Loading summary
Transcript5 lines
- [00:00]
A
I am not a guy or a person who really ever believes perfection is attainable. I like to. I like to run towards it. I'm very happy with excellence, but perfection. I don't think I've ever done anything perfectly outside of the Return to Self Men's retreat. I can confidently say it was perfect. It was perfect. I would not change a single thing. And why? What's going on?
- [00:34]
B
Podcast family. My name is Michael Chernow and this is the Creatures of Habit podcast. Our habits will make us or they will break us. I've lived on both sides of the tracks and have experienced some of the best and the worst that habits have in store. The decisions we make on a consistent basis truly define who we are as human beings. This episode will be a solo episode where traditionally I interview guests. This is a solo episode where I share with you guys experiences that I've had, things that are relevant in my life today that I think could potentially be interesting for you to hear, things that I simply just want to share or quotes or activities that I've done over the last few weeks that have inspired me. So sit back, relax, and get out your pen and paper because what you hear in this podcast could potentially make some big changes in your life. Let's go.
- [01:36]
A
What up, y'? All? Welcome back to Monday Moments, Creatures of Habit podcast. If you're listening to this on a Monday, congratulations. Welcome to the beginning of the week. I want to just give a little recap about the last month of my life, but really what I want to focus on is the men's retreat that I hosted at my property about three and a half, four weeks ago. So this was something that I had been dreaming of for a long time. I wanted to get a bunch of dudes and if you're a female listening to this podcast, thank you. Thank you. For me, it has nothing to do with male, female. It has to do with the fact that I do believe that men need to be together and to connect and to bond. And I feel like it is much harder for men to do that on a regular basis. So I just got a calling to host men coming together to connect and to bond and to hopefully. My plan was to sort of purge some emotional, some suppressed emotions that men tend to get very comfortable suppressing and keeping inside and letting them out. So the retreat was called Return to Self and it was June 19th through the 23rd. So it was a long stint. It was a four day retreat and I thought that that was enough time for dudes to really connect, get to know each Other build a bond. And let me tell you something that happened. I am not a guy or a person who really ever believes perfection is attainable. I like to run towards it. I'm very happy with excellence. But perfection. I don't think I've ever done anything perfectly outside of the Return to Self men's retreat. I can confidently say it was perfect. It was perfect. I would not change a single thing. And why. The 30 men that showed up showed up ready to work. And this was not a fitness retreat. This was not a, like, all hangout, smoke cigars, talk about the giants retreat. This was a, hey, we're getting together to work. We're gonna do breath work. We're gonna meditate, we're gonna do some writing. We're gonna do some rites of passage stuff. We had some really incredible practitioners that showed up. They came with some traditional plant medicine, not psychoactive plant medicine, like cleansing plant medicine. We did something called combo, which I was very, very scared of, to be honest with you. I was super sc. It's a medicine from the Amazon, and it actually, it comes from a frog. It's like this frog secretion that you apply to a little burn that you put on your arm or on your chest or on your back. And it basically cleans out your system. It makes you feel really nauseous, really uncomfortable. Your whole body heats up, and then you purge, you throw up. And you don't throw up food. You only throw up bile. I was really surprised. It really. It cleans out like your gallbladder, your liver, and it was very uncomfortable, but it was super cleansing. I'm happy I did it. I was really scared to do it. We did another one called sananga, which is an eye drop, which, you know, you basically drop into your eyes, and it burns like hell. It like you feel like you're, you know, the front of your face is going to fall off for about five minutes, but then you open your eyes once it's over, and it's just. You are, like, crystal clear. It is, like, unbelievable. And so these medicines are these warrior medicines, these medicines that are done in the Amazon traditionally for men before they go hunting, so that they're just sharp and tight and crisp. We did a couple of Native American traditional rites of passage that were. That were just groundbreaking. I guess this is a long way of saying men, hear me for a minute. We walk around with a lot of pressure, A lot of pressure. It's just truth. Men walk around with a lot of pressure. No matter where you're from, no matter what background you were raised in. Men just walk around with a lot of pressure. And I'm, and I'm not saying that women don't, but I am saying that men walk around with a lot of pressure that they very rarely relieve. The guys that showed up here all came ready to get vulnerable. And around the first. The initial sort of fire ceremony that we had, the initial circle that we had, every guy got up and started talking, and within five minutes of speaking, all started crying. And I was blown away by that. Not only was I blown away by the vulnerability from all the men, but I was blown away by the fact that, like, these emotions are in us and we rarely have an opportunity or take an opportunity to let them out, especially in today's climate. You know, like, I used to get a little uncomfortable talking about men's work because I don't want to get crucified. I don't want, I don't want people to think that I'm hopping onto this, like, you know, masculinity thing. But I am not ashamed to talk about men's work today. I think it's very, very important to talk about men's work because guess when you are a busy dude and, you know, potentially you're married, potentially you have kids, potentially you're running a company or you are, you're, you're, you're. You got. Your work is intense, stressful work, you very rarely have time for yourself. You very rarely have time for yourself.
