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Kibbe on Liberty
Ep 345 | Fathers Matter in Raising Healthy Children | Guest: Adam Coleman
00:39:44
Matt Kibbe sits down with Adam Coleman, author of “The Children We Left Behind,” to underline the importance of fathers in raising strong and resilient children.
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- [00:01]
Kibbe
Welcome to Kibbe on Liberty. I'm live at Freedom Fest talking with my friend Adam Coleman, the author of the new book, the Children We Left Behind. We're going to talk about really radical things. The importance of family and the importance of fathers being in their children's lives. Check it out.
- [00:38]
Unknown Host
Welcome to Kibby on Liberty.
- [00:57]
Kibbe
Adam, good to see you.
- [00:58]
Adam Coleman
Good to see you.
- [00:59]
Kibbe
I feel like we gather at Freedom Fest every year, and I was trying to remember we first met in Memphis two years ago.
- [01:07]
Adam Coleman
Yes.
- [01:08]
Kibbe
And we happened to be, like, booth mates. And I got talking to you and I believe you were working on your new book at the time.
- [01:21]
Adam Coleman
Actually, I was not.
- [01:22]
Kibbe
You were not. So this preceded that, the conversation we had. But I suspect that a lot of the themes that we talked about two years ago were things that you were building out the story of your life and this platform.
- [01:40]
Adam Coleman
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, now it's weird, and when you're writing it, you're not thinking about it. But this is kind of building on what I wrote for Black Victim, Black Victor. Because I think the most important parts of the book are talking about family. And obviously I talk about how my father wasn't involved in my life and how it sort of impacted me, but it was. It's very small in comparison to, like, giving great detail from the child's perspective, like I'm doing in this book.
- [02:09]
Kibbe
But, yeah, and in the last two years, you've become a bit of a.
- [02:13]
Adam Coleman
Rock star, as I've been told.
- [02:16]
Kibbe
Yeah. Tell me the journey. Because you were. You were out there trying to introduce yourself to the Freedom Fest crowd. What happened? Why did your stuff take off?
- [02:29]
Adam Coleman
I don't completely know. I guess I would say my strategy is always just to be myself. I'm a very moderate and understanding, compassionate person, so I never wanted to lose that. And I think you can be very nihilistic on the Internet and you can lose yourself. So I always try to step away from that and try to stay within the world. As far as, like, I know regular people. This is hyperbolic. I don't want to go down this route, but I want to talk about things that I care about and not just the things that everyone else is talking about. So the things that I care about was like, well, being a father, it was a routine thing, or looking out for the care of children and how we treat them. And I would write articles especially for, like, the New York Post, talking about, hey, this mass shooting situation. One of the. One of the bigger articles that I'm proud of is about the UVALDE shooter, where obviously people talking about the obvious things, guns and the police response and all these different angles. But I noticed that a statement. They were saying that he had mental issues. He lived with his mother. His father would come around until the pandemic happened. And they said once his father couldn't come around anymore. That's when everything got tremendously worse and. And essentially led to this moment. But it was like his father was like that last thing that he had holding onto, and his father stopped coming around. And we know what happened. So I wanted to use as an opportunity to say, like, this is how important fathers are to kids. Obviously, that situation is a fringe situation, but the way I look at it is if the problem grows, the fringe grows as well. And so we can't be surprised when we're looking at around and we have a massive amount of people sleeping on the streets in San Francisco and they're drug addicts. And most of the drug addicts that I've either learned about or encountered, they didn't just start using it yesterday. They've been taking some sort of substance since they were teenagers. It's because they're trying to cope with something, trying to deal with something. So what are they trying to deal with? Physical abuse, sexual abuse, Just complete neglect. Maybe they're foster kids, ended up on the street after they age, out of the system. There's a slew of things that happened for them that led for them to get to the point where we're noticing them now, but we didn't notice them when they were kids.
- [04:52]
Kibbe
I think I asked you this last time, but I don't remember your answer. One of the guys that I've done some work with is Warren Farrell.
- [05:00]
Adam Coleman
Yes, I got to meet him, actually.
- [05:02]
Kibbe
Oh, cool. He's a really interesting guy, and he's the one that. And we did a series of videos that. That did exceedingly well because he was making a point quite similar to yours, that there was an obvious link between fatherlessness and boys who ended up doing horrible things like mass shootings. And it was almost a 100% correlation between broken families and these horrible, even monstrous tragedies. And it resonated with people because one, it should be sort of obvious, it should be common sense, but somehow it's almost controversial to point out that families with a father and a mother and love and a certain amount of. Of financial security, that's where you create great children.
