From Near Death at 19 to Summiting Everest with Ryan Rivard | Kreatures of Habit

Summary

Podcast Summary: From Near Death at 19 to Summiting Everest with Ryan Rivard | Kreatures of Habit

Podcast: Kreatures Of Habit Podcast
Host: Michael Chernow
Guest: Ryan Rivard
Date: June 3, 2026

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Overview

This episode features Ryan Rivard, an entrepreneur, coach, and passionate advocate for recovery, who tells the gripping story of his journey from nearly dying of substance abuse at 19 to summiting Mount Everest decades later. With host Michael Chernow, Ryan reflects on the habits, mindset, and spiritual beliefs that fueled his transformation, the intense mental and physical demands of Everest, and the sustaining power of sobriety, family, and purposeful living. The conversation is honest, raw, and inspiring, offering hard-won wisdom for anyone facing difficulties—whether in addiction, relationships, or personal growth.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Near Death Experience and Turning Point

• The Overdose at 19
  • Ryan recounts a pivotal overdose, describing leaving his body and almost dying:

    "Everything went black except for this, like, flickering light that I could see in the distance. And all I could hear was my heart stopping, slowly stopping... Eventually, then I gasped for air, and I woke up." (00:00)

  • This experience marked the turning point that launched his recovery journey.

2. Everest: The Ultimate Test

• Why Climb Everest?
  • Ryan wanted to demonstrate that, with sobriety and belief, one can rise from the lowest points in life to the pinnacle of achievement:

    "Everest is far more of a mental challenge than it is a physical challenge... I wanted to show people that you could come from the bottom and you can go and stand on the top of the world." (00:28, 07:25)

• The Summit Experience
  • The climb was not just physical but emotional and selfless, as Ryan and his Sherpa spent significant time helping another climber in distress:

    "Truthfully, we were—my Sherp and I were saving the life of another gentleman...when we got to summit, we were there for, like, 45 minutes...trying to get him adjusted with a new oxygen tank." (01:35-02:06)

  • Despite fatigue, lack of sleep, freezing cold, and hallucinations, Ryan was driven by his promise to family and memories of why he began:

    "I remembered Nim's words in my mind and my wife's and the promise that I made that I wasn't going to sleep at Camp 4, which is the death zone..." (03:53)

3. The Role of Sobriety

• 23 Years Sober: Lessons Learned
  • Ryan shares the greatest revelation from long-term recovery:

    "No matter how difficult life seems in the moment, everything is temporary. This life is temporary. The emotion is temporary. The pain is temporary. And all you have to do is allow yourself to feel that moment and keep pushing past it and never give up." (09:28)

• Mental Shifts in Recovery
  • Sobriety provided the foundation to build a family, career, and achieve extraordinary feats. Both host and guest draw clear lines connecting personal and professional success with their commitment to staying sober.

4. Identity, Redemption, and Purpose

• From Homelessness to Service
  • Ryan recalls being homeless, living out of cars and motels, and now finds purpose in coaching, nonprofit work, and helping others:

    "I wanted to show people that you could come from the bottom, bottom, and you can go and stand on the top of the world. There are no ceilings in life..." (07:25)

• Giving Back and Joy
  • He finds his greatest joy not in career or summits, but in service—helping other addicts, mentoring others, and spending time with family:

    "I think I find the most joy in doing these community kind of events that we do through the nonprofit...Those are the things that I really enjoy." (33:00)

5. Spirituality and Faith

• God and Higher Power
  • Ryan describes the constant presence of faith in his journey, especially on Everest:

    "When I was on Everest, I was probably talking to him every 15 seconds. Just said, hey, you know, a couple more steps, just get me through this." (17:19)

  • He’s learned to see God’s timing in both blessings and setbacks, like a knee injury that delayed his Everest climb, ultimately saving his life:

    "In 2023...I tore my knee in hockey...I was pretty discouraged...In 2023, there were more deaths in that year than like the 10 years prior. And so God was taking me out of that circumstance and protecting me..." (17:19-18:42)

  • Faith is expressed daily through gratitude practices:

    "Getting up in the morning and hey, I'm alive today, I'm sober today..." (19:54)

6. Habits, Routines & Family Integration

• Habits That Changed His Life
  • Recovery, exercise, and gratitude are at the core of his routine.
• Family and Communication
  • Emphasis on intentionality and integrating family into business and life:

    "What we try to do is go for a walk...just talk about whatever’s going on...I want to make sure that I’m involving my family in those aspects..." (28:57, 31:15)

  • Both Michael and Ryan share how deliberate, small routines—like sitting together after dinner or family walks—deepen connection and reduce surprises.

7. Honest Stories from Addiction

• Active Addiction—the Dark Side

  • Ryan candidly shares stories to underscore how far he’s come:

    "Everything that I did was a lie...I was always intoxicated from the moment I got up in the morning to the moment I went to bed...driving down in the west side of Chicago to get dope..." (36:52)

  • The overdose at 19 (see opening quote) is recounted in full detail later as his ultimate wake-up call (39:00-41:24).

