#1102: The 5-Star Poetry Slam

Summary

Knowledge Fight Episode #1102: The 5-Star Poetry Slam

Released: December 15, 2025
Hosts: Dan & Jordan

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Episode Overview

In this lighthearted and nostalgic episode, Dan and Jordan take a break from deep-diving into Alex Jones’s daily outrages and focus on one of the quirkiest characters in the Infowars universe: Marty Schacter, the soap sponsor known for closing his regular ad spots with limericks, poems, and, at times, full-blown literary performances. Titled "The 5-Star Poetry Slam," the episode is a curated trip through Marty’s poetic evolution on the Alex Jones Show, reflecting both the absurdity and endearing qualities lurking at the fringe of alternative media. Dan and Jordan’s conversation offers both sharp analysis and gentle ribbing as they break down Marty's most memorable moments.

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Main Themes and Episode Purpose

• A Gentle Episode: After weeks of emotionally strenuous episodes, Dan intentionally selected a "nice walk through the park": a compilation and analysis of Marty Schacter’s recurring poetic bits.
• Fandom and Farewell: The episode recalls the memorable moment of John Cena’s (alleged) final WWE match, serving as a "bright spot" and segue into the nature of showmanship and long-term character arcs.
• The Absurd Heart of Alex Jones’ Show: Through Marty’s limericks, the hosts expose both the farcical and oddly wholesome layers of a show otherwise known for paranoia and vitriol.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Opening Bright Spots (01:15—04:45)

• Jordan’s Bright Spot: Discovering Open Mike Eagle’s 2025 album, with a standout Superman-themed track:
  • “It’s very much like, hey, everybody at the Daily Planet, you know that's fucking Superman, right? Why are you—why are you gaslighting me? Why are y' all gaslighting me?” (Jordan, 02:21)
  • The hosts riff on superhero logic and comic strips with light banter.
• Dan’s Bright Spot: Reveling in his annual cheese advent calendar, but expressing disappointment over repeated cheese types:
  • “There’s 24 possible cheeses. Get it together.” (Dan, 05:51)

The John Cena Retrospective (09:57—17:46)

• Dan gets sentimental as he talks about John Cena's last WWE match ("the hustle, loyalty, respect, never give up" guy), and the peculiar symbolism of Cena losing to a character dubbed "the Nazi fella" in a “dark timeline.”
• “The fact that [mixed reactions to Cena] is a sustainable thing that someone can do is such a testament to how good they are as a performer...” (Dan, 12:47)
• Both hosts reflect on nostalgia, sports entertainment, and how rare it is for wrestlers to retire on their own terms.

Programming Note & Set-Up for the Main Segment (18:15–20:12)

• Dan explains the decision to have a “gentle” episode as a reward for Jordan enduring several tough recent episodes and as a pre-apology for possible future gauntlets.

The Marty Schacter Limerick Deep-Dive

The Early Years: Folksy Clean Limericks (20:38–30:10)

• First Limerick Appearance (21:17):
  • Marty: “A bee’s a busy little soul. He has no time for birth control. That is why, in times like these, we have so many sons of bees.” (21:19)
  • The hosts debate whether Marty reuses his material and the implied advocacy (or lack thereof) for birth control.
  • “You can't be touring the same hour, buddy. You got to rewrite, rewrite, rewrite.” (Jordan, 24:48)

Marty’s Life Philosophy (26:38–29:08)

• Marty veers into greeting-card wisdom: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That's why they call it the present.” (Marty, 26:51)
• The hosts affectionately poke fun at Marty’s “character” and speculate humorously about his penchant for sign-offs in real life.

Developing His Poetic Game (30:10–41:08)

• Expansion into Slant Rhymes and Nuns:
  • Marty delivers a Siberian monk limerick: “There was a young monk from Siberia whose life grew dreary and dreary. So a night with a yell, he escaped from his cell and eloped with a Mother Superior.” (Marty, 30:42)
• Marty’s passion for soap-as-identity: “He is a fucking soap guy.” (Dan, 33:49)
• The hosts analyze the plausibility and themes of Marty’s poems, consider the role of Mother Superior, and note Marty’s evolving delivery.

Pushing the Envelope: Racy and Borrowed Material (41:49–56:07)

• Risqué Humor Entry:
  • "Sex on television is not harmful unless you fall off." (Marty quoting, 34:51)
    Attributed to Woody Allen, the hosts joke about Marty's borrowing habits.
• "Attributed to Lincoln":
  • “Drinking beer from a tomato can will never kill a man. Drinking beer won't kill a man, but an old tomato can.” (Marty, 36:31)
  • Dan and Jordan ridicule the dubious Lincoln connection and the nebulous meaning.
• Applause Sound Effects and Theatrical Ambition:
  • Marty unveils homemade sound effects and a self-written, multi-minute Hamlet soap monologue (starting at 46:10), earning forced applause from Alex.
  • “That was Alex demanding dominance back over his show.” (Jordan, 51:00)
• The hosts agree Marty likely annoyed Alex by taking up too much airtime with these “mini-plays.”

The Limerick Arms Race and Meta-Humor (66:17–69:06)

• Meta-Limerick: Marty tries to reassure Alex after complaints about racy content:
  • "But the good ones I’ve seen so seldom are clean, and the clean ones so seldom are comical. For Alex, every line has been cleaned. Not a word that’s profane or obscene..." (Marty, 67:02)
  • Dan and Jordan peg this as the fallout from an off-air warning about dirtiness.

The Final Limericks: Going Out with a Bang

• Top Quotes from Final Limericks:
  • “A skydiving couple named Lord decided on sex while they soared. They got so excited while flying united, they never did pull the ripcord.” (Marty, 69:15)
    • Alex’s response: “Marty, that's a little racy. But that's your first racy one, so we'll let you get by with it. God bless you.” (Alex, 69:31)

What Marty Reveals About Alex Jones (Throughout)

• Marty’s increasingly outlandish, dirty, or meta limericks made him both an asset and a liability for Alex’s show.
• “He can’t best Mr. Mixelplicks... Once somebody can do that, people will stop liking Alex as much because they’ll realize there’s something more fun to listen to.” (Dan, 75:07)
• Dan concludes that Marty embodies the absurd underbelly of Alex’s operation and that the presence of the limerick guy exposes Alex’s limits as a performer and authority.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote/Segment | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------| | 02:21 | “Hey, everybody at the Daily Planet, you know that's fucking Superman, right? Why are y' all gaslighting me?” (Jordan) | | 21:19 | “A bee’s a busy little soul. He has no time for birth control…” (Marty Schacter’s first limerick) | | 34:51 | “Sex on television is not harmful unless you fall off.” (Marty quoting a Woody Allen joke) | | 46:10–50:33 | Marty’s full-length Hamlet soap monologue—Marty rewrites Shakespeare as an ad for Cal Ben Soap, resulting in a drawn-out theatrical performance, complete with a battle over applause sound effects. | | 59:05 | “An accident, really uncanny, occurred to my elderly granny. She sat down in a chair while her false teeth lie there and bit herself right in the fanny!” (Marty)| | 69:15 | “A skydiving couple named Lord decided on sex while they soared…” (Marty's final, racy limerick)| | 75:07 | “Marty is a little cherub running around that Alex can’t understand... He can’t best Mr. Mixelplicks.” (Dan)| | 77:55 | “He is the kind of person who is doing a show about how the globalists are going to round everyone up in FEMA camps and... the only way he can make money doing it is if an old dude tells dirty limericks on his show. That’s who he is at his heart.” (Dan on Alex Jones) |

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Bright Spots: 01:15–04:45
• Cena/Fandom Talk: 09:57–17:46
• Episode Structure Explanation: 18:15–20:12
• The Marty Schacter Limerick Arc:
  • Early years (first limericks): 20:38–30:10
  • Philosophy & Reflection: 26:38–29:08
  • Monk/Siberia Era: 30:10–41:08
  • Racy/Meta Limericks & Hamlet: 41:49–67:02
  • Final "Racy" Limericks: 69:06–72:08
  • Closing Reflections: 75:07–End

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Tone and Language

Dan and Jordan balance scholarly analysis (riffing on poetry forms, meter, and literary references) with playful, sometimes irreverent banter—matching the absurd but affectionate tone of Marty’s own interludes. Their humor is anchored in wit, gentle sarcasm, and a genuine fondness for eccentricity.

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Summary for the Uninitiated

If you have never listened to Knowledge Fight, this episode is a highly accessible and entertaining detour from the show's usual forensic scrutiny of Alex Jones. By focusing on Marty Schacter, the "soap sponsor limerick guy," Dan and Jordan provide a unique lens for understanding the surreal economy and theatricality of Infowars. Through a mixture of full limerick recitations, critical (and often hilarious) commentary, and context about the show's dynamics, listeners walk away with a sense both of the nostalgia and the low-key subversiveness that sometimes creep into even the most bombastic corners of alternative media.

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Final Takeaway:
Through the evolution of one man’s limericks, we glimpse both the boundaries and the accidental joys of Alex Jones’s world—where one sponsor’s shtick can almost derail an empire of fear-mongering, and where poetry, in its oddest forms, offers a kind of accidental resistance.

Transcript

[Marty Schacter]

Red alert. Red alert.

[Jordan]

Red alert. Red alert.

[Marty Schacter]

Red alert.

[Dan]

Red alert.

[Marty Schacter]

Red alert.

[Dan]

Red alert.

[Marty Schacter]

Red alert.

[Dan]

Nop. Nope.

