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- [00:00]
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Welcome to Kwik Brain Bite Sized Brain Hacks for busy people who want to learn faster and achieve more. I'm your coach, Jim Kwik.
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Free your mind.
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Let's imagine if we could access 100%
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of our brain's capacity. I wasn't high, wasn't wired, just clear.
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I knew what I needed to do and how to do it.
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I know kung fu. Show me.
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A
So what if one of the biggest lies in success culture is that when I reach this goal, then I will finally be enough? You know, I realized that burnout doesn't always come when, you know, when you're talking about high achievers, which many of you listening are on that success path. It doesn't always come from failure. Sometimes it comes from success, right? You hit these big wins and sometimes there's always something else. And maybe that if you're listening to this right now and you're at a different age or stage of life where you feel a little empty or saddened or the challenges with your mental health, you know, a lot of entrepreneurs listen to this. It might feel a little bit loneliness and you're wondering how do you reconcile going for these wins, right? And also not being motivated or feeling like a letdown, you know, a post. And so that's this episode. So welcome back to the Quick Brain Podcast. I'm your host and your brain coach, Jim Quick. I would imagine, I think one of the underlining. We always talk about first principles when we're talking about first principles in science and success, but also in your mindset is that one of the first principles that people, I think the wounds or the challenges that we face is this, this feeling that, that we're not enough. So if you're listening to us right now, this is going to be very, it's going to open your mind, but also really, I think, expand your, open up your heart. So I really, I think this is one of the most important episodes to listen to, especially in the world that we're in right now, where maybe you're feeling, you're constantly achieving or driven by something. But if you feel empty or let down, if you have challenges with your mental health, except for maybe struggle with depression, this is the episode for you. And we have a very special guest, someone I met well over a decade ago and an interesting dinner. We're going to talk to Blake Makowski and he is a philanthropist and New York Times bestselling author, probably most well known for founding toms, which really popularized the one for one model, where at that time you're buying shoes and then children got a pair of shoes. I think they've donated upwards of 100 million pairs of shoes to children. And we'll talk about that story. And I was actually a big inspiration for what we do. You know, for those of you who've gone through our speed reading, memory enhancement courses, Limitless, which has done a couple million copies sold, we've donated all those proceeds. We built schools starting back in 2011 in Ghana, Guatemala, Kenya, healthcare, clean water. You know, I think you learn to earn to be able to return. And so, Blake, I like that.
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B
I've never heard that.
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Learn to earn to return. Thanks for being on the show, buddy.
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B
Yeah, thanks for having me.
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I'm really excited for this conversation.
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B
Me too.
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So you have a new initiative which I'm very excited about, and congratulations and thank you for that. Not only what you do, but the manner you do it. Thank you. You ended up selling toms.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And what. Let's go into your story a little bit. Sure. What happened afterwards?
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B
Well, I mean, I think, you know, I started my first company. I was 18 years old. I love being an entrepreneur. I made some money and then I had the idea for Tom's and it was, okay, let's sell shoes so we can give children shoes. And I had no idea it would get as big as it did, but it got huge. I mean, when I sold it, the company was worth about $600 million and we gave away 100 million children's shoes. You would think that when I sold the company, I'd been at the height of my happiness.
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A
Right.
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B
I achieved everything like my parents wanted me to achieve, everything that I thought I wanted to achieve. I mean, I had the wife, the big house, the great friends. I mean, I literally, in some ways had it all. And I often say now, and it all had me. And I. And what that means was I. That was probably the beginning of what became like a really intense, like seven year depression. Because when I sold the company, I no longer had my purpose. That I woke up every morning with my community was still all the employees who were my friends at Tom's, which I was. I was no longer around every day. I was also one of my dreams was when I sold the company was to live in the mountains and snowboard every day. And so I didn't realize moving from California after living there for 17 years, that in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, gets dark at 5pm Almost every day during the winter. So just even that that had an effect. And those three things were the beginning of what caused me to have the first depression of my life.
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A
Wow.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And then what did that lead to? I mean, so many people. You know, if we're going to be raw and real here, I feel like a lot of people are. They're fighting battles no one knows about. Sure. Right. You don't usually see this on social media.
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B
No. You know, I didn't do social media for three years because I was so ashamed of how I felt. Three years. I didn't do one post.
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A
Wow. And so you feel the shame. Some people might struggle with imposter syndrome. Uh, a lot of people are listening, watching their. Their entrepreneurs. And it could be a. In. Loneliness is a. Is an epidemic, you know, when it comes to compromising our mental health, I
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B
experienced all of that. I mean, you know, how.
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A
How dark did it get?
