I am Jesus Christ - Gamescast Plays

Summary

Kinda Funny Gamescast Plays: I Am Jesus Christ

Date: April 2, 2026
Hosts: Greg Miller, Nick Scarpino, (featuring Barrett & chat participation)

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Episode Overview

In this irreverent yet sincere Gamescast Plays episode, Greg Miller and Nick Scarpino dive into I Am Jesus Christ, an ambitious first-person RPG from Space Boat Studios that lets players embody Jesus from baptism to resurrection. With a blend of religious nostalgia, personal anecdotes from their Catholic upbringings, and plenty of biting comedy, the hosts explore the game’s mechanics, biblical storytelling, puzzles, and its often-serious intent. Amid playful mockery, they reflect on faith, game design, and the odd intersection of religion and video games—just in time for Easter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Initial Impressions & Faith Backgrounds

• Both Greg and Nick highlight their Catholic upbringings, setting the tone for non-malicious humor.
• Notable Quote:

  “If anybody's gonna get all twisted up and get a bee in their bonnet, I've put in my time, all right? I deserve this.” – Greg Miller [01:29]

• They toast to “Jesus” with sacramental wine, bantering about Catholic rituals and traditions.

2. Taking the Game Seriously (and Not)

• The game opens with a dramatic, serious tone, faithfully retelling biblical passages, surprising the hosts with its earnestness.
• Notable Quote:

  “They were taking it deadly seriously.” – Nick Scarpino [02:36]

• The hosts appreciate the developers’ dedication, while still riffing on moments that verge on the surreal (“This is Jesus Fallout” – Greg Miller [07:42]).

3. Exploring the Biblical Setting

• They explore environments from Nazareth to Galilee, meeting Mary, Joseph, and John the Baptist.
• Observations on art direction, anachronisms (e.g., “white Jesus”), and voice acting accents.
• Discussion on depictions:

  “Jesus is a white, very, very, very good looking white man. That's just how it is... The eyebrows.” – Greg Miller [09:15]

4. Gameplay Mechanics & RPG Elements

• Unlocking “divine vision” or “detective mode” (akin to Batman: Arkham’s vision) to solve puzzles and find clues.
• Discussion of the oddity and potential discomfort of “playing” as Jesus rather than following him as a side character.
• Notable Quote:

  “It's just I have a hard time as a Catholic boy from the 80s, wrapping my head around making a property that you're selling where you get to be Jesus.” – Nick Scarpino [12:16]

5. Puzzles Based on the Bible

• Encountered a creation-themed puzzle requiring a grasp of the biblical seven days; hosts and chat help solve it.
• Memorable Moment:

  “Cool story. How fucking awesome would it be if this is what it was... when you went up to the pearly gates?” – Greg Miller [23:15]

• The hosts struggle with translation and mechanical clarity, humorously referencing needing a real Bible.

6. Miracles, Exorcisms & The Devil

• The journey accelerates with miracle mechanics, particularly exorcisms, and finally a boss battle-esque encounter with Satan featuring quick-time events and “twin-stick shooter” sequences.
• Notable Quote:

  “You Satan. You Lord of darkness. Fuck you, Satan.” – Greg Miller [44:21]

• Greg and Nick marvel at the over-the-top depiction of Satan and the physicality/mechanics of spiritual warfare.

7. Faith, Doubt, and Institutional Critique

• Both hosts openly discuss their distance from organized religion, reflecting on faith, rules, and the oddities of doctrine.
• Notable Quotes:

  “It's not that I don't believe in God or something bigger than ourselves... I've just lost faith in the Catholic Church and the rules and these things.” – Greg Miller [14:56]
  “One, being a good person isn't good enough...” – Greg Miller [15:34]

8. Turning Water Into Wine — The Iconic Miracle

• Reaching the wedding at Cana, the hosts successfully perform the canonical miracle (after some puzzling physics and object-throwing minigames).
• Memorable Moment:

  “This wine is better than what we had before. Thank you.” – NPC (via hosts during the event) [67:12]

• The humor peaks in these miracle segments, with playful references to wine, gaming, and “cult-like” Sunday school songs.

9. Audience and Community Banter

• The live chat contributes jokes, biblical trivia, and even helps solve puzzles as the hosts play.
• Friendly ribbing between participants (Joey, Barrett) and references to Kinda Funny’s community spirit run throughout.

10. Final Thoughts & Reflections

• The hosts close with nuanced praise: this isn’t a “great” game by mainstream standards, but they sincerely applaud the effort and ambition, especially compared to other “churchy” cash-grab games.
• Notable Quote:

  “If my parents were weird and only let me play churchy games, like, this would be... sure, why not? It's not a great game by any [mainstream] metric... but this beats drawing on the pages in a church pew and being bored shitless in church.” – Greg Miller [69:16]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “This is Jesus Fallout.” – Greg Miller [07:42]
• “You get powers though.” – Greg Miller, bantering about why you’d want to play as Jesus [12:34]
• “If you were telling the story through like a protagonist... that was like following Jesus, trying to help Jesus... that might be a better narrative device. But in this we're literally just like [playing Jesus].” – Nick Scarpino [12:16]
• “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes [from God].” – Greg Miller (quoting scripture in-game) [40:14]
• “You Satan. You Lord of darkness. Fuck you, Satan.” – Greg Miller [44:21]
• “Fuck you with your big dick, Satan. You know Satan's got a hog, right?” – Nick Scarpino [44:25]
• “This wine is better than what we had before. Thank you.” (in-game NPC) [67:12]
• “Again, like not... I fully and honestly respect them doing this. Like, hey, we want to make a Jesus game and we're trying. We're gonna make it fun... and not, you know, phone it in or make a cash grab.” – Greg Miller [68:51]
• “If my parents were weird and only let me play churchy games like this would be... sure, why not?” – Greg Miller [69:16]

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• [01:24] – Hosts share Catholic school credentials, setting the basis for their humor.
• [02:36] – Immediate realization the game plays it “deadly seriously.”
• [07:42] – “Jesus Fallout” comparison and discussions of game structure.
• [12:16] – Debate over playing as Jesus vs. following him.
• [23:15–24:25] – Biblical creation puzzle + pearly gates humor.
• [33:40–41:00] – Satan temptation sequence; twin-stick minigame confusion and triumph.
• [51:02–54:35] – Miracle/exorcism introduced, more RPG mechanics.
• [61:29–68:30] – Water into wine miracle at Cana; biblical object-throwing puzzle.
• [68:48–69:32] – Final thoughts: sincere appreciation for effort, nuanced criticism.

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Episode Tone & Language

• Lightly irreverent but respectful of faith traditions.
• Heavy use of sarcasm, comedy, and self-deprecation.
• Insightful critiques of both game design and religious storytelling.
• Interactive, conversational, sometimes chaotic—hallmarks of Kinda Funny’s style.

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Bottom Line

Kinda Funny’s playthrough of “I Am Jesus Christ” approaches biblical subject matter with both skeptical humor and genuine curiosity. The hosts poke fun at game mechanics and narrative oddities, but ultimately respect the developers’ ambitious attempt. For lapsed Catholics, gamers with a sense of humor, or anyone curious what a “Jesus RPG” could be, this episode delivers a unique, entertaining, and—dare we say—miraculous discussion.

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Peace be with you. Until next time.

Transcript

[Greg Miller]

If unwanted thoughts are taking over, don't wait to get help. Visit nocd.com to book a free call with their team.

[Nick Scarpino]

If you want to get our shows ad free and our exclusive shows go to patreon.com kinda funny.

[Greg Miller]

In the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit. What's up everybody? Welcome to a Kinda Funny Games Cast plays. Today, Sister Scarpino and I are tackling I Am Jesus Christ. If you aren't aware, it's a brand new game from developer Space Boat Studios, published by Playaway SA Steam. Description reads, walk in the footsteps of Jesus in this immersive first person retelling of his life from baptism to resurrection. Perform iconic miracles, meet biblical figures and explore the Holy Land from Jerusalem to Galilee. Experience the story of the Messiah and I am Jesus Christ. And I said, what better way to celebrate another glorious Thursday here as we build up to Easter than jumping into I am Jesus Christ. Of course, I'll start you off with

[Nick Scarpino]

a little bit of the sacrament. I need a little sacrament, a little

[Greg Miller]

bit of the blood, you know what I mean?

[Nick Scarpino]

I need a little sacrament to get

[Barrett]

me through the day.

[Greg Miller]

It will be shed for you and for all.

[Nick Scarpino]

Thank you, Father Miller. I appreciate you.

[Greg Miller]

Now, of course, gamescast Play, usually a pretty buttoned up editorial product. This will be buttoned up. This will be editorial. But most importantly, what we need to remember, everybody, is that Nick and I were raised Catholic.

[Nick Scarpino]

Catholic.

[Greg Miller]

13 years of Catholic school right here.

[Nick Scarpino]

I had four years of Catholic school going into four.

[Greg Miller]

So if anybody's gonna get all twisted up and get a bee in their bonnet, I've put in my time, all right? I deserve this. All right? I can make whatever joke I want today. Give me a little cheers there. Cheers to you, Jesus.

[Nick Scarpino]

My Lord and savior, Tim Guinness.

[Greg Miller]

Thank God he's gone. You know what I mean? So we're gonna jump in. Usually gamescast plays you've played ahead of time. You have something to say. Sure. But this one, we had to jump in. We had to come in blind, you know what I mean? Jesus, take the wheel.

[Nick Scarpino]

They say we do have someone listening, leading us.

[Greg Miller]

My boss is a Jewish carpenter.

[Nick Scarpino]

You think we're gonna fist fight Pontius Pilot?

