit down at the barbershop, they will butcher your hair, and you won't say a word. The whole time you're going, this is terrible. They're doing it wrong. And then they show you the mirror, and you go, great. And you tip them and you walk out. You're like, that sucked. Yeah. And there is something about speaking up. Whether it's that or a must. If you got a massage or like, even. Even, like. Like, I was at the ER last night. Shay broke her arm. And, like, there was a point where I needed to talk to, like, the. The guy behind the desk. And it was. I was, like, completely valid in it. Like, I was not complaining about how long it was taking, but I was sort of just like, I need to know where that doctor is, because she's. You know. And I was like, I don't want to go over and ask him. It's like, so, excuse me, how long is this gonna. And I just felt like, I can't do that.

[C]

I can't.

[A]

I can't. I can't go. Speak up. You know, I don't know what that is. There's got. There should be a word for that when you're just, like, irrationally afraid to speak up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For your own, like. Yeah, I guess it's just anxiety, but there's. There's something extra about it where it's like, I don't consider myself, like, an anxious person in social situations, but if I'm. You know, if someone's cutting my hair wrong, I. And I could just be like, oh, actually, don't do that.

[C]

Yeah, but I've long said there's, like, certain times, like, even ordering food at a place, sometimes people will get mad at me. They'll be like, can you just give me your opinion? But I'm like, I. Truly, what I fear is I pick something. And now you're mad because I actually don't have you say you're.

[A]

You mean the waiter?

[C]

No, sorry. Like, if I'm. If I'm like, my sister, she's the decision maker. She's always been the decision maker, but sometimes she gets pissed at me because she's like, I don't feel like making decisions tonight. Can you just make decisions? But I'm like, I. You are the one who gets pissed if I pick the wrong thing, so it's just easier for me. And I don't actually care if I. If I. If you order something that I don't like, I don't actually care. At the end of the day, like, that much when it seems to really bother you.

[A]

Jackie, welcome to being a man.

[B]

What you're describing is the exact experience of a girl being like, you don't.

[A]

Like, do enough around the house, and then you do it around the house. She's like, well, that's wrong. It's like, well, then you either got to let me do it or you do it yourself. That's exactly the experience you're talking.

[C]

No, but there's times when I'm like, I will have an opinion and I'll speak up when I have an opinion. But if I'm not speaking up, then I'm not. Then like, just trust and believe. Like, I don't give a fuck. Chicken. Or if you order the steak, like, yeah, like that is truly up to. Anyways, so. And then people are like, you're spineless. Whatever. I've been called spineless my whole life, which is such a mean term.

[A]

That's harsh.

[B]

I've been called spineless since I was four.

[A]

Spineless and gutless are two.

[C]

Like, not spineless, just pushover. Like people really feel comfortable throwing around the. Well, you are and I am a pushover.

[B]

And like, I don't think it's a pushover because like, I think I'm in a similar way, like, you're not pushing me over. I'm allowing you to do this.

[C]

I'm allowing you to do. And I actually don't care. I just want you to be happy because I actually don't care. And your. My life is a lot easier if the people around me are happy.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's just kind of everybody in.

[A]

The room just nodded their heads. But I think that there's, it's like a type A, type B thing. I think you're either that way or you're one of the people trying to get pleased, you know? Yeah. And I think the world like clashes. But also, you know what I mean? Like, you need to find someone who wants to be pleased and get pleased. And then sometimes I can clash. But I think you also need that, a good mix of that, you know?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

We got a room filled with the same breed, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's why, that's why I want you to be pleased. Whatever I can do to make that happen.

[A]

I can't even tell you how, how little I care about like my own feelings and experience. Like in any situation I will defer to like the other people in the room.

[B]

I, I am a full, full blown dancing monkey.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like straight chameleon baby. What do you want me to do that will you will enjoy.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Done. Yes, done. I don't even, I don't even need like treats. Like what do you. Your, your smile is my treat. Whatever the it is, I'm out. I don't need treats.

[C]

Your smile is my treat.

[B]

Are you having a good time then? I'm having a blast. What a psycho statement.

[A]

Your smile is my treat.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

You know what? I really feel it. I feel a Lot with, like, te. Like, if I'm watching TV with somebody, I'm like, I know what I would want to watch. But, like, you tell me, you know, the last thing I ever want to do is put on, like, a show that. Or like. Or better. Better examples, like, if the Mets are playing, I'm not gonna make someone else watch the Mets game.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I'll watch it on my phone. I'll put it on a second screen, something like that. And the person can be like, I don't care. Like, we can watch the game. And I'm like, but I know you don't. You don't ever watch the Mets.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You're not a fan, so I know you're not. You know what I mean? And then. So I. I just can't. I always defer. Food, entertainment, tv.

[B]

We're going TV and movies that I choose.

[A]

You pick.

[B]

That's the thing I will say. I like, I very strongly am factoring you in. Like, okay, I'm not just putting on something that I would like. I'm putting on something that I think you.

[A]

We all like.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's what I mean.

[B]

It's really important to me that you like it. It's so. Then really important that I'm right.

[A]

So that's like the. That one example. You become the reverse.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're basically ordering for the table. Then instead of being the guy, whatever you want.

[B]

If movies or TV put your menus away.

[A]

So you get. Let me get a little taste of how the other people feel.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When it's like, why don't you. Why won't you order? Or why don't you want the show?

[B]

But, like, people I trust, like, people trust me because I'm like, this is my thing. I promise you. I'm thinking about you. I know where the stuff you like.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I'm not just putting on, like, some fun. It's always sunny. Like, I'm not putting on something for me, like, I'm factoring you in. I have a. A wide range of knowledge as far as, like, cinema or TV goes. Like, I can find something we'll both like.

[A]

And then, dude, you put. You put something on and people just know that.

[B]

And it's like, if that happens, I'm.

[A]

Put on the map.

[B]

Now, that's only happened, like, twice in my life because I'll throw them out the window. I'll go far. I'll take enough deep breaths that you'll eventually go, something. Okay, Okay, I want to watch a movie.

[C]

But that's an example. It's like when you came. When you care about something, you will speak up.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It's just very, very rarely. Yeah, no, it's, it's. I actually care about a lot of things. I just don't care enough about most things to speak up, you know.

[B]

And also with the, that with that specific instance, like, I've done enough groundwork before we hit play.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I've gotten you excited.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I've told you why you will like this. I've told you why I like it. Why it's going to be a good like, like, oh my God, this is Brad Pitt goes crazy. And like I'm, I've set the scene so if you're immediately on your phone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're going out the window.

[A]

If you're, if you're just like a casual TV night, though, you're not like picking out. It's not a thing. And someone is like not paying attention on their phone, kind of like whatever.

[B]

Do you care if we're watching tv? Like just the general sense. No, I don't care.

[A]

But if it's like a show you're watching, like it's season one, episode five, you're watching this show together.

[B]

If we'll watch. If we, if we've made the active decision, let's watch something together, then.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why are you on your phone? If we're just kind of sitting there hanging out. Hang out. But if we're like, you want to put this on? Yeah, I want to put it on. Let's get like. And we're excited about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then I'm like, why? If you don't want to be excited, let's not be excited. Let's put on some. Yeah.

[A]

The only reason I bring it up is because if you like live with someone or you're watching every night, like not every single night, I think can be like intent, intentional appointment television, you know, so it's like with me, someone wants to just like.

[B]

But I understand, I understand. I'm, I'm.

[A]

I'm cuz like, I, I don't, I.

[B]

Don'T make anyone watch, but I'm like, do you want to watch something? And if you do, let's do it. But if I'm like, I'm kind of like that with everything. Like, if we're going to do. Let's do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, if you don't want to do anything, I'm perfectly happy hanging out. But if you want to do something, well, let's have an experience.

[A]

It's. I, I basically do it with my kids a lot where I'll be like, do you want to watch a movie tonight? Or you want to, like, do your iPads? Because.

[B]

Right, exactly.

[A]

Like, I don't want to put on, like, a kid show that I don't really like. If you're gonna watch with me, great.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

But if you're gonna, like, just around your iPad, like, how about you do that? And I could put on the Mets or whatever and then. But. But I. I think also with adults, like, there are times where I'm like, I want to, like, watch something, and there are times where I'm like, I'm tired or I'm beat, and I just want to, like, there's for sure be next to you while you're doing it. And. But. But then I again, I go back to like, well, am I now, am I upsetting you because I'm not paying attention enough or. You know what I mean?

[B]

Like, I do exactly that. Where I'll be like, you want to watch something? You want to put on, like, Dumb and Scroll? Yeah, and like, I'm perfectly happy to put on Dumb and Scroll too.

[A]

But just like, dumb.

[B]

Don't tell me that. Don't tell me you want to watch.

[A]

The new Netflix and chill.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Dumb and Scroll.

[B]

Like, don't tell me you want to watch something and then start scrolling. Because I'm like, well, look, I was perfectly happy putting on Dumb and scrolling. Yeah, until you got my hopes up. Yeah, you said you want to watch Psycho. So here I am, 45 minutes into Psycho.

[A]

Seems like a specific.

[B]

No, honestly, I watched Psycho alone, but I did just watch Psycho.

[A]

Um, but crazy thing to do.

[B]

Kind of like what you said. I put it on on Halloween. I was home. I went out with, like, my. My nephew, and I got home afterwards, and I was like, I. I never watch spooky stuff. Even like, all of October, I was like, I want to watch spooky shit. I want to watch spooky shit. And like, I would come, push, come to shove. And I just. I'd be, eh, I'm not doing it. And then, so Halloween, I was like, I haven't watched anything scary all month. Although I did watch the new. The old.

[C]

When you say spooky, by the way, do you mean scary?

[B]

I mean, I don't really know what I mean. I just mean spooky. And then that's probably why spooky is.

[A]

A good way to describe the season, though, because it's like, sometimes it might be a horror movie, sometimes it might be a ghost story. Sometimes it's a haunted house, but it's just all like spooky.

[B]

I don't, I don't like, like the outright gore.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So like I want less than that, whatever that is.

[C]

And no, I'm just gonna say something. I don't know if grown men should be using that.

[A]

I, I didn't see her. But when you said spooky, I heard her go like she made a little noise and I was like, oh, someone's, someone's getting judged for this. I mean, it's definitely a gay term.

[B]

I, I pulled the realm and we all like spooky. So. Okay, but.

[A]

Okay, okay, let's put it up. But here's where Jackie's right. If you. So this weekend you were hanging out with Mike Rabel.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Would you ever say to Mike Rabel, I watched the spooky movie?

[B]

I. Yeah.

[A]

And let me tell you, you shouldn't, bro.

[B]

Here's the deal. If I was recommending Rabel a movie, I'd be like, dude, spooky as hell. Okay. I for sure say that.

[C]

That I can understand having a little ironically.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I say I'm genuinely mean. It's spooky as hell. I. I don't know what spooky means. It means it's foggy in a lot of scenes is what I think it means. There's a low fog right above the ground, like really like below the waist in most scenes. Then it's a spooky and there's like.

[C]

A jack o lantern with a human body.

[B]

A jack lantern, human body. I. I was saying I watched it. I think that's spooky. I watched the 1990 version of it. Tim Curry. Unbelievable.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Has anyone ever seen that? Unreal.

[A]

That was actually a TV series, right?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I think that's why it's like a five hour movie is cuz it was actually like a. Yeah, but I mean at the time, three hours was like crazy. I think it was cuz it was like a 31 hour thing or something like that.

[B]

I didn't notice that. And watching it, it didn't. Like they weren't. It wasn't clearly set up, but it was beyond my wildest dreams. I loved it. So then I was like, all right, I'm gonna try another spooky movie. I'll try Psycho. And I was very much enjoying it, but I was starting to get tired on Halloween, so I turned it off. Was like too spooky for. I was like, I'll watch this when I wake up and Then the next day off. Peacock. So I never finished what.

[A]

Let me tell you something. Thank God. Because if you woke up in the morning.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And watch the second half of Psycho alone, I don't know if I could even associate with you ever again. That would be the craziest move of all time.

[B]

I do that on like, November.

[A]

I know you do, but what was this? There was something you once watched at.

[B]

Like 7am I watched a lot of like. Like, I. I pretty much go action.

