Kreatures Of Habit Podcast

Episode: Marriage & Mindset: Leveling Up Together | Monday Moments
Host: Michael Chernow
Date: September 29, 2025

Episode Overview

In this solo episode, Michael Chernow explores the significance of marriage and long-term relationships, focusing on the mindset and habits required to not just sustain, but level up together as a couple. Drawing from his personal experience of a positive, nurturing marriage, Michael unpacks core elements that he believes are fundamental to a thriving partnership—communication, embracing pain, and tolerating discomfort. The episode's aim: to inspire listeners to reflect on their own relationships, and how intentional habits foster meaningful, lasting bonds.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Weight of Your Choice in Partner

• Michael underscores that choosing who to spend your life with is “the most important, if not one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make in your entire life.”
  • (01:08–01:15)

The Reality of Marriage: More Than Just Love

• Michael shares his “luck” and gratitude for a strong marriage, emphasizing that successful marriages are built, not merely found.
• He addresses common negative perceptions about marriage, expressing confusion and empathy but holding firm that the relationship itself is transformative if approached with the right mindset.

The Three Essentials for a Thriving Marriage

Michael distills his experience into three fundamental pillars:

1. Communication
   • “Communication is essential.”
   • Being ready and open for discussion—especially when it’s hard—is a non-negotiable.
2. Willingness to Endure Pain
   • “Pain is essential.”
   • Instead of avoiding emotional discomfort or arguments, Michael advocates for “leaning into” pain to get to the other side.
3. Embracing Discomfort
   • “Discomfort is essential.”
   • Growth happens by facing, not fleeing, discomfort, and being ok with not always getting your way but negotiating outcomes together.

“In a marriage, if you are not willing to communicate and run from pain and discomfort, potentially marriage is going to be a challenge for you. But if communication is something that you’re completely ready and open for, and when discomfort comes and pain comes, you try to lean into it to try to get through the other side of it, then marriage is going to be the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you.”
— Michael Chernow (01:22–01:55)

Love as a Foundation—But Not the Whole Structure

• Michael acknowledges love as the “overarching component” of marriage but insists that love is inseparable from a willingness to communicate, endure pain, and tolerate discomfort.

"So when I hear people talk poorly about marriage. Kind of don't get it. ... It is so important to understand those three components of a marriage."
— Michael Chernow (02:15–02:24)

Support, Partnership, and Shared Risk

• Michael credits his marriage as the single most important influence in his success and well-being, highlighting the support and willingness to “take risks together” as crucial.

"Marriage is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life. My wife is by my side always. I'm by her side always. She supports me, I support her. We take risks together. And, you know, I feel so lucky and blessed to have her in my life."
— Michael Chernow (01:55–02:12)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the decision to marry:
  “The most important, if not one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make in your entire life is who you choose to spend it with.”
  — Michael Chernow (01:08)
• On marriage as a crucible:
  “If you are not willing to communicate and run from pain and discomfort, potentially marriage is going to be a challenge for you. ... But if you… lean into it… then marriage is going to be the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you.”
  — Michael Chernow (01:22–01:55)
• On support and risk:
  “She supports me, I support her. We take risks together.”
  — Michael Chernow (02:06)

Key Segment Timestamps

• [01:08] — The critical importance of choosing your life partner
• [01:15–01:55] — The three pillars of successful marriage (communication, pain, discomfort)
• [01:55–02:12] — Personal reflections on support and shared risk-taking in marriage
• [02:15–02:24] — Challenging negative views of marriage and reiterating the key components

Tone and Language

Michael is heartfelt, candid, and encouraging—speaking plainly, as if confiding hard-won truths to friends. His tone is earnest and optimistic, urging listeners to reflect and act with intention in their relationships.

Summary for Listeners

This episode is a candid exploration of the habits and mindsets that Michael credits with nurturing his marriage—arguably the most significant “habit” of all. Listeners walk away encouraged to embrace communication, face relational discomfort, and remember that partnership is a product of consistent choice and courage, not just emotion. Whether you're partnered or aspiring to be, Michael’s experience is both practical and inspiring, reminding us that who we choose and how we show up determines the quality of our lives.