- [06:06]
Adam Coleman
Yeah.
- [06:07]
Kibbe
Are we allowed to say that?
- [06:08]
Adam Coleman
Yes, I agree with that. I think part of the reason why is because most kids in this situation, live with their mother. So it becomes translated as an attack on the mothers rather than attack on the situation at hand. In the same way, when we talk about fatherlessness, I didn't really want to. I say, you know, childhood abandonment or a family separation. I use those words because every situation has both parties involved. The women had to pick the guy, right. Was he a terrible guy to pick in the first place? And you picked him. You're sort of responsible for the man that you sleep with. At the same time, you're not responsible that he decided not to be there. Like, that's his part being responsible. So it's complicated. It's not as easy to say, well, it's the women's fault or it's the men's fault. It's like both parties are involved in many ways. Some mothers push the father out. Right. Every situation is a bit different. I think the point is that there are so many benefits of having them together, and there are so many things that we're preventing them from going through by keeping that family solid. But actually, when you were talking, you made me think about something. Mental health. Because often these issues get. Oh, they had mental health issues. Mental health issues. And I. I personally hate how we talk about mental health because we talk about it differently than any other physical injury that we go through. Right. If I break my leg, I don't identify someone with chronic leg breaking syndrome. Right. But if I have depression, they're like, oh, he must be permanently depressed. It's like, no, it's a momentary situation that could heal. Or if I break my leg, we don't think I was born with a broken leg. No. Certain things happen in my life that caused this particular injury. Yeah. I have a mental health issue because I'm reacting to the world around me. It doesn't make sense and I'm struggling because of it. So when we look at crazy homeless guy, well, he wasn't a crazy child. Right. Life was happening to him. He was dealing with abandonment issues. Maybe he started taking drugs. That doesn't help with your mental state either. We like to cut off the drug part too. And it's like, well, yeah, that contributes. You're changing the chemistry of someone's brain. So you have all these things that happen, but they just kind of shut off at the mental health and make it a permanent state. Well, I guess you can't fix it. He's got mental health issues. And it's like, no, there are a series of things that happen for that person to end up at that Point.
- [08:40]
Kibbe
Have you looked at the explosion in medication dealing with so called mental health issues? Because the other correlation that seems to be when you see a young man doing something horrible is there's probably medication involved too.
- [09:01]
Adam Coleman
Yeah, I mean that's, that's a, I don't dive into it within the book, but to me it's so obvious that this is a problem. Just because your boy doesn't want to sit still doesn't mean that there's something wrong with him. But I think this is also the element of there are less men who are involved in our society at critical points. Like there are less male teachers than there were years ago. You know, there are less male authority figures who can look at a boy like, he's fine, like, you don't need to do this. There are less fathers who are involved in the child's life as far as in their schooling life to interfere and say, no, you're not putting a bunch of pills in my kid. Right. He's just got the jitters like, you don't need to drug him up. By next year he'll grow out of it. Like, we don't allow kids to grow out of it. We got, we have to fix that problem now. The boys are a problem and the girls are more docile. So be more like the girls. And in effect we're saying that boys are ineffective girls and there's something wrong because of it. Rather than boys are different. Some boys are more active. I was a quiet, you know, low active kid. Other kids more active. They want it, they can't sit still, you know, but it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with them. There's different stages, there are different personality types when it comes to children. But yeah, throwing drugs into the mouths of kids does not help. And I've seen up close, like for a couple kids like what that looks like.
- [10:32]
Kibbe
Thank you for joining me today on.
- [10:34]
Unknown Host
Kibbe on Liberty and for being part of our fiercely independent audience. Every week, my organization, Free the People, partners with Blaze TV to bring you this show. My guests bring smart perspectives on everything from curses events to timeless philosophical debates. If you like what you hear, go to freethepeople.org kol and support Kibbe on Liberty so we can continue to produce these honest conversations with interesting people. Now let's get back to it.
- [11:03]
Kibbe
And to just circle back on a point that you made that I think is really important to say that fathers are important is in my mind at least in no way an attack on single moms who are struggling to raise their kids, whatever their circumstances might be. We're just saying that the family has not been supported in popular culture. Like we sort of dismiss this idea that fathers matter. I think that's where you're coming from too.
