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Lucy Dacus
This is an iHeart podcast.
Bowen Yang
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Celeste
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Bowen Yang
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Celeste
So if you're ready to meet someone who really gets you and your energy, Bumble is the perfect place to start.
Bowen Yang
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Celeste
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Bowen Yang
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Celeste
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Bowen Yang
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Celeste
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Bowen Yang
Hey, hey, hey. Or should I say ho ho ho. It's me, Matt Rogers. And in the words of another Christmas icon, it's time. I'm back with my new nationwide tour. Matt Rogers, Christmas in December. Yes, it's time to remember when Christmas is. I'm hitting the road all of December with Henry Kabursky and the whole band performing my album have youe heard of Christmas? Along with a bunch of other little surprises. So if you're in la, San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Philadelphia, dc, New York City, Boston, Toronto, Chicago, or yes, Orlando, Florida. I want to see your gorgeous ass. Go to matt rogersofficial.com or head to my Instagram attrogers though and hit the link in my bio. Until then, stream the album, get your look together and get ready to deck the damn halls at a venue near you. Christmas in December. You in my heart. XOXO Santa boy.
Look man, there. Oh, I see my eye. Oh my. Oh, and look over there.
Celeste
Wow. Is that culture?
Bowen Yang
Yes.
Celeste
Goodness.
Bowen Yang
Wow. Las culturistas Ding dong. Las culturistas calling. So I bet you're wondering why I'm.
Celeste
Wearing no sleeves in December even.
Bowen Yang
Well, peek behind the curtain, but I've decided that I want to break you and the guest up. I want to be the Most Wanted man.
Celeste
Well, get ready, get ready. Your face is going to be in that frame for the entirety of the.
Bowen Yang
Song All I Want. Oh, is that. Is that really your face in there?
Celeste
The entire time Celeste and I were having a ball because it was just my dumb little face in that gorgeous frame during this amazing song. Most Wanted man for the entirety of the song. And I. And we were. I was looking at myself in the third person, staring at myself going, that's.
Bowen Yang
What I look like as an object.
Celeste
As an object, no. And do not change the way you've done it.
Bowen Yang
She would never.
Celeste
Our guest is so polite. I hug my guest on the way in. She's going to the bathroom. I'm leaving. She goes, is this the thing where we're not allowed to talk to each.
Bowen Yang
Other Before I'm toying with the idea of every time a new guest comes into Las Cloudresas, Bowen and I are just on our phones like this. Hey, hey, nice to meet you.
Celeste
Imagine. I cannot. One of the highlights of my year slash life was singing with our guest on television on celluloid.
Bowen Yang
Well, that's. Our guest is here to promote our single. I don't want to miss a thing. Live from the Culture Awards.
Celeste
Just kidding.
Bowen Yang
This is a major Grammy winning artist that we have a collab with. High five. High five on you, motherfucker. I'm so fucking proud of you, bitch.
Celeste
I'm so fucking proud of you, bitch.
Bowen Yang
I'm so fucking proud of you. How far you've come from nothing to everything. You came from nothing. When I met you, you were in the dirt.
Celeste
You were in the dirt.
Bowen Yang
You were in the dirt.
Celeste
You took Me to the dirt.
Bowen Yang
You took me to the dirt.
Celeste
We're in our Mary Cosby era. Era. No, our guest is obviously here. She's promoting the Australian Asian legs of her amazing. Forever is a feeling.
Bowen Yang
Touristian Asian legs.
Celeste
Like you. Like me. My Australian Asian legs. And she's ending.
Bowen Yang
Born in Brisbane and Asian.
Celeste
The last tour, technically May 2026. The Asia of America, which is Vancouver.
Bowen Yang
Is that geographically?
Celeste
I think so.
Bowen Yang
Or is that more tonally?
Celeste
Tonally, I think there is. I think there is a huge neighborhood in Vancouver called Richmond, I believe.
Bowen Yang
She knows not to speak.
Celeste
All of the Asians.
Lucy Dacus
No.
Celeste
As if all of our other guests haven't broken in during this moment.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, but that's how you know they're not for real.
Celeste
Forever's a feeling. The archives, the bonus tracks, including a Jim Croce cover.
Bowen Yang
The Jim Croce cover. The Time in a Bottle cover is one of the great covers. But that's. Our guest is just, like, one of the great talents.
