Cholo Elves Take Over the Pod (and Expose the North Pole!) 🎅🏻🎄🎁

Summary

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LA PLATICA — “Cholo Elves Take Over the Pod (and Expose the North Pole!)”

Release Date: December 8, 2025
Hosts: Sebastian Robles (as “Alfredo”), Josh Leyva (as “Elfis Presley”)
Special Guest/Producer: Jess

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Episode Overview

This holiday edition of La Plática features regular hosts Sebastian Robles and Josh Leyva in full Cholo Elf character, taking over the pod as “Alfredo” and “Elfis Presley.” The duo ditches their usual identities—claiming to have exiled the “real” hosts—to deliver a comedic, improvisational deep dive into elf life after escaping Santa’s North Pole, their LA adventures, and a series of wild truths about Christmas culture. Employing classic cholo lingo and satire, they blend humor, holiday parody, and cultural references, poking fun at machismo, Elf stereotypes, and the realities of being Latino in LA.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Cholo Elf Takeover and Backstory

• Premise: Alfredo and Elfis, two “cholo elves,” claim to have fled the oppressive North Pole and hijacked the top-rated La Plática podcast for themselves.
• Origin Story:
  • Tired of “being misunderstood” and stuck in an endless cycle of toy-making for a “lactose-offering Santa” (06:00), they crave respect and a new life.
  • “One day we joined together as elves, right? We put our ears together. Yeah. And our bandanas on.” – Elfis Presley (06:32)
  • “It's 2025. Have you not heard of a PlayStation? Done with that.” – Alfredo (07:05)
• Santa’s Leadership: Both express resentment over Santa’s lack of advancement opportunities and his indifference.
  • “I was assistant manager, fool. On the little gold card section… but that ain't enough.” – Elfis (06:00)
  • “I walked up to Santa Claus just to, like, you know, maybe vent a little bit… He said, ‘Too bad, so sad, fool.’” – Elfis (09:02)

2. Assimilation in LA & Fitting in

• Culture Shock: The elves are amazed to find LA full of people dressing like them (“Now we’re not misunderstood like that, per.” – Alfredo, 09:35) but still feel out of place.
• Tattoos and Outfits:
  • Run-through of their signature cholo-elf hybrid fits: dickies, bandanas, “snowflake” Cortezes, and Christmas tattoos.
  • Alfredo: “I got a candy cane right here to represent the North Pole, obviously, because that’s where I was born.” (21:13)
• Tattoos as Storytelling:
  • Elfis: “The mistletoe [tattoo] because I stay kissing myself, ‘cause I'm always under the mistletoe.” (20:15)
  • Alfredo sports a calavera with a Santa hat: “Santa’s dead to me.” (22:00)

3. Brutal Revelations about North Pole and Santa

• Life in the Workshop:
  • Overworked, underappreciated, and freakish for being too tall (“They say out of a million elves, two...are like tall and sh*t,” 13:04).
  • “We tried to be short. We went to the doctor. What is wrong with us? He said we can’t do nothing about it.” – Alfredo (13:17)
• No Pooping:
  • “Us elves, we don’t poop…That’s something a lot of people don’t know about elves.” – Elfis Presley (14:41)

4. Indulgence—and Disappointment—in Human Culture

• Food Differences:
  • Alfredo is thrilled by Mexican food: “When I was in the North Pole, I used to dream of enchiladas, quesadillas…now I know I am the culture.” (16:11)
  • Elfis, however, misses North Pole basics: “I love my sugar cookies…I don’t really f*ck with Mexican food like that, G.” (16:35)
• Real-World Struggles:
  • “The only thing about here is when you work…you have to make money to live. If you don’t, they kick you out.” – Alfredo (17:13)

5. North Pole Party Culture and Naughty vs. Nice

• Holiday Wildness:
  • Christmas at the North Pole is more “EDC than EDC”—the parties, sugar cookie juice, and flying elves outclass human celebrations. (“A bunch of elves partying with sugar cookie juice and blacking out…we started flying because we know what they feed Rudolph.” 25:24)
• Naughty List Theory:
  • “Back in the North Pole, we don’t give a f***. We on the naughty list. It’s like a good thing. You want to be on the naughty list?” (26:31)
  • “Here on Earth, they keep it all in…but you gotta let it out, fool.” (27:10)

6. North Pole Drama: Santa, Mrs. Claus, and Shocking Secrets

• Mrs. Claus Affair:
  • Elfis confesses a secret romantic entanglement with Mrs. Claus: “She used to throw [the ojo] at me...I started walking with more authority…there’s a new papa in town.” (32:11–33:34)
  • “She just wanted a bad boy, homie…She wanted to ride something else besides a reindeer.” (36:02)
  • Ultimately, Mrs. Claus chooses Santa over Elfis, leading to the elves' exile.
• Santa’s Shady Side:
  • In a “Truth or Drink” segment, the elves impulsively reveal, “My boy had an affair with his hyena [Mrs. Claus]” (48:32), exposing North Pole gossip.

7. Reindeer Real Talk

• Deep Dives:
  • The elves confirm the reindeer talk (“Rangers are cool. Vixen—sick ass hyena. Dasher—he be dashing. Gambling problem.” 40:45)
  • “Back at the North Pole, a lot of people be hating on Rudolph because he’s got the most clout…now he’s sipping too much sugar cookie juice.” (39:44–40:17)
  • Cupid, they joke, has gotten into the “North Pole porn industry.”
• Reindeer Stereotypes Revamped:
  • “Prancer is like the Paris Hilton of the North Pole…He’s a diva.” (41:06)
  • “Donner’s a sleeper—good guy, first one there, last to leave. People be sleeping on Donner, fool.” (41:30)

8. Elf Life Lessons & Family

• Looking for Lost Fathers:
  • Elfis shares a “sentimental” memory of being abandoned, presenting his father’s note: “‘Catch you later, ese. Love, papa’…Never caught that fool.” (44:54)
  • “That was like eight years ago, I was four, now I’m thirty-five…You’re good at math.” (45:20–45:32)
• Machismo Satire:
  • Throughout, the characters lampoon the machismo/“hardness” of cholo culture while exposing emotional vulnerability and longing.
  • “I feel like we have something to teach on this podcast—don’t keep it all in, homie…Let it out, wherever it takes you.” (27:19)

