More than 25 years ago, I left what I now openly call a cult.

If you've followed my work for any length of time, you've probably heard me mention my years in India and the spiritual organization I devoted myself to in my twenties.

In 1999, when victims began coming forward with accounts of sexual abuse by the group's leader, I left immediately.

At the time, I was fighting for my life with Stage 4 lymphoma. The choice was clear. Whatever benefit I had received through the teachings, I could no longer ignore the reality of the man at the center of it.

I cut the kite strings.

And for the most part, I left that chapter behind.

A Story That Reopened the Past

Recently, I received an advance copy of a book written by someone I knew from those years.

Her account fills in many of the gaps that remained mysteries to me for decades.

Until now, much of what happened behind the scenes lived in rumours, fragments, and secondhand stories.

Reading her detailed account was devastating.

I was shocked in a way I haven't experienced in a long time. Not surprise. Shock.

For two days I could barely process what I had learned.

The reality was far worse than I could have imagined.

Why This Matters

This episode is not about understanding how intelligent, sincere, truth-seeking people can become involved in systems that gradually separate them from their own authority.

It's about the difference between genuine inner work and environments that cultivate dependency.

It's about recognizing the signs before years, health, relationships, resources, and purpose are consumed by something that doesn't hold your best interest.

De-Cult Inner Work

What does inner work look like when it belongs to you?

What happens when spiritual development is grounded in direct experience, self-observation, and truth rather than personality, hierarchy, or devotion to an authority figure?

How can we recognize the warning signs of cult dynamics earlier?

How do we leave safely?

And how do we recover what was valuable without carrying forward what was harmful?

A Cautionary Tale

I'm sharing this story in part on behalf of the author, who is currently facing her own life-threatening illness.

My hope is that her courage in telling the truth may help others recognize unhealthy dynamics sooner, find their way out safely, and reconnect with a path of inner work rooted in freedom.

Join me for this important conversation.

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If we're just meeting...

I’m Beth Martens—founder of the House of Free Will, pattern hunter, archetype reader, podcaster, author, coach trainer, and business coach. My calling has truly been a life-or-death matter. After a decade as a corporate VP in my family’s firm, eight transformative trips to India, and a three-year battle with cancer nearly 25 years ago, I turned to archetypes and deep deprogramming work to save my life.

Despite doing everything wrong based on limited health knowledge, I accessed the hidden inner roots of what was keeping me sick, stuck, and unconscious. Letting those patterns go changed everything. I went from dying to living almost overnight.

Today, I help people who love truth more than their beliefs—people who want to serve with their life’s work and walk their Hero’s Journey—to deprogram the beast system from within and stop unconsciously feeding the forces that harm us.