[Greg Miller]

Let's jump in. We're starting it. Don't hesitate to send your feedback to feedbackpaceboatstudios.com everybody. Thank you for tuning in. So many of you in the chat right now. I see you going over kind of Faithy up in here says Ethic Blur. I appreciate that. If you're watching, listening later, maybe on the podcast feed. Excited to jump in. The screenshots I see don't look bad.

[Nick Scarpino]

Sure.

[Greg Miller]

And if you're new, if you haven't paid attention, I am. Jesus Christ. Taking it seriously.

[Nick Scarpino]

That was going to be my question.

[Greg Miller]

John 1:1.

[Barrett]

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God. And the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.

[Greg Miller]

Seriously.

[Nick Scarpino]

They were taking it deadly seriously.

[Barrett]

Through him, all things were made. Without him, nothing was made that has been made.

[Nick Scarpino]

It's a space nebula.

[Greg Miller]

Awesome.

[Barrett]

In them was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.

[Greg Miller]

Oil freak says this is kind of funny. Sunday school. Correct.

[Barrett]

The light shines.

[Nick Scarpino]

Let us be your leader.

[Barrett]

It is Earth, and the darkness has not overcome it.

[Nick Scarpino]

God's planet. Seventh day, we rest. Eighth day became flesh

[Barrett]

and made his dwelling among us.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, he created all of those giraffes. The giraffe and.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

Well, you notice we didn't start with the dinosaurs.

[Greg Miller]

Nope, nope.

[Nick Scarpino]

We sure did start with any of that.

[Greg Miller]

We started with this when you were in school and you did four years, you said, what CCD doing, like, the aftercare stuff.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, I went to St. Catherine's I went to a Catholic school.

[Greg Miller]

Was anybody pushing that? That, like, dinosaurs didn't exist?

[Nick Scarpino]

No, we didn't. I don't.

[Greg Miller]

I remember when I got to college and I heard about creationism, I was like, wow, what a very weird little subsect. And then it became a bigger thing. I was like, I. Y'.

[Nick Scarpino]

All.

[Greg Miller]

I went to Catholic school my entire life. They taught me science. They taught me evolution.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah. I think this was. You know, my school specifically was just like, whatever we can do to get your.

[Barrett]

Give him the name Jesus.

[Nick Scarpino]

So if you're. If you're cool with dinosaurs, we're cool with dinosaurs.

[Greg Miller]

Dinosaurs. Whatever it is to be, we'll just take it.

[Barrett]

And she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger.

[Greg Miller]

I started the manger.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, that'd be sick if the crawl.

[Barrett]

And there were shepherds living out in the field.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, yeah. It's gonna be a mechanic where you

[Barrett]

have to like, nails after that.

[Nick Scarpino]

Probably like you dunk him too long.

[Greg Miller]

You're like, well, I'm not. I am the one.

[Nick Scarpino]

You gotta just hold your breath.

[Barrett]

Today in the town of David, a savior has been born.

[Greg Miller]

Domo says, in my school, they taught us the Messiah. The first handful of books in the Bible were a myth.

[Barrett]

This will be assigned to you.

[Greg Miller]

That, I think makes more sense. I'll never forget we were in Catholic school again. Thirteen years of Catholic school and it would have been either sophomore or junior year. We had a new dead. We're explaining some concept. She's like, well, it's just like for us in mass when we sit, you know, consecrate the Eucharist and the wine. We really believe we're eating the flesh and blood of Jesus. And everyone in the room literally went. And she tried to go on like no, no, stop. What did you just say?

[Nick Scarpino]

Stop, stop, stop.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah. None of us believe that. What are you talking about? It's like, no, no. That' child of God.

[Nick Scarpino]

That's crazy. Oh, oh.

[Greg Miller]

Press A to confirm the answer. I can say no.

[Nick Scarpino]

Baptist.

[Greg Miller]

He resides in the neighboring area doing many baptismals daily. He shall serve as the starting point of your journey to bring hope, life and a new birth of the world and to man. You alone are the hope of the world. A soul that's a lot to put on Jesus as dogma brought up. You remember that? Remember?

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah. It's poor little baby.

[Greg Miller]

Now please seek out John the Baptist. How did it get to confirm?

[Nick Scarpino]

But I like that. Confirm your answer and skip dialogue at the same button.

[Greg Miller]

I have to hold it. Here we go.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, wow.

[Greg Miller]

You know that I love a good first person rpg.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah.

[Greg Miller]

You gotta games. Here I am. What can I loot? Do I need to eat? Do I need to worry about.

[Nick Scarpino]

No, nothing to interact with so far.

[Greg Miller]

Well, you know that makes sense. You know, this is our little. Our little house with Mary and Joseph.

[Nick Scarpino]

Nice to see this time period learn about John. You don't have a lot of context.

[Greg Miller]

We don't. You know what I mean?

[Nick Scarpino]

Jesus wondered when his father adobe huts here the Baptist. Oh, dad, Papa. He is a carpenter. Hello, Jesus.

[Greg Miller]

Father had a dream. Peace be with you. Peace be with you. Leaves the conversation. You're killing it. You are killing it. I am Jesus, Father. I had a dream. An angel spoke to me.

[Nick Scarpino]

That is truly something, my son. May the Lord be with you.

[Barrett]

I don't know where John is, but go ask Mary.

[Greg Miller]

Okay.

[Nick Scarpino]

She may know more.

[Greg Miller]

Mom always knows a man and they look at that. They put a compass up there.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah.

[Greg Miller]

And like a real full blown. We got everything.

[Nick Scarpino]

Looks good so far.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, can I climb? Can I scale walls?

[Nick Scarpino]

Jesus doesn't.

[Greg Miller]

Okay, I'm getting it. I'm getting.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, you got miracles.

[Greg Miller]

Well, not yet. I unlock the codex quotes. Yeah, okay.

[Nick Scarpino]

We all thought that was going to

[Barrett]

change the world things for themselves from the beginning. They saw them and then passed the word on.

[Nick Scarpino]

Is Jesus the mage class. Yeah. You must be right, man.

[Greg Miller]

Assassin's Creed. Eat your heart out now. Many times, Nick. I'm gonna laugh.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah.

[Greg Miller]

And I'm gonna chuckle. I want to make sure people know I'm not making fun of the video game and the developers.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah.

[Greg Miller]

They put their whole heart and soul into this and I appreciate that. It's more the fact that this is Jesus Fallout. This is Jesus Fallout.

[Nick Scarpino]

Jesus Fallout. And I'll tell you what, guys from my very limited, you know, you're the professional as far as like gaming is concerned.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, I think the church stuff.

[Nick Scarpino]

Well, as church as well. I mean, I look to you a lot for guidance just across the board spiritually and that's it. But there's. There's two ways to make this game. There's the way that this developer chose to make this game.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

And then there's the way you and I would have made this game.

[Greg Miller]

Where we would be. We would be in a lot of trouble.

[Nick Scarpino]

What is that? Where like the Catholic Church would. You remember the Catholic Church used to protest. Shit.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

And then they'd like legit try to get movies from coming out.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah. Dogma.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah. That's what would have happened if we'd made this game.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah, of course. An angel appeared to me in the dream and said, the time's come. I must go and find John, my cousin. He's preparing the way.

[Nick Scarpino]

Pope John Paul III would rise from his grave and be like, you guys can't be doing this shit. If the angel has spoken, you must follow. My heart has known this day would come. I appreciate that in. In keeping with the Catholic Church, like all the voices are very like, you know, Anglo Saxon.

[Greg Miller]

Very Anglophone. I was at the market the other day.

[Nick Scarpino]

It's nice. It really makes you, you know, It's a consistent through line.

[Greg Miller]

Exactly.

[Nick Scarpino]

It's a consistent through line.

[Greg Miller]

Can I. There was a lot of people when we were showing art of it were like, why isn't Jesus black? And we're like, you all know why we're sticking. We're sticking to the tried and true stuff here.

[Nick Scarpino]

Same reason why dinosaurs don't have feathers. We're just, you know, this is what we all believe and this is what we're doing here.

[Greg Miller]

It's too late now.

[Nick Scarpino]

This is the reality we've created.

[Greg Miller]

Jesus is a white, very, very, very good looking white man. That's how. It's just how it is. Stunning. The eyebrows. That was. It was always when I had to look at the eyebrows. The blush on his cheeks.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yes.

[Greg Miller]

Grandma Miller had a painting of him that I was like damn.

[Nick Scarpino]

So good looking. It makes you question shit. Well that was the thing she goes, you can't question that.

[Greg Miller]

Have you ever.

[Nick Scarpino]

You're right. Jesus. I'm sorry.

[Greg Miller]

The vision. We all. And I. I. I don't know how much of this is accurate chat. You can keep me honest. But what we think of now when you think of white Jesus. You know what I mean. Is actually the lover of Leonardo da Vinci and he painted him as Jesus.

[Nick Scarpino]

The coke thing that checks out. That's very hilarious as well. It's not bad. What is this? What are we drinking?

[Barrett]

Upon the wreck the blood of the

[Greg Miller]

new and everlasting covenant. This is Paso point. Peso point here. Cabernet.

[Barrett]

Someone else has seen significant.

[Greg Miller]

The cab 2019.

[Nick Scarpino]

Nice little cap right there.

[Greg Miller]

But we didn't even know.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, this guy's angry.

[Greg Miller]

We got the Romans right there.

[Nick Scarpino]

Spear of Destiny.

[Greg Miller]

You can tell I'm playing too much Starfield. Like you're trying to talk to him when I'm jumping.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah. Oh yeah. Tough one. The Roman governor's decision.

[Greg Miller]

Find out what happened. Question the neighboring shots.

[Nick Scarpino]

No man from our family has ever stood before the s. I really do think that given that it is Easter Sunday. On Sunday one of us should beat this guy. Game.

[Barrett]

You look tired.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah. I wonder how fast it is.

[Nick Scarpino]

I want to look questioning that.