- [11:39]
Adam Coleman
Oh, absolutely. And I think part of the reason why we say that fathers don't matter is because we've made fathers as one dimensional. They're the income earner, that's it. And so if women can work and they can make a bunch of money, then what's the point of having the father? So I can raise the kids by myself. I'll pay some daycare to watch them all day. I'll go to work and get some high paying job because that's all they're good for. Right. And so we've minimized, in some cases, some guys do this as well. They've minimized how important they are to kids. And it's beyond money. You know, your kids don't necessarily remember how much money you bought or brought in or what toys you bought them. They remember, like my dad took me here. Oh, remember that time we went back, you know, into the woods and we did this. They remember the time because it's the most important, important thing that humans possess that we cannot buy. You can't buy time. And so it becomes incredibly valuable. And I think everyone intrinsically knows this. That is something that you value so much that if you sacrifice it, that shows how much you love someone. So whether it's your wife, your kids, you're willing to sacrifice your time for them. And that's how you know someone really loves their kids when they're unwilling to sacrifice, but they give you a bunch of lip service, then you know it's bullshit.
- [13:01]
Kibbe
So when we talked two years ago, you were almost at the beginning of your journey where you had come from the left. And I believe you were a lifetime Democrat red pilled by the hostility of your tribe's attitudes on, on some big social issues like the family. Where are you now relative to where you were then?
- [13:30]
Adam Coleman
You know, it's interesting because I haven't changed too many of my views. What I realized was the media I was consuming was incredibly biased, even though I was saying that it's unbiased. And so when you're only getting one perspective, like you're not getting the full picture. So I was really good at analyzing the information I was getting and making assumptions about Republicans or anybody else making assumptions about, let's say Donald Trump. But I'm only getting the right, the right wing perspective from a Left wing filter, right. And they filter out the stuff that actually doesn't show him as being some crazy person. Maybe sometimes he is a little bit crazy. Right. But they're showing you what they want to show. And so realizing that the media was in fact incredibly biased, very much so left leaning, allowed for me to say, okay, let me consume all media. So now I can really look. So now I can go to Fox News, now I can go to Breitbart, I can go to all these different sources, at least hear their bias too. Let me hear their perspective and see which one makes the most sense talking about a thing. So I've actually just changed on the media I consumed and that's solidified my opinion more. So like policy position wise. The only thing that's different for me is actually abortion debate. But outside of that, I'm pretty much the same classical liberal, very moderate type. The difference is that I don't think Donald Trump is the devil. Right. He says some things I agree with, some things I don't agree with. But I also don't think all Democrats are the devil and they're not all leftists and crazy ones. Are there leftists who are crazy? Absolutely. And those are the people who really pushed me out of the party and being disinterested with them. But I try to take it case by case. I try to be fair in my assessments. Sometimes the right overreacts to one thing happening. Like, guys, no one's going to care about this in two days. This is not. Well, this is stuff for you to get riled up and angry about in the same way the left does the.
- [15:36]
Kibbe
Same thing it is, it is difficult to have a full conversation. I'm a big fan of social media and I try to lead by example by having conversations as opposed to looking for the craziest thing I can say that's going to get lots of clicks.
- [15:54]
Adam Coleman
Right.
- [15:55]
Kibbe
And it can be distracting because there's, there's always a new drama. Yeah, I think, I think on purpose. Yeah, I really think it's, it's. I was just talking to one of my friends on the left and he called it the distraction. Industrial complex. Division. Industrial complex. And I'm like, yeah, that's, that's a real thing. And both sides are equally guilty because they want to just, they want a strawman and caricature the debate so that you're not focused on something of substance that really does, really does matter.
