
Use our code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/LAPLATICA10 Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $20 discount We told y'all La Plática was gonna do it big all 2026, and Josh and Sebas's first guest of the year might be the biggest one of all. From Hawai'i to LA, please join us in welcoming the one and only Bretman Rock to the #1 Latino Podcast in the World. Shoutout to you all for spamming Bret and making this possible, this conversation happened all thanks to everyone who told him to pull up. This is a real special one, we hope you enjoy! 💙 #MondaysDontSuckAnymore Get your Valentine's Day Tees! https://sazonstudios.la/products/platica-y-amor-tee Keep up with Bretman Rock! IG: @BretmanRock TikTok: @BretmanRock YouTube: @BretmanRock Podcast: @DaBaddestRadio Follow the Poddy on all socials 🫶🏼 IG: @laplatica TikTok: @LaPlaticaPod Sebastian Robles - @ayyysebas Josh Leyva - @TheJoshLeyva RESOURCES FOR ANYONE WHO NEEDS IM...
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A
El programa nacional de vecas a ser de McDonald's a beneficiado mas de vieiciente mille estudian tes con mas e trentai sil comissiones de dolares esta esma historia de generaciones queuerte capiculum.
B
Can I say something?
A
You've been saying things, Girl. Cause I was literally, like, bullied to be here. Can we talk about this at this point? I'm Philip Primo, girl. Like, I'm one of y'. All. We have the same colonizer, like, for real.
B
I'm just trying to, like, compete with you.
A
Compete with me, girl, with that five head of yours, girl.
C
Oh, my God.
A
This is my first straight podcast. No. Today, my name is Bretman Piedra. Oh, I'm scared to ask, cuz. I don't want to offend y', all, but did y' all graduate high school?
C
Okay, Brendan, this is how we're gonna.
A
Start my senior year. Because I blew up my senior year, and I kind of like.
B
Oh, my God, that is true.
A
Yeah, girl.
B
How was. How was senior year for you at that in. You know, around that time, to be honest. Especially in Hawaii, right?
A
Yeah. I mean, I was answering it, if you're gonna let me answer. How was it?
C
I've been waiting for a guest to put you in your place, bro. I've been waiting for a guest.
A
I'm like, I would love to answer your question if you would like to listen, please, bro.
B
My bad, my bad, my bad.
A
I love La Platica. Hello. The number one Latino podcast.
B
But I never stopped tripping.
A
Right?
D
Hey.
C
Are we rolling?
B
We good? Yeah.
C
What's. What are we doing?
B
Se.
A
Se.
C
Yep.
A
Se.
C
Number one. Number one rated ticketing app on the App store.
B
Yeah.
C
All right, cool.
D
Million downloads.
C
35.
B
35 million downloads.
C
Damn.
B
That's wild. Yeah.
C
75,000 live events or.
A
Yeah.
B
75, 000 live events.
A
Yeah.
B
And we have a code with them. But before the code, I'm gonna let them know. Hear this out.
C
No, Game plan, game plan, game plan.
B
Game plan number one.
C
Way to take that money. Upstore.
B
75 download. 28 million, easy.
C
Okay, cool.
B
And. And the mother effing World Cup.
C
Yeah.
B
Is coming to North America.
C
Okay.
B
Which means Canada, United States, Mexico.
C
But then when you do that, give them the promo code right after that, the la Plata got 10 for 10% off the ticket to purchase.
A
Oh, that's good.
C
Okay, say la platica.
B
10 for 10% off your ticketed purchase. Just like that, cuz you're using Seat. The number one rated ticketing app on the store. Kidnap store, dude.
C
So we'll do it like that, but just be more energetic. Like, I feel like you weren't really feeling that. Like, really get into it.
B
Oh, I was feeling it.
C
For when you say seeking, I need you to be like, see? No, but instead of like, like, you're going high. Go.
B
See?
A
See? Yeah. Yeah.
D
See?
B
Was that a Nickelodeon spin off? Wow.
C
All right, so we'll do that. We'll do that.
B
So.
C
And we got all that. And then we'll. And then we'll do the ck.
B
Yeah, and then it's just.
C
And then people will know that we're doing the C. Gee.
B
Yeah. United States.
C
This is good.
B
All right, go.
C
Roll the camera. Roll the camera. And we'll do that all over again.
B
We'll do it in 12.4 seconds.
C
We'll tell them that we'll see them at 12.4 seconds, starting now. Yeah. Clean the lens real quick before we start. Cool. Are we good?
B
All right, I think let's go.
C
And I'm gonna use it.
A
Let me be honest.
B
Every guest is a privilege.
C
Do we want to go there, get jolly?
A
Cause I'm on a podcast with Josh Labor.
B
Yeah, you have, too.
C
Ladies and gentlemen, let me just tell.
A
You.
C
We live in the 500.
B
Folding.
D
You're gonna cut the sleeve, right?
C
Like, no, we're keeping all this chess. Okay? So I want people to feel the tension, the nervousness that's flowing, blowing through.
A
The room right now.
D
Okay, on that note, since we kind of are keeping an element of, like, a little bit of surprise, do you want me to not say who our guest?
B
No, no, don't say.
C
Don't tell them, because it's definitely not gonna be in the thumbnail.
B
Yeah.
A
Oh, yeah.
C
No, she can say it. Say it. But you gotta say it, though.
B
Yeah.
D
Oh, my God. With my weak ass.
C
You gotta say it, though.
B
Yeah. Are you ready, bro?
C
We're going to start hyping this up, like, right after this. We were going to know.
B
Yeah. Or you could just slate the episode, and I can just. I can just do it, right? What? She just slates the episode. Maybe the number. And then I can just say breck. Or.
C
We're keeping all this, bro. We're keeping all of this. This is good.
D
Like, we've never done this before.
C
We're in shambles right now, people.
A
This is.
C
Look at this camera, bro.
B
Brman's waiting. Hurry up. All right, here we go.
D
Let's do it.
C
Let's do it.
D
La Platica 233 with the Bretman Roth.
A
There you go.
C
Guys, we're doing something. I know you have something, but let me just preface this. One of our biggest comments and criticisms that we get is that we don't do proper. Proper introductions. So this time we not around. We got a very, very special guest and we took the liberty to make sure that we gave him the greatest introduction intro we could possibly bring to the table. So no more excuses. Let's get this show on the road. I'm ready to rock. No pun intended.
B
All right, well, let's get it. Ladies and gentlemen, today's guest needs no introduction, but I'm going to give him one anyway.
A
Come on, baby.
B
Ladies and gentlemen, today we're joined by someone who has mastered the art of effortlessly being iconic. A man who tells the truth, looks incredible doing it, and somehow makes chaos feel classy.
A
Ooh, he's hilarious.
B
He's honest, and he's absolutely that bitch.
C
That bitch.
B
Please welcome Bretman Rock.
C
Bretman Rock in the building. All hail Bretman Rock.
A
Thank you. Thank you.
B
We did it.
C
We did it. You guys did it. Actually, Bretman, could you hear what we were saying? No.
B
Okay.
C
I almost feel like end.
A
I was kind of like this in the beginning. I heard you guys say you don't usually do intro.
C
No, never.
A
But for a bad bitch, you will. So thank you so much.
B
Mandatory. I cannot believe you're here.
A
I can, girl. Cuz I was literally, like bullied to be here. Can we talk about this at this point?
C
Let's talk about it. We had an episode where we, like, casually mentioned Bretman Rock and how we would love to have him on the podcast. We cut it up into a clip.
A
We.
C
We put it out into the world and it just popped off. It went viral, like 2 million views. Comments were going crazy.
B
It made me so happy because it made me happy.
A
I was like, damn, y' all really want me. I had so many primos and primas out there. But I saw when the day that you guys posted it, actually, I think somebody was trying to win. I think you guys had promised that you would give tickets to somebody.
C
Monster Jam. Was this the Monster?
A
Oh, yeah. The monster. Probably. I think the Monster Jam. One of the things.
B
Something like that.
A
So I think one of the girls later my DMs, and I was like, what is she talking about? And then 30 minutes from literally asking her what she's talking about, you guys dropped the video. And then just like notifications on notifications, going crazy. What is this? And obviously I've watched you guys for a while now.
B
Thank you.
A
Damn. They really want me there. Because usually. I know you guys usually have like Latinos in here, but like, I'm Filip Primo girl. Like, I'm one of y'. All. We have the same colonizer. Like we have the same, the same words, especially in the kitchen.
C
Oh, we're going to talk about that.
B
We have the peso.
A
Peso, yeah, yeah.
B
The currency is the same thing.
A
Everything.
B
A lot of Lopez's in the Philippines and Robles. Really?
A
Yeah. I did not know that.
B
Yes.
A
Oh, exactly.
B
I almost sounded like Mickey, I was.
C
About to say, but I was like, I'll let it slap.
B
I almost sounded like Mickey right now.
A
Oh, look.
B
Oh boy.
A
Very loud.
B
Did you want to put headphones on or are you cool?
C
I feel like you should just be more immersive. Yeah.
A
So that's why you.
C
Oh yeah, you'll see. You wear headphones on the podcast, right? On your podcast?
A
I used to.
B
And then only if you want to.
A
Oh, I love it. No, it's because sometimes I'm like, I would do my hair for the pod. Yeah. And I'm like, girl, I did a blowout for what?
C
No, I literally, I didn't do a.
A
Blowout today because I didn't have time.
C
Yeah.
A
But no, I love it.
B
Your hair looks great.
A
Thank you so much. That's a lot coming from a hairdresser.
C
Is this a lot? Do you feel like a lot of pressure now? Because I feel like you're like a hair person. Like people just like, they love your hair. Is it like your feel like your hair always has to be like on point?
A
No, because most, most of the time it is on point. It stays on point. I really don't do too much with it, but with the hair stuff, I feel like more people are attached to it than I am. Cuz I'm ready to cut this shit off, please. Well, I. It grows so fast. Like, honestly, I've only grown it out for like three years, but I. I love when it looked like what. When it was like mid length. Like, long haired me is kind of like annoying to do every morning, but I feel like I look the most Bretman rock when it was like mid length. But I'll get there.
B
I gotta.
C
Yeah. Do you have like curly hair naturally? Like what is your.
A
It's more like wavy. It's closer to your hair.
C
Okay.
A
Yeah.
C
Cuz his hair is super curvy.
A
Mine's curly.
B
Yeah.
A
How long are you trying to grow out your hair?
B
I'M just trying to like compete with you, girl. Like a little bit, I guess.
C
Yeah.
A
Compete with me, girl. With that five head of yours.
C
Oh my God.
A
Don't come.
B
I'm trying to compete with you. You had your hair like this and then you turn around like it was just like magic.
A
Exactly.
B
Yeah.
A
And you exactly never.
B
You know what I'm gonna do? You just challenge me soon on my.
A
Wait, can you do a blowout?
B
I'm gonna do the same video.
C
You're gonna love this episode.
B
And I'm gonna try to like, I tell the camera, I'm going to try to recreate the Bretman rock little twirl thing that you did. And then I'm going to see if I can do it.
A
You better.
B
I didn't know. I don't know how you did it, but I'm going to try to do it.
C
Yeah, it's cuz like you had it tucked and then you. And then it all came alive.
B
Yeah, but what was tucking it?
C
Yeah. How did you tuck it?
A
It just is tucked. What can I say? Like a stays tuck. No, I think I just like, grandma. Like, I literally like just went like, hold on, let me fucking do it. It was like this and I wrapped it in my thumb and then I rolled it down and then it held it because it was curly.
B
Okay, so when I saw you whip it and we can put this video.
A
It's right there.
C
Oh, yeah. Sebas literally said. How did he do that?
A
I ain't gonna lie. Okay.
C
Is this a. This is a blowout. This is a blowout.
A
This is a blowout. Girl, when I tell you I booked so much fucking gig from this video. I booked so much gig.
B
Grandma. You look hot, dude.
A
Thank you. I agree.
B
Look at that. You were feeling yourself, huh?
C
Oh, yeah.
B
I know you were.
A
Oh, yeah. I thought I was Victoria's Secret model girl. That's Adriel and Lima right there.
B
I'm gonna do the same video.
C
You have to recreate this like perfectly.
B
Yeah, the same shirt too.
C
Everything.
A
And you better eat me up.
B
Yeah, I will eat you up.
A
You know what did eat though? Your hair. Your hair on episode two, I think the last episode. Hold on.
B
You're kind of like blowing my mind right now. Like, you actually watch the shows? Are you actually watching the show?
A
Yes.
C
Or is this. You just did a bunch of studying.
B
Yeah.
A
I love La Plat.
C
Hello.
A
The number one Latino podcast.
B
But I never trippin. I never said that either, either. Your bit's really good. Which I'll let it pass.
A
Good.
B
But if this is the truth, like, wow. Like, I always love. I've known.
A
Do you think I just know she's bisexual?
C
Just Bretman did say that. Immediately when he walked in, he was like my bisexual queen.
D
I was shocked.
B
Did you also notice your shirt?
A
Yeah, of course. The first second thing I noticed.
D
I want to get that this picture is everything. Like, I want this framed in my house. I hope you know that.
A
Thank you. You're that girl. I was just bored as hell that day. And I was like, oh, my God, this top is so cute. And I took pictures and I made merch. That was actually one of my best merch that I ever made. I was like, I made so much money.
C
That's an OG shirt too, right? You said that was a.
A
That's one. Yeah, yeah. And now it's the hair that I'm talking about that I feel.
C
Let me see.
A
I want to see most like me. Oh, you know, just medium.
C
I like it.
A
I like it. But I like your hair. Thank you. What is this assortment of mangoes I see?
C
Oh, we got some things.
A
I feel like I'm being profiled a little bit.
B
They did profile you?
A
Yeah.
B
Now that I think about it, that.
A
Long mango, I'm like, why is it long like that?
B
Wait, you've never seen a long mango?
A
I mean, Philippines have long mangoes, like the Filipino mango, but not garrets. Like, phallic. Long.
B
Wait, wait, what's phallic? I've never heard that.
C
You never heard of Fat Lick?
A
Okay, you're so Latino. What is that, immigrant?
C
Wait, this is a big ass?
A
No, it's a big word for Elmo, honestly. But I learned that a couple weeks ago. Phallic is when something reminds you or looks like a genital or like something.
C
Wait, phallic.
A
Phallic. Like, it looks f. Fck.
C
I heard Fat Lick.
B
That's what I heard, too. Fck. Phallic.
A
Phallic.
B
Phallic.
A
Oh, that's phallic. Sorry, I have an accent. I'm not from here.
C
Ice, here we go.
B
Yeah.
A
Ice.
B
You said something, that the Latinas were attacking you straight up.
A
Not. I'm not. I'm not ate up. Yeah. No, I'm not even joking. Like, it was giving. Threatening. Like, you better.
B
And this is for everybody watching. You guys supposedly attacked Bretman, which I.
A
Love, by the way. I love. No, I loved was just, like, a lot. Like, in one day, I was getting tagged by, like, every Latino person I've ever known. Like my two trainers, my friends, who I didn't even Know knew you guys really like, oh, my God, you're la Platica listener. And they're like, yeah, girl. And just a bunch of people that, like, has a crush on Josh. Honestly, they were like, girl, you gotta go see Josh for me.
C
Yeah, we've had a lot of incredible guests. But, dude, once we told people that you're coming on, the reaction that I got from people, they're like, oh, people were freaking out that you were coming on the podcast.
A
Because there's really. I honestly, and I don't mean to toot my own horn, but every podcast I'm in numbers. I'm like, extra funny. I'm like, why am I not that? In my podcast, it's always like, yes, it's numbers, but it's also just like, I don't know, I just love talking to people. This is my first straight podcast. I was gonna say that, and then I found out she's bi, so. But the host is our show.
C
That's interesting.
B
Oh, cool.
A
But yeah. Yeah.
C
Is that by choice or it just happens to be like that?
A
By choice. But honestly, most of the time, like, I will. I've gotten offers to do podcasts with, like, straight people, but I'm literally like, what the fuck are we going to talk about? What are you going to ask?
B
Yeah, we're like. We call ourselves like Boily Pops because we, like, fog with the chicks.
A
Oh, you ate that Boily Pops. That's kind of giving, like, man baddie energy.
B
Yeah, man baddies, some would say. You just gave me a merch idea.
C
Man baddies.
B
We're man baddies, bro.
C
That's our angle for the cosmetic thing. We want to get into man baddies, dude.
B
We start a series.
C
The Man Baddies.
B
The Man Baddies, I think. Can you be a man or are you just the baddest?
A
I'm just a baddie, period. Like, honestly, cuz, I also. This is my hot take. I know it's like five minutes in, but let me give a hot take.
C
About the setting?
A
No, about man.
B
Oh, cuz.
A
Man baddie. Like, that shit was like a whole thing on TikTok Once Upon a time. But my hot take is that just because you put man in front of something, it does not make it more straight. Or man. Oh, like man bun. Yeah, bitch, it's a bun.
C
It's a bun. Yeah.
A
And I also feel manscape. Exactly. Bitch. You're just skating. You're just cleaning, you know, like man makeup. Bitch, what the fuck is in there that makes it a man? You put come in There.
C
Make it black.
A
Exactly.
B
What?
A
Exactly.
B
That's phallic, dude.
C
Are you saying Fat Lick.
B
Fat Live Bremen. We poured you a glass of brown. You don't have to drink it. This is per request, but I'm drinking.
C
A little bit it.
A
Me too.
B
I'm celebrating this.
C
Breadman Rock's in the building. Were you gonna say the rapping Bretman Rock is in the building?
B
No.
A
Today my name is Bretman. Piedra.
B
Oh, Mr. Piedra.
A
Salute.
C
Salute.
A
Salute.
B
Period.
C
Taste. Salute.
A
Guys, this is a cute pink boss right here.
C
This is very. Yeah, we. Yes.
B
It's giving. It's giving. Piedra.
A
O. This one's a good one.
B
This is the bottle. Very expensive.
C
Wow.
A
What is it? N. Coffee. Grain whiskey, period.
C
Yeah.
A
Did it shock you that I drink brown?
