← Kreatures Of Habit Podcast 
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- [00:00]
A
I don't think that life is about being happy. It's about just being okay with the present moment and the experience of that moment. And that's the concept of impermanence. It's happiness is going to come and happiness is going to go, just as sadness is going to come and sadness is going to go. And the suffering exists. When we start holding on, when we start holding on to that feeling of happiness because we're afraid it's going to leave, we start to manipulate life and we start to become too tightly attached to the things that we think are bringing us happiness.
- [00:34]
B
I'm Michael Chernow and this is the Creatures of Habit podcast. Our habits will make us or break us. It's just that simple. I've lived on both sides of the tracks and have learned that the decisions we make on a consistent basis truly define who we are as human beings. On this show, I will be interviewing some of the most inspiring, motivating and high performing humans I've encountered to share the their daily habits, routines and rituals that help them stay on top of their game and ultimately happy. So sit back, relax, and pay attention because what you hear over the next 30 to 45 minutes could potentially change your life. Let's go. What is going on, everyone? Welcome back to the Creatures of Habit podcast. I am in a very calm state right now, and why? Because I'm sitting across the table from Michael Galleon, who is very calm and literally like, you know, it's so interesting. Experience for me is super important. My life professionally was based on experience for a long time in the world of hospitality. And I used to say to my staff, you know, the experience doesn't begin when someone or a guest walks into the restaurant. The experience begins as soon as they make eye contact with the establishment, as soon as they see it. And I'm not joking that I walked out of a room and I saw Michael sitting there and immediately I was just like, huh. Michael is a life and business coach. He is a podcaster of the Letting It Settle podcast. He is an author. He's got a book coming out called Let It Settle and he is a content creator and, and all of his work is based around mindfulness and really trying to remember to take some time to be calm and maybe some quiet moments throughout your day. That a lot of us in this hyper connected, hyper sort of hustle kind of culture that we live in, we forget that we can take a breath and appreciate what's going on around us that, you know, especially things that don't have to do with generation, generating, making, creating, doing constantly. And it's so perfectly timed for where I am in my life right now. So I get to hang out with Michael and. And talk to him about what he does. And hopefully, you know, we get some content for you guys to. To put in your back pocket and carry with you for the day, for the week, for the month, or for the rest of your life. So I'm really, really to have Michael on the show. Michael, welcome.
- [03:29]
A
Thank you. Yeah, I always say my job is calm. That's kind of the basis of what I do, is just helping people find that space of calm.
- [03:38]
B
The creatures that have a podcast is loosely based around routine and habit and ritual. Things that. I mean, it all started with me, things that I did to sort of get me out of the depths of addiction and find this whole new way of living in recovery in a much brighter existence. Right. And it really was, for me, if I had to put a finger on any of, like, one thing that really was the catalyst to helping me sort of stick to the plan. It was habits, also known as consistent decisions. Right. And I think what you're. What you bring to the table, which is really awesome. And I think we hear the word mindfulness often these days, but very few of us put it into practice. Right. And so if you can just give us a quick sort of snapshot of who you are, what you do, and why you do it.
- [04:36]
A
It's a big question.
- [04:37]
B
Yeah.
- [04:39]
A
So, yeah, I mean, I think you explained really well at the beginning, but this all kind of happened through my own journey towards finding a space of calm and centeredness. I dealt with a lot of stuff growing up, dealt with a lot of trauma growing up, had a lot of. Also struggled with addiction and struggled with finding my space of sobriety there. And through that journey and this journey of different jobs and different. Just trial and error, I came to find that where I was at my best at my peak was when I could be as centered as possible, be as connected with myself as possible, and be connected with others as possible. And somehow that turned into a job. So I originally started out in musical theater and was a performer and singing on stage and singing around the world. And from there, I started getting severe panic attacks to the point where I could no longer perform. I couldn't audition. And so I'm here in New York. And the reason that I came to New York no longer exists. So I started trying to find different ways, tried everything that you can imagine to try and find my way through that anxiety so that I could just function in the world. And I found meditation and mindfulness in that pursuit. From there, I started teaching preschool. That was kind of the next phase of my life. So going from being a performer to being a preschool teacher. And I started utilizing a lot of the mindfulness tools that I was using for myself to just help me get to that baseline of calm and using that in my teaching with children. And so from there, I went on to. From the preschool classroom, move on to the management team and start work with. Working in the corporate world there and grew and grew and grew from there. But it was always everything that kept coming with me was this, how do I infuse mindfulness into everything that I'm doing? How do I teach that and allow for that to be kind of the guiding force in my life? And so that led me to the pandemic, when the company that I was working for, that I had done really well at, and has had this really lovely corporate career where I was traveling the world, all of a sudden went bankrupt. And it was this moment of, what do I do now? And so I decided that instead of going to find a job, I wanted to really focus on helping other people and really focus on building my own thing. So I started posting on social media. And it was really, at first, I was going through a really trying period of my life and things that I needed to hear. So I would just sit there and I would say to the camera things that I needed to hear. And then.
- [07:24]
B
Can I just interrupt for a second? When you say you were going through a really trying period of life, can you unpack that a little bit for us?