[Alex Jones]

Nop. Knowledge fight.

[Dan]

Dan and Jordan.

[Alex Jones]

I am sweating. Knowledgebody.com. it's time to pray.

[Marty Schacter]

I have great respect for Knowledge Fight.

[Alex Jones]

Knowledge Fight. I'm sick of them posing as if they're the good guys saying we are the bad guys. Knowledge Fight.

[Jordan]

Dan and George.

[Marty Schacter]

Knowledge Fight.

[Dan]

Need. Need money.

[Alex Jones]

Andy in Kansas.

[Dan]

Andy and Andy.

[Alex Jones]

Stop it. Andy and Chan. Andy and Kansas. It's time to pray. Andy and Kansas, you're on the air. Thanks for holding.

[Marty Schacter]

Hello, Alex. I'm a first time caller. I'm a huge fan. I love your word.

[Jordan]

Knowledge Fight.

[Alex Jones]

Knowledge fight dot com. I love you.

[Dan]

Hey everybody. Welcome back to Knowledge Fight. I'm Dan.

[Jordan]

I'm Jordan.

[Dan]

We're a couple dudes like to sit around, worship at the altar of Selene and talk a little bit about Alex Jones.

[Jordan]

Oh, indeed we are. Dan.

[Dan]

Jordan.

[Jordan]

Dan, Jordan, Quick question for you, buddy.

[Dan]

What's up?

[Jordan]

What's your bright spot today?

[Dan]

Why don't you go first? Because it's December and you always go first in December.

[Jordan]

That's our new rule. That's just how it works. Well, my bright spot today is there, it's the end of the year, December, of course.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

And this is when people start putting out all their best of the year music lists and movie lists and all that shit.

[Dan]

It'd be weird if they did that at a different time of year.

[Jordan]

It would be strange. And so this year I have been more disconnected from the Internet and like the music and all of that than I ever have before. So I was listening to some of those and I realized that there's a new open mike Eagle album for 2025 and it's fantastic.

[Dan]

I feel like I've heard you talking about that on this show. I know about this. How do you not know?

[Jordan]

No, no, no. That was the last one. That was the last one that I had found. He puts out an album every year or so, I think.

[Dan]

Sure, sure.

[Jordan]

But yeah, it's really good. There's a song about Superman.

[Dan]

Pro or anti.

[Jordan]

It's. It's very. How about, let's put it this way, it's very much like, hey, everybody at the Daily Planet, you know that's fucking Superman, right? Why are you. Why are you gaslighting me? Why are y' all gaslighting me?

[Dan]

You're journalists, right?

[Jordan]

Absolutely.

[Dan]

You're trained to ask the five questions you're looking at this guy. Nope. No questions here.

[Jordan]

Nope. Yeah, it's It's. No. And it's a really great album because that is kind of emblematic of the whole way that he. He manages to take these very small, like, mundane pop culture things and pull really, really solid found metaphors out of him. So it's just a great album. It's a great album.

[Dan]

Was it any. Any. Any discussion of crypto the dog?

[Jordan]

Crypto the dog? Oh, I was going to say. I was like, does he have a crypto referee?

[Alex Jones]

I know the dog.

[Dan]

The cool ass flying dog in the new Superman.

[Jordan]

No, unfortunately, we don't. I believe he was pulling more from the old Daily Planet days for comic strip days.

[Dan]

Fair enough. At least one of those people, Jimmy Olsen, is just a liar. He knows.

[Jordan]

Sure. Oh, that is true.

[Dan]

I mean, he knows who Superman is.

[Jordan]

He. Well, Lois Lane knows.

[Dan]

Right, right. And she works there. So the two of them both work there. And they're. Yeah, they're. They're liars.

[Jordan]

They're probably gossip. There's a lot of people that go out after dinner or go out for dinner and stuff like that. Everybody does.

[Dan]

Reporters drink, man. They drink.

[Jordan]

Absolutely. There's no way that she hasn't let slip that she's fucked Superman, right?

[Dan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that. I mean, status.

[Jordan]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Even if you don't say it's Clark, you're just like, hey, you know, Super Bowl. Okay.

[Dan]

That from the song?

[Jordan]

Yep.

[Dan]

So my bright spot, Jordan, is that it is the 15th. It is December 15, and as is tradition through December, it is time for some cheese. It's time for cheese. It's time for cheese.

[Jordan]

Dance cheese, Advent calendars. As long as Jordan doesn't ruin it with shitty vamping.

[Dan]

Thank you. Thank you so much, Nick.

[Jordan]

God, what a winner.

[Dan]

Got a little dig in on Jordan.

[Jordan]

I like a good stab through the back. That's.

[Dan]

I like. I. I like the idea, too, that this is. Stings and jingles are evolving as we go along to reflect what the segment has become.

[Jordan]

Yep.

[Dan]

So it is the 15th, more than halfway through this. This advent calendar, and I've got. I gotta. I gotta. I gotta chew on Aldi's ear a little bit here. I gotta. I got a problem. I gotta. I gotta. Got a dark spot here.

[Jordan]

All right.

[Dan]

And that is they advertise that there's 24 cheeses and we've already repeated cheeses.

[Jordan]

Wow. I mean, technically, we have yet to really repeat a cheese.

[Dan]

That's not true. I got a mature gouda again.

[Jordan]

Oh, never mind.

[Dan]

Yeah, no, repeated a cheese in terms of what we've done in the cheese jingle show. Sure. No, there's not been any repeats. But in my personal life, I have opened up one of these boxes and seen like, oh, this is just the same thing again. And that I think is a cop out. I think that's cheap. There's 24 possible cheeses. Get it together.

[Jordan]

Yes. But maybe Aldi knows that you have a personal cheese at a professional cheese life that needs to be shared. So they're like, maybe he would like another mature gouda in his personal life.

[Dan]

No. And if I. And if I did, I would go get it. I would. I would take that matter into my own hands.

[Jordan]

That does seem.

[Dan]

I'm opening up creek, opening up these little boxes on the advent calendar. I'm like, oh, I fucking love this one. Guess what? It exists. I can go find it.

[Jordan]

You're just. You just don't believe that Aldi knows what's best for you. And I think that you have made a grave mistake when you don't trust them.

[Dan]

I definitely agree that I don't think they know what's best for me. But today we have a new one, a new little cheese, and it might be. It might be a little bit appropriate. Okay, Might be a little bit appropriate because this is cheddar with whiskey.

[Jordan]

Okay. All right.

[Dan]

Yeah, might be. It might get wasted on this cheese. And now we come.

[Jordan]

Good idea.

[Dan]

We come to the part where Jordan vamps and I eat this cheese.

[Jordan]

Right. I think whiskey at this time of the year is fantastic. Especially today. I don't know if it will be clear from the, like description later on, but we are recording this remotely. It is roughly 0 degrees outside in Chicago and it's the type of temperature that where people add the feels like to it. Nobody ever adds a temperature like, feels like 55. Nope. It's. It's 0 degrees and it feels like you're gonna die. Or it's 105 degrees and it feels like 130. Like there's never a good. It feels like when it comes to temperature. So that is kind of how it is outside right now.

[Dan]

Yeah. It never feels like nicer.

[Jordan]

Feels like better than you would have expected. Not going to happen.

[Dan]

So a cheddar on whiskey is mighty risky. Got him wasted. I wasted bite of this cheese.

[Jordan]

I fucked up an open mike eagle.

[Dan]

Lyric or a space ghost episode.

[Jordan]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Dan]

Shark on beer is a beer engineer.

[Jordan]

That is old Kentucky cheese and it has been there.

[Dan]

Yeah. You know what? I don't really taste whiskey at all in that. This just tastes like a Cheddar. And it tastes like a fine cheddar. I'm not mad at it, but yeah, it could have. This could have a little more whiskey in it.

[Jordan]

How do you infuse the taste of cheese with whiskey? Do you know what I mean?

[Dan]

I imagine as it's aging, you maybe like barrel soak it or something like that. I don't know. I know that you infuse things by soaking them.

[Jordan]

Okay.

[Dan]

Because there's some cheeses that are like soaked in espresso or whatever, and it gets in the rind.

[Jordan]

That's more information than I had. So it's. See, like if you had just come up to me and said, oh, they soak this cheese in a barrel, I would have been very surprised and laughed at you, probably because that doesn't sound real. But I guess they might. I guess they might just soak cheese in barrels these days.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

All right.

[Dan]

In a barrel. You're fine. I'm wasted.

[Jordan]

I mean, you had. You had a little bit of chewing in there. That definitely. That's a little fragile.

[Marty Schacter]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Put it in bugger's vent. What are we doing, Jordan? Why are we here?

[Jordan]

We are recording an episode of the podcast.

[Dan]

That's right. We're doing it remotely because it's cold outside and I didn't want you to have to come over here.

[Jordan]

Feels like cold outside.

[Dan]

It's so damn cold. And unfortunately, because we're doing this remotely, I don't have the wonk sound effect, so I can't give a shout out to any wonks. But in place of that, something that I would like to do is discuss. Maybe not and maybe. I don't know if it's a bright spot, but it's something that happened last night, Jordan.

[Jordan]

Okay. Are you going to talk about somebody who in particular who might.

[Dan]

Yeah, sure. Let's make them a walk.

[Jordan]

Yoked, very ripped.

[Dan]

Yeah. Maybe an honorary wonk of some sort. Yeah.

[Jordan]

Oh, I like that.

