Why Judging Others is Causing the Male Loneliness Epidemic | Michael Chernow | Monday Moments - Kreatures Of Habit Podcast

Summary4 min read

Kreatures Of Habit Podcast

Episode: Why Judging Others is Causing the Male Loneliness Epidemic

Host: Michael Chernow
Date: June 1, 2026

Episode Overview

In this “Monday Moments” episode, Michael Chernow delves into the link between judgment and the male loneliness epidemic. Drawing on personal experiences, Michael explores how the human tendency to judge—both others and oneself—creates barriers to genuine connection and happiness, particularly for men. He urges listeners to reflect on their own habits of judgment and provides actionable advice for fostering better relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Loneliness Epidemic and Its Roots

Loneliness is prevalent, especially among men:
- “There is a massive loneliness epidemic in the world today. There's so much conversation and so much content around men and loneliness.” (00:17)
Judgment as a core barrier to connection:
- Michael posits that much of male loneliness stems from the habit of judging others and ourselves, hindering new relationships and deepening isolation.
- “I would argue to say a lot of it has to do with our judging. Sometimes you just gotta open up and give people more of a shot...” (00:25)

Human Nature and the Ego’s Role

Judgment is instinctive but harmful:
- “I think humans are conditioned to judge. I really do. I think it's very, very difficult to not judge at all.” (01:00)
Ego fuels judgment out of self-protection:
- “Our ego is the catalyst for our judging because our ego wants to protect us and potentially sees all other humans as a potential threat to our happiness.” (01:17)

The Impact of Social Media

Amplifies ‘compare and despair’:
- “I would also say that social media has put judgment on crack because we are constantly judging ourselves against others… the compare and despair, right?” (02:00)
Judging others as we judge ourselves:
- “When you are constantly judging yourself… now you are going to be a judger, and you will be judging others as hard as you judge yourself.” (02:25)

The Cost of Judgment on Relationships

Judgment limits opportunities for connection:
- “If you judge everybody that you meet and you… don’t like one or two things about them… ultimately xing them out… it just eliminates the ability to develop these awesome personal relationships.” (03:22)
Personal anecdote—moving and making new friends:
- He struggled to make friends after relocating due to being overly judgmental about shared interests or career paths.
- “If someone wasn’t a hard charger or had their own business or was some sort of an entrepreneur, like I felt like I didn’t have something to connect with them about. And that's such bs.” (04:05)
Shed harsh judgment, gain meaningful relationships:
- “In the last two years I have changed that because I am way more self-aware now. I have made more friends in the last two years than I probably had in the last 10. And I have made some really, really good friends, like my buddy Rob Mull, my buddy Matty Christofferson…” (05:02)

Strategies to Combat Judgment and Foster Connection

Be open and give people a chance:
- “Sometimes you just gotta open up and give people more of a shot, right? Because if you judge out the gate, it's kind of over.” (06:02)
Mindfulness practice:
- Invite curiosity about your own reactions: “If you see that you, like, intuitively judge somebody… be mindful of it… then take a breath and say, you know what? Like, why am I judging that person?” (07:03)
Empathy over assumption:
- “If you're in a meeting or a conversation at work and somebody says something that you don't like, don't judge. Try your best not to judge, because you have no idea what that person has gone through or is going through in their lives.” (07:23)
- “It is worthwhile to try to see something through somebody else's eyes. And that'll also help you in the world of judgment.” (08:08)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On self-awareness and friendship:
- “To bring guys in… to my inner circle, like, when I look forward to calling them… I really just look forward to these guys in my life, hanging out with them and having a good time. And it's just a special thing. And it's because I have… pulled the wool on my judging, and I've seen the shift.” (05:41)
On everyday mindfulness:
- “It's not uncommon. It's very common. But be mindful of it… and say, you know what? Why am I judging that person?” (07:09)
On personal responsibility and growth:
- “You are the sum of the five people you hang out with, which I do think is valid to some point. But I also know that sometimes you just gotta open up and give people more of a shot.” (06:10)

Suggested Actions

Practice daily awareness:
- Notice when a judgmental thought arises—pause and reflect rather than acting on it.
Challenge your criteria for connection:
- Question limiting views about what makes someone ‘friend material.’
Choose empathy over assumption:
- Consider that everyone is fighting their own battles; try to see through their eyes.

Key Segment Timestamps

Opening theme & purpose of episode: 00:00–00:17
Link between judgment and loneliness: 00:17–01:17
Social media’s effect: 02:00–02:35
Personal story—struggling with new friendships: 03:45–05:02
The shift to openness and new friendships: 05:02–06:02
Action steps and reflection for listeners: 07:03–08:08

Conclusion

Michael Chernow invites honest reflection on the role of judgment in our lives, especially for men facing loneliness. By reducing judgment and becoming more open, he believes happiness and authentic relationships naturally follow. The episode is an earnest call to practice empathy, drop harsh expectations, and courageously welcome new connections.

