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This episode is brought to you by Redfin. You're listening to a podcast, which means you're probably multitasking, maybe even scrolling home listings on Redfin, saving homes without expecting to get them. But Redfin isn't just built for endless browsing. It's built to help you find and own a home with agents who close twice as many deals. When you find the one, you've got a real shot at getting it. Get started@redfin.com own the dream we've teamed
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If you want to get our shows ad free and our exclusive shows, go to patreon.com kindafunny. What's up everybody and welcome back to Another Kind of Funny Games cast for Monday, February 9, 2026. My favorite day of the week. Oh, my two favorite dudes in the office. Boys, welcome back. We are back again for another fun review together. Yeah, we just did Dragon Quest. What last week? Boys.
D
I don't know man. It's been a while.
B
Review season doesn't stop.
C
It's kicked off.
B
It's always here. It's always happening. Embrace it.
C
Embrace it.
B
Will there be a review tomorrow? You're goddamn right there will be.
C
Watch the buzz to find out all the information you need to know about the 41 1.
B
You spoil the embargo.
C
No, we go full redacted on it. You know, we go full redacted. One day we'll fuck up.
D
You know, one day we'll, we'll, we'll break an embargo.
B
How mad do you guys get when you know you do the buzz? It goes live and then an hour later PlayStation's like hey, say to play.
D
Yeah, state of play guys.
B
I'm telling you, I didn even responded my slack I put out game of the year edition.
D
I know, we'll figure it out. We'll figure out something for at least
B
freeze frame where Mike goes in it's Thursday and then have Nick just go and now it's going to be a state of play.
D
But the funniest thing is that the people just love the buzz. They don't even care. They don't even care about the things we're saying. They just care about Us being there and Mike being there.
C
You know what else they love?
D
What?
C
Roger's crazy knees and party mode Beer pong edition.
B
Man, those knees were moving on that subreddit. I watched that gif lots of times.
D
Yeah.
B
And I had a comment like this looks like AI.
C
Yeah.
B
I don't even know what you're doing. I don't know what your angle of your body was.
D
It was. It was good. I honestly, I was suspecting it was gonna be like the gif of me blowing the ball into the other cup and up. But it was just me moving and look at me. I'm just fucking. I'm going.
C
He's kicking.
D
That looks like hyper extension.
B
There's like so much energy to the kick and then it's like slow mo.
D
Yeah, dude. I just move like that.
B
That's just how this is how you celebrated when you guys kept on winning.
D
We just kept on winning until we didn't I it all up.
B
We.
D
Everyone's got to watch that because that's one of the best.
C
Really good party mode. A lot of views on the party mode right now. So people are enjoying it, having some fun. Of course.
D
Ryder's a gif person.
C
Okay.
D
That is the way the creator said it. Okay. If I say gif, you might think I'm giving you a gift. No, only you think that, dumbass. We're going to have a good review.
B
Everybody say less is what I say. Let's drink. Every party mode we just drink.
C
I love you.
B
Know what I mean?
D
Every podcast say, left a lot of
C
pbrs in the fridge right now. Somebody go grab one. Of course, welcome into your kind of funny games cast for Monday. Of course, if you want to be part of the show and you're watching live on YouTube and on Twitch, don't forget, over on YouTube you can super chat on YouTube.com kind of funny games throughout today's throw to ask questions to our two review panelists to ask questions about the game that we'll be reviewing or your thoughts and opinions on the game. Don't forget, we couldn't do this without you. All of our best friends over on Patreon. Thank you to our best friends who are Patreon producers for the month. Carl Jacobs, Omega Buster and Delaney Psalm twining. Guys, let's just get right into it. Let's start with topic of the show. We are here for the Yakuza, Kiwami 3 and Dark Ties review. Back again for another awesome review with Greg and Roger, of course. The game releases February 11th from RGG Studios and Sega. This is a remake of the 2009 P. PS3 original. Roger, what the heck is Yakuza? Kiwami 3 and Dark Ties, of course,
D
as you said, it is a remake of the original Yakuza 3. They are going down the list and they are remaking them all. It's been a while since the last Kiwami. I don't know the exact date, but it's been a while since they did kiwami 2. So people have been clamoring for this one. And Dark Ties is a additive experience, a standalone experience. Experience that basically shows the backstory of what is I. They spoil it. Pretty much the main villain of Yakuza 3, which is mine. So that is the. The two dual pack situation right there, Mikey.
C
Okay, that's kind of cool. I like that. Well, you know, Roger, I know you are the Yakuza guy. Here in the office, we turn to all things Yakuza to you. But here on this desk today, there's a Yakuza freak. There's a man who reviewed Yakuza way back in the day, and. And that's Craig Miller.
B
The year was 2009.
C
Oh, wow.
B
Ladies, gentlemen, N.B. roger, how old were you in 2009? Ballpark.
D
10.
B
Fuck me.
C
10 years old.
B
How old were you in 2009?
C
I was 19.
D
Wow.
B
Okay, that sounds old. That's good. I like that. I was 10 years old.
D
14.
B
It wasn't about you, Barrett.
C
It's always about me.
B
I love you, Barrett. Yeah, Mike, so I. There it is. Yakuza 3. Just when you thought it was safe to pick random fights in Tokyo, that was me. That's my strap line from way back in 2009 when I got to play this game for IGN.com and jump in there. What? Like I can we. I don't even want to read it. Do we have the video review? Can I listen in on that, please?
D
I'm so excited.
B
Can we see a bit of this IGN video review paired on copyright claim us? This is, Jesus Christ, quite old. It's been around a long time. Bear, do you have it?
D
I lost it. I'm bringing it back.
B
Bear is finding it.
C
He's getting it for 2009. Okay, here we go.
B
Now, maybe I'm wrong, because IGN.com on the Google says May 9, 2012. When did it come out stateside? Anyways, here's this for you. Maybe that's when it got updated. I can never.