[A]

Then. Yeah.

[B]

Get jacked up for the day.

[A]

Something insane.

[B]

Backdraft. Backdraft was a big one.

[A]

Spotlight. What? Spotlight?

[B]

Yeah, Spotlight. In the morning. Like, sick. I did backdraft like 6:30 in the morning. It ripped and it's so crazy.

[A]

It's not, but it is. It's like. It's so nice.

[B]

Partly why it was partly part of. In writing Mascots is. I think that's why Henry. Henry's watching like, Gladiator. And I think that was kind of like. I think that came from when you.

[A]

Watch like a Hitchcock movie like that. I don't know. I don't know if it's just like he. He is mimicked so often because of who he is or he just figured it out. But, like, there's so many things in scary movies. So many shots and like, techniques.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That are so scary. Like, so. So definitively for a scary movie.

[B]

You know, they do like, a. Hitchcock definitely has like two or three of them that are like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He invented.

[A]

Where it's like. It's like a wide shot and then it like zooms in. Or like just a still camera in a certain way. And. And then like the.

[C]

Like.

[A]

It was probably Hitchcock, but the first guy who invented, like, you close the mirror and the person's behind you. Those things that. And now. Now it's evolved where you close the mirror and you're expected to get the jump. But it's the second jump. I think we talked about that last episode. Like, those things are so. So I wonder though, if you put like, happy music behind it, would it not feel that scary? I don't know. But it all comes together in scary movies where it's like. I don't know why that's making me uneasy, the way the camera's moving. But it is.

[B]

Yeah. And I don't know, but that's my.

[A]

I guess my point is, is there something inherently about the camera or. Or has it just that it's been in every scary movie you've ever seen? So now you associate it, you know? Or is it like something, you know, visually where you're like, that makes me nervous. Either way. It's fascinating either way. To me, it's crazy. The NFL is in full swing, which means tailgates and packed stadiums and the buzz before kickoff. But getting into a game can be an absolute nightmare. You have to worry about buying fake tickets. You have to worry about price gouging, getting scammed. And that's where game time comes in. The official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports and should be your official ticketing partner of all events because you have a 100% guarantee that your tickets are real and authentic. And you have a 100% guarantee that you will get the best price possible on the secondary market. Whether you want to get in the building with nosebleeds for like a dollar or get courtside seats for the best price available. Whether you're going all out or just want to get in the building, Game time has you covered. Incredibly easy to use. All you got to do is pick your ticket, couple clicks and you get. You make your purchase. It's easy to exchange tickets between friends guaranteed to get in the building. It just takes all of the guesswork and all of the stress out of tickets and buying them and getting into a game, it takes. Gets rid of all of them. We got. What do we got coming up?

[B]

I mean, New York's got everything. Always Wizards, Knicks, you're in the building 93 tonight.

[A]

Thank you. Game time.

[B]

Timberwolves, Nets, 23, Bucks, Hurricanes, Rangers. This is all in the next week. 87 bucks, Browns, Jets, 47 bucks out of NFL game 47 bucks is crazy.

[A]

I'll be honest with Browns, jets, it's probably hot.

[B]

Canadians, the Devils, WWE, Monday Night Raw, UFC 322 is coming up November 15th. Rush, it's coming. By the way, speaking of Rush, did you notice game seven? The. There was at times a lot of people were standing up in Toronto, but right behind the home plate there was one guy, one like younger guy standing up and an older guy always trying to peek around him. The older guy is the lead singer of Rush, according to my dad. I don't know but.

[A]

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[B]

Like, bookmark this.

[A]

I'm going to learn this for later.

[B]

I invented this, by the way. Whatever the technology, this is the Britney Spears Baby One More Time album. I would have that CD to my fucking eyes trying to see up her skirt. Like I would have that. But if I had the angle right, I can see.

[A]

But if you go to Bluechew and get your tablets, you don't have to worry about any of that because you naturally will just be putting, putting on a show right now. Go to bluechew.com use promo code KFC at checkout and you get your first month of medication for free. All you got to do is pay five dollars for shipping. That's it. That's bluechew.com promo code KFC. Pay five bucks for shipping, get your entire month of medication for free. And all you got to do is head over to the website to find out whether you qualify any sort of safety instructions, anything like that. Bluetooth will take care of for you. And all you got to do is worry about the $5 in shipping and performing afterwards. So Bluetooth's mission is to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time and you can be a part of that. It's bluetooth.com for details and safety info. Promo code KFC for your first month free. Just five bucks for shipping. Thanks to Bluechew for sponsoring the podcast. So you were at, at the Patriots game. I hate you, man. I hate you.

[B]

I. I do.

[A]

I hate you, dude. Like it. It's just.

[B]

I would hate me too. Yeah.

[A]

There's so much happiness in your. It's on sports life, but specifically V Football now that it's just like so annoying, dude.

[B]

There's seven and two.

[A]

Seven and two. Got your, your, your. You have your quarterback for the next 10 and your coach for the next 30 until he's dead. Probably.

[B]

Hopefully. Yeah, hopefully.

[A]

And, and like you're also just like pals with him.

[B]

It's crazy.

[A]

What the is that about? What the. How the did this happen, dude? Like, like, like try to remember. I don't even know if you can do this because you never had like you, you've, you haven't had it rough sports wise for a long time. But like the best thing that can happen to a sports fan is like you win a championship, you know, except like you, it's like. Or you're just like friends with the coach and like you get to hang out like with him during and pre, during and post game. Like all these things that are just like, this shouldn't happen to people. This shouldn't, shouldn't be allowed to happen. How's this happening?

[B]

I don't like, we've been friends with the variables for a long time and like, we're just friends. And it's insane. He's the coolest guy in the world. The fact that he's our football coach is fucking insane. It's insane. Like, it's odd being friends because it's like it feels like you're friends with the president. We're like, I don't want to fucking let out any information that might help.

[A]

No State secret, the Jets.

[B]

I don't want that information. Help the Bucks. But we pretty publicly went to dinner last night, so I can tell that story. We went to dinner last night. If you're a Patriots fan, we are living in the.

[A]

The best.

[B]

It was crazy to say because Tom Brady's not on the team anymore. We are, we're obviously not living in the golden era. We won six Super Bowls. You better not be, bro. If there's something that, something, bro, that comes that's better, then I'm gonna actually kill myself. We have our quarterback, we have our coach. And our coach is the greatest coach of all. Not of all time, because Bill Bell Druck is. But the. It's insane. It's insane. Dude. We went to dinner last night. It was the coolest thing I've ever been a part of my entire life. Like, dead serious.

[A]

And again, this is a man who's like partied with like Lil Wayne after winning the Super Bowl.

[B]

Like, he's already done really cool with.

[A]

His football team, bro.

[B]

We went, we went to dinner at Davio's, which is in Patriot Place. Like, an hour after the game. Like, like one hour after the game ended, Vrabel's just walking through Patriot Place. No one's even recognizing him. And then we got into Davios, and pretty quickly people realized he was in the entryway of Davios, and the place started going nuts. Like, standing ovation. It felt like he was a college football coach in a college town where, like, the. Like, you know, we just went out to dinner after the game, and the place went nuts. Like, it was.

[A]

I almost wish that you and your brother were not who you were and just happened to be in that restaurant, because you would have been the clowns being like, take it off your shirts. Like, pour water rules.

[B]

Like, for sure. We're walking through the restaurant, like, and. And people are standing up, going nuts, and. And then two separate tables as we walk through one. Feidelberg over here. I just had to make a face. I was like, yeah, dude, what can I say that will make this.

[A]

That will justify you? Oh, I gave him my kidney once, man. What?

[C]

Why are you fucking here, man?

[B]

No, it was, like, walking through that in particular, I started to be like, it's like a little Forrest Gump to me. I'm just this guy who's clearly got mental disabilities and just keeps finding himself in really weird situations.

[A]

That's a great angle, man.

[B]

You're.

[A]

You're. You're final bird Gump over here. Final Gump is a great. A great character. You should build out. Like, like, yeah, you went from, like, dinner with Rabel to, like, you'll be on stage with Bert to fucking this, that, and the other. It's like, you don't deserve any of this shit.

[B]

You're a fucking buffoon. Like, like, for real. It's clear. I have mental disabilities. I have diagnosed mental disabilities. How do I keep ending up in these places, bro? And then I'm taking a. He hops. So, like, when we were walking in, I figured he had a back room, like a private. Like, a back entrance and all that stuff. Obviously, we had our own room, but, like, I figured that there was a private entrance. No, he just walked into the restaurant, and then we're in this room, and I. I. I had to go take a piss a couple of times. We were there for. And. And, I mean, if you were there.

[A]

For more than seven minutes, you probably. Four times.

[B]

I probably took five pisses. Like, it was crazy. I'm in the. I'm in the bathroom, and. And some. Some guy comes in. He Goes, how's Coach? I went, what? He goes, I saw you come out of that room back there. And I went, ah, he's good. And the guy goes, do you play for us, dude? I'm 40 years old, bro. Am I Aaron Rodgers? No.

[A]

That's a pretty fucking big compliment, man. That's a pretty big compliment. You should be like, yeah, I'm on.

[B]

The O line, bro. You play for us. Do I play for the Patriot? You should have said we're having this conversation in person.

[A]

You should have said you're a cornerback.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You can't tell, man.

[B]

I'm excited, White. It was funny being at dinner. Like, my dad and my brother came too, and obviously they're like, over the moon. Over the moon. We went to dinner with the coach.

[A]

As much as you're, like, you recognize how special this was, it's. You know, you're jaded. Like, you're. This is the 10 millionth cool thing you've done.

[B]

Yeah. For like, your brother is like, this is. Yeah. This is number one with a ball. I get it. But.

[A]

But I'm saying for them, they're like, yeah. You know what I mean?

[B]

But then, like. Like, if. Then it was funny, would you really.

[A]

Say this is number one in the book? Like. Like, I mean, you have done some good.

[C]

Was this your first time meeting him?

[B]

No, not first. I mean, but, like. I mean, like, went to dinner with the coaches, doing the Patriots.

[A]

Yeah. And he's not just like any coach of the New England. It's like he's the next one for the next. You know, like I said, the rest of his life. But like, you. You. You met Brady.

[B]

I met Brady at his thing.

[A]

The thing.

[B]

Yeah. And like, all that was like, this is just like. Probably because my family was with me. Like, like, it was. It was really like they were so excited going. Just going to the game.

[A]

Like, it's like putting on a movie and everybody's.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Phone away.

[A]

Were they, like. Were they talking and chopping it up or were they, like, nervous to. To be at the table?

[B]

No. That was a funny thing was. It was like, like, you know, merging friend groups.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was nervous as hell all day. Cuz I, like, I don't know. Don't be idiots. And I'm not there.

[A]

I know the rainbows are also, like, super nice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where they. I think if your brother or father being an idiot, I think they would, like, be okay with it. But it also would be something that, like, he would bust your balls for, like, forever afterwards. Like, they would Handle it the right way.

[B]

Well, actually, speaking of busting my balls, we sit down at dinner and he's like, he's like Feidelberg trying to get you to defend me like you defend Brady. I said, brother, you're seven and two. When you need some defense, I gotcha. You're sitting pretty right now.

[A]

We don't need to go to jail for you, bro.

[B]

But then my, like, my dad, my brother were like asking questions that you would ask the coach because a fan. And I was like, oh my God. And then. But Rabel was so excited to answer. Like, that was something I learned. Like, I like how every NFL coach is obviously extremely into coaching football. Rabel's very into leading men. And he, like, he was cool. Like, it was cool. My brother had questions about that and he was like happy to talk about him. And it was, it was just cool to, to see like his vision.

[A]

But that's honestly what makes you like a co. I feel. I don't know. What do you think is more important, X's and O's or leading men? I think it's probably like a 50, 50 thing you got. You really do have to know the sport though.

[B]

You.

[A]

Of course, I guess if you surround yourself with like top notch coordinators and you could just be like, I lead the men and these guys do the X's and O's. But I think if you want to be like, like a Hall of Famer type guy, I really. You. I don't know which one's gotta be both.

[B]

I would, I would think it's leading men.

