KIBBE ON LIBERTY, EPISODE 351
"How Do We Make America Love Again?"
Guest: Dr. Warren Farrell
Date: September 24, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, libertarian thinker Matt Kibbe sits down with Dr. Warren Farrell, celebrated author of The Boy Crisis and Role Mate to Soulmate. The conversation explores the transformation of feminism, the crisis facing boys and men in America, and practical strategies for building lasting love and stronger families. They ask the central question: how do we revive empathy, respect, and love—both in our personal relationships and across American culture?

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Dr. Warren Farrell's Journey: From Radical Feminist to Advocate for Boys and Men

• Dr. Farrell recounts his early involvement with the National Organization for Women (NOW) and how he was “canceled” after raising concerns about the movement’s shift from empowerment to victimhood.
  • “They had gone from I am woman, I am strong to I am woman, I've been wronged.” (B, 03:17)
  • He describes the backlash from feminists and institutions and how it required deep personal security to continue speaking truth as he saw it.
• Farrell highlights the impact that being canceled had on his career and personal life.
  • “The feminists were being critical of men and making men into the enemy…And as a result, I went from being a feminist darling to a feminist enemy.” (B, 03:27)

2. The Evolution—and Decline—of Feminism

• Matt and Warren discuss how early feminism was about empowerment but shifted into a divisive ideology rooted in victimhood and a simplistic oppressor-oppressed narrative.
  • “It went from I am woman, I am strong, to a I am woman, I've been wronged.” (B, 07:39)
  • “The victim stance did create a type of victim power. But when people play the role of victim, you don't really respect them.” (B, 08:16)
• Farrell points out the negative effects of this shift, particularly on young men growing up in a culture that labels masculinity as toxic and the future as “female.”
  • “I've heard high school student and college student, one after the other, saying, it feels to me like I wish I wasn't born male…that is not a healthy way to live one's life.” (B, 09:30)

3. Oppressor vs. Oppressed: Origins and Impact

• The conversation draws links between the Marxist lens adopted by some feminists and the civil rights movement’s framing, yet Farrell notes that in areas like gender, the concept of “oppressor vs. oppressed” is far more ambiguous.
  • “In civil rights…there really was an oppressor and oppressed…[but] we feminists sort of like, looked at men and women in that type of way.” (B, 10:15)

4. Institutional Biases and Consequences for Men and Boys

• Kibbe and Farrell highlight the societal structures that now favor women, such as the lack of men’s health offices and the challenges men face in academic and family courts.
  • “Institutionally, there's a lot of pro woman biases that punish men who are trying to do exactly this familial imperative...it’s become twice as difficult to do that.” (A, 14:20)

5. The Boy Crisis: Dad-Deprivation, Social Isolation, and Societal Risks

• Farrell explains his research on the “boy crisis,” arguing that the core issue is dad-deprivation, which often follows divorce and is exacerbated by communication breakdowns.
  • “The number one out of about ten causes of the boy crisis is boys that grew up… not fatherless…but rather dad deprived.” (B, 18:30)
• He outlines the four “must-dos” after divorce to ensure children's wellbeing: equal time with both parents, close proximity, no badmouthing, and regular communication counseling.
  • "If we want our children to have almost as good of an option of being healthy...four must dos are...equal amount of time with father and mother...don't live more than 20 minutes drive time...no bad mouthing...communication counseling at least once every 3 or 4 weeks..." (B, 32:27)

6. The Art and Discipline of Love: Practical Tools for Couples and Society

• Farrell’s latest book and couples course, Role Mate to Soulmate, teaches a structured “caring and sharing practice” for couples, focusing on appreciating and hearing each other, even amid criticism.
  • “What I call a caring and sharing practice, where once a week they set aside two hours…learning the art and discipline of a person appreciating each other.” (B, 20:17)
  • “It is absolutely a discipline…if they don't learn how to really make their partner safe to be able to say whatever they want to say…they don't really leave their partner feeling heard.” (B, 24:32)
• Kibbe wonders about scaling these tools from couples to communities and beyond.
  • “Did the same tools work to build trust and love in your most precious relationship? Well, how about your neighbors...and what about your country?” (A, 28:00)
• Farrell discusses efforts to institutionalize these practices, including a proposal for a White House Council on the Family and mass distribution of his online course through various community networks. (B, 29:10)