[Greg Miller]

You need a new pillow. Maybe another time. What happened to I don't want. Can I be renegade or paragon? Jesus, that's a.

[Nick Scarpino]

That'd be amazing if they let you be like dip toward the devil.

[Greg Miller]

We have. There was. I saw the trailer. They had him out in the desert. I'm going to talk to the devil. Special offer.

[Nick Scarpino]

Two bowls for the price of one.

[Greg Miller]

Thank you, but no need. What happened?

[Nick Scarpino]

Started setting up my goods. It was already like this. The Romans destroyed Yim stall. I don't know what he.

[Barrett]

Do you know where the new scribe lives?

[Nick Scarpino]

Not a bad looking game.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah, I mean it's not, you know, cutting edge. You know, blah blah blah. It's. It's running well. It's playing well again. They tried really hard.

[Nick Scarpino]

I mean the world is realized. A lot of stuff going on on these tables. I'm trying to speak nicely of it.

[Greg Miller]

You're doing great.

[Nick Scarpino]

Thanks, buddy. Yes.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, it was terrible. The Romans came here and they wanted to punish him for his ties to John's disciples. Joachim. Got it. Thank you for the information.

[Nick Scarpino]

It's. You are Jesus.

[Greg Miller]

Remember, he didn't know everything right away.

[Nick Scarpino]

No, I know. I Just feel like it's like.

[Greg Miller]

Here we go. Divine vision. Yes. With divine vision, you can uncover hidden clues and interactive objects to guide your journey.

[Nick Scarpino]

Detective mode. Jesus found the place over there. He knew.

[Barrett]

Jesus saw the blood and understood it

[Greg Miller]

could only be Joachim's divine path. Follow the shimmering trails. Manifest manifestations of your divine intuition taking

[Nick Scarpino]

us to our next thing. Do it. Use it. Figure it out. Feel it.

[Greg Miller]

A Batman and Jesus.

[Nick Scarpino]

It's just I have a hard time as a Catholic boy from the 80s, wrapping my head around making a property that you're selling where you get to be Jesus. If you were telling the story through like a protagonist, that was like following Jesus, trying to help Jesus. That might be a better narrative device. But in this we're literally just like.

[Greg Miller]

You get powers though.

[Nick Scarpino]

Sandals and all.

[Greg Miller]

They're easy. Oh fuck. He got fucked up. Oh, it's you.

[Nick Scarpino]

Happen to you, buddy. I'm relieved it's not the Romans name.

[Barrett]

The wound isn't serious.

[Nick Scarpino]

I'll manage.

[Greg Miller]

You ever read the Romans? Wanted to punish me for the true story of Jesus's childhood. I escaped. It was like a left. My friend at the farm. It was a modern, not churchy, but like not jokey either. But it was like Biff, Jesus's best friend. Who like. Who covered like what? Cuz it's, you know, Jesus jumps from being a baby to being 33 or jumps from being a teen here to 33. And it was filling all that in.

[Nick Scarpino]

That's yeah.

[Greg Miller]

Jesus, childhood friend. Him dealing with the miracles and Mary Magdalene and all stuff. It was really good.

[Nick Scarpino]

Wasn't that. Wasn't that the period the Da Vinci Code covers too when he. When Jesus was out there in the streets laying somewhere.

[Greg Miller]

I don't know, I don't remember. I don't know if I watched this.

[Nick Scarpino]

The whole point of the D Code was that Jesus had in that period fathered kids.

[Greg Miller]

Hell yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

And then. And. And one of the kids was the.

[Barrett]

The Holy Grail, you know, the son of.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah. Solve it all. Do you read them or just watch?

[Nick Scarpino]

I read the book. Well, I watched the movie first and I was like, I'm going to go back and read them. Cuz I legitimately as a dumb 20 something. Whenever that book came out, I was just like, yeah, there's some real good secrets in here, man. I didn't realize the whole thing was just kind of fiction. As is much of Catholic.

[Greg Miller]

I was going to say. I'll tell you what, I appreciate the Jesus unlimited stamina again. Playing a lot of Starfield right now.

[Nick Scarpino]

So it's like I'm used to having hot breathe. If you're gonna sit here and tell me that Jesus has a stand. Bar.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

You're not a real. You're not a real Christian. Why is it black and white? Oh, you're.

[Greg Miller]

I was in. Detective. I'm looking for the friend.

[Nick Scarpino]

Detective. What was it called in Arkham?

[Greg Miller]

Detective mode.

[Nick Scarpino]

I'll point out that I do find it offensive that your cross is that much bigger than mine.

[Greg Miller]

Realize you're in the nun costume.

[Nick Scarpino]

That's a big cross.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, they. They said to the one tree.

[Nick Scarpino]

What do you think would have to happen for you to like refind your faith? Well, do you think there's ever any sense? I don't mean like bad stuff. I mean like, what would you need to see miracle wise for you to be like, I'm going back to church on Sunday.

[Greg Miller]

I would need. It's not that I don't believe in God or something bigger than ourselves. You know what I mean? It's just. I don't. I don't. I've just lost faith in the Catholic Church and the rules and these things. And I think it's just more than we. You know what I mean? It's the fact that so many people want to put spaces between you and God.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah.

[Greg Miller]

And want to put all these rules on something that they clearly don't understand. How would they kind of thing. You know what I mean?

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah.

[Greg Miller]

There's something going on here. You know what I mean? Is it Jesus is in this kind? I don't think so. You know what I mean? But I think there's something going on. So it's not that I've lost all that for me to go back to Catholicism and church like that. Like literally Jesus, reach him. You gotta go back.

[Nick Scarpino]

Listen, two things are happening right now.

[Greg Miller]

One, being a good person isn't good enough. Like you need to go and fucking kneel. I need you sign across and do

[Nick Scarpino]

all this shit, prostrating yourself in front of the altar.

[Greg Miller]

Right? Yeah. Yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

Two things are happening right now.

[Greg Miller]

You gotta go talk to fucking Father Mike Stranger and tell him what dumb thing you did. Like, okay.

[Nick Scarpino]

Hey, Greg, it's me, Jesus. Two things real quick. One, yes, I am real. And two, I'm addicted to nicotine.

[Greg Miller]

They said you'd come back. They didn't say you wanted smoke. Traveler.

[Nick Scarpino]

If I was Jesus, I would smoke. You're not giving me cancer. I can't die twice.

[Greg Miller]

An urgent errand use.

[Nick Scarpino]

Then you have come to the right place. He is in the pantry beside. Go in peace and may your message reach him swiftly. I feel like the twisted part of my brain wants to be like, this is at some point gonna go off the rails and become a send up, right?

[Greg Miller]

Oh yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

Like I want this so badly to be game of the year because the humor, because the wit, because there's a twist happening somewhere here where you do have to fight the devil and like you get. You get a choice between like sexualities and gender and all these things that like Jesus, you know, we know the Catholic church opposes, but this could have been an amazing thing to do that with. But I don't think we're.

[Greg Miller]

But that's not what they're doing. And again, like, you know, it's funny. One of my first ever paid video game reviews was the Bible game. Yeah, I did a freelance review of the Bible game for like some content farm, whatever before I. Yes, I know him well. It was bad Jeopardy Bible or I forget what it was exactly. But it's like the people who go out and try to make churchy games usually do a really bad job of it. What up, ZJ? The ball from P.S. i love you. If you remember that here's a cash grab for trophy money that then it can tack on. And so I really do respect these guys for being like, hey, we're doing first person Jesus rpg.

[Nick Scarpino]

Okay. What? I've never in my life worn a habit before. Yeah, but it's like the opposite of the Batman cowl where I can turn my head independently and it doesn't move. Oh yeah, that's really cool, man. They designed these great.

[Greg Miller]

I knew what they were up to when they were like, hide women.

[Nick Scarpino]

This game makes me want to play a vowed again.

[Greg Miller]

You ever finish that?

[Nick Scarpino]

No, I got pretty far into it.

[Barrett]

Over the hills of Galilee.

[Greg Miller]

Go back Starfield next week too.

[Nick Scarpino]

What's the deal with you playing Starfield again? DLC drop.

[Greg Miller]

They did a tracker's alliance thing when they announced a new DLC and then

[Barrett]

a big as though it led not only across stony because the PlayStation.

[Nick Scarpino]

I like the vibe of Starfield. I think it's one of those like, to me it's going to be one of those like cyberpunk where I go back after everything's 100% fixed and I'm like, I'll try this again.

[Greg Miller]

I'd be interested to see you try it. What didn't you like about it?

[Nick Scarpino]

Too spaced out. It just seemed boring. It didn't seem like there was a ton to really compel me forward.

[Greg Miller]

Gotcha. There's definitely more of that. I'd be interested to see if it's still too spacey for you. Time to go to the river. Get back.

[Nick Scarpino]

I also think I tried to. I went off the path and tried to take on a space casino or some shit like that, and I just got clowned out. This is too hard. You know, you got to kind of follow the progression.

[Barrett]

Springs of water.

[Greg Miller]

Now they have more stuff in terms of, like, side quests and shoot, things

[Nick Scarpino]

to shoot off of.

[Greg Miller]

And this new stuff, they're encouraging you to fly planets and plan.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, cool. Yeah,

[Greg Miller]

Here we go.

[Nick Scarpino]

Let's get back. Be baptized by John. He is leaving soon. You know what?

[Greg Miller]

I would absolutely adore if we just ran into Andy. If Andy had done VO for this and didn't tell us his teachings.

[Nick Scarpino]

It's gonna happen one day, and he's gonna lie to us. Oh, it's not me.

[Greg Miller]

No. He would celebrate.

[Nick Scarpino]

No, I'm still. I'm still there. I haven't eaten yet today. I don't want to get two rips and tell you what I really think of the Catholic Church. Spoilers. They're awesome.