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B
It got. It got really dark. After about five years of what I would call more cyclical depression, it got into what definitely was diagnosed as severe depression. And then for about six months, I thought about killing myself. And I even had a plan. I even, like, had the space, the day, the plan. And thank God, something inside of me said, you've got to tell someone what's going on in your head every day. And so I reached out to a couple of my friends, and I was like, every morning I wake up and I think about going to my boat. I used to live on a sailboat when I started toms. The happiest days of my life. It's so simple. And every day, the boats in San Francisco. I live in San Francisco, and I think about, okay, if I can just get to the boat, I can shoot myself on the boat. And that's what I. I couldn't stop thinking of it. I mean, it's because. That's why I'm so interested to talk to you today. And as I am, you know, as. As you know, I'm launching this podcast myself called no Magic Pill, that is really about exploring mental health and mental wellness. But my brain did not feel like it was working then. Like, it was like, literally, I couldn't control these suicidal thoughts. And it went on for months. And then finally I reached out to some people and they helped me get some help, but it was scary. It got that bad.
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A
What gave you the courage to. Because going to somebody and talking about those dark feelings and those dark thoughts, it takes a level of courageousness or boldness. Is it because you were in such a dark place that you're looking for a lifeline?
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B
Yeah, I think for a long time. And maybe I wouldn't even got to that Severe of a situation situation had I reached out and shared more what was going on at the beginning of the depressive cycle. And so that's one of the things that I really try to spend a lot of time doing now, especially on social media is like telling people like, hey, if you're feel if these things are happening in your life, like if you're starting to lose your appetite or you're not sleeping as well, or you're no longer the things you used to love, like surfing or playing golf, you don't get as much joy out of. You know, these things are starting to pop up. You need to start talking to someone then because that's when early stage you can, you know, really, you know, kind of get in there and figure out what's going on. You know, oftentimes I find with people who, especially high achievers and entrepreneurs that start to experience depression, there's a couple of things that I see pretty consistently that I definitely experience. I mean, the first one is, is this exactly what you're talking about is that we, you know, kind of attach our self worth and our value to our achievements. And so when you don't achieve that can cause you to feel depressed and down. But even when you do achieve, it almost is worse because you believe that when you got there, when you got to the top of the mountain, got your face on the COVID of Inc. Magazine, that was going to be the moment. And then when you do all that and it doesn't deliver, then it is almost more despair because you don't have anything else you can do. There's nothing more you can achieve. And if you still feel this way, then that's when I think, you know,
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A
really dark thoughts come in and it's not even logical. Right. Because it's, it's. But it is, it is biological. Yeah. I mean when you think about all those neurochemicals, those high of those dopamines.
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B
Yeah.
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You know, I can't imagine even people are performing on stages that are, I mean like to 80,000 people and the energy is so high and coming off of that.
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Yeah.
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You know, there's a lot of people that turn to other, other things that, whether it's alcohol or drugs or you know, or adrenaline just to kind of keep that high because your dopamine level is set so, so high.
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B
Yeah.
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So that's a big, that's a big crash.
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B
Yeah. No, I definitely feel like I had a dopamine addiction in a sense and definitely I had an addiction to external validation. That's what I really recognized when I started doing some deep therapy and inner work was at a very young age. I, for whatever reason, never felt that I was enough. And so I was constantly trying to win tennis matches to feel enough, and then starting businesses and then starting a business that helped people. And what I found was I was actually very good at satisfying the hole in my heart that I didn't feel enough by all this external validation. And I actually created a lot of it for a long time. And so once I sold the company and I kind of cut off my supply of that external validation, it was almost like being a drug addict and then like immediately having no access to your drug. And that's when I think the crash happened. But, you know, looking back now, I'm so glad, grateful that it did because it led me to, you know, get help, get a really good therapist, really do work around this core wound of not feeling enough and then ultimately healing it. And for the first time in my life, really feeling peace, really feeling joy, really feeling presence with my kids, with my friends, having a healthy relationship for the first time. And in all that, it led to my next purpose, which is this enough movement. And that's what I'm really excited about.
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A
And it's interesting to be able to. I wish people grace that they could look back one day at, you know, what they went through and realized that everything led them to the place they are today. Right. That with struggle came a level of strength.
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B
You know, I mean, your story is the same thing, right. If you didn't have the brain injuries you had, and if you didn't have, you know, the teachers say the things that they did to you about your brain not working, then you probably wouldn't have had the motivation to do the work, to learn what you did that then. Now you help so many people with.
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And it's interesting when people take that, that, that mess and turn it into a message.
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B
Yeah.
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You know, that. Yeah. That adversity can be an advantage. In science, there's something called, you know, I mean, we've all heard of post traumatic stress. We don't hear a lot about the light side of it, which is post traumatic growth, where you've come out on the other side and you won't wish. Where you went through adversity, difficulty, hardship that you wouldn't wish upon anybody. But you found something in it. Like you found a mission, you found a strength, you found a trade. You've maybe reconnected to a purpose to the point you have grace where you don't you want to change what happened because. Because it made you who you are today.