E
Yooza 3 shows us one thing, kids. Keep out long enough, you'll get your way yes. After releasing the title over in Japan and denying that it would ever come to the States, SEGA has given in to fan demands and is releasing Yakuza 3 on our shores. But before you begin celebrating, friends, let's see if this game, the lovechild of a JRPG in Grand Theft Auto, has what it takes to be a Western heavyweight.
B
Pause it right there. Pause it right there.
C
I like that.
B
I've heard way worse gaming, you says in the chat. I remember watching that review a lot of Yakuza in Japanese. Gta. Lol. Fuck y'.
C
All.
B
Fuck every one of you.
D
All right?
B
I don't think you understand that no one gave a flying fuck about these games at all in the west, let alone ign. So I'm sorry that I came in to a game that had no fucking dub. I. I'm. It's all Japanese. I'm reading everything. I pronounced everything wrong in this game because I was all alone.
E
And then.
B
Yes. I don't know if you know this. I was the caveman that discovered fucking fire. So yeah, I do keep comparing it to GTA. Cause I'm trying to get you fucking cretins in 2009 to play the motherfucking game. All right? I went to Japan. I had gone to tgs. Me and Damon go to these business buildings they have that are just bars. And we saw this businessman get carried out of a. On a stretcher. He drank too much, was amazing. But what. More importantly, when I was at TGS, what I saw was Yakuza 4. And I was like, God damn, this game's fucking amazing. And then they finally announced they're bringing Yakuza. Yeah, three over. And I was like, this is fucking incredible. And I did my best. All right, go ahead and play it. Let's see how much worse.
D
I love this graphic package, though.
B
This is. This is top notch.
D
So good. They gotta just bring it back.
E
Yakuza 3 is basically a Japanese mafia flick. You're Kazuma, a guy who was once a higher up in the family, but has since left the life of crime
B
to start a normal life.
D
However, Kiryu. Not Kazuma, but yeah, no, his name
B
in the game is Kazuma.
D
What's his last name?
B
Exactly. They all call him Kazuma in the game when I was playing it. I don't want to be held responsible again. Again. I will not accept any shit for this because this is how it was back then. This is how it fucking was then. Everybody calling him Kiryu now. I'm like, I don't Know this man. I knew Kazuma, all right? I. Fucking Kazum. They called him Kazuma. I fucking talked to him. He's Kazuma. Go ahead. I'm not at trial here.
E
Your old associates start getting knocked off and a fishy land military deal threatens your kids. Your inner badass shines through and you have to go whoop some ass. This makes for a great story. I connected with these characters, and that makes the final chapters pretty intense. One moment everything's fine, and the next, my jaw was on the floor and
B
I even teared up.
E
Yakuza 3 is a hell of a ride. That's worth the price of admission. This tale is presented in some beautiful cutscenes, but they're often interrupted by in game sequences that you need to read through and click through before returning to the CGI movie it presents.
B
Pause. Go back. Right there. Why does it say fucking Kazuma if that's not his name? Roger, one frame ahead. Kazuma. Yeah, you're right. Oh, I can't imagine why I wouldn't. I don't know if it's Kiru a Kazuma, I apologize. Thank you very much. You're an asshole. Ottercox says. Greg sounds so different. Yeah, I didn't know how to present number one. And number two, what you need to understand is how fucking wild the West IGN was back in the day.
D
Yeah, tell them about what would go
B
on when you're back in the day. You're in the booth doing this VO for this. You know what? You walked in with absolutely fucking nothing. Nick or Brennan or Craig sat in there for an hour and a half while you ranted, raved, and rambled in the booth. And they'd occasionally go, you're talking too fast. Slow it down. You mumbled that. Do it again. But we didn't. No one. No one thought to write down a script. That would be fucking insane to have a script to read off of. We went in there occasionally with notes, but everything you're hearing is me in the booth in black, just going, yeah. And I really like this because this happened. I'm just fucking talking.
C
Okay, Talking.
B
Thank you. Back to it. You didn't even go in with the written review. There was no. No, we didn't write yet. You didn't even write it. You have to. That's insane, dude. When you go back and you think people. When they were like, maybe we. Again. This is old, old, old igm, man. We should cancel podcasts. They're a waste of time. There's four or Five people in there. That's four to five man hours lost on every. No one thought how much time we're wasting in the fucking VO booth.
D
Jesus.
B
Back to it.
E
It presents an odd pacing issue with long bits of story waffling back and forth between CG and in game scenes. Also, fans who balk at Metal Gear's lengthy cutscenes might want to think twice about Yakuza, as the game isn't afraid to make you watch story sequences for long stretches of time.
B
Very true.
E
Another thing to take note of is still no English voice track in this game. So unless you're fluent in Japanese, you'll be reading your entire time in Okinawa and Tokyo's red light district. Plus, this is a game that came out a while ago in Japan, so it does look dated at times with characters popping in in somewhat bland environments. I think the characters and fights look great, but other stuff can look less than awesome.
B
All right, we have to watch the entire thing.
C
Do you remember what you gave?
B
I looked ahead here. 8.5.
C
8.5.
B
I hear my verdict for my written review, right?
C
Yeah.
B
Hopefully more thought. If I wrote about everything in this game, you'd have a 10 page review on your hands. But the long and short of it is that Yakuza 3 is a great experience. The story's cool, the fighting's fun, and there's so much to do. Did I mention beating it opens up an adventure mode, Fighting tournament and other goodies. Question mark. The game is rough around the edges. It has its issues when it comes to pacing and repetition. The Japanese only voice track will turn some people off. And it doesn't look like a game that's been. It does look like a game that's been out a while. But all of these issues are just bumps in the road on what should be an enjoyable ride for folks looking to beat in some faces and wander the streets of.
D
So is this your first Yakuza game? Correct.
B
No.
D
Okay, so this was. Okay. Gotcha.