[A]

I'd like to. Next time you hang out with them. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because like, I. This is like the equivalent of like someone joining the Yankees. Like, I have to hate him.

[B]

Do you though? Like, did you do Jets? Like, I get you hate Belichick and Brady. Yeah, I get it. I guess I'm just trying to think of the other side. What guy?

[A]

Well, well, here's the thing.

[B]

You guys are. You guys are the, the Mad Men meme of like, I don't even think about you. You know what I mean? Like the Jets. I don't. You guys are funny occasionally. But like, I don't hate the jets.

[A]

Of course. Not until it's also like as of this moment right now, it's, it's. There's not as much hate. Like he goes to win the super bowl this year, I. I have to hate him. You know what I mean? So like, it's only gonna get worse.

[B]

Best record in football, Kevin.

[A]

Yeah, like, it's only gonna get worse. Football only gonna get worse. And I. And I. I just, like, I have to hate him. It's like my. My code. It's my. It's my job.

[B]

Do your job.

[A]

I. I like. Great to see you, Mike.

[B]

Love you, Jen. Fuck you guys.

[A]

Do that. God forbid you ever take me to dinner, I'm gonna have to be like, fuck you people. I don't know what to do.

[C]

Wait, do you hate the Hate Patriots? Because mostly of, like, working here and getting, like, shit on by everybody.

[B]

Yeah. Did you hate the Pats pre Barstool?

[A]

Not. Not nearly as much. And probably wouldn't at all, really, if they weren't in the division. You know what I mean? Like, I hate them just like you hate anybody in your division. You know what I mean? If, like, the Patriots were in the Central or something, I would be. I would be probably indifferent.

[B]

Yeah. You know, I always think that's a poisonous way for us, like, to be raised in. In that group because, like, I don't really care about any of the teams in the AFC East. Like, I don't hate it. The Bills, I kind of like. Like, the Bills are fun. The people of Buffalo are a fun group. And then the jets and the Dolphins, I just don't really think about that.

[A]

Well, that's why I said, like, if they were in the north, like, I think about the other teams in the. In the north, and I'm like. Because, like, there's good. Nobody's similar. No one's the Patriots for the similar type, like, franchises that I'm kind of like. And whatever. I, you know, if I. If I'm playing against them or there's a reason to. But it's not like a blanket. Like, I hate them all the time, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In your division, you have, like, people you don't like. But the Patriots became. I guess what I really can't figure out is, like, the dynasty occurred with the barstool. Yes. You know, so if I wasn't at Barstool and they were, like, an obnoxious win every year, dynasty outside the division, would that be enough to make me hate? I don't know. It's the perfect storm for them, for me, professionally, personally, and as a sports fan with my team, to, like, hate them with every fiber of my feet. So. Yeah.

[B]

Who is it? It's Yankees.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

But, yeah, like, not even. Yeah. I mean, I say the Yankees because I'm trying to, like, draw a comparison. Like, it's not even like if Mike Vrabel somehow be. If there was a, A who, who would, who could that be? Like, who do we know in the baseball world from, from barstool? Huh?

[B]

Christian Yellow.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Like if somehow. Yeah, that's a good one though. Like if Yellich played for the Yankees. What if Keegan got drafted by the Yankees?

[C]

Oh.

[B]

You go Arch Manning. Keegan's a ninth round pick for the Yankees. Kevin's like, he's not showing up, we're holding out.

[A]

Trade him. I don't know what I would do if he was like really good, let's say. Like actually, I don't know what's worse. If he was like a 30th round pick and it was just like he made the league. There's probably part of me that's like, whatever. You made the league, that, that was the goal, you know, versus if you were like really good and I knew you were going to have a career anyway and you. And you could get drafted by anybody, but it happens to be the Yankees. That would be like infuriate. Oh my God, that would be a nightmare.

[B]

I don't know why that doesn't. I think you've talked about that before. I don't know why it doesn't happen more often. Like why people don't hold out. Because I feel like it's been a success. Eric Lindros, bro.

[A]

Every time.

[B]

Arch Manning and who else?

[A]

I was also thinking about Philip River.

[B]

Philip Rivers. No, no Rivers. Just part of the.

[A]

John Elway did it.

[B]

Elway. Elway was the other one. Yeah, Lindross. And you gotta have the goods.

[A]

Got to have the goods. But if you do, and it's one of those things where it gets you, you become the villain. But like a minute, for a minute. But also it shouldn't even be that minute, like, cuz it's objectively like you're, you're in a. The world just expects you to just opt in and be happy about this completely powerless situation. It's like why drafting people is weird. It's like any other profession, you, you pick your own job, you know, I.

[B]

Would, I would if I was. It was up to me. Like I would. And I didn't believe in the team I was drafted by. I'd be like, I'm not playing.

[A]

I think the problem is. Well, because it is like you said.

[B]

Like if I'm a quarterback, particularly if I'm a quarterback and I get drafted to a team that clearly has.

[A]

If you get drafted to the jets, right now as a quarterback, like you're, you're going to have a bad career.

[B]

Yes. Like look at, look at everybody.

[A]

Everybody.

[B]

It matters.

[A]

Aaron Rodgers is not thriving but like playing well again. Sam Darnold went on to have a career. It's Geno Smith when he was like dead and in the dirt has a career again. So it's like. And you're just expected to be so grace grateful that you're just like in the league. And it's like I worked my ass off. It's not, it's not like by chance.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm not turning down this opportunity. I'm saying that I've worked my whole life to, to do this thing and now because like a ping pong balls, I have to go somewhere where it's all gonna end. I'm not going to be successful.

[B]

That. Imagine if like before Chalamet got dune, he had to go.

[A]

He's forced to go.

[B]

You got to go work at Tubi.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like what the. For like for years. They're not set up for my talent. Like Toby can't handle me. They get like, why can't a quarterback not say that?

[A]

There's been talks. Not, not for real. But just like I've heard online chatter over the years of like doing away with the draft system and I just, I, I also understand the other side of it where it's, it's integral to like keeping competition and parity.

[B]

But it's not like you have a salary cap. You can only spend so much.

[A]

Yeah, but like there, there's nobody in the world that would, that would. If, if it's just like if everyone's a free agent all the time, there are certain franchises that. No one's going there.

[B]

I disagree. Like, like, like they were. Let's say they're probably what, five quarterbacks drafted in the first round every year? Something like that. Four or five. Like the teams that need. They're probably only what, six teams that need a quarterback.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So I know what you mean by one. I would argue that there's like 25 that need like, like there's only like five good ones, you know, but that.

[B]

Are willing to spend.

[A]

You get a draft picker.

[B]

And so like I, I think the parody would still work out. You have a salary cap. You can only spend X amount of money. It doesn't. Like, you might not get maybe like let's say the jets have first picked. Maybe the number one draft pick chooses not to sign with you. He sees like the seventh overall pick has enough money to Sign him and a better future looking. But one of those five quarterbacks will sign your contract because.

[A]

Yeah, because there's just only so many options. Yeah, but, but I, I'm saying if you were to, like, get rid of the draft in general, like, that's, some people are.

[B]

But that's what I'm saying, like, without that, you'll get one of those five guys. You might not get the number one overall pick, but you'll get one of the five because you can offer the most money, because you have the most salary cap.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And one of the, one of those people will go, you know what? I care more about money, because there are those people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And some care more about winning and they'll go to the team that has the 10th pick. But, like, you'll get a guy.

[A]

I think it's more just like if you're like Minnesota, if you're one of these teams that's like not appealing geographically and, and all that sort of. You'll always be like, getting scraps. You're never going to get a shot.

[B]

But the scraps. I think that's, that's why I'm doing a bad job saying, like, it's a crapshoot.

[A]

Yeah. That's the other thing. The other thing is that the number one pick has not panned out in a long time. Yeah.

[B]

You might get Drake May instead of Caleb Williams, and Drake May is not the highly touted guy. So you might end up with him. That might end up being okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I, I, it's actually, I mean.

[A]

It'S, it's kind of like baseball actually. Like, baseball has a draft, but it doesn't really matter.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so it's really. And baseball, some people think is like, broken a little bit in that regard because there are top teams, but there's enough competition. It's not like it's completely fucked.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, few teams that are always in the bottom, few teams always in the top. And then the rest is, I mean, like, the Blue Jays are a good example. It's like they, they, they weren't like some crown jewel, always perennial winner, but they spent some money and did it right. And like, they're in it. That, that's driving me nuts, by the way, this narrative. It's mostly Blue Jays fans and I understand where they're coming from of like, we were the better team. That's obviously always a stupid argument, like, if you won the game or you won the series, you're a better team. But I think there are instances where, like, if you get on a call or multiple calls if there's injuries, if there's freak luck or freak plays. You know we could be like that's not indicative of who's good and who's. Yeah. A seven game series with an 18 inning game and an 11 inning game and like a back and forth. Everybody making plays, clutch hits, clutch homers. Like everybody performing that. This is not the series to say it's a fluke.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's also the Dodgers. Like like I when the Mets lost to the Royals in the World Series they lost in five games. You can't be like we deserve to win. You almost got swept. But it was like an unbelievably like like bad defense that will like never happen again. You know what I mean? Like if they play that series a hundred more times they would never play that poorly again. And it was a team like the Royals who are like a flash in the pants like the fucking Royals. This is the Dodgers. You can't ever really like I don't think anybody can ever claim to be better than Dodgers. They, they Everything happened by like design. All of the guys, all the stars they signed played all of their role players played like stars. They, they matched every single play and every single game and then just like outlasted you. I, I if anything I think this is like the last series you could ever claim that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because everything happened by design. It's like yeah. Ohtani pitched his balls off and raked set. You know. Nine on base nine times. Yamamoto was worth every penny.

[B]

Did Yamoto have three wins?

[A]

Three wins that bro. He pitched on zero days rest. He pitched game six and then three innings in game seven.

[B]

Did David Price do that?

[A]

They were comparing it more to.

[B]

He did 5 and 7.

[A]

Mad bum. They were compared. They were comparing him a lot to Madison bumgarner who had three appearances.

[B]

Oh wait.

[A]

No.

[B]

Price started seven. Sale closed seven.

[A]

Madison bumgarner had like three games. 21 innings pitched. Like like Yamamoto was like 18 innings. So but like so Madison Bumgar edges them out a little bit. But. But 000 days rest is insane.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like that is so even.

[B]

What two innings? Two.

[A]

Two and two thirds. And like I hate to be I. The last thing I ever want to do is defend the Dodgers because it's just not fun. But I really don't hate them the way it's probably because they beat the Yankees and I just love anybody who does that for me. But like aside from like the deferred money which bothers me like otherwise I don't Know, like they're all like, to me like likable players but deferred money.

[B]

I, I don't, I don't, I don't get. And I'm, I'm someone who growing up like in the early 2000s, screamed about payroll and salaries and how that's not really. We all did that. Screamed it from the fucking rooftops. But like now that I'm old, like now I, I think about it like, why should anyone use that as an excuse? Like yell at your owner like every.

[A]

Not doing it.

[B]

Every owner in baseball can do what the Dodgers do. Yeah, every owner in baseball can do.

[A]

I don't know what. I guess there, I think there's some element of like they're willing to take the deferred money because it's like I'm gonna be in LA and SoCal and all that. Like you're getting something in return because it seems like that other people are just not doing that for other franchises in the same way.

[B]

And I don't know. Yeah, but like I don't think people.

[A]

Are going to like, it's probably, they're.

[B]

Probably willing to do it because the Dodgers have shown will spend to win.

[A]

I also think that franchise has done that. I don't know how this works. I would be a little bit nervous to be like I said, you know, you're gonna give me like $600 million 25 years from now or something like that. Like that's like the Ohtani deals that crazy. Like I don't, I don't know what's gonna happen to the Dodgers.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Like I, you. But the Dodgers I think have proven like we're good for it, you know, I mean if the, if the, it's almost like the Marlins gave giancarlo Stanton that 300 million dollar contract. They were like, we're never, we're not paying.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Someone else, hey, someone's gonna fit this.

[A]

But like if they couldn't have, you know, I don't know, there's situations. I'm not, I'm not letting the, the, the Pittsburgh Pirates give me a several hundred million dollar iou.

