Summary4 min read

Kreatures Of Habit Podcast

Host: Michael Chernow
Episode: Power Is In The Pause | Monday Moments
Date: October 6, 2025

Episode Overview

In this solo "Monday Moments" episode, host Michael Chernow explores the crucial difference between reacting and responding—emphasizing how a simple pause, driven by self-awareness, can dramatically affect our relationships and outcomes. Drawing on personal experiences and everyday scenarios, Michael introduces "the power is in the pause" as a guiding mantra, encouraging listeners to adopt this habit for improved interactions and better decision-making.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Nature of First Thoughts and Reactions

[00:10] Michael highlights that our immediate first thoughts are often automatic—driven by habit or past experiences, sometimes even trauma.
These first thoughts are not always positive ("Our first thought is typically not awesome"), and the crux of growth is in how we handle them.

Quote: “We don’t really have control over our first thought. Our first thought is, in many cases, subconsciously provoked.”
— Michael Chernow [00:23]

Responding vs. Reacting

[01:10] Explains that the difference is how we act on our first thought: immediate reaction vs. intentional response.
Immediate reactions often lead to unnecessary conflict (“the downfall to all relationships and every bad thing…came on the backside of a reaction”).
Response, on the other hand, involves conscious choice and consideration, typically leading to better outcomes.

Quote: “The difference between reacting and responding is what we do with that first thought. That’s all it is.”
— Michael Chernow [01:30]

Practical Example: Domestic Conflict

[02:15] Uses a classic example: forgetting to take out the garbage.
- The instant reaction might be defensive (“I do enough here!”)
- Instead, practicing a pause allows space for empathy and accountability (“Hey baby, I’m so sorry. You’re totally right…”)
This deliberate pause prevents escalation and can “save the day.”

The Power of the Pause

[03:40] Michael asserts that “the power is in the pause”—recommending listeners make this a mantra for the week.
The pause gives time to process and choose the response rather than falling into a reaction.

Quote: “The power is in the pause. That is where all the power lives.”
— Michael Chernow [03:55]

Applying the Pause in Different Contexts

[04:15] Email Communication:
- Michael describes writing a response to a difficult email but waiting 12-24 hours before sending. “Nine out of ten times, I make edits—the edits come from the pause.”
Meetings:
- In meetings, pausing before speaking helps him determine whether his input is necessary or simply self-serving.
- Trusts the collective process, knowing that necessary points will be addressed, even if not by him directly.

Quote: “If I’ve done my job right in a meeting with multiple people, chances are what I need to say will either get said by somebody else, or the outcome will be reached.”
— Michael Chernow [06:21]

Self-Awareness as a Foundational Habit

The ability to pause hinges on self-awareness.
Being mindful of when to contribute vs. when to hold back is a sign of maturity and trust in oneself and the team.

Key Reflection

Michael circles back to how most relationship issues are rooted in unchecked reactions, proposing that listeners honestly reflect on their own experiences and consider the validity of this insight.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“The decisions we make on a consistent basis truly define who we are as human beings.”

— Michael Chernow [00:19]

“Most the downfall of most relationships and bad things that have happened where you were at fault have come on the backside of a reaction.”

— Michael Chernow [07:01]

Mantra for the Week:

“The power’s in the pause.”

— Repeated throughout, notably at [03:55], [05:21], [07:10]

Timestamps for Important Segments

[00:10] What is the difference between reacting and responding?
[01:30] The impact of immediate reactions on relationships
[02:15] Example: Managing conflict with a partner
[03:40] The mantra: “Power is in the pause”
[04:15] Applying the pause to email communication
[05:00] The role of the pause in meetings and group settings
[06:30] Building self-awareness through deliberate pauses
[07:01] Reflection: examining reactions as the source of conflict

Episode Tone and Voice

Michael’s delivery is energetic, conversational, and occasionally humorous (“Monday, Monday, Happy, happy Monday!”). His storytelling feels personal and relatable, using everyday scenarios and honest self-reflection to drive his key message home.

Summary Takeaway

This episode champions the transformative habit of pausing before reacting—be it in personal relationships, professional settings, or digital communication. Michael invites listeners to elevate their self-awareness and adopt “the power is in the pause” as a weekly mantra, promising less conflict and more intentional living as a result.