9. Truth or Drink: North Pole Sins and Alleged Crimes

• Wild Confessions:
  • They discuss shanking the original hosts with sharp candy canes, workplace crimes (“credit card fraud…and that’s fine, see, homie.” 53:19), and “disappearing” an annoying co-worker named Scrooge.
• Rules Broken:
  • Alfredo refuses to detail his worst North Pole rule break: “I think I’ll just take a drink. I don’t want to expose myself.” (54:06)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Us elves, we don’t poop…That’s something a lot of people don’t know about elves.” (Elfis Presley, 14:41)
• “Back in the North Pole, we don’t give a f*. We on the naughty list. It’s like a good thing.”** (Alfredo, 26:31)
• “She just wanted a bad boy, homie…She wanted to ride something else besides a reindeer.” (Elfis Presley, 36:02)
• “I say, I don’t even know what the—I got—I got a candy cane right here to represent the North Pole…I got a snowflake right here. Because that’s all I used to see back in the day. And like it represents me cold.” (Alfredo, 21:13–21:40)
• “Mrs. Claus…she used to throw it at me…I started walking with more authority…there’s a new papa in town.” (Elfis Presley, 32:11–33:34)
• “I feel like we have something to teach on this podcast—don’t keep it all in, homie…Let it out, wherever it takes you. Maybe it takes you to be naughty. Who gives a f*, homie?”** (Elfis Presley/Alfredo, 27:19)
• “My boy had an affair with his hyena [Mrs. Claus].” (Alfredo, 48:32)
• “That was like eight years ago, I was four, now I’m thirty-five…You’re good at math.” (Elfis Presley & Alfredo, 45:20–45:32)
• “Did you hear my story? Fool, of course I remember…” (Elfis Presley, 38:14, mocking sentimental storytelling)
• “Catch you later, ese. Love, papa. I never caught that fool.” (Elfis Presley, 44:54)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Cholo Elf Takeover Origin Story: 04:00–09:45
• Elf Discontent & Santa’s Dismissal: 06:00–09:05
• Assimilating in LA & Outfits: 17:58–19:39
• Tattoos & Personal Elf Symbolism: 20:13–22:46
• No Pooping Discussion: 14:41–15:11
• North Pole Partying vs. Human Christmas: 25:13–27:10
• Mrs. Claus Romance: 31:46–37:14
• Reindeer Stereotypes & Stories: 39:19–42:15
• Truth or Drink (Scandals & Crimes): 47:05–55:11
• Family Drama & Elfis’s Missing Father: 43:36–45:58
• Holiday Outtro & Reflections: 57:57–59:57

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Tone & Style

The entire episode is improvisational, blending classic Chicano/Cholo slang and humor with holiday themes. The tone is irreverent, self-deprecating, and occasionally sentimental, lampooning both North Pole mythology and Latino stereotypes with affectionate parody. The use of Spanglish, mock machismo, and inside jokes updates holiday content for a younger, urban audience.

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Summary for Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

In this off-the-wall Christmas special, Sebastian Robles and Josh Leyva—in-character as bad-boy cholo elves—tell their audacious version of elf life after escaping the North Pole. They skewer Santa’s nasty secrets, flaunt their LA fashion sense, reminisce about North Pole mischief, and get real about reindeer drama and culture shock in LA. Blending absurd revelations with genuine moments of vulnerability, La Plática’s cholo elf episode is both a send-up of holiday clichés and a love letter to California Latino culture. If you like your holiday content “feedme” (firm), irreverent, and occasionally touching—this one’s for you, ese.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Guys, it's the holidays and we're here to make it more jolly for ya.

[C]

It's the holidays, meaning what can I give my fellow friends, family, siblings, acquaintances?

[B]

Hey, you see the ears? We're here to help on some elf shit.

[C]

Guys, it's the holidays. That means we all spending a little bit more bread for like tickets, day.

[B]

Nights, and not if you use our code over at Sea Geek, but with.

[C]

That bread that you spend it, we can save you on some bread, right?

[B]

On some pan, guys, date night, holiday gifts, something to do for the new year. Maybe you have something scheduled out for next year.

[C]

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[B]

For, SeatGeek is the place to get your ticket.

[C]

I think they call that SeatGeek has you covered.

[B]

I think they call that SeatGeek has you Covered.

[C]

Yeah, for sure.

[B]

If I don't say so myself. Guys, make sure to use code LA PLATICA10 for 10 off your ticket to purchase over at SeatGeek. Whatever you are in search of, concert wise, sporting wise, dating wise, gift wise.

[C]

That's it. All at checkout. All at checkout. La Platica 10. That's it. 10% off your ticketing purchase. We'll see you very soon. Guys, when you're at that event, you tag us. That's right.

[B]

And look, look, look. Before, just to give you guys a little quick rundown how SeatGeek works, right? They got over 75,000 live events daily. 28 million downloads green dot means good. Right now means bad. I don't play when I speak about this. Download seatgeek. Get it on your phone. Use code APPLATIGAT10. Get yourself hooked up. I'm not here to joke around. There ain't no funny business up in here.

[C]

God damn it.

[B]

See you in 12.4 seconds. Great episode coming up. You don't wanna miss it. Boom.

I'm gonna use it.

[D]

Let me be honest.

[C]

Every guest is a privilege.

[B]

Do we want to go there, get jolly?

[C]

Cause I'm on a podcast with Josh Lay. Yeah, you have too. Ladies and gentlemen, let me just tell you what's up.

[B]

Be busted.

[C]

Today you got a feeder, man.

[B]

Homies.

[C]

And today, homie.

[B]

What's up, homie?

[C]

Like I said, we got a firme episode. It used to be Josh and Sebas on the pod, but now we shake those fools, homie. Let me introduce you to some candy canes, homie.

[B]

All sharp. You know when you twist them. All sharp. And.

My funny bone, fool. It's not funny.

[C]

Fuck.

This vitamins episode is sponsored by Sink Geek. The vato's over at se crazy ass phone.

[B]

Hey, shout out number one at the number one ticketing app on the app store phone.

[C]

And guess what? That's on, pala.

[B]

That's on.

[C]

You got. I'mma introduce myself. My name is Alfredo.

[B]

Hey, you better put some parmesan on your name, homie.

[C]

Alfredo. Like the pasta.

[B]

I love pasta.

[C]

What's your name, homie?

[B]

Hey, the homies call me. You know what I'm saying? They call me. What's my name again? Hold on, I got it. Been drinking a lot, homie. There's been a lot on my mind.

[C]

My name, your name.

[B]

My name, phone. My name is the Elvis Presley.

[C]

I like that, homie.

[B]

My mom used to listen to a lot of elfis when I was like, little and in the, in her belly.

[C]

Like in the belly or on her belly? Oops.

[B]

So, like, you know, I never had a pops, you know? So like, I looked at Elvis like my pops, you know?

[C]

Yeah. And a lot of people probably.

[B]

He had moves, Phone. He had moves.

[C]

Anyways, I finally, I, I, I want to say that we, we ran away from, from the, from, from, from the toy factory warehouse. Santa Claus's workshop.

[B]

You gonna talk about it right away? Phone.

[C]

Should I not phone?

[B]

I mean, I guess you got to give them a little bit of backstory or else this podcast is kind of random. No.

[C]

First of all, we're cholo elves and cho elves. We get down and not only do we get Down. We get down to business.

[B]

Now listen. F this fool's whack right now. F. Look, this is what happened.

[C]

Look, eat out.

[B]

Check it. So we used to be up in the North Pole and. Right.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So we used to be up in that cut helping Santa and going. And.

[C]

Like, too much. Like too much work for me.

[B]

But that got on our nerves.

[C]

F Super on our nerves.

[B]

All jolly and f tough out world. It's a tough world out there.

[C]

That was getting on my nerves.

[B]

Jolly ass fool. Cute ass fool. Always trying to give me milk and cookies and I'm lactose.

Anyways, so we used to be in the North Pole, you know, called Santa Claus Helpers and all. Sick phone. I was like, assistant manager phone. On the little gold card sections were like the. Anyways, so like, I. I was, you know, me and Sevas. I mean, Alfredo.

[C]

My name is Alfredo. Like the pasta.

[B]

Really good pasta. Underrated, if I do say so myself.

[C]

Like the pasta.

[B]

And we just got sick of that, huh?

So we were like. One day we joined together as elves, right? We put our ears together. Yeah.

[C]

And our bandanas on.

[B]

Yeah. And we were touching ears like this, ear to ear. And we say, you know, what for? Yeah.

[C]

Yes, Tubo.

[B]

And we're like, what if we just. Here.

[C]

What if we just get out of here?

Hold on. What about if we just get out of here, man? I'm done with these short ass fools, dog.

[B]

Yeah. Everyone's all jolly green.