Celeste
One of the great talents. One of the most beautiful people I've ever seen.
Bowen Yang
Your crush.
Celeste
My crush.
Bowen Yang
I was so fucking proud of you when you shot your shot. You came from nothing. When I met you, you would have never spoken to a man, woman, or more. You never would have.
Celeste
I never. Well, I literally didn't speak to this person when I first met them. When I. We've talked about this to each other, but we need to talk about it on the podcast. Okay, everyone, please welcome to your ears.
Bowen Yang
Lucy Dacus.
Celeste
Welcome.
Lucy Dacus
Doing everything not to talk and laugh. I don't need to. I just want to watch.
Celeste
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lucy Dacus
This is like, the best seat for just watching you guys talk.
Bowen Yang
I mean, you are right there. This is a great seat, but we are. We're watching and talking with you, the object of BO And Yes. Affection. I know. What do you think? How am I doing?
Lucy Dacus
Great.
Bowen Yang
No, actually, I'm sort of useless when it comes to sexuality with women, though. Like, he's more of a Kinsey.
Celeste
Are you kidding me? What do you make of this? This is a conventionally attractive man.
Bowen Yang
No, no, no. I guess what I mean is, like, if it. If it really got down to it, and you and I were to date. I'm not saying that, like, I know that you're otherwise gay. Spoken for. Spoken for. But I'm just saying, like, I do think that Bowen could do more for you.
Celeste
Wow.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Celeste
I have nothing to add to that.
Bowen Yang
I don't think he's a Kinsey. What? Four?
Celeste
I would say four or five.
Lucy Dacus
You can actually Find out your number. I think it's. Or you just feel.
Celeste
I think it's just a. I think forever is a feeling. I think it's a feeling. Kenzie is a feeling.
Lucy Dacus
We're so linked. I'm like, how am I gonna keep up?
Bowen Yang
Kenzie is a feeling. Might be titled.
Celeste
About.
Bowen Yang
Kenzie is a feeling. Yeah.
Celeste
You know what I mean?
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Celeste
Firm is a feeling, I think. When you were saying this to Janelle, does that mean eternity is ephemeral?
Lucy Dacus
Sure.
Celeste
Okay.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. I feel like when you feel forever, it's momentary.
Celeste
Oh, beautiful.
Lucy Dacus
You said it actually better. I don't know why I repeated it in worse terms.
Celeste
No, I wanted you to confirm it.
Lucy Dacus
I'm confirming.
Celeste
That was a leading question, though.
Bowen Yang
Eternity is ephemeral. That's other alliteration.
Celeste
Other alliteration. Or that's. Is that assonance when it's vowels? No.
Bowen Yang
No, that's a really. That's a you question.
Celeste
Y' all were humanities majors, right?
Lucy Dacus
I dropped out of college.
Bowen Yang
That's hot.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Very queer just to hit the rope with your music.
Lucy Dacus
I'm intimidated that you have a crush on me because you're going to find out something about me and just think that I'm lame. That's the thing about having a crush, right? Is that it's like this place within which you find out something that crashes the whole.
Bowen Yang
No. What do you think is the thing about you that we're going to find out that makes us go, oh, I.
Celeste
Don'T know about it.
Lucy Dacus
So early.
Bowen Yang
Got the.
Lucy Dacus
I'll think about that. And I'll just interrupt what I'm talking about. Talking about to tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bowen Yang
Do you know yours?
Celeste
Sure. This is the reason why I haven't been in a relationship longer than six months is I'm a farter. Oh, I fart a lot. And it's not. It's not good.
Lucy Dacus
You know, this. Oh, that's intimacy, honey.
Bowen Yang
Into me. You see? Remember that Katy Perry song? It exists.
Lucy Dacus
I don't either.
Celeste
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Oh. Anyway, yeah, I've heard the farts. Our bit since college is that it's like an angry Egyptian king.
Celeste
Not a pharaoh, a king.
Lucy Dacus
I don't know what the distinction entails.
Celeste
It'll make sense.
Bowen Yang
It's sort of like this.
Like, it's as if.
Celeste
It is as if it's a very wide sound. It is a wide sound.
Bowen Yang
And it's also. It's really more like this.
You know what I mean?
Celeste
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Remember the popular.
Remember that?