• Michael's Story

  • Michael adds his own experience as an addict and dealer, highlighting that real transformation is possible for anyone:

    "I got sober at 23, but I didn’t stop selling drugs...and then I met this angel, my wife..." (44:25)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Everest and Service:

  "I felt like you were touching heaven at that point...There’s another part of you that...a lot of people don’t think about: [the summit is] only halfway there to the full journey...So I soaked it in...and we started to make our way back." (02:06)

• On Recovery:

  "My hardest days today sober were nothing compared to like the best days using. And I guarantee it will be something that you never regret, because...I don’t miss any of it either." (13:23-15:17)

• On Family:

  "As I move forward, that’s really what I want to do, because I want to bring all of the areas of my life that are the most meaningful into one place." (32:24)

• On Love and Partnership:

  "Relationships require work and dedication and intention...as long as you communicate about those things and you’re open about them, you know, you can find common ground and start to build something that's pretty fantastic." (22:45-25:55)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00 – Ryan’s near-death overdose at 19
• 01:13 – Summiting Everest and saving another climber
• 03:32 – Physical state in the death zone (Camp 4)
• 07:25 – Everest as mental challenge; rising from homelessness
• 09:28 – Greatest lesson from 23 years’ sobriety
• 13:23 – Message to someone struggling with addiction
• 17:19 – Role of God and faith in Ryan’s life
• 19:54 – Practicing gratitude as daily spiritual routine
• 21:47 – Secrets of Ryan’s 21-year marriage
• 28:57 – Family walks and intentional communication
• 31:15 – Integrating family into work and nonprofit
• 33:00 – Where Ryan finds joy: giving back, mentoring, and family
• 36:52-41:24 – Raw stories from active addiction, overdose
• 44:25 – Michael’s story of addiction, dealing, and meeting his wife

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Conclusion & Takeaways

This episode is a testament to the power of transformation, showing how rock bottom can be the launching pad for a life of meaning, connection, and achievement. Ryan’s journey is not just about recovery—it’s about intentional living, the strength of community and relationships, and the miracles that come from perseverance and belief. Whether you’re facing addiction, major life challenges, or just feeling stuck, the stories, habits, and mental strategies shared here remind us that “pain is temporary,” and a new chapter is always possible.

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Connect with Ryan Rivard

• Instagram: @theRyanRevard
• Coaching: thedodecmethod.com
• Nonprofit: letsfuelgrowth.org

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Transcript

[Ryan Revard]

Everything went black except for this, like, flickering light that I could see in the distance. And all I could hear was my heart stopping, slowly stopping. I looked at that light, and I realized it's not over yet. There's still something left. I start hearing this voice getting louder and louder. Eventually, then I gasped for air, and I woke up.

[Michael Chernow]

What propelled you to want to do that on Mount Everest?

[Ryan Revard]

In Everest is far more of a mental challenge than it is a physical challenge. There are things in my life that I had plans for that I wanted to accomplish or do or thought that was the goal. And every time that I have started to work towards that, being sober has allowed me to create a circumstance in my life that was so much better. And I wanted to show people that you could come from the bottom and you can go and stand on the

[Michael Chernow]

top of the wall.

[Ryan Revard]

An entrepreneur straight out of New York City. Michael Chernow. What's cracking?

[Michael Chernow]

So walk me through the feeling of when you realize you are on the top of the world on Mount Everest. The. The actual feeling when you hit when you summited Everest. What did that feel like?

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah, there were a lot of emotions going on. Truthfully, we were. My Sherp and I were saving the life of another gentleman. About an hour and a half into it or to the summit, he was struggling, and so we were carrying him up through the. The Hillary Steps with us. So when we got to summit, we were there for, like, 45 minutes.

[Michael Chernow]

And that's a long time.

[Ryan Revard]

Long time. Way longer than you're. You're really supposed to be up there. But we were trying to get him adjusted with a new oxygen tank. So there was a lot of things going on. There was. With the adrenaline hitting from. From that experience, there was this. Just this sense of awe and, like, the surreal, you know, looking out into the world. The sun was coming up earlier as we were passing it up, and just the view. I felt like you were touching heaven at that point. And. Yeah, and then there was also a big part of me, you know, just being proud of, carrying up the pictures of my family representing Hazelden in. In that experience for me and knowing that I had gotten to. To the summit. There's another part of you that also a lot of people don't think about is only halfway there to the full journey. And there's more people that die on the way down than actually on the way up. So there was another big part of me that was like, okay, I promised my family I was going to return home. So I soaked it in, took some nice photos. And video. And when we kind of collected ourselves and we started to make our way back.

[Michael Chernow]

How did you feel physically

[Ryan Revard]

leading up to Camp 4? Pretty fatigued and tired. I was going on three or four days without sleep. About a liter of water per every 12 hours, and not a lot of food, so, you know, maybe a protein bar here and there.