B
Yeah, I did. It did.
C
I thought I took you for a tequila person.
B
Yeah, I did. Really?
A
No, because tequila makes me want to wrap it up. We gotta go. Like, I'm such a Debbie Downer when I drink clear.
B
Really? Oh, really?
C
But this gets you.
A
This gets me, like, right, Like. Oh, let's stay here. Got it.
C
You know, what about wine? Are you a wine person?
A
No, I. No, honestly, I'm just, like, straight brown, like, whiskey sour on the rocks type shit.
B
Got it.
C
Have you had a New York Source?
A
I've had every sour there ever is or was.
C
So it's like a whiskey sour and then they top it off with, like, a red wine.
A
Yeah.
C
So it just, like, floats at the top.
A
Had you ever had a Japanese sour?
C
No.
A
I think it's the same thing, but it's sake on top.
B
I love sake.
C
You do love sake? Yeah.
B
You know it's in sours, right?
A
Yeah. You were talking about sake last time.
B
Yeah.
A
You were saying how you can taste the culture, period. It's like a yo. And you said, I don't remember shit. Wow. You think this is a gig, girl.
B
That'S kind of crazy.
C
This is the most prepared guest we've ever had.
B
Yeah. It makes me feel like, well, I.
A
Have to match you, Josh. Always.
C
I'm prepared.
B
What the about me? What about me?
C
What the.
A
Well, you're here.
B
I'm just here.
A
You're present.
B
It. It's blowing my mind how mentally prepared you are, but, like, it makes me feel like you're a super healthy human being.
A
I am. Well, okay. Segue. Damn, you ate that.
B
No, serious.
A
Now we're going to talk about hell.
B
Someone who can have memory like that. It's very impressive.
A
Thank you so much. I call it my elephant brain. I think it's also because, like, my mom always, like, would promise me as a child, like you, I was a child that you don't want to promise things to because you'll remember. I will remember the date, the time, and how you said it. Wow. I'd be like, mom, remember when you said it with your full heart that you're going to buy me a bike if I got a straight A? Well, yeah, here's a straight A. And I got a full bike. Yeah. So I like that. And she studied with her full heart.
C
So were you good in school?
A
Yes, I was really good in school. I graduated with honors. I think I was cum laude or summa.
B
What's that exactly? Cum laude or summa.
C
Is that like that?
A
Yeah.
B
Which I never even touched the surface.
A
No. Y' all with me because, I don't know, it's when you graduate with a certain GPA, I think cum laude is 3.5 and up. Suma is 3.8 and up. And then valedictorian is 4.0 and up. Magna.
C
Did you get the little, like, bands?
A
Oh, you know, I got the little dangly.
D
Yeah.
A
Yeah. But honestly, I would have been magna if I didn't.
C
Wait, this is real magna cum laude.
A
Because y' all really got me so up. I don't know.
C
Cum laude? Yeah, cum laude. Never heard of this?
B
Magna cum laude. The great praise.
A
I'm scared to ask because I don't want to offend y', all, but did y' all graduate high school?
C
Okay, Bretman, this is how we're gonna start.
B
No, because you're not offending me. You're not offending me.
A
No, because they announce it. What? They're like, Bretman, rock cum laude. Like, you know, they didn't heard that at all.
C
They probably did. I wasn't paying attention.
B
Barely graduated. And maybe when they did that, I was, like, in credit recovery, trying to graduate.
C
Right. Can I be honest? I think I graduated with, like, a 2.3 GPA, right? Yeah. I was the opposite of a cum laude.
A
She was not coming.
C
Yeah, yeah, Just like, come laude.
B
More like come later. No, not funny.
A
No, that was funny because I. That's probably what I was my senior year. Because I blew up my senior year and I kind of like, God, that is true. Yeah, girl.
B
How was. How was senior year for you at that? And, you know, around that time, to be honest, Especially in Hawaii. Right?
A
Yeah, I mean, I was answering, if you're gonna let me answer. Shit. Fuck. How was it?
C
I've been waiting for a guest to put you in your place, bro, I'm.
A
Like, I would love to answer your question. If you would like to let.
C
Please.
B
That.
C
You don't need to ask the question six times.
A
I'm like, me mid. Mid answer. So how was it?
B
Well, cut all that.
A
Yeah.
B
So how was it?
A
I blew up junior senior year. But also, I've always been. Well, I grew up. Okay, first of all, if y' all didn't know about. Hi, my name is Bradman. I grew up in. Have a population of four people. And growing up, I've always kind of just felt like I had a certain je ne sais quoi.
C
You do, 100%.
A
I've kind of, like, convinced myself that I was a pop star before anybody really knew who I was. And so when I was blowing up, I was like, this is right. This feels correct. Like, honestly, you weren't surprised. Yeah. And it was the same for my school. It was just very much nobody gave a shit about me being famous. And you know how, like, everyone's on your pod always being like, I was bullied. Like, people, like, really made it a big deal that I was famous, bitch. Nobody gave a fuck. Like, I. I remember my senior year. I want to go host Miss Universe backstage. And I came home, I came back to school with, literally, a dress and the crown, and not a single bitch asked me how. My trip to the Philippines. Yes. Nobody cared. And I loved it.
C
What year is this?
A
My senior year. I was 20. 2017, 2016 era.
C
Wow.
A
When I blew up.
B
Wow. So.
A
So that's how it was.
B
Now I'm just scared to say anything.
C
And this was on vine, right? You started on vine, and then you started transitioning to, like, YouTube, all the other platforms and stuff.
A
This was during vine era. But I actually didn't blow up on Vine. I blew up on Snapchat. Right. Very special case.
B
How did that happen?
A
Now you scared to ask. Now, that's kind of crazy.
C
I didn't know that you blew up on Snapchat.
A
Because I would. Okay. On Snapchat.
C
And what do you mean by blow up?
A
I'm getting there.
C
We're excited, Bretton.
B
You're here. Two drinks in, dude.
A
Like, two tips in. How did I blow up on Snapchat? Basically, I El Programa Nacional de Vecas hace ser de McDonald's a beneficiado. Camino parallel Casigan esta desumis. And McDonald's Punta com was friends with everybody in my school. I was kind of like, Mr. Aloha. Like, I was friends with everybody. I didn't Have a click. I was friends with the jocks because I ran track with them and cross country, and I was faster than the football boy, so they loved me.
B
No way.
A
All the girls love me. Of no. I'm fast.
C
I'll dust you, girl. I'll dust you.
A
Name a distance, I will beat you there. I will meet you at the finish.
C
40 yard dash.
A
I got you. 40 yard that. Are we wearing cleats or whatever you want. Barefoot. Okay. Barefooted girl, catch me outside. Josh, cut to a clip of us, please.
C
I'll smoke you, bro.
B
I don't know. I got my money on Bremen.
A
Is this fast?
C
I'm fast.
B
No. Look at how much.
C
Look at my thighs. Yeah, let me see.
B
There's no way. Bremen. You. You smoke him?
C
No. No.
A
Did you run track?
C
I didn't run track, but I played football and I was fast.
B
Yeah, you play like, third.
C
Third?
A
Well, what. What position? Because I played football.
C
I played quarterback, fullback, running back. I was outside linebacker.
B
Water boy, right?
C
No, you can't do that. You can do that. Well, I got you.
B
What? I don't think. I don't think so, bro. Honestly, I ran.
A
I ran the 1, the 2, the 110 hurdles, the 300 hurdles, and the 400, and I was in the 4.
C
But this is high school. You still running like that, babes?
A
Yes, I am.
B
I. I feel like Bretman's running and being more athletic even now.
A
So we'll put up the clip of me running.
C
Let me see.
B
I'll tell you right now.
A
The third video on my TikTok.
C
I do know one thing. You are strong. As I've seen. I've seen you in the way.
A
Okay, while she's pulling that up. I blew up on Snapchat because I was friends with my whole entire high school, and I would literally just spam everyone the whole day. And then one day, my friend was like, dude, I was trying to show your video to my friend, my. My uncle. I was like, why the fuck you trying to show my video to my uncle? And so she asked. She asked me to upload all of them on Instagram, and I uploaded all of them on Instagram. At this point, I had like 800 followers. Oh, wow. So I uploaded like, 30 Snapchat videos on Instagram, and literally over. Over a span of like, eight days, I got 10k followers just, like, locally. Like, people found my videos.
C
So you were posting on Snapchat just, like, content for your friends?
A
Yeah. And then they were like, girl, post these. Hilarious.
B
Yo, look at that stride.
C
Slow, slow.
B
Look at that.
A
No, this is me after five miles, though.
B
No, you do not run like that.
C
I run better.
B
You're right. No, you don't, bro. Look at that stride back.
C
It's.
A
Do you remember your 440 meter?
C
My 40 yard dash?
A
Yeah, 40 yard dash.
C
Like four or five.
A
Mind you.
B
Mind you, whoever's recording this video is in.
C
You're not dusting. You're not dusting me.
B
They're inside a vehicle following him.
C
Yeah, I don't think I've ever wanted to raise somebody so bad. I want to raise women so bad, I'll smoke them.
A
Okay, but really, you have good form though. But also, I will say, either of you, win or lose, you're gonna lose. Because beating me, everyone's gonna be like, okay, you beat Brett Rock. Like that don't mean shit, Josh. Okay, but if I do beat you, then you're gonna hear about it for the rest of your life.
B
Yeah, you're losing.
A
So I don't know if you wanna.
C
Wait, how tall. What's your. What's your measurement? How tall and how much you weigh?
A
Damn weight class vibes. I'm five six, technically, but I tell everyone I'm five' five because I really like to be on the petite side. I like that. You know, I like how you like to round up.
C
Let me guess your weight. If you're 5 6, I'll put you at 163.
A
Oh, my God, thank you. You think I'm thick like that? No, I'm 147.
B
Like 145.
A
Wow. I'm 147, but I look really good at 150.
B
Yeah, but like one.
A
Wow.
B
I was way off. 145, 150. That's you pretty built though.
A
Yeah, you have.
B
You have nice piernas. You know piernas are.
A
Oh, I do. Is it butt? No, leg. Yeah, leg.
B
Do you know any other Spanish words?
A
Yes, girl. Especially kitchen stuff. Like bassora.
B
Is a hard one.
A
Whoever's. That's my favorite one you say. I like when you. Every time you say huevos, I need to say huevos more.
B
It's more like huevos like with a W instead of an hos.
A
Yeah, we have a lot of like, words that are very similar. Like twalia.
C
Do I ask Tao, right? Yeah, that's what you guys.
A
We pronounce the L. Oh, like twy. Yeah. Because, you know, I think when you guys have two Ls together, it's a Y.
B
Is a Y. Wow.
C
Yeah.
B
Very intelligent.
C
So, Jess, you want to take it away.
A
Yeah.
D
So I. Along that same vein, I found some words in Tagalog that are maybe spelled a little bit differently.
A
Yes.
D
I think you could pronounce it, and then the guys could kind of see if they know. I think they're pretty.
A
Oh, I love this.
C
So.
B
I know.
C
I'm digging your voice. I like this voice.
B
It's very soothing.
A
It's very.
B
Yeah, just like, very sexy right now.
C
Yeah, it's, like, very, like, sensual.
B
How long is it gonna last?
D
This is day three, so we'll see.
A
What do you have?
D
Just a cough.
A
Oh, just a simple cough.
D
Yeah. But I've been coughing so much, it irritated me.
A
No, I love. With my voice like that, I feel.
C
Like there's a sexiness to it.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
D
And if there's any words that I googled wrong, just let me know and we can cut that one out.
A
Guess that. Damn. My producer ain't never prepared like this. If you're watching Clock the. In the.
B
Hey.
C
Nah, Jess is ours. Yeah, she's. She's ours.
A
She's amazing. Okay. Do you guys know Kamusta?
C
Is it like.
B
Is it really?
A
Yes.
C
So, yeah. How are you?
A
Yeah.
C
No way.
A
But basically, would we just say comusta? Yeah.
B
Okay.
A
How do you guys say.
C
It's two. It's two words.
A
And it's C, right?
C
Yes.
A
Dash. Is there a dash?
B
No dash.
C
Wait, wait. Kamustas. So that's one word, but it means, how are you?
B
Yeah.
A
Or, hi, how are you?
B
Yeah, I kind of like Kamusta better than como estas?
A
Yeah. You guys know this one? Escuela School.
B
Exactly.
A
Wow. Yeah. I'm telling you. I'm Philip. Primo. I'm telling you.
B
Chair.
A
Exactly. Celia.
B
Celia.
A
How do you guys. Okay. Yeah.
B
Celia.
A
Celia.
B
Celia. That's a really pretty name, too, for. For a female.
A
Yeah.
B
There's Cecilia.
A
Cecilia. Oh, yeah. That's cute.
B
Yeah, that's a good name and a nickname for, like, Ceci.
A
Cecilia. If you're a boy.
B
Cecilia.
A
What?
B
Kutsara.
A
Kuchara.
B
Kuchara.
C
Wait, like that.
A
Because I'm technically not Iloc. Tagalog. I'm Ilocano. So Philippines has, like, a hundred dialects.
B
Got it.
A
And I know two of them. This one's my second language.
C
It sounds a little like Italian.
A
Yeah.
B
No, you're not. You're making it.
A
We've all our R's. Like, you guys, too. How do you guys spell Cuchara?
B
More like C U, C U, C, H, A double R. One R. One R. Oh, yeah.
A
There's A H in there, right? Because you guys pronounce.
B
C U, C, H. Wow. I did not add. There's so many similar ones. There's so many similar.
A
There's a lot. Binata.
B
Bintana. It's window.
C
Window.
A
Oh. Binata means child. Bintana is window.
B
Is it really?
A
Yeah.
B
Hey, we're pretty good at this.
C
Dude, bro, this is like. They're so.
A
It's the same, you know?
B
Sibuyas, onion.
A
Yes, Onion, beer. Cerbesa. Yeah.
B
Wow, you guys say like that.
A
Cerbessa said you guys pronounce.
B
Okay, now I'm starting to get the feeling that if I land in the Philippines, it'd be. I'll figure it out.
A
Yes. Really? Yes. Because my first ex was Mexican, and he really thought he could talk shit about me with the sisters on the phone.
C
You pick it up?
A
Yes. I'm like, girl, I know what novia means. I know what the fuck you're talking about. Like, I can pick up words where. And then I'll piece them together. Especially, like, if I do hang out, and especially when I'm here in la, I hang out with so many, like, Latinos and Mexicans especially, that I feel like I. I could just kind of assimilate in the group. Like, every time I hang out or see Louis, them. Oh, yeah, they talk to each other in their own, like, little Spanish. And I'm like, I really could pick it up. And I feel like, yeah, you want.
B
To know something funny?
A
I better laugh.
C
Don't this up.
B
When I first laid eyes on Karen, my wife.
A
Hey, I know where this is going.
B
Can I tell you something? He doesn't like when I call Karen my wife.
A
Why? Whoa.
B
What a dick.
C
That's not what happened.
A
It'd be the wifeless bitches.
B
Oh, you wifeless.
C
This is one of my best friends in the world, and we're having conversations about, like, his day. I could tell. And he'll be like. I was like, how was your day yesterday? Oh, yeah. Me and my wife went to go eat dinner, and he gets mad.
B
I know.
C
Karen's my friend, too.
A
You're. I feel, like, isolated.
C
I feel secluded from the conversation.
B
What's wrong with me seeing my wife?
C
There's nothing. Nothing wrong with it.
B
I'm just.
C
I know Karen.
B
Like, I know you know her. A lot of people know her.
A
All right? I can't say I know. I love sarahi too.
B
No, I'm just kidding. But you.
A
But what? What is it? Is it the word wife or is it. No, I think.
B
I think he's Just close to me.
A
Yeah.
C
And maybe I'm like, bro, I know Karen. I know she's your wife, bro.
B
He rather. He rather me say Karen.
A
Yeah, I do feel that way. No, I'm. I know I'm bullying you, but I have friends where I'm literally like, girl, shut up the up. Like, I have like, my man, my man, my man. Like, yeah, yeah.
B
Am I giving up my man?
D
That's.
A
You know what? You really are giving. My man, my man, my man, my man.
C
I'm like, bro, I get it. It's Karen. I know. Look, man, I got married, and I know it's cute. It's adorable. I let it slide, but I'm glad that it was.
B
So I'm gonna say Karen more often now.
C
Yeah.
B
No.
A
So what about Karen you first laid eyed on?
B
Tell me why, Josh.
C
Just get to it.
B
No, I guess it's really not funny, but when I first laid eyes on her, I thought she was Filipina.
A
Oh.
B
So I said I saw ice. I was like, wow. I never thought I would fall in love with a Filipina. And like, when she told me she was Mexican, it's not that I was like, oh. You know, but I was actually really excited to start dating a Filipina.
A
I love that. Why? What do you know about Filipinos?
B
Well, I just know that they're always really pretty, period. Big eyes. I have Filipinas. I feel like she really does.
C
Filipino.
A
Yeah.
B
I always knew that, like, we're very similar. Like, I always knew cultural wise. Cultural wise. It was very similar. Growing up, I had a lot of Filipino friends that were in the military, and I absolutely love their food and their family. So I know that the culture was there. And I was able to, like, if Karen was Filipina, I would have been like, oh, we're good.
A
Yeah.
B
I mean. But obviously she turned out being Mexican. A beautiful Mexican young lady.
A
I remembered the first time I met Karen, actually.
B
And you thought she was.
A
Yeah. No, actually, she came up to me. We were in tar. It was a tart trip. I was still in high school, girl.
C
Wow.
A
And they came to Kauai, which is the neighboring island. Oh, my God. I was like, a surprise that.
B
I think that's where I met you, Right?
A
Yeah. I don't think you were there.
B
I was there.
A
You were?
B
Yeah. I probably look different or you probably.
A
Remember me, but, I mean, who let him in? I'm kidding. No. So Karen came up to me. She's like, you know, we're twins. And I'm like, girl, the fact that you just said that to me. I was literally like, oh, that was my personality my whole senior year. I'm like, yeah, this is my twin right here. Yeah. And I was asking her if she was Filipino, and she's like, no, I'm not. Cause her eyes are literally like mine.