- [07:31]
A
Yeah. So I had gone through this career transition, gone through another career transition, and all of a sudden was in the middle of a global pandemic with no work and no job and no idea what exactly I was going needing to do. I think the pandemic hit everyone in different ways. For me, it was this extreme sense of loneliness. It was this extreme sense of trying to find my purpose, my passion, and find who I wanted to be connected to. And so, in a way, social media kind of opened that up for me, and it allowed for me to start to put out into the world what I wanted to share with the world. For whatever reason, the algorithm pushed it out to a bunch of people, and people started to follow, and people started to message me, saying, this is really valuable. Do you do any coaching? And so from there, I already had my coaching certification. And so I decided to launch a business around mindfulness and coaching and started taking clients from there. And then that kind of grew and grew and grew. And the podcast came from there, and then the new book came from there.
- [08:41]
B
When I think of the word mindfulness and it's been a huge part of my life, and there's moments where I'm completely connected to it and dialed in and very consistent. And then there's other moments when I'm not. And I struggle.
- [08:53]
A
Yeah.
- [08:54]
B
Kind of where I'm at right now, where I'm not meditating every day. And when I do meditate, I have a hard time feeling present. I'm in, like, a very. And I also think it has a lot to do with the fact that I have been traveling a lot and I've been out of my routine, but I'm having a hard time being present in general today. So if, for instance, a guy like me shows up on your door and says, hey, I understand this sort of how important mindfulness is, but I just can't figure out how to get back to feeling centered.
- [09:29]
A
I think there are degrees of being centered, and I like to call it coming home to yourself. And it's that space of remembrance, of presence and connection. I'm sure you have a moment where you can just remember, like, oh, yeah, I felt really connected there. I felt really like I knew myself, like I was connected with the people around me. I was just in a good space. And we consider that kind of home. And it's that place where you're not always going to stay home. You're going to journey off, you're going to go out, and you're going to travel, but it's the place that you can always return to. And so the tools that I teach are how do we just get ourselves one step closer back to home and knowing that it's this journey of we're going to travel away, we're going to come back. And so I would say, you know, trying all of these tips and tools that you can put into your calm kit until you can figure out what just feels right. What's the thing that just is getting you one step closer to where you want to be.
- [10:26]
B
Life today is hectic. There are no shortage of distractions, and a lot of people are living for things. We're kind of trained from birth at this point to live for things, not to live for joy, because we believe that the things are going to bring us joy. Right. So we're all kind of trained and molded, and social media certainly doesn't help, but it. But it does help in other ways. Right. Like finding people like you, through social media is an asset, but in many cases, social media just makes it just sort of polarizes and exploits this living for things piece. And what I've found, and obviously what you found and now you're helping others to uncover, is things are just not going to be the catalyst to calm and experience in life. Right?
- [11:32]
A
Yeah.
- [11:33]
B
What kind of tools do you implement with your. With your coaching clients?
- [11:40]
A
I think especially when people look at building a future and thinking about this. This growth into where they want to be, the immediate things that come to mind is, well, I want to. This is the job that I want. This is the house that I want, is the kind of car that I want. It's all these material possessions and so kind of stripping that away and coming back to, okay, but how do you. How do you want to feel? Or what does that represent when you really look at, okay, so you can want that job, you can want that car, but what is it really representing to you? Is it that you're going to feel fulfilled when you get there, that you're going to feel joyful, that it's going to, like, you have a sense of accomplishment and pride? Well, let's focus on that. Let's focus on how can we bring those feelings into the present moment? Because feelings are always accessible to us. It's, you know, it's like we have this little garden and all of the little plants are, there's joy and there's happiness and there's sadness and there's excitement. And it really just depends on which one we decide to water that's going to grow the fastest. And so how do we look into our gardens and say, okay, these are the ones that I want to focus on. And so that's a lot of the work that I do is just getting people to understand what is it that you truly want in your life in terms of how do you want to feel, how do you want to show up every day? And then how do you put yourself in a space where you can be focusing on that, putting your mental energy into cultivating that in your life now?
- [13:06]
B
I mean, I would imagine, though, when you ask that question, 10 out of 10 people say, I just want to be happy. Right?
- [13:11]
A
Yeah, a lot of people just want to be happy. Now, here's the caveat with that is I don't think that life is about being happy. It's about just being okay with the present moment and the experience of that moment. And that's the concept of impermanence. It's. Happiness is going to come and happiness is going to go, just as sadness is going to come, and sadness is going to go. And the suffering exists. When we start holding on, when we start holding on to that feeling of happiness because we're afraid it's going to leave, we start to manipulate life, and we start to become too tightly attached to the things that we think are bringing us happiness. And when we are afraid and we fear that sadness or that loneliness or that emptiness, we start to push away from it so hard that we're running in the other direction. And when we can just kind of sit with everything and just be comfortable with it, it's that knowing that it's gonna go, and that's okay.