[B]

Yeah, well, the Pirates have been around for a while. The Tampa Bay Rays, not happening. If you don't have a stadium, I'm not signing a fucking futures deal with you. But like if, if a team had shown what the Dodgers have that they're willing to spend and willing to contribute to the team.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Why wouldn't you be like, yeah, fuck it. I mean, same thing Brady did. He like, yeah, I don't invest into the team. And I, I, I don't get mad about stuff like that because every team should be doing.

[A]

They also, the stat came out that they made their money back on Ohtani already. Of course they did. And, But I also. They probably did. But also, those are things you can.

[B]

Just say, yeah, yeah, yeah. You could just say that.

[A]

And it's like, yeah, Jersey sales and, like, Japanese people.

[B]

Yeah. And someone like me will go, of course they did. Yeah, yeah. Oh, have they?

[A]

I was thinking that, that, that was. I think I said, if I was a fan of either team, I think I'm done with baseball. If I, if you're a Blue Jays fan, I don't think you can ever watch baseball again because that was about as heartbreaking as it gets. And also, they're a great, They're a very good team. And, like, they have a good core, but, like, they're not the type of team where, like, we'll be back next year. You don't know. You really don't know as a Toronto fan, so. And you just lost in the most heartbreaking fashion. I'd be like, I don't think I can do this ever again. And if I'm a Dodgers fan, I'd be like, I don't think it gets better than this. Yeah, we've already won a couple of. I don't really. Who cares about another one? And will it be as dramatic and as good as that? Probably not. It's like, it's like they were. It's like on Ecstasy. You can't go back after that. Like, you're just, it's, it's not ever going to be the same. That was about as. That was about as good as baseball gets.

[B]

That was like, that was insane.

[A]

I almost wish, like, I'm sure you didn't watch anything, right? I wish I, I bet, like, even she would be entertained by it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

People who, like, typically would probably never watch baseball, or the people who were like, baseball is so boring that every game, every play, I mean, everything was fucking incredible.

[C]

The game or the World Series?

[A]

The whole thing.

[B]

And then the whole world. Final game.

[A]

Final game was nuts, dude.

[B]

There were a lot of impressive feats that game. Most impressive. Got to give it up to my dad. I look, I looked over on the couch before Vladdy's first at bat, out cold. He was through. He was up by the third inning. And then he was just battling the whole game. You'd see him, like, catch. I kept hearing, I'm like, dude, you are Doing better than anyone who's on this field right now.

[A]

By the way. I. I think, like, I think Mookie Betts is gonna end up in, like, the six. Six rings era, six rings territory.

[B]

And Mookie turned an unassisted double play to win that series. That was a bummer.

[A]

Four rings. Four rings. And this is to go back to what we were. This. The whole reason I kind of even brought up baseball here was what you were talking about with. With football, like, how you wouldn't care about what people thought. You were going to force your way out to get into a good situation. Sort of like a super team type argument. I. I understand the idea of, like, joining the Dodgers now. Did you see Blake Snell and Tyler Glasno afterwards?

[B]

No.

[A]

In the locker room. Taylor or Tyler? Tyler. Tyler, Tyler. They were, you know, drinking beer and champagne, had the goggles on, and Blake Snell. It was funny, but it was also kind of like, Blake Snell was like, dude, we lost to these guys. Like, we couldn't get over. We couldn't beat this team, and now we're here. And Glasnow was like, if you can't beat him, join them. And it was, like, kind of funny. But I also do understand more so in basketball. Baseball is such a team thing, but, like, in basketball, if you are one of those iconic generational talents, there is a part of me that thinks, like, you should want to beat them or do it your own way or bring a title to Milwaukee the way Giannis did, or something like that. But then I look at the other side, it's like. And Mookie has every right to go do whatever you want because the Red Sox spurned him. But just him as. Him as an example, like, he's gonna end up with, like, probably five, maybe six or more.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And now you get. Now you open up the door of, like, I'm an immortal athlete.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I am now. People are mentioning me in the baseball world with Derek Jeter, and they're talking about, I have as many rings as Michael Jordan. And that just becomes, like, a whole new level life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're doing, like, books and appearances and that kind of. And it's like, if there was, again, Mookie's not quite the same because it was the Red Sox and they turned him down. But if Mookie was like, no, I'm gonna go play in, like, Cleveland, because it's like, you're not gonna get any of this. You know what I mean? So. And. And especially in basketball, where, like, if you don't win a ring. People just spend the rest of your life discounting you. Oh, never won. Barkley Ewing never won. You know, but, like, you know, you get four. Four rings, two different cities, like, centerpiece of it all. He's. I mean, what were they thinking? What if you're not.

[B]

Like, what. What.

[A]

Who would you pay for if you don't pay for Mookie bets?

[B]

Yeah, I. I don't even have.

[A]

And it just sucks now. Like, you know what I mean? Like, if he was like your GM and, like, was. That was bad. But hey, we're like, we're back in it and we're competing, or we won another one, but it's just like this one guy who was a flash in the pan fucked us. Or maybe was the owner. I don't know. I don't know all the details of.

[B]

That, but it's like, all I know is what has been made public. And I think the argument was they were over the luxury tax, and they wanted to get under the luxury tax. And I just don't. It doesn't track to me. It doesn't make any fucking sense.

[A]

I don't Somebody, like, fuck somebody's wife or something like that. That is so egregious that I would believe some crazy story behind the scenes. Because otherwise it's like, what?

[B]

Yeah, he's probably in his mid, at least by late 20s. When he was up, he was compared to Mike Trout. Like. Like, this is the guy.

[A]

Yeah. That you wait for this, and then you turn it down.

[B]

I always defended the Fenway Group. I was always a very big defender of them because they always had their paychecks. I'm sorry. Their checkbooks out. Whenever there was a free agent, the.

[A]

Sox, one time they decided not to. Was the one guy. You never should do that.

[B]

And then it went him. And then they did it with. And then I remember earlier this year when they traded Devers, I was like. I was like, I don't understand how anyone can even support this team anymore. Like, that's crazy. Well, that's the Devers one might. Maybe that one maybe wasn't so bad, that one.

[A]

I remember Indians giving up on the Indians when they were like, if you don't pay Francisco Lindor, you'll never pay anybody.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A crown jewel shortstop like you just. That's the whole point is to find guys like that. And you found one and you intentionally let him go.

[B]

The Deborah. The Devers one doesn't bother me as much. Devers was like, I never.

[A]

It was enough. Like, he was kind of being an ass.

[B]

He was kind of an stupid, but.

[A]

I kind of get it. And then also, they just were a pretty good team after they made the playoffs, and it was like, all right.

[B]

Breslo had that quote, like, that day of like, I think at the end of the year, we'll. We'll win more games without him. And he was right. Quote to drop at the time, and he was right.

[A]

But this was a one season. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, if next year you have, like, no production from third base.

[B]

But I think the. And again, I'm. I'm not super into the baseball world, so, like, I. If someone can correct me, the Devers contract, I. I think even when they traded it, there were executives going, that's a good trade.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, getting out of that deal.

[A]

Right.

[B]

One year in.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's a good job. So I think that one. But it's also really. Why'd you give it to him?

[A]

What changed in one year?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Anyway, I don't want to do too much sports, but the.

[C]

I have a question about owners, though. What. What do they like? Does it. Are they allowed to. Is it kind of like politics where they use. They can't use their own money?

[A]

That's actually a good question. I don't know exactly, like, where the dollars come from.

[C]

And do owners matter most in baseball?

[A]

Yeah, well, baseball doesn't have a salary cap. The other leagues have. You can only, as a team, spend, let's say, $100 million. And then once you hit 100, like, that's either it. Or if you go over it, you get penalties. Baseball, you can just go. So like, the Mets owner has $25 billion, so if they get penalized for going high, he's like, whatever, dude. And then there are owners who have, like 2 billion who are like, I can't afford, like, a $50 million penalty. So that's. The owner is, like, really matter in that regard. And then there's also owners who. In all of sports, there are owners who own a team because they are, like, a fan and want to see the team win, and there are people who own it. Like, this is a business.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Because if you want, like, most of the winning teams usually don't turn a profit because they are, like, reinvesting it or. I, I shouldn't say that, because I'm sure merch sales and tickets, you do make it back. But, like, initially you're like, I'm giving this money up with the expectation of, like, winning, not necessarily, like, a good return on My investment is we felt.

[C]

Like the sport that's probably most affected by external factors other than like the game, the sport.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

Like owners, trades, like behind the scenes, like, I don't know, like salaries, all that, versus, like the actual, like, sport.

[B]

Baseball, I would say probably does have the biggest trade deadline. Like football's trade deadline is Tuesday. Football, nobody cares. No one really cares about football.

[A]

Baseball is the biggest, like, free agency. Trade market.

[B]

Yeah. Although basketball's free agency. Yeah, yeah, Basketball, I feel like they don't really trade that often.

[A]

It's about free agency.

[C]

Teams determine, I don't know, sport, because.

[A]

It'S like you can put together the best team and like, baseball is just stupid. The actual sport itself. In basketball, if you have like the better team, you'll probably win like 99 of the time.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Football, probably the same. It's, it's a one game, like, fluke sort of thing. Baseball is like, you know, it's a, it feels like a coin flip like every time.

[B]

Hockey. Hockey has that where they call it the President's Cup. President's Cup. I'm sorry, President's trophy. No, it's President's Cup. No, President's Trophy. Getting confused with Stanley Cup. I think it's the President's trophy. Whatever. The, the number one team, the team with the most wins most points at the end of the season wins President's Trophy. And they call it the President's trophy.

[A]

Curse because oftentimes you don't win.

[B]

Right. Because the. The team only wins 25 of the time.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And I was like, I bet that's what it is in every sport, that the number one team in the regular season probably wins a quarter of the time at most. President's Trophy. President's trophy. The Right.

[A]

I bet you in basketball it's higher, but you're right.

[B]

In general, in general, it's probably like, yeah. A quarter of the time the best team wins.

[A]

It's probably like the second team or the third team, but it's not. It's sort of like the thing with the draft. It's like the number one pick is not a guarantee.

[B]

Right? Yeah. It's not always the last place team who wins, but like I would guess the first place team wins 25, 2020 to 25% of the time.

[A]

March Madness is like another one where it's like, I, I think relatively recently, like maybe like 10 years ago, it was like the first time that all four one seeds made the final four.

[B]

Yeah. Right.

[A]

Like things, you know, you have a. But it's also like, I. I'll take my chances. I'd rather be the best.

[B]

They call it a cur. It bothers me. I. I get real bothered about all curses, but I could very literal with that.

[A]

I would say I would rather be like the second seed, really close to the one seed, but don't get the whole. The attention of the media and all that pressure. You know what I mean?

[B]

That's what. Once you get like, like, really good, and then it's like, they might be breaking records, then that's different. Like the Bruins, like, two years ago when, like, they had the best record.

[A]

That was tough.

[B]

I just thought of something that just like, I have to do this right now. Can you Google this commercial? I don't know why I thought of it. Oh, I said I'm very literal. Like, commercial. It's a. I believe it's a Hyundai commercial. It's. It's. I'm gonna try and find it. This commercial is on all the time, and it infuriates me.

[C]

Also, after this reminder, I. I do think that I actually figured out the economy. Oh, the economy. Yeah.

[A]

That's. That's. I'm happy to hear that.

[C]

Yeah, I think. I'm pretty sure I got it.

[A]

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[C]

No, no, I came up with this yesterday and I think I actually figured out the whole.

[A]

Why don't you do that while we find this.

[C]

Okay, well, you know. Okay. And take it with a grain of salt because also know that I know nothing about these. Yeah.

[A]

Take my economic theories with a grain of salt because I don't know about the economy.

[C]

Yeah. So like, you know, like it in like youth soccer, if you win by like five points, then they. Did you find it?

[B]

I didn't find it yet.

[C]

No.

[B]

How about when I pay attention to you?

