NFL Cover Zero: The Most Watchable Teams in the NFL
Podcast: KSR – iHeartPodcasts & Sports Talk 790 (WKRD-AM)
Episode Airdate: September 3, 2025
Hosts: Matt Jones and Drew Franklin
Producer: Billy
Special Context: The episode was recorded before the major Micah Parsons trade (Cowboys to Packers) but includes a preamble addressing it.
Episode Theme & Purpose
Kicking off the first-ever episode of NFL Cover Zero, Matt Jones and Drew Franklin set out to rank all 32 NFL teams by "watchability"—not based on X’s and O’s, stats, or historical greatness, but by how much fun they are to watch as a fan. The duo, whose friendship stretches over 17 years, promise an NFL podcast for the everyday viewer: light, opinionated, story-driven, and unconcerned with analytics (other than producer Billy chiming in with facts from a $74 Warren Sharp football preview book).
The playful, relatable tone is set early: “We’re just going to be like two guys, you know, sitting and talking about the games.” [00:38]
Pre-Show Note: Micah Parsons Trade
[00:44–07:12]
- Episode was taped before news broke: Micah Parsons traded from Cowboys to Packers (for Kenny Clark and two firsts, 4-year, $188 million extension).
- Acknowledgement that the Green Bay and Dallas rankings would be shuffled if they’d known.
- “If you hear the Packers rating...it would have been different had we known.” —Matt [02:18]
- Quick reactions:
- Drew laments the loss for Dallas as a Cowboys fan: “It’s a big PR hit. That city just lost Luka. Micah’s the other big star in that town.” [03:47]
- Matt jokes about Dallas’ perpetual rebuilding: “If you could have picked the worst time he could have made this deal, it would have been now...I’d love to play poker with you, Jerry [Jones].” [06:27]
- Drew’s wife was so upset she stopped watching the new Netflix Cowboys doc: “She’s out. Can't watch the rest of this. I’m too hurt.” [07:00]
How The Watchability Rankings Work
[10:14–14:02]
- No advanced stats (but the occasional Warren Sharp fact via Billy)
- “This is my, if the team is on my screen, do I want to watch them?” —Matt [10:14]
- Factors considered:
- Team quality (“Probably the main factor.” —Drew [10:41])
- Interesting players or play style
- Storylines and drama on/off field
- Home field/crowd/stadium/weather (Matt and Drew both give “snow bonus” points!)
- Visual/aesthetic appeal
- “Hate-watch” potential: Teams you love to root against [11:29]
- Snake draft format: alternating picks to create one composite 1–32 ranking
Most Watchable NFL Teams – Top 10
1. Kansas City Chiefs
[12:20] Drafted by Drew
- Reasons: Mahomes’ magic, always in close games, the “Taylor Swift Effect”
- “You’ve added the Swifties.” —Drew [12:50]
- Arrowhead Stadium, snow potential, legendary coaches/players, and newly boosted pop culture relevance.
- Fun Fact: “The 2024 Chiefs ranked 189th out of 192 in rate of passes thrown 15+ air yards...Mahomes is universally the best quarterback, with the 4th-worst deep ball rate.” —Billy [17:35]
- Notable moment: Matt on Andy Reid: “Looks like a Philadelphia cop, but a good one.” [13:45]
2. Buffalo Bills
[16:52] Drafted by Matt
- Great games, snow games, fanbase (Bills Mafia), dynamic offense with Josh Allen, tragic playoff history.
- “If Buffalo ever built a dome, I think they should have to forfeit.” —Matt [19:24]
- *Buffalo's “small market underdog” charm is invoked repeatedly.
- Fun Fact: In playoff losses over 5 years, Bills have averaged 24+ points, but their opponents: 33 points. [18:31] (Matt dismisses this as “not a shocking stat.”)
3. Cincinnati Bengals
[20:01] Drafted by Drew
- Burrow-to-Chase chemistry, non-stop shootouts, local Kentucky interest.