[C]

Jolly making wooden toys.

It's 2025. Have you not heard of a PlayStation? Done with that.

[B]

That's right. That's right. So that was the conversation we had, right? And they were like, you know what? Foon. Like, we just feel like misunderstood and shit, you know?

[C]

Well, since day one, I've been misunderstood, Dawn.

[B]

You know, I was like, I don't feel stood. I feel missed, miss. And I'm kind of under stud stunned. So one day I walked up to Santa Claus just to, like, you know, maybe vent a little bit, you know? You know?

[C]

Yeah, I remember. I remember you went up to him and. And you said, hey, Santa, I'm about to ventilate to you, fool.

[B]

Exactly. So I walked into that fool's office and. And I remember that fool, like, all smiling and all fat and stuff. And I was like, bro.

I need more to life, you know, like, maybe there's more to life.

[C]

There wasn't even, like, such a thing as promotions.

[B]

And I was promoted F. I was assistant manager.

[C]

F, yeah, you, but not me.

[B]

Only you are always tardy. And F you Know what tardy means?

[C]

So we came with a plan to, like, get out of there. It.

No.

[B]

F. Let me tell my story. F. When I walked into the office, walked into his office phone, I'm like, yo, Santa Claus. F. Listen, man, like, this ain't cutting it for me anymore, Este. I need something more to life, huh? Like, maybe, like. Maybe I could, like, like, fly the sled or some shit with you, you know? Like. Like, I could be like the captain, and you could be doing your toy shit. Like, give me something more. G. Ain't trying to see the world, they said, I'm trying to see what's up there.

[C]

All right?

[B]

And then he said, I'll never forget it, fool. I'll never forget it, fool. He said, fuck. He was like. This is what he said.

Too bad, so sad, phone.

That's what he told me. Too bad, so sad.

[C]

Almost that.

[B]

That one.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So I was like, this phone, man. I joined ears with my homie Alfredo, and I said, we're getting out of here. There's a whole world outside, homie. I was like, I was on my Aladdin, homie.

[C]

I remember that day.

[B]

Magic carpet.

[C]

I remember that day yesterday. I remember that day yesterday.

[B]

And we flew out that, huh?

[C]

Yeah, we did.

[B]

I said, huh?

[C]

Hit up to anti over in Los Angele.

[B]

And now we out here.

[C]

And now we're here. And guess what? All these fools out here dress like us, doggy. And now we're not misunderstood like that, per.

[B]

Well, still a little bit. But it's all good. It's all good, you know?

[C]

But, like, our ears might be bigger than everybody's, but they respect us.

[B]

That's right. It's it. Yeah.

[C]

And guess what? Santa Claus, homie.

[B]

Hey, that fool fuck.

[C]

Mrs. Santa Claus, homie.

[B]

Oh, no, no, no. Chill, homie.

[C]

Chill.

[B]

Nah, nah, Chill, bro. Chill.

[C]

And all those.

[B]

Chill, chill. On the. On the. Ms. Santa Claus. She's cool, bro.

[C]

So we out of the North Pole. We like it back here. Yeah, we have.

[B]

You didn't see her like I saw her phone.

[C]

We've already had in and out.

[B]

We had them googly eyes towards each other.

[C]

We already went to the Americana, and.

[B]

Oh, with the golden thing.

[C]

We went to the Cheesecake Factory, and that was kind of firm, doc.

[B]

Hey, brown bread or white bread? Brown.

[C]

The chocolate one.

[B]

Yeah, that one's good.

[C]

The chocolate one. They don't got that back north.

[B]

Anyway, so the homies, we met these two fools, they would go by I7US and D. Josh Leva, and they were telling us how they have, like, this whole podcast called La Platica or whatever. Number one Latino podcast in the world type. And I was like, chill food. Like, let me Google that. And sure enough, sure enough, sure enough, there was number one Latino podcast in the world.

[C]

They were speaking the truth.

[B]

So, of course, me, you know, me and Alfredo, we don't play that dog. Like, if we see something, we take what's ours, homie. So we pulled up on those fools for, like I said.

With the thing with the.

The candy.

[C]

The candy.

[B]

We shanked him real quick. I said, this is our podcast now. Little, little vatos think you're all feed men. Ah. You ain't never seen a. You ain't never seen a f like me. You know what I mean? So anyways, that's why we're here today. We're here to give you guys a good show. Better show than they ever could, those fools.

You know what I mean? And maybe this could be our new calling phone. Like, maybe we can be podcasters. And I think. Can't do headphones, that's for sure.

[C]

I think that can work. I think that can work. So, you know, but, like, do you miss the North Pole? Honestly? You know, like, what's something that you miss? Because I know you left a couple hyenitas out there.

[B]

Yeah, I did.

[C]

Can you tell. Can you tell them the truth?

[B]

Yeah. So anyways, you know, we're just out here and, you know.

Got any questions for us, Jess, or what?

[D]

Actually, I. I do. For starters, aren't you guys a little tall to be elves?

[B]

That's the thing.

[C]

And that's the thing.

[B]

And that's the thing.

[C]

That's the thing.

[B]

And that's the thing.

[C]

When we were over there.

[B]

Uhhuh.

[C]

Not only did we hate what we.

[B]

Did, Hated that, but.

[C]

But everybody. Everybody was, like, looking at us all the time and was like, man, these vatos are tall. Who is. Who is. Who is their father? Who is their mother?

[B]

Wrong.

[C]

Wrong.

[B]

Shaquille o'. Neal.

[C]

Wrong. Darth Vader. Maybe.

[B]

Maybe.

[C]

And, like, it just didn't feel right. Essay. It didn't. It didn't.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

But check it out.

[B]

Check.

[C]

Just didn't feel right.

[B]

Didn't fall.

[C]

And my neck started getting, like.

[B]

That's. Yeah. Before I started getting, like, sharp pains. And on my.

[C]

They say out of a million elves, two of. Two of them elf vatos are like talent.

[B]

Hey, you would think that we had Medicare or some.

[C]

And don't get me wrong, we tried to be short. We went to the doctor. What is wrong with us?

He Said we can't do nothing about it.

[B]

So yeah, we were tall as fool. But you know what? I see ass, homie.

[C]

I see ass.

Yes.

[B]

You know, it ain't the ocean of the motion. It's the size of the boat. That's what I always say, you know what I mean?

[C]

Plus, back in the North Pole and shit, they don't got no dickies, they don't got no Ben Davis, and especially this. We imported these Cortez's from Los Angeles. And now we here, baby.

[B]

La.

[C]

They don't got bandanas. They got the ugly green office with the pointy shoes that go like that.

[B]

Fo over those fits, fool. Over it.

[C]

G over it.

[B]

Anyways, next question. Jess.

[D]

So since you guys have been out here for a while, what would you say has been the craziest learning lesson about humans or about the real world? Like, I'm curious as to how your experience has gone.

[B]

Yeah, that's a good question. Humans fool humans.

[C]

I mean, they like respect us. Yeah, they respect us.

They mind their own business. It's cool. I personally thought I was gonna get more attention.

[B]

Look, phone. Let me tell you something about humans. Phone.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I don't like that humans poop. I don't like that phone. Like, why are you pooping? You know what I mean? Like, don't you have other to do? Us elves, we don't poop.

[C]

We don't poop.

[B]

That's something a lot of people don't know about elves. We don't poop. So that's good because it's. We have other to do. Like build toys. And build toys. Exactly. And if I'm busy pooping, what do you think is going to happen?

[C]

Yeah, we Mexican cholo elves. All we do is work. No poop.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

So that's probably never wiped my ass.