B
Yeah. And again, that's the thing. Even now I'm so dated on because what it was. This was PlayStation 3.
D
Yeah.
B
Yakuza 2 was PlayStation 2, right? Yes.
D
And yeah, Yakuza 1.
B
And I think that was so that dated me so much of ign, let alone the fact that nobody at the company had played it or cared about it at that point. Yeah. And I'm broad brush. I'm sure somebody had. But like, yeah. Not enough to want to review them. Not enough to be like, oh, these are awesome. There's really cool shit happening here. Yeah.
C
Okay. Wow. Well, that was 2009. 2012. Yeah, let's talk about it.
B
Must have been 2009. And then they do that IG does that thing where it updates the thing and then. Yeah, hold on.
D
The video review was uploaded March 9, 2010.
B
Yeah, March 9, 2010. You're right. Okay, cool.
D
Thank you.
C
Okay, so that was a long time ago. Let's talk about 2000.
B
Not that long ago. It feels like Roger Game is currently
C
sitting at a Metacritic and open Critic score of 75 and 74. Just minutes ago.
D
Should not have drafted that one. That was a tough one. The one time with your heart, the one time I believe in my franchise does not happen.
C
Roger, you have played the game. Why don't you tell us how long you played it for what you played it on and your of course, quick thoughts and review score.
D
Yeah, I played it on the Switch 2. We can talk about the way that that runs and everything later on. I finished Yakuza Kwami 3. That version of it, that side of the game. Took me 14 hours to mainline it. I just mainlined it pretty much.
B
And cages for you?
D
Nah, not well, a little bit. Yeah. I got.
B
You got to get in there, swing the bat one.
D
You get a little high. You're like, okay, well, now I'm playing game gear. You know what I mean? I took an oath you would never do that. You would never.
B
I appreciate that.
D
Hey, want to go watch a movie sometime? And then Dark Ties only took me about five to six hours. So very, very short. Very, very short there. Right there. I'm just going to be. I didn't love my experience with either of these. I think this is probably the lowest of any of the Yakuza games that I've played.
B
It's so stop, full stop on that. Give me your background and to get here. Because you are a convert to Yakuza. Yes.
D
More Recently I played Yakuza 0 maybe three years ago, two and a half years ago now. Probably three years ago now. I played Yakuza 0. Fucking adored it. I was like, damn, this game is awesome. Then I played most of like a dragon, the turn based one with Ichiban. Then I'm pretty sure I played the guiding game, the man who Erased His Name. Didn't love that as much. That's a very small experience right there. Then of course, Infinite Wealth. And then of course Pirate Yakuza. And I've went back and I've played some of Kwame 1 and 2. But I know the story of it. I've watched like the breakdowns of it all. I just didn't really finish those two games, but I did not love my experience with this one. I think it comes down to what I am looking for from Yakuza games, right? Yakuza games. I would describe them if I were to compare them. In terms of food. Oh, this is like Taco Bell, right? Okay. In terms of, like, it is the same five, six, seven ingredients that we're just reforming into different packages, right? Like, every single year, that's what they're doing. And sometimes they throw in, hey, this is the Doritos Loco. Hey, sometimes this is the big. The big. The big cheese it. Right? For this one, it just feels like, no, we're just rehashing everything that we've already seen before.
C
And.
D
And it wore me down. On top of the fact that I think the stories on both sides of it. Dark Ties, I think, is more egregious. But Yakuza Kiwami 3 specifically, is just such an uneven story experience, right? It is very. The. The second half is a lot more exciting than the first half. It is super convoluted. When you actually get to that big finale, you're like, oh, this was it. This was what we're building towards. Even on top of the added stuff that you have with mine. And that. That characterization that they're trying to build from the other experience, that should really kind of make you super excited by that finale of like, fuck, this guy from this game and this guy. They're finally here. And like, it doesn't. It ends in a place where I felt very disappointed. I was kind of not rushing through it, but I was playing it. I was like, I don't want to do the side stuff. I'm not interested in this world. I don't like the combat. The combat in both of these are probably the weakest in the.
B
In the.
D
In the. In the other Yakuza games that I've played, which is weird because you would think, like, oh, it's the same combat every single time. But no, you know, from the Parrot Yakuza game, that was a super fun combat system. It was a lot more grappling. There was a lot more, you know, juggling in the air. All of the combat systems and the play styles that you have between Dark Ties and Kwame three just kind of felt lesser than from the other ones that I've played specifically.
B
Dynamic.
D
Less dynamic. A lot more heavy. Did not. Especially when there is so much combat in this. I was just dreading it every single time. So, yeah, I would say overall, if I were to actually break it down, Dark Ties, I would give a 5 out of 10. I think it's a pretty mediocre experience. I would not really recommend that. I would recommend, honestly, people watching the, hey, here's what the game told you in terms of story wise. And then when it comes to Kiwami 3, I would give that a 6 out of 10. So it's an okay experience if you're a hardcore Yakuza fan. Again, if You've played Yakuza 3, which I did not, you are probably going to have a lot more fun with it. But also you might have some issues from what I've seen online about people being upset about certain changes. So I would recommend it only to the hardest of hardcore. I would not recommend it to somebody who wants to get in for the first time.
C
Yeah, I was raising my hand as someone who will one day take the journey as Roger. No, I will commit to it.
B
You know, he says that and he will be one. One random ass Monday. He'll do it and then by the end of the month, he'll play them all.
D
Yes, exactly.
C
Now, three. Yes, the ream. Is this the best way to play three? Would you say there's another way to play three? Like, I guess when I'm looking back on this lineage, right, it's like, what am I supposed to do?
D
Then when I get to three, you, you play.
C
This is the one.