[Dan]

Last night we witnessed John Cena's last match in the wwe. He is gone. The last time is passed. And I almost. I almost cried. I was close. Really, I was close. I got sentimental. Yeah, for sure.

[Jordan]

I have. So this is. This is something that I do want you to talk about because we have had many conversations about John Cena over the years based upon your whimsical nature of liking and disliking him. And I think that has been the wrestling fans entire experience. Right. Isn't that what I'm hearing?

[Dan]

I've always liked him, but I think some stretches of his Career are pretty boring. I think that sometimes things weren't going that great, and I think some booking decisions were obviously, like, wrong. But I've always thought, like, he has something going for himself. He's a cut above the norm. And he seems like a great guy. Like, in terms of. He has a really good public image of, like, I spend all my time doing all this make a wish shit. Yeah, I am. I have a good sense of humor about myself. I'll let myself be the butt of jokes and movies and, you know, late night appearances. I don't care. I don't take myself too seriously.

[Jordan]

Actual scar. Yeah.

[Dan]

And I think that that charm has always been there. And. And yeah, I like the guy. I think, you know, sometimes he's boring, but sure.

[Jordan]

I just think that he's kind of. From what I've read.

[Dan]

Because Bray should have won. Yes, okay. Exactly. That's fine.

[Jordan]

From what I've read. No, but from what I've read about Cena's current retirement and eventual unretirement is that his relationship with the fans has been like, they have either liked or disliked him. And sometimes on the same show, it's just a very random feeling kind of relationship in terms of liking and disliking.

[Dan]

He won all the time. And for, like, no one beat him. For you had like, Hulk Hogan level. No one can beat him. And so people did turn on his super Cena Ness. And so, like, there was a stretch of time where people would have, like, signs that say, if Cena wins, we riot. And it would become a thing where people would chant, let's go Cena. Cena sucks. Let's go Cena. Like, dueling chants would break out pretty regularly.

[Jordan]

Right, well, that explains America right now. That explains it all, doesn't it?

[Dan]

Well, and the fact that that is like a sustainable thing that someone can do is such a testament to how good they are as a performer that you're getting these reactions out of people. And, you know, I think in this last stretch, him, like, the going bad heel turn stuff didn't work. But that was the Rock's fault. I think that I would 100% think that's the Rock's fault. But yeah, the last match, obviously he had to lose. It was destined to lose. And he was. He went. He was against Gunter, the Nazi fella, the giant Nazi fella on the lineup.

[Jordan]

I'm sorry. So the American hero lost to the Nazi.

[Dan]

Yeah. And he. John Cena, his whole thing is hustle, loyalty, respect, never give up. And he tapped out and he Tapped out. Yeah.

[Jordan]

That is a metaphor. That is dark. That is a dark metaphor.

[Dan]

It is. Especially considering, like, he. After the match, you know, like, there's this big ceremony. Everybody comes out to the ring and is standing around. He kisses the mat, but also the mat is. It says Riyadh season on it. It's just dark. It's just dark.

[Jordan]

This is a dark timeline, man.

[Dan]

All really normal stuff. Like, he's got to lose to a heel in his last match, right? He's got to kiss the mat, show the respect for wrestling. He's got to do all these things, but because of the world we live in, it's all, like, just right. It's just reflected in a crazy house mirror slightly.

[Jordan]

Right, right, right. So he has to lose to the heel. So the story going in is avenging Cena just immediately right out the gate, taking it away from the bad guy.

[Dan]

No, no, you have to go out on your back if you're like a big guy, because you got to put over the next generation, you know, like, you winning doesn't do anything except for your ego is stroked by you won the last match. Whereas if you're someone like Cena, someone retiring you and beating you in your last match can be really good for them going forward. So he has to do that. If he wins his last match, he's an asshole. That's basically. That's the understanding that everybody has gotcha. And it's better if it's a real heel who beats him, because then they can be. He can be like, I fucking beat your hero, you piece of shit. You all suck. You can't compare to me, the Nazi ring general.

[Jordan]

Right, right, right. He wasn't even going to retire that. That show. He was going to retire the next show, but I kicked his ass too hard. He had to retire.

[Dan]

Well, I don't know if you could pull that off, because the whole thing was. Kept talking about how this is his last night.

[Jordan]

It did feel very obvious.

[Dan]

Yeah, it was fun, though. Like, that, you know, walk down memory lane of stuff. And, like, they had a lot of great video packages of his career and, like, past opponents and stuff. That was really sweet. Like CM Punk's interview. Like, when they were talking to him, he was, like, crying, like, he had tears in his eyes. Talking about how, like, everybody thought I hated you, but in reality, I've always just been following your lead. And, oh, my God, that was beautiful. But then there was also the Rock, and the Rock made Ceta's retirement all about him.

[Jordan]

What? I can't believe that.

[Dan]

Yeah. You earned a great retirement. And we did some great matches together. It was.

[Jordan]

Come see my upcoming Movie, Black Adam 2.

[Dan]

Get some Taremana tequila.

[Jordan]

Do you know what? You remind me a lot of the Smashing Machine out last summer. Yeah.

[Dan]

No one can make me watch that movie. It is. You have to. You'll have to Clockwork Orange me in order to never get asked to see that. But anyway, it was a nice time. I had a. I had a. I had a. I had a blast, I guess. I guess. I don't know.

[Jordan]

I mean, you know, it was a moment in your life, and those are sometimes tough to come by. Right.

[Dan]

It's weird, too, to have somebody who's like, you know, he is a star now. He doesn't have to do this. He's in movies, and he's in movies.

[Jordan]

With Idris Elba as the prime minister, and he's the President of the United States. So let's not say he's, like, in movies for wrestlers.

[Dan]

That's huge.

[Jordan]

That's fair. That's fair. That's fair.

[Dan]

Compared to the movies Hulk Hogan was doing, like, and John Cena's in the Fast and Furious franchise. Like, he's. You know, he's doing things.

[Jordan]

You're right. You're right.

[Dan]

And also, he didn't hurt himself in some terrible way, so he's retiring in a way that's not like. Sorry. This sucks.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Dan]

It's strange. You rarely get to see these weird moments like this. People in that industry either usually die or. It's really sad. And so, like, this was weird.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Anyway, Via con Dios. John Cena, is she.

[Jordan]

All the best until we see you again. Stay in shape, buddy.

[Dan]

But Bray should have won. So, Jordan, today we have an episode we're gonna be doing here, and I knew that we were going to be recording remotely, and so I wanted to do something that wasn't going to be too difficult. Too hard. Too straining on our emotions.

[Jordan]

Sure.

[Dan]

And then also, I had. I had a feeling that this last couple months, I've been trying real hard to give you superpowers. I've put you through a real gauntlet of shit. And maybe that's not fair. Maybe. Maybe you deserve a break. Maybe. Maybe we shouldn't just be trying to push your buttons all the time. Maybe. Maybe we should do something nice.

[Jordan]

Two Brits. Two Brits who talk too much and are awful people. That's two.

[Dan]

Yeah. Yeah. And even beyond that, you know, there's Elijah Schaefer and a possible Elijah Schaefer. Full episode that still could be coming. There's other things that I'm going to do in the future that this is sort of an apology in advance for.

[Jordan]

Gotcha. Gotcha. Well, thanks. That's pleasant.

[Dan]

So what I thought I would do is I would put together just a nice walk through the park of times that Marty Schacter, Alex's soap sponsor, has been on the show and done limericks.

[Jordan]

Oh, God. This might be the happiest day of the year.

[Dan]

So we can.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Dan]

And I think that this, like, really leans into some of your skills as an English major, as someone who likes.

[Jordan]

Literature, as somebody who ruins things with bad vamping.

[Dan]

Yeah, yeah. Ooh, Vamping and vaping. That's the. Whoa.

[Jordan]

Is that us? Is that our new after show about when we talk about knowledge Fight?

[Dan]

Yep.

[Jordan]

On Hulu. Mm.

[Dan]

So, yeah, I just. I have a collection of Marty Schacter. Some limericks, some not, some very much not.

[Jordan]

I'm in. I couldn't be more in. I just want to hear limericks for the rest of the day.

[Dan]

So these are all in chronological order. These are like in terms of his first appearance, as things go on, as he gets a little bit more comfortable with being on the show.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Dan]

And maybe pushes things too far.

[Jordan]

Are you saying that we are doing an evolution of Schachter episode?

[Dan]

Yeah, yeah. This is a deep dive on the soap, man.

[Jordan]

I love it.

[Dan]

So here is the first time that Marty was on the show and goes for a limerick. And it's a real simple one. This is just a nice old man again.

[Alex Jones]

The globalist are shyster. So see, they set up a system again, it's always the same to do this. Whereas we have made in America high quality systems that just use plant matter, just use vegetable oils to truly clean the good old fashioned way, folks. Give him a call. 800-340-70. 91. God bless you and good to have you on Marty.

[Marty Schacter]

Thank you very much. Can I close with a poem?

[Alex Jones]

Sure.

[Marty Schacter]

The little soul. He has no time for birth control. That is why in times like these we have so many sons of bees.

[Alex Jones]

They're funny. Take care.

[Marty Schacter]

Thank you.

[Alex Jones]

You bet. He's a real character, folks. You can hear the phones ringing.

[Dan]

Yeah, there's a real. Is a real character right there. Sons of bees.

[Jordan]

I like that. I like that For a couple of reasons. One, if this is his first time and he's throwing out, can I close with a poem? Alex does not actually know what is about to happen, right?