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B
Totally. Yeah. I mean, it's. For me, it's interesting. I was. I was talking to someone recently and I was like, you know, and I'm a pretty. You know, I believe in God. I believe in. There's something much bigger going on than just randomness in this world. And I said, you know, I think I actually maybe prayed too hard for purpose in my life. And I invited all the depression and the pain and the suffering because after I sold Tom's, when I was really in a despair state, I remember praying and being like, I just hope that someday I will get to live with purpose like I did all those years with toms. I hope that someday my heart will feel the same way that it felt when I gave shoes to kids in Cambodia. And now I getting to do that with enough and I get to build something very similar to Tom's all over again and help a lot of people. But I never would have been able to do that had I not gone through the suffering. So in some ways, I mean, I would never want to go through it again. And it was. I think I barely made it, but because I did make it, it prepared me to help a lot of people with this. And so I have. There's a great book called thank God for Depression. And. And I. I actually am thankful.
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There's some things you can only learn through a storm. Yeah, right. And some storms come to be able to clear. Clear your path.
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B
Totally.
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A
And what would you say? Some, like a big learning that you had or something you had to unlearn. Like if you were to give advice to that person that was building toms.
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B
Yeah.
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Like what. What would your advice, your current self advise that. That younger self, like, what did they. What did. What did he need to hear?
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B
I think one of the things I would want them to know is to be very aware of, I think what you call ants. Automatic negative thoughts. I had this automatic negative thought that was going on in my brain constantly that I wasn't enough. And I think if at an early age someone had said, hey, this is dangerous, like, this is not normal. You need to like address this now. It never would have gotten as bad as it gotten.
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So.
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B
So I think it's really self talk is so important. And so if you are regularly hearing something of I'm not lovable, I'm not enough, you know, I'll never be this. And if that's something that you think is motivating you, because that's the thing our Culture tells you that sometimes this inner critic is actually the thing that drives you for a long time. People told me when I my mental health was struggling, they're like, well, Blake, the reason you achieve so much is because you put so much pressure on yourself. If you didn't have that negative thoughts, you would never have achieved this. And that's bullshit. I mean, like, I'm. I feel like I am from a business entrepreneur flow state. I feel like I am in one that I've never been in before because all the pressure is gone. The pressure does not make you perform better. If anything keeps you out of the flow state. And that's one of our big principles that enough is. A lot of people say, like, okay, if I wear this bracelet, you know, if I wear this hoodie or T shirt that says I am enough, and I believe this, like, is that, like me kind of settling, like, I'm just enough, you know, like I'm, you know, but I want to be more than enough. And so what we found is interesting. We have this woman, Kristen Neff. I don't know if you know her work, but she wrote a book called Self Compassion, and she does a lot of research with the University of Texas. And she did this amazing study with NCAA athletes. And what she did was she took half the athletes and let them continue with their negative self talk. Their inner critic, the, you know, basically defining their worth based on whether they win the tennis match or the volleyball game or whatever. He took another group of NCAA athletes and said, okay, for just six months, we're going to totally change this. We're going to have what you call an inner coach. And every time you miss a shot or lose a game, you're going to repeat a mantra of like, my self worth is not determined to my win or loss or making that match or that winning that, you know, game. And what she found was, over time, it wasn't immediate, but over time, this. These positive affirmations that were tied to feeling enough whether they win or lost. Actually those athletes started to outperform the ones that had the inner critic. And so I say enough is like. Like wearing this bracelet is like actually more of like a. Like, you know, kind of screw all the people that told me I couldn't do it. You know, screw all the people that said I wasn't smart enough or that this wasn't going to work. Like, it's actually more of a positive kind of like performance hack. Because then when you have that attitude of like, I'm enough, whether you like what I'M doing or not, or I believe in my business, whether the critics think it's going to happen or not. Like that belief system and that feeling secure in your wholeness outside of whatever achievement takes the pressure down. And when the pressure's down, that's when you can enter the flow state.
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A
Right.
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B
And so like, I mean, I feel like I'm so much more in flow than I ever was in the TOMS days because I was always so worried about what are people going to like it if we hit sales, if we do this. And so we were successful, but it came at a price.
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A
And that puts you, keeps you in that par then that in that sympathetic state. Fight or flight. Right. You're in your survival mode.
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B
Yeah, that's not a good place to be creative from.
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A
Right, exactly. Because it holds you hostage in your brain, your survival part of your brain, and hold you hostage from the places like creativity, like your executive functioning, like your ability to think clearer. And then you also hold back. Right. You think you're. If you just feel like everything is a saber tooth tiger, you're not going to get in that flow state. Certainly not. And then when you have that self talk and everybody has that critic inside that they're not enough. I always tell people, if you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them. And often we say, why can't I be enough? And I think what you just addressed is so important because a lot of people who are listening, they feel like if they felt like they were whole and they were worthy, they would lose their drive.
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B
Exactly. And it's the exact opposite I found. I mean, I, I mean, it's so funny because, like, you know, we donate 100% of our profits from enough to these mental health organizations, so there's no profit incentive. You know, I definitely don't need to have my face on a magazine again. I did that for, you know, many, many years. And I'm more driven working harder than I've ever worked before because I'm in a flow state. And it's fun.
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A
Right?