[Michael Chernow]

Shouldn't have the daily bars with you.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah, absolutely. And so I was. I was feeling pretty wrecked. And I have to admit, when I got to Camp 4, we were looking for a tent. There wasn't a tent for us at the time. There was a big storm going through, so we had to sit out in the cold for about an hour until we finally found a place to lay down. And we got in the tent, and the Sherpa said to us, hey, for me, he said, we're going to leave in an hour to go summit. And I was thinking to myself, like, I'm destroyed. I don't know if I can keep going. And maybe we just rest here for the night. And I remembered Nim's words in my. My mind and my wife's and the promise that I made that I wasn't going to sleep at Camp 4, which is the death zone. And in that camp, your body is literally decomposing. So the longer you're there, the less your brain functions, the less your body functions. The, um. So the risk is real. And I thought to myself, you know, let's just rest here for a bit, and you're gonna get a second win. Like, this is everything that you train for. Like, this is it, and you'll wake up in an hour, or you'll be ready to go in an hour, and you go. And I did that. And honestly, I felt that second wind and just that adrenaline rush again to get to the summit. I felt really great that day. And that last 12 hours getting up to summit was probably some of the best that I felt during the entire trip.

[Michael Chernow]

So was it 12 hours from Camp Four to Summit?

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah, about.

[Michael Chernow]

Wow.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

And like. And that is just what level of technicality is. Is that climb?

[Ryan Revard]

I mean, a lot of it is. It's just a steady slog. Right? I mean, you're at 45 to 60 degree angles. It's negative 40, you know, without the

[Michael Chernow]

wind chill at all times up there?

[Ryan Revard]

Pretty much, yeah. Everything freezes. So were you cold, like.

[Michael Chernow]

Or was your gear helping that? Or were you just. There's no kind of. No matter what you're wearing, you're going to be freezing cold.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah. I mean, most of the Time. There's a part of you that's cold, especially, you know, your socks get a little bit wet as you're walking through it. And so then your feet to get a little cold, your hands get a little cold, your face gets cold. And I think, again, the adrenaline kind of helps you push past that. The gear that you had, I had one of Nims's summit suits. Phenomenal. It worked really well. A couple layers of, you know, wool thermal wear.

[Michael Chernow]

So you.

[Ryan Revard]

You feel warm, but you take things for granted at that elevation, like needing oxygen to heat up the heat pack. Like, it doesn't activate. So you have to put it in your mask to be able to. To keep that going and light a stove for fire, to burn water or to make water. So, yeah, I mean, everything's cold. And I mean, again, you just. You kind of push through it. I mean, there were moments where I could take off my gloves for a quick second to maybe grab something or a photo or, you know, grab something from my pack. But most of the time, you try to keep everything covered.

[Michael Chernow]

What. What propelled you to want to do that?

[Ryan Revard]

I think there were a lot of things I really wanted to show myself after getting sober. You know, what else I was capable of, both mentally and physically. And Everest is far more of a mental challenge than it is a physical challenge. And I say that seriously because a lot of people, of course, know the physical aspects of climbing something like that, or at least can conceptualize it. But the mental aspect of just not giving up and seeing the things that you see and still having to keep pushing through that and to be able to compartmentalize, okay, how am I feeling versus how is this other person feeling versus, you know, what the weather is telling us? And put all those into place and then again, continue to keep moving, especially with the family and everything else. But there was a time in my life I lived out of my car. I lived out of cheap motels. I was homeless. And I wanted to show people that you could come from the bottom, bottom, and you can go and stand on the top of the world and that there are no ceilings in life, and you can really do anything if you've put your mind to it and you have the right team around you, and you really just. You believe in yourself, and you find people to believe in you as well. And that was the experience that I wanted to share with people.

[Michael Chernow]

You've been sober 23 years, and you, like me, got sober young. We were lucky. We were some of the lucky ones to really get sober young. You were 19. I was 23.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

When I got sober. If you had to boil it down. This is hard, but if you had to boil it down to one thing. What do you think you've learned from getting and staying sober for as long as you have?

[Ryan Revard]

It's a good question. No matter how difficult life seems in the moment, everything is temporary. This life is temporary. The emotion is temporary. The pain is temporary. And all you have to do is allow yourself to feel that moment and keep pushing past it and never give up. And if you do that, staying sober for 23 years, it's possible. Climbing Everest is possible. Having a family is possible. Anything is possible. And so, yeah, I think that's the biggest thing that I've learned from getting sober and staying sober.

[Michael Chernow]

You know, it's. It's not. When I hear that some human has achieved some unbelievable goal or has risen to the top of their career as an athlete or as a business person or as an endurance person, it's not ever surprising to me to hear that they're sober. It's just not. Right. Like, Matt Frazier. Right. Like, great example of a guy who doesn't ever really boast about his sobriety or talk about his sobriety necessarily, but the tattoo of the serenity prayer on his ribs. You know, I guess what I'm trying to say is that sobriety gives you this not false belief, but absolute belief that anything is possible and that you can do anything you actually put your mind to. Right.

[Ryan Revard]

I would totally agree with that.

[Michael Chernow]

So how have you applied that outside of Everest? Like, how have you applied that in other areas of your life?