- [14:14]
B
What. What kind of tools could you suggest to me and also to the audience listening to really help us actually be present? And I use an example of myself right where I love it when I'm in the moment. I really. It's. It's. I would argue to say it's whether it's a great moment or a not so great moment. For me, feeling. Feeling in the moment like I am right now. I am totally focused and in the moment, right. Right this moment, I'm in bliss. Like, this is my happy place. But there are definitely moments, like sort of chronic moments in my life where I struggle. And it's typically on the weekends after a heavy week of work, and I'm struggling to have a conversation with my wife where she's talking to me and I'm struggling to be present, and she hates it, and I don't blame her. So what kind of tools could I use? And also the audience who struggles with this ability to snap into the moment. And maybe, though maybe the roadblocks there are coming home from work after a long day and having to turn it on to be husband and dad sitting at the dinner table, physically being there, but, like, mentally being checked out. Are there things that you can suggest doing on a consistent basis that can help with that?
- [15:43]
A
In those moments, I would actually encourage you to start to be okay with the distraction, to notice the distraction, to be aware of it. So if your wife's talking to you and your mind is somewhere else, instead of feeling like you're beating yourself up to stay and keep coming back, you're actually creating tension there. It's creating this tension between where your mind is trying to take you and where you want to be. And so if you can just pause for that moment and say, okay, I'm really distracted right now. Let me just play that out in my mind. What is really calling my attention right now? Is it that I just need to think about something? Is it that there's actually something that my body is telling me it needs to take care of? And this is something that you can even share with your wife and just say, I just want to let you know right now my mind is really, really distracted. Do you mind if I just take a minute? And that gives you the ability to start to address what you're being pulled to, and then you can begin to let that go, because it's not this tension, it's not this tug of war.
- [16:45]
B
So not only are you distracted, but once you start thinking about the fact that you're distracted, you begin to beat yourself up, which is true. And now you're just layering on the sort of barrier between you and the moment.
- [17:00]
A
Yeah, it's just like in meditation, people think that they're a really bad meditator because they have a lot of thoughts. And meditation is really not the absence of thought. It's the awareness of thought and then the conscious decision to redirect to a present moment experience. And so in your case, it's the awareness of the distraction and then making the conscious choice to redirect to the present moment being your conversation with your wife.
- [17:27]
B
Meditation is a hot topic. It has been for a while now. I mean, it's been happening for thousands of years.
- [17:36]
A
Right.
- [17:36]
B
But like I would say in the last 10 years, there's lots of. Lots of conversation and talk and momentum behind and about meditation. And there's so many different apps for meditation and styles of meditation. You know, you hear a lot of people talk about transcendental meditation as being like the one, you know, specifically from celebrities and things like that. If someone comes to you and says, I have no. Like, I don't even know what meditation is supposed to be. I can't sit quietly without my head racing, you know, for more than two minutes. What would be a suggestion for if someone is actively looking to try meditation or make meditation a part of their routine?
- [18:24]
A
Start to experience it in real time. So it's, you know, if we're just sitting here right now, it's just start to become aware of the inhale through your nose. So just aware of what the air feels like when it goes into your nose. And then what does it feel like when it goes out? Just start to become really, really aware of the temperature of the air as it enters in through the nostrils, and then the temperature of the air as it exits. Just noticing if there's any difference there. If you notice Any thoughts that are there as they come in, just kind of note them and draw all that attention back to the curiosity of what does it feel like to breathe? Just breathing in and breathing out. You know your mind is going to wander. It's there, but it's just how can I become curious about the present moment? Curious about. And that's why we do a body scan. It's just checking in, it's giving you a focused attention. It's what mantra meditations do. They give you that focused attention on something that is present and that's really what meditation is. Your mind is going to be all over the place. I still have a super active mind, but it's that training yourself to just become aware of that thought, approach it without judgment. That's something that, you know, a lot of what I write about in the book is yes, it deals with chaos and how can we find calm in the chaos, but it's also about how can you treat yourself gently and kindly and not beat yourself up for just these basic things that we all experience.
- [19:51]
B
Would you point to meditation for you personally as a, as, as like the through line through all of your success and, and coaching sort of strategy?
- [20:06]
A
Yeah, I would say that it's. It's really been the thing that has continued to just keep me here and it's not always consistent. There's times when, you know, I forget to meditate, but I can always know when I haven't. I always know in my life when I haven't been in a consistent daily practice.
- [20:28]
B
Can you talk us through your current meditation practice, what you do, how long you do it for, what you think about, what time of day you do it.
- [20:37]
A
So mornings are when. That's my time. I know everybody has a morning routine and we should. I'm big on first thing in the morning and I'm not gonna lie, I check my phone like I do. I check my phone, that's my business. So I check if there's notifications, if the world has blown up, whatever's going on. But then I make the conscious choice to put that away and do a meditation, just a mindfulness based meditation. So I have my own practice where I just go through. Starts with just awareness of the breath, then moves into a body scan and then I move through a loving kindness meditation. So I think that's a big component of what I do is the loving kindness meditation, which is focusing on different groups of people and directing words of well wishes to them. So first to yourself, then to a neutral person in your life, a loved one someone you had conflict with and then to the world around you. And so it's just that allows for me to really have this understanding that the world is so much more than.
- [21:39]
B
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- [23:42]
A
Typically it's probably about two to three.
- [23:45]
B
Minutes and then you go into a full body scan from the top of your head down to your toes.
- [23:49]
A
Yep, just checking in and that's really probably a five minute meditation and it's really checking in on how things feel. I know That I carry stress in a lot of very specific areas. So it just gives me an understanding of, okay, how's my neck right now? How are my shoulders right now?