[Dan]

I think not. I would assume not. I mean, like, who knows what goes on in contracts, you know, like, there could have been a deep negotiation that went on. But I will say at this point, I do have some context. Like, Marty Schacter was only a sponsor with Genesis Communications, and Alex wanted him to be a, like, direct sponsor for Alex as opposed to sponsoring Alex through gcn. And so at this point, he is, like, hooked up with Ted Anderson and the GCN folks. So Alex isn't. He's not directly sponsored by him yet. At the point when he's doing this be. Limerick, this B poem.

[Jordan]

That's more of a couple. That's a couplet. There's a. There's two lines, two rhymes. I like that. That's a little four spot.

[Dan]

Yeah. These bees, they're busy souls. They don't have time for birth controls.

[Jordan]

Do you think he wrote that on his own, or do you think he grabbed that from somewhere?

[Dan]

Tough to say. Also, the bee population is dropping.

[Jordan]

They're not enough sons of bees, frankly, at this point in time, that's what it feels like.

[Dan]

Yes. He's totally wrong.

[Jordan]

Somehow, even when they're just doing borderline innocuous poems, they're wrong about something horrible.

[Dan]

Yeah, but, I mean, bees should wrap it up. Sure. Cool. So a little bit later, Marty is back on the show, and Alex has him bring out a little limerick.

[Marty Schacter]

We sold a factory direct, and it was. We still got people after all these years buying our products for themselves, their new families or whatever.

[Alex Jones]

All right, Marty, let me give people the number. 800-3407-918003-40791. God bless you, my friend. We'll talk to you again soon.

[Marty Schacter]

Alex, thank you. Let me close with a little tiny poem. A bee's a busy little soul. He has no time for birth control. That is why in times like these, we have so many sons of bees.

[Alex Jones]

Take care, my friend.

[Marty Schacter]

Thank you, Alex.

[Alex Jones]

There goes Marty. What a character.

[Dan]

Yeah. What a character. Did the same fucking poem.

[Jordan]

That was the second time. And he did the same poem. All right.

[Dan]

He did the same poem.

[Jordan]

All right, so let's have a post this one conversation between Alex and Marty right here. Because to me, I'm hearing this and I'm going, well, this man's gonna try and make this the same bit every single time that we see each other. So I need to nip this in the bud right now. I need you to never do a poem again, Marty.

[Dan]

I need you to either never do a poem or you need some. You need a new bit, man. You can't be coming to my show and doing the same material. The audience is. They're not responding anymore. The B stuff is dead. You burned it.

[Jordan]

This is not 80s comedy. You can't be touring the same hour, buddy. You got to rewrite, rewrite, rewrite. You got to go.

[Dan]

And I know the B bit is good. It's strong. I understand that. But, yeah, you gotta keep moving. You gotta keep moving.

[Jordan]

Cause you're on the right path. We love being mean about birth control here. That's what we're here to do. So add more lines, write new poems about birth control, but do not do the same poem ever again. I cannot fake laugh anymore.

[Dan]

Now you've touched on something interesting. Because I think that Marty's folksiness and what the implication of the limerick is, is. Is supporting of birth control. I think that this is actually counter to the beliefs that Alex would want. Like, there would be less sons of bees out there if people were using birth control.

[Jordan]

But they don't want people to use birth control because then there won't be enough white people. That's the next part of these poems. It needs to be more about white people.

[Dan]

This is in, like, the 2006, 2007 period. So that might have been too strong for the time.

[Jordan]

Right, right, right, right. It was different. Yeah, that's fair. Passionate conservatism.

[Dan]

I'm not sure if Marty got a note from Alex that, like, what you're saying of, like, you got to get some new bits, stop it with a B thing. But he does branch out for his next appearance, and instead of having a poem, he has a life philosophy.

[Alex Jones]

Okay, Marty, thank you for being one of the few companies, I guess, left in this country. And thank you for your amazing product. We've got to get it in Whole Foods grocery stores. Have you tried that yet? Because I've been for years buying organic subs there, and a lot of them are really harsh. Super expensive. Even more than the normal toxic stuff at the regular grocery store. Have you tried to get your.

[Marty Schacter]

Yes. I'll tell you a story about that on our next visit. I'd like to end with a little. Just a little philosophy. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That's why they call it the present.

[Alex Jones]

Marty. Take care.

[Marty Schacter]

Thank you, Alex.

[Alex Jones]

He is something else.

[Dan]

He sure is.

[Jordan]

This makes me think he did not. He did not write the previous poem.

[Dan]

No, he fucking saw them on a Hallmark card. Also, marty schacter fought in world war ii.

[Jordan]

Do you know what's crazy? Do you know what he said on VJ Day. Let me close with the poem.

[Dan]

Yeah. Every single time there's a D Day memorial, he comes up with a limerick. There once was a man from Normandy.

[Jordan]

I have a question. His wife thought he was a morbundy.

[Dan]

I believe you said you had a question.

[Jordan]

Sorry. All right, so once we've established that this man likes to close things out with his own little sign off. Right. Do you think this extends to other places in his life, or do you think this is just like, I'm on the radio, I have to have a sign off.

[Dan]

I see. No, it's not just the radio. I assume it's gotta be. Yeah, I think when Alex says he's a character, I think that's true. I think he's probably a fucking character. And he's a lot to deal with.

[Jordan]

You don't say it literally every time unless there's something about it. That Barney, he's a real character, isn't he?

[Dan]

But I also think, like, that's a pleasant character for the most part. He's an old man who's a little bit annoying, who likes to tell, like, little poems.

[Jordan]

Yeah, I've met that guy so many times. Fairly benign. Sure, there's an annoyance there. But you know what? Sometimes it hits the spot. It's almost like a little nostalgia burst. You're like, you do it, old man. You fucking keep it going.

[Dan]

Yeah. And he fought in World War II. He's still got a little spark of life in him that he wants to entertain people. Come on. Let the man be.

[Jordan]

If that's. That should be our only true, like, law in this country. I'm against all laws except for one. If you fought in a war, you get to do limericks.

[Dan]

No, no, it's got to be a specific kind of war. It's got, like, World War II is. Is a war that I think we can all look back on as, like, it's defensible.

[Jordan]

The last good limerick war.

[Dan]

The last war that justifies limericks.

[Jordan]

Right. Gotcha. You can't do limericks if you went to Vietnam. Let's just get that out of the way. Nobody can do limericks for Vietnam.

[Dan]

No. And if you're about to go to Venezuela, you can't do limericks.

[Jordan]

Not anymore.

[Dan]

No. So Marty comes back with the heat and this. Actually, I found this one a little confusing.

[Jordan]

Okay.

[Alex Jones]

And I was really excited to hear that your phones melted off the walls for three days last time we had you on. I wish we had that type of response here with my videos.

[Marty Schacter]

We were going crazy here the People kept calling. They want soap. They don't want detergents. They don't want to be ripped off in the marketplace with all these poisons. And this is what we're there to help you. There's nothing, nothing what we offer any marketplace anywhere. This is something we are proud of. I'd like to close with a limerick.

[Alex Jones]

Sure, go ahead.

[Marty Schacter]

There was a young monk from Siberia whose life grew dreary and dreary. So a night with a yell, he escaped from his cell and eloped with a Mother Superior.

[Alex Jones]

Thank you, Marty. Always good to talk to you, Alex.

[Marty Schacter]

Talk to you soon.

[Alex Jones]

You better take care.

[Dan]

Okay. So there's a monk in Siberia.

[Jordan]

Yep.

[Dan]

Whose life sucks.

[Jordan]

Yep.

[Dan]

And Siberia, he runs away with Mother Superior.

[Jordan]

I think there's a lot of problems I have. First off, I am strongly against slant rhymes. I don't know if this has been made clear in our. In our 1100 odd episodes, but slant rhymes are, I think, a cruel joke that terrible writers play on the rest of us. And two, what. What kind of monastery is he at?

[Dan]

That's what I was struggling with, because I feel like we hear monk in Siberia. I'm thinking a Buddhist monk, maybe. I'm thinking maybe in the mountains. You know, I am. I'm definitely not thinking somewhere close to a nunnery or where Mother Superior would be.

[Jordan]

Well, I mean, you could go with, like, a Russian Orthodox monk, sure.

[Dan]

But is a monastery connected to a nunnery?

[Jordan]

Not that I'm aware of, but who knows? You know, some people have. Some people have, like, little separate areas. I have no idea.

[Dan]

Yeah, maybe. Maybe this is. Maybe there's a wisdom to this limerick that's beyond the credit that we're giving it.

[Jordan]

Maybe there's something deeper here within this limerick. And actually, this was set by a man who is trying to escape from Siberia.

[Dan]

Maybe it's Marty taking the piss out of religion.

[Jordan]

That's possible.

[Dan]

You commit yourself to religion and you're a monk and, oh, God, your life sucks. It's awful. But you know what? Go run away with this lady.

[Jordan]

I posit this to you. I posit this to you. This man is the least interesting character in this entire story. All right. What is the Mother Superior's internal life like, where she has made it all the way up to Mother Superior at a monastery, clearly male, controlled.

[Dan]

Sure.

[Jordan]

Right. And then she has been seduced. Or did she seduce this man who is lazy and bored?

[Dan]

It's hard to say. But the implication, I think, from listening to it is, clearly, she wasn't kidnapped. They alone no, she was not. There was a choice that she made to go away with the Monk.

[Jordan]

We can assume there was a loving relationship at the end of this limerick.