Celeste
Yes.
Bowen Yang
That culture just did it. You remember? Blah Blah, blah. Guys, white guys who were trying to be other races were often doing like.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah, I've seen that. Yeah, I've seen that.
Bowen Yang
I guess it's sort of like wazza culture, but more recent.
Celeste
Were these guys out here in Richmond in high school?
Lucy Dacus
Sure.
I went to like a nerd high school, so I'm sure that was happening.
Bowen Yang
Oh, so you thought you were somebody?
Lucy Dacus
It was Maggie L. Walker, Governor School for Government and International Studies.
Bowen Yang
Excuse me. Why are you president by now?
Lucy Dacus
Nobody who wants to be president is.
Celeste
Okay.
Bowen Yang
Wow, you ate that.
Celeste
I'm going to say something. I'm going to say something controversial to me.
Bowen Yang
Do not leave.
Lucy Dacus
I thought you were raising your hand to say something controversial.
Celeste
I was doing that.
Bowen Yang
I'm going to Bowen. The thing and no one knows is that he's always raising his hand.
Celeste
I'm always raising my hand to speak. Okay, you're right. I. Celeste and I have talked about this a lot and I think you and I have talked about this. Anyone who aspires to political office is. Is. Is sick in the head. I'm sorry. And anyone who wants to be us being show business is sick in the fucking head.
Bowen Yang
No, no, in a different way.
Celeste
In a more benign way.
Bowen Yang
I think it's so beautiful.
Celeste
We'll cut this out.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah, no, it's good.
Bowen Yang
First of all, I don't think it depends largely. Yes, I do think that people who want who. And this is going to come out after all elections.
Celeste
So we're safe. It's the last election ever.
Bowen Yang
Well. Oh, my God.
Celeste
Hey. Sorry. Hey.
Lucy Dacus
Hey.
Bowen Yang
But like, you can be an egomaniac that does want to do Good.
Celeste
Sure.
Bowen Yang
Yes, 100%. That's deeply. A lot of.
Celeste
Still an egomaniac at the end of the day, which is a neutral thing.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Politically minded. You can tell. She went to high school for government because she knows not to collaborate.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
What's your sort of major in high school?
Lucy Dacus
Well, you did. To graduate, you had to take five government courses and you had to take minimum two languages, but they had like 12 languages or something.
Celeste
So then what were your two and five?
Lucy Dacus
I took French and Russian. I am not fluent in Russian and I am okay at French.
Celeste
You can. You can speak a little French, no problem.
Lucy Dacus
It's kind of like going bowling. Like, sometimes I'm on and sometimes I'm off.
Bowen Yang
Right. And that is. Bowling is.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. And pool.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. Oh, pool is.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
When you're good at pool. When you're having a good pool night. Sort of very powerful. And I really mean very sexy.
Lucy Dacus
Powerful. Yeah. No, I was just gonna say just.
Celeste
In an ungendered way. I think being good at pool is sexy.
Lucy Dacus
Yes. Anybody who can make that happen, what is it? What's it connected to in, like, our biology?
Celeste
Like, draping yourself over a surface. Like, it is, like, different position. Like, it is, like the body orienting itself in different ways.
Lucy Dacus
Precision.
Celeste
Precision.
Bowen Yang
Coordination and power, I think.
Lucy Dacus
And power. Coordination and power.
Celeste
Gliding. Lighting.
Bowen Yang
Power.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, yeah. The lighting is huge.
Celeste
Lighting is huge.
Bowen Yang
There is also the. Yeah, it's like very, very overhead. Lucy, you. What's that moment when someone cracks. Cracks a thing, and they know they did well, and they sort of. They sort of come up, they've done it, and then they go, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, they survey it. They're like, yeah.
Lucy Dacus
Yes.
Bowen Yang
You know what I mean?
Lucy Dacus
Even alone. I think people that play pool alone are hotter than people that bowl alone. But who are they?
Celeste
Hot to themselves. That's just interesting.
Bowen Yang
Having a moment bowling alone is.
Lucy Dacus
If you're hot in a forest alone, are you hot? Is that kind of a question?
Celeste
Exactly. That's what I'm asking. Are you? I think we should all. Let's all go around, okay. And ask yourself this. Are you hot to yourself? I don't think. I think. I think, actually, yes, I'm hot to myself in the quiet of my own space.
