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Kreatures Of Habit Podcast
The Mindset Shift That Healed My Relationship With My Father | Monday Moments
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I would battle with my dad a lot, and I would call my grandmother, and my grandmother gave me this mantra. Bless you. Change me, you're never going to be able to change anyone. Humans can't actually change humans. They can influence others. But you are not going to be able to change your father. He is who he is, and he is stubborn and he thinks the way he thinks, and you're not going to be able to change him. But there is something that you can do. You can change how you receive him. An entrepreneur straight out of New York City, Michael Chernow. What's cracking? What up, y'? All? Welcome back to the Creatures of Habit podcast Monday. Moments. Little pieces of gems, little gems that I think about throughout the week that I like to share with you guys as the community. This week, I want to talk about. I want to tell you a story. I want to tell you a story. And there'll be a moral to this story, but when I was a young kid, I had a really rough relationship with my father. My father and I really, really butted heads. We banged hard. You know, we fought verbally and physically, and it was not fun and it was not pretty. However, my grandmother, my father's mother was arguably the most influential person in my life. Her name was Grandma Chickie. She was about 4, 4 foot 11, this little Sicilian woman. Sicilian, French, I think. And she. She was one of the most powerful people I had in my life. Incredibly spiritual. So she helped me open the doors to spirituality as a very young kid. She used to. She was a practicing. She was a practicing Buddhist, and she had a Buddhist shrine on her wall, on the wall and in her guest bedroom. And she used to meditate at the shrine. But also she taught all of my sister and I and our cousins the Buddhist mantra, nam yum ho rengen kyo. I still don't know what it means, but I remember my grandmother teaching it to us. And we would run around the house singing, nam yum ho rengenkyo. Nam yamho rengen kyo. I think it means something really good. I should probably look up what that means. Let's just try AI real quick. Hey, Siri, what does namyam ho rengenkyo mean? Here's an answer from World Tribune.org Nichirin says the Nam Myom Ho Rengenkyo encompasses the five major principles of name, essence, quality, function, and teaching. He does so to indicate that namyam ho rengenkyo is the crystallization of the wisdom and compassion of the Buddha who wishes to free all people from suffering. And further, that it contains all possible benefit and good fortune. I knew it meant something good, but my grandmother was incredibly influential in my life, and it was such a. The juxtaposition between my relationship with my grandmother and my relationship with her son. My father was intense. I loved my grandmother with all my heart. And my father and I. I struggled with love for him. I love him now. He's been dead for many years. He's passed away a long time ago. And I have real love for him. And honestly, I could say I wish he was still around, because I'd love to be able to talk to him. Not having a father for most, like most of my life, if not all of my life, because he wasn't really involved when he was here and. And. And it was pretty tough when he was. So I would battle with my dad a lot and I would call my grandmother. And my grandmother gave me this mantra that I have now tattooed on my arm. If you're watching this, you could see it's tattooed right here. It says, bless you, change me. What does that mean? My grandma used to say, you know, honey, you're never going to be able to change anyone. Humans can't actually change humans. They can influence others. But you are not going to be able to change your father. He is who he is, and he is stubborn and he thinks the way he thinks, and you're not going to be able to change him. But there is something that you can do. You can change how you receive him. And so. And I was probably around, I don't know, I mean, she. She started talking to me about, bless you, change me. Probably when I was like 11 or 12 years old when things started to get really bad at home. And she said, you know, honey, when you guys walk, when you walk into the house and you feel like there's a fight, gonna, you know, fight a bruin, just close your eyes and say, bless you, change me. Bless you, change me. Bless you, change me. And what that means is that you're basically asking God or the universe or whoever, the higher, you know, the greater, greater being, is to just bless the person that you battle with with all of the glory, all of the light, all of the optimism, all of the positivity, everything that they're just. That they're just showered with positivity. And whether that changes them or not is none of your business. And it doesn't matter. The change me part is I know that I'm not going to be able to change that person. So in order for me to be successful in this relationship, in any way, shape or form, I have to change the way I receive them. So if I am reactive to something that they say, I need to change that. If I get defensive to something that they say or something that they do, I need to change that in order to have a successful situation or a successful relationship. And sometimes you're forced into these relationships, whether it's a parent or a boss or a co worker. When we are going to be presented with people that are going to grind our gears or rub us the wrong way all throughout life, and in some cases we're not going to be able to remove ourselves from these people. We're just not. So you can sit and suffer in a relationship or you can use the mantra, bless you, change me. It is so powerful in my life that I got it tattooed on my arm. I got it tattooed on my arm because if I can practice that, I win. If I can really believe when I close my eyes and say, bless you, change me. Just ask the creator to bless that person with all their glory. Just pour goodness onto that person. And now it's my job to change the way I respond to what they say, do, or potentially are thinking. Bless you, change me is a powerful one, friends. It really, really is. And it's been a pillar in my life and I wanted to share it with you guys today. Share this podcast with someone that you think may need it and I'm super grateful for you guys listening in every week. I love doing this podcast. I love being able to share the things that cut through my brain throughout the week that I make little notes on to be able to share with the community this along with the brain Dump. So if you're not on our email list for the newsletter, I send out a newsletter every Friday that's similar to the Monday moments where, you know, we talk about. I share about things that are, you know, kicking around, tools that I'm using, products that I love, quotes that I have come across that have really made me think, books that I'm reading, all sorts of cool stuff comes out in the Friday. We call it the brain dump, the creatures habit brain dump. So if you're not subscribed to that, subscribe to that and you can do that on our website and share this podcast with friends and family because it means the world to me. That's how we grow it. If you would be so kind and you want to drop us a five star rating and review, that would be wonderful. That would be super wonderful. I do read those reviews and they mean a lot to me. Until the next one, friends. Have a great week. Peace.