7. The Crisis of Meaning in Modern Society

• In today's world of material abundance, Farrell emphasizes that many lack meaning and purpose—especially young men.
  • “We no longer have to worry about whether or not there’s food on the table...I do think there’s a crisis in meaning now...” (A, 56:33)
  • “Historically, our purpose was to be willing to die in war or to take hazardous jobs...We never learned to respect men in terms of their emotional intelligence because it wasn't functional for men to be emotional, intelligent.” (B, 57:40)

8. Cancel Culture: From Media Darling to Pariah

• Farrell describes how his shift to defending men and boys led to widespread cancellation from mainstream media and social spheres, an experience he likens to a form of professional exile.
  • “As soon as I said boys and men also have problems, and that's... Every. The media that supported me just shut me down completely and cruelly.” (B, 63:04)

9. The Path Forward: From Isms to Love

• Kibbe and Farrell agree that the ultimate answer lies not in political or ideological “isms,” but in fundamental human values, with love at the apex.
  • “You go from tolerance to trading to trust to respect. And eventually… the top of this pyramid is love.” (A, 27:00)
  • Farrell: “The prerequisite to love is being able to feel that whatever is happening inside of you will be heard by … your partner.” (B, 28:24)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Feminism’s Transformation:
  • "They had gone from 'I am woman, I am strong' to 'I am woman, I've been wronged.'"
    — Dr. Warren Farrell [03:17]
• On Institutional Anti-Male Bias:
  • “We have eight federal offices of women's health and zero federal offices of men's health.”
    — Dr. Warren Farrell [08:44]
• On Listening and Love:
  • “If I hear everything you say... and then I let you know... you'll feel more loved by me, more secure with me, and therefore you'll have more love for me.”
    — Dr. Warren Farrell [21:00]
• On the Need for Evolution in Relationships:
  • “That was functional for survival. It's just terrible for love.”
    — Dr. Warren Farrell [19:51]
• On Cancel Culture:
  • “The fact that I was shut down in a much more cruel way...being the darling of the media when I was talking about feminist...as soon as I said boys and men also have problems...the media...just shut me down completely and cruelly.”
    — Dr. Warren Farrell [63:04]
• On Love as a Social Solution:
  • “Maybe I'm being too idealistic. But I'm wondering if we can rebuild a culture that at least aspires to love.”
    — Matt Kibbe [27:21]

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:09] Viral success of "Boy Crisis" and rise of censorship
• [03:27] Farrell on being canceled by feminists and the media
• [07:39] Transition of feminism from empowerment to victimhood
• [14:20] Institutional biases against men in universities and workplaces
• [18:30] Dad deprivation and origins of the boy crisis
• [20:17] Introduction of "caring and sharing practice" for couples
• [24:32] The discipline and challenge of practicing “lifelong love”
• [28:00] Scalability of relationship tools to society at large
• [32:27] Four essential post-divorce must-dos for children's wellbeing
• [56:33] Crisis of meaning for young men in a world of abundance
• [63:04] Living through cancel culture and being shut out by media
• [67:12] Where to find Dr. Farrell’s workshops and resources

Practical Resources & Where to Learn More

• Warren Farrell’s Website: warrenfarrell.com (info on workshops, resources, and contact)
• Books:
  • The Boy Crisis (recommended in print or audiobook)
  • Role Mate to Soulmate (recommended with the companion online course)
• Peterson Academy: Online courses on the boy crisis and relationship dynamics
• Proposed White House Council on the Family: Farrell is working to institutionalize family communication practices at the national level

Concluding Thoughts

Kibbe and Farrell close on the sobering state of American discourse and human connection, lamenting the response to violence and the hardening of hearts in the culture war. Nevertheless, they offer hope that, through deliberate practice and institutional support, America can “make love scalable”—starting in the home and radiating outward to heal the social fabric.

“The prerequisite to love is being able to feel that whatever is happening inside of you will be heard by...your partner.”—Dr. Warren Farrell [28:24]

For more, follow Dr. Warren Farrell on X/Twitter, check out his workshops, and explore his books and online courses.
As always, find Matt Kibbe and the Free the People team at freethepeople.org.