[B]

And they don't have magical powers and like. So you guys are just putting up your butt and pooping? No magical powers.

Your rifle.

[C]

Next question.

[D]

What about the food? How's. How is it different here versus in the North Pole?

[C]

Well, look at fall.

First of all, homie, first of all, the food out here is magical. It's everything I've ever dreamed of.

[B]

Yeah?

[C]

Oh, yeah. When I was in the North Pole, I used to dream of enchiladas quesadillas. But nobody ever made that. Just a bunch of milk and cookies.

No me gusta.

[D]

Quick question. How did you know about enchiladas?

[B]

Yeah, I didn't know about that.

[C]

It's always been a firme ass dream of mine. Always in My mentalidad just eating food from a magical place called Mexico, Mexico, Mexico. And that's why I knew that the culture was me. And I am the culture. I love quesadillas.

[B]

Hey, listen for. I'll be real with you, homie. I don't really with Mexican food like that, G. I don't really like all that, homie. I like my sugar cookies. I like my baldulse. I just like my little lechita. I love the food at the North Pole, G. That's one probably going to miss the most, homie. The photo here is good, but it's like there's chemicals and in that there's bacteria and.

[C]

Yeah, I get what you're saying.

[B]

You know what I mean? Yeah. Was clean, full. They didn't have that over here.

[C]

I haven't even had a glass of milk.

[B]

Exactly. Don't you miss it? Don't you miss the lechita fool off the teeth and like of the other Rudolph is teeth.

[C]

The only like thing about here is like when you work.

You have to make money to live.

[B]

If what you get paid with? Paper, fool.

[C]

Yeah, like green paper. The is that like no more milk and cookies. And there's something that's called rent and you have to pay for it. And if you don't, they like kick you out.

[B]

And.

[C]

And I just think that's not cool, man.

[B]

And you think if we went back to the North Pole, they'll take us back?

[C]

I think they would because we were tall, handsome, cute, and we work hard. We work hard for Oz.

[B]

Exactly. Phone. That's what I always tell my mom.

[C]

Hey, can you show me your favorite real quick, homie?

[B]

Something light. Phone. Got the dickies, something, you know, something cool and calm for perfect size. And a little tight, if I'm being honest. But these easel. Do you know what I mean? Got the flannel.

It's feed him. And my lady ironed it for me this morning, so.

[C]

Oh, you got a lady now out here, huh?

[B]

I got the white tea fresh.

It's a little. It's a little crop, but it'll do. It'll do. Got the cinto. Where's my seat? Got the cinto, which is pretty sick.

[C]

You look good. I said you look good. And.

Palaura, you look good. I say.

[B]

Got the Cortez and you know, just a calm fit, man. Undies too cropped. It's cool.

[C]

G. You look fear. My dog.

[B]

Talk about your fitness.

[C]

No, my fit is kind of fitted. My too. I got the cinto right here.

[B]

Damn. Look, you see Damn fool.

[C]

I got the Cortez Estamien Palavra.

[B]

Hey, those are the snowflakes.

[C]

Damn, always snowflakes. I got the dickies too. Look.

[B]

Damn. With the crispy line down the middle.

What's up with the flannel? It's a little short, but it'll do. Fun.

[C]

The flannel. I got the bandana on, you know the vibes.

[B]

What about the ice on the. On the ears?

[C]

Fun. You see it?

[B]

Damn.

[C]

The thing is, is nobody dresses like us out here, doggy. Nah, nobody. Nobody's as firm as us, dog. Exactly. Nobody.

[B]

You know, I had this elf one time, tell me sick as vato phone, like OG type shit full passed away rfp. He was cool as fuck. He said he saw what he said. Hey, elfis a fool. Why. Why blend in when you were meant to stand?

[C]

Now.

I like that quote.

[B]

I know.

[C]

Next question. Yes, or what?

[D]

You talked about your outfits, but I also noticed some tattoos. Why don't we do a little ink check?

[C]

You want to go first, homie?

[B]

Yeah. So what I got some light. Let me see if I opened up my bandana right here I got some. The. The mistletoe because I stay kissing myself and cuz I'm always under the mistletoe. So I gotta blast it right here so I can just kiss myself. Huh.

[C]

I'll kiss you.

[B]

And then I got some candy cane like. Like hearts too.

[C]

Oh, I see that, huh.

[B]

For some. Ha. Used to date back in the day, she was sweet as candy cane from. And I had two of them. There was two. Two hyenas.

[C]

I like it.

[B]

And we were like a chocolate phone. So. So I linked them together because we used to all be.

[C]

Kenny King.

[B]

And then for you know, our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ blinged out, you know, something just to remind the people I'm love Jesus.

[C]

And you got some fear mask tattoos, homie.

[B]

Thanks.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. For me. I say, I don't even know what the. I got. I got a candy cane right here to represent the North Pole obviously, because that's where I was born.

[B]

North Pole.

[C]

And that's where like my Jefita's from too.

[B]

So she's still out there for.

[C]

Yeah, she's still out there. I sent her cards every once in a while.

[B]

Postcards and postcards and hey, whatever. People don't do postcards. And over here, phone.

[C]

Hold on one second. Phone.

[B]

Think about it.

[C]

I got a snowflake right here. Because that's all I used to see back in the day. And like it represents me cold. Hey, Right here under here, I have a reef. Kind of like what you see right here on the microphone, homie, represents Christmas. Something we celebrate every day.

[B]

Love Christmas.

[C]

Right here on my neck. If you see, I have what you call a calavera, homie. And it has a little Santa Claus. Because Santa's dead to me.

[B]

Hey, Santa's dead to me, homie.

[C]

On the other side, I have a ruka off.

[B]

I remember her f. Yeah, I remember her phone.

[C]

Just to remind me of the ruka I used to be with back in the North Pole. And she has a Santa Claus hat too, because Santa also smashed.

[B]

Hey, you know why? Hey. Because she's a ho ho ho pho.

[C]

I told you not to say the joke about the H dog.

[B]

Well, my bad phone is too easy. You know what I mean?

[C]

Sometimes they just give them to you. A lot of people always wonder here back in LA that like, why do we have like blush and like nice eyelashes and like beautiful ears? I don't know. It's like the. Our natural pigment on our skin, on our cheeks.

[B]

That's just the way we come. Like.

[C]

And I just said we're cute. Exactly. I think we're. And like, they always say, like, why is your nose so perfect?

[B]

Who? Ours.

[C]

Ours.

[B]

Well, sorry about it.

[C]

Give the. Give the crowd.

A side profile view of you.

[B]

What's wrong with my nose? Full is normal.

[C]

Nothing. Full is cute. Anyways, can you give me some more wine food? This tastes like UBA juice.

[D]

Do you guys have alcohol in the North Pole.

On eggnog or what?

[C]

Okay, so there's like a big misconception about alcohol in the North Pole. And like else figure it out. Just like how we build your toys. But like, we figure it out because sometimes it gets really cold, so we need something to warm us up. And eggnog just like doesn't do it no more. So what we do is we ferment graham crackers and sugar cookies. Lots of them.

[B]

That's rightful.

[C]

We call the concoction sugar cookie juice.

[B]

Hey, fool. Hey. After those long ass hours full, all working and ain't nothing here like a.

[C]

Candy cane, cheloski and like nobody knows this, but like when the Christmas trees are done, I roll them up in a joint and I smoke them.

[B]

Damn f you be doing that. How come you never give me some dog? No wonder your eyes are always low and always.