- [07:34]
B
I could speak from experience.
- [07:36]
A
I run a company. It's very stressful. It's very stressful. I'm married, I've got two kids, two boys that I am. I. My life is dedicated to leading those men, those little, little dudes that I want to have. You know, I want them to walk into, into, into the world once they leave the nest feeling confident, feeling strong warriors, that's what I want. I want to lead them. I don't want to just be their dad. I want to lead them. So one thing, my commitment when leaving the retreat and everybody made a commitment, my commitment when leaving the retreat was to lead these boys and to have some sort of guidance in teaching me the best way to do that. And in one of the breathwork sessions, and if you've been following me for a while or listening to this podcast, you know how I feel about breathwork. Breathwork is just absolutely the most powerful form of therapy, self development work I have ever experienced. And it was cemented on 100% on this retreat because we did a lot of breathwork. And my God, like, it was powerful for every one of us. But in the last breathwork session, I walked in with the intention of, you know, asking for guidance on how to lead these. These boys to the best of my ability. And I saw something that I was so surprised by. The whole entire breathwork session, the vision that I had was of my son Finn looking up at me. I didn't see his whole face. I just saw his eyes in this breathwork looking at me, like, looking into my soul. And what I learned from that or what I took from that or how I interpreted that is my sons are my freaking teachers. They are my teachers. I could do what I think is right to lead them, but they are going to teach me. And the way I'm going to learn from them is the more I look into their eyes, meaning the more attention I give to them, the stronger men they'll be. Boys want their fathers. I did not have that as a kid. I did not have that attention from a father. And, you know, it played out many ways in my life. Now I can say that it's made me the guy I am today. And I'm not unhappy with who that person is, but, man, like, it just put so much into perspective for me when I saw that vision, when I just saw my son Finn looking at me, looking up at me. What I've been doing with both of my sons ever since that retreat is having staring contests. And that has been a way for me to look into their eyes every day and build confidence in them. Because every time they look away, I'm like, why did you look away? And I asked them the question, why'd you look away? And it's so interesting to hear their responses. And it tends to be fear based discomfort, right? Like staring in someone's eyes, that's like vulnerability. That's real. So I know that that sounds a little hokey pokey, but, man, I guess I'm turning into a hokey pokey dude. Because a lot of the things that I've been doing and talking about over the last, you know, many months has been a little out there. This men's retreat was incredible. And it. I have a calling to it. I have a real calling to it. I'm going to do this. I'm going to host men and give us a place to be vulnerable. I felt so light. I felt so present on that last day. I was so in tune, so in tune, so in tune. I don't think I've ever been that in tune. And that was work. It was just work. You know, I heard something recently about being in nature and quiet. And what was said was, you know, it's not that God or the universe or however you kind of want to, whatever you want to say speaks louder when you're alone in nature. It's just quiet enough to hear better. And that resonated with me. I'll be talking more about these men's retreats because I'm very passionate about it. It just falls right in line with my mission in life is, you know, better habits, better life. It's just. It's just something that I now know I have to do. And so you'll probably hear me talk about when the next event is coming and if you're interested in it, you know, shoot me a DM or, you know, there'll be ways to connect on that. But if you can't make it to a retreat, I just, I encourage men to get together outside of their family, outside of, you know, work. And even if it's just to chill, even if it's just a chill, like laughing and getting real with other men, for men is a very, very important thing and has fallen out of culture because we're so consumed with our phones, we're so consumed with our work, we're so consumed with our families, which I think is very important, of course. But I do believe, actually, I don't believe I know that it is necessary for men to connect with other dudes in a vulnerable way. And so with that, I'm going to close this Monday moment. Pass this podcast off to somebody that you think may need to hear it. If you're a wife or a girlfriend and you think that your significant other could use this, send it their way. That's the, that's the rent I'm asking you to pay for this podcast today. I appreciate you. I love you. Thank you for tuning in. Give us a five star rating and a review. Subscribe to this thing. Subscribe to it. It's how we grow. Appreciate you all. Peace.