LA PLATICA — “Cholo Elves Take Over the Pod (and Expose the North Pole!)”

Release Date: December 8, 2025
Hosts: Sebastian Robles (as “Alfredo”), Josh Leyva (as “Elfis Presley”)
Special Guest/Producer: Jess

Episode Overview

This holiday edition of La Plática features regular hosts Sebastian Robles and Josh Leyva in full Cholo Elf character, taking over the pod as “Alfredo” and “Elfis Presley.” The duo ditches their usual identities—claiming to have exiled the “real” hosts—to deliver a comedic, improvisational deep dive into elf life after escaping Santa’s North Pole, their LA adventures, and a series of wild truths about Christmas culture. Employing classic cholo lingo and satire, they blend humor, holiday parody, and cultural references, poking fun at machismo, Elf stereotypes, and the realities of being Latino in LA.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Cholo Elf Takeover and Backstory

• Premise: Alfredo and Elfis, two “cholo elves,” claim to have fled the oppressive North Pole and hijacked the top-rated La Plática podcast for themselves.
• Origin Story:
  • Tired of “being misunderstood” and stuck in an endless cycle of toy-making for a “lactose-offering Santa” (06:00), they crave respect and a new life.
  • “One day we joined together as elves, right? We put our ears together. Yeah. And our bandanas on.” – Elfis Presley (06:32)
  • “It's 2025. Have you not heard of a PlayStation? Done with that.” – Alfredo (07:05)
• Santa’s Leadership: Both express resentment over Santa’s lack of advancement opportunities and his indifference.
  • “I was assistant manager, fool. On the little gold card section… but that ain't enough.” – Elfis (06:00)
  • “I walked up to Santa Claus just to, like, you know, maybe vent a little bit… He said, ‘Too bad, so sad, fool.’” – Elfis (09:02)

2. Assimilation in LA & Fitting in

• Culture Shock: The elves are amazed to find LA full of people dressing like them (“Now we’re not misunderstood like that, per.” – Alfredo, 09:35) but still feel out of place.
• Tattoos and Outfits:
  • Run-through of their signature cholo-elf hybrid fits: dickies, bandanas, “snowflake” Cortezes, and Christmas tattoos.
  • Alfredo: “I got a candy cane right here to represent the North Pole, obviously, because that’s where I was born.” (21:13)
• Tattoos as Storytelling:
  • Elfis: “The mistletoe [tattoo] because I stay kissing myself, ‘cause I'm always under the mistletoe.” (20:15)
  • Alfredo sports a calavera with a Santa hat: “Santa’s dead to me.” (22:00)

3. Brutal Revelations about North Pole and Santa

• Life in the Workshop:
  • Overworked, underappreciated, and freakish for being too tall (“They say out of a million elves, two...are like tall and sh*t,” 13:04).
  • “We tried to be short. We went to the doctor. What is wrong with us? He said we can’t do nothing about it.” – Alfredo (13:17)
• No Pooping:
  • “Us elves, we don’t poop…That’s something a lot of people don’t know about elves.” – Elfis Presley (14:41)

4. Indulgence—and Disappointment—in Human Culture

• Food Differences:
  • Alfredo is thrilled by Mexican food: “When I was in the North Pole, I used to dream of enchiladas, quesadillas…now I know I am the culture.” (16:11)
  • Elfis, however, misses North Pole basics: “I love my sugar cookies…I don’t really f*ck with Mexican food like that, G.” (16:35)
• Real-World Struggles:
  • “The only thing about here is when you work…you have to make money to live. If you don’t, they kick you out.” – Alfredo (17:13)

5. North Pole Party Culture and Naughty vs. Nice

• Holiday Wildness:
  • Christmas at the North Pole is more “EDC than EDC”—the parties, sugar cookie juice, and flying elves outclass human celebrations. (“A bunch of elves partying with sugar cookie juice and blacking out…we started flying because we know what they feed Rudolph.” 25:24)
• Naughty List Theory:
  • “Back in the North Pole, we don’t give a f***. We on the naughty list. It’s like a good thing. You want to be on the naughty list?” (26:31)
  • “Here on Earth, they keep it all in…but you gotta let it out, fool.” (27:10)

6. North Pole Drama: Santa, Mrs. Claus, and Shocking Secrets

• Mrs. Claus Affair:
  • Elfis confesses a secret romantic entanglement with Mrs. Claus: “She used to throw [the ojo] at me...I started walking with more authority…there’s a new papa in town.” (32:11–33:34)
  • “She just wanted a bad boy, homie…She wanted to ride something else besides a reindeer.” (36:02)
  • Ultimately, Mrs. Claus chooses Santa over Elfis, leading to the elves' exile.
• Santa’s Shady Side:
  • In a “Truth or Drink” segment, the elves impulsively reveal, “My boy had an affair with his hyena [Mrs. Claus]” (48:32), exposing North Pole gossip.