B
Yeah.
A
And so I was like, girl, you. Yeah. I could see why people think we look like. And we have, like, really big features as well. Like, big lips, big eyes. Her brows are very prominent. I see it for sure.
B
Yeah.
A
But I felt like I was such a fangirl in that, and I was really just like. I think I was 17. And Tarte was like, hey, we know you're in the next island over. Just come surprise the girlies that are coming in here. And I was like, oh, my God. And I really feel like I only talked to her and Manny and Patrick. She's such. I love her.
B
Yeah. So I guess that's what my. You want to know what's funny?
C
So you never dated a Filipino?
B
Never in my life or any other race, actually.
C
Filipino.
B
Right.
C
It's not Filipino.
A
She could be Filipina.
C
Okay.
A
I feel like Filipino is already, like, you know how.
B
Oh, wait, did I say it wrong?
C
No, no, I don't. I didn't know. I didn't know. I heard you say Filipina, but I thought it was just Filipino.
A
Yeah. Because I think Filipinos tried to do, like, Latinx thing, and I'm like, yeah. It was a whole discussion. Because Filipino is already gender neutral, so. You're right. So it is gender neutral.
B
Got it. Because, like, I'm Mexicano. Mexicana.
A
Yeah.
C
Yeah.
A
Right.
B
So I just try to say the same thing.
C
Yeah.
B
Apologize if I said anything.
C
That was embarrassing. That was embarrassing.
A
No, you were right. Filipino is gender neutral.
C
Yeah.
B
So I was excited, especially because, like, I'm super into cars, so I thought she's gonna be, like, this really, like, hot import model.
A
Oh, my God. No, that's crazy.
B
This one, I was, like, 19.
A
That is so us. My two cousins.
B
I liked it. Yeah.
A
They're like, car Mazda guys with everything custom. And I. Yeah, that was actually probably my first, like, awakening to, like, Filipinos or Asians in front of the camera. It was, like, hot.
C
Oh, really?
A
Yes. Back in the day. And it's still a big thing back in Hawaii. I don't know if it's the thing here. Like, like, hot import nights.
B
I feel like it used to be, but now it's not much. Like, you don't see, like, the girls and stuff in the magazines.
A
And stuff like that.
B
I think that was, like, a thing before, but one thing, first of all, was hot. Can I say something as well?
A
I. Please.
B
Love. And now when you say Hawaii.
A
Because it's. Can you.
B
Hawaii.
A
Yeah.
B
Okay, I'm gonna start saying it like that now because everyone says I've been.
C
Saying it like that.
A
Girl. No, I watch your Hawaii vlog.
B
Hawaii period.
A
Oh, it's Hawaii or Hawaii. As long as you do a little pause. Just not Hawaii.
C
Okay.
B
It's not Hawaii.
A
No, no.
B
Not how it's spelled.
C
Hawaii.
B
Hawaii.
A
Hawaii.
C
Look at Hawaii.
A
You ate that. You know what I'm saying?
B
Why don't you look at me?
C
Look at.
A
Look at him say it.
C
Hawaii.
B
Oh, what did he look at down there?
A
I know.
C
What did he look at?
B
Giving phallic.
A
Phallic thoughts.
B
Wait, I have a question. Before or me, Right?
C
Yeah. Seriously. Your first ex was Latino?
A
Yeah. He's Mexican.
C
And then have you dated outside of your race since? Or have you.
B
Did you go back?
A
Yeah, my. I've only been with two boys. Okay, well, that's so gross. No, I've been with men, period. I've been with many as well, but I meant, like, I've only dated two. One was Latino and the. The last one was black and white.
C
So I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do remember this.
A
Yeah. I don't know if I could date Filipino, though. Reason being just because each one that I've talked to, like, is once. You remind me of my cousin. You gotta go, oh, interesting. And I have so much fucking cousins that I'm literally like, if I just feel like I am related to you type shit.
B
Yeah, I can see the ick in that.
A
Yeah, I've dated Filipinos before, but, like, it never got to, like, boyfriends.
B
What's one thing that would remind them or remind you?
A
Cars. Short. I don't know. Like, it's just like, certain.
C
Certain features that you would just.
A
Certain features.
C
See it?
A
Like, the noses. I'm like, oh, our nose is a little too. I can't even have kids. And I'm like, I don't want to pass that down.
C
Yeah.
A
You know, like, I would never date a bald man because I don't want my kids to have bald man. I will never have kids.
C
But that's true.
B
Okay, okay. What's something that you really liked about that Mexican ex that you love about Mexico?
C
Yeah, let's talk about him.
B
No, no, no.
C
We don't talk about him.
A
I can tell you what, I didn't like this. Tell me why the this did brujeria on me.
C
No way.
B
What?
A
Yes, girl, I talked about it on another pod, so I won't bore y', all, but el programa Nacional de bececas a Serde McDonald's. And mcdonaldspunta com Yagonal Azer. He broke up with me. And he would always tell me stories about how he would help his auntie do brujeria stuff.
C
Oh, shit.
A
And he would joke around being like, oh, if you ever leave me, I'll make sure you never find anybody again. And me being delusional as fuck, I was like, ah, you so in love. You want this bertusi so bad. Like, just say that. And then he ended up breaking up with me and I got the curse. And I didn't really, like, feel it until, like, two years down the line where I was literally. I told my cousin. I was like, girl, I don't know why, like, she. I couldn't tell when, like, men would be flirty with me or, like, I never. I never found men attractive for two years after you took that feeling away. Yes, because. And then I went to Paris once upon a time, and I felt really weird coming back home. And my manager at the time was like, oh, I found this healer for you. And so this lady, like, laid me out on the table. She's Native American, and started doing performing on, like, performing rituals on me. And she, at the end, she was like, there's this guy, like, holding your heart chakra like this. And she was this. And I think it's your dad. And she started describing him, and I'm like, oh, no, that's not my dad. And I think she assumed that I was Latino because like I said, we look alike. And she was like, oh, he's like, Latino. And I'm like, oh, I'm not Latino. And then he has dimple. And I was like, but you're not saying anything.
C
You're just listening.
A
Yes. And I was literally like, oh, my God, girl, that's my ex. So I was like, I think that's my ex. And then she was like, oh, whoever it was did something and he's holding. Holding your heart like this. And so she made me do a ritual of, like, cord cutting and all that.
B
No way to release it.
A
Yeah, wish.
B
Wow.
C
And then you started, and then you were free.
A
I was free. I didn't feel free until, like, couple months later. Like, it wasn't like an instant thing, like, oh, my God, I like boys again. No, it was. It took me a while to, like, really even get back to Dating, I was like, tmi. But like, I was literally like celibate for four years after my Mexican ex because that's how really traumatized I was.
B
So you can say whatever he did was a little successful. And that's scary.
A
Yeah. He ate though, because hey, X, you ate that up. Because I in that you don't talk to him anymore? No. Girl block? No.
B
Would you talk to somebody?
A
And you know how I know it was real? Because we were no contacts for two years. And the day that I found out and I did the cord cutting, he wants to text me. When I got. He texted me out of nowhere and he was like, there's no way. And he just texts me and he's like, I just wanted to help you. And you did.
B
That's scary.
A
And you did. Because I was so focused on myself.
B
For four years to help that. So scary.
A
And then I blocked him.
B
That's scary, bro. Can you actually go to the police for that? That's kind of scary.
A
I just. I just wanted to do it. Nothing to do with him, honestly.
B
Hava if IO So wait, you did.
A
Talk about the Bounty Hunter on a.
C
Podcast, but I thought you were talking about your recent ex.
A
No, that one was normal. I think it's just cuz, like I'm 27 now and I just. I really don't want to be dating people who are. Who are still figuring out who they are. Yeah.
B
Wow.
A
And if you are figuring out who.
C
You are, which is fine.
A
Like, that's fine, period. But I've known who I was at 8 years old. I know who I was, wanted to be for the world when I was fudgeing 15. I've always known who I was. And I can't help someone figure out who they are. And that was really the honest truth of just like why we didn't.
B
That's super understandable and respectable. Can't believe that motherfucker did Bruh idea on you.
C
Straight, right?
A
No, he ate up though. Because low key. I needed that shit. I needed to focus on myself. And I did. I moved into where I live now. I made so much money in that four years. And it just made me realize also just like how much I love my own company. Yeah. And how much I love me.
B
You know, Obviously been following you. And when I see you, I feel like a lot of times you're. I wouldn't say like by yourself, but I do feel the sense of you love being by yourself. Is that true?
A
Yeah, I'm just me as fuck. Also, it's. I think it's also just like, Let me give you my immigration story real quick. My mom, my sister, and my brother all moved to America before I did. I was left alone in the Philippines with my dad and my grandmother. My dad was a babaero. Like he. By what Baba Ero. I don't know what the. The.
B
Is that kind of like, that's not a lady's.
A
Not a barber, right? No, it's like he. Boy. Yeah, he was a boy. She was always out of the house. I was raised by my literal grandmother and. And she would just like, let me play by myself. And like, you know, in the book, it, like, I don't know why I'm like, so I want to speak Tagalog now. That's fine. But in the farms, like in the rice fields. Because I grew up in the rice fields and I would just. I just. I was always alone and playing with myself. Not in that way. And so I love my pause and I. So I love my own presence ever since I was a child.
C
Yeah.
A
You learned that young. Oh, wow.
B
Yeah, I see it. Do you live by yourself?
A
I do. Oh, do you guys. Well, like being my own.
B
Yeah.
C
Oh, I do.
A
I love it.
C
I love. I thrive.
A
Exactly.
B
I love it. Obviously, like, I'm. I'm married and I live with my wife and stuff, but yeah, you can even tell her I love being by myself. I can have dinner by myself. I can go to dinner by myself. I like doing activities. But the other side of me is I love being around people.
C
I do too. I love.
A
So you like being alone but not being lonely.
C
There it is.
B
What does?
A
Just because I like being alone but not lonely. Yeah.
C
I'm saying.
B
But being lonely is completely different. Right.
C
Lonely is a feeling.
B
Right.
C
That's something you kind of create within.
B
Yeah. Yeah, I would say so. But like, I feel, you know, and a lot of people maybe see us in. In. In. In on social media and they think that we're always around people or always talking. But honestly, I spend, I think a lot of my time at home just being by myself.
A
Yeah.
B
And not talking.
A
Same.
B
And I thrive off that.
A
I get DMS all the time of people being like, I. I see in your stories that you're always alone. Like, I feel. And I'm like, it. I prefer it that, yeah, this is by choice.
B
And I feel like the older we get, the more I love to be alone. I love being at my house.
A
Exactly.
B
I love it. Love going on runs by myself.
C
Yeah.
B
Never do that.
C
I go, do you like working out alone? I do Occasionally. But I enjoy like a good gym partner.
B
Yeah.
A
I like working out by myself, but not in an empty gym.
C
Oh, I like that. I agree with that. Yeah, I agree. I need energy.
A
Yeah.
C
I need people around.
A
Gym gets like eerie. Makes me feel like I'm the only one in the world.
C
Oh, like you said, you have two trainers.
A
Yeah.
C
For why?
B
Well, for why?
A
For. Honestly, just because. No, I. I do like bodybuilding style three days a week and then I do hit style three days a week.
C
Oh, no way.
B
Okay, that's cool.
A
Yeah, so I trained six days a day. I just can't do like one body.
C
It's boring.
A
Boring as. And I think just growing up as an athlete, I've done every sport because my dad was like, I didn't name you Bretman Rock for nothing.
B
It's a great name, honestly.
A
Do you know what I was named after?
B
Bretman the Rock and Rock the Rock.
A
And Brett the Hitman Heart. Whoa. The wrestlers.
B
No way.
A
Yeah, girl. And people thought I made that up. I'm like, girl. Why the would I name myself Brett Woman?
B
If anything, actually sick as.
A
Yeah. So he was like, I did not know.
B
Wow.
A
I didn't name you that and superstar.
B
Name your dad that.
A
It was my dad and his twin brother.
B
What did you call your dad earlier? A Barbara, but a par.
A
Babaero. Baba? Yeah. Because baba means girl. Babaero would be like a woman.
B
Would that be like mujeriego?
C
Yeah, exactly that.
B
Right?
C
Yeah.
A
Yes. Yeah.
C
Oh, is he still like that?
A
Well up there? I think no, he. He died like that too, so. Yeah.
C
Wow.
B
So your name was granted by the wrestling gods?
A
Yeah.
B
That's so cool.
C
So Rock is your official middle name?
A
That's Bremen Rock, period.
B
That's not your last name?
A
No, no, my last name is Sakayanan.
C
Yeah, you can keep that. I didn't know that.
B
Oh, no way. That's your middle name is Rock?
A
Yeah, Bretman Rock.
C
So did you go by Bretman Rock in school and stuff? So you just stuck with it through social media?
A
Yeah. But also like my day to day life, people call me B or Brett. Nobody, nobody ever calls me like Brett Monroe.
B
Brett is such a Disney Channel. Like a little star, right?
A
It's so American. Like when I moved here, I'm like, I don't even need.
B
I'm start calling you Brett.
A
Please.
C
Brett is cool.
A
Yeah. My mom's the only rude one that's like, man, I'm like, of all the Brett man Rock you. You could name me one of the three, but you want to call me A man.
B
Got it.
C
She calls you ma' am man.
A
Or like. But she says it with an accent, so it's like, man. Clock me like that. A full face of makeup, calling me.
B
Speaking of Disney Channel movies, two words and.
C
Oh, yes, I love where this is going. Give it to me.
B
Just, you know, you give it to me when I say you give it to us. I don't know. Maybe it's dumb. Maybe.
C
No, it's not.
B
Maybe you. Maybe because you're, like, a little.
A
What is it?
C
It's not dumb. What?
B
Johnny Tsunami.
A
What about him?
C
Thoughts.
B
What about him? Thoughts.
A
The Hawaiian guy. The. The Johnny Tsunami?
C
Yeah, the Disney Channel original movie.
B
Disney movies. I mean, to me, he's like, hawaii God.
A
I really would.
C
Surfer and surfer.
A
Move.
B
Moved to Vermont because of his dad.
A
Yeah.
C
Never saw it.
A
I have seen it, but I'm not. It wasn't, like, a thing, really. I. At least for me, because I wasn't.
C
A God to you guys.
B
No.
A
You know who our God is? Lilo. Instead. Or at least mine, because this is like.
C
Yeah.
A
How old are y'? All?
C
No, honestly, bro, this dated us. This dates us.
A
For sure.
B
Yes.
C
Can you look up when this came out?
B
Oh, there you are.
C
This. Can I guess? This? Oh, I was gonna say 98.
A
Oh, wow. I was 1.
C
Wow.
B
Oh, my God. Johnny Tsunami was, like, ripping the surf waves when you were one?
A
Yeah, I, I. I don't even think I watched it fully. I know Johnny Tsunami, of course, but I don't think I've even watched this at all.
C
Yeah, you got to watch it.
B
You know I have a tattoo of him, right?
A
Why look.
C
You do? I was like.
A
I was like, what?
B
I would.
C
Do you surf?
A
I caught my first and last wave a couple years ago. No, I don't serve.
C
Wait, why last?
A
It's just not for me. I'm more of a mountainous girl.
C
Sharks.
A
Yeah, especially. I'm always at the beach, but never in the water. I'm always at the sand. I'm a sand bunny.
B
Yeah. I went to this beach recently in Hawaii. I took my wife for her birthday.
A
Yeah. Koalina.
B
No, it was in the North Shore. Oh, damn.
A
Yummy. The giraffe.
B
Yeah, I. I actually felt like a very an adult because I rented a Jeep and I was just driving around Hawaii, period.
A
Just borrow my Jeep next time, okay?
B
All right. I'm gonna go to Enterprise. Please. This last time when I went to Hawaii. Am I saying there you go.
A
Yeah.
C
No, you said it. Excellent.
B
I took Karen for her birthday, and we stayed in Oahu and You have no idea the feelings that I got in Hawaii. Hawaii?
A
Yeah.
B
And I've been there a couple times on some brand trips and. And I went with friends before, but, like, when I went with friends, there was a lot of drinking, staying at the hotel. This time, I really got to see Hawaii the way that I should see it.
A
Yeah.
B
I have never fell more in love with a place. Hawaii has a. There's a special feeling in my heart. Not only was I celebrating it with my wife, and so her birthday.
A
Wow.
B
What a place.
A
It's just fake. Yeah.
B
It's a magical spot, you know? And I haven't even seen it all, which is great.
A
Yeah. You haven't even. So came over.
B
So beautiful. The weather was nice. The people. Oh, the people.
C
Dude, your backyard is insane. We were looking at, like, your socials before, and I was like, I cannot believe that's his view.
A
Every day, girl. Every day. But I think also to your point, I think, like, maybe it felt that way because, like, doesn't Hawaii feel like, not America?
B
It doesn't at all. At all.
A
Like, no offense, America. I don't give a actually, but I.
C
Get what you're saying.
A
It's its own culture. Yeah. Where did you say?
C
Kawaii.
A
Okay. Yeah.
B
Yeah.
A
I didn't recognize my island. Kauai is nice. Kauai makes me feel like I'm stuck on the island, though.
C
That's how I feel.
A
I love Kauai, but I can only spend a weekend there.
C
Like, it is small, but so big at the same. It's weird.
B
It's interesting.
C
Yeah.
B
No, I absolutely fell in love with it, and I plan to go every single year.
A
Please come in the summer, though. I think you guys came. No. Yeah. That's a good time. That's a good time.
B
It was wonderful.
A
That's a perfect time.
B
It was wonderful. I love, love the people from Hawaii, and it was. I love seeing everybody in their huge lifted trucks.
A
I'm telling you, all I would do.
B
Is eat in the food trucks. It was just great.
A
I have a. Even. I have a lifted truck.
B
You're lying.
A
As you want to guess what car I have?
B
Tacoma.
A
No, that's. Girl, that's still profiling.
C
Is it a raptor?
A
How the.
C
I do my research. Brett, man.
A
Oh, you ate that.