God knows what you were doing. Yeah, so we've been drinking and getting faded and with the homies and like it's all sick and. And you know, we just be you know, fading and. Right. Yeah. We go to the bar and. And like just chill and you know, like drinking, partying.

[C]

So like I was like watching like a. Another podcast and they just like talk about like random things. Okay. Like I saw one the other day and they were talking about overrated Halloween that we don't like. But I want to ask you. Why am I talking like this.

Homie?

Say it. Look at f. I want to talk to you about Christmas, okay? Cuz I miss it. Low key.

[D]

How do you think the humans are doing with Christmas in comparison to the North Pole?

[B]

They don't get it for.

[C]

They don't get it for. Hey, like over here it's like, hey.

[B]

Tell them about the North Pole. I'll cracking again, man.

[C]

It gets cracking. Like you guys have something here called like edc? Yeah, homie, not like that. It's like way better. Way better for way better. Imagine like a bunch of elves partying with sugar cookie juice and like blacking out. But like also starting to fly because we know what they feed Rudolph and why he flies. We figured it out. They make that food.

[B]

Who the you looking at, Christmas tree?

[C]

They make that food. Eat his own poop. So we started eating his poop.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

We fly.

[B]

You tripping. I don't eat his poop. Phone. That's you. You're the poop eater. That's what they used to call you behind your back phone. Poop eater.

[C]

Man, you don't even want to know what they used to call you.

[B]

Hey, listen, let me tell you something about humans. F they don't get down like us at the North Pole. Every day we party. Every day we turn it up for. For Christmas. Every day we're happy as over here. People are sad as over here.

[C]

You know what I noticed? I feel like over here, homie, people like really try not to like. They really try not to like, like.

[B]

No, you know what it is? No, I got it.

[C]

No, I got it. No, hold on. I got it, fool. Hold on. I got it, fool. People out here, they try not to be on the naughty list. Ah, back in the North Pole, they don't give up. We don't give a. We on the naughty list. It's like a good thing. Hey, you want to be on the naughty list?

[B]

But I was going to say the same thing. What I was going to say, though you put it more eloquently, I actually like the way you put it eloquently.

[C]

Thank you. Thank you, fool.

[B]

What I was gonna say is the people out Here in Earth, like on human nature shit, they keep it all in, homie.

[C]

Right?

[B]

They keep it all in.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And at the North Pole, we let it all out. We let it all out. And here on Earth, keep it in. But you gotta let it out, fool.

[C]

Let it out wherever it takes you.

[B]

Wherever it fucking takes you. Maybe it takes you to be naughty. Who gives a fuck, homie?

[C]

Who gives a fuck? And that's one of the reasons why we left too.

[B]

We laughed.

[C]

We encourage people to be on the naughty list.

Can you hit a nasty?

How is that, man?

[B]

So look, if there's anything we could teach you on this podcast, because, hey, podcast. Hey, podcasts can be educational. Fool, don't let. Don't keep it all in from.

[C]

Hey, can I let it out? Hey, homie, can I tell you something, though? Something. Something that people out here in North America tend to do.

They get Christmas ornaments and they shove them up their bot phone and like, go to the hospital, fall.

[B]

Why do people do that? Like, even ornaments like this. Whoa.

[C]

That'S a bad one for.

[B]

Well, they just.

[C]

Yeah, they like, be going to like. Like when me. When we me go to the Naughty List. It doesn't mean that.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, unless you're into that, but that gets stuck up your butt. No, I don't have a butt, so I don't know, like, I don't have a butt.

[C]

Supposedly, like, your butt just sucks it up for.

[B]

It's weird.

Anyways, any other questions? Jess, give her a second. Fool, back up. Fool. You're all.

Oh, you want some?

[C]

You know, we were gonna shank Jess tune with the candy cane, but she said, no, I'll help you guys. Okay.

[B]

Okay, now we have her on standby.

[C]

Okay, remember, fool, don't keep it in too much information. And fool, let it out.

[D]

If Santa pulled up right now, that fool. What would you guys do?

[C]

Man, I. That for.

Straight up, bro.

[B]

If Mr. Sanny pulled up on me, I tell him, you know what? Huh? You're stupid. And you know what? Don't ever. I ain't going back, phone. I ain't going back. And then I'll kiss him because I feel was good to us a little bit.

[C]

No, no, There was a time phone. There was a time phone.

[B]

Yeah, there was a time phone.

[C]

If I saw Santa Claus right now, homie. Like right now, homie, and he stood up to me, homie.

I would be a little speechless.

[B]

Ooh, that's a big word, homie. That's a big word, homie. I think you need to explain to them what that means? That's a big word, homie.

[C]

Means when your speech is less. Yes, but like so like you kind of run out of words.

[B]

Yeah, for but like. Yeah, like you got to like break it down more. Fool.

[C]

Okay, so like speech is when you talk, right? That is what your speech is, homie.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Less is like food for less, right?

[B]

That's right, homie.

[C]

And like I like food for less.

[B]

Okay. Hella deal. So.

[C]

Or like Ross shot for less.

[B]

It's actually dressed for less, but it's cool, homie.

[C]

So like you put all those two together and all you hear is silence.

[B]

So boom. So there you go. So see fool. We're educating fools. Cuz you can't be using big words and fool in the North Pole where everybody's way, way more smarter. Fool, way more smarter. F. So dumb it down.

[C]

F. Dumb it down.

[B]

We got Benaki here. He don't know what the we're saying over here. He over thinking we sound like Harvard.

[C]

And F, supposedly that fool doesn't like tomatoes.

[B]

F man, that fool, homie. Anyways.

[D]

Okay, Alphis, you mentioned that you had a connection with Mrs. Claude.

[B]

I knew you were that up.

[C]

J. You didn't tell me that, homie.

[B]

Hey, she's the op phone.

[C]

You didn't tell me that, homie.

[D]

I'm just. I'm just trying to figure out what that was like. Like. Did you like, clearly it wasn't enough to stay behind? Did you guys. Did you. Did you let her know before you left that you were going to be gone? How did she take it? Like a whole tele. Noela is playing out in my head and I just. I just want to know the details.

[B]

You want to know the dirty deets? Should I tell her the dirty deeds?

[C]

You smash Mrs. Claws on me, huh?

[B]

No ablo ingleso.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

So.

All right. So look, Jess, look, I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic, you know what I mean? Like I be loving this, you know. So basically like she used to give me the oho. She used to throw it at me.

[C]

You know, Let me see how she did it.

[B]

She's. I'm blushing. And so I'd be walking, you know.

And I see her for. And you know, I respectfully. Fool. She's married, fool.

[C]

Right, respectfully.

[B]

To the big boss. So, you know, fuck that fool. You know, I fucking.

[C]

Hello.

[B]

Hello. Mrs. Claus. Your Honor. Pleasure to meet you, ma'. Am. But one day, fool, she gave me. You know, when you shake people's hand, you give him a good fucking feeling of shame. So I said, hello, you, Honor. Pleasure to meet you. And she did the little thingy with the finger right there, fool. I know. So I said, pera.

I know I didn't tell you. That's on the phone. I see that.

I was all bricked up doing Hoyetes. Well, I had a second hammer.

I had two hammers. Three. Three hammers. I was working extra hard. Your was all dx.

[C]

Your was.

Your was all dude.

[B]

I knew in my mind was all, dude, fool, listen. I knew in my mind right then and there, fool. I knew. I said, it's over for the. For the big guy, okay? There's a new papa in town.

[C]

You thought you were gonna be Santa Claus, huh?

[B]

I started walking with more authority. And from. Hey, hey, you.