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B
Like, like we talked a little bit before the show and you had asked me like, you know, a lot of entrepreneurs that try to do a second act, they have a lot of pressure and they wonder like, okay, you know, will my next thing be as big as my first thing? And you asked me about, you know, do I feel that pressure with launching enough? And what I said was, and I said this to some of the ideas, I said, no. It's kind of like in Vegas, if you have a big win and then you're playing with the house's money. So now you can really go for it at the blackjack table because you've already set aside, you know, your win. Well, I feel like I've already, you know, it's, it's with the house's money and so it's just fun. I mean that's what's driving me to stay up late working on it or go to India and do this or that or travel. It's like, it's just, it's fun. And I do think that even for like a very first time entrepreneur who really, you know, is like literally paycheck to paycheck, like scraping by to get whatever they're going to like. As hard as it might be to hear this, like, the more you can try to take the pressure off and try to like look at this as something that you get to do and then, and find the fun in it, the greater chance you're going to have of success. I mean, I think that's one reason why you look at most of the like companies, the big, big amazing success stories, unicorns that we know about, they're mainly started by people in their 20s. And the reason is, is that they have so much less to lose, you know, and so they're literally like creating something that, yeah, some of them do it for money, but most of them do it because they wanted to disrupt culture. They want to do something crazy that no one's ever done. They have an idea that they're just fall in love with. Right. And, and they just go for it, they're having fun and that's. And so I think it's less about their age is what allows them to think that way. And it's more their mindset. And so I think anyone at this age, at any age, can have that mindset.
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A
Because it's a choice, right? Yeah. There's a quote in my book Limitless that says life is the letter C between the letters B and D, where B stands for birth and D stands for death. And in between C is choice.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Right. And we always have a choice of how we're going to show up. And when it comes to burnout, which so many people are struggling with nowadays, I feel like burnout is not, it's not always because we're doing too much. Sometimes we feel burnt out because we're doing too little of the things that make us come alive, you know, and bringing that fun back into it. But in order to do that, do you for your own mental health, I'm curious, do you put borders and boundaries or guardrails around things like your time, your attention? You know, like, is it. Is that. Yeah, because, you know, one of the things, as you grow in success, there's more. More opportunity that comes to you. Yeah, right. And then so, you know, and part of it is some people are stressed out because they're saying yes to everything. Yeah, right. Because these are the things that people would have wished for when they were younger. You know, for, for example, that could lead to also and that maybe that tribe of getting involved in everything or the F is because they are trying to be enough.
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B
Right, exactly. It really, it's so funny. I mean, it's fun when it kind of. So many places we could explore in terms of mental health and performance all lead back to like, at, at your core, do you feel that you're enough? And it's like what I'm doing now to protect my mental health, there are some basic things. So like, for instance, every morning I wake up, I really get hydrated, I go out, I look in the sun, I had the brain smoothie, you know, and. And then I get some exercise. And like, that's a non negotiable, like, I mean, literally, like non negotiable. Like I have to do that every single morning. And then I can, you know, do six hours of zooms or a bunch of podcasts or whatever I'm doing that day. Then the other thing is, is I really try to schedule what I call scheduling joy.
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A
It's like, what, Scheduling joy?
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B
Yeah, scheduling joy. So what makes me joyful? One of the main things that makes me joyful is surfing. I love to surf. Like, I will fly anywhere in the world to catch a great wave. And so I make sure throughout, like each quarter that there's going to be either micro or macro surf trips involved. So a micro trip might be like after this whole week of doing press for enough, I'm going down to Cabo for three days, short trip. But I'm just going to surf and enjoy myself and relax and, you know, and that's important because otherwise burnout, even if you, you love what you're doing, if you do too much of it, you will get burned out. I mean, your brain can only handle, I think so much of that stimulation, even if it's good stimulation before, it's like, I need a break. So, yeah, I try to really schedule that. And then my kids are like the most perfect way to avoid burnout because, you know, I have them on the weekends right now, and my Ex wife has them during the week. And so every weekend I have, you know, kid activities. And so that gives me using a different part of my brain. It gives me, you know, watching a bunch of, you know, silly movies or going out and playing basketball or watching water polo practice or taking my daughter to horses or whatever. And, and so that also naturally helps kind of get me into a different state. And that is great for having some balance in my life.
- [23:00]
A
Yeah. A little while ago, you used the word, you know, get to. And so, you know, one of the, one of the hacks in our language, you know, transforms how we perceive the world, how we feel about things. And so many people have the pressure like, oh, I got to work out or I got to be with the kids, or I got to, you know, do these zoom calls. But changing that little word, you know, got to get, it just changes everything. I'm always looking for ways to keep my brain and my body performing their best. And the older I get, I'm in my 50s, the more I care about my cells. Because your cells are where your energy, your strength and your focus actually comes from. If your cells are slowing down, everything slows down with them. So recently I started taking Timeline's Mitopure longevity gummies. They're yummy. And I've noticed a big difference. These are the first gummies designed to support your cellular energy so you feel stronger, clearer, and more vibrant throughout the day. For me, the biggest shift was energy I could actually feel. Not the quick spike and crash, just steady, sustained energy that help me focus longer and even recover better after my workouts. And because they're gummies, they're very easy. I look forward to taking them every morning. Mitopure is backed by gold standard clinical research, and it targets a key area of healthy aging, mitochondrial decline. Think of it like charging your internal batteries every day so you can stay active and mentally sharp, no matter your age. If you've been feeling a little sluggish, tired, or you're not recovering the way you once used to, I really encourage you to try these. And right now, Timeline is giving our listeners 35 off your one month subscription of Mito Pure Gummies. So it's a real no brainer. Just go to timeline.comforward/quick35. That's timeline.comforward/kwik35. While this offer lasts, your cells well. Thank you. Now back to the episode. So what form has gratitude? You know, because in order to be able to say I get to underlining, that is some form of gratitude.