Bowen Yang
I'm like, yeah, I'm going to be vulnerable in the mirror. I'm a supermodel to myself. I'm so hot to myself. I look in mirrors and I'm like, this is really good. Lucky me. Another day like this. In all pictures, gremlified truly. Burn the. Burn the person in the picture. Get out of the picture.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Get this picture away from me. But in mirrors, it sort of balances out the ego because it's like, I want to destroy myself. Or I'm like, well, I'm amazing. I can't believe it.
Lucy Dacus
Well, you are different. Every day people don't realize this. Talk more about that water distribution. Like, for some people, a monthly cycle is involved. Your brain also and is changing all the time. What you ate will change what you think.
Celeste
This is your friend who's studying public health at Hopkins?
Lucy Dacus
Yes.
Celeste
This is what they're telling you.
Lucy Dacus
Shout out. Elena.
Bowen Yang
Elena, Come on, Elena.
Lucy Dacus
Listen to this.
Bowen Yang
What? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Lucy Dacus
So thank you, legend. Elena is a legend.
Bowen Yang
Whenever I find out someone smart listens to the podcast.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, all my smartest, coolest friends. Listen to this.
Celeste
No, we're telling y', all, I will stop now.
Lucy Dacus
What? No, this is delightful. I'm feeling delight now.
I want to say, though.
Bowen Yang
What?
Lucy Dacus
I. I am very inconsistent person. Sometimes I wake up, I'm like, hell, yeah. Yeah, this rocks. Other times I'm like, I should die. But getting your award for me at lostculturasia's Awards was a real boon.
Bowen Yang
I was like, how did it feel to receive the Sun Award for so fucking hot?
Celeste
For so fucking hot.
Lucy Dacus
It felt amazing. That day. I thought maybe. Maybe I am hot. So thanks for that day.
Celeste
No maybes about it.
Bowen Yang
Confirmed.
Lucy Dacus
Thank you so much.
Celeste
Can I just briefly, quickly mention our first meeting, which was seeing Lucy at Forest Hills? Cause that was a great bill. It was Lucy. It was former guest of the show Waxahachie, Katie Crutchfield and Connor Oberst. And you had just played. And then Celeste and I just, like, got into, like, the little back area where you were just chilling. And then I turn around and I. It was like staring at the sun. I was like, oh. And I got really shy. You know me, I get shy.
Bowen Yang
A lumineer's song played in his heart.
Celeste
Yes. I got so shy. But if it's someone that I love, I shut down. I can't speak.
Bowen Yang
Well, it's true. Like, he. Certain people occupy a space for him where he's completely. He sees, like, some of the most intimidating people in the world. And then certain people. I can list you. Real Housewife of Salt Lake City, Meredith Marks.
Lucy Dacus
Whoa.
Bowen Yang
These are people that have stopped Bowen in his tracks.
Celeste
Company have muted. Muted me.
Lucy Dacus
Wow.
Celeste
Have muted, my ass.
Bowen Yang
You have muted me.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, my God. Anyway, I just want my experience of that.
Celeste
Was that. Was that you. You thought I didn't.
Lucy Dacus
Like, I'm going to do what I saw.
Celeste
Oh, my God.
Bowen Yang
And you do it. Do it.
Lucy Dacus
Because I remember this, too, because I kind of lit up and I was about to be like, hey, we had a moment. You're not wrong.
Bowen Yang
But he turned away.
Celeste
But I turned away.
Lucy Dacus
This is what it was. It was Bowen.
Bowen Yang
You can't do that because you have to accept your Bowen yang. Because you can't.
Lucy Dacus
Which I thought distinctly was like, don't fucking talk to me.
Celeste
No, it was me going full catatonia, nonverbal, non verballia.
Lucy Dacus
I probably. I like to go up and talk to people because everyone actually does like that. To not have to be the first one to do it. So you might as well just fall on the sword and be wrong occasionally and just, like, bounce back. Just, like, grow up.
Bowen Yang
Because it's not the end of the world if. If that doesn't if someone doesn't want.
Lucy Dacus
To talk to you. And also that might have to do again with their mood. And you just be like, cool, you didn't sleep well or you just got bad news. I'm going to walk away.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
But most of the time, people go from that face to smiling and they have this front because everyone is in their own head about, of course, who they are and what they're doing.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
But I was like, I'm gonna leave it be.
