Kinda Funny Gamescast: We Played Cronos: The New Dawn! - Detailed Summary

Release Date: July 28, 2025

In this episode of the Kinda Funny Gamescast, hosts Greg Miller, Blessing Adeoye Jr., and Snowbike Mike delve into two significant topics: the dynamics of their Fantasy Critic League and an in-depth preview of the upcoming survival horror game, "Cronos: The New Dawn" developed by Bloober Team.

1. Fantasy Critic League Trade Controversy

Timestamp: [00:36] - [05:30]

The episode kicks off with a heated discussion about a recent trade attempt within their Fantasy Critic League. Greg Miller introduces the issue, highlighting a proposed trade that was deemed against the current league rules.

• Greg Miller [00:36]:
  "We're going to get to that. ... And of course, he's the master of hype. Snowbike Mike."

• Snowbike Mike [01:14]:
  "You go first, Greg. I'm happy that I can share that I will be at the Battlefield 6 reveal event..."

The crux of the debate centers around Blessing Adeoye Jr.'s (Blessing) attempt to trade two video games, "Ninja Gaiden 4" for "Crimson Desert", which clashes with the league's current no-trade rule. Blessing argues that the trade is fair and legal, while Greg contends that league rules prohibit such actions unless there is unanimous consent.

• Greg Miller [03:03]:
  "I can't approve something that's not legal. ... I think we can all vote right now that trades should be enabled and you should enable the trades and let them trade."

Blessing emphasizes the fairness of the trade, stating:

• Blessing Adeoye Jr. [02:22]:
  "It is two video games. ... It is a fair trade."

Despite the contention, the discussion takes a light-hearted turn as Snowbike Mike attempts to rally support by reaching out to other league members. Ultimately, Greg insists on a unanimous vote to amend the league's trading rules, highlighting the importance of collective agreement.

• Greg Miller [05:25]:
  "But we got three more yeses. That means, Mike, you got to call Barrett."

The segment concludes without a definitive resolution, leaving listeners anticipating how the league will handle future trades.

2. "Cronos: The New Dawn" – An In-Depth Preview

Timestamp: [11:08] - [50:05]

The bulk of the episode transitions to a comprehensive preview of "Cronos: The New Dawn", a third-person survival horror game developed by Bloober Team. Hosts share their initial impressions, gameplay mechanics, story elements, and comparisons to other titles in the genre.

a. Overview and Expectations

• Greg Miller [11:08]:
  "Do you know what unanimous means? I think truthiness."

Blessing sets high expectations for Bloober Team following their success with the "Silent Hill 2" remake, expressing eagerness for an original title that can establish their prowess in horror gaming.

• Blessing Adeoye Jr. [12:36]:
  "I have super high hopes. I wanted this to be really great."

Snowbike Mike shares his baseline expectations, hoping for a game that offers both thrilling gameplay and an engaging story.

• Snowbike Mike [14:09]:
  "My expectations were pretty baseline, just medium level. ... It did not break the mold in any way."

b. Gameplay Mechanics

"Cronos: The New Dawn" emphasizes resource management and strategic combat. Players navigate through a post-apocalyptic Poland, battling nightmarish creatures that can merge and become more formidable.

• Snowbike Mike [18:13]:
  "It's shooter heavy. ... There's no dodge in this."

The game introduces a unique mechanic where enemies can merge with each other, enhancing their abilities and strength. Players must burn enemy bodies to prevent these mergers, adding a layer of strategy to combat scenarios.

• Blessing Adeoye Jr. [20:02]:
  "If an enemy merges with another enemy, they take on that enemy's class. ... They can also merge twice."

Upgrades play a crucial role, allowing players to enhance their suit, weapons, and ammunition reserves. However, the game imposes strict limitations on ammo, challenging players to make every shot count.

• Blessing Adeoye Jr. [16:52]:
  "It is very tough when it comes to the amount of ammo you are given."

c. Story and Setting

Set in the 1980s Poland during the Soviet takeover, the narrative revolves around a traveler sent to investigate mysterious cataclysmic events resulting in the emergence of blind, mutated creatures.

• Blessing Adeoye Jr. [31:46]:
  "It takes place in 1980s Poland after or during the height of the Soviet takeover of Poland."

The story is unveiled through journals and voice notes, providing insights into the characters' experiences and the unfolding apocalypse. Time-travel elements hint at deeper lore and complexities within the narrative.

• Blessing Adeoye Jr. [33:25]:
  "Journals. And they have little voice notes from certain people."

d. Difficulty and Challenges

The game strikes a balance between thrilling and frustrating elements. Limited ammunition and the necessity to manage resources can be challenging, especially during boss fights and high-intensity encounters.

• Snowbike Mike [25:14]:
  "I go to the skill tree and I'm like, oh, I could get, you know, lower my sway ability, or I can just buy a bunch of ammo."

Players must carefully navigate environments, solve puzzles, and decide when to engage or evade enemies. The rigidity of the checkpoint system and the linear progression further amplify the game's difficulty.

• Blessing Adeoye Jr. [43:09]:
  "I saw a boss. So I kill that boss. ... But then I open up the door and I'm trying to open up."

e. Comparisons and Final Thoughts

Hosts draw parallels between "Cronos: The New Dawn" and classics like Resident Evil and Silent Hill, noting both homages and unique twists introduced by Bloober Team.

• Greg Miller [36:53]:
  "I just want building up to something. Tired of the heist of the century?"

While appreciating the game's foundational mechanics and atmosphere, there remains some hesitation regarding the depth and execution of the story.

• Greg Miller [45:34]:
  "It's tried and true... But does the story land for me or not."

Overall, "Cronos: The New Dawn" promises an intense survival horror experience with its blend of strategic combat, resource management, and a haunting narrative. The hosts express cautious optimism, eager to see how the full game unfolds beyond the initial demo.

3. Concluding Remarks and Future Anticipations

Timestamp: [50:05] - [52:48]

As the episode winds down, the hosts share personal anecdotes about game shopping and the camaraderie within the Kinda Funny team. They also touch upon upcoming horror game releases to watch for, such as "Silent Hill F" and "Little Nightmares 3", positioning "Cronos: The New Dawn" within a competitive landscape of new titles.

• Snowbike Mike [47:37]:
  "We want this done now."

The episode concludes with a blend of humor and anticipation, leaving listeners eager for the release of "Cronos: The New Dawn" and the hosts' future gaming adventures.

Notable Quotes

• Blessing Adeoye Jr. [12:36]:
  "I wanted this to really be the game that sets Bloober apart in the horror genre."

• Snowbike Mike [18:13]:
  "Everything that you would expect out of a Resident Evil with this, you know, and that is going to be part of that game."

• Greg Miller [45:34]:
  "I am excited to play it because of the thrill and the challenge of the gameplay."

Conclusion

This episode of the Kinda Funny Gamescast offers a candid exploration of both competitive gaming leagues and emerging titles in the horror genre. The detailed analysis of "Cronos: The New Dawn" provides listeners with a thorough understanding of what to expect from Bloober Team's latest endeavor, balancing gameplay mechanics with narrative depth.

Whether you're a fan of strategic survival horror or intrigued by the dynamics of fantasy leagues, this episode delivers insightful commentary and engaging discussions that resonate with a broad spectrum of gaming enthusiasts.