[C]

Okay, well, well, okay. If you win by like five points, then you buy five goals. Sorry. Then you like just kind of have to pass the ball around or whatever. And I think that a lot of this might be really liberal take, but I feel like a lot of the, you know, like billionaires feels like there's like a lot of like money sitting in, in there that's not being used. And I feel like it's just kind of becomes like an addiction at that point. You don't actually need the money. What if just once you hit a billion, you just get your little billionaire card and then you don't have to ever pay for anything anymore. And then you just like can go to the grocery store, flash your billionaire card and just be like, just trust me. Like, and then. But then you actually don't earn any more money and spend any more money and you just have everything.

[A]

You just basically won at the game of life.

[C]

You just win and then you just get a billionaire card and then you can just get whatever you want because you could have done that anyways, but you actually just don't earn any more money. And you don't.

[B]

I think it's a great idea. I think, I think where you will receive some pushback is from the billionaires who want more money.

[A]

But I would say we, we kind of. That's a very direct, literal sense, but we kind of do that anyway. Like they don't pay any taxes. They kind of do whatever they want.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

We already kind of like the billionaires. The game is rigged to, to keep the rich people like happy and rich. But because, but just let's literally do it and then. And then what? They keep earning money and that, but that money goes to other people instead of them?

[C]

Yeah, like, well, no. So I. Because at some point just kind of becomes like a dick measuring contest where it's like once the billionaires, then they're like, well, I want to become like the richest billionaire. But then if we cap all of them, we're like, it doesn't matter who's the richest, who's the best. Like, you guys are all on the same level. Then it like stops feeding it. Like there's caps on every, like, addiction. Actually, I don't even know what that means, but like, yeah, that just stops feeding the ego. Just takes ego out of it. And then there's just, you know, less money hoarded at the top and again this month.

[A]

But, but if you got, if you got everything for free, I don't think the billionaires would like, not abuse that power.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Be like, all right, I want 500 Ferraris. It's like, well, now what the do we do?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because all the things that you want are going to cost money. Like, other companies and other people need money.

[C]

Get the. Okay, so that's why.

[A]

But I guess I get the theory. I got the theory. But yeah, you can't just. But a billionaires club where like, you just stop and you, you. They are, they're happy enough with some sort of perk and you just stop. I get the, I get the notion.

[B]

Yeah. It would never work because I think like you said, like, I think it's like an addiction.

[A]

I want to know how much money, like, how liquid are these guys? Because, like, the other side of it is not to defend them. But like, if, if like Tesla or Facebook Meta or if, if Amazon, like Amazon as a company is worth like, you know, that's. Jeff Bezos is like hundreds of billions is like, from his company. I. I think that's a little different than like, I have $400 million in the bank.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[C]

It's like.

[A]

And, and then. Because then it's like, why don't you give it all away? And it's like, this is. It's my company.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Amazon. I can't like, give away Amazon. It's just that I've made this incredible infrastructure network and that's what's worth. I mean, I'm sure he does have like 100 billion cash, but like a lot of that value if you're not liquid. It's just like. Yeah, this is just. It's almost out of Jeff Bezos hands at this point. Yeah, there's probably 250,000 employees. There's, you know, just. That's what the trillions come from. Not necessarily like just their, their checking account, you know. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, you do reach a point where it's just like, did you see Billie Eilish at that some award? Yeah, she won some award. She called out all the billionaires in the, in the room. And at the, at the end of the night, she donated like 12 million bucks herself. So, because I was about to be like, why don't you put up your money? And I read that you did, and I think, like, you know, I think she's worth probably like 50 million bucks. So putting up like a $10 million donation is a lot of money. Because I was going to say, like, you know, as much as people give. Billionaire Bezos donated $100 million a couple years ago and people were, you know, it's not enough. And it's like, well, that's still $100 million more than most people don't, you know. But if someone like Billie Eilish, if you're going to call somebody out and then you find out that she's making a donation that probably percentage wise is like way more to her, you're kind of walking the walk too. But where, I also, like, where do you draw the line? Like, I'm sure someone else could. If, if Billie Eilish was in that room, there could be a regular person being like, you have too much money. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So where, what number is like, you're rich, but not gratuitously so.

[B]

I think billion, but I agree.

[A]

But like, so 900 million is fine.

[B]

You know what I mean? Yeah, it is. But like, like, but the B, the B marker, I forget. Like, there's a million examples of this. But someone was like, I forget, I'm going to mess the math up. But it was like if you had, if you spend a thousand, if you're a millionaire and you spend $1,000 a day in like under a year, you run out of money. I, I, for, yeah, I want to the math up. Like, it's really, it's something Billionaire would.

[A]

Take like 200 years or 2,000.

[B]

Like, for a billionaire, it takes like 274 years. Yeah, it is.

[A]

Billion is the difference between a billion.

[B]

A million is, I think I remember hearing it. But if Christopher Columbus had a billion dollars when he hit America and He was spending $1,000 a day, he still has money.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So that, that is, But I'm actually, I'm actually thinking about, I'm actually realizing how many problems would come out of this.

[B]

Because it's like, yeah, it was a fun idea. I don't know if I'll give it a good idea.

[C]

And actually then it becomes pretty socialist.

[A]

I was going along with it for the sake of discussion.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I want you to know that idea is fucking retarded. But in theory I get it.

[B]

No, I get what you. I'm picking up what you're putting down. I don't think that's the one. But I think get back to the drawing board and we'll figure out this US Economy. We'll get to the bottom of it. Yeah.

[A]

I also, I always go back to like people want higher taxes and I know we disagree on this but like I think, I don't trust that the taxes are going to people who deserve it or are being used in a good way. So I don't know if that's the answer either.

[B]

But then you got to vote for people who you do think.

[A]

I just.

[B]

But I don't know.

[A]

I don't believe in any like one person. I think the system is so fucked up that there's no one person that's going to like.

[B]

Give it to poor people. I don't even care who just give it a.

[A]

That's what I mean if it was, if that, if that was happening I.

[B]

Would be like, yeah, let's go.

[A]

I feel like it's going into like millionaires pockets.

[B]

Well, no, I mean corporations going to like I think we talked about before, like it goes to the military and it goes to. That's basically even that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like I don't want that. It goes to the military and the national debt is like, I think that's where 50 of it goes.

[A]

So that, that's not exactly. If you told me every dollar you take away from these people in taxes is going to a regular person who's bored. Cool. But I don't think that's happening. So. And I also don't know the. You know what is the answer between like I think capitalism is the way to do it but that's going to result in. In billionaires.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So what do you do? But maybe the billionaire free club is where it's at. It's like literally the billionaire boys gang.

[C]

I almost figured out so close.

[B]

Billionaires have to live in one neighborhood. Neighborhood they all have to live in together.

[C]

Then that's just going to come like pedophile ring.

[B]

Well, but yeah, if you're not paying taxes, we don't protect it. The, the police don't protect it. Good luck.

[C]

Oh it's like the purge.

[A]

That would.

[B]

Everyone has to live in one town.

[A]

All of our. All like the American billionaires in one spot that would be bombed so quick.

[B]

Every billionaire has to live in one location and they have to keep all their money in their home in There.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you stop paying taxes, the police stop defending you. Good. L.

[A]

What's the, what's the amount of money for you to stop everything?

[B]

None.

[A]

You keep working.

[B]

Yeah, I like work. I like, I like doing things like. Yeah, probably none. Like, I probably just there.

[A]

I don't keep going.

[B]

Yeah. Because I just get bored at home.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I always say that, like, if I hit the lottery, like, I'll be here tomorrow.

[A]

What about.

[B]

Okay, like, like, I mean, you could.

[A]

Do something with your time that's fulfilling. That's not like a job, you know.

[B]

I'm doing it, brother. That's funny.

[A]

What about you? How much money disappear? Because as I've gotten older, I, I, I, I'm with you on that. But there is part of me that's like, there would be part of me that's like, I wouldn't mind, I would, I wouldn't mind disappearing for a little while. I couldn't do it for life. But like, I would like to be just done for a little bit.

[B]

You're describing a vacation. You could take those.

[A]

I would need like, but like, it's probably like a three year vacation. You.

[C]

Yeah. You also have responsibilities.

[A]

I think it's much more your life circumstances where it's like, I. Money can't like fix some of these problems or responsibilities or ish. You know what I mean? So in that regard, like, money doesn't. Money's not gonna like make it. Well, I don't want to, I don't want to be naive. And I was about to say money doesn't make it easier to raise kids. Like a definitive yes, but the actual parenting part, not really. As a matter of fact, I'm finding it hard where I'm like, how do I make sure you're not spoiled and.

[B]

Yeah, what you want.

[A]

And that wasn't even an option. It's not even a problem. So some of those things are like independent of money. But then there's other things where obviously.

[C]

But you have purpose. Where like, like I don't have like, like I hate like us. Like if I got a bunch of money and then like, I just kind of didn't, like, I would just want to come here.

[A]

Yeah. It's much different if you have a job that you hate because people are like, like, I would quit tomorrow.

[B]

Yeah. Like, I remember my dad when I was a kid would always talk about that. That he like never understood why people would quit their jobs. He would be like, I love my job. Like, I don't know if I hit the lottery, I'LL be here tomorrow. And like I say that now too. I think the same. We're like, I don't know. I like what I.

[A]

What I don't know is why your dad liked his job.

[B]

Yeah, I get why you like yours.

[A]

This is crazy.

[B]

John Feidelberg loves selling insurance. He. Well, you want to talk to John, talk about insurance, he'll talk first.

[A]

I guess it's more what, what amount of money. It's like, I think I would just keep working, but I would never care or worry about it again. You know what I mean? Would not like even this. It's like we pretty much do what we like and what we're into and we're passionate about. But if it was like, I don't. I'm not even worried about earning for this company or for myself or whatever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I would probably do some even more like niche specific that I. I only care about. Right. Four people watch this. Don't care. I love those four guys.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. We're talking about my nerd or whatever it is that I like. And it's like, I don't know. I mean, there was probably a time where I would have said the amount of money I have now is enough for me to like, not care. And then I get there. I'm like, that's not really true. Yeah, like.

[B]

Well, we always say that with Dave. Dave had like. I think Dave had a blog once. I think I was. I think I was still in high school at the time when I read it. So it's probably like.05 where it was like, if I had $2 million, you'd never see me.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So, yeah, we did. Yeah.

[B]

I think the blog was, how much do you need to never be seen again? And I think Dave's opinion in the blog, I believe was 2 million. Like, that's. I could. I definitely could be wrong.

[A]

Your unit right now, it wasn't.

[B]

It definitely wasn't higher than 10. Yeah. I think it was two, though.

[A]

I. I feel like if I. The amount of money I got, like during the. When I very first, like cashed out of barstool, it's just not the same situation with divorce and taxes and family and all that stuff. But if I just had like that, I think that. I think that would have been. I know that would have been enough money for me to. If I wanted to disappear or stop totally caring. But where I ended up afterwards, it's like, I gotta still work. But I think I was like there for a split second. But I think it's more about the worry. Because that's the other thing I worry too. I've realized too, is like.

[B]

It'S little.

[A]

Things now that I'm okay with. That I probably take for granted where it's just like, I don't even look at the cost of like, my utility bill.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And there used to be a time.

[B]

Where I'd be like, I was using.

[A]

The air conditioner way too much this month. That's that sort of. That I just. I'm lucky enough to, like, I don't care about that anymore. And I think that it's just a series of like, do you make enough money to not worry about this thing? And then that thing and that thing. It's like. And then it gets big. It's like, I don't worry about college like a lot of people. Like, that's the hardest thing in the world, you know? And eventually I think you run out of things to. There's like, nothing left to worry about. That's when you get into weird. It's like, I'm going to invent things to be.

[B]

Oh, wait, this commercial, Honda commercial. Find. You'll see it. It's on course on TV all the time. If you're watching tv, you're going to see this commercial. It's. It's this guy laying on the beach. Okay. I believe it's for Hyundai. Laying on the beach, sipping a drink, got a Hawaiian shirt on, legs up. The sun moves. His car is parked behind him. The sun moves. The car's in the sun now. He holds the key up, reverses it 10ft.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And the car goes under the tree. It's in the shade now. And they're like, the moving of the car like that. Move your car without ever getting in it. Hyundai. Who the fuck needs that fucking thing?

[C]

I like that.

[B]

Why? Why?

[C]

Don't know.

[B]

What do you like about it?

[A]

Doesn't matter.