[Ryan Revard]

Sure. I mean, I think, you know, from an early age, I was at Penn State playing hockey and going there for engineering and completely failing out of school and really in the heavy aspects of my use. So going back to college was terrifying for me. And I tried to fumble along in community college even after that, and I wasn't sober. And so it's still. It. It was difficult. So having the opportunity again to go back to school and be sober, I think that was the first test. And having the program that I had at Augsburg allowed me to kind of have that safe space to do it. But I took that application of, okay, I can get through these things, and started to get grounding in it and graduated in three years. And the last year, I did two years in one. I did night school, day school, weekend school, and everybody said, you're crazy. I said, okay. And I got a4.0 that year. So I think that that, again, just kind of reiterated Your point? And at one point I actually thought to myself about doing a, a study of the trajectory of people that, you know, get sober. Even the drug of choice that they have and how successful they become or can become once they put that out of their way.

[Michael Chernow]

So let's make them, let's, let's give a message to the person listening who sucks, who's struggling, who just does not believe what you're saying or what I've been my message for many years. Like, just tell them, tell them what, what, what the, what the possibilities are.

[Ryan Revard]

I mean, again, I think for anybody that's listening to this and they're doubting themselves or they're doubting the aspect of what life could look like if they just decided, hey, I'm going to give this up. Even if it was just for a day or a week. Know that there are things in my life that I had plans for that I wanted to accomplish or do or thought that was the goal. And every time that I have started to work towards that, being sober has allowed me to create a circumstance in my life that was so much better than I could even have dreamed of. And the opportunities that I've had to create a business, create a family, to stay and get into shape and do things like Everest were only possible because I allowed myself the opportunity to be sober. If I didn't get sober, probably like you, I wouldn't have lived very long at the time and anything is possible. There's no difference between me or necessarily you or, or the guy you know struggling right now with it and what their life could be like. Right? It's just not giving up on themselves. Finding some hope and help, whether it's through programs or meetings or whatever it is, or peers and just building that up slowly and slowly. And I guarantee you that life will unfold in a way that you have never dreamt of. And it will be so magical and you will look back on it and be like, man, my hardest days today sober were nothing compared to like the best days using. And I guarantee it will be something that you never regret, because I don't, I don't regret any of it. And I don't miss any of it either.

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[Michael Chernow]

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[Michael Chernow]

Back to the pod. How much of a role has God played in your life?

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah, I definitely believe in, in, in God and a higher power. When I was on Everest, I was probably talking to him every 15 seconds. Just said, hey, you know, a couple more steps, just get me through this. But there's things in my life that I can't explain. You know, even as simple as my children and just the magic that I get from them. There are aspects of my life that are challenging and continue to be challenging as we go through life. But I know that no matter what happens through it, there's something out there looking out for me. There has to be. Otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you. And God is. Is right there with me doing all of these things. And, you know, it's. It's funny. I. We joke sometimes about how, you know, when we are creating success, it's. It's me and we are, you know, watching these failures or these struggles. It's God. And interesting thing is it doesn't actually work like that. Right. It's God in both of those things. Right. And the lessons that I found in life where have been challenging to me have ended up being some of the biggest blessings. One perfect example of this is I was supposed to or had planned to go and do Everest in 2023 after the other two mountains. And in January, right before leaving on that trip, about three months into it, I tore my knee in hockey and I was pretty discouraged by that and felt like, okay, maybe this is life telling me I'm not supposed to do it. And I prayed about it and little by little things started happening to say, no, you are supposed to do it. It's just not right now. And I went back and then in 2024, I was able to team up with people and sponsors and all these things and be successful at it. And what I learned is that in 2023, there were more deaths in that year than like the 10 years prior. And so God was taking me out of that circumstance and protecting me and saying, hey, I'll let you do this. It's just not going to be this year.

[Michael Chernow]

How do you think you receive God? Like, how do you think you hear God?

[Ryan Revard]

I think if we allow ourselves to be open to it and,

[Michael Chernow]

you know,

[Ryan Revard]

we just kind of quiet our minds a bit. I think I see it in so many things. One of the ways that I practice it is just being grateful, like expressing gratitude for even just the simple things.

[Michael Chernow]

What does that look like?

[Ryan Revard]

I mean, getting up in the morning and hey, I'm alive today, I'm sober today. You know, I'm here talking to you with my daughter. I mean, there's so many blessings that I have that I can be grateful for that, you know, given another circumstance, I didn't necessarily like deserve that or anything different. Right. It's just, it's something that I work for. And because of the blessings that I've been able to have, I get to receive them. And yeah, I mean, I, I get to see it in the friendships that I have. They're genuine. When I was using, the friendships were, they were just based on what, you know, I could give to that person or what that person could give to me. It's very selfish and very self centered. And now it's based on what I can give to you, what I can offer and how I can be of service. And those opportunities allow me to then connect more deeply with people. To love, to have a wife, to have a family, to have children, to have A job to have, you know, a nice place to sleep this time instead of my car. So, yeah, I think it shows up in so many things. I mean, again, even just as simple as going out and getting a nice slice of pizza.