D
Yeah. This is from. From everything I'm gathering, this is the one you play. I mean, it looks good. It is, you know, in the same new, newer engine. It is, you know, easily accessible on all the platforms. Right. So I would suggest you play this one. I just don't think it's a good story. Like, I just, I think it feels like a filler experience. It does not feel as big as the stories of 1 and 2. It definitely does not feel as big as the recent story of Sorry, the Yak. Even. It just does not. It does not hit as hard as I want to. Even those big anime set piece moments are like falling out of my brain as they're happening. Like, they happen. And then I'm like, oh, what happened? Oh, yeah, I guess they did have that big moment. But like, it doesn't. It doesn't earn it. Like, it doesn't earn that big villain. It doesn't have that moment where I'm like, I care about this villain. I care about this journey. I just was honestly, the thing that I will talk about more. We'll focus on more. Is Like, I just wanted him to be a dad the entire time. That is the focus of Kwame3 is that Kiryu is the head of Morning. I apologize. He is the head of Morning Glory, which is an orphanage, and he is becoming a dad. He has left the Yakuza once again. After every single game, he leaves the Yakuza and now he is the head of this orphanage. And that was really good of like, you're walking around, you're talking to the kids, you're building up this experience and this. This connection with them. But then every time they pull me out into the real story, I'm like, oof. This is just. This is just way too much and also not enough at the same time. It was a very confusing experience for me because I should like this game. I should. This game. But maybe it is just the turn every single year. Maybe it is. I'm looking for that next big leap in Yakuza right now. Maybe that's where I'm at. I'm looking at, you know, Gang of Dragon, which I believe is the. The other game that they're making. Not. They're making the competitor to Yakuza. I'm looking at Stranger Than Heaven. I'm looking for that next step. And I just. I think they need. When we talk about the metaphor of Taco Bell, they need the Doritos logo. They need to bring it. They need to bring in something to shake this up, because for me, they. This is not hitting. And this story specifically is not.
C
I need that Baja Blast Pie.
B
Got it. Something to make you say, oh, get on the news. Good Morning America.
C
Exactly. Now, Greg, of course, we talked about your old review.
B
Yeah.
C
You jumped in as well. What did you play it on? How long did you spend? What did you think?
B
Yeah, I mean, I did switch to version of this as well, because it's my year of switch. And I did the same thing where I was like, I'm going to jump in a dark tides. And, you know, there's a joke around the office for. I think it's Barrett and Bless, Maybe it's you two.
D
I don't know.
B
Maybe this is the one. Maybe this is the one. And so, as I've seen after reviewing three for Yakuza of the Dead, I remember that one too. That's when I. I went down. So I. The rise of it being popular.
D
Yeah.
B
Has been crazy. And I'm always like, oh, maybe I should jump back in. And I've tried Kiwami here or there, whatever. I kicked this one back on. And yeah, Mike, I played about probably 45 to an hour of it and I was like, turn that off. I am good. I remember it is still. And not to mention it's not the best one, but it's like just the stiltedness of everything where I'm like, ah, yes, I remember these. I'm good.
D
I was there. I put in my work. I don't need to do this.
B
And I'm in like, you know, this is the villain kind of. I'm like, I don't remember this, man. What we're doing or why this would matter for where I go.
D
Yeah, and that's something that they're trying very hard to make Mina a thing. And it's like we'll talk about in a second. But like that specifically is just. He does not carry this entire an entire five hour experience.
C
Okay, okay, well, let's talk about that right after a word from our sponsors.
B
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C
And we're back. Roger and Greg, you guys both gave your initial thoughts. Roger gave a review score for both the games, but I want to dive a little bit deeper because we got new content. Yeah, we got new Yakuza content. So Roger, let's talk about dark ties. You know, you've been, you, you gave the score. I want to hear some goods and of course the bads and why you gave it that score.
D
Well, before we do that, let me just break down what this is. Right. So of course you are following mine. Who is. He leaves a world of business. So he is like a. Some leader of some star up and basically he gets ousted from that company pretty fast. That's like the beginning of the whole thing. He gets kicked out, he's rich, he's powerful. But now he doesn't have any friends, he doesn't have any people that he can really trust. So as he took this from the ground up. Yeah, literally. Yeah. So he's walking around, he's on a little, he's drinking a little bit, he walks a little bit, a little bit. He's fucked up. He turns the corner and then he just sees the most insane Yakuza thing you could possibly imagine. He sees Daigo, who is the head of the Tojo clan, basically get ambushed and get shot up. And all of Daigo's men basically put their bodies on him and protect him. And he sees, like, this form of loyalty that he's never seen before, and he's like, fuck, I need that. I need that in my life. I want to join the Yakuza.
B
Because the entire board just flipped on him. Yeah. You know, I mean, this is his idea, his thing. Now they're kicking him out.
D
And it's a really compelling, like, very cool first 20 minutes of the game. It's like, wow, this is awesome. How is he going to join the Yakuza, this underground organization that is based in tradition, that is based in origin? You got to really make sure that you are doing this the right way. You can't just show up and just walk into the Yakuza's front door and just give them a bunch of money. Right. That's what he does. He just walks up, he's one guy's ass.
B
He's like, you'll be my enforcer now. We're gonna go.
D
He just walks in, gives them a bunch of money pretty much, and says, what up? And then they're like, cool, you're part of the Yakuza now. And it is. It is so fucking weird. It is. It. I thought that we were gonna do the story of him having to start from the bottom, maybe learn their ways. Maybe he oversteps a little bit, gets beaten down. Maybe he has to kill somebody for the first time. What does that look like? No, dude just walks in, and then they're like, you're the goat, bro. You're actually sick.
B
We love you.
D
And, like, I'm playing this, and Leanne's is looking at my shoulder. She's like, why the. Aren't they concerned that he might be the police? I'm like, that's a great call. This guy just shows up with infinite money, puts down a bunch of money, and they're like, you're my guy.
B
Well, he's got an app. They know the app.