Celeste
And now look at us.
Lucy Dacus
And now look at us.
Bowen Yang
Everything worked out. And it literally worked out in a song you guys have on Spotify.
Lucy Dacus
True.
Bowen Yang
Okay.
Lucy Dacus
Think about that highlight.
Bowen Yang
Think there's no greater expression of love than uploading something on covering Aerosmith. Covering Aerosmith together. Did you know the song beforehand?
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. How do you know? How? I don't remember.
Bowen Yang
I'm not knowing the song. I'm just saying it's like not everyone knows every song song. But that is a quite a famous song.
Lucy Dacus
It is.
Bowen Yang
It is, I think the most wonderful song.
Celeste
It's a really good song.
Lucy Dacus
Good song. So fun. I love that I was the low harmony.
Bowen Yang
Y' all got me too, actually.
Celeste
I love that. But. Yeah, but Lucy Deus on a Diane Warren song is. Is so powerful.
Lucy Dacus
I think I'm not doing research that often on which I like because if I like it, it just completed what it was meant to do 100%.
Bowen Yang
It exists in its own in.
Lucy Dacus
In a way that's like antithetical to Yalls podcast because I feel like culture.
Celeste
Loving people we don't know.
Were very, very bad, very illiterate with when it comes to.
Lucy Dacus
That's like, I know some things.
Bowen Yang
I. I mean, I think sometimes my. I actually feel the opposite sometimes. I know a lot of things about things and I'll realize like, oh, I haven't seen that movie. Like, I guess we can reveal now. You know what movie we still haven't watched? The Godfather.
Celeste
Right?
Bowen Yang
We said. We said months ago on the podcast there was one of the most famous movies in American history and we were teasing what what it was. We didn't say. Can confirm now it's the Godfather and we've still not seen it.
Lucy Dacus
Have a movie night we should.
Celeste
Sure.
Bowen Yang
When's the last movie night we had.
Lucy Dacus
Paddington 2 movie night after. We kept it as a reward. After the year of doing stuff together, we were like, and once the Grammys are over, we will watch Paddington 2.
Celeste
Why Paddington 2?
Lucy Dacus
Why not?
Celeste
Why not?
Bowen Yang
I hear it's such a joy.
Lucy Dacus
It's a joy, but it Also is so weird.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
Paddington Goes to Jail.
They have, like, a banner that is like a embroidered banner that says prison suite. Prison.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. Well, that seems misleading.
Lucy Dacus
Who. Who's coming up with this?
Bowen Yang
The justice system.
Lucy Dacus
But, I mean, it's like a delightful little time. And they're like, what is going on?
Bowen Yang
Does he get out of prison?
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Okay. I guess.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah, he's still there. Yeah. I'm sorry. Spoilers on Paddington 2. I haven't seen Paddington 1 or 3.
Bowen Yang
Is there a 3?
Celeste
Paddington goes to Peru.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, yeah.
Bowen Yang
Jail, then Peru.
Lucy Dacus
Jail, then Peru.
Celeste
The Jail to Peru pipeline.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Celeste
That could be titled that, but it's. What is it? Kinsey is a feeling.
Bowen Yang
It's Kinsey is a feeling, which I do really like.
Lucy Dacus
That is good.
Celeste
This is not a test you take. I think we were to go back to that conversation. It is a feeling. And I'm landing myself at a four. Between a four and a five. So between zero and six. Zero being full hat, six being full homo.
Lucy Dacus
Oh.
Celeste
So, like, I mean, what would you say? Where would you say you are a six?
Bowen Yang
I'm a six.
Celeste
Okay.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Celeste
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
I'm just a gay guy. You know what I mean? Like, I'm one of the gay guys.
Celeste
I don't want you to tell us the number. I want you to just think about it, and then once you've confirmed it, just let us know.
Bowen Yang
Cause this would be huge news.
Celeste
No, we're not gonna. This isn't the scoop.
Bowen Yang
Is that your thinking position?
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Celeste
Galaxy brain. Lucy.
Bowen Yang
Galaxy brain. We were top. Did you decide the number?
Celeste
Yeah. You look content with the number.
Lucy Dacus
I feel good about myself.
Bowen Yang
You know yourself.