[Michael Chernow]

You and I have so much in common, dude. You know, we're sober around the same time, we're married around the same time. We both have kids, we're both athletes and challenge ourselves on a regular basis. But I want to talk about relationships a little bit because marriage is hard, man. It's a hard, it's a hard, it's beautiful and hard and. But you've been married 21 years.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah, almost.

[Michael Chernow]

Yeah, almost 21 years. So you found success in, in a long term relationship. You know, you think about it, right, like trying to take two people that came up in a different household with different, you know, lessons and different experiences and put them together in the same household. Having to make real big life decisions around bringing people into the world and how you're going to bring those people into the world and how you're going to raise them and you know, as, as small as like where you're gonna eat dinner tonight, right? You got to make a lot of decisions, right? Lots and lots of decisions. And it's two different brains dealing with different things. Um, it's not easy. What do you think has been the success of your long term relationship?

[Ryan Revard]

I think in a lot of ways, allowing each other to grow on the, on the path that they need to grow, right? Everybody is going to be in the relationship at some point growing a little bit faster or slower than the other person. And I think that as long as you're growing towards the same goal, it's something that you can sustain. But to your point, I mean, relationships, like anything in life, whether it's physical fitness or business or your kids, like, they, they require work and dedication and intention and I think, you know, showing up for each other and being patient for each other and, you know, allowing each other to, to fail and to struggle, but also support them and, and see them through those things. You know, my wife, for instance, on Everest, I mean, leaving for that and knowing the risks involved and the children that I have, and she was immensely supportive and having that behind me just kind of gave me this courage and this confidence that like, yeah, I'm going to do this. And so having somebody like that again is one of those God things. It's one of those blessings. But I think it's one of those opportunities where you get to learn a lot about yourself. You get to learn how you show up for other people. It's one thing to show up for friends because you have interactions or business colleagues, you have ways that you kind of show up in a lot of ways. They're very similar. But your significant other gets to see all of it. Like all of the downsides, all of the, you know, maybe not so glamorous aspects of your life. And at the, and in the same sense, that's also kind of the beauty of it, right? You get to share those moments with somebody and be vulnerable in that place and they can support you and you can support them. I mean, I look back at my experience with my wife now and I will never replicate those experiences with any other human being on this planet. Like, never again. Like, I have four children with them. I was with with them or with her. And in those experiences, two of which were born in our home, right? I mean, like, that will never happen again. And those are remarkable, remarkable experiences. And so just to share something like that with people and, you know, my growth from being some punk kid that we both met in college and, you know, I didn't have like two nickels between me and, and like growing and seeing us both grow and like the business and the kids and all that kind of stuff, it's, it's. Yeah, it's one of those things where I feel truly blessed. I mean, no day is going to be perfect in it and you know, we're each gonna struggle through our own emotional growth and physical growth and, and we'll have differences on how we want certain things to happen with the kids. But as long as you communicate about those things and you're open about them, you know, you can find common ground and start to build something that's pretty, pretty fantastic.

[Michael Chernow]

Do you guys have like a communication forum that you kind of stick to? Is there a way that you guys communicate like on a regular? Because I, like you said, the word that stood out to me most honestly is intention. Right, Sure. I, I do believe that in long term relationships, intention is so critical. And you know, my wife and I, and this is a relatively new thing over the last, like two, maybe three years that we've sort of implemented intentionally. And it wasn't meant to be intentionally until we realized that, oh, wow, we're doing this like, let's make it a thing. Yeah, right. Was, was after dinner every night, instead of like, you know, everybody eats dinner and then you bring your plate over to the sink and do your dishes. We just sit, we just sit and we, we, we sit for Half an hour, the two of us, the kids, you know, they. They split and we just talk. And like, that has been such a. It sounds small, right? Oh, yeah, you're just going to hang out and just talk. But realistically, when you're in a marriage and you have a routine and, you know, it's just, you got kids that are. You got to get ready for bed and, you know, like, the, you know, similarly to, like, you live your life throughout through the day and you get home and you have dinner and you, you know, brush your teeth and you go to bed.

[Ryan Revard]

Right.

[Michael Chernow]

Like, you don't really take a look back on what happened that day unless you're intentional about reflecting on your day. That's why I feel like journaling is such a powerful tool. But my wife and I started doing that a couple years ago where we really just sat down and after dinner and just talk. No, no, no. Format. Just shoot the.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

And. And it gives us an opportunity to just check in on each other's day.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

And with that comes, you know, with that practice, very little surprises. I used to remember I would tell my wife, you know, prior to doing this, I'd be like, oh, yeah, I'm going to, you know, LA today. And she'd be like, what? And I'm like, ah, gosh, did I not tell you that? Didn't tell you I was going to do that. Yeah. You know, like, and those, Those rarely happen. They still happen sometimes, you know, but, like, rarely happen these days because we sit and we actually just talk. And I feel like what that very clearly defined for me is that, like, all it takes is just intentional, consistent communication.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

You know, to, like, not leave any, you know, dust on the side of the table. You know what I mean? So do you guys have anything like that?