7. Reindeer Real Talk

• Deep Dives:
  • The elves confirm the reindeer talk (“Rangers are cool. Vixen—sick ass hyena. Dasher—he be dashing. Gambling problem.” 40:45)
  • “Back at the North Pole, a lot of people be hating on Rudolph because he’s got the most clout…now he’s sipping too much sugar cookie juice.” (39:44–40:17)
  • Cupid, they joke, has gotten into the “North Pole porn industry.”
• Reindeer Stereotypes Revamped:
  • “Prancer is like the Paris Hilton of the North Pole…He’s a diva.” (41:06)
  • “Donner’s a sleeper—good guy, first one there, last to leave. People be sleeping on Donner, fool.” (41:30)

8. Elf Life Lessons & Family

• Looking for Lost Fathers:
  • Elfis shares a “sentimental” memory of being abandoned, presenting his father’s note: “‘Catch you later, ese. Love, papa’…Never caught that fool.” (44:54)
  • “That was like eight years ago, I was four, now I’m thirty-five…You’re good at math.” (45:20–45:32)
• Machismo Satire:
  • Throughout, the characters lampoon the machismo/“hardness” of cholo culture while exposing emotional vulnerability and longing.
  • “I feel like we have something to teach on this podcast—don’t keep it all in, homie…Let it out, wherever it takes you.” (27:19)

9. Truth or Drink: North Pole Sins and Alleged Crimes

• Wild Confessions:
  • They discuss shanking the original hosts with sharp candy canes, workplace crimes (“credit card fraud…and that’s fine, see, homie.” 53:19), and “disappearing” an annoying co-worker named Scrooge.
• Rules Broken:
  • Alfredo refuses to detail his worst North Pole rule break: “I think I’ll just take a drink. I don’t want to expose myself.” (54:06)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Us elves, we don’t poop…That’s something a lot of people don’t know about elves.” (Elfis Presley, 14:41)
• “Back in the North Pole, we don’t give a f*. We on the naughty list. It’s like a good thing.”** (Alfredo, 26:31)
• “She just wanted a bad boy, homie…She wanted to ride something else besides a reindeer.” (Elfis Presley, 36:02)
• “I say, I don’t even know what the—I got—I got a candy cane right here to represent the North Pole…I got a snowflake right here. Because that’s all I used to see back in the day. And like it represents me cold.” (Alfredo, 21:13–21:40)
• “Mrs. Claus…she used to throw it at me…I started walking with more authority…there’s a new papa in town.” (Elfis Presley, 32:11–33:34)
• “I feel like we have something to teach on this podcast—don’t keep it all in, homie…Let it out, wherever it takes you. Maybe it takes you to be naughty. Who gives a f*, homie?”** (Elfis Presley/Alfredo, 27:19)
• “My boy had an affair with his hyena [Mrs. Claus].” (Alfredo, 48:32)
• “That was like eight years ago, I was four, now I’m thirty-five…You’re good at math.” (Elfis Presley & Alfredo, 45:20–45:32)
• “Did you hear my story? Fool, of course I remember…” (Elfis Presley, 38:14, mocking sentimental storytelling)
• “Catch you later, ese. Love, papa. I never caught that fool.” (Elfis Presley, 44:54)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Cholo Elf Takeover Origin Story: 04:00–09:45
• Elf Discontent & Santa’s Dismissal: 06:00–09:05
• Assimilating in LA & Outfits: 17:58–19:39
• Tattoos & Personal Elf Symbolism: 20:13–22:46
• No Pooping Discussion: 14:41–15:11
• North Pole Partying vs. Human Christmas: 25:13–27:10
• Mrs. Claus Romance: 31:46–37:14
• Reindeer Stereotypes & Stories: 39:19–42:15
• Truth or Drink (Scandals & Crimes): 47:05–55:11
• Family Drama & Elfis’s Missing Father: 43:36–45:58
• Holiday Outtro & Reflections: 57:57–59:57

Tone & Style

The entire episode is improvisational, blending classic Chicano/Cholo slang and humor with holiday themes. The tone is irreverent, self-deprecating, and occasionally sentimental, lampooning both North Pole mythology and Latino stereotypes with affectionate parody. The use of Spanglish, mock machismo, and inside jokes updates holiday content for a younger, urban audience.

Summary for Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

In this off-the-wall Christmas special, Sebastian Robles and Josh Leyva—in-character as bad-boy cholo elves—tell their audacious version of elf life after escaping the North Pole. They skewer Santa’s nasty secrets, flaunt their LA fashion sense, reminisce about North Pole mischief, and get real about reindeer drama and culture shock in LA. Blending absurd revelations with genuine moments of vulnerability, La Plática’s cholo elf episode is both a send-up of holiday clichés and a love letter to California Latino culture. If you like your holiday content “feedme” (firm), irreverent, and occasionally touching—this one’s for you, ese.