B
Wait, you have a raptor?
A
I have a raptor.
B
So do I.
C
And it's lifted.
A
You probably knew that taste, because we have taste, right? Dude, what do you drive? Is that you outside?
C
Whoa, whoa.
A
The sports?
C
No, but I have something like that.
A
Oh, right. I Was like, who driving his bus?
C
No, that's, that was his car.
B
That's my car.
A
That's your bus.
C
You know, I actually, I own a Jeep.
A
I do.
C
I have a lifted Jeep and I have an R8.
A
Oh, period. Yeah, we got, we got cars. Yeah, we got cars.
B
Yeah, I like cars.
C
Cars.
B
Wow. I can't believe you have a raptor.
A
A Raptor. A Tesla energy. I used to have a G wagon too.
B
And I was having a G wagon in Hawaii.
A
Girl, I was the only one with a matte black one. And people were like chasing me. I just. Oh no, it was not it. And then thankfully my broker found somebody that like wanted it because you know, they be losing value and.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
Why am I talking about this next time?
C
This is what happens when you come on a straight podcast.
A
Like, why are we gay here?
B
I, I, I really wanted to. I, the only reason why I brought up Hawaii is because I wanted to see. I forgot the, the beach I went to in Northshore.
A
A lot of people go, was there a m. Was there a jump? Yeah, there's a jump. Why Maya Bay?
B
Why Maya Bay?
A
Just to get here. Did you jump off the rock?
C
You didn't?
B
Oh, he's scared of heights. I'm scared. First of all, I'm scared of backflip.
A
I know Karen did, cuz she.
B
It was hella packed up there. Hella packed.
C
Packed.
B
Hella packed.
A
I want to do it me when I make up excuses.
C
Yeah, it was too.
A
See, I didn't jump because there's a lot.
B
There's a lot going on and I want to leave my girl by herself. My wife.
C
No, that's fair.
A
Yeah. Karen. If Karen jumped, what did you have? Jumped?
B
Yeah, I would jump that. If I know that I'm jumping into water, I'll jump that.
A
Yeah, yeah, I jumped it. It's, it's.
C
How high is it? Like over 10ft, 50ft?
A
Yeah, no, it is. It's pretty high. Yeah, but the water, you have to jump at a certain time because girl.
B
Yeah, it's like.
C
Oh yeah, it'll you. Is that it right there?
A
Why, man?
B
Whoa. That's beautif telling you, bro. I had such an amazing experience.
C
Yo, that is 50ft, which I'll go to eat after. That is hot.
B
It was like a food truck. And then there's this place where they sell a shitload of chicken.
A
Yeah, it was like the rotisserie chicken. It wasn't.
B
Yeah, the rotisserie chicken. It was in front of a super supermarket. What's it called? I forgot it was like super pop.
A
The food land supermarket. Yeah. In front of all the food trucks.
B
It's all rotisserie chicken.
A
Damn, that side of the island is so fun.
B
When I love it.
A
Whenever I feel like I want to feel like I live in Hawaii, I go to that side.
B
Yeah. And then we went to this like little area. It's like a bunch of shops. They had like snow, I guess, like shaved ice.
C
Yeah.
B
And they're super popular too.
A
Yeah. Matsumoto shave ice. There you go.
B
I got a bunch of merch and.
A
Yes, you got the 51st date merch.
C
Is that where they shot it?
B
I guess.
A
No, he was wearing a shirt that was designed for Matsumoto and they made it look thing.
B
Oh, really?
A
But that is where they shot 51st date.
C
I love that movie.
B
Yeah. If I go to Hawaii soon, do you mind if I can come over, please? Obviously I'd come with Karen.
A
Please. And borrow my jeep, Girl, the Enterprise. Oh, yeah, you can.
B
What about if we just like hang out for a day? You pick me up from the airport?
A
Girl, I'm so down.
B
You would pick me up from the airport?
A
Yeah, girl. What? We're friends now.
C
I want to do a day in the life with Bretman. Like, I want to like wake up how you wake up and go to sleep.
A
I said I wasn't a healer, but I would heal you like later.
C
I want to go to the gym with you. I want to like feed your chickens. I want to 10 naked with my butthole out. I want to do all that period.
A
Last.
B
Was out.
A
Girl, I was so high that day. I don't even know why I posted that, to be honest with you. It was supposed to be for my fin stuff, but. But then like, wait, what?
B
Yo, can we pull up the photo?
A
Why do you have the photo is crazy.
C
The photo is so I can follow my friends. That's smart question.
B
So you're high right as okay as.
A
Not right now though.
B
Sure, sure, sure. So you just.
C
Bro, this photo is goals right here.
B
You set up a tripod.
C
This is freedom at its finest.
B
And then you just like time timer.
A
Yeah.
B
And then you walk back naked.
A
Naked.
B
You lay down.
A
Yeah. And then your.
B
You hit the. The.
A
Well, yeah.
B
The chair with private parts.
A
Well, yeah, girl. Anything for the shot. Like, girl, you see how many likes this get? I will do anything.
C
Let's recreate this photo.
B
Even common Scott's dummy. Like, yo, we're saying when we go.
C
To Hawaii we're doing this.
B
Can we do it in your backyard?
C
No, I want this exact photo.
B
You be in the middle.
A
Oh my God. I've never wanted to be a tripod so bad.
B
No, you'll be in the middle if anything.
C
All three of us. All three of us. That's a postcard right there, bro.
B
Mr. Rock. Check this out.
A
It'll be the thumbnail for this episode.
B
Check this out. You're already laying down like that.
C
Yeah.
B
Josh is next to you. Right. With his own lawn chair.
A
Right, right.
B
I stand up naked. I walk through the tripod.
C
Set it. You got to set it.
B
I put the timer and everything. I walk back facing you, running at a pretty high speed to lay down and do the same pose.
A
Yeah. Well, I see.
B
Shall we?
A
I see the vision. It's giving like album cover, honestly.
B
Right. Like, I don't even think the Beatles would ever be this like, artistic.
C
So does your backyard go all the way up to like, or do you have like, what's your. What's the. How does this work?
A
I don't even know what you just asked me.
B
Yeah, what did you say?
C
Like, like the mountains in your backyard?
B
Yeah.
A
Just in front of where you try.
C
Zoom in like all the bushes and.
A
Yeah, right. You see those bushes?
B
That mountain is.
A
Cuz that's another house.
C
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
A
It's kind of like the only neighborhood in Hawaii that's like an acre each.
C
So you live on an acre period?
A
Of course, girl. Wow. I live in my own little land. Wow.
B
How many bedrooms do you have?
A
On paper it's five, but I take technically have like six.
B
Okay.
A
Yeah. Cuz they. My attic is technically like a bedroom. I have like an attic room. You know how they be playing with the rules and regulations. Yeah. So I have like a five bedroom home. I live by myself.
B
And how many chickens again.
A
Girl, are you going to tell my HOA? Because I cannot be written up again. I have 20. What are you talking.
B
Wow.
A
That's. That's all I'm allowed.
C
So you.
A
But I have 37.
C
Do you like nest them? Do they have like, they like lay eggs and stuff like that?
A
Like, bitch, I don't only nest them, I hatch them and everything. I order the eggs on ebay and everything.
C
So you order the chickens. But like when they're an egg.
A
As an egg. And then I incubate them and then. Because I want egg, I want chickens that are like, you know, pretty like me. I don't want no fucking random ass chicken from the street. Like, hell no. So I literally am on eBay like 12pm like bidding on these bitches.
B
Wait you can actually do that?
A
Yeah. And then. Okay, this is so bad. I ship it to my apartment and then I fly back home.
C
Your apartment in la?
A
Yeah. And it's always really good to hatch your own eggs because when, you know, when the. The chickens first, like see the world and they see you, I'm like, it's mommy.
C
They become attached.
A
It's mommy.
B
Imagine being a chicken. The first thing you see is Breadman Rock.
A
That's why they think I'm their mother hand. Like, they're all grown.
B
No way.
A
Yeah, they just flock to me.
B
Wait, what's this epcot looking thing in back of you?
C
That's where they house them.
A
My hype dome, you know?
B
Wait, what do you mean, hype dome?
A
It's just girl, like you just like, I'd be getting high and ordering no hype dome. But I was high when I ordered this and I think it was like I saw it on Tick Tock and it was just two gay guys like building it and I was like, I need one contacted them. I'm like, I know y' all don't ship to Hawaii, but I will pay for a whole crate. And they had a ship. They made it possible.
C
So you're the only one in Hawaii.
A
With this right now? Yeah.
B
Wait, I want to come.
C
And it's just like a. Like a little lounge chair in the middle.
A
I bought it as intention of like making it my podcast studio because everyone's always like, why do you have a whole mountain painted as your background? I'm like, when you have the mountain outside.
C
Yeah.
A
And I listen to them and then this is literally like a sauna, you guys, in the daytime, because super hot.
C
You just like, you just.
A
Yeah, I just. Yeah, there's like a little LG TV in there and I just like watch my things in there.
C
Have you ever slept in it like overnight?
A
No. I'm scared as cuz like the stars.
C
Probably look crazy, right?
A
Yeah.
B
Wow. Honestly, I'm very. I'm like very impressed by.
C
You are fascinating human.
A
No, I can tell y' all just be intrigued as. Because like I'd be like mid answering the last question and you already have another question. How's the.
B
How's the. The whiskey, by the way?
A
Girl, tap me up.
C
Listen, I want to do another glass too.
B
Tap me up.
C
It's the most we've drank on a podcast in a long, long time, girl.
A
Really?
C
We used to get blacked out on podcast. Probably shouldn't say that.
A
Okay, okay. Is it giving part two or what? Because that's A lot. Okay.
C
Go easy on me.
B
You don't have to drink it all.
A
But you poured it.
D
Do you have a favorite chicken?
C
Okay, Jess.
A
Of the boys, period. My favorite chicken would have to be the pink one that I dyed with the dragon fruit, because that really got me some chicken dinner deals.
B
Really?
A
Yes.
C
Chicken deals.
D
What does that look like?
A
Yeah, because I dyed it with the red.
C
Oh, I remember this.
A
The pink dragon. I remember this, dyed it with that. And I think that's the reason why I got the smoothie collab.
C
Wow.
A
Their social media team, that's all they kept talking about, was my pink dragon fruit chicken. And they're like, we have to make it pink. We saw your pink dragon fruit video, and that was that.
B
I am in love with this fruit. It's really good for digestion.
A
Does it make you.
C
Yeah.
A
I like when I can see the seeds. I'm like, oh, my God, I hate.
B
That you look at your own poop.
A
You have to.
C
You absolutely have to.
B
Not all the time.
C
No, you do. Of course, all the time. I mean, like, for the most part.
B
Depends.
C
It's very telling.
B
Depends how it feels when it comes out. I'll look at it. If it feels solid, I just. Just wipe and walk.
A
Oh, yeah. If it was a good poop, I'm like, period. But if it's like.
B
I know what it is.
A
Alarming. I'm like, oh, wait, why is there seeds in there? You know what's, like, the grossest ones?
B
Which one?
A
You know that corn doesn't digest.
C
Yeah. And it just.
A
And it just. You could see it. And I'm like, oh, it's giving a cob.
C
It's like a full cop.
B
Like Mr. Hanky.
A
Yeah.
C
Yeah.
B
Wow. Oh.
A
Oh.
B
You actually did diet.
A
You.
B
You.
C
So you dyed it with dragon. The actual dragon fruit.
B
So when you're on ebay and you're. And you're. And you're. And you're. And you're like, betting on a chicken. What do you look for chicken Bidding.
A
Just the breed.
B
Like, because what kind of breed do you like of chicken?
A
Damn. I think you guys call it Gallo.
B
Yeah, Gallo. But the Gallo is actually a male chicken.
A
Yeah. What is you guys call it?
B
Wait, is it.
A
It.
B
Gaina.
A
Gaina. Oh, Period.
B
And then the gallo is like me. You know, the rooster chickens. Is there really?
A
Yes, they're called hennessies.
C
Oh.
A
And it's when. No, it's for real. And it's when a hen grows, like, the thing, like the crown. I think that's what it's called.
C
Gay.
B
Gay. Really?
A
I know. I'm like lesbian. Just say that. Just say it. What was your question?
B
My question is what do you look.
C
For in a breed?
B
In a breed?
A
Oh, just something I don't have yet. I just like having multiple different type of chickens. And that's also why I don't eat the eggs.
C
You don't?
A
No.
C
So what do you do with them?
A
Because, well, I don't eat the eggs because, like, I know who laid it.
B
Let me find out. You sell chicken? Wait a minute, you're the one on ebay.
C
So do you sell them or.
A
I feed them to my six dogs. That's why their fur be so shiny.
B
Girl, that's actually really smart.
A
Yeah.
B
So you buy super healthy.
A
Yeah, I still get my eggs from Costco.
C
Oh, shit.
B
Yeah. It's super healthy to feed your dog eggs like that too.
A
Yeah.
B
Or whatever.
C
But you just feed it like, just like that.
B
They eat everything.
A
I can't eat the eggs because I know who laid it. Like I'm like, Christina laid this blue one, you know?
C
You really think like that. Like, you just know. So yeah. You're attached. Like you're like that.
A
I know. Yeah. And it feels like my grandkids that I'm eating, eating, you know, there's no.
C
Way you've never had one.
B
Whoa.
A
We've baked with a couple like cookies.
B
But like, don't tell me kind of thing, right?
A
Yeah, but I've never like boiled it and ate it. Like that sounds so gross to me. I, I this morning.
B
Well, you fall in love with your chickens, man.
A
Yeah.
C
All right.
A
I'm literally like Rebecca's child. This is Rebecca's child. Yeah.
C
You have six dogs.
A
Six. And they're all bullies and bulldogs.
C
Holy shit. Do you post them?
A
Pull them up?
B
That's so funny.
A
Do you end that video right?
C
Bremen, this is such a random question. Do you ever like look at your socials and just like, do you just love, you just love your life? I just feel like you're such a person who has such a deep appreciation for like their life.
A
Ah, thank you. I don't do.
C
Maybe not through social, but just like, I just, I just know you feel that in a day to day.
A
Oh yeah, no, for sure. Every morning I could like just sense your gratitude. Live here. Yes.
B
There's your raptor.
A
There's my raptor. And those are my doggies.
B
Wait, that's not a raptor, that's a Dodge trx.
A
Oh, is it not a raptor?
B
Wait, what?
A
See what had happened was I made My straight cousins order it for me because I don't know. So is that not a raptor? It's a trx.
B
Trx.
A
Oh, it's. But it's the same brand as a Raptor or.
C
No, different.
A
No, no, I have a ram. I'm so sorry. Sorry to the audience.
B
No, no, it's still. Still really respectable.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, that's awesome. Like, they didn't discredit you.
A
Okay.
B
Yeah.
C
No, not at all.
A
I just knew I didn't want.
B
We just don't connect that much anymore because I. I have a raptor and I'm so sorry. It's okay.
A
I like, Chuck fished.
B
You Chuck fish?
A
What color is your truck?
B
It's black and white like your ex.
A
Oh, you want to be me so bad. You want to be me so bad. But is it built like a mini fridge?
D
I.
B
No, no, it's not. It's not.
A
My ex was built like a mini fridge. You're built like a full fridge, you know? Yeah.
B
You're a full world.
A
Like a wool.
C
Yeah, but which one? Like this one with the fridge at the bottom?
A
Or am I like the one with the two. The one in the middle and then the one in the bottom with the ice machine. That's what she wants.
B
What kind of fridge am I?
A
Well, no, you give smeg.
B
Okay.
A
I like that. Like, you know, like, you're just industrial. You're like industrial. Lg you.
B
I'm like, what you want to buy? Yeah.
A
Pull up a smeg.
B
This is nasty.
A
Tell me I'm wrong.
B
This. Dude, you're what? Like, there's like just Gatorades in you.
C
Okay. And then pull mine up.
B
You're like a fridge from amp and bro, I'm something you want in your house.
C
Yeah.
B
Damn. Like that.
A
You do give smeg energy. Like, even the way you dress. This is you and this is me with the. This one. That.
C
Yes, That's Josh with the water filter.
A
Yeah.
B
Generic as.
A
Not generic, but high end. Generic.
B
Yeah. You're industrial, bro. You're what they have when you go to A and P. M. You open it, get your Diet Coke. You're one of those. Yeah, I'm a smeg. My boy, man. It's okay.
C
How do I smeg it up?
B
You can't.
C
Is there an extra large smack?
A
You're either a smeg or you're not. I'm a mini smeg. For sure.
B
For sure.
C
I hate.
A
I.
C
You can't be a smag, bro.
A
Smeg. No, cuz, like, look at that. That's. That's Sebastian's. Especially when he has a full pony with a middle part that's Sebast you with that. I was saying that was, like, my favorite hairstyle you do.
B
Okay. Thank you.
A
Like that, you know. You know, you be getting it so slick, I can't shout out.
B
Shout out to my wife. She taught me. She taught me. Now I do it by myself, period. Yeah.
C
A smeg is something you have, like, we're still here. A smeg is something you have, like, in your second home. Okay. But you need. I'm here. I'm like the foundation.
A
Yes.
B
You know, you're the fucking fridge in the. In the garage.
C
I'm everywhere.
B
With all the meats.
C
That's fine. I'm everywhere. Everybody can use me. You know, I'm for the people.
A
Yeah. And it's still expensive. Like, I feel like if I see. I walked in somebody's house and I see that, I'd be like, yeah, this.
B
All you right here.
A
But if I see a smeg, I'd be like, wow, you get the finger claps, you know, it's okay, bro.
B
Can he be introduced or, like, somehow trans Can I. Like, what does he have to do?
A
You gotta. Is.
B
Would it be a different haircut?
C
I think I get my face right now.
A
I think I said that because you're so, like, clean. You're like. You're like the epitome of, like, a man. So. And I think fridge. I'm like, that's the epitome of when I think fridge. You know what I mean? Yeah, but you're more, like, very, like, you're just tailored swag. Exactly. And that's smeg energy. Like, just so cool without trying.
B
I'm custom, bro. You're just a gingerbread house anybody can buy.