[Marty Schacter]

Yes.

[Dan]

And his life was less drearier once he left Siberia.

[Jordan]

You know what's crazy? I fucking. I was vibing with Schechter's belief in soap. I felt that that was a true man who was proud of his goddamn soap. The people, they want soap, they don't want detergent. That was, that was heartfelt.

[Dan]

Yeah, you'll hear that a lot from him if you listen to his interviews. He is the people deeply passionate about. Well, first of all, hating detergent. And then just like this, like he is a fucking soap guy. Like he's not trying to branch out into other things. It's. It's kind of refreshing in some way. Like this.

[Jordan]

Soap man through and through.

[Dan]

Yeah. Yep. So this next one is the first time we get a little bit of.

[Jordan]

A little cheeky, a little saucy limerick.

[Dan]

Uh huh.

[Marty Schacter]

And we've been doing this, and this is our year, the 60th year of getting soap back into the home again and saying to Proctor, Lever and Colgate, I don't need you anymore.

[Alex Jones]

That's right. You guys started in 1947.

[Dan]

So.

[Alex Jones]

So you're now celebrating your 60th birthday year.

[Marty Schacter]

And our slogan here is our business is going down the drain.

[Alex Jones]

All right, Marty. Calvinpiersoub.com or five star soap.com or 1-800-340791 thanks for coming on, Marty, and we'll talk to you again.

[Marty Schacter]

I'd like to leave a thought for today. The thought for today is sex on television is not harmful unless you fall off.

[Alex Jones]

Take care, my friend.

[Marty Schacter]

Thank you, Alex.

[Dan]

All right.

[Alex Jones]

Good to talk to Marty. What a character.

[Dan]

What a character.

[Jordan]

Isn't that a Woody Allen joke?

[Dan]

Yeah, probably.

[Jordan]

I think I want to say that's a Woody Allen joke. That was in his. That was in his. Like, sex between two people is amazing. So provided it's the right two people. That one.

[Dan]

Yeah. I'm sure it's in a. It's in 100 books of jokes. Sure. Yeah. Oh no. Oh no.

[Jordan]

Marty Schachter, that Marty Schaxter supports Woody out. That's what I want to be clear on this. This is, this is my end now. This is why I don't like him. Because his folksy attitude and his love of soap win me over very quickly.

[Dan]

But his ripping off of Woody Allen makes you suspicious.

[Jordan]

Of course. Of course. Please don't tell me he's adopted me.

[Dan]

2007, 2008. It was a different time. People didn't know about Woody Allen's tough. But like, I think that's a little ribbled. I think that's a little. A little. Alex is probably feeling a little bit. Oh, the homeschooled kids listening.

[Jordan]

Well, I hope his next joke isn't from Roman Polanski.

[Dan]

It is not, but it is. It's from a famous figure. Okay, this is attributed to Abraham Lincoln. I don't think Abraham Lincoln said this.

[Alex Jones]

Okay, Marty, we'll talk to you soon and give us your limerick.

[Marty Schacter]

This is from 1870. Attributed to Abraham Lincoln. I'm not sure if it's so, but some say it is attributed. It goes like this. Drinking beer from a tomato can will never kill a man. Drinking beer won't kill a man, but an old tomato can.

[Alex Jones]

Take care, Marty.

[Marty Schacter]

Thank you, Alex.

[Alex Jones]

You bet. What a character, folks.

[Dan]

You take care. What a character. What a character. Yep.

[Jordan]

When Lincoln have said this.

[Dan]

Gettysburg.

[Jordan]

Hey, guys. Hey, real quick. Before I start the main speech, can I do a little warm up for everybody? I got some bits and then I'll get into the four score. You know what I'm saying?

[Dan]

But four score and 20 tomato cans.

[Jordan]

I just want to open with a. I got some hot new tomato can material.

[Dan]

You can drink beer out of a tomato can. Be. Won't kill a man, but a tomato can.

[Marty Schacter]

We.

[Jordan]

We don't drink beer out of tomato cans. Shut up. I'll do my brain speech later. God damn it.

[Dan]

That's it. I'm freeing the slaves.

[Jordan]

That's it there. Everybody's free.

[Dan]

Everybody's free.

[Jordan]

Do you like that?

[Dan]

It's Civil War. It's Civil War time. You don't like my tomato limerick?

[Marty Schacter]

Was.

[Jordan]

It was the tomato can. The one that did it was at the end.

[Dan]

It could have been. So that's. That is weird. That's a weird one.

[Jordan]

Yep. Yep. That doesn't make any sense to me. I recognize that there. It's a play on the number of times you could put. And in there.

[Marty Schacter]

No.

[Dan]

Yeah. No, it makes sense grammatically. And an old tomato can kill you. That's. That's true. But beer can kill you, too. And so can drinking out of an old can. You get tetanus or, you know, something like. So all of that stuff could kill you.

[Marty Schacter]

Here's.

[Jordan]

Here's what the problem is, right? I. We live in the. In the post Lincoln times. So once you say old drink beer from an old tomato can, I'm like, that's Botulism. Sir, please do not tell me any more of this joke. You need to go to the hospital as soon as possible.

[Dan]

Yeah, you guys didn't even understand canning back then. You didn't, like, boil the right jars and.

[Jordan]

Come on, man, start.

[Dan]

Yeah, so that one, I think, makes total sense, but is kind of dumb. But the next time that he's on, Marty's got a little limerick, of course. And then Alex asks for clarification. What was that Lincoln one about?

[Alex Jones]

Marty, thank you for spending time with us again today.

[Marty Schacter]

Thank you. I've just got a poem for you.

[Alex Jones]

I always love to hear him.

[Marty Schacter]

I'm dedicating this to my hero, Alex Jones. Bees. A busy little soul. He has no time for birth control. That is why in times like these, we have so many sons of bees.

[Alex Jones]

Now, last week, or, excuse me, last month when you were on with us, I didn't get the limerick or the pun or the joke about potato or tomato cans and Lincoln, none of us understood that. Can you break that down for us?

[Marty Schacter]

From the 1800s, they think it's from one of the stories of Abraham Lincoln at that time. And it just goes like, drinking beer from a tomato can never kill a man. Drinking beer won't kill a man. But an ultimatum can.

[Alex Jones]

All right, now I get it, Marty.

[Dan]

Now you get it.

[Jordan]

How does that make it more clear?

[Dan]

He just said it again.

[Jordan]

All right. Oh, now I get it. A tomato. Did he actually not understand the, like, removal of an additional word and how the tomato can is a double entendre for the can?

[Dan]

He said that no one around here got it. So that implies that everyone at Infowars, they were, like, talking to each other. Like, Marty's usually like, he makes a lot of sense, but what the fuck was up with that tomato thing?

[Jordan]

And not just that, but they were also talking about Lincoln while they were doing it. They were like, how did Lincoln involve himself within this tomato can bin?

[Dan]

It's attributed to our great former president. So you brought the B1 back.

[Jordan]

Oh, man. I know. So the last one, he said, oh, go ahead, Marty, give us your poem. So he already knew that Marty was planning on giving a poem. So I think we've established now that every time we see martyr, shit's going down.

[Dan]

Yeah. By this point, Alex has become resigned to his fate. I think that, like, this guy is just gonna do a poem, and it's unfortunate when one of them is one he's done many times before. But, you know, it's hard to get sponsors.

[Jordan]

Not everybody listens to the show every single day. Not everybody is listening at every Marty appearance. So it's brand new to somebody.

[Dan]

Mm.

[Jordan]

That's live radio.

[Dan]

Sure. It's like Must see tv. It's new to you if you didn't see it. Reruns.

[Jordan]

Absolutely.

[Dan]

So you were asking earlier about, like the idea if. If Marty is like this because he's on air or if he's always like this.

[Jordan]

Yes.

[Dan]

And I think he's always like this because he is. He's trying to evolve the bit. Like he's. He's gone from like, I'm doing. I'm doing the same limerick. I'm doing a little bit more limericks I'm doing. I'm now demanding that I end with a limerick. And at a certain point, he introduces sound effects.

[Alex Jones]

And Marty, I heard you wrote us a poem. I'm touched.

[Marty Schacter]

Yes, I did. Are you ready?

[Alex Jones]

Yes.

[Marty Schacter]

Jones keeps on flowing with info that is growing, so you've earned this short poem. No like it. You don't know him. Alex, your bliss itself, you win. You touch all bases. If you were packaged on a shelf, I buy 12 dozen cases. Your rating is quadruple A at Genesis. You're the most business wise. I've got to say, you are my favorite host.

[Alex Jones]

You're a sweetheart, Marty. Marty. Marty's now doing sound effects for us. Hey, Marty, how'd you make that sound effect?

[Marty Schacter]

I got all these people here. I got 2,000 people standing here listening.

[Alex Jones]

To me listen, you're a sweetheart, Marty. Always love talking to you. And take care of my friend.

[Marty Schacter]

Talk to you soon.

[Dan]

Thank you.

[Alex Jones]

Take care. I tell you, that's a sweet old man right there, folks.

[Dan]

That is a sweet old man.

[Jordan]

Here's what I love about that. I love, I love whenever you can audibly hear somebody go, no point in keeping this going. Whatever. He's like, hey, how did you do that sound effect? And Marty gives that explanation. He's like, hey, great to see you. No follow ups. I don't want any more. There's no way that continuing this line of thought is going to end well for me. So we're done.

[Dan]

But meanwhile, you can also feel Marty want to continue to play because he's like, oh, I've got this huge crowd here. There's 2,000 people watching me.