Get on that way, you know what's up? Full big boss status. Right?

[C]

So.

Right at this moment where you.

[B]

Still doodle bricked up, fool. Always, fool. Ever since I got the. I don't know, for whatever reason, ricked. So, boom, right?

[E]

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[B]

She gives me the. I knew it was going down, all right. So I was like, fuck it, fool. I'm gonna see what's up. So I went up to her and.

[C]

I was like, what you telling her?

[B]

I was like. I whispered, like, some sweet nothings for her, like a real homie, you know? Like, what's up with you? What's up with me? Maybe we can be something together, you and me.

[C]

We can be something, right?

[B]

So she was like, yeah, I'm trying to.

[C]

What does that mean?

[B]

I don't know. I wanted to figure it out, fool. You know?

[C]

Damn, fool, for real. And at this moment, you were still bricked up, homie.

[B]

No, for. Because then I realized, you know, Then I realized, for, like, this is more than just a. You know what I mean? Physical. And she had a connection with me. But she looked me in the eyes like.

Like, I wish my daddy looked in my eyes. I could be somebody.

[C]

I'm talking about your dad, fool. You know how I get with that.

[B]

Hopes and dreams fulfill my God, I song.

[C]

Don't talk about your dad like that.

[B]

So anyways, I was like, so what's up? Like, let me take you out on a quick little date. On the low, of course. Took her out, got some wine for him. We used to drink the same bottle right here.

[C]

F dang.

[B]

Told her, hey, you know what? Look, I know you got a thing going on with the big homie, but like, that fool, you know, he's all jolly and fool, you know, that fool.

[C]

Doesn'T think about her the way that you would think about her emotionally.

[B]

Fool. He's on one note. Fool happy. F me. I could be happy. I could be a bad boy too, homie.

[C]

Yeah, she.

[B]

He don't got no bad side.

[C]

Did she touch your pee pee?

[B]

Hey, she just wanted a bad boy, homie. She wanted to arrive at something else besides a reindeer, homie. So I said, you know what? Style it. So anyways, we started dating on the low. Started like, you know, chopping it up every day, like, talking.

[C]

Did you tell her that you would drop your life for her?

[B]

I said, I did, for that's what happened. So right then. And then I said, look, you pick between me or the fatty.

[C]

Right now and what's she saying, homie?

[B]

She said, no can do.

[C]

And that's why we here, man.

[B]

And then what tripped me out, though, in my fucking mind and shit. And I said, you know what? Then I'm out of here.

[C]

Yas tubo.

[B]

Hey, folk. You know why, fool? Cause you gotta know yourself worth fo.

[C]

Nah, fu.

[B]

I'm. You gotta know what you're worth.

[C]

No, honestly. Yas tubo.

[B]

And just to fuck with her a little bit, I said, hey, you're gonna fucking miss this funk.

[C]

And what did you do?

[B]

I said, all right, I'll catch you later, all right? So I said, I shook her hand and I gave her the little.

[C]

You did it back on me later.

[B]

Wait, so I'm in her mind now?

[C]

Hey, homie, every time do that.

[B]

I hit her with a. Later.

[C]

Do me a favor, homie. Do that sound, dog.

Do it. Do it next to the microphone, homie. Do it next to the microphone.

[B]

All right? Hey, sucks the sun.

[C]

You're not listening to me, homie. You're not listening to me.

[B]

I did it on the.

[C]

No, no, you did it up here.

[D]

But we can hear it.

[C]

I need you.

Who's talking to you guys?

[B]

So anyways, that's the story about me and Mr. Claus. She probably thinks about me every day and dang.

[C]

So you hit her with the.

[B]

Had to.

[C]

You Hit her with the what?

[B]

Hey, on some full circle type. Think about it.

[C]

Did she look at you when you did that, homie?

[B]

Oh, I had to swim out of there.

[C]

But do you still remember when she.

[B]

Did, though, swim out of there? I had a scuba suit out of there. F. I hope so.

[C]

Did you remember when she did it to you, though, homie?

[B]

Yeah. Did you hear my story? F. Of course I remember. I gave a whole detailed story.

Did you listen to my story?

[C]

Damn, all I got from that story. Homie, you really are a bad boy. I say you really are. Do you have brothers and homie?

[B]

Me?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. F. No idea for you?

[C]

No idea. I'm an elf.

Alfredo.

[B]

Hot in here.

Homie. That's a regular cough, by the way. That's the way elves coughs.

[C]

Hey, what you put in this juice, homie? I'm feeling what Americans call fuzzy.

[B]

Anyways, next question. Jess.

[D]

White.

You know, you guys have talked.

[B]

She's wearing headphones.

[D]

Oh, you guys have talked a bit about the reindeer. What are they like? Like, can you. Do they talk? Actually talk? Do I. Who? Who's overrated and who's a.

[B]

Good question.

[C]

Good question.

[B]

Hey, I love our reindeers.

[C]

F.

Yeah, but.

[B]

Comment.

[C]

There's like a.

Back in the North.

[B]

Paul, thank you for clarifying. Full. Because I didn't know where you're talking about it.

[C]

Back in the North Pole, a lot of people be hating on Rudolph because he's the one that got the most cloud.

[B]

Yeah, he's famous. And how could he not, though? He look at his cute ass. Right nose.

[C]

Because of the backstory. And. But what you guys don't know is that fool's grave right now. Yeah. Gotcha, homie. Yep, that feels super grave right now. He let the fame get to him. Yeah. And now he's sipping too much on the sugar cookie juice.

[B]

Hey, but you know what? I don't even blame him for? Like, if you think about it, that.

[C]

Was living a rock star lifestyle.

[B]

Yeah. But, like, if you think about it for, like, it's a lot of pressure for you know what I mean? Like, everybody's looking at him. Everybody looking. The guy that sled tonight and with the red nose. And so, like, that's the thing, though.

[C]

That's the thing, though.

[B]

A lot of people don't get to you full.

[C]

They can definitely get to you. But Palavra, though, like, that red nose is not that shiny right now, dog.

[B]

Yeah. Hey, but the Rangers are cool. The Rangers are cool.

[C]

Rangers are cool. Vixen. Sick ass. Hyena.

[B]

He's bad. Haina.

[C]

Sikina.

[B]

Dasher.

[C]

Dasher.

[B]

That will be Dashing.

[C]

That food's fast. Fast. Gambling problem.

[B]

He gambles a lot. I don't know what's wrong with him. I told him the other day, I was like, yo, chilling the gambling full Prancer. Oh, Prancer.

[C]

He's the one that got Rudolph into all that.

[B]

Yeah, but Prancer is also like. He's a diva, fool. He's always prancing and.

[C]

Yeah, he's like the Paris Hilton of the North Pole and.

[B]

Exactly. F. Yep, he's all.

[C]

And that's on pa. Look at me.

[B]

I'm cute. You're cute. F. But like, chill.

[C]

There goes Prancer and Dasher and Vixen and Trixon and Donner.

[B]

Oh, a lot of people. Donner's a sleeper fool.

[C]

Hey, nobody knows about Donner.

[B]

Hey, Donner's a good guy. Donner's a guy who shows up on time to work rightful. In the morning.

[C]

Whatever.

[B]

Early first one there, last one to leave. People be sleeping on Donner full. Nobody knows Donner, fool. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but the reindeer, those who are down, feed them. A lot of people wish they were born as reindeer because they got all the love in.

[B]

And. But speaking of love info, what about the homie Cupid? Homie, Cupid is lover.

[C]

Cupid got into the porn industry, G.