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B
Well, I think I mean, I feel like I was always a very grateful person. I think I just. That's just been kind of inside me. But I think the level of gratitude I have now is like. Is like almost a superpower because of what I went through. I mean, seven years. I mean, seven years of just not feeling good and two years of not wanting to be here and, like, feeling like you weren't in control of your brain. You couldn't sleep. You were totally isolated. You were. Had so much shame for every mistake you ever made in your life. I mean, living like that, like, it wasn't that long. It was a year ago that I was in that state. And so now every day I wake up that I get to do something I love, be with people. I, like, have interesting conversations. Actually feel like my brain is, like, really active and engaged. I'm super grateful, so it's easy for me to be grateful.
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A
But because you went through that.
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B
Right.
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A
I don't know. One strong person that had an. An easy life.
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B
Yeah.
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A
You know, personally.
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B
Yeah. It's kind of part of the. I. I say sometimes, like, if we were talking to God and we were like, okay, let's make a game plan for what this human experience is going to be like. And if it was like a movie, I. I feel like I must have sat down with God and be like, hey, I want a blockbuster. Like, don't give me, like, a Hallmark movie or a Lifetime movie. Like, I want something that's like Shawshank Redemption, buddy. Like, give me the Full Monty, you know, and in.
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A
Yeah.
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B
I don't know. It's funny. I think about that a lot. Like, did I really call all this in so that I could have this full experience? And maybe so, yeah.
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A
And maybe when people pray for patience, you know, you know, life gives you things, you know, distractions and, like, to be able to strengthen that patience. Right. Or anything. Or faith, you know, to be able to test your faith and. Or courage that gives you, you know, opponents or, you know, in the movies, there are these super villains.
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B
Sure.
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A
You know, but the size. The size of the hero is determined by the size of the. Of the. Of the villain.
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B
Sure.
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A
Right. In the analogy. And so with challenge comes change. I think the life you live are the lessons that we teach. Right. Bernay Brown talks about, you know, and I'm paraphrasing, but the struggles that you're going through, you know, your story becomes a blueprint for somebody else who's looking for help and real hope.
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B
It's so interesting. I read that someone sent Me that quote the other day and I posted it on Instagram and I was like, I feel like this quote from Brene Brown is exactly what I just experienced. Like, like my struggles literally created the blueprint of what my next purpose is like. And it was so cool. And it's interesting you brought that up because I, I just saw that quote for the first time.
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A
So what do you, what are you doing now for. For your own. So you have your routine, you have your morning routine.
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B
Routine.
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A
That's right. You have your hydration, you have your movement, you, you look at the, at the sunlight and these are things everybody could do. Right. People could do with their kids. It doesn't take a lot of time. It's free.
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B
Yeah.
- [27:56]
A
You know, so it's very, very cost effective. Throughout the day, do you have things to kind of regulate or maybe evening like rituals that are also non negotiables, you know, for preserving your own mental health and just reinforcing that you are worthy? Because it also provides evidence because what would you nourish flourishes. Right. So it also provides evidence that you are enough because you're taken care of. The, you know, thing that matters.
- [28:21]
B
I think one of the most important thing, I think Tony Robbins says the greatest determinant of the life will lead is the five people we spend the most time with. And I think that's a really great thing to focus on. Like, I think throughout the day, who are you spending the most time with and how are they affecting you? Because they might be affecting you way more than your environment, your economic situation, your family. I mean, so it's really, I'm very, very thoughtful about the energy of the people that I spend a lot of time with during the day. I think that's as important as the morning routine, frankly, because, because they just have such a huge impact, you know, and, and then the other thing that you know, I really enjoy doing is trying to find some way, even if it's just like having a non alcoholic beer at the end of the day because I don't drink, but like some kind of ritual to kind of end the day. And I think that's a nice thing, you know, and sometimes it might be watching my favorite show with my partner or you know, reading a book or something just to say that like, okay, I'm moving away from high performing Blake who's like trying to build this global movement to just. I'm sitting on the couch drinking a non alcoholic beer, watching the sunset, you know, or I'm just going for a little walk. I Live near the beach, you know, or you know, something to kind of just say the day is done before you get into kind of sleep mode.