[Barrett]

Appeared in the wilderness, preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. John wore clothing made of camel's hair with a leather belt around his waist, and he ate locusts and wild honey. The whole Judean countryside and also Jerusalem went out to him.

[Nick Scarpino]

You crisp up some locusts.

[Greg Miller]

That does sound good.

[Nick Scarpino]

Think about that. That's something you get like flour and water.

[Greg Miller]

It's more like. Yeah, it's more like, you know, them not storing correctly.

[Nick Scarpino]

Well, back then, your stomach was a lot more like. Your constitution was a lot more stronger.

[Greg Miller]

You died in 32.

[Nick Scarpino]

Well, that's, you know, that's actually with the Holy Spirit a little bit inaccurate.

[Barrett]

And fire.

[Greg Miller]

I'll tell you right there. John the Baptist looks scary.

[Nick Scarpino]

That was just kind of hot, that he's kind of got it.

[Greg Miller]

This doesn't look like. This is temu. John the Baptist. I just thought, this is tough. Yoked out John the Baptist.

[Nick Scarpino]

This guy's eyes are looking through me.

[Greg Miller]

He's already seen that.

[Nick Scarpino]

Ah, I drank too much of the sacrament. The blood of Jesus courses through my mouth.

[Greg Miller]

Somebody says, wow, we just skipping content. We haven't skipped one cutscene yet, everybody. That's just how they end.

[Nick Scarpino]

Okay, we need you all to understand we're actually slowly converting you to the

[Greg Miller]

Church of Christ Days of Creation. Rings. Rotate the rings to match the shortened descriptions of the seven days of creation. Starting from the center okay, so it's lock picking.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, you gotta do it. This is actually very clever. It's making me rethink my faith.

[Greg Miller]

Is that where it goes?

[Nick Scarpino]

No, no, it's on the other side of there. Imagine, match shit up. Oh. Oh, that's a lot of reading. One of the reasons why I hated church to begin with. Okay.

[Greg Miller]

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and empty. Darkness was on the surface of the deep. And God's spirit was hovering over the surface of the waters. God said, let there be light. And there was light. God saw the light and saw that it was good. God divided the light from the darkness. He called the light day. Let there be an expanse, waters. And let it divide the waters from the waters by the name that. You know that.

[Nick Scarpino]

Great show. Kevin loves that show.

[Greg Miller]

We're all very excited for the. It divided the waters. It's not like Mass Effect.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, I did like Mass Effect and

[Greg Miller]

divided the waters, which. Okay, well. But what's with the goofy little.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, I see.

[Greg Miller]

Like, I don't understand that language. I don't speak that language. Joey, do you speak this language?

[Nick Scarpino]

Joey Just came in for some.

[Greg Miller]

Maybe Hebrew. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It's a spin, the thing. I don't know what the fuck I'm. I just came for some water. Go ahead.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah.

[Greg Miller]

Be blessed. Peace be with you.

[Nick Scarpino]

We do have a miracle going out here.

[Greg Miller]

All I need is a miracle.

[Nick Scarpino]

All I need is Jesus Christ superstar. Okay.

[Greg Miller]

Oh. Oh, yeah. Okay. Hold on a second. I got it. Okay, hold on.

[Nick Scarpino]

Okay, what are we looking at? What are we missing?

[Greg Miller]

Well, now it's like. This is fun. Cause like, we're in an alien world up there. Those rings have three, and this has one. So maybe like day one, obviously. Light. I should leave it on one. Day two, I find it and I put it on a space with two words. You feel me, dog?

[Nick Scarpino]

Sure.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, that's not the one I want just one word. Still.

[Nick Scarpino]

Water and sky.

[Greg Miller]

They didn't prep us for this.

[Nick Scarpino]

No, this is great. But I mean, you know, it's the mysteries of creation.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

You know, you gotta figure some shit out for yourself. You wanna be invested in Jesus.

[Greg Miller]

Cool story. How fucking awesome would it be if this is what it was, though, when you went up to the pearly gates?

[Nick Scarpino]

Like.

[Greg Miller]

Cool. Spin this shit. Can you get in? Jesus. Jesus. This is your house, you know, but can you get in?

[Nick Scarpino]

Hey, man, you love figuring this shit out. You're the assassin.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, yeah. All right, I'll be right there. He pulls up in the truck, the Ranger.

[Nick Scarpino]

I'm like, did the Ranger finally kill you? Fucking Lee death trap.

[Greg Miller]

All right, now I'm gonna go for just short words then. Okay. That small? That's smaller. That's too big. Oh, wait, because you look at this. There's the numbers on them, too.

[Nick Scarpino]

Why do they have the snake skin, though? You think about that.

[Greg Miller]

I haven't thought about it. Right. I should check the Genesis.

[Nick Scarpino]

Give me the translation. Is it not. Keep going. Scroll down on this thing.

[Greg Miller]

Like the quote isn't using the same symbols. Cat's figured it out.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah. Jack knows what's going on.

[Greg Miller]

Maybe not. Nart says, do you need a Bible IRL to decode the puzzle?

[Nick Scarpino]

They're trying to translate Hebrew.

[Greg Miller]

Read the English prompts.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, yeah. I'm just trying to figure out what quadrant.

[Greg Miller]

I mean, where do I spin it and stop it? What do you mean?

[Nick Scarpino]

So that's. Oh, I see. Hover over the Hebrew.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, cheers, everybody.

[Nick Scarpino]

Cheers.

[Greg Miller]

Peace be with you in the chat. Peace be with you. It is changing. It is changing.

[Nick Scarpino]

If you hover over the Hebrew, what

[Greg Miller]

does it say when I spin it? The words change.

[Nick Scarpino]

God.

[Greg Miller]

If we weren't trying to be entertaining, we would have seen the words change. Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. Okay.

[Nick Scarpino]

I see it. I see what we're saying.

[Greg Miller]

But it was light.

[Nick Scarpino]

I see what he's saying. That's water in sky.

[Greg Miller]

Sky. And then it was land and vegetation. No, the last day is rest. We all know that. I'll need to check after that. Good old blood of Christ. That say. Yeah, okay. Okay, Okay.

[Nick Scarpino]

I think Joey just needs to be in here with us.

[Greg Miller]

It would have been helpful, you know what I mean?

[Nick Scarpino]

Up like a Christmas tree with us.

[Greg Miller]

So it was lights. Bam. And then. Yeah, we had that. Then it was water in the sky. Bam. We had that. Oh, be fruitful. Multiply the seas with birds that animals. We got that right?

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, no.

[Greg Miller]

Let the Earth.

[Nick Scarpino]

Not a bad idea. Native one says they should make you play this in Sunday school. I would have been way more into this.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, 100.

[Nick Scarpino]

I'll figure this out.

[Greg Miller]

We already know. It's rest on the last day.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, last day's rest. We know that. You had it. You had it.

[Greg Miller]

Left it.

[Nick Scarpino]

You had it. Rest.

[Greg Miller]

Damn.

[Nick Scarpino]

There you go. Sun and moon and stars. Has to be the second to last day, right?

[Greg Miller]

An was over here. Right.

[Nick Scarpino]

I'm just going to Google. Okay.

[Greg Miller]

Se creatures and birds. I feel like they.

[Nick Scarpino]

Hey, Siri, Remember when God made the world what did he make? What were the seven days? What did he make? In every seven day.

[Greg Miller]

There's human

[Nick Scarpino]

seven days. Story of creation. Oh man, I don't want this so much. Day five. Little fish, birds. Right. Okay.

[Greg Miller]

Had it. That's what exactly.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, that was all it was. That's just. That was a whole article about that one. All right. Day one. Light. Light and darkness were separated. Day two, God created the. The firmament, the sky to divide the water.

[Greg Miller]

That's what I had. Okay.

[Nick Scarpino]

Day three. Dry land was separated from the seas and vegetation and plants were created. Day four, the sun, the moon, the stars were created to govern the day and night. Day five. Got it. Creatures God for it.

[Greg Miller]

We're meeting Jesus. We're meeting God. The unlocked faith.

[Nick Scarpino]

There he is.

[Greg Miller]

Now it's Bethany beyond the Jordan.

[Nick Scarpino]

That's God right there. Looking.

[Greg Miller]

Looking tall as you says, actually. Cool. They're using the Bible as a puzzle.

[Barrett]

It is my son.

[Greg Miller]

Wow, he's tall.

[Barrett]

Whom I love.

[Nick Scarpino]

God got those like got that height surgery.

[Greg Miller]

Well, they're admitting they're like he's an alien.

[Nick Scarpino]

He is an alien.

[Greg Miller]

He's not your temper.

[Nick Scarpino]

He looks like two kids shoulders image. Jesus Christ. He's tall. Roughly.

[Greg Miller]

Thank you very much.

[Nick Scarpino]

Thanks God.

[Greg Miller]

That was our voice of God, Barrett,

[Nick Scarpino]

telling us for a little 30 minutes

[Greg Miller]

before we go further and prepare for the journey. Talk to God, John. We'll take a word to talk about our sponsors. Remember, we couldn't do fun stuff like this and buy costumes like this if you didn't have a kind of funny membership. The wine was free, don't worry. Go over to YouTube.com kinda funnygames patreon.com kinda funny apple and Spotify where you can support Kinda funny. Get all of our shows ad free. Get your daily dose of me, Greg Mueller in a series we call Greg Way. And get good karma for supporting an 11 person 11 year old small business. But right now you're not using your sponsorship free content stuff in the membership. So peace be with you. Here's a word from our sponsors. You finally sit down to game. Just you, your controller and zero responsibilities. When your brain decides that's the perfect time to say what if I'm secretly a terrible person and everyone can see it but me and suddenly relaxing and enjoying yourself is impossible. Instead your brain grabs onto that thought and will not let it go. Here's the thing. That kind of relentless thought spiral isn't just anxiety. It could also be ocd, a condition that's way too misunderstood and way more common than most People realize. But it doesn't have to be that way. OCD needs ERP or exposure and response prevention, which has proven to be the most effective treatment. And that's where NOCD comes in. NOCD is the world's leading provider of OCD treatment and it's covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. All of their licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy and will help you learn to take the power away from the intrusive thoughts in live face to face virtual sessions. If unwanted thoughts are taking over, don't wait to get help. Visit nocd.com and book a free call with their team. That's N o C D dot com. What a song. You know what I mean?