D
Yeah, exactly. He's got an app. Yeah. So it's. It's so weird that this. That. That they don't do the story of him just building up and becoming, you know, learning what the ways. He is just kind of. The goat walks in. And also he's just a pretty unlikable character because he surrounds himself with probably the most unlikable character in all of Yakuza. Which is. What's his name? Yeah, it's that guy right there. I wrote down a conda. Conda. He is a rapist. Like that. That is the first thing that you see him do is try attempt to rape somebody. And it's like, Jesus, fuck. Right? And then he stops that, but only stops that so that he can basically give this guy money. Mina gives conda money. So he's like, hey, I want you to be my enforcer and I want you to show me the ways of Yakuza. And then they're like buddy buddy the entire game. And it's like one of those buddy buddies of like, oh, like clearly he's going to betray him, right? Like, that is like the underlying like, you know, feeling there. But they don't really say it like that is. My biggest criticism of of mine's character here is that they don't let you into his mind. He's playing the character the entire time of like, okay, well, I'm going to. I'm going to play my part and I'm going to do my thing. But you don't see into like what his plan is. You don't hear his internal dialogue. You don't hear about his past or why he's doing something or his pushes and pulls. So then by the end of it, you're just kind of lost of like, okay, well, I know he's going to portray this guy probably, but I don't really know this guy. You know what I mean? I see the character that he is portraying. I don't see the actual true nature of mine. I think that's really tough for a character like this who is supposed to carry an entire narrative, who's supposed to be the main villain of Yakuza 3 especially. It's a really missed opportunity to not do the Yakuza 0 thing where they do. I don't know if you know, for. You can play as Majima in Yakuza 0 and they really go into his backstory. And of course that character is insane and a lot more deep than mine, but still, like you were able to see the depths of what that character is and his backstory. You do a lot of flashbacks. There's no flashbacks here. It is truly that he gets kicked out of the board. Peace. I'm on. I learned more about this character's backstory through Yakuza 3. And that was like, just like the smallest of cutscenes. Like, it is. It's kind of weird that we're not double dipping or just expanding on what they show in Yakuza 3, because there's a lot here. And I think this character is interesting when you read about him, but in action, he just kind of feels very flat Kind of feels very like, okay, well, I'm. I'm going to, you know, I'm definitely going to betray somebody, but, like, also, I don't know what you're going for, so I don't really care at that point as the main character. So I thought that was probably the biggest issue with this main story is that I just don't understand this character of mine. And they want me so desperately to care about him and to like him. And especially if you're hanging out with a guy like this, it's like, man, I can't like you. Even if you are trying to betray him eventually, like, you are, you are helping him throughout the story. So it's like, it's. It's such a weird one. It's such a weird one, man.
C
How about combat during this sequence? Anything special for this character?
D
Yes and no. So they. When I did the preview, they did the thing with, like, he has two types of styles. And I'm like, does he really? Because he has one. So his fighting style is he, you know, he's just kind of a. He's a boxer. So he, like, he does like the fast sidestep and he punches like any, you know, yakuza fighting style. And then his second fighting style is that he can go Super Saiyan, so he just basically hits a little harder. And you have like these heart meters that you're filling up as you fight, and then you hold down the trigger and then, boom, you can just punch really hard. It's pretty uninteresting, I think, with every
B
yakuza game, right as we go, and they get more hype, and it brings in new audience members and new people who are looking for it. Explain to somebody who doesn't know the history, right, why this game falls flat on the fighting. Whereas other. Because I think at a glance, you look at it, it's like, well, yeah, he's glowing blue or glowing red. He's going to beat the hell up.
D
It's.
E
It's.
D
It's a push and pull, right? Because for me, at least, there's so much fighting in yakuza games. You need to have a good balance of me being able to at least switch it up when I want to when I'm getting bored.
B
Yeah.
D
And when you have just one fighting style, it is truly the most generic button mashing. You're pressing X, you're pressing Y. You know exactly what every heat move is. You know exactly what everything is going to do. I want to be able to switch it up and have those different Moments and I love when Yakuza in the last few ones have just gotten weird with it. There's. For all the flaws that the man who Erased His Name has, which is again, is just glorified dlc, it's not very good. But you had a rocket boost on your fucking shoes and you had like a spider man whip and you're just going around, you're. It's insane. It is so much fun to play that game that it made the whole experience way better. And you just don't have anything to cling on to in this where it became such a choreography. In the Dark Ties and especially in Yakuza Kwame 3, when they force you to do so much combat where you're just like, fuck, man. I just. I want to have fun with this. I want to have. I just want to be either going through these guys really fast or at least be able to switch my moveset so I feel like I have ownership over it where you just don't. You just are a little under leveled the entire time. It just. Everyone's a little too spongy. It's. It's annoying.
C
When I think of Yakuza, of course, the combat, we talk about the characters, the side characters Roger brought up, there seems like a miss. Also the fun side quests, the apps in the involved, the fun side objectives, the fun little gimmick games. What does it look like in such a small package of only 5 hours? Roger, is there anything.
D
Yeah, there's some side stuff. Again, I didn't delve too much into. Into like the actual like side missions because I was trying to finish the game before review. But they have the two main side objectives I would say that you're going for. So you have conda damage control. Again, the worst character in all of Yakuza. Now you have to do damage control for his pr. So what you do is you run around the open world and he's like, listen, I'm an awful person, but I don't want to seem like an awful person. So I want you to go and just do a bunch of fetch quests essentially. So you go, you find people on the street and they're like, oh, I. My tummy hurts. And you run over and you just find, you know, some type of like elixir. You give it to them. What? You know someone's about to get beat up, you beat up that person, save them, points go up, you get, you know, money for every time. So it's pretty basic. Exactly what you expect for something like that. And Then you have Hell's arena, which is, I believe, something that they've done in like a dragon, Infinite wealth and also, I'm sure, other ones. But it's essentially like a roguelite. You're going in and you're fighting hordes of enemies and you go deeper and deeper and deeper and there's like upgrade system again. Would be really cool if I liked the combat. Like I just baseline don't like this combat. So I just really do not want to play that. So those are the two main side stuff you're going on in this package. So for five hours again, you could probably play this for 10 hours, 15 hours, however long you want to do. It's really, you know, it varies depending on how much you're into this. It's nice that you have those two things because they have depth to it. But that depth is pretty shallow once you realize just exactly. You're just punching things and you're finding things around the world.