- [16:28]
Adam Coleman
No, you're absolutely right. I would love. I tell people this all the time. One, I'm Not a Republican. I'm an independent. I've always said I've only voted Republican. I would say two times. Because I voted in the primaries. I'm sorry. Yeah, I voted in the primaries and I voted in the general election. So I voted twice Republican. I'm sorry, not primaries. Midterms. I voted in the midterms and I voted for Trump this past, this previous time, but I voted for Obama years ago as well. And I'm looking at things from a policy to policy standpoint. I'm also looking at behavioral types. I'm looking at all these different things as far as why I'm supporting who I'm supporting, but I'm looking at ideas. Is this a good idea? And I would love to have two, especially two. But if there's a third, however many parties. But I would love for each political party to have a rational standpoint for the most part. There are crazies everywhere. But a rational standpoint, a rational view for the things that actually matter to people. And we'll use immigration. My father's immigrant to this country. Even though I don't have a relationship with him, that's how I'm here. He's part of the reason why I'm in this country. I understand the importance of having immigrants within this country, but just do it legally. I think that was the thing that everyone agreed with not that long ago. And now it's become to the point where the Democrats want to do the polar opposite of what Trump is saying, and they've painted him as the devil and they can't say they agree with him on a standpoint, so they take the worst position, the least popular position. And like, guys, I want to support you, Help me support you, but you guys seem absolutely ridiculous. No one likes this. When you have polling that shows, like, 70 plus percent of Americans support what Trump is saying, that should tell you something. They're like, nope, we care about the 30, let's focus on the 30%. And I'm just like, it's common sense. We have immigration laws for a reason. Yeah, like, maybe we should stick to them or change the immigration laws. But don't just pretend like, oh, he's just being some thug who's just sending in the military. No, there's shit burning now. Any common sense person would be like, yeah, the police can't handle this. Send in whoever to stop it. They don't like it. So there are very common sense things. And I'm not trying to be a partisan by saying, yeah, maybe we should do something about this.
- [18:57]
Kibbe
Yeah. Yeah. So let's get into the book.
- [18:59]
Adam Coleman
Yeah.
- [19:00]
Kibbe
The Children We Left Behind, How Western Culture Rationalizes Family Separation and Ignores the Pain of Child Neglect. I have not read this yet because you just gave it to me yesterday. I know a little bit of your story, but start with your personal story because I assume that's the basis of the way you build out your theory.
- [19:20]
Adam Coleman
Yeah, there's. The core of it is talking about my childhood. I am writing from a child's perspective. I was born in Detroit. My father was 50, my mother was 24. He was married when I was born to somebody else. So we were like the other kids. He would come around once in a while to help. According to my mom, I was very young. He would come around once in a while. Detroit was getting worse, you know, going from having a couple drug addicts and all these gangs and stuff like that coming around. So my mother wanted to get out of Detroit. So we had left, went to Virginia for about a year. When we left, I rarely saw my father, rarely heard from him either. Went to Virginia for about a year or so, then moved to upstate New York to stay with another family member. Things didn't work out rather quickly. We abruptly left. We were homeless for a bit. You know, my mother ran into this lady who had a trailer and she had a room available. So myself, my sister and my mom stayed in the one bedroom, a trailer for about two months. You know, we saved up enough money to get an apartment. But by then I was having. I was struggling, I was struggling mentally. My sister remembers me holding myself in a fetal position underneath the kitchen table and screaming. And my mom told me how. I asked, I told her that if she loved me, she would help me die. And that, you know, like any mother that would be heartbreaking to hear from her 8 year old. So she went to the professionals. And I remember the day that I got admitted into a mental hospital and subsequent, consequently, I was there for three months. And the way I describe it to people, you know, when you go to jail for three months, you know, when you're getting out, when you go to a mental hospital, you don't know when you're leaving. It's just up to some person to arbitrarily say, yeah, they can go home now. Add that to being an 8 year old child. Add that to your mother comes to visit you and thinking like, is today the day I get to go home? She has to tell you, no, you know, and I, I wasn't until maybe like a decade ago when my sister brought this up because many of these things I suppressed, I just tried to block out until my sister brought it up one day. But that was the first time I heard my mom's perspective because my sister was with her when they would come to visit. I was 8, my sister was 12. So she remembers these things a lot clearer than I do. And she would say, mom would cry the entire drive home every time we go and visit because her little boy is stuck in this place. So, you know, not long after getting out, you know, I think it was like a couple years later, we ended up homeless again, got evicted and ended up in a homeless shelter, I think for about three months. And my mother was working. She just got scammed out of, out of, out of her apartment. They took her deposit and left. So all that stuff happened probably by the age of 10 or so, you know, especially it was a rough, it was a rough 6 to 10 years old. You know, it was just a lot of things going on, constantly moving, you know, before the age of 18, I've lived in four states. Like we just moved a lot. There's just a lot of stuff always going on. My father wasn't really there in the picture at all. I would see him, I think, since I left Detroit, probably saw him a handful of times. And he would come through to either upstate New York or New Jersey where we were living, to go get fabric in New York City. But he wasn't there to see us. He was there as a pit stop to go get fabric.