[B]

When would you ever use it?

[A]

You know why?

[B]

When would you ever use it?

[A]

It's cool.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

When are you ever gonna fucking move your car 10ft without getting it? When has anyone ever needed that?

[C]

I don't know, but I could see myself, like, somebody's kind of standing near my car and I just want to, like, give them a little jump scare.

[B]

And that's why you're gonna buy a car.

[A]

I'll tell you why. Maybe it's why people do it. It's. It's it because they go like this. Watch this.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

When are you even gonna be able to go watch this?

[A]

I would make it Happen. I would just be like.

[B]

Like, you can't do it in your driveway. You can't. Like, like, where would you ever need this parking lot?

[A]

Why? Because. Watch this.

[B]

It is. It's the stupidest thing I've ever seen.

[A]

And I was. At first, I was like, oh, a new feature. And I was like, there's no.

[B]

You'll never need it. You'll never need to move your car 10ft without being in it.

[A]

Only thing I could think of it. And. And this actually might be worth it if. As long as this isn't like a crazy expensive feature. If I. This is, like, so specific to me in my life right now because I have a carport. It's not like a garage. It's just like a roof.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

If my car was not under the carport and it started to snow and it was cold out and I could just go and it would move in, I would do that.

[B]

That's fine.

[A]

That's about it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You might find yourself in that situation once every decade. Yeah. Maybe what I would do.

[A]

Well, I'll tell you what I would do is I would be like, oh, snow's in the forecast. I'm gonna drive home and I'm gonna park it right outside my carport and I'm gonna see if the snow comes down. I go, watch this.

[B]

Maybe it's not Hyundai Pavs. I don't know. Maybe it's a car who advertises with us in the segment, never ends up.

[A]

In the thing, but, like, parking assist. That's it. Yeah. Nissan. I wonder. I wonder if there's an example of, like, his is like, he's moving it out of the sun, right?

[B]

Like, yeah, he's moving out of the sun.

[A]

Hot. Yeah. I mean, it's one of those things where it's insanely, like, gratuitous. Extra not necessary. Unnecessary. But if it was like, yo, your car is going to be roasting hot and you can just push a button and it'll move into the shade, I would do it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I would never base my car purchase off of it. But if someone ever said, yo, you should move your car right now, or you could just do it with your fucking thing. I'd be like, I'll do my thing.

[B]

But that'll never happen. That'll never, ever happen. They'll. You're like, you'll never be in a position where you see your car now in the sun 10ft away, is wide open. The whole path on those 10ft is wide open. And you can just move the car you won't find yourself in that situation.

[A]

This is a googling masterclass from Tabs. This is the definitive path. Struggling to Google. I mean, this is crazy.

[B]

In my defense, I can't find it either, so. Got you on that one.

[A]

Let me see, let me see.

[C]

So is it, is it.

[B]

It's a very popular commercial. It's on like every commercial.

[C]

Does the car back or does it sense that's in the sun and then moves it to the shade?

[B]

It moves the car back and the shade happens to be 10ft back.

[C]

Okay, got it, got it, got it.

[B]

It, it's. It. It bothers me in a way I can't express. Like, boils my blood. Jackie. It boils my blood to this kind of. Cuz it's just like why I. I guess my, my issue really is, is with advertising. Like that commercial would say, you need a car. We sell cars. Yeah, that's what it should say.

[C]

We want your money.

[A]

But you know what this is, is, is this is maybe it's like skims.

[C]

Bush underwear where it's like it just wants.

[A]

I think, I think what it is, it's almost like the, what they're. This car is getting into like the tech world where you know, every year there's like those conferences where they unveil all the new technology.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's always. That's like cool. I don't know, in like a science fiction way. I'm like, that looks like it's from Back to the Future.

[C]

Cool.

[A]

I, I don't need like the toaster that like automatically. You know what I mean? So people invent like problems to solve with their new technology just to be like, look at this. And that's the newest thing.

[B]

If exhibit was like, yeah, your car gets hot sometimes we put a remote, it rolls back 10ft. I'd be like, X. I don't really need that.

[A]

You know what I would prefer is something that's like. Like in this example, they're trying to like get it out of the sun. I'd be like, I don't know. I would, I would rather I push a button and like the windows get tinted or something and it doesn't get hot. Like, like they're like figure out the actual solution to the problem rather than you can just move it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like whatever problem you've invented that is gonna be fixed by this remote moving, just fix that problem.

[B]

But that problem won't exist because I'm never gonna see my car. When I park my car, I don't stand there and stare at it. So I haven't. I parked it. I don't see that it's in the sun now.

[C]

But maybe. But maybe, like, if you're in the grocery store store, you have a dog in the car.

[A]

Yeah, I was trying to, but then.

[C]

I guess you can't even.

[B]

Like, we're just trying to come up with crazy stuff. And they're not even working either.

[C]

But you know what? This is like. Did you guys ever see that? The clip of the Marriott guy, like, saying that the way that you pronounce his last name. Everyone pronounces it wrong. They all say Marriott, but it's. It's Marriott. Or he said it's like Chariot. It's Marriott.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Or whatever. And so then he's saying. Everyone's saying it wrong. And I was like, how about you just shut the fuck up and take our money, your millions, billions, whatever, and you let us pronounce it however the fuck we're going to pronounce it. But then I was kind of like, every time I pass Marriott, I'm kind of just like, with whoever I'm with, I'm like, by the way, do you know that we're all saying it wrong? And it's a fun fact, and I love pulling out spurs conversation every single time. And it's brought me so much joy to be able to, like, even right now. You guys didn't even know that that.

[A]

Was a good little tip.

[B]

It's a great advertising. Yeah, that's how advertising should be done. You mispronounce the name for 20 years and then you issue a correction.

[C]

That's how all viral podcast clips happen. Somebody mispronounces something, you gotta say that word.

[A]

Wait, okay, I got it. I got it. You have been, like, boxed in, in the parking lot. Can't, like, open the doors, you know?

[B]

Okay, all right, that's.

[A]

That is the use.

[B]

That's our first.

[A]

You got kids. You got a. A stroller. You got like. Like, get them in. You don't want to ding anybody.

[C]

Okay, I got another one. Sinkhole. Okay, Your. Your car is, like, teetering on the edge, like, it's about to fall into.

[A]

The danger for you to get in.

[C]

You can't get in. You have a dog in the car.

[B]

Sinkholes, crammed parking lots. Okay, all right, we're held hostage.

[A]

Whatever it is, that's good. Gun to your head. And then you got the remote. He's got a gun point at you, and then you know that, yeah, if you could back up, you could kill.

[B]

Him, and he would Back up the car. Starting would probably make him pull the trigger.

[A]

We'll see.

[B]

New feature.

[A]

Silent, silent.

[B]

Turn on. He probably go. You're probably gonna drive right now, aren't you?

[C]

You're with a girlfriend. She's. You're at the grocery store. Okay. She. You're like, I'm just gonna run in. Do you want to come run in with me? She's like, no, I'm just gonna, like, stay in the car or whatever. Okay, you go in the car. You don't tell her about this new little feature. Yeah. You jerk the car 10ft back, she freaks out. You watch her reaction. Hilarious.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Terrifying your girlfriend.

[B]

Terrifying your girlfriend.

[A]

Number four.

[B]

Number one.

[A]

That is number one. Watch this. Scared you?

[C]

Yeah. Another one. Okay. Single happens behind the car. Girlfriend's in the car. You don't like your girlfriend.

[A]

Kill her.

[B]

Reverse kill her.

[C]

She got killed by the sinkhole.

[A]

Maybe like five, ten years from now, remote driving assist would be so popular that people will assume that, but right now, they would just assume the sinkhole ate it up.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

No one would be like, going, I saw that car move backwards with nobody in it. That that guy must have killed.

[B]

It's a perfect crap.

[C]

You go find me in the commercial.

[B]

That even says, this is not even a thing.

[A]

There's a guy on a beach. Yeah, yeah, we've heard that before. It doesn't exist. Doesn't exist. That. That is. I'm sure there are people who have made billions off of inventing problems to solve. Yeah, for sure. For sure. And eventually they maybe do become real problems. But initially it's like, this is not a thing.

[B]

So stupid. If you bought a car because of that, kill yourself.

[A]

Back your car up into the sinkhole and kill yourself.

[B]

That car definitely advertises with us.

[C]

What do you think about the car that, like, can you jump 10ft?

[A]

I think it's very dumb, I think, kind of fascination. I think it's cooler than a cool. A car that can't jump 10ft.

[C]

It's.

[B]

It's. If it's. If you're showing that to me at a conference, I'm going, it's pretty cool. I don't need it. But it's pretty cool. If you're advert. If you're actively advertising this car jumps 10ft, I'll get mad.

[A]

Yeah, but. But you know what? Like, I don't know, 90% of the world is people going, that's cool, right?

[B]

Yeah, no, it's like.

[A]

It's almost like to keep with cars, it's like low riders like bouncing. I would never want to drive one of those, but when I see them.

[B]

Like, oh, that's cool. More use. More use still in the.

[A]

What, bouncing low riders? Yeah. What's the use?

[B]

Well, it's not like a good. Like, you. Like, you could show it to people. So while you're driving, this is not.

[A]

Cool enough nor functional enough. Correct. Stuck in the middle.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

It either has to be Pimp my ride, where it's like, it's cool because I have a fish tank in my car.

[B]

Yeah, if you're going. Yeah, I know it's dumb, but it's cool. That's one thing that's cool if you're acting. If you're. If you're advertising it as an actual use, than it. Like, imagine if there was a car for low riders that was like, buy.

[A]

This for your family.

[B]

This is in case the car ever gets hot. It's good to be low to the ground. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But that's stupid as.

[A]

It's just like, this makes you look like a cool Mexican gangster.

[B]

I want that, bro. I saw my first in public very recently. Probably like a month ago. I was at Encore in Boston, and a guy pulled up to the.

[A]

I don't think I've ever seen one, dude. And if I have, I definitely haven't seen. On my hit and switches, like, it was wheels and bouncing.

[B]

I was literally. I was waiting for my car at the valet, and he was pulling up the valet, and, like, everyone was like, whoa. And he immediately was like, hell, yeah. He was bouncing it like, it was way cooler than I thought it was gonna be. Like, I've seen it on movies, you know, I'm like, fine. Whatever. In person.

[C]

Holy.

[A]

Does that, like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Awesome. Are you. Would you be impressed with a guy with a cool car? Car. Nice car. That matter to you? Some guy, like, pulls up in, like, a Bentley or a Ferrari or something.

[B]

Cool car. Yes.

[C]

Cool car. Like.

[B]

Like, expensive car? No.

[C]

Oh, no. No. Cool car. No. Expensive car. Yes.

[B]

No, I'm the opposite.

[C]

You, like. You want, like, butterfly doors? Butterfly wing doors?

[B]

No, but, like, I. But that's. I don't think that's cool. But, like, if, like, a cool, like. Like, 1960s VW bug showed up, I'd.

[A]

Be like, that's rad.

[B]

Yeah, well.

[C]

Well, yeah, I guess I'm thinking, like. I'm thinking, like, sports car now. Yeah.

[B]

No, I'm a no on those. I. I don't like expensive cars. I do like cool cars.

[C]

Okay. But I'm down with. I'm thinking, like, Bentley luxury cars is.

[A]

A good way to put like, I don't give a. If it's like the engine and the aerodynamic, like it's a race car. If you are like this, it is. This car is like sitting first class for everywhere you go, like lap of luxury, comfortability. That to me appeals more than like, like it's a muscle car or something like that. Like a performance car. I would prefer luxury over performance, but I'm with you that ultimately what I, what I like the most is like this is vintage, this is rare or discontinued or cool looking.

[B]

Yeah. I want a car. It costs like 10 grand. And every time I go to turn on, I don't even know if it's gonna start. Those are my kind of cars.

[C]

I also, I don't know if this is just because I'm from San Francisco, Mexico. And like, seriously, there's no point even having an expensive car because like it just gets broken into.

[A]

Is that really the case?

[C]

It's just like, like when you're in the city, like not the suburbs obviously, but like if you are in the city, like, there's seriously no point in having like an expensive car unless it's like obviously valet or whatever. But it will get broken into regardless.