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah, I mean, what we try to do, because to your point, when you have several kids and you got businesses and you got. I mean, believe me. And there's many times still, I have to admit, where she's like, I didn't know you were like, I didn't know to listen to this podcast because you were on that one. Or I didn't, you know, I didn't know that. And I don't know. So we, we actually created like a. We have a family calendar that we use, like a display board too, so we can see each other where we're at, all that stuff. But what we try to do is go for a walk. So we live by a lake, and any opportunity that we get that. Okay, let's just hold hands and go for a walk for half an hour, we walk around the block and just again, you know, like you said, shoot the. And just talk about whatever's going on. And sometimes it'll be about the kids, sometimes it'll be about each other's lives, be about work, whatever it is. But one of the things that I've been trying to be very intentional in is for many years I ran a business that was independent of my family. So I've run a marketing agency. And there wasn't a lot of engagement or interaction from my family specifically. And I looked at that and I have to admit, it was, it was very challenging because I spent more hours with my work colleagues and my work than any other person on the planet. And I got to a certain point, especially after Everest, and I looked at that and I thought, I don't want to keep living my life like that. My oldest daughter is now in college and the other ones will follow pretty shortly after. And I was reading some study about how, you know, 75% of your experience with your kids happens up until the age about 12. And I'm thinking to myself, all right, you know, I got a 12 year old here with me. I'm going to bring it with and try to engage. So the things that I want to do moving forward, I want to make sure that I'm involving my family in those aspects of that business. That to me seems like the best case scenario. If I could do the things that I love to do, my family gets to participate in them, and then there are no surprises, then it's all kind of integrated into one.

[Michael Chernow]

So how have you done it?

[Ryan Revard]

So, for instance, working with, with brands and these kind of things as part of the pitch to these brands, I tell them, hey, I have an entire family that hits different demographics, and so we're going to all be a part of it. And oftentimes they love that. So we incorporate that in. My wife's done a lot of modeling and commercials and those kind of things you mentioned, similar to yours. And same with my kids. And so, you know, when we're doing fun skits and that kind of stuff, I just, I bring them in. I'm like, cool, how do we, what do you think of it? Even to the nonprofit that I started, we have T shirt designs and other things like that that we sell to raise money for it. And I have my kids help design them. So like, even my daughter Maeve, who's here with us, you know, she designed one of them out. And so we just, we put all of that into it. And I think that's, you know, as I move forward, that's really what I want to do, because I want to bring all of the areas of my life that are the most meaningful into one place and just function from that.

[Michael Chernow]

What do you think now? Like, having lived this pretty incredible life, you know, you built a business, you ran. You ran a marketing agency for 15 years, and you've. I mean, you've summited Mount Everest, you've been sober 23 years, you're married 21 years, you have four kids, you've had multiple businesses, and you've got nonprofits where you're giving back a lot. Like, out of all those things, where are you actually finding the most joy? Like, where. Where. I could tell you exactly where I find the most joy.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

And I'm just curious where you find the most joy?

[Ryan Revard]

I think in helping people. And I think that was kind of a big aspect as well. Like, I. I started the marketing agency because genuinely, I was helping other businesses growing. I mean, there's been some really fun stories of helping young kids grow their own business and now have their own kids and get married and all that stuff and be very successful. And there's something really special about that. But I think as I've reached these different levels of success, as you've mentioned, and now have kids of my own, I look at the impact that I'm having on them and also then, you know, other generations as they come through, and I think I find the most joy in doing these community kind of events that we do through the nonprofit let's fuel growth, or we do these, like, activities and talk about mental health, and we share with other people, not just people like us that happen to be in recovery, but the family, the friends, the people around them. Those are the things that I really enjoy. The coaching that I've been doing with people through the dodec, you know, that stuff I find really warms my heart because it's one of those things where I realized I've been doing it for years, regardless of pay, and I would happily do it for free. And so I realized, okay, maybe that's what I should be doing. And the money and the rest of it, that'll figure itself out. But I'm doing it because I really enjoy it. And it's. And I see it happening. When I got back from Everest, I went on like, it was like, NBC or abc. And I shared my story of being in recovery. And it's the first time on, like, national television where I Shared with people that I was, you know, an addict of the nature. And. And I remember going back and crying in my car. I felt like this cathartic kind of experience and realized there was maybe some shame still happening, but it was a good release of all that. And I went to this grocery store to get some lunch, and this gentleman walked up to me, and he was reaching out his hand, shook my hand, tears in his eyes, and he said, you know, I just saw you on tv, and I really wanted to thank you for that, because the courage that it took to share your story has really given me a lot of hope. My daughter has been struggling for many years, and I felt hopeless in all of this. And you sharing that story just like it gave it back to me. So, again, thank you. And that was kind of one of those, like, aha moments for me. Again, a God experience. And since then, there have been many other people that have also reached out, and I've helped get sober and figure out their lives and create businesses. And so I'm like, okay, like, I need to focus more on that, because that really fills my cup.

[Michael Chernow]

You know, I just. It's hard for me, sitting across the table from you is not hard, because I. I was there, and I. I know how people change. But I'd love you to just give us a story from your using days.

[Ryan Revard]

Sure.

[Michael Chernow]

That will kind of just describe what it was like for you. Like a. Like a rough one. Like, something that stands out to you is like, how did I live that way?