C
Gingerbread house.
B
Yeah, Just like, generic, you know? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Hey, I appreciate that, Brett.
C
That I've never. That's what a compliment. Just.
B
Can I say something? I'm really enjoying this whiskey.
A
You've been saying things.
B
I'm really enjoying this whiskey.
A
No, I love it. I. I feel like I feel it in my frontal lobe. Like, that's why I drink whiskey. Do you know why I drink whiskey? Actually, I haven't been a whiskey drinker for that long. Really?
B
Really. Okay. And why is that?
A
Photo shoot for Michael Kors and Bella Hadid was there. What?
B
Oh.
A
And she goes, does anybody have a drink for me before we do this shoot? And then she was like. And they were like, what do you want? And then she Goes whiskey. I just want whiskey. Straight up whiskey. And she was taking shots of whisk. Like slamming them, not slamming them. Like she took like maybe a shot and then she was sipping on it after. And I'm like, I'm gonna be a whisk. And literally, I literally told myself, I'm gonna be a whiskey girl from now on. Because if that's a really cool Bella.
B
Hadid story, that's probably the coolest Bella. Yeah. It made me like, really so cool. Obviously I respect her as a model.
C
Yeah.
B
Or whatever she does. But that's really cool that she said that.
A
It made me feel like the whiskey is where the cool girls are. Yeah. So that's. Ever since then, I've just been a whiskey sour. Yeah. And I. And I genuinely feel the difference because was clear. Like literally if. If this was clear, we would have wrapped it up. I would have been like that.
B
Can I say something?
C
Oh my God.
A
Hit me, girl. This is your podcast.
C
What do you say?
B
I talk the way that I talk inside here is the way that I talk outside over there.
A
Well, say something before I give up on you.
B
Okay.
C
Been there.
B
I'm not a clear person either anymore. See, and I feel like it's the more like I. I don't know, I just grown up and I just steer away from that. And you're right. Like the whiskey is where it's at.
C
This is elegant, this is sexy.
B
And I like sophisticated scotch. Glad you see the old guys and the older women drink whiskey because this is where they ended up.
A
See, now you. You're really seeing me. Yeah, exactly.
C
I like it neat though.
A
What is your drink of choice?
C
Tequila soda.
B
Whatever fits in the fridge.
C
Oh, and there's a of lot outfits.
A
Tequila soda.
C
Tequila soda.
B
Yeah.
A
Okay.
C
Or a skinny margarita.
A
What is your drink of choice?
B
Drink of choice? If I had to pick one like one it just an old fashioned which is. Can be bourbon, whiskey, whatever. But I. I like beer, period.
A
Comment down below what you guys like to drink.
C
A true podcast.
A
I gotta lock in a true podcast.
C
A true podcaster right here. No, I like a skinny margarita. I drink for the effect and I want to keep the calories low. Well, so I can do this. I love like a neat drink like this. Yeah.
A
Oh, I gotta tell you my salute story.
C
Oh, please. Yes, yes, yes.
A
So I was in Japan in May and well, it's not really that big of a salute story. I just brought all my salud stuff and my everyone that I was with and Remy, I also bought it too. We it saved Us. Because I went in the hottest time of the year to go to Japan.
C
Wait, Bremen. Hold on.
A
This was dehydrated, though. Boots?
C
You bought boots?
A
Yeah, girl on TikTok. Shop, period. Because you guys were doing, like, a deal. I was like. And I think it was you that was like. I don't know what it was, but you guys were doing, like, a deal. Like a pack.
C
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
And I'm like.
C
Like a bundle. Like a bundle.
A
Like a. I'll get it for Josh.
C
Wow. That makes me so happy. And I'm surprised that we. I want to. I want to add you to our PR list, obviously, make sure that we.
A
Oh, that was me shooting my shot, actually. I feel like y' all don't promote Salud enough on here.
C
I just.
B
Was that a bit.
A
No, I'm kidding. No, I was just, you know.
B
Yeah, I got it.
D
What. What flavors do you like?
A
I like the class. The first one. Oh, the hibiscus. The hibiscus was really good, but no, the. No, you guys. Hold on. You stress me. It's the second. Was that. Not the first one? The Horata one orchata. Isn't that your first one, or.
C
That was our second one. That was the second one.
A
Jamaica was really good. That one's my favorite one. With the energy.
C
Yeah. We have an energy one as well. Of the Jamaica.
A
The. That's the one I'm talking about. That we brought to Japan. Yeah. Because it was so hot. And that was. That saved me.
C
Bremen. I'm. I'm literally like. I'm.
A
Thank you.
C
That means so much to me.
A
I don't know if the whiskey's turning.
B
You red or me, but it's you for sure.
A
No, but send me some.
C
Done, done, and done, please.
B
Absolutely.
C
That's so cool. I love hearing stories like that, especially when people, like, bring it to, like, other countries and stuff. I think that's badass.
B
Yeah.
C
Yeah.
B
I always take my. To Japan. I told you. I was like. I'm the first.
C
He was.
A
No, I was technically. Because you guys went to Japan after me.
B
Yeah.
A
Because you guys went to Okinawa, right?
B
Oh, yeah.
A
You're talking about that time I was in Japan.
B
I'm gonna give it to you. That's fine, girl.
A
I know my. I love. Right.
B
I love Japan.
C
I want to tell my Dr. Groot story. So this is not a promo, no plug or anything like that, but.
A
Yeah, so don't be clipping this Dr. Groot without paying me.
C
They probably will, but it's all good. I love your hair.
A
I like.
C
And My girl loves your hair. And I saw a video where you were talking about this, like, ointment.
A
Yes.
C
Do you know exactly what it is?
A
I know exactly like that.
C
Like, you. You rub, like, on, I guess, like, on the. The hairline of your hair. And you. You talked about on the podcast, and then it ended, and this guy just goes on talking about, I got the product that Bretman's talking about. This is it. This is what you guys need to be using.
B
And it wasn't the same, and it wasn't Dr. Groot.
C
It was like a random ass, like, product. So I ordered it, I bought it, and then I just remember being like, this doesn't seem right. It just didn't feel right. And then you had to do this whole video where you were talking about, like, guys, people have been using my clip, talking about a product that I'm not promoting.
A
Damn, Josh. I fell for the scam like that.
C
Yeah. Can I tell you something? There's two people in this world, and you can clip this that I've been influenced by. It's Karen and you. Karen. I got influence. She has this little tripod thing that I bought, like, 10 years ago that I use all the time. And then now the DOC product.
A
Well, it looked like it worked. You have hairline.
B
Yeah.
A
But why were you using it? You have so much hair.
C
I don't know. I got. I don't know. I'm getting older, so I just worry about it. I want to make sure I like. I. So I bought the shampoo poo. I bought the hairline thing, and I use it.
A
It really does work, though.
C
Yeah. I feel like my hair is more like. Like, just fuller. I feel great.
A
Wait, so you actually use that all the time?
B
Should I use it?
C
Bremen? I use it all the time.
A
Isn't it actually good?
C
I got my girl using it, period. Usually it's the other way around. I'm like, you got to use this.
B
What is it?
C
It's a doctor grew thickening shampoo.
B
Okay.
C
That I utilize every day.
B
So I shampoo.
C
It's just. No, no, no. That's one aspect of it. They have a full line of products.
A
Wow.
C
I'm giving them a no.
A
You're really out.
B
You want to chill or, like, you.
C
Because I love it. And then they have this, like, pen thing that you apply, like, on the. On your hairline or wherever you're balding. Oh, yeah. Wherever you're balding, you can throw it throughout your hair, your whole hair, and it's incredible, bro. I've honestly, I'M not thinning or anything like that, but I just worry about my hairline. I want to make sure.
B
Well, you're preventing it, right?
C
Yeah, but I'm not against. I'm not against hair tr. Hair transplants, anything like that. As soon as I start B, bro, I'm immediately going to where.
A
Yeah, yeah.
C
I'm not. I'm not.
B
That'll be fine. Fun.
C
Yeah. I'm doing it for sure. But in the meantime, I'm lucky right now, but, you know.
A
Yeah.
B
I'm starting to recede a little bit.
A
I saw that. Okay. That. That was for the clip.
C
Yeah. And it ends right there. Yeah, I saw that.
A
I saw that. Well, yes.
C
Well, yeah, I feel like you don't have. I feel like you have a good hairline. Yeah, I have a widow. My hairline, like, pushes back a little bit.
A
Bit.
B
No, mine pushes farther back than yours. You want to say.
C
Yeah, I do.
A
Damn.
C
Actually, you're not bad, bro. What are you talking about?
B
But I'm worse than you. But I feel like this is just who I am.
A
Yeah, I can see your thoughts, right?
B
Like, you know, like when. When you, like, are at church and, like, you go like this. I go like this, like, all the way back.
C
Yeah.
A
It's such a look, though. It's such a look.
B
It's a good look. Right?
A
Right.
B
Cool.
A
Even your blonde era was a look.
C
I love the blonde era. I love.
A
Will we ever get it back?
B
Did you have a crush on me? If you had a crush on me, I'll bring it back and I'll cut my hair.
A
Actually, I will say yes. Okay, well, don't cut your hair right now, though. Don't cut your hair right now. But I can't wait for the blonde era again, period.
B
I liked it. It's just a lot of upkeep.
A
Did you do it yourself?
B
No, I had a hairdresser do it for me. Shout out Ireland. She did it for me.
C
Evelyn did it.
B
Evelyn was my hairdresser for, like, three.
C
Oh, wow.
B
Well, however long I was blonde, you.
A
Had that one like silver. Right.
B
And then when I. Yeah, she was great. That's why I always went to Evelyn, because she was amazing.
C
But when I. I'm gonna have her do mine.
B
Before I got married. You would never. Before I got married.
C
Right.
B
When I got married, Karen said to switch it to. To back to back dark, and I did that.
A
Yeah.
B
Which was good.
A
I think that's when I met you, actually, as a blonde. Sebas. Yeah.
B
Yes, bro.
C
You look like such a. Like, reggaeton Artist.
A
Okay.
B
Okay. That hair right there, that's.
C
That's giving.
A
Whatever.
B
The one that you just pulled up, Jess. That one. Can you hit that? So, like, so it's not as pixelated. Okay, that right there, that looks great.
A
That's a moment, right?
B
It's like ombre to blonde.
A
You kind of cooked with that. That.
B
Yeah. Me. Me and Karen look. Really?
A
Even when it was, like, a little bit shorter because you also had it kind of, like, buzzed with blonde. No. Am I. Did I imagine that?
B
Me looking at myself like that? It's like, should I go like that?
A
Like the very first one. I think that's how you looked when I first met you, bro.
C
That's a vibe.
B
Do you remember where we met?
A
It was definitely like, a party of some sort. But I do know how. I know of you, and I don't know if.
B
Wait, is it bad?
A
No, it's not bad, but I think it was El Programa Nacional de becas Hace serde McDonald's a beneficiado mas de diatrentais, de historia de generaciones, And McDonald's Punta com yagonal hacer. I just don't want to say the wrong characters, but I think it was me and Manny mua. And we were talking about how hot everyone's husband is. All the beauty girls.
C
Oh, this is good.
A
And we were going down the line.
C
Yeah.
A
And then he was like, was I top three? Girl, you were top, period.
C
Yeah. I was gonna say, I think you're.
A
Top, because we were like. And then Manny goes, have you seen Karen's man? And I'm like. And at that point, I. I don't think I met you yet. I'm like, no, I haven't.
C
Oh, you love this dude.
A
He pulled up pictures. Literally. He's like, keep going. And then. And then he was like, oh, you have to see Karen's man. And then he pulls up pictures. Also, Manny, if. If it wasn't you, I'm so sorry.
B
It sounds like Manny.
A
I really do think it was Manny, though. And he pulled it up, and I'm like, oh, my gosh. And I think I met you probably the. That same weekend.
B
Oh, cool.
A
And I'm like, oh, my God. He is better looking in person. And. And I think I met you. And I was like, okay, this makes so much sense for Karen. You know what I mean?
B
Like, yeah, I love that.
A
This is so.
B
Dude. I mean, you know, it's like the fact that Bretman Rock says that. It's like, it means something.
C
Approval.
A
No, Karen ate Karen Ate.
B
I also ate, though.
A
I also ate well, you know, I.
B
Feel like, like if. If we put myself and. And Karen, my wife, in. In, you know, in front of the world and who's hotter? I think Karen would get me for sure.
A
Yeah, Karen ate. But you got lucky.
B
Karen ain't.
A
I got lucky.
B
I like that.
A
Wow. I like that.
B
I'm gonna put that in my Instagram bio.
A
Yeah, Karen a.
C
But I got lucky.
A
Yeah, you got lucky.
C
That's your bio.
A
I did get lucky.
B
I got very lucky. But like, I don't like it when people like, like go up to me like. Like they. They almost make me feel like I met her like three years ago. I met her when I was like 19.
A
Oh, my God. So, like, how old was she?
B
Yes, I got lucky, but like, I've been with her for like a long time, you know, I mean, you saw.
C
You saw it.
B
I saw the whole thing.
C
Ahead of the curve.
B
Well, I didn't see anything. I just. I was there for her and she was there for me, you know? I mean, so like, that's what makes it even more special.
A
Did you know right away where you're like, she's. It's her. Yeah.
B
I was like, damn.
A
Feeling sleep period. Big car model period.
B
No, but yeah, I always liked her. She's. I mean, she's wonderful. What's not to like about?
A
Exactly.
B
Sarai. What's not to like about Breadman Rock?
A
I'm saying, like, the fact that you.
B
Have exes blows my mind.
A
It makes sense for me too though, because I feel like I give like, divorced uncle energy. No, no, no. Oh, really? I feel like I would I give that divorce.
C
I feel. I feel like I see you in a relationship, like a very thriving relationship. That's what I see for you.
B
You give you head at devil's worst Prada.
A
Thank you.
B
You know the one that she's like, she runs her man. She's top dog.
C
But do you want somebody like that, you want to control somebody like that.
A
You want to be girl? I just want somebody that has their life figured out. This.
C
I feel like Bremen, you want a true partner. You want somebody that like, you grow with?
A
Yes, dude.
B
Bremen's lifestyle is.
C
It's not for the week, but it's not for the week.
B
For the week. But like, it's also like, like, if you really look at it, it's a simple lifestyle.
A
It is.
B
So like, Bremen just wants someone simple.
A
Right.
B
But like at the same time, someone just level headed with him. You know what I mean? Doesn't have to impress them. But, like, at the same time, he's just a normal human being who just enjoys life with him because it has goals and ambitions. Of course.
A
Thank you. Because people. Because a lot of the guys that I talk to, they let their insecurities, like, kind of, like, get to them before we even get to anywhere. They're like, because of you.
C
Because of their intimidation.
A
Yeah. They're like, oh, why? Why me? And I'm like, right away, right? I'm like, okay, yeah. That's one way to lose me. I'm like, why you? Because you're regular. Like, I don't.
B
Like, you're already there.
A
Yes. I don't want to date a famous person. Like, literally nothing makes me want to fucking crawl in a ball more than, like, other famous, like, thinking about dating another famous person person. I really don't. That's not my type at all. I. I love. As bad as it sounds like, I love, like, regular, real people.
C
People.
B
Yeah, no, I know what you mean.
A
Because I. That's what I plan on being in my 50s, 40s. Like, I want to literally just disappear and go back to the Philippines and not be really.
C
You want to move to the Philippines? You wouldn't say in Hawaii.
A
I would. I would still come back and forth. But I think ultimately, like, I want to die back home in the Philippines. America is so.
C
Yeah.
B
Yeah.
A
They do not deserve my dead body. I don't want to be buried here. I'm sorry.
C
I get it.
B
I love that. Yeah. Kind of. Right? It's like you really giving your body to a country.
A
I don't want to rest. I've like, if there is no resting in that.
C
That's very interesting.
A
There is no resting in peace in the US But I could rest in peace in my little land back home.
C
I've never been to the Philippines, but I want to go.
A
You would eat it up, but people would probably think, like, you're, like, Superman back home.
B
Why is that? Because, like, not everyone is at his stature or something like that.
A
No.
B
No one looks like.
A
We love, like, just, like, westernized stuff. Okay. Like, I remembered when my manager came to the Philippines with me, and they thought she was a celebrity because she was white.
C
Wow.
A
Yeah. So I think Josh, going to the Philippines, where, like, Filipinos, we don't really grow that tall or big. Really?
C
Neither do Mexicans.
A
They would really think you're Superman. They'd like, oh, my God. That is.
C
I just put the curl, like, extra curly in the front, too.
A
It is there already.
B
You know what? I Mean, not him landing in Manila with a Superman outfit.
A
Right? Have you been?
B
No. It's one of the places where I would actually love to go to, period.
A
Yeah, you would love it.
B
I just don't.
C
Like, what's the agenda?
B
Where do we go in Manila?
A
Well, the Philippines has a thousand islands, and with so many islands, so I would literally not even go to Manila. I would just go to visit, like, a island and, like, live your island fantasy there.
C
How often do you go back?
A
I go back once a year, but it's been twice a year ever since, like, four years ago. So it's usually one for work and then one for pleasure. Wow.
B
So you get booked out there?
C
Oh, why?
A
I'm beyond today.
C
There's. There's. I believe it.
A
I love you. I feel so famous when I'm back.
C
Streets. Do you have security with you at all times?
A
Like, yes. You have to.
B
Yeah.
A
No, I'm literally. I forget I'm Filipino. I'm literally like. Like, how do you guys know me here? It's crazy because at the airport, like, literally, like, they. They bombard a bad. I'm like, I can't even imagine. I feel that way with Latino followers. That's how they were with the clip. I'm like, damn. I didn't even realize y' all know me like that. But, yeah, I feel like you have.
C
A super strong Latino following, though. Like, your Latinos love you.
A
I really do. I really do. Did you know Louie used to be, like, a big Bretman Rock fan? And he has a YouTube video out where he was, like, trying to find me during VidCon in 2020, 2016.
C
Did it happen? Did he find.
A
He found me.
B
Oh, really? I'm glad he found you.