[Jordan]

Yeah, let's mix it up, buddy. How do you feel about this crowd over here?

[Dan]

He's ambitious. Like, he is a guy who's like, I fucking love soap. I've made this soap company, but I am now allowed to be on a radio show. I am going to live my dream. I'm gonna make the most of it. I'm gonna fuck around.

[Jordan]

Yep. It is hard not to believe that Marty truly lives in a completely different world. That the rest of us. And like all of the. All of the stuff that normally bothers people just bounces off because this man cares about soap and limericks. And that's it. The end.

[Dan]

And annoying Alex as part of a financial agreement.

[Jordan]

I love. I love the confidence. Because that's not a poem that he found somewhere else. No, that's not a limerick. That's not a structured poem. That is a free form. I'll rhyme if I want to or I won't. The meters, what I say it is or it's not. The length of the stanza is however long he wrote it, he said it out loud.

[Dan]

And I think there's a real, like, brilliance to it and that he knew that, like, this is talking about how great Alex is. I think he's. I think he's going to let me roll. I think I can do it.

[Jordan]

Yeah. You're going to have a much more positive reception to your poems if one of them, or the possibility of one of them is. Alex is great. Alex is great. Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex is great.

[Dan]

Yeah. So I think he had a real triumph there. And unfortunately, this leads him to. Much like Icarus Fly Too Close to the sun. Because he decides. Marty decides that Alex's show needs a little bit of culture. There's not. He needs to class this place up good. And so instead of a limerick one day he decides he's going to do a scene from Hamlet.

[Marty Schacter]

We are so appreciative of that. It just makes our day and our week.

[Alex Jones]

Marty, go ahead and get into your. Your Hamlet. And then we'll tell folks about the.

[Marty Schacter]

So I thought your show could use a little culture. So I want to offer a culture interlude. Up in the Colorado mountains, mile high above Denver, is a castle. Residing in the castle is His Majesty, King Bates, his beautiful wife, Queen Bates, his lovely daughter, Princess Bates, and his teenage son. Master the king makes a proclamation and says, today is Monday and it's laundry day. He calls his stepson Hamlet and says, go to the market and secure a box of laundry detergents. Now, Hamlet doesn't always listen to the king. He is still pissed off because the king killed his father to marry his gorgeous mother. This is a real soap opera. So Hamlet goes up to his room, gets up on his pedestal. All castles have pedestals, by the way. And shouts, Act 2, Scene 1. He's a fan of Shakespeare and also the Alex Jones Show. Act two, scene one. He proclaims, to buy or not to buy. That is the question. Whether it is nobler in the home to suffer the perfumes and dyes of outrageous chemicals, or purchase pure soap against this sea of pollution and by this acquisition end them. To wash, to bathe much more and buy this real soap product. Say we end the falsehoods and the thousand unnatural corruptions that detergent is heir to. Tis a consummation devoutly to be secured. To buy pure soap, perchance to use. Ay, there's the suds. For in the pleasure of ownership what dreams may come when we have cleansed our mortal home must give us pause. There's the respect that makes living of so long life enjoyable. For must we bear the unrelented distaste of enzymes, the antibacterials, the bathtub stench, the pangs of extreme costs, the sodium chlorides, the insolence of detergents and the deodorants that patient merit of the unworthy takes, when he himself might as quiet as make with an all natural soap. Who would that bear this cost to grunt and sweat under a life of perfumes, but that the dread of this can change forever with the undiscovered wealth of the cal Ben Soap Co. No consumer can be without. What puzzles the will is what makes us rather bear those expensive chemicals we buy. Alex must talk to all others that know not of him. Thus ignorance does make cowards of us all. And thus the Cal Ben hue of resolution is strengthened over with great soaps design and enterprises of great quality and truth. With this regard, their sails of current turn upward and gain the name of action. Buy soap now. Oh fair, oh strong. O Jones nymphs and thy orisons be all my ads flow through thee.

[Alex Jones]

Yay.

[Marty Schacter]

Oh, my gosh.

[Alex Jones]

We have an applause for you.

[Dan]

Hear that?

[Alex Jones]

Oh, hold on. Oh, they want to applaud again. Here it is for you, Marty. Another applause. There we go.

[Marty Schacter]

What is happening? Marty?

[Alex Jones]

I don't think they're have Calvin Pure soap in the FEMA camp.

[Marty Schacter]

Pardon?

[Alex Jones]

Oh, it's just. Have you heard that Cheney has now announced himself above even executive orders and his own laws that he's been.

[Marty Schacter]

Oh, is this new? I haven't heard that.

[Dan]

Is that new?

[Jordan]

Okay, I put this to you. As you know, I have a weird feeling for power imbalances. That was Alex demanding dominance back over.

[Dan]

His show 1 million percent. He's like, I've got an applause clip. I've got a better applause Clip. That I'm going to play for your old ass. Except it goes so fucking long. And Marty still has his own applause clip. They have.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Yes, totally. That is a dominance play.

[Jordan]

That was amazing. That was amazing. At no point in time was I ever convinced he was going to do the whole thing. And he still did it. He did it.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Amazing.

[Dan]

I had. I mean, I'd heard it before and I still was shocked every moment that it kept going. And every time I looked at the progress bar, I was like, two minutes left. Wow. This is a lot.

[Jordan]

I'll tell you this. That is a man who appreciates and has participated in local theater.

[Dan]

Yes. Maybe In World War II he was doing theater for the troops. Maybe that's what he was doing.

[Jordan]

God damn it. And he did the whole thing about. He really just put the soap guy. That guy loves soap more than love. If you killed his father, that would be less offensive than if you fucked with soap instead of detergent or. You know what I mean?

[Dan]

He loves soap and performing. Like, it's so like he. He's just a little. He's just a little guy who loves the spotlight. He can't get enough of this. I'm gonna write a five minute retelling of Hamlet that's about soap.

[Jordan]

And I'm gonna deliver it. And I'm not going to just deliver it. I'm gonna act it and I'm gonna act it hard. I'm gonna hit my. I'm gonna hit my meter. I'm gonna hit my fucking stanza breaks. I'm gonna go for each little spot and at every point in time people will know I hate detergent and I love soap.

[Dan]

And look, there's a part of me that feels like the line between this and like pretty fucking good alternative comedy in 2007, 2008. Not very. It's not very. It's pretty close.

[Jordan]

Right on, right on.

[Dan]

If we're somebody doing a character on Alex's show, like, it's hilarious.

[Jordan]

Yep, 100%.

[Dan]

It's a sweet old man though, which makes it.

[Jordan]

Which makes it weirdly, like endearing. I would love for it to be an underground hard edged comic who's doing a bit and who's really taking the piss out of Alex. That it's an old man who truly loves local theater. Takes it. Makes me feel weird.

[Dan]

So he does a couple more really long Hamlet, like Shakespeare, he does a Caesar one. And I just don't have the energy to listen to another five minute thing. But it's pretty much the same thing. It's very. It's very similar. He does. He does a few of these.

[Jordan]

Doing one of those is more like extortion than advertising. That is too long. That is. That is like forcing somebody to be there against their will for too long.

[Dan]

And I think it pissed Alex off. I think that there was probably a point where it came to be like, we're doing a show here. You can't just. You can't do a monologue. You can do. You can do a limerick, but you can't do a monologue. Yeah. So everything comes back to more reasonable length.

[Alex Jones]

Give me a limerick. We only got 30 seconds.

[Marty Schacter]

Okay, then let me give you the limerick for today. We got the limerick going. All right. I want you to write this down because it's important for your family.

[Dan]

All right.

[Marty Schacter]

There once was an egg named Mabel who tried to stand but wasn't able. But our problem, you see, was solved. 1, 2, 3. If you first sprinkle salt on the table.

[Alex Jones]

1-800-340-70915 starsoap.com Marty, you are a character.

[Jordan]

We love you.

[Alex Jones]

God bless.

[Dan]

So sure. The egg on the table need salt.

[Jordan]

Sure.

[Dan]

All right, man.

[Jordan]

That's fine.

[Dan]

Sure. It is what it is. But I started thinking about it maybe because I was bored with that limerick in particular. I was like, his phone always seems to ring at certain times. He's already shown himself to be capable of sound effects. I think that's a sound effect.

[Jordan]

I pointed. I pointed at you so hard because I had that same thought when that phone rang. I was like, that sounds fake. It's fake as shit. There is no way this man is doing that fucking Hamlet speech and is also this busy.

[Dan]

It's very tough to imagine. And it seems the phone does seem to ring at kind of opportune times.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Dan]

So I think maybe it's all fake and maybe maybe this is some kind of, like, real avant garde art project.

[Jordan]

I would give anything to find out that that man does not sell soap. I would give anything to find out that there's no soap company. And he may be just like an eccentric billionaire who's living out some sort of weird role playing fantasy that's been going on for a long time. That would be amazing.

[Dan]

Yeah. He's just a lonely guy with disposable income who knows Ted Anderson and tricked Alex into thinking he has a soap company.

[Jordan]

Yeah. And it's just for him.

[Dan]

Or it's some guy who hangs out at Largo doing a bit that never paid off. Like it never got revealed.

[Jordan]

Yep. Oh, Man, I just had the thought of somebody being having, like, a brilliant bit like this that is playing out in the background of everybody. And there's a moment where it's going to be revealed and everybody's gonna go apeshit. But then they died first. And so then there's just this historical missing bit that's out there that we'll maybe never find. God, that's so sad. That breaks my heart.