- [29:47]
A
And scheduling it is so important like when you're scheduling your joy. Because I think one of the most important productivity or even peace of mind tools that we have is our calendar. But a lot of people don't put things in their calendar. They'll put their meetings with investors or PTA meetings or whatever, but they don't always schedule their own. Their white space to think, to be creative, to do self care.
- [30:10]
B
I do that. I mean literally my calendar is full whether I'm working or not because it's full with like surf from 6am to 8 or workout or you know, time with my partner or you know, like dinner with friends. Like I put everything personal and professional, I guess on my calendar because then it does kind of show like where your priorities are. You know, your calendar doesn't lie. You know, that's, that's, that's really like. If you really want to look at your life, look at your last three months of your calendar.
- [30:38]
A
Yeah.
- [30:38]
B
And then you'll see and you could even. The cool thing about one I love AI. One of the things you do AI is you can literally load your calendar in AI and say, okay, tell me what percentage of my time was with my partner, with my kids, making time for like, like actually like mindful meals, not eating at your desk, you know, type thing. And yeah, it's, it's a pretty interesting exercise.
- [31:01]
A
Yeah. When I'm coaching clients in performance or productivity, you could tell a lot about a person, even if you don't even meet them just by looking at things like their calendar, their phone usage, their bookshelf. And again, going back to the people they spend the most time with, the
- [31:17]
B
people is a big deal.
- [31:18]
A
Right. Because who you spend time with is who you become so much. If you spend time with nine broke people, you're probably going to be number 10. But also, and these people could be well meaning too. You know, sometimes people go and they'll make a resolution, they'll go to an event, they'll make a change, but then they'll go back to the same environment, which includes the people that they're saying, why are you trying that? Or why are you always doing that? And they can have good intentions, but they can be sincere, but they can be sincerely wrong. Maybe they're afraid you're going to outgrow them, or maybe you're representing some change and changes is threatening to them and so you could choose those peers. You can love your family because I'm sure a lot of people are listening to this. They have a partner or somebody that's a negative person in their life and
- [32:06]
B
they're their family and they have to figure out how to work with it.
- [32:09]
A
Yeah. I was having lunch years ago with Susan Cain and Simon Sinek and we're talking about introvert, extrovert. And I don't know which one you kind of feel called or identified with, but they're saying an introvert is somebody who wakes up with five energy coins and every single time they interact with somebody, they give out one, they give away one of their coins to them and then once they're depleted, they have to go back and kind of reset. Right. But extrovert wakes up with no coins and every single time they engage with somebody they get one of their coins. Right. So they just want to energize. But definitely the people you spend time with could, could affect you and we could choose those people.
- [32:47]
B
Yeah.
- [32:48]
A
You know, and sometimes it's a little bit hard also if they reinforce you're not enough. Because I mean, think about like I was thinking about on the way here, like where does that feeling or that thought that you're not enough come from? You know, and you know, yeah, I think we've all had experiences or if you even think I'm a new, I'm a new father in my 50s. So we have a three year old and a one year old. So it's different stage. And I'm learning a whole lot about myself totally. And individuals. But, but I'm thinking even things like it was raining and you know, the other day and we go for these walks with my son and I said to him like, oh no we can't, it's a bad day out. And but, but subconsciously I realized I was teaching him. Your happiness is dependent on whether on the weather, something like that. It's very subtle. But I think as parents also like, I think the, the idea of you're not enough a lot came from early, you know, it's imprinted on us.
- [33:42]
B
Even good meaning parents. I mean I have amazing parents, like people, when I share my story, they're like my, my friends love my parents and like, and I'm like, but, but you know, even my dad, incredibly well meaning, he had a lot of pressure from his dad and I think his dad had a lot of pressure from him. And there's no doubt that there was a lot of pressure subconsciously put on me to win tennis matches to get Great grades.
- [34:05]
A
And that was reinforced too.
- [34:07]
B
Yeah. And then the more I won, the more seemingly love that I got. And so it wasn't like, I mean, there's some people, unfortunately, that have parents where they're telling them they're not enough. I mean, they're literally creating real trauma, you know, And I'm getting ready to have Gabor mate on my no Magic Pill podcast, and we're going to really talk about that because there is some people that really have to do some deep healing around this idea of enough. It's not just wear the bracelet and have the daily reminder, but a lot of people, as you were saying, that this happens at an early age because so much of our culture and our parents are just part of that culture, are geared towards win the match, get the girl, you know, do the thing, you know, like, and, and, and it's not necessarily that they're, they think that they're trying to help us, you know, and in some ways they are. But, but when it becomes so conditional to how people view you in society, you start to, to feel this. I mean, one of the things that I love about the project we're working on is I've already started to hear stories of a parent giving the bracelet to their 13 year old and. Right. And they're like, they, and they just know that between 0 and 13 there were times that they didn't mean to, but they made that child feel that they had to get a certain grade or win a certain match or what this so that they would have their love. And they sit down with them and they say, look, I'm sorry, I think that this has probably happened in our relationship and I want you to wear this bracelet to know you're enough every day. And like, I mean, I'm getting like, like crazy emails, messages on Instagram of things already happening just in the first couple of days. And it's so cool because, you know, it's, it's just a simple way for a parent to give a message that I think is, as a parent and as a new parent, you can probably relate to this, is that like, at the end of the day, like, if that's the only message we gave our kids, we would have had success like, like, like really thinking about, like, like if my kids truly felt that I loved them no matter what and that they're enough whether, no matter what they do with their life, they're enough just because they're alive. Like, that's the greatest gift we could give our children.