A
That's awesome.
B
Yeah. Shout out Lou. He's super nice guy.
D
We kind of lost the train of thought about the itinerary for the Philippines. Like, what?
C
You like that question, Jess?
D
I did.
C
I nailed it.
A
Oh, period. I was just saying I would probably just island hop. Like, I would skip Manila.
B
Like, there's thousands.
C
Can you pull up the. The map again? I actually didn't realize how. How the geography of the Philippines was like, that's crazy. What's the main island?
A
Manila. That would be Luzon. So it's broken up into three sections, like, Luzon, Visayas, Mindanao. So Luzon would be the very top. You see the Luzon up there?
C
Yeah. Where were you born?
A
The very tip top. Wow. Yeah. So my family ended up in Hawaii because a lot of the farmers in Hawaii, like, the. The dough plantation and the sugar plantation. They were shipped from the top part of the Philip. The Philippines. Not shipped, like migrated work. Yeah.
B
Wow. There's a place called Negros. That's tight.
A
Negros Occidental.
B
Yeah, Negros Occidental. I swear to God. It's like the same. We speak the same language.
A
Exactly. I'm telling you. There's even a place in Luzon where they speak straight up. Up. It's called Chavacano.
B
Chavacano.
A
Chavacano. And it's straight up. Just Spanish.
C
Oh, no way.
B
I know. Chavacan is like, a slang word for Salvadorians. Oh, yeah.
A
Means.
B
I forgot what it means. Can we pull it up real quick? It's chavakan, bro.
C
This is so random.
B
It's a funny word.
C
So I have. I have somebody working on my, like, home office. Her name is Julie, and yesterday I was talking to her about you coming on the podcast.
A
Oh, my God.
C
And she's from El Salvador. Like, literally just came here recently, and she said that you were one of the first, like, American people she would watch in El Salvador. Like, her and her family would, like, gather around to watch your content, period.
A
Shout out.
C
And I was like, I gotta tell him the story. This is, like, so cool. And she's like, yeah, but she's like, in El Salvador, they would watch Bretman. She was, like, almost crying that we were like, we had Bretman on the podcast. She was like, wow, that's crazy. Like, my sister would watch him. We would watch him. And Karen was another one, too.
A
Don't do that.
C
Yeah. Crazy.
B
Oh, someone or something that is vulgar, crude, rude, or in poor taste.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
Speaking of words, our next segment is one word challenge with Bretman Brock.
A
One word challenge.
C
Yeah. So we're gonna just tell you something, like, a word or a sentence.
A
Oh. Period.
B
It's like a word or a phrase.
C
Or a phrase.
A
Yeah.
B
And then you tell us whatever comes in your mind.
C
Yeah. Can I go first?
B
This is one word challenge with Bretman.
C
Rock la.
A
Famous.
C
You don't have to answer in one, like, one word, by the way. The. We're going to give it to you in one word. You say what you. However you feel about that word, period. Okay.
A
Famous.
B
Bad bunny.
A
Another word that we both have in common. Conejo. Bad bunny. My man. Like, he's so flying, y'. All. Oh, my God, the Grammys. His outfit was so good.
B
It was, right?
A
So good.
B
Yeah, he has.
A
He's honestly just, like, so tailored.
B
Like, so what we call avant garde. It was so nice.
A
Very smeg energy. Right?
B
It was like Ultra. Like the smack that no one has. Yeah, only him.
C
One of one smack.
B
101 smack. Customers custom, everything tailored. Next word.
C
Josh Leva, Latinos.
A
Oh, spicy.
C
Yeah.
A
I feel like all. All of y' all are very spicy.
B
Yeah, one way or another, we're pretty spicy, Dude. Going commando.
A
Very straight, I would say. Straight.
B
Really? Is that a straight thing going, girl?
A
I would never be going. Come out, girl. No. Hell no.
C
I love going commando.
A
Me too.
B
The more I. The more older.
C
I don't do it often, but when I do it, I'm like this. That's what I say. I go this period.
B
Does your chili feel good?
C
Everything feels good. I feel free, man.
B
Yeah.
C
Yeah.
B
All right. Mexican food.
A
Fart girl. My ex used to feed me Mexican food. I love it so much, but I'm always like, damn. Yeah, I be far. And because y' all love beans.
B
Yeah, a lot.
C
Hot.
B
And tortillas.
A
And tortillas. I'm like, damn.
B
Yeah. If. If you go into a Mexican restaurant, what's, like, the number one dish that you order?
A
Oh, guys, don't judge me. I'm basic as. I love birria taco.
C
Oh, birria taco.
A
Yeah.
C
That's not basic at all.
A
My favorite is cactus, actually, the. The food truck, but it has to be the number two or four.
C
Only in Studio City.
A
Yes. Oh, and I get the carne asada. Five of them.
B
You just saw how much business you just gave them.
A
I know, but only order from the 2 and 4.
C
Yeah, yeah, they make a difference. Like, each number is, like. It's the same franchise, but for whatever reason, each number, it's, like, different.
A
No, they may really make it differently. Yeah. And their horchata is really good, too. Not better than salutes.
C
No, not at all.
A
Use my code.
B
You gotta do a code now.
C
Oh, my God, bro. Literally, as soon as he's out. Yeah, we're doing a code. Next one. Hawaii.
A
Hawaii. I would say peace, aloha, very peaceful back home.
B
Great food. You love Hawaii.
C
Like, well, you would never live in la.
A
I feel like now, in this time of my. Like, if you were to ask me this question a couple years ago, I'd be like, no. But now I'm like, I don't mind living here. I think I might actually live here for a couple months at the end of the year because I'm getting my kitchen remodeled.
B
Well, you said you just have an. You have an apartment.
A
I have an apartment in Marina, and I want to live my LA fantasy. Like, I want to go to my Pilates Glasses. Yeah, like that. So I. I don't know. I think I might live here for a couple months later in the year. But full time? No, I love my dogs. I love my little yard.
B
Yeah, I mean, you live in paradise.
A
Wait, I didn't ask you this, but did you get to eat poke back home?
B
Of course. At that one store that looks like a food land. Food land.
A
Did you get to try any food period?
B
Dude, that was kind of.
C
I'm going back. I'm going back this summer. I'm taking it, you guys.
A
I hope you guys. I'll come back somewhere. Please.
C
Let's go.
A
Let's go.
B
You want to go with me?
C
Yeah. Just us two.
B
Really? For the pick.
C
For the pick.
A
For the pick.
C
Yeah. I'm not even joking.
B
I just gotta work on my glutes because my. I have a snake ass. Have you ever seen a snake ass?
A
What is this? Is it when you have a dimple on the side?
C
No, it's never ending.
B
It's. Well, it's never ending. Ass on a snake.
A
There's no.
B
There's none.
A
It's just.
B
It's just. It's just. I'm just a slender ass.
C
You just gotta start squatting.
B
You know who Hank Hill is? I have a Hank Hill ass. You can Google it later, please.
C
Oh, you want.
B
You want. Do you want to do that right now? There it is.
A
Oh, you have one of those.
B
Someone make a Hank Hill ass.
A
Like, it, like, folds. It like folds.
C
It goes inward. It goes inward. Such a sick R, but you should put that in your man cave office.
B
Yeah. Hey, hey. But you know what? God couldn't make me that perfect.
C
No, I was gonna say, like, there has to be a little bit of give.
B
Yeah. Like, okay, if I can just have a snake ass for the rest of my life. But, you know. Anyways, it's not about me. Next word. Fruit.
A
Fruit. Gay.
B
I love it.
A
Very fruity. Gay vibes. I love fruits.
B
Favorite fruit.
A
My favorite fruit, Mac man. Oh, let's segue into this.
B
Not yet. Not yet.
A
I love a mango. Like, I could up a mango.
C
Yeah, I love mango.
A
But secondary would be watermelon and Korean pear. Have you guys ever had Korean pear?
B
I've never had a Korean pear.
C
They're the ones that come in the white. Like, they always ride.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's so crispy.
B
Yeah, yeah.
C
Very sweet.
B
Next word we're gonna do is Jim Gym Lockwood.
A
I would say locked in, because you got to be locked in when you're in the gym.
B
Of course.
A
I'm not there to play around.
C
Do you take supplements besides salute?
A
I take aminos right now. You take creatine, Girl, I. I would take creatine, but I really.
B
Do you feel like creatine gets you big? Because it doesn't.
A
I don't think it makes you big, but I really feel like it gives me cramps.
C
Really?
A
Because the creatine that I take or that I'm currently taking, I am. I am taking creatine right now. Now is.
B
Yes, it gives you cramps.
A
Yeah. She don't drink a lot. No, like cramps.
C
Oh, like your muscle cramps? Yeah, you gotta drink a lot of.
A
Way to remind myself to drink a lot of salud. I'm really out here selling your.
B
I'm telling you to have a brand and to have people talk like that.
A
Yeah. Literally. Yeah. So I do be getting cramps from it, but. But I have salud. So.
C
Yeah, I love that.
A
And I'm in the PR now, so.
B
It'S like I never have to worry about cramps.
A
So. Yeah. Cre. Keep it coming.
B
I love that. Was that all the words? Oh, congratulations. That was really good.
A
Thank you.
C
The reason we had the mangoes here, Jess, do you want to talk about it?
A
Cuz I feel is cuz I cut a very particular way and we wanted to know why.
C
And we want to see it.
B
Live and see.
A
Okay, let's do it.
C
We have a knife.
B
It's not a knife. It's a Navajo or, you know, what is it here?
A
Actually, we call it cochilia.
B
It's okay. Cuchilia.
A
What. What do you guys call it?
C
Oh, do you have a mango preference that you feel like you.
B
No, give them.
A
The phallic works on the most ripe one. So I think the phallic one has to.
D
Or to touch them. They look a little green, but they're.
B
You're holding that mango kind of.
C
I was making sure.
A
I know. I feel like you should hold it like a football.
B
Okay, so we have to sit Indian style.
A
This is the Indian one, I think. Is this the Indian mango?
C
Wait, what?
D
I don't know. I don't think so.
B
Dude, you're like the first guest that we.
C
Can you sit like that?
B
Indian style?
C
Can you sit like that?
A
Really? Yeah. I was gonna ask.
B
Nowadays, can people say Indian style?
C
That's racist.
A
I can't say. It's crisscross apples.
C
Yeah, it's crisscross applesauce, my boy.
B
When I was in elementary school, it was just. Even the teacher would say, sit in.
C
Yo, pour me up some more whiskey. Make yourself useful, my boy.
B
Don't ever talk to me like that. But I will.
D
Do you need napkins maybe, just in.
C
Case it's gonna get messy. Your hip.
A
Your hip, because you have no eyes there.
C
Okay, wait. Sorry. This is random. Do you think you can get up, like, from that stance, like standing up? Do you think you. Do you have the hip flexibility to do that? You could.
B
Could you sevas if you ever gone to my head.
C
Yeah.
A
Can you do an Asian squat?
B
The.
A
Is that Asian squat?
B
I don't know what that is.
A
I'll show you after.
B
You don't know what is it?
C
It's literally. I can show you.
A
Can you? I feel like your big ass can.
C
I think I got it. Basically, it's just like. It's just like squatting completely, right?
A
Yeah. But sit sitting like that for a while. It's just.
B
That's an. Yeah, I think I can do it.
A
Cuz a lot of people can't.
B
Yeah, I think I can do that.
A
Yeah. Let's see it.
B
Do it.
C
You have to do it.
A
Damn, he just got comfy in his Indian squad.
B
I know. I was like, oh, torso. You know what tor means?
C
No, no, deeper, deeper. Go deeper.
B
You got to go deeper, deeper.
C
Like, so do the. Do the whole camera, bro. You got to, like, sit in it. Like, literally sit. Like, you got to be like, on your heels.
A
Like, kind of like spread apart. Like, more spread apart.
C
Oh, holy.
B
You just sat down.
A
Yeah, yeah. Like, you're kind of like leaning back, cuz you're.
B
You're like this, bro. You're like.
C
You're doing this. You got to sit.
B
Sit.
A
Sit down.
C
Sit back. There's no way.
A
There's no way.
B
There's no way.
A
That's good for the intro. It's good for the intro. Not the girls fighting.
B
I'm sorry.
C
Busy.
B
No, we'll figure it out later.
C
Here, just drink straight from the bottle, bro. This is reminding me of, like, two years ago podcast. Just chaos, which is great.
A
Cheers. Cheers.
C
Cheers, guys.
A
Everybody be drinking.
C
Yo, camera four is lit it.
B
Let's all have a great year, huh?
A
How about.
C
How about that?
B
How about that?
A
2026 is a great.
B
How about. How about that?
A
How about you? About that?
C
I like the whole. The whole 2016 trend that's kind of going around because 2016 was incredible. I feel like this is.
A
This is that year. Betty Wap just got out of jail, girl. We get in 2016, we go. We go for real. Also the music back then. I'm like, anyways, this is a mango. If I had to take a guess, I think it's actually an Indian mango, based on how long it is. There's a lot of different mango breeds, but basically I found this way of cutting it, because I guess the. The Egyptians did it, but you cut around, like, a full circle like this.
B
Okay. The Egyptian. This is an Egyptian technique, ladies and gentlemen.
A
Yes, like that.
C
That's perfect.
B
That was actually perfect.
A
And then you twist her and you just pull.
C
There's no way.
A
Seed out.
C
There's no way.
A
Such a tiny seed.
B
Wow. It doesn't have a tiny.
C
So usually, like, the seed is still in there.
A
Like. Yeah, I can try it on those. But yeah, yeah, you just eat it like that, and it's less messy than the.
B
Really? Wow. Incredible. Well, if it. If it has such a tiny seed.
C
You want to cut another one. I want to see you do it.
A
Try. See the soft. Try look for the softest one, because the hardest ones, those look hard. I think that top one.
C
Yeah, you're right.
A
Oh, this one will go.
C
How is that?
A
This one has a fat seed, but I don't know how people be this up. It's like you just cut a circle.
B
This is a really good mango, you guys.
C
It's okay.
A
What do you guys call mango?
C
Manga Mango.
A
We call it manga.
C
I feel like I'm gonna like that mango better.
A
Wow.
B
Okay, so those are the mangoes that I grew up with.
A
Yes. And then with this part, you just.
C
Like, bro, this is pure mango juice.
B
Is that good?
A
Who grew this?
D
Some lady named Melissa.
A
Who the.
B
Who the.
A
You need your ass.
B
You need your ass.
C
This mango is better than that one. This mango's been known by far.
B
Did you guys ever wonder who the first person who got their assay was?
C
Yeah, I feel like that was, like, first.
B
Do you think it was a girl or a guy?
A
I feel like it was Mary Magdalene. Who? Mary Magdalene. She was a prostitute.
D
She's in the Bible.
A
She in the Bible.
C
Oh, my bad.
A
Right? Pull up her socials.
B
Mary Magdalene, come on the podcast, yo, chat.
C
Let's get mar on the pod. Come on.
A
Chat.
C
Tap in chat.
A
If y' all can harass me to come here, you can wake her up.
C
Just, like, be so for real, yo. That's crazy.
B
Look at her. So was she, like, a little skunka or what?
D
Yes, she got stoned to death.
B
Oh, that was her.
D
That was her.
C
For being. For being.
A
For being herself.
C
Yeah, for being herself, which is stupid.
A
What?
C
Stupid, man.
A
Sorry. I like, my ass ate.
B
Yeah. What's wrong with that.
A
It's so cool how, like, she was a prostitute, right? Yep.
C
Yeah, she was.
A
It's so cool how processes go way back. Like.
C
Yeah, I think that's like.
B
Like, it's been a thing.
C
Things like.
A
Yeah.
C
Forever.
A
Dude, this.
C
I love eating a mango like this. I've never done that. This is my first time.
B
Yeah, same. And you're right, it's way less messy.
A
Yep, exactly. Thank you. Thank you.
B
Wow.
C
Cleanliness is godliness.
A
Clip that. You better clip that.
B
Dude, Bretman, what you keep on talking about, like, your trainers are Mexican. Your friends over there were Mexican.
A
Yes. Where are they at?
B
Because when I went, I didn't see no Mexicans.
C
There's no Mexicans.
A
No, I said they're Latinos because my trainer is Dominican.
C
Dominican, okay.
A
The wife is Puerto Rican.
B
Got it. And they knew.
A
Yeah. And I have. And there's a lot of, like, Minnesota military people back home that are like.
B
You're right, because Pearl Harbors.
A
My friend Zuli, my. I see her every day. She's Mexican. She's the one that sent me this.
B
No way.
A
Yeah.
B
Oh, wow. And these are people that you grew up with?
A
Yeah, People I see every day for sure.
B
Shout out to Zuli.
A
Thank you, Zuli. You ate.
C
I like Zuli.
A
Wait, why is this mango actually so good, though? Like, not even going front.
C
I haven't ate yet.
B
I'm. This is my first meal, bro.
A
I think that's why the drinks are giving. They're giving, period.
B
You know, every time I go to, like, a brewery or, like, tequila. What's it called where they make it? And.
C
Yeah, brewery.
B
Brewery. No, but distillery. You know, they say, oh, like this tequila pairs really well with this. Or, you know, I'm only.
C
No, it's not, though.
B
Or like, this wine pair. Oh, yeah, know, man, shut the up. You know, like that. But whiskey pairs so good with.
A
With mango for some reason. Like, mango is about to be my chaser of choice, bro.
B
What the. You know what they say about mangoes, right?
A
No, what do they say?
B
2016 studies from UC Davis pulled that mangoes make your pee pee bigger.
C
What?
A
Let me stop eating good. I. I don't like mangoes anymore. Well, that was my last mango ever.
C
That's crazy.
B
Okay. You know how I said pee pee, like in the Philippines? What's, like, the nickname for.
A
That's so funny because the street name for vag is Peep it for vag. Yeah. In my. In Ilocano. In. In. In. What are you asking me?
B
You're faded.
A
You didn't Even ask. You didn't even finish your sentence. I don't know what you asked.
C
How do you say PP in that's like slang.
A
Like. No.
C
Yeah, like what's slang for penis?