[Dan]

Well, that could be what we're uncovering. And we get all the credit. So Alex's show, obviously, in the present day, deeply religious. Deeply. But at the time, just kind of religious, you know, in the late 2000s, not.

[Jordan]

So these can be on birth control.

[Dan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we can do a limerick about Satan.

[Alex Jones]

As always, Marty, it's great having you on. Give us a limerick.

[Marty Schacter]

Okay. This is way, way. This is my most favorite limerick. Very, very old. God's plan made a hopeful beginning, but man spoiled his chances by sinning. We trust that the story will end in God's glory, but at present, the other side's winning.

[Alex Jones]

Marty. Or something else.

[Jordan]

Oh, boy.

[Dan]

The devil is winning. His favorite limerick is about how the devil's winning.

[Jordan]

Oh, God, I. I love that. Alex totally expected there to be more to that. He was clearly like, well, it doesn't end there. It doesn't end there. Right. God wins in the end.

[Dan]

There's got to be some assurance of God's victory. No.

[Jordan]

Right?

[Dan]

No, we think that, but the devil's fucking winning.

[Jordan]

Hopefully it all ends in God's glory. But it turns out the rhyme requires the devil to be winning. Right.

[Dan]

Now, unfortunately, shit looks bad right now.

[Jordan]

Sorry. The limerick rules apply.

[Dan]

Yeah. So this is what I feel marks the departure for. For Marty. You know, we've had the. The era of testing the waters. We've had the era of Shakespearean monologues. And now he has declared that the devil is winning the battle of good and evil. And I think he's just going to lean into it and start being a little bit dirty.

[Alex Jones]

Marty, it's always wonderful having you on with us. Give us a limerick.

[Marty Schacter]

This is a very old one. An accident, really uncanny, occurred to my elderly granny. She sat down in a chair while her false teeth lie there and bit herself right in the fanny.

[Alex Jones]

5Starsoap.Com 1-800-340-7091 at least get the sample. Tote bag.

[Dan]

At least get the tote bag. Guys, come on. So that's dirty, but it's at least a little. It's public domain dirty. You know, like in the uk, maybe Fanny. That kind of language wouldn't fly. But here.

[Jordan]

Well, that one actually goes back to Lincoln. It was Lincoln who said that one. So we know that that was mainly butt related.

[Dan]

Yeah. False teeth bit the fanny. Chomp. Chomp. It's a little dirty. It's untoward. You're talking about butts.

[Jordan]

I just like that Alex had a genuine laugh after just the first two lines. My granny, like, ha ha. Look at that granny. She's probably gonna get hurt.

[Dan]

There's an accident that happens to an old person. We're cooking with gas.

[Jordan]

He was laughing in anticipation. What's gonna happen to Granny? I bet it's not good.

[Dan]

Well, he should know that. It's a poem. And what rhymes with granny? Fanny. He should. He should see this bus coming from a ways away. Yet he still seems a little bit caught off guard.

[Jordan]

He's very. I don't know if he's ever seen the punchline coming. I think Alex is a very strong. The punchline will always hit hard, and.

[Dan]

That makes him a good audience. So Marty is now emboldened, I think.

[Jordan]

Yes.

[Dan]

And he is full of just hubris to. To the point where I believe he is now doing bestiality related.

[Alex Jones]

Artie, give us a limerick.

[Marty Schacter]

Well, this. I heard this last week on the radio from a major San Francisco station owned by Disney, and I immediately wrote it down because I wanted to share with you. It starts like this. There was a young maiden named Myrtle who had an affair with a title with a swelling in her girdle. And her mother found out that Myrtle's turtle was fertile.

[Alex Jones]

Man, you're something else, Marty. We'll talk to you soon. Take care, my friend.

[Marty Schacter]

Thank you.

[Dan]

Says lady fucked a turtle.

[Jordan]

Yep.

[Dan]

What are we doing?

[Jordan]

Yep. We're going to have a sad human turtle hybrid with eyes. That's what's going to happen. This is where it all began, buddy.

[Dan]

What about the homeschooled children that are listening to this? This is no good. Alex can't be having this kind of content. This is. This is obscene.

[Jordan]

This is. This is the most 1940s World War II veteran that you can be. I heard this thing and I was like, I got to go write this down. I got to go write this down. There's no other way for me to hear a thing and then share it with you later. I got to go write it down. Amazing.

[Dan]

A Disney. A Disney radio station had this filthy fucking po about having sex with a turtle. I gotta write this down. I gotta tell Alex also.

[Jordan]

What a relationship that Obviously it's very one sided. It's very one sided. Alex is never out and about thinking, oh, I'll write that down and tell Marty later.

[Dan]

Yeah, he hears a good limerick, he's not gonna save it for. For his old buddy Marty.

[Jordan]

Marty is like going out, just getting people little gifts. I bet he goes out and he just stops out somewhere and he just goes, oh, this made me think of you. And he bought it and then he.

[Dan]

Gives it to you and it has nothing to do with you. And it's fucking gross.

[Jordan]

Yup. Absolutely. Yep. I'll throw it away immediately. You have purchased garbage for me, sir. Thank you.

[Dan]

So the trend continues a little bit. And there's a little bit. It's cheeky. There's some cheeky stuff going on.

[Alex Jones]

Got about 60 seconds. Give me a limerick.

[Marty Schacter]

A cute little babe from St. Paul wore a newspaper dress to a ball, but the dress caught on fire and burned her entire front page sporting section and all.

[Dan]

Oh, Marty, oh, Marty.

[Jordan]

Oh, Marty.

[Dan]

Sporting section, Marty.

[Jordan]

I'll tell you what. Disappointing. That one was real disappointing. Marty, oh, Marty. Oh, Marty.

[Dan]

Yeah, she had a newspaper dress and she burned her tits off.

[Jordan]

I think this. I think. Here's what happened. All right? First off of all of these liberals and poems up to this point, this is the first one that had the correct meter and had the upward inflection at the end of the second line, which is very important.

[Dan]

That's true.

[Jordan]

So it was going great. It was going great. Then the third line, short. Boom. Nailed it. Then the fourth line. No, he ended in the middle of the phrase. So now the whole thing is rude.

[Dan]

I'm.

[Jordan]

The whole thing is rude.

[Dan]

I'm less. I'm less tough on him from that standpoint. I think that it's high art to refer to someone's body parts as their sporting section on Alex's show. I think that that is. That's quite a swing. And Alex should not be thrilled with this. This should be like, you're a fucking gross man. I like that.

[Jordan]

Yeah. I mean, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? As far as horrible things that old men have said about women? Goes to me at least. This is way low on the list.

[Dan]

True, true. But there's homeschooled kids listening and Alex has a responsibility to teach them.

[Jordan]

Imagine if they go to school the next day and tell all of their classmates.

[Dan]

Oh, wait, now they can't. They could tell their mom.

[Jordan]

Yeah, that's probably not a good recipe.

[Dan]

No. So the next, next limerick we have is About a guy with a smelly ass.

[Alex Jones]

Yes.

[Marty Schacter]

There once was a man from Australia who painted his ass like a dahlia. The color was fine, likewise the design. But the aroma, oh, that was a failure.

[Alex Jones]

All right, Marty Schacter, always good to have you. Take care, buddy. We'll talk to you again next month.

[Marty Schacter]

Thank you, Alex.

[Dan]

So I don't think Alex is thrilled with this. The guy's ass stinks. All right.

[Jordan]

I like that. The content of the limerick seems very important to Alex as opposed to the. The turn or the. The concept of the joke being a thing. It's very much like, oh, Marty, this one's no good. Like, what are you doing?

[Dan]

And you get a feeling of like, lowering action. Like he's. He's starting. Like Alex is starting to feel like, oh, God.

[Jordan]

Yep.

[Dan]

Fucking sporting section lady fucked a turtle. This guy's ass smells. What are we doing?

[Jordan]

We're on the fourth layer of the pre taped call in show. That's where we're at right now. I swear to God, I told you, one more limerick.

[Dan]

So I have a theory that Alex had a little chat with Marty about these limericks and about how they're dirty and how this is a family show. There's homeschoolers listening and it's Alex's job to teach them. And so Marty comes back with what I would describe as a meta limerick. That is a limerick about his limericks and how they're clean.

[Marty Schacter]

Limerick for today is a limerick. Packs last anatomical into space. That is quite economical. But the good ones I've seen so seldom are clean and the clean ones so seldom are comical. For Alex, every line has been cleaned. Not a word that's profane or obscene or spelled in four letters that might pain our betters or snafu, if you know what we mean.

[Alex Jones]

All right, Marty, good heaven, you with us. We'll talk to you again soon.

[Dan]

That feels in response to something that feels like half of a conversation, where the first half is your limericks are dirty.

[Marty Schacter]

Yep.

[Dan]

And he's saying in limerick form, alex, all my shit's clean. I don't use four letter words. I am. This is all. I've been so clean for you.

[Jordan]

Yeah, it feels like this was a. I was brought into the principal's office and I heard what the principal had to say and the principal didn't listen to me. So I went home and I wrote a two stanza limerick. And when I tell the principal, they'll finally be on my side because the only way to fight fire with fire is with limericks.

[Dan]

And instead, the principal is even more fucking annoyed.

[Jordan]

Of course it's twice as long. It's twice as long. You could have done half of that and it would have been better. Instead, you did, too. You could have just left the first one. The implied response to mine. You didn't have to make it an echo. Extemporaneous text. Jesus Christ.