- Joe Burrow’s “dreamy” factor (“Do NOT let your girlfriend see Joe Burrow.” —Matt [20:25])
- Fun Fact: Only offensive line ranked 25th or worse for 4 straight years. —Billy [23:00]
- Stadium is literally beneath an interstate, next to a train.
4. Baltimore Ravens
[24:10] Drafted by Matt
- “It all comes down to Lamar.” (Jackson) —“The most exciting player in football.” —Matt [24:51]
- Also, new Derek Henry intrigue.
- Fun Fact: 23–24 in 1-score games since 2020. 18th-best in NFL—a thoroughly average stat. [25:54]
5/6. Tennessee Titans / Chicago Bears
Tie caused by hosts choosing their own teams, leading to good-natured bickering and ribbing.
- Titans: Drew’s boneheaded homer pick, but Cam Ward’s arrival brings some curiosity; otherwise “field is coming up,” stadium is shabby.
- “Cam Ward’s the only reason to watch the team, apparently.” —Matt [29:18]
- Fun Fact: Titans were 2–6 in 1-score games last year. [29:12]
- Bears: Ranked up due to potential of #1 pick Caleb Williams, iconic SNL mustache culture, unique RC Cola-only stadium.
- “You don't know what color his fingernails are gonna be.” —Matt on Caleb [27:56]
- Fun Fact: Caleb Williams took a league-high 68 sacks last year. [31:43]
7. Dallas Cowboys
[32:06]
- “America’s Team” brings the drama—never good enough, endless heartbreak, Troy Aikman’s disgusted commentary, high-wattage stadium.
- Drew: “Just the chaos of the Dallas Cowboys.”
- Fun Fact: Only 4 playoff wins since 1998; 4–12 postseason record in that time. [35:15]
8. Detroit Lions
[33:58]
- Dan Campbell’s intensity, rabid fan base, “costume factor” (Mario, Luigi, plumbers), recent offensive fireworks.
- Fun Fact: 2nd round pick Tate Ratledge “allowed just one sack in three years” at Georgia. [36:03]
- Running gag: Billy tries to book the little-known rookie as a podcast guest.
9. Philadelphia Eagles
[37:35]
- Defending champs but “boring-good,” no one loves the Tush Push (60% of Jalen Hurts’ rushing TDs).
- “I’m not going to put a team that Tush Pushes in the top 10.” —Matt [39:09]
- Fun Fact: 33 of Jalen Hurts’ career TDs are Tush Pushes (60% of all his rushing scores). [39:50]
10. Washington Commanders
[41:11]
- Upstart storylines (Jayden Daniels, close wins), historically downtrodden fanbase (“They just seem so happy.” —Matt [41:11])
- Fun Fact: Most successful 4th-down team in recent history (87% conversion in 2024). [41:55]
Rankings Highlights & Show Structure
- AFC dominates top-5; NFC loads up next five.
- Each pick is supported by anecdotes, local ties, and rants against personal nemeses (ex: Matt taking shots at Bill Simmons’ Patriots homerism [91:28]).
- Weather & Costume Bonuses: “Snow games” and cosplay-enthusiastic fans repeatedly push teams up the list.
- “I will turn off my favorite team to watch a sloppy snow game.” —Drew [11:57]
- Hate-watching is a legitimate factor (Cowboys, Steelers, Saints).