C
How about the map and locations? Where does this take place? Is it the same as Yakuza 3? So it's not much variation.
D
So yeah, you're on. You're in the city side in Tokyo, in Kamurocho. So you're over there. Yeah, it's just there. So you're not in okanawa, where Yakuza 3 takes place in Okanawa and it takes place in Karo. There's a dual perspective over there. You're just in Kamurocho.
C
So not the most positive here. For the new one, let's talk about Yakuza 3 because you make it seem like this is not the strongest out of the Yakuzas here. What. What didn't hit for you here on this remake?
D
Yeah, it's a weird one because it's. It. It starts off so interesting for me because again, I like Kiryu as a dad and I do think that there's some good stuff there, especially about him dealing with kind of this new. This new sector of his life and trying to distance himself from the Yakuza. But it becomes, you know, the traditional Yakuza thing where the story is. He is, you know, this father. He's doing this thing. And then of course there's some land that. That needs to be bought up by the government. And where is that land? It is exactly where he's sitting on. It is exactly where the Morning Glory Orphanage is on Eminence. Yeah, exactly. So now he's got to around. It's always some land grab and it becomes this pretty drawn out situation. Of like, okay, who's, who's, who is the person that needs this thing? What is the, what is the, the what does this person want? What does this person want? And then it just becomes really confusing to. Then we get to the actual like meat of the story of what is the mystery here? And the way that they explain it is you talk about in your original review of just how long this, the dialogue is everything. Dude, they do the funniest thing in this one where I don't. If it's in the original one, you let me know if you can remember. But they, they sit down like, okay, we're going to, we're just going to expedition dump Exposition dump. We sit down and they literally stop the exposition four to five times. And they say, do you want to break? And they break. They stop it hard. And then you just walk around and you sit back down and you just keep on talking. That is how they exposition dubbed the entire plot. And it's like about halfway through, you finally get to the villains. Halfway through the game, you finally get to see who the real villains of the game are. And they're great. Like the, the Minay and there's a few other people in it. They're good. Like, they're really good. Like, it's compelling, they're scary. It's good stuff. But then we just, we took way too long to get there. There is way too much of them forcing us to do side missions, which we'll talk about right now of like, there's some side stuff here that I hate. I actually think it's like, I, I, it's, it's like egregious in my opinion of like, I, I love Yakuza. I love when they get crazy with it. There's some, there's. This one just feels like it was misguided and it does not work. So they force you to do a fuck ton of the baddie biker gang. Oh sure, of course, of course. Where Kiryu is the leader of a women's biker gang in Okinawa, which is very silly and it's funny and it made me chuckle a few times. But what it comes down to is him just running around the town having to beat up people to then recruit people into the biker gang. And then the biker gang does like a big type of like boss fight where there's like three lanes of these biker gangs and then they have to all complete like their sections in order to get to the boss level. So what that in reality creates, especially in the early level stuff, is Kiryu going down one lane, fighting like 50 people and then realizing that the other biker gang women are not holding their own and they're going to die. So then he has to run over and fight fucking 50 people here, 50 people here. And then finally get to the boss and then kill everyone there. So it just becomes. And it's like they hard stop the game twice to make you do this and recruit enough people. And it is very frustrating. It's like, guys, I understand you. You have this stuff that you really care about. You just got to introduce it and then just let me do it if I really want to. You cannot hard stop the story and tell me. And especially like something so deeply random as him becoming a biker gang leader, which I love. I think it's funny. But it also, like, when you're hard stopping the story, it's like, bro, you got kids to take care of.
B
Like, you got.
D
You got to like, weave this in a little bit better. Like in Pirate Yakuza, where it's like, oh, no, you're dealing with the pirate gang and like, it makes sense. You're finding treasure. Like, that all made sense with the narrative then being like, oh, fuck, what do we do? Okay, he's the leader of a biker gang. Fine. Okay. Like, it's that type of stuff. It just feels prolonged. Again, only 14 hours, which is pretty short for, you know, one of these JRPGs, these Yakuza games. But still, when I'm still feeling the 14 hours and I'm like, fuck, man, I just. I want to get through this. I want to see where the story leads me. And then of course, that story is just not very good. It's tough.
B
What does this do for your excitement slash fandom, like, for the rest of where we're going?
D
Hurts it a lot. Honestly, not a hurts at a good amount because not spoil anything. We don't want to do that. They set up shit at the ending of this. There. There is teases. There's stuff going on here. They're building something here. I don't like what they're building at all. I think we're now maybe two for two of them building something that I'm very scared of. Of. They're doing one thing here in this one that they're building to don't really love. And then they're building some stuff in Infinite wealth that I'm like, oof. There's some scary stuff. I'm like, you might be going a little too far. Might be going fast and furious with it. We might be going Way too far with it. So I'm a little scared of it. I do think that RGG knows they need a kick in the ass. I know that they. They have the feeling, clearly with Stranger Than having, like, they. They need to have this new franchise out the door that they can really push towards. But it doesn't seem like Yakuza is slowing down. It doesn't seem like they're able to kind of make those changes that Stranger Than Heaven is going to make because clearly we're going to get these every single year. They're not stopping. We're going to keep on pushing through. So I am interested to see if we're going to be able to take the lessons from Stranger Than Heaven and then bring them into the Yakuza franchise or are these two things just going to be completely separated? Right. So I'm a little scared and I'm more excited for the Gangs of Dragon. Dragon of Gang, of that. That interests me a lot more.
B
Did you ever play Judgment?
C
No.
D
Yeah, I hear a lot of good things.