[Nick Scarpino]

Greatest one of the greatest of all time songs.

[Greg Miller]

100 right behind it.

[Nick Scarpino]

I'm a promise from heaven Like a

[Greg Miller]

dog I am a promise I am a possibility I am a promise with a capital P I am a great big bundle of potentiality. Here we go. And I am learning to hear God's voice and I'm trying what to make the right choice. Cuz I'm a promise to be anything God wants me to be.

[Nick Scarpino]

Especially a bird. Chan.

[Greg Miller]

And that's what a fucking cult does to children. Sing about this.

[Nick Scarpino]

Touch yourself, don't touch yourself.

[Greg Miller]

Don't touch yourself, don't. How's your looks for Aaron? Not for me alone, but for this chat. Do you see the mouse on his head? Should I get up and move the mouse?

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh yeah, I can do it.

[Greg Miller]

It's all the way over there.

[Nick Scarpino]

That's too far.

[Greg Miller]

Why isn't John talking no more? Oh, because I started clicking in.

[Nick Scarpino]

Rabbi, forgive me for interrupting. Do you want to do it?

[Greg Miller]

I'm closer. Where did you stay during the time of the baptism? Oh my goodness. I am Jesus Christ. Everybody available right now. No better way to celebrate Easter so far.

[Nick Scarpino]

Jury's still out.

[Greg Miller]

It's interesting. Like on the thing, right? Perform 30 plus miracles. I want to get to that.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, we got to get a miracle.

[Greg Miller]

But I understand I'm starting small here. I'll just. Yeah, we understand. Yeah, we get it.

[Nick Scarpino]

We don't need to go there. We die.

[Greg Miller]

Leave the disciples to arresting.

[Nick Scarpino]

I need. I need to get to the point where I. I see some water and that better go red. You better be walking on water soon. Doggy dog.

[Greg Miller]

If he's in the Red Sea.

[Nick Scarpino]

When Moses no water into wine.

[Greg Miller]

I'm so sorry.

[Nick Scarpino]

I need water to become wine. I need. I need you to. You know.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

Didn't he do the thing where you go and then all the fish showed up. You're like oh my God. He fed a whole he fed all of Rob. You know Robb Stark,

[Greg Miller]

the Red Wedding.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yep.

[Greg Miller]

I'm with you. I I see. I I made the connection. I understand where you're going. Yeah. It was a wedding that needed the

[Nick Scarpino]

Been thinking a lot about Game of Thrones because of Millie Alcock.

[Greg Miller]

Oh yeah, of course.

[Nick Scarpino]

Supergirl from Hot D Have we arrived.

[Greg Miller]

Humble but it will be enough to prepare for the journey. I feel like the camera needs to come down a bit.

[Nick Scarpino]

No we like that much headroom.

[Greg Miller]

We're centering everybody. Yeah there's a lot of headroom.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah it's fine. It does give me anxiety. Like I do want to come over comms and be like a little little less headroom Headroom.

[Barrett]

John the Baptist baptized in the waters

[Nick Scarpino]

of the price 412 says what's the miracle count for at 30 you get to ascend to the cosmos.

[Barrett]

Pretty much could have foreseen what that night would come to mean Sharing the

[Nick Scarpino]

everything about how hard we could go if we need to become saints would

[Barrett]

be known as their redeemer.

[Greg Miller]

There's that video game saying yet before all else Jesus.

[Nick Scarpino]

I meant real life steps tour some

[Greg Miller]

guy died and became a saint because the video games or some aren't they're not trying did you manage to find John?

[Nick Scarpino]

Would you like to return to Nazareth with me? I'm leaving this evening. I got even shorter. It's even more headroom on this guy. Game devs bring down the headroom it

[Greg Miller]

does have I yeah. I have no control over it. We.

[Nick Scarpino]

It does have the effect that it makes Jesus look like he's as tall as you.

[Greg Miller]

Sure.

[Nick Scarpino]

Cuz I imagine this is what you looks like when you talk to me.

[Greg Miller]

Well I mean I got angle my head down a lot more top of the head if I was talking to

[Nick Scarpino]

him like okay not that much top of the head cries out in the scene behind me for Christ sake.

[Greg Miller]

Those who learn to wait learn to listen.

[Nick Scarpino]

He pointed to you he said he was not worthy to untie the strap of your sandals. And we. We do not even know how we should stand before you.

[Greg Miller]

We are still disciples of John. Every disciple begins with one.

[Nick Scarpino]

But we would like to we dare not ask but if.

[Greg Miller]

If one day you allow it Getting pretty serious.

[Nick Scarpino]

I seek there is when they talk like that and like in like the in like it does make me think that they're trying to but Rabbi, are you leaving us what should especially since they're a little meek, but how will we.

[Greg Miller]

I mean, the meeker and the hair on the earth, you know that.

[Nick Scarpino]

And they're like, I don't want to be too forward, but what if we went out for some fun, dude?

[Greg Miller]

Sure.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, there we go.

[Greg Miller]

Get on the road to Galley. Don't mind if I do. Bye, guys. Enjoy hanging out with John the Baptist. I'll see you later. What am I doing with my hands?

[Nick Scarpino]

I dreamed I met a Galilean.

[Greg Miller]

Okay, so my trigger can bring up my hands to my face.

[Nick Scarpino]

Gotta throw hands, dog. Oh, throw some elbows, throw some knees. Jesus knew. Brita.

[Greg Miller]

Holy Spirit.

[Nick Scarpino]

You were following the Holy Spirit. It looks like a spur your dog gets.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, we're going to the wilderness. Are we in the fucking Satan

[Barrett]

and reflection. Venture into the wilderness, for it is there that the spirit will strengthen you to fulfill your divine purpose. You must first embrace the solitude of the wilderness. Follow me into the desolate places where your faith.

[Nick Scarpino]

Hard to believe there's a wilderness here somewhere.

[Greg Miller]

Well, you got two nice trees over there.

[Nick Scarpino]

What do you think of that as well? I think wilderness like a forest.

[Greg Miller]

Well, I mean, you know, they didn't have as many words for wilderness back then.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, sure. They only had five words. Nameless, a lot of trees.

[Greg Miller]

Wilderness.

[Barrett]

Will be tested and strengthened for the path ahead.

[Greg Miller]

Damn. Holy Spirit, slow down.

[Nick Scarpino]

Holy Spirit, I can't see you anymore. Always with us. But even when we can't see him. Because we can't see him.

[Greg Miller]

Getting hot out here. Look at them.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah.

[Greg Miller]

Heat effects in the sand.

[Nick Scarpino]

I thought that was gonna be Jesus. I thought Jesus was gonna get stuck in the old 80s trap of quicksand.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, yeah. I mean, never too late.

[Nick Scarpino]

He just needs some water. He's up on the hill. Is there a burning? It was a camel or something. Be awesome. Just fucking ripping a camel across the dune.

[Greg Miller]

Chaotic Wrath says so. Catholic religion was just a guy with heat stroke seeing stuff. Pretty much.

[Nick Scarpino]

One could argue

[Greg Miller]

all size. Engaging gameplay right here.

[Barrett]

Come back and draw you close closer to the will of the Father. You will find the strength needed to fulfill your divine.

[Greg Miller]

Kind of sounds like Travis.

[Nick Scarpino]

Hey, but a little like Travis.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah, I mean, he's gotta be pissed he missed out on this one.

[Nick Scarpino]

There's also a little bit where they're dipping into the sort of like the Shakespearean. Yeah, yeah, you're divine. You know, they start getting. They start affecting the British accent.

[Greg Miller]

Star wars time.

[Nick Scarpino]

Lord of the Rings, though.

[Greg Miller]

There's no Clerks.

[Nick Scarpino]

Well, yeah, we do have that.

[Greg Miller]

Better not move again. Holy Spirit.

[Nick Scarpino]

Look at that water. Looks nice. Unreal. There we go. We're back in the book, the good book.

[Barrett]

Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the spirit.

[Nick Scarpino]

Nine feet tall, even walks like he had the.

[Greg Miller]

You're not gonna let me talk to the devil. We talked to the devil.

[Barrett]

He ate nothing during those days. And at the end of them, he was hungry.

[Nick Scarpino]

That's how it works. I haven't had lunch yet. I'm hungry.

[Greg Miller]

Here we are at Samaria. Where's the devil? That sucks. I better interact with the devil right now. We're going to have some problems.

[Nick Scarpino]

I think you're going to. I mean, look, they're setting the stage. There's a sandstorm. It's foggy, it's scary. You haven't had a drink of water in 18 days. You're still whipping it like, oh, man.

[Greg Miller]

Jesus can run like nobody's business. Oh, yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, no, you can't. Manel though. Jesus can't jump white. Jesus is a white dude.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah, Jesus is k.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, I mean, so far so good. You know, not that challenging a gameplay. Except for that one puzzle that really threw us.

[Greg Miller]

Like we said, this is very much like if you.

[Barrett]

Boy.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, you thought you weren't gonna talk to Satan.

[Greg Miller]

Let me talk to Satan.

[Nick Scarpino]

Everybody but the serpent is among us. Damn.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, Satan, the guy like that.

[Barrett]

Why do you suffer so much?

[Nick Scarpino]

He gets good headroom.

[Greg Miller]

It doesn't fills the frame.