Celeste
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
What's so cool is you can know yourself and other people don't have to.
Bowen Yang
Oh, I don't know what that's like.
Celeste
That's the opposite of my experience. I don't know myself. And other people seem to seem to know everything about me.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Celeste
Which is not true.
Bowen Yang
Dang.
Celeste
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
So, speaking of knowing things about you and sharing that information, we hope that you, you know, keep anything to yourself you want. But there's a question that's the central question of our podcast. We must ask it.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Bowen Yang
This is Lucy Dacus. What was the culture that made you say culture was for you?
Lucy Dacus
I thought way back.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
And there's early loves in childhood. But I think the thing that really, like, got my spark going is the Muppets.
Bowen Yang
The hermit came to my mind this morning.
Lucy Dacus
How did he do that?
Bowen Yang
I don't know, actually, you know what I was talking about. The. The new Ryan Murphy Show. All's Fair, which is this Kim Kardashian legal drama that has Glenn Close and Sarah Paulson and Teyana Taylor, and I was like the cast of a Ryan Murphy show. You would not be surprised to hear it. Be like, it's Kermit and Meryl Streep. Kermit and Meryl Streep play each other's sex slaves, and that's by night and by day, they're elementary school teachers. That's like a Ryan Murphy show. It's Kermit and Meryl, and it's very raw, it's very sexual.
But it's emotional and very funny.
Celeste
Why am I so seated?
Bowen Yang
You. Of course you'd be seated. And that's the power of Ryan Murphy. I know.
Lucy Dacus
And we're talking Meryl today.
Bowen Yang
Of course, Meryl today. You can't get her from before.
Lucy Dacus
Okay, sure. Yeah.
Bowen Yang
She's not getting any younger, and I hate saying that to everyone.
Lucy Dacus
She is getting more fabulous all the time.
Bowen Yang
100%.
Lucy Dacus
It's just exponential.
Celeste
Of course.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. I love it.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Celeste
What was your first exposure to the Muppets?
Lucy Dacus
I feel like my grandma's house. My grandma would tape things, and she had a bunch of Muppet show tapes. Or maybe before being able to tape things, you just bought the VHS of them and that. And then the Christmas Muppets. What offerings are great.
Bowen Yang
Muppet Treasure Island.
Lucy Dacus
Muppet Treasure Island.
Bowen Yang
We got Cavan Fever. Oh, my. The fit. The fit. I love that you said the villains.
Lucy Dacus
I. You did acknowledge Miss Piggy in one of your awards, which I'm glad, because. Whose mood board does not include Miss Piggy?
Bowen Yang
I don't know. A person.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. There's no one who's not referencing and bowing down to no one I respect. No one I respect. Yeah. No, no, no. There's probably people who. It's not in mind, but their minds are uninteresting.
Bowen Yang
I would agree.
Celeste
Oh, my God. Yes. Well, Miss Piggy is one of those examples in pop culture where she's clearly the amalgamation of, like, all of these old Hollywood tropes, and yet she transcends them. Do you know what I mean? It's like, oh, the sum is greater than the parts.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Celeste
I'm sorry. Like, I'm sorry to whatever the, you know, the Bette Davises or whatever. Like the old Marlena Dietrich. Marlena's. Or it's. Although Miss Piggy hasn't really had, like, a queer moment like Marlena. I feel like Miss Piggy should go full.
Lucy Dacus
That we know Of.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, that's the thing. Miss Piggy, like, she knows so much more about herself than we know. It's actually really good. You're number eight, Miss Piggy, she knows so much more about herself than we know.
Celeste
I just think Miss Piggy. Miss Piggy is. Miss Piggy is allowed to be violent. Would you say this?
Bowen Yang
Hiya.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. There's a lot. 100% that is.
Celeste
I'm not putting you on the same.
Bowen Yang
I'm not.
Celeste
Gotcha.
Lucy Dacus
No, I think. No, I think a lot of. I think violence has a very important place in everyone's life.
Bowen Yang
That's the pull quote.
Lucy Dacus
Thank you.
Bowen Yang
Violence has a very important place. Radical queer artist Lucy Dacus champions violence.
Celeste
And Miss Piggy on.
Bowen Yang
On Lost Culture. Oh, my God.
Lucy Dacus
Some people deserve it.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Celeste
It's so true.