- [24:07]
B
Do you adjust them if there's, like, discomfort?
- [24:10]
A
Good question. No, no. So that's the. It's the awareness of the discomfort and the allowing for it to just be as it is. Eventually I'll go back and I'll, you know, start to create movement if I need to. But, you know, part of it is just that conscious awareness of what's going on right now.
- [24:27]
B
So you get from your head to your toes, and then you go into this kind and love.
- [24:32]
A
Yep. The loving kindness meditation.
- [24:33]
B
Meditation.
- [24:34]
A
Yep.
- [24:34]
B
Can you walk us through that?
- [24:35]
A
Yeah. So this is my favorite. One of the things that I hated most when I first started meditating. I thought it was cheesy. I thought it was nonsense has become really a staple practice for me. But the intention is to take different groups of people in your life. So we start first with yourself, and you start to direct words of loving kindness to them. So it's these well wishes. So mine is, may you be filled with loving kindness. May you be held in loving kindness. May you feel connected and calm. May you be happy and at peace. May you be well. And so the first thing you do is you start directing that to yourself. And for a lot of people, that's a really foreign feeling. People don't know how to take words of love and kindness directed at themselves and actually believe it without feeling like it's cheesy. So the next step is actually what kind of helps with that, and that's finding a loved one, a very dear person in your life, and directing those words directly to them.
- [25:34]
B
Dead or alive?
- [25:35]
A
Dead. Alive, anyone. And there's an ease with which that comes. I'm sure you know your wife, if you were to direct those words to her, it would be pretty easy. You could say those much easier than to yourself.
- [25:48]
B
Do you spend a certain amount of time with each person?
- [25:51]
A
It's just the length of the phrases. Okay, so just doing the phrases sit with the feeling of what that feels like. And then you take that feeling that you gave to the dear one, and you begin to envision someone who is neutral in your life. So a stranger of sorts, someone who you may, you know, someone who you see in the hallway, you know them, you don't know their story, you don't know their life. And you take that same feeling of loving kindness directed to the dear one and direct it to them. And so it's just These well wishes being directed to this person helps you to begin to see beyond just the, the, you know, they're no longer just a non player character in your game. They're a person with an actual story and a need and a desire for loving kindness. And then you bring to mind someone who you've had conflict with, which becomes really difficult for a lot of people. But it's really important to be able to see that person who you're angry with, that person who has caused you pain, and begin to direct those words to them. So what that does is it allows for you to begin to see beyond the story. So so often we, we only know people by the feelings that they have given us. We only know people by the events that have taken place in our lives. And so this allows for you to see that while they may have hurt you, while they may not deserve forgiveness in this moment, they are still a person who deserves loving kindness. And it's that ability to start to give that to them. And then from there you open it up to the entire world, all creatures, all beings, and move into, you know, I like to do it almost like you're watching a movie that's panning out where it zooms in on your small little part of town and then goes into the entire city, then the state, then the country. And you start to recognize that there's these millions and billions of souls who are all just wanting love, all one and kindness. And your ability to begin to share that with them allows for you to begin to see yourself as part of that world. And if everyone on this world, on this earth is worthy of loving kindness and you have the ability to give that to them, then you should be able to give it to yourself. And so you can begin to redirect it back to yourself at the end.
- [28:02]
B
And how long does that meditation typically take you?
- [28:05]
A
It can take 10 minutes, it can take 15. But you can also just kind of whip through these.
- [28:11]
B
As you were talking, I was, I was really thinking about this idea that especially when you said, you know, it's hard for us to receive self directed or just directed to us love and kindness, a lot harder for us to receive it and believe it than it is to give it. Right? And for some it's hard to do both, but in general I think it's way harder for us to take it. And you know, it's so interesting. Fear is such a powerful emotion. I don't even know if fear is really an emotion, but it's a powerful thing, right? And what fear evokes in us is not only mentally debilitating at times, but also physically can be physically debilitating. And it's so much more common for the response in a human to be acceptable, in a scared or in fear for the general population to understand. But no one really talks about being in bliss because of the things that they're thinking about for the future. You know what I'm saying? Like, we're all. You know, there's. It's so. It makes total sense. Like, you know, I'm scared of this thing, and it's making me anxious.
- [29:34]
A
Yeah.
- [29:34]
B
But rarely do you hear someone say, I feel so good about this amazing thing that's going to happen. It's really. There's so much more. There's so much more of an emphasis on how fear impacts us than how incredible things can impact us.
- [29:51]
A
Yeah, totally.
- [29:52]
B
I've been using positive affirmations, right. I've been using these affirmations that I will literally finish my morning routine with as I'm walking out of my little recovery room in the mirror. And it. In the beginning, when I first started, you know, sort of implementing affirmations, it was more strategic based on where I was at in my life. So I would say things like, this thing that's coming up, this is going to be okay. You are going to be able to accomplish this. There's no one standing in your way outside of you. So this is your opportunity, Mike, to take a step out of the way. Your wife really does love you, whether you are in a fight or not. Like, your wife loves you and you love her. Like, I would say things like that. And it sort of evolved into, you're powerful, you're strong. You have what it takes. You know that this is going to be okay. And now I really do just make eye contact with myself in the mirror, and I say, chernow, you're a good guy. Everything's gonna work out, man. Go out there and get it, you know? And, like, that's kind of where I've gone with the. The affirmations. And I think I had to work my way into that because it's so much easier and it rolls off our tongue so much faster and smoother to be like, you don't have it, dude.