- [36:12]
A
So how would you. Where you are at right now, your current self. How would you define, like, success or winning?
- [36:19]
B
I think the thing is, you know, Joseph Campbell, who I love reading his works, the Hero's Journey. You know, he says something that I really love, and he says, just follow your bliss. And I think that if you are getting to spend your days following your bliss, you're winning, whether you're a bricklayer, a janitor, a CEO, an entrepreneur, a parent. But it's kind of like you said, if you are spending your days doing something you don't love or don't enjoy or don't have passion for, then even if you're successful, you're not going to feel good, you know? You know, so that's, you know, so it's. It's really about following your bliss. It's about finding a way to put yourself in a position where you really get to follow your bliss. And I think that's what success is. And I think right now, you know, we're hoping that we get millions and millions of people around the world to wear these bracelets and be part of this movement and raise all this money for mental health nonprofits. And success has none of that, none to do with that. Like, both of those can be true. Like, I can have huge goals and aspirations. And whether those ever happen or not, we will have so much success with this project because we're all, everyone working on it, small team, we're following our bliss and we're loving it. And that's. That's really what matters.
- [37:39]
A
And you're embodying it because that the message for people listening also is like, you could, you could achieve and you could also be whole and worthy at the same time. They're not mutually exclusive.
- [37:49]
B
They're not mutually exclusive. And I think, I think for a lot of our culture, we have been told that they are. That, you know, the achievement is going to happen because you are missing something, you're needing something. But the reality is, I think, as I said before, that feeling whole and really doing the work to source your enoughness within gives you almost like a superpower to go out and achieve and accomplish things. Because it's almost like in sales, I feel like. Like when you're desperate for a sale, the potential customer can feel it, especially in B2B sales. Right? And so it's very hard to drive a sale when you really, really, really need it. And you're desperate now when you don't necessarily need it and you're more of a magnet. You get customers all day long.
- [38:35]
A
Right.
- [38:35]
B
You know, and. And so it's. But the only way you can be a magnet and you can kind of attract that level of success is if you feel good yourself. If you feel. If you believe in your product, if you believe in yourself, then others are too.
- [38:48]
A
Right?
- [38:48]
B
So I think it's really. It's. I'm excited because I think that this. This idea, you know, while it came from a really painful place for me, and it came from a deep healing, it actually is applicable to people who've never had a mental health problem, but are really just looking to, like, live a happier, more peaceful, more successful life. And just a way to check in and be like, okay, am I. Am I projecting out into the world a feeling of enoughness, or am I projecting out a feeling of scarcity or deficiency? And that has a huge impact on
- [39:25]
A
what you attract and whether it's in business or a relationship or anything, if you come out with that desperate, like, you need something to make you more complete, and it's kind of like relationships. Also, if you feel like you need somebody else to complete you. Right. That whole analogy, you complete me, then you come out of desperation. Then it also feels like there's that same lack. Right. Where you feel separate from what it is, as opposed to being whole.
- [39:49]
B
Totally. I mean, I think that's really. It's so true. And I think that's what I like about this, is this. And that's what I say. It's really from a place of strength, your enoughness. It's not from a place of weakness.
- [40:02]
A
What would you say? You mentioned a number of times, your bracelet.
- [40:06]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [40:07]
A
Which is very catchy because I keep on looking at it also, as well.
- [40:10]
B
I have one for you here. Why don't we.
- [40:13]
A
Now. Yeah. Why don't we talk about this. This initiative?
- [40:15]
B
Okay. So it comes for those who aren't watching this on YouTube and they're listening to it. It comes in a box, green box. And the color green is because that's the mental health awareness color. And inside it, you'll see there are two bracelets. And the reason there are two is we give you one to wear, and then you get to choose the next person that you will give one to.
- [40:37]
A
I love. I love these words.
- [40:38]
B
And the words are written by our good friend, you know, nq, right?
- [40:41]
A
Yeah.
- [40:42]
B
So NQ wrote that poem. And so I asked Adam, I said, hey, I'm creating this initiative. I want to make it really easy for someone to give the second bracelet. So a lot of people won't know what to say. They might be intimidated. They might think it's too intimate. They don't want to be too vulnerable. And so he wrote the poem. And so inside this, there's a little green envelope in there. And you can hand them the envelope and the bracelet which has the poem. But the first four lines of the poem, I think, really matter. And it says, I see you, the you behind the you, not for anything you've done or anything you're gonna do. And I think that's what this is about. It's like really seeing each other.
- [41:22]
A
And I think people in this world, right. We want to feel seen, we want to feel. We want to feel heard.
- [41:28]
B
Totally.