- [23:04]
Unknown Host
You know, if you made it this far into the show, it means I must be doing something right. Key Beyond Liberty is just one of the amazing products we created. Free the People. We tell emotionally compelling stories and produce educational videos for the Liberty Curious. Our award winning documentaries personalize all things liberty. Independence, creativity, hard work, integrity and perseverance. After the show, check out our work@freethepeople.org and if you like what you see, donate to support. That's freethepeople.org now back to the show.
- [23:42]
Kibbe
Obviously this frames your entire outlook on the importance of actually having a father who's present. What's the thesis of the book through the lens of your story?
- [23:54]
Adam Coleman
I would say the thesis of the book is similar to what we mentioned before, that the big social issues have the common link of family separation for a lot of these different people. And I use my story as an example. Like I'm not the extreme situation. I never got into drugs. I didn't even drink alcohol until my 30s, you know, so. And I never got into Crime or anything like that. But I suffered greatly when it comes to depression, suicidal ideation, even into my adult years. Low confidence, all these different things that held me back for a long time, and it took me a long time to overcome. And that is far more common. My story is far more common to see than, you know, the drug addict on the street, the guy who's breaking into your house. So while you may know someone who grew up single parent home, or the kids went through divorce and they appear fine, you don't understand the journey. You don't understand how they could have made that choice. They said, what is the point of this? Why not just in my life? Like plenty of times I could have made that choice, especially in my early adult years, to just say, you know, just forget this. But a lot of it was in my early adult years. I wanted to live for my son because I had my son at the age of 21.
- [25:21]
Kibbe
What was the moment? Was there a show that you did or an Elon repost of one of your tweets? When did you break through? Because this was the story you were building and you wanted to reach people all that time ago, but something exploded.
- [25:41]
Adam Coleman
I don't know if there was a moment where it exploded. It was. It was just gradual things that were happening. I wrote a lot. I grew on Twitter really fast. I gained 100,000 followers in a year. And this was old Twitter before Leon came on. And I can't figure out new Twitter at all for growth. But I was just doing it by being myself, making some jokes and making really good points. And that got the attention of Newsweek. And I started occasionally writing for Newsweek. One time I had tweeted something out. It was about Joe Rogan with the whole controversy years ago with him, Media Matters did a compilation of him saying the N word.
- [26:24]
Kibbe
Yeah.
- [26:25]
Adam Coleman
And I was like, I see what you guys are doing. This is bullshit. So I tweeted something out. And I was traveling at the time, finally made it to the airport hours later and realized, oh, shit, it's going viral. So Newsweek had reached out asking for me to write an article. And a UK publication asked for something, too. I wrote something for them the next day. She couldn't use it, so I was like, what should I do with it? Like, why don't you send it to the New York Post? I'm like, all right. So I had this name dropped, and she gave me an email, sent it over to them the next day. Great article. It's going in today. It's like, oh, shit. And from there I think my second article was like four weeks later, and it was two and a half years, maybe straight of like every week, one to two articles. Writing for the New York Post. And that got a lot of attention for a long time. The reason I would end up on television is because someone saw my article and they wanted to talk about it. Fox Business, Fox News International, they were like, tell us about that article. Random radio shows. So really now as I'm talking it out, I'm like, it was New York Post getting involved in New York Post, developing a relationship with the editor, especially the editors, even the bigger bosses. Great article. They really enjoyed it. And on top of that, actually, side note, I just submitted an article for Father's Day. I pitch to write something, so it's going in tonight's paper. I developed a relationship with them, and they never tried to pigeonhole me. You know, anybody could say, well, you're the black conservative guy, so write about black issues. I do sometimes, but they let me write about politics. This is a bad idea. So they never tried to pigeonholed me or typecast me as being something. So I've always appreciated that. They let me joke around a little bit. Something a little bit outside the box, but it's newsy. They've always given me a chance. So, yeah, the New York Post is probably like, the biggest help.
- [28:28]
Kibbe
The reason I ask is you now have a bigger public profile. And as you tell your personal story about the struggles that you went through, do you find yourself connecting with other young men who have the experience? Same story.