B
Yeah, I like Judgment.
D
Yeah, you liked it?
B
Yeah, no, I didn't finish it. I mean, it was a normal thing. I've got the code played and I'm like, man, I'm having a great time. And then like, you look.
D
Compliment.
B
I'm like, I don't have that many more hours to get this or whatever. I mean, it's just very similar, if not the exact same. Right? I mean, different story.
D
Yeah. More detective, More serious. Yeah, less.
B
But even the detective. This is back in the day where I was looking for a detective game and I jumped in and played more of it and I enjoyed it. But I was like, oh, no, this isn't. Like, I'm not being a detective here.
D
Yeah, no, I definitely try that out. But yeah, it's. It's an. It's an interesting one because I had fun moments, especially with Morning Glory. Right. Of like the whole thing is that you are a dad. So you're running around, you're cooking, you're farming, you're sewing. Have a great sewing mini game. I don't know if that. That's anywhere, Barrett, but this is great sewing minigame where it's like. It's like a racetrack. So you're going down, you have to. They have like the turns and the twists, so you have to speed up and slow down and try to get. It's really fun. That's a good one. A reverse. I've never played that before. So that's a Japanese board game. So the way that they do that is. It's. It's. You're going down, you're playing. You're playing reverse you with the kids. But then the way that they pull up each of the kids is like the way they pull up the boss fights in the Yakuza franchise. So it, like, has a small little child. It's like Dun Dun as their name, which is super fun. So there's good stuff there, and you help them with the homework. But, yeah, it just. The. It just. It didn't work out for me, man. There it is. Oh, there he's cooking.
C
There's just like a bunch of activities.
B
Yeah.
D
Fun little stuff.
B
Chance to stag a big one. Yeah. That looks like Hughes, aren't it?
D
Yeah.
B
Yakuza.
C
Okay, well, going into some super chats right now. The record guy writes and says, as a fellow Yakuza enjoyer and Splinter Cell aficionado, I love you, Roger.
D
Thank you.
C
Very kind right there, Roger.
D
I'll never get another Splinter Cell, but
C
I love you, Roger, as someone who will eventually jump into this.
D
Yeah.
C
I will have to play three, right? What is the timelines here? Because you kind of break apart. We have like a dragon. You bring up. You have Yakuza proper with numbers, but, like, what is the timeline? Where would people be?
D
So you start with zero. That is the easy answer. Zero is going to give you the baseline of what you need to know. It sets you up perfectly for Kwame1, if you really want that, which I. I enjoyed a lot. I just never got around to finishing it. But that story is also really great and really personal to Kiryu and everything. Cosmo.
B
What was I supposed to do, Chad? It's what they call them.
D
So I would say zero for sure. You've already played a lot of the pirate one, right. So you. You have some finished pirate.
C
Oh, you did Like a dragon.
B
Crazy.
C
Played a lot of. Like a dragon, but never.
D
Right.
C
Yeah, the first one. Yeah.
D
Oh, the first one. Okay. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. So I would. I would say go zero. You're going to. You're. The world is going to be calling for you to play one, so you're going to play one, maybe play two, and then you can skip around.
C
So now you bring up three. Adding things.
D
Yes.
C
Is that where it ends and we have something new coming? It doesn't go into a 4, and
B
then 5 and 6.
D
There will be. I'm sure we will get to 4, 5, and 6. That is. That's gonna happen. I don't know.
C
Games that are already out Or.
D
Yeah, remakes. No remakes. Remix.
C
Oh, okay.
D
Yeah.
C
And that's where they add new stuff is what you're saying.
D
Sorry, say again.
C
You said at the end of three here, whatever they have, they're cooking something. They're cooking something that you like. I don't know.
D
Yeah.
C
Isn't that just going to. For them?
B
Don't worry about. Don't worry about spoilers for the story.
C
Roger, is there anything else that we have not brought up on this?
D
Yeah, I saw a super chat talking about the casting of one of the villains in the game.
C
Brandicute writes in and says, roger, please address the character casting.
D
Yeah, that's shitty casting. It's fucking. It's fucking.
B
If you don't know, let me bring it up. This is grace over@gamespot.com Yakuza Kiwami 3 director defends casting alleged sexual assaulter Yakuza Kiwami 3 director Ryusuke Horii justified the controversial casting of actor Teruyuki Kagawa as Go in a recent interview, saying, quote, we tried to think of someone who makes you go, this guy's a creep. Hori spoke to Japanese outlet Game Watch independently Translated by IGN about the casting, which has drawn criticism because Kagawa has been accused of sexual assault. Hori said the team made their decision based on what performance they would like to see in the game. Quote Hamazaki is a sleazy, persistent and militant yakuza.
D
Right?
B
Hori said, since he isn't an explosive character like Konda. When we try to think of someone who makes you go, this guy's a creep. Naturally, it was Kagawa that was the main factor. Kagawa's acting is fun to watch. Even when he's chopping a pig's feet off with the chef's Knight Chef's knife, it has a slimy feel. That feeling permeates his performance, so it brings freshness to the scene and made it really fun. Feel really fun. Several women accused Kagawa of sexual assault in 2022. Kagawa has admitted to public I'm sorry. Has admitted to and publicly apologized for one incident, though at least one accuser claimed to have never received a personal apology. Hori also expressed during the interview that the team had considered fan backlash when making the decision. Ultimately, though, he claimed the studio quote, I'm sorry. The studio quote felt there was no use in being afraid. End quote. Yakuza fans have expressed ire posting on social media with the hashtag hashtag removekagawa starting a change.org petition which has almost 10,000 signers Additionally, fans on the Reddit have accused developer RGG Studio of stifling the hashtag removekagawa hashtag on Instagram and removing comments that directly reference the issue. If Kagawa were to be removed, it would not be the first time RGG Studios has recast an actor. It replaced the vocal performance and character model of actor Pierre Tacky in judgment after he was linked to drug use.