- [41:29]
A
And even the time that you get, you know, that you have dedicated time with your children, you know, the power of presence. Oh. You know, and, and. And because that's what. It's not the. Necessarily that we hear this. Right. It's not the quality, it's not the quantity, but it's. It's the quality. It's that. It's that gift that we give people where we're not distracted and where we put our time and our attention to. You know, it's extremely powerful. Thank you for this.
- [41:50]
B
Yeah, this is awesome. Great. Here, if you hold your arms out, I'll put it on you in the ceremonial way. We have. So.
- [41:57]
A
And now where. Where was. Where were these created?
- [41:59]
B
They're made in India, handmade, hand beaded in India. And then 100% of all the profits go to mental health organizations.
- [42:08]
A
Where would somebody get theirs?
- [42:10]
B
You can get it@wearenough.org and we have bracelets, we have T shirts, we have hats. All the products go to raise money for mental health.
- [42:19]
A
And it's a great reminder also, because you see it every day. Yeah. Whatever you see consistently is also getting imprinted on you as well.
- [42:27]
B
Exactly, exactly. Yeah.
- [42:28]
A
And people could also pay it forward by sharing with other people.
- [42:33]
B
The website again, the website is wearenough.org that's perfect.
- [42:38]
A
We'll put that also in the link in the show. Notes. Jimquik.com notes. What's the vision here for?
- [42:48]
B
I mean, for me, I think having a bracelet, having something you wear, that's a daily reminder, but it's also an invitation to have conversations. So, like, if we can get enough people wearing these, no pun intended, and you're at Starbucks and you see a stranger wearing and you're wearing it, and you kind of look at each other, it's like you might have a conversation like, hey, how are you? Like, how are you really doing today? Because Anyone who wears this is someone who is saying to the world, like, I have a certain level of awareness and respect for mental health, whether I've struggled or I know someone that struggled, or I just want to help raise money for this cause. Like, that's like a different level of consciousness that I think you're projecting out that you have by wearing the bracelet. And so if we have enough people wearing it, then it will have more conversations. It'll be less loneliness, like what we talked about at the top of the show. And I think that in itself is worth doing the project for. And then on the flip side is because we're giving 100% of the profits. And I believe that if we get a lot of people wearing this kind, like we did with Tom shoes, we can raise tens of millions of dollars to organizations that really need it.
- [43:54]
A
I love it. Yeah, I absolutely love it. How do people stay connected with you?
- [43:58]
B
So best way for me is Instagram. I. I really share my whole mental health journey regularly. I share the good days, the bad days.
- [44:04]
A
There are bad days?
- [44:05]
B
There are bad days? Yeah, there are. I'd say about one out of every 12.
- [44:09]
A
A lot. A lot less frequent.
- [44:11]
B
Yeah, a lot less frequent. But about every two weeks, I wake up and I'm not feeling like 100, and I have to go deeper into my practice practices. I have a. A meditation. I do enough meditation where I say, I am enough. I've always been enough. And I say it enough, literally over 20 minutes, that by the end of it, I start saying it, like, sarcastically, like, I've always been enough, you know, and it really gets my body back into a good state. But I. I share all that on Instagram. It's just at Blake Mikoski, and I really enjoy engaging with people there. It's after not doing Instagram or anything for three years because I was just so dark and so shameful. Now doing it is really fun, and it really feels like it's a community.
- [44:54]
A
So outstanding. I encourage everybody who's watching or listening to take a screenshot wherever you're consuming this and post it and follow Blake. Tag him. Tag myself. I'll repost a few, as we always do, and share in the post. What would you like them to share?
- [45:11]
B
I think that just we're all enough, you know, like, we are enough. And tell someone that you love that they're enough today.
- [45:21]
A
Yeah. And there's a certain level I feel of grace also knowing that we're not alone.
- [45:25]
B
Exactly that.
- [45:27]
A
I think also that this conversation is a reminder that everyone has battles that other people don't see. That's why kindness is so is a superpower now. And we'll put links again to Blake's social media wearenough.org and also your new podcast.
- [45:44]
B
Yeah, the podcast is called no Magic Pill and you can get notifications. Comes out in May. But@blakemykowski.com, we have a little email sign up if you want to be notified when it comes out. And you're going to be on it. So that's next.
- [45:59]
A
All right, great. Thank you so much, buddy. I appreciate it, everybody. This is just a wake up call or just a reminder for everybody that might be going through difficult times. It's a reminder that you are enough, you know, regardless of, you know what, you've always been enough. Regardless of what you've thought or bought or created or not created or done, you're always been enough and you always will be. Also as well, and also to seek help because how do we become limitless in a limited world? We do it together. Now, if you're listening to this on audio, I encourage you to subscribe and join us on YouTube where we put the extended version. You could join a couple million subscribers there. I highly encourage you to not only listen to this episode, maybe re listen to it and also get your bracelet and one to be able to gift to a friend or family member who you could change their life with. That right? You never know the ripple effect. And until then, we look forward to seeing the next episode. Until then, be limitless.