[Ryan Revard]

How could I have lived that way?

[Michael Chernow]

How could this have. How could this have occurred in my life, the man I am today?

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah. You know, okay. There's quite a few of those, unfortunately. Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

I mean, you're a must mave.

[Ryan Revard]

I think everything that I did was a lie. Like, everything that came out of my mouth was a lie. I remember standing at the bottom of the stairs, and my dad was at the top of the stairs, and my eyes were closed, and I was wobbling back and forth because I could barely stand up, telling him that I was not going to be using or going out and driving or any of that stuff. And I was already three shots in, like, just destroyed. And that's how I live, like, every day. I mean, I don't know how I drove a car or any of these things. I mean, I was always intoxicated from the moment I got up in the morning to the moment I went to bed, and I would drive down in the west side of Chicago to get dope. And I remember one time you know, we brought one of these girlfriends of our friends, and she's freaking out being in that space. And, you know, they pull us into the alley and there was like a. Can't remember if it was like the Crips or something like that, but several gang members and they're just sitting there on the picnic table looking at us. And being a guy of my color, we kind of stand out quite a bit in that area. And like, the cops know if you're in that area, you're probably only there for one reason. And, you know, guys coming up with guns sitting next to us. And I remember driving down, for instance, with the son of the chief of police in our area, and he got out of his car waving a gun around and yelling at a woman in front of him. A bunch of obscenity. And I just like ducked in the

[Michael Chernow]

back of the car.

[Ryan Revard]

I'm like, oh my God, we're gonna get shot right in this neighborhood.

[Michael Chernow]

Your. Your buddy, the chief of police son, was out, outside of the car waving a gun.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah. And just yelling at this lady to out of the car, like driving, just like all this stuff. And I'm just like, what is going on right now? Wow.

[Michael Chernow]

I mean, it's always the chief of police son, of course.

[Ryan Revard]

Of course.

[Michael Chernow]

Yeah.

[Ryan Revard]

I mean, there's so many of these stories and, and like some horrible stuff. I mean, I remember sleeping with friends, girlfriends. I remember, you know, dating three girls at a time. I mean, like, so many, like, really horrible stories. I had been selling drugs for a long time and mushrooms was kind of one of them. And so we were selling them out of my car, pounds at a time. And I was the only one in the area to. To have them. And I remember a two week stint where I was using mushrooms like every day. And I probably went through several ounces myself, on top of shooting a barrel and on top of smoking weed. And it was like five in the morning and I was trying to smoke this bowl and I wasn't getting high anymore. I was like, okay, there's something, something wrong here. And the next thing I know, all I see is this like, TV screen, fuzzy kind of static. And every part of my body just loses function. And I collapsed in my front yard and everything went black except for this, like, flickering light that I could see in the distance. And all I could hear was my heart stopping, like slowly stopping. And I looked at that light and I realized it's not over yet. Like, there's still something left. And the next thing I know, I start hearing this Voice getting louder and louder. And it's my friend who grabbed me and put me into his chest and he was giving me cpr and he was yelling at me to breathe. And he just kept saying, ryan, breathe. And louder and louder again. And eventually then I gasped for air. And I woke up and I was 19 at the time. And I had lost many friends over the years to suicide, to overdoses, to all that stuff. And I thought to myself that that's it, that's the end. I'm done.

[Michael Chernow]

Wow, man. And look at you now. Like, I mean, I, I, it's just, I, I appreciate you going there. Because. When guys like you and I talk about recovery and people that are in active addiction look at guys like you and I and they roll their eyes and they're like, oh, these guys don't know what the, these guys don't know what it's like. We do. And the only reason why you and I are sharing about this right now is because we want to show to the guys that are struggling that they could be sitting at the table with us 100%, without a doubt, no questions asked. It is 100% possible. Absolutely possible.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

Unequivocally possible.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

You know, it's not an easy path, getting sober. I mean, we went from, we went from having a conversation about our 20 plus year marriages. Right. I know, it's crazy to, to the, the conversation, the stories that you just finished telling me about your past life.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

And. The hard part is that something clicked for you at 19, something clicked for me at 23. And it was probably a culmination of different things in God's grace. But at the end of the day, we made a decision to just not do it anymore. And you could, you know, it is a disease. You can come up with a bunch of other ways or techniques or recovery programs or.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

Treatment centers or medication. At the end of the day, you just have to stop doing it.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

And the craziest thing is, is that most people that are addicted don't believe that's possible.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

But you and I have defied the impossibility of that, you know, so I'm so happy you came on the show to be able to share these stories of just unbelievable accomplishment and real true, like the things that matter most in life, like wife and kids and building things to bring your family closer together and the, none of this stuff is a possibility without sobriety. No.

[Ryan Revard]

You know, not even, not, I mean, in the equation.

[Michael Chernow]

Not even, not even a thought.

[Ryan Revard]

No.

