Podcast Summary: How to Rediscover Intimacy with Your Partner | with Kelsey Kitch

Kreatures Of Habit Podcast
Host: Michael Chernow
Guest: Kelsey Kitch
Date: December 24, 2025

Overview

In this candid and lively episode, Michael Chernow sits down with entrepreneur and intimacy coach Kelsey Kitch to discuss redefining intimacy in long-term relationships, the nuances of plant medicine and sobriety, entrepreneurship, and practical tools for reigniting the flame between partners. The conversation balances vulnerability, humor, and direct advice, making it a compelling listen for anyone interested in relationships, self-development, or personal growth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Intimacy in Long-Term Relationships

• Redefining Intimacy: Kelsey emphasizes that intimacy isn't just about sex; it's about meaningful connection, touch, and the willingness to rediscover your partner continually.
  • "We've forgotten the art of flirting with our partner in a way that's just like I see you... Start at the beginning." — Kelsey (00:20, 67:42)
• The Oneness Experience: Kelsey describes her retreat, "The Oneness Experience," which helps couples reconnect using tailored exercises focused on communication, touch, and shared vulnerability (51:07–56:52).
  • She clarifies this is not about forced intimacy but a return to curiosity and attentive partnership:
    • "What’s intimate is a small motion... all of intimacy is something in motion." — Kelsey (70:55)
• Practical Tools for Reconnection:
  • Make intentional, non-sexual physical contact (hand on a leg, a wink, or a kiss on the cheek).
  • Share daily reflections as a couple (Michael’s dinner routine at 58:03), fostering understanding and emotional closeness.
  • Emulate early relationship “flirting” and playful moments.

2. Sexual Routines and Social Myths

• Frequency and Quality: Michael opens up about having sex weekly with his wife—a rarity, in his view, for long-term couples (53:41), and Kelsey notes quality connection matters more than quantity.
• Communication as Key: Both discuss the importance of explicitly discussing intimacy issues—even if it feels forced, it should be normalized (“Let’s talk about this…” at 66:32).
• Confidence and Desire:
  • "Confidence is the sexiest fucking thing in town." — Kelsey (73:44)
  • Kelsey passionately asserts that women, especially as they age, desire sex more and with greater confidence, debunking stereotypes (75:51).

3. Entrepreneurial Spirit and Identity

• Michael and Kelsey reflect on the nature of entrepreneurship—a blend of audacity, adaptability, and vision.
• Kelsey:
  • "An entrepreneur is a person who does something a little bit different." (07:28)
  • Shares her accidental path to being twice-named Canada’s Top Female Entrepreneur, highlighting humility, risk-taking, and the power of living in the future (06:00–09:30).

4. Sobriety, Identity, and Plant Medicine

• Host's Vulnerability: Michael shares fears around illness, legacy, and identity tied to sobriety, candidly discussing his curiosity about plant medicine as a tool for trauma work (18:03–30:35).
• Navigating Stigma and Benefit of Psychedelics:
  • Intention is everything: “Am I utilizing this tool for good purpose, not for a good time?” — Kelsey (22:54)
  • Safety and Preparation: Set, setting, substance integrity, and qualified facilitation are essential (25:13).
  • Not a panacea: Plant medicine isn’t for everyone and shouldn’t be glamorized; some conditions (like opioid addiction) may particularly benefit (37:02, 38:55)
• How Psychedelics Work:
  • "We have a hardware upgrade...and a software upgrade." — Kelsey (39:12)
  • Repatterning the brain and reducing negative default modes can open the way for healing and different perspectives.

5. Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Flirting, Reconnection & Habitual Touch:
  • “Me putting my hand on your arm and saying I miss you doesn’t mean now I’m gonna...put my hand up your shirt. It’s just like, start at the beginning.” – Kelsey (00:20, 67:42)
  • "The best sex you've ever had...it wasn't you having an orgasm. The part you remember...it's a whole bunch of other stuff." – Kelsey (64:05)
• On Aging and Desire:
  • "30-year-old Kelsey was having some pretty good sex. 49-year-old Kelsey...she has no fucking concept. And it’s a good thing because she probably would have gotten no work done." — Kelsey (74:20)
• On Showing Up in Relationships:
  • "If you have a solid intimate relationship with great sex...your immune system functions better...People have longer periods of clarity and flow states..." – Kelsey (54:32)
• On Plant Medicine and Transformation:
  • “It’s not all science...There’s soul in it, there’s spirit, there’s the oneness...” – Kelsey (44:21)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |------------|---------------------------------------------| | 00:20 | Kelsey on starting with simple connection | | 07:28 | What makes an entrepreneur? | | 18:03 | Michael opens up about sobriety & trauma | | 25:13 | Set, Setting, Substance, Facilitation | | 38:55 | Ibogaine & addiction | | 39:12 | How psychedelics affect brain & perception | | 51:07 | The Oneness Experience explained | | 53:41 | Discussing sexual frequency in long-term marriage | | 58:03 | Michael shares a transformative dinner-time routine | | 67:42 | First steps for reigniting intimacy | | 73:44 | “Confidence is the sexiest fucking thing...”| | 74:20 | Kelsey on sexual confidence and aging |

Useful Tips & Takeaways

• For Disconnected Couples: Don’t jump straight to sex. Rebuild with small gestures of affection and curiosity ("I miss you," a touch, a wink — 67:42).
• For Couples Wanting More Intimacy:
  • Build routines for daily check-ins.
  • Practice non-sexual touch; keep the playful, flirtatious energy alive.
  • Seek outside experiences (“Oneness Experience”) for a reset if needed.
• For Individuals Exploring Plant Medicine:
  • Make intention your guiding principle.
  • Prepare carefully and seek qualified guides.
• On Discussing Intimacy: Communicate candidly and with confidence. Don’t let embarrassment or societal expectations stifle growth in your partnership.

Final Thoughts

This episode is an honest, frequently humorous, and ultimately optimistic look at not just sex and relationships, but the courage to reinvent, confront difficult topics, and keep growing—alone and together. Kelsey brings practical wisdom and refreshing candor, encouraging listeners (especially in long-term relationships) that change, pleasure, and renewal are always possible.

Find Kelsey Kitch & The Oneness Experience at: theparamountlove.com (80:14)