[Nick Scarpino]

You gotta. You gotta respect Satan. If you are the son of God, tell these stones to become bread ours yet. I haven't done my 30 miracles.

[Greg Miller]

Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes.

[Barrett]

But they do need bread, though. It's.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah, actually eating spread carbohydrates are pretty

[Nick Scarpino]

go for brain development. Man energy.

[Greg Miller]

Aren't we all?

[Barrett]

Eat.

[Greg Miller]

I will not put my father to the test. He guides me and will give me strength to endure.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, it's a game quick time event.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah. Here we go. Y' all.

[Nick Scarpino]

Don't forget which controller you're on.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, hit it early.

[Nick Scarpino]

I think you got to let it pass.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, speed it up. Okay.

[Nick Scarpino]

What? What?

[Greg Miller]

How do you press these buttons to speed up, guide the thing along the path to keep.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, tap maybe a bunch of times.

[Greg Miller]

I'm in charge. I'm in charge.

[Nick Scarpino]

You're in charge. Okay, give me another Y. I really

[Greg Miller]

don't understand what they have me doing, but I'm doing it.

[Nick Scarpino]

You gotta point to the right. Point to the right.

[Greg Miller]

I mean, you see me, I'm doing this.

[Nick Scarpino]

It's a twin stick shooter.

[Greg Miller]

I'm pointing as much as I can point.

[Nick Scarpino]

It's a fucking twin stick shooter.

[Greg Miller]

As much as I can actually point.

[Nick Scarpino]

You're pointing the right. There we go. Why would you just whip that shit?

[Greg Miller]

I don't know what just happened there.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, I think Barrett's helping us out. I think God's helping us out. What's with the mouse?

[Greg Miller]

I don't. I mean, I don't. I don't know. Why is the mouse playing on controller

[Nick Scarpino]

with the mouse going anywhere?

[Greg Miller]

All right, so press this on the thing, speed up, guide the light along the path to keep pace. Point the way with your cursor.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, you gotta.

[Greg Miller]

So hold on. So I gotta. Okay, hold on.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, I see what you're doing. Here we go. Yeah, you're making it happen now.

[Greg Miller]

Make it happen this time. Come on, speed it up. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

[Nick Scarpino]

And I love you. You're doing it. You're nailing it.

[Greg Miller]

Not this time. Is it gonna be it?

[Nick Scarpino]

No, you're fine. It's not catching up to you, buddy.

[Greg Miller]

Come on.

[Nick Scarpino]

You got it. You're having a great time. Oh, you're crushing it now. You want me to get on the mouse? That make it easier?

[Greg Miller]

I just need the power of God right now.

[Nick Scarpino]

Power of Christ compels me. Oh, this thing's. You know, you're getting three quarters of the way they are. I like the little spin. I like the juke move.

[Greg Miller]

I already get. I'm gonna use the mouse.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, go get the mouse. Yeah. That's just you and me now. Queue up your Bible questions. I'll answer them for you one on one.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, now I'm gonna use Wasta, though.

[Nick Scarpino]

All right, he's got it. Still seems like it's moving too fast. I'm being real. Maybe you're doing too many small increments, buddy.

[Greg Miller]

Is that what it is?

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah. I think you need to go, like, bigger swats, like, let it ride. Just point the mouse. There you go. Yes. This is it right here. Yeah, don't tap it. There we go. Maybe lead it a little bit more. Lead it a little bit more because it's following you, remember?

[Greg Miller]

Yo, this shit sucks.

[Nick Scarpino]

Give it. Put the mouse cursor a little farther ahead. I'm thinking just right on its nose. I want you, like. I want you, like, right there. Yeah. See how it's speeding up to meet you? No, go around the corner.

[Greg Miller]

Cause it's. If I go into the corner, I gotta stay in front of us.

[Nick Scarpino]

You gotta build momentum around the curves. You do Your braking before the curves. Forza. Up, up, up, up, up.

[Greg Miller]

Go.

[Nick Scarpino]

You're just losing it in that final curve there, buddy. You got it now. Up, up straight. Get some speed.

[Greg Miller]

Get some speed, daddy. Get some Speed, Daddy. Get 40. Faster, Jesus.

[Nick Scarpino]

Go up. There you go. There you go. Farther you get away from it. Faster you go. There you go. Love where your head's at. Whip it, whip it, whip it. Jesus wants you to whip it. Take the regulator off. Jesus loves you. There we go. Whip it, whip it, whip it, whip it good. It's that second bend. You're losing them. Oh, I love where your head's at. Yes. W. W. I'm hitting it.

[Greg Miller]

I don't. I do not understand how that works.

[Nick Scarpino]

There we go. Yes. This is working, daddy.

[Greg Miller]

You Satan. You Lord of darkness. Fuck you, Satan.

[Nick Scarpino]

Fuck you with your big dick, Satan. You know Satan's got a hog, right?

[Greg Miller]

Oh, my God, this dick's huge.

[Nick Scarpino]

Like a fucking porno. Like Jesus. It's 10. It's 10 if it's a.

[Greg Miller]

We did it, everybody. They got there. Thank you for the. Fuck you Satans in chat. Yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

Thank you, guys. You can't let the dark Lord in. You'll never be the same again.

[Greg Miller]

Why does that, by the way? Huh? Why does this. I think I may be crouching.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, yeah, you're crouching a little bit. Well, you're 19ft tall, so the crouch is gonna be a little smaller than everyone else's. Someone sat in a room, they're like. How tall you think Jesus was? Well, historically, back then, he would have been about five' five, five' four. Let's make him seven foot eight. Let's make him fucking Wilt Chamberlain's height.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, man.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, the serpent's behind you, Slytherin. Nagini.

[Greg Miller]

Damn.

[Nick Scarpino]

Right there, Nagin.

[Barrett]

We meet again, Jesus.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh. Oh. I thought we were gonna be like modern day Scottsdale. Scottsdale, Arizona. If you are the son of God. He looks like Voldemort. That's crazy.

[Greg Miller]

They did a good job making a

[Nick Scarpino]

creepy S. For it is written, he will command creepy.

[Greg Miller]

It is also written, do not put but the Lord your God.

[Barrett]

Are you afraid?

[Nick Scarpino]

You can't question God. Blind faith. You got to blindly follow him.

[Greg Miller]

I will not test. I will not test my God, for my faith is unwavering. My trust in him, not in your temptations.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, you're back, baby. You better get your ass over there. Oh, Craig, you don't got. You got to get back in the thing.

[Greg Miller]

I'm going to try.

[Nick Scarpino]

I got. Oh, you know should we do this together?

[Greg Miller]

What do you mean?

[Nick Scarpino]

You go do it. You want me to go. Do you want me be on mouse?

[Greg Miller]

Yeah, you can try it. See how you like it. Oh. Oh. Game changer.

[Nick Scarpino]

What'd you figure out?

[Greg Miller]

I hit y as I hit it. Look at that. Oh, we got it now. Now we know what's up. That was not. See, I hit it too early. I see the problem. We got it, everybody. Everybody tell Jesus we got it. Fast as boy. There we go. Sorry, Satan. Eat it.

[Nick Scarpino]

Eat a fat one, Satan. How many more snake trials do you think we're gonna go through?

[Greg Miller]

One more, probably.

[Nick Scarpino]

Jesus, look at that snake, dude. That's like the. The Anaconda from Conan the Barbarian. Remember when he kills it and then James Earl Jones gets all pissed at it? Goes like, that was my pit snake.

[Greg Miller]

I don't remember that movie. I don't remember Conan. Well, that's another one that, like. We liked the sci fi stuff, Terminator. So we watched it, but I don't remember ever.

[Nick Scarpino]

Like. Yeah, it was connecting. You go back and look at it. It is awesome. Yeah, but it's bonkers.

[Greg Miller]

Maybe Jesus is gonna be the one to blow in the horn. Everybody.

[Barrett]

So we meet again, Jesus.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, he's got some. He's got a couple boys laying around.

[Barrett]

Look. All these kingdoms of the world and their splendor.

[Greg Miller]

Fiery Phoenix, super chat says the power of Christ compels you. Bless me. Father Greg and Sister Nick bless you. Fiery Phoenix.

[Nick Scarpino]

Get after it. Go. Be someone.

[Greg Miller]

Away from me, Satan. For it is written, worship the love your God and serve him only.

[Barrett]

All these kingdoms can be yours without

[Nick Scarpino]

suffering, without the cross.

[Barrett]

You reject the power and wealth of

[Nick Scarpino]

this world, but we shall return. I think we could hire this team to make Dapper Die. Bring spirituality to it. Yeah.

[Barrett]

Yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

Here's my pitch for Dapper Die. Pitch you on this.

[Greg Miller]

Oh. L2. Oh, Jesus. Okay, sorry. I tag him and I drag him to the portal.

[Nick Scarpino]

Tag him and drag him, baby. Right back to the torture chair. Come here for your torture. Jesus is nuts. Get him in there. It's our soul.

[Greg Miller]

Come on, y'. All.

[Nick Scarpino]

Tag him. Tag. Break fast. I think we got him. Yeah. Watch out. You got the belly of the serpent right there. Push him. Push him into the thing.

[Greg Miller]

Got him.

[Nick Scarpino]

We saved his ass.

[Greg Miller]

I killed him all over there. I gotta give him.

[Nick Scarpino]

Gotta push him. Do you physically need to push him or are you using the Force to push him?

[Greg Miller]

I need to physically move.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, because you have to actually shoot the Force. You have to make contact with him. You can't use Jesus. Why?

[Greg Miller]

It's just Jesus. Jesus walks faster than you push the.

[Nick Scarpino]

The guy Jesus. Does Jesus have a walk or is it just constantly like a low spot?

[Barrett]

Sprint will not stop me. I will go everywhere in this land.