A
Huh?
B
Why do you want to know?
C
That was your question.
A
What the right? I'm like you.
C
That was your question, Was it not? Rewind the tape, bro. Was it though?
A
It was okay.
C
Was it though?
B
That was kind of weird, bro.
C
That was your question, bro.
B
Why does my seed look like that? Yeah, it looks like there was an oyster in here.
A
It's on a. Yeah, it's like a Zenpot exceed.
B
Holy. There's a mess.
C
That was fun.
B
I'm not cleaning it.
A
No, literally behind you.
B
It's okay. It happens. He always pushes me like that.
C
I got a manhandle to you sometimes, my boy.
B
Okay.
A
Let'S center ourselves.
B
Yeah, I. I feel like we were kind of like we were hungry. All of us, huh?
A
Yeah.
B
That was a really hungry moment.
C
We were eating. We were.
A
We ate. We ate. Yeah.
B
Yeah. So when you see that back just kind of like leave us eating but like kind of cut it fast, you know. But like cuz it was. We were still talking. There's a point where you guys weren't even talking. Nothing but three long peep. He's talking. We eating a mango.
A
No. I hate it here. Seas like swallowing. I'm like girl. Yeah, keep. No. He goes, why you swallow like that?
B
I'm a smeg.
A
Exactly.
B
I'm a schmeg.
A
Do you guys have secret talents?
C
Define secret talents.
A
Like. Okay, I could fart rid my throat.
C
Okay, go for it.
A
Would you guys like to hear?
B
Yes, we would love to.
A
Right? Right.
C
There's no way. Okay.
B
35 years living.
C
I didn't know that was even humanly possible.
A
Quiet on set. I would do it again, man. Right.
C
I'm so glad you guys have headphones on cuz that's the only way you would appreciate what just happened right now.
A
That was a wet one. Whoa.
C
Can we all try?
A
Yeah, I teach us. Okay, so you basically swallow air, but while you're swallowing the air, you're going to contract your thro.
B
Like swallow air.
A
Swallow air. No, like so breathe. Swallow air. Like.
C
Okay, okay. No, no, I got it.
A
Okay. Yeah. And then. But contract your throat.
C
What do you mean contract? How do you do that?
A
Like like. Yes, I think I got it.
B
Yeah.
A
Okay, okay, okay. Throat farter. Okay. Kinda what that throat do. It farts.
B
Okay. I want to give a drippy wet one.
C
Go for it.
A
It.
C
Oh. Oh my God. Force that one.
A
That was a constipated one.
B
Wait, let me. Hold on one second. I. I up.
A
I hate this headphone right now.
B
It's not wet.
C
It's super dry.
A
It's a dry one. Yeah.
B
Sorry, I couldn't do it.
C
Yeah, Bretman is, like, pristine. It's, like, clean. It's like.
A
Right. So do you guys have any secret talents?
C
Bro, that is. That's classy, bro.
A
Class. Your secret.
B
Even if I did. Doesn't compare. Even if I did. Not worth saying it.
A
You.
C
You won't.
A
Thank you.
B
No, I don't.
C
I don't think I did.
B
Is that the first time you ever done that on camera? You've done it, I've done it, but.
A
Like, I feel like it won't. It's never been clipped like this because I know Saul clipped that.
C
Oh, he gonna clip that immediately. That's the first clip going up next.
A
Week on La Platica. Yeah, no, I want that in the intro. You know how you guys have, like, the intro. Please add it in there. I know. It's not too late.
C
No.
B
No. We had one more game that we should pull up.
A
Hit me.
D
I called it Fake Primos, and basically it's words that are spelled or sound the same but have completely different meanings. And I only have, like, five.
A
Oh, wow. We really, like.
B
Thank you, Jess. This is amazing.
A
Oh, puto is a dessert for us.
B
What is it?
A
It's a rice cake, puto.
B
It's a rice cake puto.
A
Yeah, it's a rice cake with cheese on top.
C
Do you know what puto is in Spanish?
A
Yes, it's a boy, right? It could.
B
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
A
Yeah. That's.
B
Well, yeah, when I say puto, because I feel like a lot like the actual, like, up way to say is, like, puto is like someone gay.
A
Yeah.
B
Yeah.
A
Really?
B
Yeah, yeah.
C
It's like saying. But, like, more. It's more derogatory. It's like saying. It's like saying, like.
B
I would never say, like that because that's up.
A
Yeah, it's very.
C
It's.
B
It's very, like, derogatory.
A
Is that how you say, please derogatize me? I'm as. As.
B
Like, if I say it to somebody, like, that's up.
A
Yeah.
C
You're trying to really insult them.
B
But, like, I. When it's like, boy, that's easy to say with, like, the homies. Like. Like, if you don't eat, like, hot salsa or something like that. You know what I mean? Which is fine. Maybe some people get offended, but, like, like between homies, like, nobody really gets.
C
I agree, I agree.
A
Yeah. Cuz puto makes me hungry. But it offends y', all. I guess.
B
It doesn't offend me at all.
C
It doesn't offend me, but it can to other people.
B
Yeah. And it's also like a way of express expressing yourself. So for example, if someone says. Or like, if he hands me a mop and he says, hey, mop the whole warehouse. Right.
C
I'm like.
B
I can say like that.
A
That. Oh, okay.
B
And then basically me saying like the. Get the out.
A
Yeah, like this. Yeah, like this.
B
Yeah. That's loco.
A
Okay. I love that.
B
Yeah.
A
I've never said it.
B
I think. I think Mexicans say it more in an expressive way than what it actually means. Yeah. So I can be like you.
A
Do you guys have that dessert, though? What do you guys call it? No. You don't?
C
No, we don't. We don't.
B
Well, I don't know. I don't know.
C
Bon Bon.
A
It's like a rice cake with cheese on top.
D
I don't think we do so much dessert. Like, made out of rice flour.
A
Yeah.
D
Really? That's not really. Because that's what this is, right?
A
Yes, it's rice flour.
B
Yeah, that's like a. Just.
C
So that's rice at the bottom. That's all rice.
B
It's just a mini muffin.
A
It's just like a. Literally like a rice muffin with cheese.
B
On top with American cheese on top. That looks like American cheese.
A
It is American cheese, actually.
B
Oh, that's kind of fire.
A
It adds just a little bit savory. Because the rice cake doesn't taste like any anything. Is that a taro? No, it's just food coloring.
C
Oh, with the same cheese on top, just.
A
Yeah, man.
B
You a little taro puto.
D
I love Panda.
C
I'll take it.
A
How you know about that girl?
D
Cultured.
A
What do you mean? I love that. Is your girlfriend Filipino? Okay.
D
But there is a new Filipino bakery in Long Beach.
A
What's it called?
D
Satin and Wolves.
A
San and Wolves.
D
And they have like all from scratch Filipino. They have everything you can imagine.
B
Pull up.
D
We'll show you around.
A
Good. Oh, my God, that sounds so good. Okay.
B
Is this Grinch puto?
A
No, this is pandan. Sometimes they will flavor it, but even the flavoring is very muted.
B
I. I feel this alcohol in my system, you know? I'll be real with you.
A
Is it the first time the alcohol hit your system in 2026?
C
Yeah. No, no.
B
Kind of. It just feels different. Cuz I'm on the podcast.
A
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Kind of. Because you did the sweet tea ad. Yeah.
B
Yeah. You definitely the first time in this podcast room. This is what I feel this year.
A
This year?
B
Yeah. Oh, you are the first guest of the year, period.
A
As I should.
B
As you should.
A
What episode is this? 204.
C
No, we're deeper.
B
Way deeper.
D
33, I think.
B
2 33.
A
Oh, 233. Yeah.
B
Is that an angel number for you?
A
Oh, no. Because I was watching your last pod and I think you guys clapped it at 2:24 or something like that.
C
What episode are you guys on for your pod?
B
We.
A
We reset every season, so right now we're on season two, episode 23.
C
Oh, okay.
A
But technically it would be like 75 when you guys. It goes by, huh?
C
The season. How long do you guys take off?
A
A month. How long do you guys take off? Never.
B
Never.
A
You're on the whole year.
B
Yeah.
C
Every week.
B
It's a. We only do it once a week.
A
What do y' all even talk about at that point?
C
There's. There's moments where we. I think we do feel it. We're like, where do we go from here? But we get there.
A
Do you guys ever film multiple in one day? I think no.
C
We. That's our rule. We don't do more than one.
B
We have.
C
But we. It's not.
B
But we try not to. It's a lot of energy.
A
It is. I'm like, I'm still talking.
B
The second one is not the same.
A
Exactly.
B
Well, I feel like it's not.
A
Not.
B
Yeah, next word.
A
Bobo.
B
I like this word.
A
You guys go first. What do you guys think?
C
Like, dummy.
A
Okay, same for us. Bobo.
B
Yeah, well, bobo for me is kind of like, like, like someone who stares a lot, right? Like, no, Bobo.
A
Or like, like, like not a thought in that.
B
Yeah, like, I personally am a bobo. Cuz like, Karen is always like, dude, stop staring at everybody. Like, because I have a very. Like, like, I like to be at restaurants. Just stare at people.
A
You're just people watching.
B
I'm people watching.
C
I love people watching.
A
Me too.
B
I love people watching. Or like, if something's going on, I'm just like this, right? But like, I'm being a bobo.
A
Yeah, Bobo is like, actually like, stupid ass. Like.
B
Oh, really? Really?
A
Yeah.
B
In the Philippines.
A
Dumb. Yeah. Bobo.
B
Oh, I. Oh, my God. Like, I'm really feeling like I can.
A
Go to the Philippines and really, I'm telling you. You would, bro.
B
Let's go to Phil. Philippines. Like, why the are we not there.
A
You guys, especially you you be a celebrity like that, you look like us. That's why. I mean, you're darker and brown and, like, you know, shorter. So they would just be, oh, you're Filipino. But he's like, oh, you're like Superman.
B
Okay, let's go and document it.
C
Let's do it.
B
Yeah.
C
Here's what we're going to do. Hawaii. Straight to the Philippines.
B
Damn, that would kind of be crazy.
C
Why not?
B
I don't see why not.
C
We're gonna die one day. We might as well.
B
Yeah, I'm down.
A
Oh, you know what I was looking at the other day?
B
What?
A
Oh, guys, please. Oh, my God. It's the drinks. But. So I was trying to see. Because I've known Josh for so long, and I was like, oh, my God. Josh has not been posting a shirtless pic in a while. Oh, I went all the way down to see when the last time Josh. Josh posted a shirtless pic. It's been a minute, and I know exactly the day. August 27, 2022.
C
There's only 22.
B
There's no way you got that right.
C
There's no way.
B
If you got that right.
C
Is that on the money? Is that on the money?
A
If it's not 2022, it's 2023, but go on. Josh's.
C
Is that on the money?
A
The last time you will fully shirtless.
B
Honestly, bro, if you got that right, I am not just impressed. I am fascinated by you.
A
Oh. If I get this right, dare me to. Do you guys owe me money? It was August 22nd. Oh, my God.
C
I haven't done a shirtless pick in a minute.
A
I'm telling you. Damn.
B
You went all the way down like that.
A
Oh. Because I. Because I really thought you were going to test me.
C
Is that. Is that considered shirtless or.
A
No, no, I meant full body, because. Okay, keep going. You're almost there. That one.
C
That one. Damn. I'm shredded. Right?
B
August 27, 2022. What the man, Right? You're incredible, dude.
A
On the money.
B
You're incredible. You're absolutely incredible.
A
Do you still look like that, Josh?
C
No, no, no, no, no.
A
Would you like to show that?
C
I'm about. I'm about. I'm about £10 away from that.
A
Okay.
B
Period.
C
You know what I mean?
B
Where was that?
C
At Lake Havasu.
B
Yeah, you're one of those guys.
A
Okay, so when are you soft launching a shirtless.
B
We've talked about this before.
A
Yeah, the last pod.
B
Okay.
A
Okay.
C
Fire me up.
B
Me and him both and the rest of our friends were super dialed in. And dialed the in right now. You can dial 9.1:1 and we gonna pick up.
A
Yeah. Because I feel like the next episode. I'll watch. You guys have to be sure my.
C
My physique is getting there. I'm.
B
I'm getting by Coachella. Are you gonna go Coachella?
A
Maybe. Yes. That's why I'm training so hard. Okay.
B
Okay. Bye, Coachella. Josh. I know. And myself will be shirtless. I'll be shirtless and proud of it.
C
Yeah. Yeah.
B
Period.
A
And I will be.
B
And you, too.
A
Waiting. Come.
B
Come over to the house, too, just for, like.
A
And I will, cuz. Salud will have a house. I need to come. I watched everybody's vlog. Vlog at the Salud house. I'm like, oh, my gosh. Yeah, come.
C
I. Okay.
A
And I will come. How can I come when I already came?
B
You know what? God, that makes so much sense.
C
You know what? It all made sense. It all clicked. Picked.
B
Yeah, no, for sure.
C
It all came in that moment.
B
We'll set it up. We'll pick you up in a sprinter.
A
Damn. You really be sponsoring Coachella like that. You got it like that. That's crazy. Josh.
B
He's a Philippine celebrity, bro.
A
Literally.
C
Don't drop me off there.
B
No, but, like, one thing that I just noticed about this, like, what I'm taking from today is, like, not only that he is a fantastic human being, but I might fall in love with the Philippines.
A
You might? I really.
B
I'm really. I really want to go, bro. I feel like it's calling my name right now.
C
I want to go to Hawaii, and I want to go to the Philippines immediately.
B
Yeah. Hey, you want to. Something funny?
A
Hit me. I better laugh.
B
I shouldn't. I shouldn't say that.
C
Yeah, that was a big statement.
B
Go.
C
Yeah, go for it.
B
He said he wasn't gonna, like, drink on this podcast.
A
Really? So. Yeah, it was gonna be me.
C
That's not.
A
Me and you.
B
Yeah, me and you.
A
I'm not too drunk. Like, honestly.
B
But it feels good, right?
A
I feel good. I feel light.
B
I almost feel high. Whoa, dude.
A
Right? I was gonna say that, but I didn't know if y'. All.
C
Have you ever gotten high on a podcast? Like, have you smoked? And then, like.
A
Yes, it's my favorite. Oh. I've only done it once, but it was my favorite episodes ever.
B
Really?
A
Yeah. I just don't.
B
Like, I didn't know you smoked. I would have smoked with you. Can I say. Yeah, let's just bleep it out.
C
Just don't say it too loud.
B
But like, I would have been.
A
What else is there to smoke? They're gonna be like, bitch, what are they smoking?
B
Well, there's a lot of things you can smoke, right?
A
Honestly, no, I love weed. I. That's the only really thing that I do every day.
C
You smoke every day, but you wait, are you awake and bake?
A
Oh, no, not awaken, bake. I'm like a cap of the night.
C
You know what I want to try to do? And I've never done this because Arnold used to do this. He used to smoke weed and then go to the gym. Let's get a pump.
B
Fuck.
A
No, no, I've not done it.
B
You can't get too hot high, though.
C
Got it. You got to be like just medium.
B
You can feel everything. I mean, you're pumping, bro.
C
I'm going be honest.
A
And you have to do like getting high.
C
I get two in my head.
B
I, I, I know.
C
Me too.
A
Yeah. It's either for you or not. I love. I smoke like a rapper. Girl like you would think I'm Snoop Brett.
B
Oh, so you're getting like, you're getting like toasty high.
A
You like high high? Yeah. And I do like bong rips instead of like a joint. Like Beta joint.
B
So you're big.
C
Big rips.
A
Big, big red.
B
You're like 420 degrees Fahrenheit.
A
Air fryer. Yes. My, my. I have a science studio in my house because I used to do Breadman the science. And it. You would think, like, I'm a scientist with all my bongs that I have. Because they all look like beakers.
B
Wow.
A
It looks like I'd just be experimenting. But I have beakers. Yeah.
B
DD.
A
See? Yeah, exactly. Very much that.
C
That I would be so scared to take a bong rip. I'd be terrified.
B
Dude, you.
A
Have you ever.
C
Yeah, like, once.
B
And I was.
C
I hated it, bro.
A
I love a gabong rip.
B
I rather. You're a bobo. Yeah, I rather drink Philippines wise.
C
No, I rather drink.
A
Speaking of, we didn't even finish.
C
Finish. Bubba.
A
Pa. Pa.
B
Yeah, it could be palaverga. What's pala? Four. Four.
A
Like no, four for you.
B
For you.
D
Like, pala is like a shovel. No.
B
Oh, my gosh.
A
Sorry. I'm reading it in my other dialect. Pala is shovel for us too.
C
Oh, it is?
B
Really?
A
Yeah.
B
What the. Everything is the same then just spelled slightly different.
C
Leche.
D
I don't. Then I, I don't know. I don't doubt myself.
B
Leches for sure. Milk not for you guys.
A
Leche is more like condensed Milk. Like, thicker milk.
B
So what's regular milk?
A
Do you guys have leche flan?
B
Yeah, they have leche flan too. We have flan too. Wow. I'm booking my flight. What flies out there? The nicest flight.
A
It's 16 hours, girl. It's a long flight.
B
Does Delta fly there? There?
A
No, I've only flying Hawaiian or Philippine, so.
B
Philippine Airlines?
A
Yeah, Philippine, I think it's so far for y'. All. If you guys did. If you guys were actually serious about it, I feel like you guys should go Hawaii then. Philippines.
C
That's what I said. That's what I'm saying. Hawaii, Philippines. I'm telling you.
A
Because it'll break it down like, really nice.
C
Yeah, yeah. We. We chill in Hawaii for like four days. Is that good enough?
A
Yes, I think they come with the boom.
C
Philippines.
A
Philippines.
C
Wow.
B
You really go to the Philippines as. Yeah, literally.
A
I would do it for them too. I don't even know them like that.
C
Yeah, we gotta do that.
A
I would go home for anybody.
B
I'm like super down, bro. Honestly, that might. That might be the summer vacation.
A
You should take all of us.
B
Dude. That actually might be a really good idea. Like, let's just all go and then.
A
We just vlog, period. Yeah.