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Transcript1 lines

[00:00]
A
The difference between reacting and responding is what we do with that thought. That's all it is. What's going on? Podcast family. My name is Michael Chernow, and this is the Creatures of Habit podcast. Our habits will make us or they will break us. I've lived on both sides of the tracks and have experienced some of the best and the worst that habits have in store. The decisions we make on a consistent basis truly define who we are as human beings. This episode will be a solo episode where traditionally I interview guests. This is a solo episode where I share with you guys experiences that I've had, things that are relevant in my life today that I think could potentially be interesting for you to hear, things that I simply just want to share or quotes or activities that I've done over the last few weeks that have inspired me. So sit back, relax, and get out your pen and paper, because what you hear in this podcast could potentially make some big changes in your life. Let's go. What's up, guys? It is Monday, guys and gals. Monday. Monday. Happy, happy Monday Monday Moments, creatures that have a podcast. You're listening. I hope you're stoked. All right, I want to talk to you guys about the difference, the massive difference between response and reaction. I could honestly say the downfall to all relationships and every bad thing that's happened in your life that you were at fault for came on the backside of a reaction. You see, we don't really have control over our first thought. Our first thought is, in many cases, subconsciously provoked. It's there to protect us. It's there out of habit. Potentially it's there from trauma. But our first thought, the first thought that comes to mind when somebody says something that we don't like, when we hear the word no. When you find somebody doing something that upsets you, somebody walks into the room that you don't like. Our first thought is typically not awesome. The difference between reacting and responding is what we do with that thought. That's all it is. I'm going to say that again. The difference between reacting and responding is what we do with that first thought. So you're talking to your husband or your wife, your partner, business partner, girlfriend, or boyfriend, and they say something that you don't like. The first thought is, I've got to defend myself. I don't. That. That. That rubbed me the wrong way. I'm going to defend myself. Chances are, if you immediately go into I'm going to defend myself mode, you will initiate a battle. It could be over the smallest thing, the smallest Thing, you come home from work, your husband or your wife or partner, whatever, says, hey, I asked you to take out the garbage on your way to work this morning. And you. And you didn't do it. And you, you left it in the can. And your first thought is, I was in a rush, whatever. It's not a big deal. God, like, I do enough here, right? If you react on that, how do you think your partner is going to react back? Because chances are they will. A lot of people don't prioritize self awareness and the pause. So the power is in the pause. The power is in the pause. That is where all the power lives. So when someone says something to you just like that, you come home from work, your partner says, I asked you to take out the garbage on your way to work this morning. You didn't take out the garbage. First thought, I'm busy. I do enough. I forgot. I'm sorry. Whatever. No big deal. Like, I'll do it now. Okay? You hear? You heard that thought. Now time to practice the pause. Take a breath. Give it a minute. Hey, baby, I'm so sorry. You're totally right. Like, I should have taken out the garbage. I'm really sorry. I promise you I will do better next time you ask me to do that. Now, that will not kick off a battle, a fight, an unnecessary scuffle that could ruin a day. That's a small example of this react, respond thing. Something I like to do is if I get an email that I'm not really excited about, or if I had a conversation that didn't go awesome or super well, or if I have to deliver some news to somebody that is really big news but bad news. What I will do is I will write out an email and I will give myself 12 to 24 hours before I send it. Because nine out of 10 times when I do that, when I open up that email again the next day or at the end of the day to read it before I send it, I make edits. And those edits are the pause. Those edits come from the pause. If I could leave you with a mantra today for the week, the mantra is the power is in the pause. I have to use that so much. I have to use that so, so, so, so much. The power's in the pause. You know, I've learned so much for just breathing and not, not reacting. And sometimes, you know, if I'm sitting in a meeting and I feel like my voice, I feel like I want to. Want to add to the meeting, but it's really not necessary. It's just to hear, you know, it's just to get my two cents in. And this is where like self awareness really needs to be like totally turned up. I just won't say it unless it's totally necessary. I just won't say it because typically if I'm at in a meeting with people that I trust and have confidence in my on my team and there's multiple people in the meeting and if I've done my job right, like we've walked into that meeting with an agenda and a mission and an ideal outcome, if the people on that meeting, obviously if I'm alone on that meeting, I will still consider adding little pieces here and there that are not absolutely necessary to add if it doesn't actually feed into the ideal outcome of the meeting. But, but if I've done my job right in a meeting with multiple people, chances are what I need to say will either get said by somebody else or the outcome will be reached in one way, shape or form if that is what is meant to happen. And of course I'll open my mouth if I feel like it's totally necessary. But I really have tried my absolute best to just pause and truly respond to life and not react. I started off the podcast by saying most the downfall of most relationships and bad things that have happened where you were at fault have come on the backside of a reaction. If you really sit back and think of that, think about that. I promise you will find true validity and truth there. Mantra of the week Powers in the pause. Love you, appreciate you. Till the next one.