Notable Quotes & Moments
- Matt on fans and personal rooting interests:
“If you’re with a woman in Lexington…do not let her see Joe Burrow.” [20:25] - On Titans/Bears back-to-back picks:
“This podcast, we’ve ruined it right there.” —Matt [28:46] - On the Cowboys’ futility:
“Four playoff games in 27 years. I kind of hope they win now...I don’t like looking at Stephen A. in his cowboy hat.” [35:31] - On team atmospheres:
“If Buffalo ever built a dome, I think they should have to forfeit their team.” —Matt [19:24] “They have their own restaurant: 1587 Steakhouse, by Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes.” —Drew [14:59] - Running Gag: Billy’s Warren Sharp facts
- Sometimes hyper-specific or underwhelming, always delivered with a blend of pride and sheepishness:
“That stat is better if it’s flipped.” —Matt, unimpressed by one Warren fact [19:06]
- Sometimes hyper-specific or underwhelming, always delivered with a blend of pride and sheepishness:
- On stadiums and city quirks:
- “Their official soft drink is not Coke and it’s not Pepsi. It’s RC.” —Matt on Soldier Field [31:05]
- “Stadium’s too dark.” —On Saints and Colts (multiple times)
Quick Hits – Mid/Bottom Tier Notables
- Rams & Dolphins [63:38+]
- Rams “always solid for a 4:30 game,” McVay the “offensive wizard”; Dolphins: Tua’s excitement, Mike McDaniel’s dorky/awkward charisma, never-full stadium.
- Giants [75:02]
- “Fun for the anger.” Wild QB room with Russell Wilson, Jameis Winston, Jackson Dart.
- 49ers [77:14]
- Matt is “heavily invested in Brock Purdy being overrated.”
- Wildly high payroll: “One of two teams with 7 players making $19M+.”
- Seahawks [80:16]
- “Mr. Cortez Kennedy will find your house.” Deep cut on 1990s NFL marketing.
- Raiders [84:16]
- Pete Carroll, age 73, now the face of the brand, “will headbutt you.”
- Least Watchable Bottom Three:
- Panthers: “Charlotte is basically just one big bank...their stadium feels like a Bank of America lobby.” —Matt [103:39]
- Chargers: “Literally, no one is a fan.” COVID-era Zoom draft party had only one woman show up. [105:10]
- Colts: “Stadium’s too dark. Every game is 17–14. I can't think of anything that would make me want to tune into a Colts game.” —Matt [108:46]
Lightning Round: Fun Facts & Bizarre Stats
- Saints: #1 at drawing offensive holds for three years straight. [90:21]
- Patriots: Easiest schedule in AFC, 2nd-easiest in NFL this year. [95:04]
- Falcons: Haven’t won more than 8 games since 2017. [97:03]
- Jets: Haven’t had winning season since 2015. [98:40]
- Texans: Despite playoff success, 29th in offensive efficiency. [102:08]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 00:44–07:12 — Micah Parsons trade preamble
- 10:14–14:02 — Watchability ranking rules/statistics
- 12:20–14:59 — Chiefs and the “Taylor Swift Effect”
- 16:52–19:44 — Bills, “dome forfeiture,” Applebee’s jokes
- 20:01–24:10 — Bengals, Joe Burrow, Lexington stories
- 32:06–33:58 — Cowboys drama, “stadium too bright/light”
- 39:50 — Tush Push, Eagles and Jalen Hurts stat
- 41:11 — Washington’s 4th-down magic
- 51:16–52:25 — Packers, cheeseheads, Lambeau cold/snow
- 91:28–94:55 — Patriots ribbing, Peloton usernames (“Bike Vrabel”)
- 103:39 — Panthers-as-Bank observation
Final Thoughts
The podcast is breezy, funny, and appeals directly to fans more interested in the experience, spectacle, and the stories around NFL teams than in analytics or coaching jargon. The rankings blend love, hate, nostalgia, and randomness, with each team’s placement providing launchpads for stories and banter.
Even the running gags—like Billy’s desperate campaign to avoid wasting $74 on Warren Sharp’s book, or the hosts’ horror at each other’s home-team bias—underscore the tone: this is NFL talk for regular folks, not spreadsheet warriors.
Matt: “We just want you to have a good time with us.” [111:49]
Listen to NFL Cover Zero for:
- Relatable, non-technical football talk
- Off-the-cuff banter and old-school stadium/food quirks
- Hilarious NFL fandom “problems” and love/hate team rivalries
- An escape from stat-overload podcasts
Next week: Season preview, Week 1 matchups, and (hopefully) a guest appearance. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts!