[Michael Chernow]

Your wife would have been long Gone? Yeah, long gone. If you were doing what? If you were conducting and even scratching the service of, you know, the west side of Chicago with gang members and, you know, guns, your wife would be like, you know, I'll tell you a story. So I sold a lot of drugs too. And that was an addiction in itself for me. I got sober at 23, but I didn't stop selling drugs. And I met my wife nine months after I got sober. So I got sober, changed my life dramatically in the matter of three, four months. Flew to LA thinking that I was going to go chase this acting career. Came back with my tail between my legs in three months. Did not do that. Everybody told me I was making a big mistake. I knew better, of course. 23 year old, three months sober guy. Yeah. I should have taken their advice. But I came back to New York and a month or so later and I got, I got, I'm not gonna lie, I got back into selling drugs, you know, and, and in my mind I was like, I'm sober, I'm going to be able to do this responsibly.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

And then I met this angel. Angel. My wife, way beyond my pay grade. Just never thought that this woman, and we were kids, but she was just this angel, whatever, give me the time of day.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

But she did and we started dating. And like two months after we were dating, I just let her know. I said, look, you know, I am living a very different lifestyle than what I was living, but this one thing has kind of been hard for me to shake. And it's too easy for me at this point because after years of selling drugs, I never touched the them, I just never touched him anymore.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

I told this guy to tell this guy to do this thing and pick this thing up there and then bring the money to the restaurant. The only thing I ever touched was money. And that's a hard thing to. You know, the only thing at that point in my drug dealing career I had to touch was the byproduct cash. And so I said to my wife, you know, this is a thing that I'm still doing. And she did not like that at all. And she didn't want any part of it.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

But like, it kind of like faded away. But I knew that she was not at all like wanted anything to do with that and, and basically was like, I can't. You're. And then she. One time I ended up having to take a big duffel bag of, of weed into my house in my apartment, and she found it and it was Not a little duffel bag of weed. It was like a, like a duffel bag, like the size of this table, you know, and she, she sat me down and she said, this is a you or me thing. I mean, this is a me or that thing.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

And yeah, that was when I, I was able to shake that. It was like a very, very hard thing to shake, but that was that, you know, and, and it just shows that, you know, like, the things that matter most in life typically put us in the luckiest situations, you know, and we can both pro. And I'm sure luck has something to do with our success, you know, in all the different areas.

[Ryan Revard]

Absolutely.

[Michael Chernow]

Right. Yeah. But I will say that lucky people do find themselves in lucky situations and put themselves in lucky situations. And like me being sober, finding my wife, who knows what could have happened the following day if I hadn't just made the decision to just do away with that. I could be doing time in prison as a sober guy. And I know a lot of sober guys that did time in prison.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

Because they couldn't shake that, you know, dude, this is such a great conversation. I'm, you know, I just love meeting men like you that, you know, and I know I, I, I, I wanted to talk about just men in successful situations having a hard time with loneliness because it is a real thing. Right. And you, last night at dinner, you, you know, you made it very clear to me that you are very intentionally participating and throwing your name in the hat of these things that you potentially five years ago would not have thought about because you were too busy. And yeah, you know, so that was really inspiring for me because I also am like, I know that I need to be participating more and throwing my name, throwing my name in a hat and being like, hey, like, I want, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to that thing. Yeah, I'm gonna just show up, I'm gonna go to that thing and then you're there and like you're about around a bunch of other guys and, you know, it feels like the good old days. Yeah. You know, where can people find you?

[Ryan Revard]

So based in Minneapolis area, but I have a couple different places on social media. So my social handle is the RyanRevard. My coaching program is thedodecmethod.com and the non profit is letsfuelgrowth.org so if anybody wants to learn more about those things, they can certainly DM me and the messages and I'll make sure to get back to them.

[Michael Chernow]

So. Awesome, dude.

[Ryan Revard]

Yeah.

[Michael Chernow]

If you are struggling in any area of your life. I know that we talked a lot about recovery and sobriety here, but. But this conversation is not. Is not exclusive to struggling with addiction. This is a conversation with just human beings having to deal with suffering of some level. And a lot of times when we are suffering, we feel suffocated. And the truth is, is that there is oxygen. You have to believe that there is oxygen. And like Ryan, you know, climbing to the top of the world, there was not a lot of oxygen up there. Up there. And he. He made it through. He made it through where there was literally not a lot of oxygen. You're on. You're on your two feet. You're. You're breathing. And you, believe it or not, are living with a lot of opportunity. No matter what you're going through, pain is temporary. Pain is temporary. And we write the story, the story that you've told yourself about not being able to quit or stop or get out of the relationship or get out of the job or, you know, whatever the situation is for you currently right now. And if you're not dealing with anything in the world of suffering right now, amazing. Congratulations. Pass this podcast off to somebody who is, you know, that is. That is the one thing I really ask of you is, is, you know, if you loved this podcast, share it. And if you feel like there's somebody in your world, in your network that you think could potentially hear some of this stuff and benefit from it, share it. That's why I do it. I don't get paid for this. I actually pay to make these podcast episodes. That's a fact. So I appreciate you all for being listeners on the show and hit that subscribe button. Five star rating and review. Primo prime time. Big time. Gracias. And until the next one, y', all, peace.