D
And eat.
B
Like. We'll just do it like a. Like a. Like a special three week thing of just vlogging with Bretman. Rock.
A
I would do that because this is giving part two episodes. We have to this point.
C
We have to.
D
Let us know in the comments if that's something you guys.
A
Yeah, let us know. It'll be in the salute tab for all the promos.
B
I did this 100 dead ass, bro. What are you gonna do about that?
C
I'm not fighting you guys.
B
I'm not.
A
Not.
C
I'm not arguing. Yes.
B
Pay him by kisses.
C
Done and done. Done and done. Right?
A
But it was this. The energy and focus one.
C
Yeah.
A
My fave.
C
Yeah. That one.
B
His. Wow. What a time. Next. Next.
A
Next. Word Jam.
C
Jess, you got a lot.
B
Everything.
A
What is that for you guys?
C
Everything.
B
Everything.
A
Like full out. That's like everything. Give it your all.
C
Contolo. Yeah, like we say contolo with everything.
A
Like. Yeah, give it your all and give it everything. Like. Okay, we're about to practice dancing. Give it.
B
How did you come up with these? Knowing that, like in the. In. What's the. Sorry. The language again? Tagalog. It would be the same. How would you know?
C
No, this wasn't intended to be the same. This was supposed to be different.
D
No, this one was supposed to Be like, same word but different meanings.
C
Yeah, but it happens to be the same meaning.
A
Some of them.
D
Yeah, some of them are really similar. Yeah. And I. I mean, I've known since I was a kid. My dad always likes to learn similarities with other languages. So, for example, my last name is Rub Alcaba.
B
Who?
D
My dad. My last name is Rub Alcaba. And there is a desert in the Middle east called Rub Alcali. And so we think that that's where I came from, which makes sense, because then the Moors colonized or, like, we're a part of Spanish in Spain, and then we would recolonize and all of that stuff.
B
So you're Middle Eastern, basically.
C
Spanish.
D
Spanish is. It has Middle Eastern roots, like Asukar.
C
Yeah.
D
Is a word. It's a Middle Eastern word that I think is also a Filipino word.
A
Yes.
D
But it stemmed from Middle Eastern culture, like Arabic, I think it is. So there's, like, similar words in Arabic as well. And my dad is always, like, all about that, so I knew that there was a lot of similarities in between, like, Spanish and Tagalog.
C
Have you ever done the 23andMe?
D
No.
C
Do you feel like you have a lot of, like, Spaniard in you?
D
No, know, I feel like I'm. I'm probably more indigenous than I am. Anything else?
A
I was gonna say you look indigenous.
B
Shut the up.
A
Native.
C
Six, two.
B
Okay, first of all, I agree with you.
A
Yeah.
B
The fact that you just said that and make yourself feel Spaniard.
A
I didn't. Wait, what are you.
C
I'm full Mexican. Both of my parents. Yeah.
A
Period.
C
But.
B
But he wants to be Spaniard.
C
I just think that. I think I'm not.
B
What the.
A
You want to be white soap?
B
Oh, my God. You should have never said that, man. You're pissing me off, dude. Honestly, I'm indigenous as. Bro. Bro.
C
I'm not. It's not my choice. It's just I am.
B
Oh, he makes it worse.
A
Like, well, if it makes you feel better, I'm free. I can be colonized. Yeah, you can colonize me.
B
Oh, you're Spaniard.
C
No, I'm not saying. I think I am. I would. I would have guessed that I am him.
B
Got it, dude.
A
Yeah. You are very tall.
C
Yeah, dude, like, there's just no way.
B
Okay, bro.
C
I.
A
Do you guys use the word misto, miss? Yeah, he's very mestizo.
C
No, mestizo, bro. Mystizo as.
A
Yeah. And you're very Moreno.
C
Yes.
A
Super is also word for you guys.
B
Yeah, yeah, it's me. Exactly. You know it's crazy, though. Like, a lot of people, like, it's just a very confusing word because, like, Moreno, for me, growing up was somebody to. Just a little darker than you. Yeah, right.
A
That's. For us.
B
That's literally what it means. Yeah, but, like, Moreno also means, like. Like, a black person, which is, like. It's very confusing. But I'm Moreno, too.
C
Yeah.
B
I like being Moreno.
C
I love, bro. I wish I was your skin tone.
B
No, you don't.
C
No, I don't.
A
Can you get to.
B
You just said you want to be sp.
C
I didn't say I want to be sm. I said I. I believe I am. I don't know. I feel like.
A
Wait, no offense, but can you t, man?
C
I mean. Yeah, I get, like.
A
I get, like, all of you.
C
I get, like, all of you.
A
Shut the. You get. All right.
C
I'm like, you know, I get all of you. I get. All of you get red, like a. Yeah, a lot. Yeah.
A
A lot of people think I'm halfway olive, girl. Shut up.
B
Oh, my God.
A
Olivy.
B
Yeah. Imagine saying I get olivey.
A
Oh, my. Ew. Give her the l' Oreal ad right now.
B
Clip this for the first video. I get a little olivey?
C
No, I get a nice olive tan.
B
Bremen, can he save himself at this olive. I want. As his good friend, I want him to save himself. Can he?
A
I think he was already far too deep thinking he was Spanish. Honestly, lady.
B
Bro, you're not Spanish, bro. Girl, if anything, you're closer to a turtle than a Spaniard.
A
Turtle is crazy.
C
I don't know, man.
A
I don't know, man.
B
It's somewhere out there. Oh, man. Next question. Oh, that was it.
A
That was it.
B
Damn. My Spaniard buddy. What a great episode.
C
Bremen, this was incredible. This is like.
A
Thank you so much for having me.
C
Insane episode.
A
Sacred Latino space.
C
Thank you for having me.
B
We drank. We had mangoes. We laughed.
A
Yeah. Fought.
C
We fought. We beefed it a little bit.
B
We beefed it a little bit.
A
Yeah.
C
Yeah.
B
Honestly, I just want to say thank you for being here. I know you have a crazy busy schedule, and for you to just sit down and have a drink with us, that means.
A
I needed it. I really needed it.
B
Did you need it? I hope that we made you feel comfortable for your first straight podcast.
A
I thank you.
B
Oh, yeah. Literally.
C
Yeah.
A
I feel less uncomfortable around straight people. Wait, also, before I leave, I have a request actually.
B
Yes, sir.
C
Okay.
A
Can you guys teach me how to dap up that?
C
Oh, yeah. Wait, like. Like a nasty one?
B
Yeah, like a nasty one.
A
I just need to learn, like, a nasty girl. I don't know if it's just the gay culture, but every time a man.
B
You can't do it.
A
Tries that, it don't hit, I literally go, can I.
C
So wait, you. You freak out. I need to see your form.
B
Like, I don't. Are you talking about the actual sound of the dap or just to dab?
A
Dab. Just.
C
Oh, just in general.
A
Every time a man, like, is like this, I'm like, okay, is it. Is he going for, like, the. Like this or the hug?
C
What do you like? What greeting do you like from a straight man?
A
A lot of the straight men that I hang out with are usually like, my girls. Mans. Got it.
C
So they hug you.
A
So they. I feel like a lot of my girlfriends, you would usually tell them, like, oh, give him him. Give him like, a honey. Honey means, like, the. Like, how you would greet a girl, basically. Like, it's more of, like, a hug form.
C
How did we greet you when we first saw you outside?
A
It was a hug I went in for.
C
Okay, you initiated. You set the tone.
A
Don't dap me up.
B
I would never dap you up, by.
A
The way, but can y' all teach me how to dap?
C
Yeah. Well, yeah, but you gotta commit.
A
Can you guys show me an example? Yeah, I got you guys with that.
C
But, yeah, me and se right now.
A
Yeah.
B
Should we put the mics close to the.
C
No, they don't hear it.
D
Skinny.
A
Oh, there's a.
B
Well, that's the thing. There's, like, levels to adapt.
A
Yeah.
B
It's like. Yeah, we can, like, dap up and everything is cool. We'll go on with our lives. But if you hit a dap and it claps like a pop.
A
Yeah. That's how you know you're listening.
C
When you dab up, you gotta hit them with this.
A
You, you, you. Huh?
C
What the.
A
Don't.
C
It's a Spaniard in me. My bad.
B
It is. If you can hit like a. It's almost like a. Like a really cuppy pop.
A
Yeah.
B
Yeah. When you do that, you guys know, like, immediately, like, both of you guys are down.
A
You're homies.
B
Yeah.
C
Point the mics.
A
Okay. I better hear a clap.
D
They're gonna give the weakest.
C
All right, ready?
B
Ew.
D
Ah.
B
All right, we got it.
A
We got it.
B
We got it. We got it now. We got it. We're trying too hard.
A
It's the ring. It's the ring.
B
Trying too hard. We're trying too hard. You're going too hard.
C
Don't you are.
B
Let it just sit. I'm just trying to learn better. We're getting better.
A
Oh, that was it.
B
We're getting better.
A
Oh, that was a juicy one.
B
Okay, so I. I personally think, like, a regular dab should just be like. Like this. Like this. Like, just this and this. And that's it. Keep it there, I think. So you want to add more to it? What is this? Fucking hopscotch?
A
This.
C
Get up, get up.
A
I'm.
C
I'm like this, and I go here.
B
Okay, okay, I agree with that. I agree with that.
A
I just feel like, pick one, like, dab me up or hug me. Like.
B
Okay, I stand corrected. It's this, but yeah.
A
Okay, wait, hold on. So how do you know if the person is going in for the hug or just a dab?
C
You initiate the dab first, and then I let go. I set the tone. Jesus Christ.
B
No, because. Because when you go for this one and this.
C
No, I don't do that.
B
You can feel it go up. You can feel it immediately.
C
Bro, nobody does that anymore. Nobody's doing this anymore. Nah, nobody's doing that.
B
Okay, first of all, if you're a guy and you do the dab.
C
I'm not doing that.
A
You're whack.
C
You're whack, bro.
A
You're immediately whack. Yeah, you're a puto. And hang it up.
B
Straight up right now. Hang it up. Up like this whole. With the app, you can even, like, stitch this and. And say that I'm dumb. It's the truth. Don't go like that.
C
I'm not doing that, bro.
B
For the depth, you can feel him pulling you.
A
Okay.
C
That's what I pull.
B
Somebody is always gonna, like, initiate. Initiate the pool. And you'll feel it right away. But the thing is, if you're a dap master, you have to be the. The full. Initiating everything. You take control of the dab.
A
Yeah. So have you guys ever dap up somebody go. Went in for the hug, but they didn't know you're going for the hug, so they, like, pulled out.
B
Sure. Yeah.
A
No.
C
And you know what I do? I bring them in closer.
B
Bring them in. You're the dad master.
C
Yeah.
A
You control that just made me.
C
You control it.
B
What? Okay.
A
All right, teach me.
B
Okay, okay, look.
A
Yeah.
B
It'S like this.
A
Oh, it's like this. And then.
B
Oh, and then if I'm that master, you can feel me go like this.
A
Okay. Okay.
B
You can feel me. And then immediately we're like this.
A
Am I keeping the hand?
B
No, that's it?
A
Okay.
C
No, let go of the hand.
A
Okay. Okay, try. Let's try this.
B
Let go of that hand.
C
I let go of that.
B
I do this.
C
So I. I'm like, I'm here and I'm here. I'm here.
A
That was tender. Hold on.
C
So I let go of this. There's no need to hold on to that one.
B
Personally, I feel like.
A
I don't know.
C
I don't. I let go and I just.
A
Fucking brace.
B
You don't have to hold off for that long.
A
I, I, I. Okay.
B
And then the other one is just this and then.
A
And that's it.
C
I don't like that one, though.
B
Me neither. I'm not saying I'm a fan.
A
You guys are the hug hugger one.
C
Yeah, I'm a hugger.
B
I'm a hugger, too.
C
Yeah.
B
Because then you get the manliness of it. Yeah. And then the tenderness, the softness.
C
Yes.
B
Yeah. I'm a man, but, like, I'm soft, too.
C
Yeah. But when I do it, I kind of pull them in too, so they feel my strength. You know what I mean?
B
No. You just like holding vatos.
A
I learned so much. Honestly, I feel like I have less anxiety now when.
B
Why does. Did it used to give you anxiety?
A
Girl, I would just sometimes because I just didn't know how to do it, and I would just stare at their hand or like. Like, it's just, like, not a natural thing for me. So I literally feel like I got to wash my hands. Not with you guys, but, like, I don't know. It's just, like, not a natural thing for me. And I never know which one they.
C
Want, who's going to commit to what. Like, what. What are we doing? What are we doing?
A
Yeah. So I don't want to be, like, going in for the hug and they think I'm a puto, you know?
B
I know what you mean. But if you. If you really want to, like, get rid of that whole, like, scenario, you be the.
C
Yeah, you. You take control. Bremen, you take control. You control that.
B
Hold on and bring him in, period. And then, honestly, it'll turn a straight man on.
A
Oh, girl, I'm dabbing up everybody. I am.
B
It really. It really would.
A
And it's dap, not dab. Right?
C
Dab is weed. Dap is handshake. Look it up now.
B
We don't have to look that up. Yeah. Say whatever you want, Mr. Bretman. Rock. It was the baddest. It was such a pleasure having you. I. You fascinated me as a human being. You checked every box off the list for me. I've known you for. For a very long time already. I'm glad that we've had this conversation. We got deep today with Josh, myself, Jess, Saul. We really enjoyed this episode. And not only us, but you did this low key for everybody watching.
C
Yeah. This is for the people, for everybody watching.
B
This was only possible because of you guys, actually. So literally. Literally. Thank you, guys. We really appreciate you guys spamming Bretman rock and attacking him, and that's it. I'm super grateful to have you. Thank you. You're an amazing, beautiful person, and I can't wait to get to know you more in the future, period.
A
Because, you know they're going to want a part two.
C
We're doing a part two.
A
That's happening, but in Hawaii. In the little.
C
In the little.
A
In my little dome. Yeah, exactly.
C
We're gonna make that come to life.
B
Wouldn't that be something that'll be fun? Yeah. I'm done.
A
You guys are invited.
B
Thank you so much.
C
Yeah.
B
Mr. Josh Leva, do you have anything else?
C
I do, I do, I do. I'm very. And I'm very impressed by you, Bretman. I feel like I've known you for such a long time just because I've.
A
Are you impressed? Because I knew the last time you were shirtless on your face.
B
That's some Criss Angel.
C
Yeah. But I've been so aware of you and I've. And I've admired you from afar, and I'm sad that we never got to know each other prior to this, but I feel having this moment supposed to.
A
Be now, I feel like it was.
C
Supposed to be now, and I feel like I've known you for a long time, and I, like, feel, feel. I'm. I'm. I'm impressed by your authenticity that you are able to portray online and then create in real life. I just think that just like a. A huge testament to your character. You're a beautiful soul. I. I'm. I'm in love with your hair. Thank you for Putting me on, Dr.
B
Crew.
A
Thank you for not too much promo girl. Just because I promote a salute, you don't gotta do that for me.
C
No, you were. You were a delight, man. You were honestly a pleasure to. To. To have on, to talk to and. And be around. So thank you for. For your energy and your soul and your spirit.
A
Thank you so much for having me. I really mean that. Thank you so much for having me in your Latino space.
B
For sure.
C
Do you have anything to plug? What do you want to do? Like, what's up?
B
What's up?
C
Like, how do we. How do we. How do we.
A
I don't really have anything going on, but come watch me cut up fruits on Tick Tock. Buy my drink if you're ever in Hawaii and.
B
Oh, my God.
A
Wow.
C
Bremen. Rock forever, baby. There it is.
B
What an episode. Like you said, Breadman Rock forever, ladies and gentlemen. Breadman Rock.
C
There it is, y'.
B
All. Exactly, exactly.
This lively episode features iconic internet personality Bretman Rock joining Sebas and Josh for a freewheeling, vulnerable, and hilarious “plática.” Bretman, celebrated for blending humor and authenticity, takes over the studio with stories from his Filipino upbringing, thoughts on fame and identity, cross-cultural connections, and trademark wit. The episode’s purpose: not just an interview, but a deep dive into what makes Bretman unique—touching on representation, masculinity, friendship, self-care, and gratitude, all filtered through the hosts’ authentic, emotionally mature lens.
On Shared Cultural Roots:
“I’m Filip Primo, girl… We have the same colonizer, like, for real.” (Bretman, [07:44])
On Fame at School:
“I came home with a dress and the crown, and not a single bitch asked me how my trip to the Philippines was. Nobody cared. And I loved it.” (Bretman, [22:42])
On “Man” Baddie Labels:
“Just because you put man in front of something, it does not make it more straight or man… Like man bun? Bitch, it’s a bun.” (Bretman, [15:51])
On Relationship Self-Knowledge:
“I can’t help someone figure out who they are… I’ve always known who I was.” (Bretman, [45:12])
On Being Alone:
“Just because I like being alone but not lonely…” (Bretman, [47:14])
On Life in Hawaii:
“Doesn’t Hawaii feel like not America? … It’s its own culture.” (Bretman, [54:23])
On Chickens:
“I order the eggs on eBay…because I want chickens that are, you know, pretty like me.” (Bretman, [62:33])
On Secret Talents:
“I could fart with my throat. Would you guys like to hear?” (Bretman, [111:17])
On Crossover Appeal:
“I love, like, regular, real people…I don’t want to date a famous person.” (Bretman, [87:14])
On Legacy:
“America is so…They do not deserve my dead body. I don't want to be buried here. I'm sorry.” (Bretman, [87:57])
Playful, candid, chaotic, and refreshingly honest. Bretman’s blend of self-assurance and self-deprecation finds perfect reflection in the hosts’ emotionally intelligent, affectionate style. The episode is a celebration of culture, self-acceptance, and chosen family.
“Bretman Rock Takes Over La Plática” is as nourishing as the shared mangoes: cross-cultural, generational, multifaceted, and full of joy. With laughter and deep moments in equal measure, this episode is essential listening—or reading—for anyone invested in new forms of community, hybrid identity, and the future of Latino/Filipino internet culture.