[B]

I don't know what you get that? I thought it was trying to make a quick bug for you. Just trying to make a quick bug.

[C]

I don't know how much time. Much more I can do the cholo accent, if I'm even doing it right.

It kind of hurts.

[B]

Hurts, hurts. When you fell in love.

[C]

And you know, and honestly, I said that makes me have more respect for cholos, homie. For talking like this and dog, you know what I mean?

[B]

You think they put it on.

[C]

I think cholos for like a lot of those foods are misunderstood delinquentes, homie. Misunderstood for.

[B]

You got some beautiful ass lashes.

[C]

Thank you, homie. I just got on phone. Everybody here in la, they have a. Like a. Like a lash technician. And everybody. Everybody gets their lashes done out here, doggy.

[B]

Damn. Yeah.

[C]

How much I run you the whole check in, homie.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

Everybody here in la. Lash technician, Brazilian blowouts.

[B]

I love me a blowout phone.

[C]

People here eat sushi.

And that's all I can think about right now, homie. But hey, anyways, you were born with natural pretty lashes.

[B]

Come on, phone. Shout out to my mom. Phone she was like.

You know, I.

[C]

Mean, can you tell them the real story? While we're here in la, though.

Guys.

We'Re here in search of his father.

[B]

My papa.

Me papa.

[C]

Me papa. Me papa.

[B]

Yeah, we're trying to find my pops.

[C]

And that fool left him a note. And right when you were a little more. That's right for.

[B]

Hey, straight up.

[C]

What that say, homie?

[B]

Never forget that.

[C]

What that say, homie? Tell the audience, homie.

[B]

A note.

Read it.

[C]

What that say?

[B]

Can I finish, Phone. I read it. Flip.

[C]

What that say, homie?

[B]

God damn it, please.

[C]

And don't lie to us.

[B]

This is a very sentimental moment. Get it? I'll never forget it. Hey.

[C]

Huh, homie. That's bands.

[B]

Anyway, so I was a little. Little fool, you know, little elfis, but still fear me.

[C]

Always fear, man.

[B]

I saw a little note from my pops and I said, oh, fool. Fool wrote me a letter trying to, like, you know, express his love to me as his son, you know, as his seed. Fool came from his balls.

[C]

And as his. Huh?

[B]

So I picked up the letter f, flipped it over.

Folded it over one more fold. Fo.

Catch you later, ese.

Love, papa. I never caught that fo.

[C]

Fo.

[B]

It's later, phone.

It's later, fool. Damn fool on 35.

[C]

Okay, so how. How old were you, homie?

[B]

Four. Phone.

[C]

And now you're 35. Damn food. That was like eight years ago.

[B]

I never caught that phone. You're good at math. You're good at math.

[C]

Damn, homie. And like, see you later, homie.

[B]

No, for you to catch you later. Catch you later on some Pokemon ship on.

[C]

First thing I said was, I'm not even a Pokemon, homie. How can you catch me?

[B]

This fool thought he was asked, catch him.

[C]

It's Ash ketchum, pendejo.

[B]

As catch him for him.

[C]

Ash ketchum.

[B]

That's catch him. Damn.

[C]

That's what really said that to you, Doug?

[B]

Hey, at least he wrote me a letter. I think about that, you know? Like he took the time, you know, Think about it.

[C]

F.

You not mad at that fool, homie. Man, that f. H. 35 years later. Catch you later. That means that it's already later. Where you at, pops?

[B]

Trying to get caught.

[C]

It's later now.

[B]

Trying to get caught.

[C]

I'm trying to get picked up from somewhere.

[B]

Imagine I see that f I jump into his arm like this.

Papa.

[C]

He perfectly grabs you.

[B]

Hey, one can drink.

[C]

You're going into a ball pit.

Dream.

[B]

That's it.

[C]

That's a pretty sad story, homie.

[B]

Hey, phone. You know what they say.

[C]

Phone.

[B]

You know what? I don't know.

[C]

This. Later now, fool. Where's he at?

[B]

Anyways, anyways, you got any more questions for us, Jess?

[D]

How about a little this or that?

What's one thing about Santa you swore you'd never tell?

[B]

Oh, what's the this or that?

[C]

I got one.

[D]

Oh, I'm so sorry. Not this or that.

It's truth or drink.

[B]

Oh, okay. I'll pour us up something. Homie.

[C]

You got enough more juice for me, E?

[B]

Probably not. F. But just like my daddy used to say, catch you later, cat. You later.

[C]

You got the fear mas dickies on, homie.

[B]

The last of the bottle.

[C]

You see, that's why I don't like drinking wine.

[B]

Why?

[C]

Three cups and you're done. No more bottle.

[B]

We got to.

[C]

And by the way, everybody. By the way, everybody. Merry Christmas.

[B]

Merry Christmas.

[C]

Christmas is almost here, right?

[B]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[C]

Come to America.

[D]

So what's one thing about Senna?

[C]

You so you never tell, man.

[B]

I got one.

[C]

I got one. That's it?

[D]

No, it's truth or drink.

[B]

Truth or drink.

[C]

Sorry.

[B]

Oh, you go first. Info.

[C]

One thing about Santa that I would never say to nobody else because I promised myself.

[B]

Well, you're gonna say it full because you're gonna expose.

[C]

I'm gonna say it, fool. I'm gonna say it.

[B]

Hey, the game is called truth or drink. You don't have to, fool. You can drink full. Come on, fool, think about this.

[C]

One thing about Santa is that my boy had an affair with his hyena.

[B]

Fool, you weren't supposed to say that full. Nobody knows that, fool. Nobody knows that story full.

[C]

You're a Pedro and that's it, fool. Take your drink, homie.

[B]

No, that's not how the game works.

[C]

Do I take it?

[B]

No.

[D]

You either answer the question, answer the questions.

[B]

Because these are hard hitting questions.

These are hard hitting questions to answer. So either say, hey, I pass that formula drink, or you answer the question like a man.

Anyways, go ahead.

[D]

Jess, have you ever accidentally put someone on the wrong list on purpose?

[B]

Don't get me in trouble, Jesse.

[C]

Tell the truth, homie. Tell the truth.

[B]

All right. Okay, so I can't for I'm a drink. I can't answer. I can't answer that.

[C]

I respect that phone.

[B]

And you know what I'm saying? Like, at least to the game.

That's right.

Next question. Yes.

[D]

Alfredo, who is your least favorite elf? Co worker. Oh, and why?

[C]

Man.

Back in the North Pole and I used to work with this full name.

[B]

Screw G. Scrooge, homie. He was all, screw G, make fool.

[C]

And that fool would, like, take advantage of me and.

[D]

Whoa.

[C]

That fool would, like, just because I'm tall, strong, handsome, very.

Duffel would, like, pass me on more. Who get this for me to work on and. And I didn't like that phone until one day I got fed up.

Solo. Solo. Kill him.

[B]

So.

[C]

Nobody knows this, but we never saw that fool again.

[B]

Oops.

[C]

Oops. But that's me. Because I'm bad. I'm a bad elf. And sometimes I feel that I'm a killer.

[B]

There you go. Secrets out.

[C]

Secrets out. Does that mean I drink a.

[B]

No. Do you not get the game?

[C]

Sorry, I can't hear you, dog.

I can't hear you.

[B]

Alfredo. Check me out.

[C]

It's not Alfredo, you fuck.

[B]

Alfredo. For whatever.

[C]

Elfredo, my mother wasn't clever. Well, wait, my mother didn't come up with such a clever name back then for you to call me Alfredo.