- [28:45]
Adam Coleman
Yeah. And fathers. One of the interesting things, and I didn't think about it after writing the book, was how many fathers who were like, I'm trying to get back into my kid's life. One particular father that I met was randomly great guy, but went to the divorce years ago. And he feels that, you know, his ex wife kind of poisoned the kids a little bit. And he's trying to get. To get in your life. And I'm giving him advice like, here's. Here's what you do. And he's trying, but I told him, like, don't give up. Yeah, like, by giving up, you're validating how they feel. Like, see, told you he's a piece of. He doesn't care. By giving up, they want you to feel the pain that they feel. Right. When they tell you, this is what I feel. And you're like, wait, wait, but that's not what happened. You're dismissing their feelings, like, acknowledge how they feel and say, I'm Sorry, Right. Be accountable and just apologize. And if they put you through shit for another year, then you stick it out. But you do whatever you can to stay in their life.
- [29:54]
Kibbe
Yeah. There's a guy that I've had on my show, a science writer named John Tierney who has done. I think he's written a book on this, but he's definitely written articles about the structural bias against fathers in the legal system and just a general bias that, you know, we love to make fun of. Dads, dad jokes. Jokes on dads are sort of dominant in pop culture. Do you hear those trouble stories as well, about how there were fathers that wanted to be more involved but somehow were marginalized by the legal system?
- [30:34]
Adam Coleman
I've definitely heard that. I've definitely heard that. I'll give you a story. I was in London, got an Uber and this guy was driving, he was talking. He's like, actually, I have another, like an actual full time job, but I do this on the side. He's, I'm using the money for court so I can have access to, to my kids. And he was talking about, you know, I made mistakes. I learned my lesson when it comes to, you know, don't react a particular way because you're guilty until proven innocent. When it comes to family court. He's talking about all these different things. I'm in London, I was like, they got the same problems. I've heard the same story from men, you know, in the U.S. so that's why I use, you know, western culture, because this is a much bigger problem.
- [31:15]
Kibbe
Yeah, yeah. So when did the book come out?
- [31:19]
Adam Coleman
April 1st this year.
- [31:20]
Kibbe
April 1st. How's it going?
- [31:22]
Adam Coleman
It's going well. I mean, it's selling. It's selling more than the first book, Black Dragon, Black Victor, probably because I just wrote a book and I just wanted to see if anybody liked it. And the strategy was completely different. But years of hard work and making connections with people, you know, having the New York Post have an entire page dedicated, dedicated to my book with an excerpt was like, this is unbelievable.
- [31:47]
Kibbe
Yeah, yeah.
- [31:48]
Adam Coleman
You know, I feel very, very privileged. But all that was like, we, we like, we like you. We appreciate you, of course. And they offered it to me, right. I didn't even say, hey, could you, like, yeah, when your book is ready, just tell us, send us an excerpt. So it's that kind of. It's that kind of support that I never felt like I had when I was younger. I always felt like I was alone. No one cared what I had to say. I was very quiet. Kept to myself. So this, this life that I'm living now is the polar opposite. And my family would tell you like Adam was the quiet kid in the corner, never talked about anything. But I was always observant, paying attention and analyzing things. And if I felt comfortable, then I would talk to you. So, you know, I don't know if I deal deviated from your question, but.
- [32:36]
Kibbe
No, like it, it's this, this, this is why I'm optimistic about the ability of, of independent. I don't know if I'd call you a journalist, but you're, we'll call you an influencer. I don't, I don't, I guess you.
- [32:51]
Adam Coleman
Could say journalists in some respects. Yeah.
- [32:53]
Kibbe
And you know, your story, your, your story from two years ago begins with I, I realized that the media was, was fundamentally biased and kind of a propaganda arm instead of a place where you could get perspectives and get facts and get truth. And the corporate media is collapsing before our eyes because of that. And for all of the issues with censorship, for all of the issues with bias and even top down systems, I'm a big fan of Elon Musk, but he still controls the platform. And ultimately we're going to need platforms that are radically democratic, you know, blockchain type platforms. But all that said, your ability to tell this story even when the corporate media doesn't want that story to be told is a powerful example of how we can take our culture back.
- [33:52]
Adam Coleman
Yeah.
- [33:52]
Kibbe
And I don't mean culture warrior in the sense that left or right, just like I believe in robust culture as an alternative to government programs.
- [34:02]
Adam Coleman
Absolutely.