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[00:00]
A
The key component to happiness is the quality of our personal relationships. As the age. There is a massive loneliness epidemic in the world today. There's so much conversation and so much content around men and loneliness. And I would argue to say that a lot of it has to do with our judging. Sometimes you just gotta open up and give people more of a shot, right? Because if you judge out the gate, it's kind of over. An entrepreneur straight out of New York City, Michael Chernow. What's cracking? What up, y'? All? Welcome back to Monday Moments. Monday Moments. Monday Moments. Today, I want to talk about judgment and loneliness. I was having a really great conversation with a friend of mine in Los Angeles last week, and we were talking about judgment and how judgment could arguably be the hurdle for connectivity. Judgment of ourselves and also judgment of others. I think humans are conditioned to judge. I really do. I think it's very, very difficult to not judge at all. But judging other people really does prevent us from allowing other humans in. Our ego is the catalyst for our judging because our ego wants to protect us and potentially sees all other humans as a potential threat to our happiness. And so it inspires judging. And judging is. It's so difficult to steer clear of. I do pray every single day, and I ask God to help remove my judgments, my wrong thinking. Because I know the less I judge, the more connection I have or the more potential for connection I have. And it's a battle. It is a battle. But if you're listening to this podcast, I would encourage you to just think about it. Just think about it, because there is a massive loneliness epidemic in the world today, and especially with men. There's so much conversation and so much content around men and loneliness. And I would argue to say that a lot of it has to do with our judging. And I would also say that social media has put judgment on crack because we are constantly judging ourselves against others. When we scroll through social media, the. The compare and despair, right? We're constantly judging ourselves when we. When we have such access to other people's lives. And when you are constantly judging yourself when you know alone, it's very hard to deter that when you're in a group setting with others, because you're so used to judging yourself, now you are going to be a judger, and you will be judging others as hard as you judge yourself. And it's a disservice. It's a disservice because at the end of the day, the key component to happiness and longevity in life is the quality of our personal relationships as we age. And if you judge everybody that you meet and you, you give yourself the excuse to not want that person in because you don't like one or two things about them or they don't have as much in common with you as you'd like, so you judge them. Ultimately xing them out, not giving them any pathway in, it just eliminates the ability to develop these awesome personal relationships. And I'm here to say that I am in actual middle age. I'm 45 years old and there was a, there was a few years there in my early 40s that I was like, ah, you know what? Like I have such a hard time making new friends. Especially we moved upstate from New York City and all of my kind of people were in New York and la. We moved upstate and it was a requirement for me to like make new friends if I wanted to be happy. And I was having a hard time and it was because I was judging. So, so harsh, right? Like if, if someone didn't have, if someone wasn't a hard charger or had their own business or was some sort of an entrepreneur, like I felt like I didn't have something to connect with them about. And that's such bs. Human beings are human are like they, we don't have to have the exact same trajectory in order to become friendly. Now I'm not, I'm not saying, you know, go and be friends with people that are completely out of the, you know, that don't, that don't have anything in common with you, but don't be so harsh to judge if someone is not doing the exact same thing that you're doing or walking through life the exact same way you walk through life because you are truly shutting the door on the ability to develop relationships. And in the last two years I have changed that because I am way more self aware now. I have made more friends in the last two years than I probably had in the last 10. And I have made some really, really good friends like my buddy Rob Mull, my buddy Matty Christofferson, these two guys, I really love these guys and they're new people in my life. They're new people in my life. To be able to say that. There's two guys that I really, really like consider great friends. I just didn't know that I was, that that was going to be possible. And I think two is not a little. It's, it's, it's, it's not a lot, but it's certainly not a little right to, to bring guys In. To the. To, like, my inner circle, like, when I, like, look forward to calling them when I go to Austin or I go Or. Or. I mean, I see Maddie kind of everywhere, but I really just look forward to these guys in my life, hanging out with them and. And having a good time. And it's just a. It's a special thing. And. And it's because I have very clear. And I'm not saying that I don't have a lot in common with Maddie or Rob, but I am saying that I have just, like, sort of pulled the wool on my judging, and I've seen the shift. I really have. So if you are like me and judging others harshly is kind of, like, ingrained, because you kind of follow the. You are the sum of the five people you hang out with, which I do think is. Is. Is valid to some point. But I also know that sometimes you just got to open up and give people more of a shot, right? Because if you judge out the gate, it's kind of over. And giving people an opportunity to get to come in, give them a peek. Give them a peek inside. Allow that to happen. And I. I could promise you that, like, the doors will open and you will feel less lonely. So I don't know if this was for everyone. I do know that this is very real for me. And again, this community is. Is. Is. Is where I share the rawness. And so I just wanted to put that out there today. I hope you guys have an unbelievable week. I hope this struck a chord with some of you. And you know what? Today, give it a shot, right? Like, if you see that you, like, intuitively judge somebody, somebody the minute they walk through the door, be mindful of it. It's not uncommon. It's very common. But be mindful of it, and then take a breath and say, you know what? Like, why am I judging that person? If you're in a meeting or a conversation at work and somebody says something that you don't like, don't judge. Try your best not to judge, because you have no idea what that person has gone through or is going through in their lives, right? It's very hard for us to, like, look at something from someone else's perspective, because we do live in between our two ears, typically. But in some cases, like, it does make sense, and it is worthwhile to try to see something through somebody else's eyes. And. And that'll also help you in the world of judgment. All right, enough. Have a great day. Thank you for subscribing. And if you have not subscribed to this podcast. Please, please, please hit the subscribe button. It would mean a great deal also if you share the podcast and it would mean a great deal. I am super grateful for you guys. Super duper grateful for you. Until the next one, y'. All, Peace.