[B]

But sometimes I'm hungry. Okay, elf Fredo, look, this is how the game works. Jessica can ask us hard questions, questions that we might not want to answer. So instead of answering that, we could drink. You don't have to answer the question, you dumb. Dumb.

[C]

Okay, so I think.

[D]

Alphys, what was the very first crime you committed after leaving the North Pole?

[C]

Talent for just talentful.

[B]

Oh, this is going to expose me. People are going to see me for who I really am.

[C]

Well, full, like, expose yourself.

[B]

All right, look straight up for.

[C]

Look straight up.

[B]

I got sticky hands.

[C]

Straight up.

[B]

I got sticky hands, dog.

[C]

For real.

[B]

So look, I.

How you say this in English?

How do you pronounce this in a. Like, in human form?

[C]

What you trying to say, homie?

[B]

Like when you. When something's not yours, right? And you can take that.

[C]

You're a straight ladron.

[B]

So. But like, if you do that to somebody.

[C]

Oh, so you're like.

Rompecoraz?

[B]

Yeah, fool. But like, what if it's like your big boss's thing?

You took that, homie. That's what I did. I stole for somebody's caught us on.

There you go. You Santa Claus.

I'm a man of crime. So do I drink?

[D]

Well, yes, because the question was, in the real world.

[B]

Oh, you didn't specify.

[D]

I said, since you left the North.

[B]

Just credit card fraud and.

[C]

Oh, that's fine. That's fine. See, homie?

[B]

Yeah. So do I drink?

[C]

Take a drink, homie. You deserve it.

[B]

I like this.

[C]

You deserve that, homie.

[B]

Been working hard.

[D]

Alfredo.

[C]

That's me, homie.

[D]

Which Santa Workshop rule Did you break them?

[C]

Oh, better.

[B]

We used to always break rules. You're gonna answer that because the one that you remember, the one you did.

[C]

Let me think this through real quick.

[B]

Remember, you don't have to answer, fool. You could drink. If this question is too bad.

[C]

I think I'll just take a drink. I take a little drink.

[B]

I agree. Full. Because that was bad.

[C]

I don't want to like expose myself.

[B]

Because you were bad. Phone like bug.

Next.

[D]

Elfis. What's something Santa does during Christmas Eve deliveries that people would be shocked to know?

[B]

Should I tell them something? Tell them it's gonna ruin kids dreams and phone.

[C]

There's not a lot of kids watching though.

[B]

You sure? Have you checked the demo?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

Demographics, the analytics?

[C]

I don't know. I don't even know what analytics are, fool.

[B]

Bar, I can't expose that for a. Because you know what? Even though I don't really like that fool, like you know, he gave me a. Give me a.

[C]

That fool gave you a steady paycheck.

[B]

And yeah, you know, like he was cool.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, hey, for the sake of Christmas and.

[C]

Oh, you're not gonna expose him like that for me.

[D]

So between the two of you, who. Who is like the real mastermind and who is just vibing.

[A]

What?

[C]

Huh? Between me and Elvis Presley?

[B]

Yes, Mr. Phone.

[C]

Mr. Elvis Presley.

[B]

The phone.

[C]

The Mr. Elvis Presley.

[B]

He.

[C]

For the Mr. He. Elfis Presley.

[B]

Sure. Next question.

We can't answer that on camera. We're caught in 4K for, as the kids say, six, seven.

[C]

What's up with all that, homie? With the whole six, seven.

[B]

And I feel like they're rating our performance.

[C]

Nah, what's up with that? The homie, for real, I feel like.

[B]

They'Re reading our performance and like maybe they're saying our toys are a 6, 7, 4. I shank those kids, every single one of them, fool.

[C]

Like, what's up with that whole six, seven, though, homie? For real.

[B]

But think about it. Maybe it's a jab at us. You know what I mean?

[C]

Maybe they're like the elves back in the North Pole. Nobody said that six, seven stuff.

[B]

Think about it though.

[C]

The. The mastermind question.

I would say the G he Lee, the Josh Leva would be the mastermind.

[A]

And.

[C]

And I'm just puttles be brass, homie.

[B]

But you got the lashes for it, fool. You got the lashes for it.

[C]

People think they're faking. Oh wait, they are.

[B]

No, they're not, fool.

[C]

I just told you, homie. I go to a Lash technician. And she.

[B]

Oh, shout out Nancy Fox.

[C]

Shout out Nancy fool. Thanks for that discount, though.

[D]

Last question. If you had to snitch on your partner to save yourself, would you.

[B]

Yes, for this?

[C]

I was gonna say no, homie. Because for me it's you and me, porrido. Not me, homie. And that's on.

[B]

Hey, not me, homie. Immediately, Snitch.

Careful, it's me. And me. And me phone.

So have you tried some f.

I'm.

[C]

Man.

[B]

Well, what an episode. No, fool.

[C]

Nah, fool, we can't end it yet, homie.

What about our real voices? And homie, this is my real voice.

[B]

Huh?

[C]

Damn, fool. So like, hey, we're kind of good.

[B]

At this podcast, fool.

[C]

Shit, fool. We should do it again, fool.

[B]

Hey, fool.

[C]

All you gotta do is on.

[B]

A. Like, honestly, I opened up a lot on this podcast and I just feel like. I hope people still like, like, you know what I mean? Like, still view me as the elf that I am, you know?

[C]

I feel like almost like we were meant for something like this. Huh?

[B]

Maybe we should podcast every week for.

[C]

Maybe I'm down for.

[B]

I'm also not down. You know what I mean? For like, it's kind of like.

[C]

It's kind of a lot too, right?

[B]

Yeah, for that's kind of a lot.

[C]

Like, I feel like we have like, things to do.

[B]

We got things too, but it's also really cool. Like, maybe we should do this, you know, it depends.

[C]

It depends what the people want, I guess.

[B]

Hey, comment below. Hearing that, fool. Hey, don't forget to subscribe.

[C]

Subscribe, subscribe.

[B]

Hey, and don't forget, fool, you better like it. Hey, am I good or what? And look, check it. Tune in every week to check us out.

[C]

I like that.

[B]

I like that on the pod.

[C]

Oh, I like that. Yeah. Or else. Or else.

[B]

Well, shake you phone.

[C]

You gonna give him this one?

[B]

That's for the.

[C]

For Mrs. Sancha class.

For sure. Look, guys, we appreciate it. Thank you so much. I hope you guys have a great Christmas. A great Christmas.

[B]

A really good crema.

[C]

A really good Christmas.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

Check us out. Follow us on the Instagram.

And then on our personal accounts too.

[B]

We're gonna get followers.

[C]

Don't forget that one.

[B]

Well, you're meant for this. Hey, drop a comment.

Like your favorite part of the video.

[C]

Don't you like the video? Like it?

[B]

I already said that. Phone. Oh, you don't pay attention, fool. Cut the. Cut the.

[C]

We'll see you guys later, homie.

[B]

All right, well, I guess that's it.

[C]

Catch you Later.

Later.

[D]

Now.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not coming Coming back for he's not. All right. Okay.

[C]

Supposedly, like your budget sucks it up.

[F]

Tis the season of gifting and holes to deck and the who's in who Louville were in love with new tech. Where can we find Sonos and Samsung and Nintendo? They shouted. Would they find it in one place? This they questioned and doubted when suddenly a who yelled, walmart's the place to start. And each who added headphones, TVs and games to their carts. With Walmart, their shopping was done in a flurry. They cried out, who knew? And ordered their gifts in a hurry. Shop the latest tech gifts in the Walmart app.