- [31:12]
A
Yep.
- [31:12]
B
You suck. Yeah, you're not tall enough.
- [31:16]
A
Totally.
- [31:16]
B
You're not strong enough. You're definitely not handsome enough. No, you're. You're not smart enough. You don't know how to run a company. You didn't go to college for this. You don't have an mba. Everybody around you is so much better than you, so much easier.
- [31:32]
A
Yeah.
- [31:32]
B
Like, those flew off my tongue. Like. Yeah. You know, and saying the things like, you are smart enough, you are tall enough, you are handsome, you are strong, like, those things are so much harder to really kind of conjure up, but ultimately believe.
- [31:52]
A
Yeah. And we're so conditioned to think that we need that motivating factor of telling ourselves that we're not good enough so that we will work harder. And we fear that we're going to be complacent if we say good, kind, nice things about ourselves. You know, I like to consider that your gremlin voice, which is just that little gremlin who's up there who's telling you you're not good enough, you're not smart enough. And in the book I talk about, you know, the gremlin that I discovered was, you know, that you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, all those things. And there was this understanding that it really was trying to protect me. It was this. It would come up. It would pop up in those moments when I was coming close to something that was meaningful and important to me. It would come up in those moments when I feared that I was getting close to fear or shame or embarrassment. And it was almost like this way of it saying, you're not good enough too much. You just shouldn't try. It was like trying to bargain with me or trying to, like, scare me out of doing the thing and starting to identify that. And that's where mindfulness can be really important, is just identifying that voice is really powerful. Understanding that that voice exists. Michael Singer calls it your inner roommate. And understanding that there's this weird guy who lives up in your brain and tells you all these nasty things.
- [33:14]
B
Your inner roommate.
- [33:15]
A
Yeah. And, you know, personifying that and thinking of it like, you know, I call mine Magnor. It's this, like, you know, large, you know, techie who lives in the basement who just likes to scream things. It becomes almost humorous. And it's just that indicator, like, this isn't real. I don't need to listen to that. Just because you have a thought in your mind doesn't mean you have to be led by it. And then the difficult part is then taking it. And how do we transform that? So it's one thing to have the conscious awareness. It's the other thing to make the choice to do what you're doing, which is to switch that voice. And so one of the ways that I work with people and one Of I think the most viral video I've ever had is with a self love guided visualization, which is you start to imagine someone who you deeply care about and imagine them coming in and sitting in front of you and looking into your eyes and saying the kind words that you need to hear. So those simple words of, you are good, there's nothing wrong with you, you're going to be okay. And then holding on to that feeling and redirecting it immediately to yourself in the form of I am good, there's nothing wrong with me. And just that that little reference point of what it felt like to be loved and then using that as a way to turn that love inward can be really powerful.
- [34:35]
B
You said that you had a fair amount of trauma throughout your life. Yeah, I too have experienced a fair amount of trauma. And I'm, you know, I just finished the book. I've been wanting to read it for a long time, but I just finished the book the Body Keeps the Score and super eye opening book. Like it's one of those books that you read where you're like, oh, oh, that's why, that's what's happening here. I'm not one of these people though. I don't think there's like, I try not to be judgmental, but I'm not one of these people that have sort of victimized my trauma as a. Well, that's what happened to me. So that's why I do this. But I've really tried to use it in a positive way and share my story about trauma so that I can grow from it. Right. And use it as a tool for growth. And then I, you know, but when I'm faced with some stuff, you know, I can't help but try to figure out how I can see my trauma as an opportunity to continue to dig deeper. Right. Like, I thought that I had come to terms with all the things that I had experienced and I very openly share about my abusive childhood, molestation, drug abuse. And I really have come to complete terms with it. But after reading this book has made, you know, it's made me sort of question you might be comfortable talking about this. And you actually have helped people feel comfortable, comfortable enough for them to start talking about it. But have you actually looked at it and done some work on it? Like, have you done the work? And I'm now in that place where I thought reading that book was going to like, it's really ruffled some feathers for me, you know. And I think you also having experience in the world of trauma As a child, you know, what if somebody comes to you and genuinely just cannot have a self love visualization? Like literally doesn't understand how to like can say the things, you know, like I could talk about my story and still inside, which I'm kind of like unearthing right now, there's so much more work to be done to sort of like really wrap my head around it. If someone comes to you and you're just like, well, you know, we're gonna start telling ourselves that we're amazing, how do you get that person to actually begin to believe it?
- [37:26]
A
A big part of it is having that reference point is having that person who you could believe, or for some people, that person doesn't even exist. Is there an animal who you could believe? Is there a fictional character who you could believe? But that kind of allows for you to kind of step away from it, have a little bit of distance so it feels a little safer, and then start to begin to replicate that in your life. And that's a good way kind of start. But really when you're at that point where you And I remember I sat in a therapist's office once and I said, I think people who have self love are lying. Like, I don't believe that it is possible. And I've come to, you know, I don't believe that anymore. But it took a long time for me to be able to do that. One was being able to reference the people in my life who I trust, who I'm like, who I think they're probably not lying to me. And two was understanding that it's okay to be wrong because there's no harm in saying the words. I used to think like, well, what if I'm not and I'm putting myself up to be embarrassed or I'm gonna be, you know, made fun of. There's no harm. You can say the words. And as you've learned with your affirmations, over time they start to get easier and you start to find your way of being able to say them to yourselves.