[Nick Scarpino]

It's always right behind you.

[Greg Miller]

Tapping on the shoulder, helping you kick your fancy.

[Nick Scarpino]

You should go home. But instead, what if you went got some mozzarella sticks. If you vaped and ate some mozzarella sticks.

[Barrett]

Sound like more fun to every human. Every soul. I will enter their bodies.

[Greg Miller]

Satan has the diseases.

[Nick Scarpino]

Satan's got the diseases. You think the disease is a metaphor? Like he's going to corrupt their minds for like sin? Or do you think it's like leukemia?

[Greg Miller]

I think it's like leukemia.

[Nick Scarpino]

Okay.

[Barrett]

And then I will go to Jerusalem, to their capital and will give them upper deckers with my darkness and sins in such a way they will stop Jesus and kill him.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh man. With you, dude. Satan's kind of metal.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah.

[Barrett]

He can't stop me. The temptation. And remained steadfast in your faith. Emerging victorious.

[Greg Miller]

Exorcisms unlocked. Oh, this is how we get the followers. Got it.

[Nick Scarpino]

Was sick. Cleared this town cuz everything's green now. So you got to go over to the next round. Got some red houses over there.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

I assume that just means you haven't looked in them. But there's got to be a couple

[Greg Miller]

people that need you unlock the miracle of exorcism. After resisting Satan's temptation. It to help the possessed and gain followers. Help possess people marked on the map. You got it, guys. RB for exorcism

[Nick Scarpino]

how hard do you think? We'd have to try to get Tim to agree to let us exercise him.

[Greg Miller]

I would really like that.

[Nick Scarpino]

Cuz we probably could wear him down pretty easy.

[Greg Miller]

You think so, right?

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah. You can't jump.

[Greg Miller]

I don't meet my family. Not a chance. We're here to exercise people.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, like the exercise demon. Hugs. Itchy. Ever get that?

[Greg Miller]

So we're going north? I mean.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, I guess when you get like the allergies, the back of your throat.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

Kind of gets scratchy, but you can't. You can't itch it.

[Greg Miller]

Scratch it?

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, you know, I mean horse.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah, Like a horse.

[Nick Scarpino]

I like a horse. To a horse. That bad Asmar for you.

[Greg Miller]

Sucks to your asthma.

[Nick Scarpino]

Do you really think I should play Starfield again? I'd like to give it another shot.

[Greg Miller]

You like those kind of games?

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, I do like those kind of games. I've gone back to cyberpunk quite often.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah, I know you have.

[Nick Scarpino]

I respect that. You're just like, I'm going to run over the rocks. You know, Jesus needs a little.

[Greg Miller]

They really didn't give it like much fighting.

[Nick Scarpino]

A little bit.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, we already. Yeah, I did. That's how I know that that's the exorcism.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah. I want to see you exercise a demon. You got the first miracle, so congratulations. Only 30 more to go. 29 more to go.

[Greg Miller]

That guy is a demon.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, he's definitely. He's either demon or he's, you know, he's got scoliosis, but whatever. Back then they probably thought it was the same thing. Obviously. The only one you can pick is that one. Let's see what they worry. Yeah.

[Barrett]

Remember, Greg will bring salvation.

[Nick Scarpino]

Father Miller.

[Greg Miller]

It's got to know where the portal is.

[Nick Scarpino]

Where is it? Is it behind you? Dude, what are you doing? Are you doing a light?

[Greg Miller]

Yeah, I'm doing the light. I'm stunning.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, my God.

[Greg Miller]

There we go.

[Nick Scarpino]

You got him then I hold this. Can you get more than one or you. Oh, it's right behind you. Okay, you got the photo right there.

[Greg Miller]

There you go.

[Nick Scarpino]

You got him. He's coming. Get my P out of the

[Greg Miller]

boom.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, is he through?

[Greg Miller]

He's going. There's an animal.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, it sucks him through. Got it. It's like a. It's like a self closing cabinet. Yeah, but we think it's not going to close. And then it slowly closes.

[Greg Miller]

Base is required to use ability is like the defined vision. Remember not to let it be awesome. Hold right. Trigger to pray Prank. Where's my. Oh, there it is.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, my God. The prang. Looks like the teleporter. Teleportation From Star Trek? That's so sick. Again. Where was this game when I was growing up? I'd be a devout Catholic now.

[Greg Miller]

Get in the trap.

[Nick Scarpino]

Y' all get in there.

[Greg Miller]

Can they hurt me? They don't seem to be hurting me.

[Nick Scarpino]

I don't think so.

[Greg Miller]

I mean, they killed them, but.

[Nick Scarpino]

Well, they came back.

[Greg Miller]

Last laugh.

[Nick Scarpino]

He had it still around. Actually, around somewhere. Nailed it.

[Greg Miller]

Crushed it. Very light yellow. You can tell we did it.

[Nick Scarpino]

Cool. Not green. A very light yellow. Joey, I need you to come fill us thy cup. Yeah, get a little more of the good stuff. What are you doing over there, Joey?

[Greg Miller]

It's Easter.

[Nick Scarpino]

Be our friend. The buddy's coming out. You can find me in Jerusalem, Bethlehem Net Nazareth or by the banks of the Jordan River. If you truly are as wise, talk to me. Are you up for an intellectual Challenge. Perhaps one posed by a. Oh, there we go.

[Greg Miller]

No, Joe, we got church questions. Who tricked his father Isaac, into giving him the blessing meant for his brother?

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, probably Jacob.

[Greg Miller]

I want to say it was isu. Right. Maybe we won't. You. We're not. We won't use cheats. I think it's Esau, because. Well, that's.

[Nick Scarpino]

That's.

[Greg Miller]

We need that, though.

[Nick Scarpino]

Got it.

[Greg Miller]

Kanan Abel, who I'm always thinking of anything.

[Nick Scarpino]

For. Right. Well done.

[Greg Miller]

Nail the Joe.

[Nick Scarpino]

Fancy. Trying to crack a mental exercise. Inspired. Which city was destroyed after its walls fell? Sound of the Israelites trumpet. Oh, Jericho, break the walls.

[Greg Miller]

Break down the walls. That's Chris Jericho's entrance. But yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

Never knew what that was about. Teasing your brain with a challenge that might have tested. How many plagues did God send upon Egypt before Pharaoh let the Israelites here.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

What are my choices? I want to say.

[Greg Miller]

Cuz. Oh, this is my.

[Nick Scarpino]

I want to say five.

[Greg Miller]

You think it was five?

[Nick Scarpino]

You think it was 12?

[Greg Miller]

So it's the locust. Yeah, it's the blood in the.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Greg Miller]

The firstborn. It was 12, right? The 12 plagues.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, people are saying 12 in the chat, so. Wow. They're also saying 10. And then how much was it did God send upon.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, he's good to go again.

[Nick Scarpino]

Before Pharaoh left the Israelites go.

[Greg Miller]

I mean, now we can just go five like Joey wanted originally.

[Nick Scarpino]

Almost. Oh, it's ten. Okay.

[Greg Miller]

Exact.

[Nick Scarpino]

You've answered with. I think. They don't let Jesus lose again.

[Greg Miller]

They want you to learn wisdom is yours. Oh, my God. Followers. Yeah, right.

[Nick Scarpino]

Joey, we're. We're in for this. We're actually. We didn't want to tell you, but all three of us are staying here all night. We're going to marathon this until we get. Until we find absolution. You know what, Joe? You have two choices right now. You can stay in the room, drink wine with us, you don't have to talk, and you have to stay here until we beat this game. Or you can confess all your sins to Father Miller here while I listen. Okay.

[Greg Miller]

Okay.

[Nick Scarpino]

The strong call. I broke my belt.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, no.

[Nick Scarpino]

Well, it just came undone like Fruit Roll ups or Fruit leather. Oh, I'm definitely naughty man.

[Barrett]

Same day as always.

[Nick Scarpino]

Roman soldiers. Get out of here. They don't watch you in our town. Get a shield.

[Greg Miller]

No, I think this is learning about stuff. During the time of Jesus, Judea was under Roman occupation.

[Nick Scarpino]

It starts working on gets all caked up.

[Greg Miller]

Calling ass

[Nick Scarpino]

Spuma K brings up a really good point. And I do apologize to this. We didn't really think about this. You know, guys, 11 person, small company. We're moving really fast. He says it's kind of funny profiting off of Jesus content. I think that's wrong. And we forgot to tell everyone that every single subscription donated today, either on Twitch or if you want to do a YouTube membership, it's gonna go straight into me and Greg's pocket.

[Greg Miller]

I'm turning on the crazy asf. Yeah, of course.

[Nick Scarpino]

You bet your goddamn ass is going

[Greg Miller]

to pass the collection of platinum plate around right now.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, because you're fun. You know what I'm gonna buy? I'm gonna buy more veggie sticks that I'm gonna shove into my gullet.

[Greg Miller]

And now I just turned on dlss.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, my God. This guy singing let's Let it cook. Wow. Just darker. Makes the guy's voice just a little bit more Anglo. You must have experienced so much. Are you tired? Do you need to rest? In that case, you should join your mother who left for Cana. There's a wedding there. Thank you. Oh, we're doing the water and the wine. Thank you for those five gifted tier one subs. A little freak. Just know that they are going to go toward a good cause.

[Greg Miller]

Thank you for passing the collection plate around, everybody.

[Nick Scarpino]

Greg not buying. Father Greg, Father Miller. Father Greg not buying shitty beef sticks from Costco.

[Greg Miller]

I'll buy the good beef sticks.

[Nick Scarpino]

By the way, I think you threw a couple of them out. I would have eaten them.

[Greg Miller]

No, they've been sitting there forever. Nobody eats them.

[Nick Scarpino]

They're beef sticks.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah, but there's too plasticky.