[A]

Like, it's on the street.

[C]

Yeah, it's on the street. But I also just feel like. So then it's like just what's the point of like you just show somebody. I don't know. I just don't really understand.

[A]

I mean, yeah, 90 of like that.

[B]

Is to show off and that. And that's probably why I don't like them because I know why. You bought it. Yeah, you bought it to show.

[A]

I would say that like one out of every however many Ferraris is someone who like knows and cares about cars. Like, this is a handmade engine and that's why it's important. And the rest are just like, that's expensive. I should, this means that I have money and like girls will me because of it.

[B]

Even if you bought it for that reason but then got into it, that's fine.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

As long as like you have interest in it.

[A]

Yeah, that. But you're just getting it together.

[B]

If you're just getting it because you're like, I want I have a Ferrari. Yeah. Like, I don't know. I. All the power to you. Just personally, I think that's lame.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I, I, When I was living in Mount Vernon, my car would get broken into like every single night. And I like, I would get in the car in the morning and, like, the sunglasses thing was down, the glove box was open. Things would be rifled through. And. Yeah, I mean, there was nothing of value in there. And I. Because I just always, like, notoriously leave. Left my car doors open, and I just got to the point where I was just like, this is my routine, dude. I think. I think they would walk down the block and just like, pulled handles, like, locked, locked, locked. Oh, this one's open. And they would rifle through it and find absolutely nothing. And I think they were just, like, every night we got to hit the Honda, like, before. Before we. You know, and it would just be like. The only thing was a minor inconvenience that, like, the, like, registration was, like, everywhere, you know?

[C]

Were you scared that somebody was gonna sleep in it, though?

[B]

That never crossed my mind, dude. I. I built a homeless shelter one winter. It was my car.

[A]

Yeah. Was it?

[B]

People, like, didn't.

[A]

Didn't. Didn't somebody steal, like, supreme sneakers out.

[B]

Of your supreme sneakers? But they. What really bothered me was they more used it as trash.

[A]

Like, they were putting things into your car, not taking it out.

[B]

I found four burner cell phones in.

[A]

My car.

[B]

In my. In my. Like. Like in my center console.

[A]

Console.

[B]

I was like, why did you leave him here, dude? It was. It was like, February 2015.

[A]

Someone's trying to set you up.

[B]

No.

[A]

Maybe, like, if they track these phones, they're gonna find it in this fucking guy's car.

[B]

No, because you can't track a burner. The. It was. I think it was February 2015. Boston got just covered in snow. Like, every day that month it snowed. And I. So you know what? Maybe it was 2016, because we weren't even going to the office because I think Dave lived here. Yeah, I think Dave was already in New York, so we just didn't go to the office. So it snowed every day, and I just didn't even bother shoveling my car out of my. Out of the snow. Like, dude, it was a. I see that. In the spring, it was a mound of snow on top of my car. My car was 20ft high. Like, that's probably an exaggeration, but, like, it was. It was. I had to climb it. When I. When I eventually did finally shovel it out, like, I had to climb and start at the top and just unshovel a mountain off top of my snow on top of my car. And then when I got in it, it was a mess. It was like.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

It was a. Like, everything was everywhere, and then it was just a trash everywhere. And I was like, I think this is like a shack. Hey, I think these guys have been in my car. Dirty Mike and the boys. Yeah, dude, shack.

[A]

This is my 2015.

[B]

It was like a 2012 Jeep Cherokee. I don't even know what year it was. It was a Jeep Cherokee and, and homeless guys in it for sure. And they got supreme sneakers and they left their cell phones.

[A]

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[B]

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[B]

Yeah. I have a tweet in my history that is something along the lines of I don't get the Sydney Sweeney hype. I said, I said she's obviously a very attractive woman, but I don't get why it goes to that next level with her. And I did. I had the caveat in the tweet. I haven't seen what's the show. I haven't seen Euphoria, but I just don't see what the big appeal is. Again, I'm not saying she's ugly, not by any stretch, but, you know, I don't. I don't see that next level. I'd like to delete that. Okay.

[A]

I was about to talk about the people who say that, and I. I wasn't. I didn't know you were one of them. The, like, Sydney Sweeney is mid Margot Robbie is me.

[B]

I was never, like, I was never. I was before all that. Yeah, it was before all that. It was like before anyone about you. It was. I just hadn't seen the thing she was famous for. So, like, whenever I saw her, I was like, I. I don't know, she's like pretty regular looking blonde with big tits.

[A]

Like that.

[B]

It sounds very rude, but like, that's.

[A]

That.

[B]

Yeah, that's a look that we've known for a long time that looks exotic or whatever. And then I saw that and I went, I gotta go delete that.

[A]

But she also. Yeah, so. So here's the thing. She has an amazing rack, like, beyond, above and beyond. Also. It's. It's a. It's a very big difference when you are a major actress. Like, if you're on Euphoria and also Euphoria, she's doing like, sex scenes. She's. She's naked like that. There's been a lot of, like, pretty blondes with big tits who don't make it to the level of success she had. And if they do, they're more conservative. She's openly, like, I don't care about nude scenes, whatever. Like, that's probably why, like, people. It's always like appointment television because, you know, Sydney Sweeney's like, going the extra mile with her acting. You know what I mean? And it sounds. I don't know, it seems like you guys probably know better than me. I feel like, like this, this new movie is going to be like, she's acting, right? Like, Christy, Christy. Like, she's gonna be ugly and acting. And I saw that she did the. A scary movie that I thought was good. And I, I guess I really don't, I can't really say if she's like a good actress, but like, Euphoria is like a real show. It's not like a rom com, you know, so it seems like she's got a real acting career.

[B]

I mean, the other stars are Jacob Elordi and. Yeah, right.

[A]

So that's what I mean. No one ever kind of like poo poos that. So it's like this is a major actress who just happens to be like a sex bomb, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I also get that when it's just like anything else. Like when people say LeBron is bad, it's like you can tell, we can argue whether he's better than Michael Jordan. But don't tell me that LeBron's like.

[B]

Not good or not a star.

[A]

And that's just what happens when you get to the top. People are going to like throw shade. So that's what people are doing. They're just, you know, people who are mad that like, either girls who hate on her because she gets too much attention or guys who are like women haters who are just like, I don't get it. I hate this. It's like, I, I, what, what don't you get? People love like hot blonde girls with.

[B]

Huge tits to show them off.

[A]

Like, you know, she went to a fancy event with her nipples out. Like, that's what people like. And, and on a, like, of course on like a crass level, it's like, oh, like. But I also kind of like that she's like, yeah, I'm gonna wear this dress with my nipples out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I'm City Sweeney, you know, she's like moving the, you know, stock price of American Eagle while wearing whatever the she wants. Well, you know, putting out movies and TV shows like she is that, you know, it's like a lot of people, I think if, if she was like a not successful bimbo or something, it's like, I can understand where some people get mad, but it's like, oh, she's doing the damn thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're just hating because she's got it all. Doing it all.

[C]

I respect that. She like plays into it. Like, if she was totally like, covering it up would be like, what's the point of, of being blessed with genetics, Right?

[A]

Especially like.

[B]

Yeah, who the are you to talk?

[C]

No, I'm saying, I'm saying, like, that wasn't racist, right?

[A]

What?

[C]

That's Eugenics now also was awkward because my, my Halloween, like, costume was like, like my friends and I were all like knights or whatever, but I didn't have any like, kind of night costume. So the only thing was like a kind of like dress that looked like that, but I was wearing like stuff under. But it did look like I was trying, I had enough people be like, are you trying to be Sydney Sweeney? And it's like, I, I don't think I'm like Sydney Sweden.

[A]

And what if you just went all out, like, weren't wearing anything underneath it? You could just be.

[C]

Yeah, I know. I could have just been Sydney Sweeney. But I'm telling you guys, I'm beefing with my tits recently just saying that they're just not, they're just not what they used.

[A]

I thought that meant something else. I was going back to the salami and baloney nipples. Oh, yeah, I thought you were gonna.

[B]

Be like, my nipples are grown again. Yeah, no, no, no.

[C]

Those things, you know, they were trimmed and.

[A]

Why are you beefing with your tits?

[C]

I don't know, I just, they're just been small. Yeah. Okay, well, thank you.

[A]

Anyone's ever said that.

[B]

Everyone. Tiny titty nip chick Jackie.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think that's your reputation. Listen, girls, I, I, I so sympathize with girls. If, if, if this girl is gonna be like, I don't have big tits, you know, like, like I know girls who are like so hot that will be like so insecure. And I'm like, like, there's no fixing that. Yeah, you're, you're so either dysmorphia or just competition. Toxicity. Toxicity. Whatever the reason is, there are some people where I'm like, if you can't recognize that you are attractive, there's no hope.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like, it really, it really is. I really sympathize with the plight of women in terms of looks and famous girls and all that because it seems to warp even like the hottest of chicks.

[C]

Yeah. Josh Richards, girlfriend.

[A]

Yes. That's a great example.

[C]

That girl's known as. And she was like, like, because I was on the BFF store, she was in the green room. She was literally like, I need a hat. Like, I can't show my forehead on stage. Like, I'm so self conscious in my forehead. Like, I was like, I guess that girl is over.

[B]

Don't worry about it anymore. We'll handle that one for you, five head.

[A]

But even that, it's like, like, what's her name?

[B]

I want to start leaving some Comments. I think the point though is you'll.

[A]

Find, you know, eventually, you know, she's like, I've got everything else. My forehead's not right. You know, Megan Fox's thumb was like a big one. You know, her thumb, she has kind of a. Yeah, it looks like a big toe. And people were like, that is so ugly because her one nail is funny. Yeah, it's like, that's the hottest girl to ever live. She could have no hands.

[B]

She could have hooves. And I'd be like, she's the hottest girl. You can fist me.

[C]

I think, I think the greatest thing to come out of beach house and I say this with a boyfriend who I am very into, is that people. Enough people told me that my feet were pretty.

[B]

The greatest thing that came out of the beach house. Not love, eventual husband. My plan B. Yeah.

[A]

You know, she's got a safety net.

[B]

Who told you that?

[C]

And I don't even think that I have, like, really pretty feet at all. But I was under the impression, like, I had the ugliest feet ever. For some reason, like, I just, like, got in my head about it.

[A]

Gigantic.

[C]

No, they're actually abnormal size.

[B]

I can't figure out why you have any situation with any of your limbs. Why would you be insecure about that?

[C]

Well, okay. I also remember in kindergarten, Ryan Kapoor literally, like, told every guy, Ryan Kapoor, he told everybody. He goes, hey, guys. He's like, hey, guys, by the way, like, I want to get ahead of this. I have a really big toe. Everyone's kind of like, all right, well, like Ryan Kapori, you gotta, like, show us your big toe. And he was like, no. Like, I'm really self conscious of it. Like, I don't. I just want to get ahead of it because, like, I would imagine we have five years together in elementary school.

[B]

Like, I would imagine this one in the bud.

[C]

And he says, like, how big was that? So then, so then he doesn't show us, like, all of kindergarten. He, like, does not show us this show. And then first grade comes over, all right, like, we've been like, like, you.

[B]

Gotta show us the goods.

[C]

You guys won't see me differently. Like, this toe, whatever. So then, so then by second grade, we get him to, like, take his shoe off.

[B]

Second grade, we're pinning them down, which.

[C]

Is kind of crazy. Like, kindergarten through first grade. There was never an opportunity to see this fee.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And we were waiting for it too. Anyways, second grade comes around. He finally. It's like, I forget what it was. It was like some kind of Dodgebot. Like, it was time to take the tune.

[A]

It's time.

[C]

It's time to take this fucking toe out. He takes toe out. It's a normal size. Like, it straight up was the size of my toe.

[A]

And so then I had big toe. Yeah. Big rank of porto.

[C]

But, like, so then I spent, like, pretty much until second grade on just being. And I did not show my feet, you know, all of them, whatever. Then I was so in my head, and everyone's like, that's a giant toe. That's a giant toe. But I think everyone's just, like, at that point, like, wanting to, like, was so excited for this big toe that they just, like, they didn't want to be. Everyone just want to jump on board with this big toe.