- [38:51]
B
I think it's so important for people to just take a moment and realize that there's so much more to life than earn.
- [39:03]
A
Yeah.
- [39:04]
B
You know, there's so much more to life. And the word earn, I think, you know, when you think about self worth, it gets. It can get confused with net worth. Right?
- [39:15]
A
Yeah.
- [39:15]
B
Self worth for me, you know, is how am I feeling right now? Right. Like, how am I feeling consistently? And it's hard. And I think it's hard for a lot of People to separate this idea that, like, yes, we want to all earn. We all want to have the ability to hop on a plane and go on a vacation and enjoy where we are and then come home and have a nice place to rest your head and like, you know, have a car that's not in and out of the shop all the time. Like, we all want those things for sure. And by the way, bring comfort to our lives, without a doubt. But I really do strongly believe that how we feel about ourselves is not directly tied to those things.
- [40:06]
A
Totally. Yeah. It is fully possible to be at the worst point in your life, at your lowest, and still be able to find a space of self worth. Because worth is not contingent on anything that you do. It's not contingent on anything that you create, anything that you earn. It's intrinsic. It is your. You are worthy because you are here. Your mere existence on this planet means that you are worthy. And you're right, we get that misconstrued with worthy meaning that we've earned it, or worthy meaning that we are worth something monetarily and really we can look at it and say, I'm worth taking the time to figure out what it is that I need. And I'm worth giving myself the tools to be able to take care of myself in the way that I need.
- [40:57]
B
I'd like to just go back to your morning routine because we kind of. We kind of started it and then we pandered off into another direction. What, what, what does your morning routine look like?
- [41:08]
A
So meditation is kind of first thing and then it goes into journaling. So I did the artist way a million years ago, and the one thing that really stuck with me was the morning pages that I continue to go to. And so it's just free flow writing. Again, I have a very active mind, and so just having a place to kind of put things down is great for me.
- [41:30]
B
And so sometimes if you like open up that journal and you like, have nothing to specifically write about, do you just write, I've got really nothing.
- [41:38]
A
Yep. I have nothing to write about right now. I'm just journaling because this is what I'm supposed to do, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it, it turns into something eventually. You know, I try not to look back at them, but like, after a few years I'll look back and it's, it's, it's fun. It's interesting to see, like, totally. You know, the things that I was dreaming of are the things that I have now. And that's crazy.
- [42:00]
B
One guy said to me a while back, sort of like a mentor figure. I, like, dip in and out of journaling, and I'll journal for a couple of years straight, consistent. And then for some reason, it'll. I'll just stop doing it. But this one guy said to me while we were working on this thing, he said, look, you know, I want you to open up the back of your journal, and every Monday and every Friday, I just want you to write out your fears. That's it. I don't want you to think about it. I just. I am fearful of. I am fearful of. I am fearful of. And then three months. So he was like, can you commit to that? And I was like, sure, I can commit to that. So three months later, he said, okay, let's open up that fear inventory that you wrote, and let's look at it. And he was like, I want you to read them all to me. And there was, whatever it was, you know, 36 days worth of fear journaling. And he said, how many of those fears that you were concerned about actually came to fruition? How many of them happened? And I was like, not a lot.
- [43:03]
A
Yeah.
- [43:03]
B
And he was like, so, you know, the whole purpose of the exercise is we spend a lot of time in fear. And most of the time, not all the time, but most of the time, those fears are fabricated in your mind. They don't actually happen. They don't come true. And so I think that that's just a great example of, like, how powerful journaling can be. It's an expression, for sure. But really where the real beauty comes is, like, you. You know, you're. I'll sit on, you know, my birthday. It's traditional thing for me to do. Or it's my birthday journal on my birthday. And then I go into the room and I pull out journals from the last few years on my birthday. And I, like, look back and I sit with my wife, and, you know, I'll read it with her. And it's just wild to be able to have that documentation, that history, Right?
- [43:55]
A
Yeah.
- [43:55]
B
It's amazing.
- [43:56]
A
Yeah.
- [43:57]
B
So where do you go after journaling?
- [43:59]
A
After journaling? I have a gym in our apartment, which is nice. So I go down, I'll do some sort of exercise, either weightlifting or just a little cardio, and then come up, make breakfast, and start my day. But it's pretty. It's pretty simple. It used to be much longer. It used to have breathwork included in it. And then it would include, you know, going for a walk, and it would include all of these Other, other things, you know, cold shower thrown in there. But I've kind of just taken it down to. It's pretty simple. It's really connecting. It's really important for me to start the day with meditation, with mindfulness. Journaling is important to me and that's really what I need.
- [44:40]
B
Yeah. My morning routine also, and I will still kind of go back to it every once in a while, used to have it was like a 17 step process and like I actually love doing all those things. Like I genuinely love doing all those things. But I also made a conscious decision not to attach myself to that specific structured routine because I don't want to feel stress around my morning routine. And you know, I have a non negotiable, very similar to yours. But if I get to do all those things, awesome. And if I don't. Awesome.