D
Yeah, drug use is where we draw the line. Yeah.
B
Yeah. Sexual assault allegations.
D
Nah. Well, because was the drug use, you know, a part of the, the character? If it wasn't, he was throwing cocaine. They would have let that happen. Yeah. Horror. This is so fucking.
B
Please address the casting. That fucking sucks kind of funny. Is very anti sexual assault. If you didn't know.
D
Fucking sucks. But yeah.
C
And then our final one, Yelsing writes, how would you feel if they remade the rest as.
D
I would love that. I adore the turn based RPGs that they're going for with the like a dragon, I guess, mainline stories now. I think they're really great. They're inventive. I, I would have had a lot more fun with this if this was a turn based rpg. I think that is interesting. That is something I, I really, when I was thinking about, oh, what's the mic for Yakuza? I remembered, oh, we do have these turn based RPG's which I really adore. So yeah, I would enjoy that. I don't think people would love that because, you know, they want the remakes of it. But it would be really cool for me. I would love to see maybe more of the side stuff that they're doing, have more RPG tendencies. Maybe they throw in instead of, hey, we're doing another. Whatever, another, you know, pirate Yakuza. Maybe make one of them a turn based RPG instead of just a hack and slash button mashing adventure. So that's, that's a really good call. I would love that.
C
Greg, you've been looking for a grand adventure. Does this relight your fire to possibly get back in there?
B
No, but it's also one of those, like, I feel like I picked the worst one to actually go back and kick the tires on where I was like, oh, this hasn't gone anywhere. And I'm specifically Dark Tides. Obviously I didn't go to the remake expecting it to be like, oh, did they change everything? But like, no, I'm good.
C
Okay.
D
Oh, also, I saw people asking about Switch 2. It runs fine on Switch 2. In my opinion. It's 30fps. The issue that I was very high on it until I played it on handhelds and I got into a lot of fights in the game and not in real life, but I.
B
You weren't on the plane?
D
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I wasn't gonna slap, but I'm fighting. And the dynamic resolution is really aggressive when you're fighting. So you're seeing the jaggies. You're seeing. You're seeing this drop down to like 240p. Like, it's tough sometimes, but it's totally passable. I think most people would enjoy it. So if you.
B
If you're.
D
If you're planning to buy it or the other yakuza games, Switch 2 is a fine place to play them.
C
Okay, well, while we wrap up the show, let me know down in the comments down below. If you're watching later on YouTube what you think of the remake. Are you jumping in to the new content or are you passing on this latest installment of Yakuza? Thank you so much to Roger and Greg for both of your times and to bear for bringing us back in time. Looking at Greg's old school review was a lot of fun. Hopefully you enjoyed it. If you're watching live on Twitch and on YouTube, we are not done with the day. We're gonna kick it over to the lab where Mike and Bless are gonna sit back down at the table and play Magic the Gathering. Oh, no. It's kind of feudy. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Kind of feudy.
B
Never forget, Never my show kind of beauty.
C
And then we're gonna play magic. It's gonna be really exciting. We'll catch you after the after one. Watch the Buds to be updated on the week and we'll catch you tomorrow. Goodbye.
B
Bye. Good job.
C
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This episode of the Kinda Funny Gamescast centers on the review of Yakuza Kiwami 3 and its new companion experience, Dark Ties. The panel—Tim Gettys, Greg Miller, Blessing Adeoye, and Andy Cortez—break down both the remake of the 2009 Yakuza 3 (from RGG Studios and Sega) and the all-new Dark Ties story chapter. The discussion features critical analysis and candid reactions, especially from resident Yakuza devotee Roger, who delivers in-depth impressions along with nostalgia from Greg's original 2010 IGN review.
"I was the caveman that discovered fucking fire. So yeah, I do keep comparing it to GTA. Cause I'm trying to get you fucking cretins in 2009 to play the motherfucking game." – Greg [07:18]
"Second half is a lot more exciting than the first half, but when you get to that big finale, you're like, oh, this was it? ... It ends in a place where I felt very disappointed." – Roger [15:04]
"He just walks in, gives them a bunch of money pretty much, and says, what up? And then they're like, cool, you're part of the Yakuza now. It is so fucking weird." – Roger [25:42]
"They hard-stop the game twice to make you do this and recruit enough people. When you're hard stopping the story, it's like, bro, you got kids to take care of." – Roger [36:57]
"It's fucking. It's fucking... If you didn't know, kind of funny is anti sexual assault." – Greg [44:41, 45:02]
"Zero is going to give you the baseline of what you need to know... and then you can skip around." – Roger [41:05]
On Yakuza’s former cult status in the West:
"I don't think you understand that no one gave a flying fuck about these games at all in the west, let alone ign." – Greg [06:59]
On the flaws of Dark Ties’ story:
"It’s so weird that they don’t do the story of him just building up and becoming, you know, learning what the ways... He is just kind of. The goat walks in." – Roger [26:05]
Combat disappointment:
"I want to have fun with this. I want to be either going through these guys really fast or at least be able to switch my moveset... where you just don’t. You just are a little under-leveled the entire time. It just—everyone’s a little too spongy. It’s. It’s annoying." – Roger [31:17]
On the future of the franchise:
"I think they need... the Doritos Loco. They need to bring it. They need to bring in something to shake this up." – Roger [19:19]
On the casting controversy:
"If you didn’t know, kind of funny is very anti sexual assault." – Greg [45:02]
| Title | Reviewer(s) | Platform | Playtime | Score | Recommended for | |--------------------|----------------|----------|--------------------|-------|------------------| | Kiwami 3 Remake | Roger, Greg | Switch 2 | 14h (Roger) | 6/10 | Hardcore fans | | Dark Ties | Roger | Switch 2 | 5–6h | 5/10 | Completists only |
For those on the fence: For the Yakuza-obsessed only. Everyone else, start with Zero—or wait for something truly new to shake up the formula.