[Nick Scarpino]

They already run. Kind of like they had to fight them a little bit to get them down your mouth.

[Greg Miller]

My time is not Yukon, but it has Ali 2000.

[Nick Scarpino]

Thank you. After everything you've been through, this is the perfect. Remember, folks, we could have used that and donated it to a good cause.

[Greg Miller]

A cause? This is a good cause, but this is a better.

[Nick Scarpino]

We got to get Joey wine drunk so she confesses her sins to us. I'm sorry, but we're out of wine. The early guests enjoyed it too much. And take care of it.

[Greg Miller]

Fill the jugs with water.

[Nick Scarpino]

Water.

[Greg Miller]

Oh. Go to the place of meditation.

[Barrett]

On the third day, a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus's mother was there. And Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus's mother said to him, they have no more wine.

[Nick Scarpino]

What do we got to do? They can't get wine drunk.

[Barrett]

Why do you involve me? Jesus.

[Nick Scarpino]

Desert hour has not yet come.

[Barrett]

His mother said to the well, we're

[Greg Miller]

going to turn some water into wine. Then we can end this.

[Nick Scarpino]

Thank you, bear.

[Greg Miller]

Everybody celebrates Easter.

[Nick Scarpino]

Fiery Phoenix gave us a ten dollar super chat and said, father Greg, Sister nick, why did St. Paul write all those letters to the Corinthians? Was he the first commenter who was the origin of actually riddle seeing completion?

[Greg Miller]

Place interactive objects in the appropriate. I just skipped the thing because I wanted to make the wine. Suddenly I'm in heaven. I feel like I skipped something. I should.

[Nick Scarpino]

All puzzles are in heaven.

[Greg Miller]

Press X to grab the objects to increase the throw power.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, dude, I'm not.

[Greg Miller]

We crushed it before. We crushed it.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, that's a scythe.

[Greg Miller]

Well, first off, at a glance, that's Adam and Eve.

[Nick Scarpino]

I need it right? You got the. Gotta have the apple. Yep. Perfect, dude. Delicious. Gotta. You gotta whip it a little harder, bro.

[Greg Miller]

I mean, it's just.

[Nick Scarpino]

There you go. It came back. It came back. Put it in her mouth. Yeah, It should be in her hand, right? Well, it pops back up. Give it one more shot. Are you holding? Left trigger. Where's the meter? Oh, you almost did it.

[Barrett]

One more.

[Nick Scarpino]

Give it another shot.

[Greg Miller]

What's interesting, cuz? That was a pomegranate.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, that is a pomegranate. Yeah. That's not an apple. Put that back. You can't do that.

[Greg Miller]

Why would you.

[Nick Scarpino]

You know, what's the next one do? What's the next one look like? Oh, you can't move on. You're gonna fall.

[Greg Miller]

Ah, I fucked us.

[Nick Scarpino]

I'm sorry.

[Greg Miller]

God is just like looking at his son and being like, holy shit, my

[Nick Scarpino]

son is an idiot. My son's a clod.

[Greg Miller]

I mean, it's definitely the apple.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, you gotta throw it. Yeah, it's the apple.

[Greg Miller]

So why isn't she catching it?

[Nick Scarpino]

You gotta think. You gotta get it into her hand. Yeah, buddy. The bridge moves on this one.

[Greg Miller]

Is this was Kill youl Son with.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, with a dagger. There you go. Yeah. Not Canaan. Abel. There you go. Yeah.

[Greg Miller]

It doesn't matter.

[Nick Scarpino]

What's his name? Fucking Dudley Moore.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, man.

[Nick Scarpino]

Tough one. What do we got here? The book, maybe. Oh, the Ten Commandments, maybe. Yeah.

[Greg Miller]

No, well, that's the. Yeah, that's the Red Sea. So.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, that could be technique maybe.

[Greg Miller]

Oh, fuck me.

[Nick Scarpino]

Fuck that. Throw that shit up. No, he should be on a mountain if it's Ten Commandments, right?

[Greg Miller]

Oh, he came down from the mountain, remember?

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, but then he presented it to everyone. Not in A hut. Not that.

[Greg Miller]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Nick Scarpino]

I don't know what the pomegranate lore is.

[Greg Miller]

Dying on.

[Nick Scarpino]

His.

[Greg Miller]

People are saying the staff Jabronis.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, sure.

[Greg Miller]

Doesn't he use the staff to separate the red seas? Pick it up. Look at those commandments fly.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, it's not the staff. What about that?

[Greg Miller]

It turns the snap into a snake. Sure. Yeah, I know, but like. But this thing.

[Nick Scarpino]

I don't.

[Greg Miller]

It's a scroll.

[Nick Scarpino]

That's not how you hold a scroll. Oh, your staff, kids. It's a rolling pin. This is David and Goliath. Oh, is it right there? Yeah, probably, I imagine.

[Greg Miller]

I always thought David didn't look so much like a kid. I think you're right. It's two arms, two hands.

[Nick Scarpino]

In his golden hand. Yeah, yeah, that buddy. Okay, this is the staff.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah, this is the mar. Staff. Jabroni's that, you idiot. You know what I mean? Father Miller will tell you off. He'll tell you.

[Nick Scarpino]

Father Miller gets a little drunk on the sacrament, tells you what's really going on. There you go. You at this. You're perfect, baby. Oh, my God.

[Greg Miller]

Ding dong, ding dong.

[Nick Scarpino]

Oh, they gave you some red herrings. They gave you a bunch of in there that didn't like that. Like, what are we going to do with sword?

[Greg Miller]

This would be the way on. On a. On a Catholic school you'd want to hang out with.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah,

[Greg Miller]

When the mouse just comes in doing other stuff. The mouse comes.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah, it's kind of annoying. Oh, bongos pull targets first.

[Greg Miller]

Okay, that's not bad.

[Nick Scarpino]

Put a little ruby in there. It's considering red.

[Greg Miller]

Red, red wine.

[Nick Scarpino]

You make me feel so fun. You keep me rocking all of the time.

[Greg Miller]

What are Joey

[Nick Scarpino]

wrong? I want to hear what she gets on the weekends if he's going to vape with me later. It's part of the terms of her employment here. We did it. We did it.

[Greg Miller]

Let's talk the second miracle.

[Nick Scarpino]

How many miracles you done today? What do you intend to do with that? Boom. McKay.

[Greg Miller]

What do you intend to do with that?

[Nick Scarpino]

Up on it, bro. Cooper Fuqua.

[Greg Miller]

Watch. This guy's head's going to explode.

[Nick Scarpino]

Gets a parasite. This is like prison wine. You make it in the toilet. This is wine.

[Greg Miller]

As I said, it's a g. This

[Nick Scarpino]

wine is better than what we had before. Thank you. Thank you.

[Greg Miller]

You have saved.

[Nick Scarpino]

He must taste this wine.

[Greg Miller]

Wait for the groom.

[Nick Scarpino]

Hello. Hi. Hello. Embarrassed though, though. I've gotten word that we have run out of wine. Jesus managed to get us wine. Let's go and try It. It's the best wine I've ever had. Well, I'll be the judge of that. Let's go try it. A lot of colors.

[Greg Miller]

This wine is amazing.

[Nick Scarpino]

Thank you, Jesus. You've made my day.

[Greg Miller]

Anything for you on your special deck.

[Nick Scarpino]

A little short, man. He's six, eight.

[Greg Miller]

Let's talk to mom.

[Nick Scarpino]

That sounds good. Yes, my son, Solve the wine problem. I'm glad you chose to do it. No, I didn't have a choice.

[Greg Miller]

I know what this really means for you. She also forced me. I said, baby bird, time to fly. No, mother. My time has come to begin my father's work. I must go and meet those who will follow me. Will you be safe? No. It's gonna be really bad.

[Nick Scarpino]

Yeah. It's gonna end poorly for me and for the remainder of humanity.

[Greg Miller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nick Scarpino]

Lot of bad things done in this name.

[Greg Miller]

Everybody. This has been the one and only I am Jesus Christ. The Jesus RPG you've been waiting for, remember? Developed by Space Boat Studios, Published by Playway out now on Steam. We've been playing it here. I won't be playing any more of it. No, I'm good. I'm good on that.

[Nick Scarpino]

You're not gonna be terrible at all.

[Greg Miller]

Again, like not. I fully and honestly respect them doing this. Like, hey, we want to make a Jesus game and we're trying. We're gonna make it fun. We're gonna do. We're gonna make a video game and not, you know, phone it in or make a cash grab or do they

[Nick Scarpino]

really develop well developed little indie game.

[Greg Miller]

And to your point, like if I was at a Sunday school or if my parents were weird and only let me play churchy games like this would be. Sure, why not?

[Nick Scarpino]

Why not?

[Greg Miller]

It's not a great game by any,

[Nick Scarpino]

not by the mainstream metric of what gaming is casual. But you this versus drawing on the pages in a church pew and being. And being bored shitless in church. Yeah, I'll take this any day of the week, everybody.

[Greg Miller]

This has been another episode of the Kinda Funny Games Cast Plays series. We hope you enjoyed hanging out with us. We were streaming, of course on Twitch and YouTube. Go over to Kinda FunnyGames on like subscribe, share, follow, Remember, if you have Amazon prime, you have a free subscription. Toss it in the collection plate right now. Of course, if you really like us, pick up a kinda funny membership patreon.com kinda funny YouTube.com kinda funnygames apple Spotify, where you can get all of our content ad free. Get your daily dose of me, Greg Miller and of course get good karma for supporting an 11 person 11 year old small business. This has been. I am Jesus Christ. I hope you all have a wonderful evening Easter because it's Good Friday tomorrow.

[Nick Scarpino]

It is Good Friday tomorrow.

[Greg Miller]

Crazy. And until next time, no it's trash Thursday. Please be with you.

[Nick Scarpino]

TikTok aurora.