- [45:17]
A
Yeah.
- [45:17]
B
I don't think that there's anything wrong. I mean, I have a lot of people that have come on this podcast and really have gone through this like super long morning routine, which I think is amazing. And if that makes you feel great, go for it. I don't roll my eyes at the people that have these long routines because I'm one of them. If I could, if and if I like genuinely had all the time in the world to do it, I would do it because I really do love the sauna and the cold and the red light and the whole thing. I love that stuff. Is there an evening routine, like a wind down routine that you have?
- [45:49]
A
I mean, I meditate in the evening, but that's probably about it. It's really just, you know, before bed, doing a meditation and then how long.
- [45:58]
B
Do you meditate before bed?
- [45:59]
A
Probably 20 minutes.
- [46:01]
B
Okay.
- [46:01]
A
Yeah.
- [46:02]
B
So your evening meditation is longer than your morning meditation. Did you always do both times?
- [46:07]
A
Yes, and then I also do a lunchtime.
- [46:10]
B
So you meditate three times a day? Wow.
- [46:13]
A
Yeah. And it's not every day, you know, I mean there, there are times when I miss it, but ideally that's three times a day.
- [46:20]
B
Do you think meditating before bed helps you to get into like a relaxed sort of ready to sleep kind of?
- [46:27]
A
Yeah. I think especially since so much of my job is in social media. Just having to be on social media so much is just makes your brain spin in a different way. And this just kind of like unwinds it so that you can actually sleep.
- [46:41]
B
And I guess that leads me to one of the last questions I have for you. So we talked about a morning routine and what you do before bed. Are there and You've already pointed out one of them, which is a sort of lunchtime meditation. Are there any other habits or consistent decisions that you intentionally make throughout your day that have helped you really stay connected and grounded?
- [47:07]
A
One of the things that's been really important in my life has been empathy, work and understanding empathy. And so there is a habit that I have a daily practice of kind of empathy, work of understanding. So I try and find if there's a situation in my life, and I try and do this every day where. Where there's been, you know, contention or where there's been conflict and just really looking and going. I go through this process of kind of. This empathetic inquiry, questions of, okay, let me just look at it from their perspective. Let me look at, look at why would it make sense for them to be making the decision that they're making? And it's this. This thing just gives me this perspective of other people that, similar to the loving kindness meditation with the person you're needing to forgive, you see the story beyond just your world. And so that's a. That's a habit and a practice of mine.
- [47:58]
B
It reminds me a lot of my first business partnership. I was young as an entrepreneur, thought I knew everything. And if my business partner didn't agree with something that I wanted to do, I immediately was flustered and angry. And really, I would beat myself up more than anything. And later on, someone had suggested, have you ever put yourself in your business partner's shoes, thinking about the same decision, you guys are fighting over something. Have you ever took the opportunity, because it's totally available, to take yourself out of your way of thinking and putting yourself in his shoes, seeing it from the other side, from the opposing side. Have you ever tried that? And I was like, definitely not. You know?
- [48:51]
A
Yeah.
- [48:52]
B
And now it's very hard to do. But I do think it sort of plays into this empathy work that you just discussed, where it's like, rarely do we think about the opposing side's perspective and point of view when it comes to an argument or a disagreement. And so I think that that's a great reminder for me too, to be like, hey, like, if there's something that's not going my way, and it's because there's someone else on the other side of the net, you know, trying to compete.
- [49:25]
A
Yeah.
- [49:26]
B
Let me just give it. Give a minute to that person's perspective.
- [49:29]
A
Yeah. You know, doesn't mean they're right.
- [49:31]
B
Right.
- [49:32]
A
You can still be fully right, but you can have an understanding. And that's Biggest question that I love to ask is, why does it make perfect sense that they're making the decision that they're making? Because most people don't just do things out of spite or arbitrarily. There's conditioning. There's reasons behind this. And so when you just pose that question and let you look at the world so you get to step into their shoes, but you're not looking at it through your eyes of how you would handle the situation. You're looking at through their eyes. How would they actually handle the situation? And why are they handling the situation the way that they are?
- [50:06]
B
I want to finish up talking about your book.
- [50:07]
A
It's coming out.
- [50:08]
B
Let's talk about it.
- [50:09]
A
Yeah, this has been quite the process. I'm really excited about it. So it's Let it settle Daily habits to move you from chaos to calm. So it's really looking at the different places in our life that chaos exists. And so I break it into three different sections. The first being the times when we are feeling chaos around fear, anxiety, and the feeling of not being grounded. And the second section is all about the chaos that exists when you feel like you are far from home, that you need to come home to yourself. Those feelings of abandonment, of loss of self. And then the third section is honoring connection and the chaos that can exist when you can't understand how to empathize with someone, when there's forgiveness that's needed, when you have a moment where you need to let go of something. And so through each chapter, I take you through either a personal story of how I worked through that or a client who I've worked with, who has worked through that to kind of exemplify the tool that I'm giving you. So each chapter ends with the process of. So if it's letting go that we're talking about, it's the process of letting go. And then there's also the Calm Kit tool. So throughout the book, you're building this Calm Kit, which just gives you things to pull from in times of chaos when you need to let it settle.