[Dan]

Yeah. So Marty's time is short after this. I think that the difference of opinion between them about whether or not limericks are dirty or not, they just can't bridge that gap. No amount of shared soap love, or advertising dollars is going to work. And so we have one last limerick from our friend Marty.

[Alex Jones]

All right, Marty, again, it's five star sub.com and give us today's limerick.

[Marty Schacter]

A skydiving couple named Lord decided on sex while they sword. They got so excited while flying United, they never did pull the rip cord.

[Alex Jones]

Marty, that's a little racy. But that's your first racy one, so we'll let you get by with it. God bless you. We'll talk to you again soon.

[Marty Schacter]

Thank you.

[Dan]

Marty. Marty, little racy. Talking about on a plane. Yeah. I can't let you. Let you get away with that one, but.

[Jordan]

Oh, my God. Little racy. Little racy buddy. Actually saying sex. Sex out loud, people doing it.

[Dan]

Sex on a plane.

[Jordan]

That's racy.

[Dan]

What does it mean that they didn't pull the ripcord?

[Jordan]

It wasn't on a plane. They were skydiving. So they had jumped.

[Dan]

No.

[Jordan]

Out of the plane.

[Dan]

No, he said they were fucking on a United plane.

[Jordan]

No, no, no, no. They were United.

[Dan]

Ooh. Let's listen to it again.

[Jordan]

Go for it.

[Alex Jones]

All right, Marty, again, it's five star sub.com and give us today's limerick.

[Marty Schacter]

A skydiving couple named Lord decided on sex while they soared. They got so excited while flying United, they never did pull the rip cord.

[Alex Jones]

Marty, that's a little racy, but you're right.

[Dan]

You're right. Flying United is not flying on a United airplane. They were united as one. So they died. Yeah. Wow. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't get that. I thought they were just playing.

[Marty Schacter]

Yep.

[Dan]

Pulling the ripcord I thought was a metaphor. See, I thought it was like they didn't bust or something like that.

[Jordan]

Right, right, right, right, right.

[Dan]

But no, no, they're dead. They. They died because they did not pull their. Their chute because they were too distracted by the fucking that they knew they were gonna be doing while skydiving.

[Jordan]

I love. I love that the response to that is little racy, low racing. Of all the things that I could respond to that with, I feel like little racy isn't one of them.

[Dan]

Yeah, but it is a little racy.

[Jordan]

You know, I'm with you. I'm just saying that in terms of like, okay, if somebody just out and out says that to me, my first thought is, are you okay? Is there something. Is there something you need?

[Dan]

Right. What if this person is selling you soap? Then what? Are you still worried for their welfare?

[Jordan]

I mean, I guess. No. I guess that makes him the perfect man to sell soap. Really. Like if you were going to make a Willy Wonka, but for soap. I don't think that he. I mean, like a. A. A limerick guy would kind of fit.

[Dan]

Yes. Now, I just thought of a ad campaign, okay? So he's out there, he's talking about like, this lady fucked a turtle, then she was fertile and all this, like really gross limericks.

[Jordan]

Lot of turtle fucking.

[Dan]

Right? That's the. Before. Then he washes his mouth out with soap. Cal. Ben. Pure soap.

[Jordan]

Oh, love it.

[Dan]

And he's. He's doing, like, just very clean, family friendly limericks. We got. We got an ad campaign here you.

[Jordan]

Are just about to change your goddamn name to Dick Whitman, my friend, because you're a genius.

[Dan]

Yeah. Imagine soap. What is it? It cleans your mouth.

[Jordan]

That's so weird because I was. I was just reflecting earlier this morning, like, I had my mouth cleaned out with soap when I was a kid for swearing. And nobody was like, this is dumb, right? Everybody was like, no, it makes sense, see, because it's dirty language. So you clean it with soap. It makes perfect sense.

[Dan]

Yeah. I remember the first time that happened in my life. I did. I didn't know how to articulate it, but I was like, this is symbolic, right? Like, I didn't know how to say that as a kid, but there was a part of my brain that was like, I know this doesn't work. This isn't doing anything.

[Jordan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a. You're poisoning me as a punishment, right? That's what we're. That's what happened.

[Dan]

Soap tastes bad, right? That's what's happening. Okay, great, great. So Marty is gone. Marty. I don't know when he died. I don't know if he's still with us, but he stopped appearing on Alex's show in about 2010. And probably, I like to believe, absent any other information, it's because of the trajectory that we have laid out here today.

[Jordan]

Absolutely.

[Dan]

That absolutely he got too big for his britches, started doing legitimate small town theater on Alex's show. Got scolded, started getting dirty, and then Alex had enough of it.

[Jordan]

I, I truly, I truly believe in my heart of hearts, and I don't care what the truth is. In my heart of hearts. Alex loves money so much, but Schacter's Liberics were so bad that he had no choice but to go against everything that he believed in and say, I don't want your money. I hate your librics.

[Dan]

Well, I think, I think that's part of it. And then I think also, you know, we touched on when Alex brought in his own applause sound effect. He was trying to like, dominate. And I think that this probably is a space that's so silly, it's so whimsical. And Marty does have a sense of humor. Like, it's not great, but it's there.

[Jordan]

It's there.

[Dan]

And Alex can't. He can't entice, he can't get. He can't dance with it, and he can't dominate that space. Marty is a little, a little cherub running around that Alex can't understand. He can't figure out how to best Mr. Mixelplicks.

[Jordan]

I, you know what it is? He's got a segment. That's what's happened. Somehow Schecter has just forced his way into being like, well, this is the Schecter 5. We're going to give Schecter 5 minutes every time he comes on. And that's not, that's not how this goes. You sponsor the show and then you get the fuck out. You don't get your own little, like, here's what, here's what I'm challenged about today.

[Dan]

And I will yell about how great your soap is. We'll do everything we can to sell your soap. But yeah, you don't get your, your own corner. Because I think that once somebody can do that, people will stop liking Alex as much because they'll realize there's something more fun to listen to.

[Jordan]

Look at this silly old man.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Why don't you give. Here's the problem though, right? Is then the next step is why don't you give him some more time? We love silly old man.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Then out of nowhere, now you've got 20 minutes devoted to Schachter's Liberies. Every, every damn episode.

[Dan]

And then Alex is just sponsoring the Schachter Power Hour and the poetry slam with Schachter. Alex tries to write his own limericks. To get in.

[Jordan]

Oh, my God. I would love to see a dueling limericks between Alex and Marty Schacter.

[Dan]

I don't think he has. It's such a low standard of creativity, and yet I think Alex doesn't clear that bar.

[Alex Jones]

Yeah.

[Jordan]

Yeah. I feel like you should be able to bang out at least one limerick in a day. You know, just spend some time on it. Get. Get three, four hours set aside, and then you can bang out a solid limerick. I feel like that's.

[Dan]

What was that? Kanye? Like, seven beats a day for three summers. That. But limericks.

[Jordan]

Yes, exactly that. But limericks.

[Dan]

So, yeah, I wanted to do this partially because, like, you know, like I said, I wanted to give you a light day at the office, but also, like, I've done some interviews and people have asked me, like, what do I want people to know about Alex Jones? And it's such a nebulous question. It's such a. Like, yeah, there's a lot of things that I'd like people to know, like, he is a racist and that kind of shit. But there's something about this that is what I want people to know about Alex. He's a fucking clown. He is the kind of person who is doing a show about how the globalists are going to round everyone up in FEMA camps and take over the world and poison the vaccines and all this. And the only way he can make money doing it is if an old dude tells dirty limericks on his show. Like, that's. That's who he is at his. At his heart. And so I. Like, I. It's a. It's a hard. It's a hard thing to put into words. Precisely. But if you get Shakter, you get everything.

[Jordan]

Yeah, there is. There's an element of when other people see him because he has got so many decades of effort put into this glitz, this show, this illusion around him that it is very hard for people to see the truth, which is that this is a man fighting for dominance with the soap limerick guy and losing. Losing. Not even close.

[Dan]

Yeah. And I think that's important. That's an important image that people keep in their mind.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Dan]

So we are gonna be off in Portland in the near future. So I think. I'm not sure when our next episode is going to come out.

[Jordan]

Immediate future. We'll be off in Portland in the immediate future.

[Dan]

Yes.

[Jordan]

Very shortly from now.

[Dan]

We are doing a show on Friday there. Yes. So I don't think we're going to have a Friday episode.

[Jordan]

Right. But we're also doing a show on Thursday.

[Dan]

Yeah, but we might be back on Monday. I would like, if possible, to put the Thursday show out on Monday, but I'm not sure, logistically, if we'll be able to pull that off. So we might be back next week. Who knows? We'll be back.

[Jordan]

You know, we'll be. Obviously. Listen, we're not going to run out now. Yeah, we're at 1100 odd. We'll be back.

[Dan]

Yeah, I'm just. I'm just trying to warn people that it might not be on Friday. We might, you know.

[Jordan]

Hey, it might be tough to get one out on Friday.

[Dan]

Yeah, but we'll see. But whenever it is, I'll write a limerick for y' all and it'll be a lot of fun. But, hey, Jordan, what fun. We'll be back.

[Jordan]

A delight. A delight.

[Dan]

But until then, we have a website.

[Jordan]

Indeed we do. It's knowledgefight. Com.

[Dan]

Yep. We'll be back. But until then. I'm Neo. I'm Leo. I'm DZX Clark. I am the mysterious Professor.