[A]

Anyways, I. I think this guy, 10 years later, did the same thing in high school with his dick. This is brilliant because it's like the emperor's new clothes.

[B]

People go, is that a big day? Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Oh, wait, that's a big toe. Okay.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it was like. It was like a. It was like a. I guess it was a bigger sized toe for his frame, you know, I don't really know, but it was. But I thought I was kind of like, that's like, almost the size of my toe or whatever.

[A]

If somebody says I have a toe like this, I'm picturing it to be like, the entirety of my.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And I would be furious if you took it off and it was even remotely close to a regular toe.

[C]

It was, like, pretty much regular. And also I said that it was the size of my toe, but, like, my toe was definitely just like, I. I was picturing, like, it wasn't actually that big.

[A]

My toe was, like, really dainty and cute.

[C]

I was just like, my toe's not that far off anyway. So then I just like, spent like, the next. Until pretty much second grade, until beach house, being like, I literally, like, I don't. Everyone. But then. But then I, like, I looked at them and everyone was like, yeah, you have totally normal, like, feet.

[A]

You know, I'm gonna make you take your shoes off. No.

[B]

You know, I'm gonna make you.

[A]

No, I.

[B]

Better part of. Of 20 years. Pretty much.

[A]

What I mean about girls, they're like, this girl's been tormented for two decades because of Ryan Kapor.

[C]

And so I. Again, I don't think that my. My toes are pretty, but I think that they, like, I. I'm. I'm pleased to hear that, like, people are not thinking I have Ryan Kapor toes.

[B]

Ryan Kapoor.

[A]

Ryan Kapoor. Can we find Ryan Kap? You still talk to him at all? No, we're gonna find him now.

[C]

Sorry. Ryan Kapor is a woman now.

[A]

Actually, plot twist.

[B]

We've been dead naming the guy.

[C]

Oh, I know. I probably should take out. I actually don't feel like I'm editing.

[A]

No, no, no, this is great, cuz. We're not making fun of Ryan Kapor.

[C]

Yeah, he's.

[A]

He's gone, you know. Yeah. Yeah, well, Ryan Kapor and his big old toes.

[B]

That's not a thing.

[A]

But she has great toes.

[C]

Yeah, she has great toes. I forgot what we were talking about.

[A]

So when you start selling. Yeah.

[C]

You see, like, that's, you know, that is good backup plan. I don't think I'm. I think I'm still a little scarred that, like, I actually don't want. One time I did in college, some guy did, like, offer to pay me for feet picks. And I, like, fully. It was embarrassing because, like, I got a pedicure, like, after, because I wanted them to, like, be good.

[A]

But if you're about to tell me that this man like, scamming like, you. No. Okay, okay. Oh, no, no. I thought you were about to show him your feet and he was gonna be like, actually, there's. They're. They're gross. And then that. That would have been like your villain origin story.

[C]

No, but I, I, like, paid for a pedicure, like, thinking, you know, I'm about to get 800 bucks. I already spent, you know, I spent like a, like, 50 bucks on pedicure. And then I spent the other 750, like, in my head, thinking I had it.

[A]

Oh, God, Yeah.

[C]

Sent him 10 pics, and he was like, can you send me 10 pics all different angles? I literally was like, you can only take, like, two angles. So I said I sent them all. I did some, like, upside down, like, whatever them, like, just like, on a wall. I was, like, running out of angles. I was like, I'm gonna get 10 different.

[A]

Guys.

[B]

That guy was at home with his.

[A]

Buddies being like, yo, let's see how many angles we can get from this. I need more. I need more. What else could she come up with?

[C]

Anyways, he scanned me. He's giving me so good.

[B]

He didn't give you any money?

[C]

Nothing. Ghosted.

[A]

What's his name?

[C]

Tim Farley.

[A]

Tim Farley, you scumbag. Pay this 800 bucks retroactively for her toast clothes.

[C]

I'd already.

[A]

I, I, I, I. You know, I made it pretty much clear at this point, if I was a girl, I would just whore myself out for money. But I would absolutely do it with my feet.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

There are, I, I, there are girls are just like paint like a initial on their toenail and send it and like I do that in a heartbeat.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He makes so much money.

[C]

I know. I just like, I actually just don't like that.

[B]

That sounded like someone sent some KFC pictures.

[A]

No, I just saw it. I just saw it, bro. Recently.

[B]

Jigs will just put your initials on there.

[A]

It's like a cake.

[B]

Carvel, you get whatever you want.

[A]

I, I wish I was in defeat. I think having a foot fetish is like the best thing going right now because it's like you can get your, your, your rocks off all, any, all the time.

[B]

Well, let me tell you what I'm into. Full on sex. You can get that.

[A]

Yeah. But like, like, you know, you go.

[B]

To like, people can just full on.

[A]

You go to the beach with a foot fetish. You're just in heaven. Actually, maybe the other way around. Maybe I wouldn't want that cuz you're all horned up. Although we're, we're at that point like at the beach anyways with bathing suits the last like 10 years. As a guy from my generation, girls bathing suits are out of control.

[C]

Really.

[B]

I don't even spend enough time at the beach. I guess I don't really. I wouldn't even know what they look.

[A]

Bathing suits being like the standard. Yeah. When I was that age, like seeing a girl in a thong was like the greatest thing that could happen to you.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like you grab a Victoria's Secret catalog. You like catch a glimpse of a girl's thong in class. Like, this is the greatest thing ever. And now it's just like, I'm going to the beach with my mom and dad. Crazy.

[C]

Yeah. For some reason, like in 8th grade, this girl posted a picture just like in bra and underwear. And everyone was like. So I was really into. That was really crazy of you. And she was like, it's the same thing as a bathing suit. And everyone's kind of like, this actually wasn't at all what you were saying. But.

[A]

No, but that, that is a.

[C]

And everyone's just kind of like, you right? Like, you're totally right. And then she just kind of continued to post some broad underwear and everyone was like, I guess it's fine, but.

[A]

There just is something.

[B]

It's fine.

[A]

Yeah. It's like literally the same, but it's different. Yeah, it's Like, I don't know, guys. Guys with their shirt off is a weird thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And not a weird thing. Girls is a big deal.

[B]

I'll do that. Like, I'll take my shirt off. Like, if I'm just changing. I don't care. I'll take my shirt off in front of anybody.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I'm like, this is probably pretty weird, but it's not. The reason I did it is because, like, it's just at the beach, not a big deal. But, like, now that I think about it, we're in a room together, it's a little weirder.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Nipples strange.

[C]

Yeah. It's so weird that you guys just, like. You like cosplay titties with your nipples. Like, there's no.

[A]

Like, we're like, appropriating your tits.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I don't want them. I wouldn't. The only thing about not having nipples is you'd be the freak without nipples.

[C]

Yeah, I know, but. And that's why. But there's just like. There's seriously no point in you guys having nipples.

[B]

None whatsoever.

[C]

So.

[A]

That is so weird though.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't like nipples.

[B]

Yeah. No. I'm not a nipple guy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like. Like, if somebody had my nipple for.

[B]

More than a half, you guys would.

[C]

Not have liked me.

[B]

It's like whack a mole.

[C]

I would have the big blown nipples, you know?

[B]

No, I'm about myself. My own nipples. Like, if. If a lady starts my nipples, pay attention to my nipples. It's like, God, there's no feeling in yours, right?

[A]

You guys have. No.

[B]

No. Yeah, I have no feeling my nipples. I feel nothing. Like, no, I got. I.

[A]

Like, there's no. There's no. Like, like, wait, like if somebody gives you like a purple nurple, you guys don't care.

[B]

Oh, no, I feel that, but I don't. Like, like, if you're, like licking my.

[A]

Nipples, I'm like, yeah, well, I don't. Okay. But you can feel it.

[B]

I can feel it.

[A]

Okay. I thought you meant, like, you don't have sensation. I don't.

[B]

Like, I don't really have sensation. I mean. Never mind. I just got them hard. Never mind.

[A]

Yeah, I was gonna say nipples get hard when you touch them.

[B]

Address them, whatever that happens. But not in a good way. Like, I gotta just feel it.

[C]

Nipples get hard when you. When you are turned on.

[A]

I don't think I've ever really, like, paid attention.

[B]

I'll report back on that.

[A]

Yeah, I would imagine.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Everything gets. Yeah. Up.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I used to date a girl who had an inverted nipple.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[A]

And she used to like pop it out.

[B]

I'd suck that thing like a, like the top of a like like a nipple. Like a nipple drink. Yeah.

[A]

Suck it out.

[C]

Yeah, that's the problem with that. He said he's.

[A]

That noise.

[B]

How's that hitting?

[A]

Everyone silent for five seconds. Every time we would like start fooling around, I would watch her like try to casually, slickly like just kind of pop, push it down so it pop out. And I always thought it was kind of cute. I had trying to like let me get my tits right, dude.

[B]

Particularly when I was like I don't.

[A]

Care, I'm just so happy the shirt is off right now.

[C]

It's all good.

[B]

When I was like when I was younger my nipples were puffier. I had like very puffy nipples as like a kid like by like 10ish. And I would be at the beach before I took my shirt off, just like hand under like pinching my nipples, trying to get them hard. Just cuz like it's like when you.

[C]

Do push ups before.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I didn't even care about the push ups. I just wanted just my, my. I had like puffy like cone nails.

[A]

My nipples. Yeah.

[B]

And I don't know, I guess you get older and they just get different. But like I, as a kid I would like, I was always like just pinching them, trying to keep like even like if I was like playing like sports like you know, like sometimes you do shirts for skins. Like I'd always be like sneaky pinching my nipples like trying to keep them puffed up to keep them from being puffed up.

[C]

I, I've told the story but like one time I was hooking up with a guy and he like he was like feeling my tits and, and like he was, he was kind of like, he was just like doing stuff with the nipples, whatever. And then I was kind of like in the middle for some reason. I was like, isn't it funny that like nipples are just like little dicks and you're kind of like jerky? I said like you're kind of like jerking off like a little like dick right now. And he got soft so fast.

[B]

Dude. I've said the killer on this show, go. I've said this is back, way back in the day.

[A]

I was gonna say this feels reminiscent.

[C]

This might have been something that I like listen to on KFC radio. And it was in my head nipples.

[B]

Need to come that like. Because that's when I know I Can move on to the next nipple. Like, are we done? Like, once I make your nip come, I'll move on to the next nip. Once I make that nip come, then I'll move down to the vagina area. But, like, when I'm in the nipple realm, I'm always like, I don't know if I'm doing good or like, is this. Are you enjoying this? But if that nipple came. Yeah, I fucking know if I did my job or not.

[C]

Yeah, I think I remember the quote was, like, how do I know when to stop sucking a titty?

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. I. Bro, I've lost breath. Like, I'll just start. Like, I'm like an alien. Like, it just gets stuck to a titty. Like, am I done yet?

[C]

Yeah, well, sometimes when you're.

[A]

Remember when I was talking about making enough money to be done with work?

[B]

I don't even care about the money. You don't want a hot milk load in your mouth.

[C]

Sometimes when you are sucking a dick and there's just like already, like, saliva and liquids, you know, everywhere, and it's hard to tell the difference. And like, especially, okay, is this my.

[B]

Boogers or is this cum?

[C]

No, no, but like, if it dips in the back of your throat, you're actually not. There's not many taste buds back there, so it's hard to tell sometimes if you need to keep sucking. And then sometimes like, you know, or I ran into it where he was just like, I'm done.

[B]

I've been done. You were just going.

[C]

I was just like, it's like.

[A]

It's a whole new take on when you nut, but you keeps. Not a joke.

[B]

It's not a.

[A]

She's. This is. We're done here.

[C]

How long do you think you were.

[B]

Going after the fact?

[C]

Like a minute, probably a long, long. And I said. And I said, direct quote, I said, so it's in me right now.

[B]

I got to get pregnant. So it's in me right now. You just start making yourself sick. Dude, that would be the funniest thing. If you, like, some guy tells you you just came like, you mean it's in me? I puke it up, dude. I digest it. Then puke it.

[A]

Real woman.

[C]

Puke it up. Yeah.

[B]

We'Re done.

[A]

We're done. I had some other topics.

[B]

We'll do them next time.

[A]

Sa.