- [51:29]
B
I'm looking forward to that. When does it come out?
- [51:31]
A
Comes out September 24th. MichaelGallien.com Books is a great place. I have all of the links for Barnes and Noble, Amazon Books, a million, anywhere that you can find your books. There's also a guided journal that goes along with it that's coming out a few months later. So in November that will come out. But that takes you through every chapter and gives you guided prompts and practices to do Cool.
- [51:56]
B
And do you, do you. Is there an audio version?
- [51:58]
A
There's an audiobook that was just recorded, so that's coming out, I believe, a month after the book.
- [52:04]
B
So did you do it or did you.
- [52:06]
A
Of course I did.
- [52:07]
B
I'm like, you must have done it. So do you recommend reading the book or listening to the book?
- [52:13]
A
I want you to buy the book. Of course, you know, it's, that's important to me. But I do think the audiobook is, you know, it's my, it's. It's me telling my story in a lot of ways, which I think is interesting. And I think there's some, you know, gives you an understanding of the inflection of kind of the words in a different way.
- [52:31]
B
I asked that only because I bought, I mean, like, probably the most glaring example of this for me is I bought Matthew McConaughey's Greenlight book. Yeah, I read the book and then someone said, you've got to listen to the book. Because he narrates the book and I listened to the book and it was like two very different experiences.
- [52:53]
A
I will say in the book, every chapter ends with guided meditations. They're written in the book. On the audiobook, I actually guide you through. That's so cool. Which was cool. The audio engineers were, they were like, we don't usually get to do this.
- [53:10]
B
And then of course, your podcast. Letting it Settle.
- [53:13]
A
Yeah, letting it Settle. Which is on hiatus right now. I'm taking a little break, but coming back beginning of October.
- [53:19]
B
Cool. Where can the folks listening follow along your journey, potentially engage and work with you?
- [53:26]
A
So michaelgallion.com has all my information. So that has links to the book, the podcast has links to coaching sessions. If you're interested, interested in booking a one on one coaching session or a package, that's where you would go otherwise. Social media is where I am a lot. So that's Michael Galleon on instagram and coach Michael1 on TikTok.
- [53:51]
B
Do you have any pre recorded guided meditations that people can participate in?
- [53:58]
A
I do. So there's. I actually have a, a membership which is a on demand video membership, which is just the years of live classes that I've done, I've recorded and they're all on there.
- [54:08]
B
Very cool.
- [54:09]
A
Yeah.
- [54:10]
B
Michael, I feel so much lighter now hanging out with you for an hour. I really appreciate you coming to, to meet with me and to share your, your journey and how you've been able to help so many people just sort of get connected with themselves. You know, I, when I was really looking forward to this because I'm in this place, I'm human.
- [54:33]
A
Yeah.
- [54:34]
B
And I'm in this sort of spot personally right now where I'm kind of struggling, feeling totally connected, you know, and my head's in a bazillion places and it's all really great things, but it doesn't mean that I. They're not distractions. They're distractions in my life, you know? And I know that really where the important lies in my being able to be present is in feeling connected in my. In my being, feeling present in my own skin.
- [55:09]
A
Yeah. To experience every moment.
- [55:11]
B
Yeah. Thank you so much, man.
- [55:14]
A
Thank you for having me.
- [55:15]
B
Really appreciate it.
- [55:16]
A
Of course.
- [55:18]
B
There you have it, folks. That was such a good conversation with Michael. And definitely buy his book. Definitely buy his book. Definitely follow him on social media. That's sort of where my friend Justin introduced me to Michael and then I started following along on his content. And, you know, the beauty of his content is you can literally go onto his Instagram feed and just scroll. I do. I've done it a number of times where I just kind of scrolled and then I've stopped and I've hit one of his posts and it kind of resets me because it's maybe a 30 second reminder to just like, be calm, be cool, take a breath, breathe in, breathe out, smile and let go on with your day. And sometimes that's all it takes for me anyway. And I would imagine if it works for me, it could work for you too. So I'm really, really grateful for Michael joining us here. And if you liked this episode as much as I enjoyed hosting it, please share it with a friend. Share it with. Share it with a neutral person, share it with a foe. Share it with anyone who you think would really appreciate it. And follow Michael. Listen to his podcast, buy his book, and it would mean the world to me if you would be so kind to review this podcast and if you're feeling super duper kind with a cherry on top, give us a five star rating. It really does help us grow the podcast, get in front of more people and continue making this content for you. Because I love doing it and I want to get it in front of as many people as possible. And there you have it, folks. I hope we delivered some valuable content for you to implement into your life on a daily basis. Please remember that our habits have the power to make us or break us. Replacing bad habits with great ones is the answer to living a life of happiness, optimism, and high performance. We are capable of achieving anything. We all have what it takes to give it all we've got. Commit to one great habit each day and truly commit. And watch how everything in your life starts evolving from good to great. If you enjoyed this podcast, please follow us wherever you listen to your podcast. Give us a five star rating and a nice review that will help us grow this podcast, bring on more amazing guests, and continue to deliver invaluable content on a weekly basis. Lastly, please share this podcast with any friends or family that you think might appreciate it. And always remember, want plus do equals have until the next one Fam Peace.