- [34:02]
Kibbe
I don't think government's going to solve our problems. I think we have to solve our problems.
- [34:05]
Adam Coleman
Absolutely. That's why like within this book, I don't talk anything about politics or government, this or anything like that. Because my father's choice to not be in my life was my father's choice. I don't know who was the president at the time. He didn't care either. He made it his choice throughout the many years to not be involved in my life. And that's how people make relationship choices. So these are relationship issues. These are choices when it comes to family planning. Why do you want to date this person? Do you consider that they might be the mother or the father of your child? Do you have that mentality? Are you thinking about these things things? Or are you just wanting to sleep with the person that you're attracted to? Oops, they're pregnant. Well, I guess I got to be a husband now and then Five years in, you're getting a divorce, right? Are we just whimsically moving about this world and our kids are being dragged along to our poor decisions, or are we being very purposeful? So for myself, you know, with my background, I wasn't. It wasn't emphasized to follow that order of getting married and having children. Everything was kind of like accidental. I had low self esteem, so, like, she likes me. Okay, that's great. External validation really mattered to me. And so I had a kid at 21, I wasn't a man, and I had to raise a boy to become a man. How do I do that? But, you know, moving in that particular way, I don't regret it, but I say to myself, I'm going to teach my son to not be like that, right? So, one, I'm going to not be my father. Two, I'm going to teach him. Here's how you do it properly. Here's what you focus on. If you need help, I'm always here for you. And I think the big thing I haven't really talked about, the reason why I even wanted to write a book in the first place had a lot to do with my son. I wanted to write a book as like a legacy thing, just to give it to him, you know? So the day I'm not hearing there's a book and the reason why I kept going, it's a lot to do with my son. Because then, like, especially during the pandemic, everyone's telling you, shut up and don't say anything. You're a bad person for questioning these things. And I wanted to say I'm not afraid to question these things. I'm not afraid. I don't care if I lose friends. I told my wife I might lose my job. I don't know. Right. I'm not telling anybody until the book comes out. But I wanted to show my son that I wasn't afraid to say how I actually felt. I felt like this is a reasonable request to find out, could we mitigate Covid in a different way? Are racist cops really the biggest issue facing me? You know, it seems like a big issue for black criminals, not necessarily all black men, but, like, these are reasonable statements to make. And so, yes, you should feel comfortable saying these things. So it's always to be an example for my son. Like, my dad did that. If he can do that, I can do that. If he wants to do that. Like, I want him to do the things that makes him happy as long as he's not hurting anybody. And as Long as he's not hurting himself. Do the thing that you want to do. So a lot of this, if not all of this, it was for my son. And one last thing I'll say, you know, when I'm writing for the New York Post, when I was a kid, I played baseball and I wasn't very good, but, like, when you had a good game, your name would get in the paper. So when I started writing for the Post, I'm in Jersey, so I could easily go to the store and get a paper. So I bought two binders, one for me and one for my son. And I filled it up with all the art articles from the New York Post at the time. So when he had moved, he turned 18 and he was moving to Pennsylvania. He's like an hour away from me now. I gave it to him. He didn't know I was building it for him, but I gave it to him as something that he can. He can look at, he can remember one day I won't be here. And he can always look like my dad did this. Right. And there are stories where I'm talking about him, like being a father, how much it meant to me.
- [38:06]
Kibbe
Beautiful. Beautiful. So tell us about where we can get the book and the other projects that you're working on with your organization.
- [38:14]
Adam Coleman
Yeah, the book is everywhere. They can go to wrongspeak.net if they don't want to pay Jeff Bezos or anybody else. But it's on Amazon as well. The audiobook is available, should be on Audible very soon, but it is on other platforms like Spotify. Ebook is available everywhere as well. Well, projects wise, I have my substack, adambcolman.substack.com I am working on co founding a streaming platform called Thirst. Should be coming out, I would say by September latest, September 2025. So yeah, there's a bunch of different things that I'm working on. Still writing for the Post as often as I can, but just trying to do everything.
- [38:57]
Kibbe
Cool. Well, I really love catching up with you.
- [39:00]
Adam Coleman
Yeah, absolutely.
- [39:00]
Kibbe
We should do this at Freedom Fest next year.
- [39:02]
Adam Coleman
Yes.
- [39:03]
Kibbe
Thank you so much.
- [39:04]
Adam Coleman
Thank you.
- [39:05]
Unknown Host
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