Bowen Yang
Well, every time Miss Piggy said hiya, it was warranted. And I think that was the thing that, like, was really important in the establishment of her is, like, she was not a violent woman.
Celeste
No, she was driven to violence.
Lucy Dacus
No, no. She has priorities, which are her hair and her shoes. And the violence is getting in the way of these things.
Celeste
Of course.
Lucy Dacus
It's, like, very much important to her. Obviously, if it's superseding her excellence in how she looks.
Celeste
Wow.
Bowen Yang
Her number one thing, when she wakes up in the morning, Miss Piggy opens her eyes. Do her eyes ever close?
Celeste
Yes, I've seen her eyes closed.
Lucy Dacus
Blinking is.
Bowen Yang
You're right.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Bowen Yang
So she, she. She does open her eyes and then she thinks, how can I entertain the world? So anything that's going to come between her and her purpose, is that canon.
Lucy Dacus
Or is that your feeling?
Bowen Yang
She famously wants to do a show.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, yeah. She doesn't want to do a show.
Celeste
She's at the Vanity.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, she's at the Vanity. She's beating her face. She's ready to go on.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
You know what I mean? I feel like common refrain set around her is like, almost time for places.
Celeste
Places, mister.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Celeste
Lauren.
Lucy Dacus
I do also feel like the high femme of it all is like. And with Kermit, there's something just. Maybe Miss Piggy hasn't had her queer moment. But I'm like, maybe she is.
Celeste
It's already kind of. There is a queer ring of the romance there. Right? Like, it's. It's interspecies.
Bowen Yang
It is.
Lucy Dacus
Wait, it's. Pigs are queer.
Celeste
If a pig was a frog, I think that's. That's queer moment.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Bowen Yang
Okay. I think if you saw that, I.
Lucy Dacus
Thought you were saying, like, reading, like, Science Daily or Something and telling me like, oh, pigs are gay now. Yeah. Yeah.
Bowen Yang
I would love to find.
Celeste
I'd love to find that there's very smart animals.
Bowen Yang
I think it would have written a pig. That was one of the big famous celebrity facts from the 90s. George Clooney has a pig.
Lucy Dacus
Okay, sweet.
Celeste
Are you gonna visit the pig cafes in Japan when you're there?
Lucy Dacus
I don't even know those exist, but yeah. Now.
Just text me recommendations. I'm starring everything on my map.
Bowen Yang
When are you gonna be there?
Celeste
February.
Lucy Dacus
February 18th. And then a whole week after.
Celeste
You're gonna be there for sumo season, I think for, like, the sumo. I've never been. I want to go so badly.
Bowen Yang
We're gonna just miss it, I guess.
Celeste
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
You're going to be there before January.
Bowen Yang
We're there the second half of January.
Lucy Dacus
Fun.
Bowen Yang
It's Bowen's birthday trip.
Celeste
Very excited.
Lucy Dacus
Cute.
Bowen Yang
Cute. He, Kawaii, even. What? Don't give me a dirty look. What if I make my whole thing Japan when I come back? Like I'm Gwen Stefani. Like I'm Kawaii.
Celeste
You wouldn't be Gwen Stefani. You would be, like, respectful. Well, not.
Bowen Yang
No. No, I wouldn't. Just kidding. Can you imagine? You imagine. Make a cultural appropriation announcement.
Celeste
That's how they even do it back in the day.
Lucy Dacus
That'd be better than what other people are doing. Yeah, People are just embodying it. No thoughts?
Bowen Yang
Yeah. Truly.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Have you been there before?
Lucy Dacus
No. I'm very excited.
Celeste
And then. And. And the group is going.
Friends.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, yeah. We have some friends that are gonna meet us there. The whole band is staying because we're getting over there, so. Why not?
Bowen Yang
Why not?
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Celeste
New tour bus there or no one show. I thought it was multiple.
Lucy Dacus
Well, Australia is all part of lanewayfest, which is like a traveling festival. So they. I think they fly you from city to city. What I really hope is that it's a big plane and all of the artists get to be on the same plane and hang out on the plane.
Celeste
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
But I. I don't know if that's what happens.
Celeste
You can request that.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. For everyone to change their plans. Yeah.
Bowen Yang
On a plane. Are you, like, very social?
Lucy Dacus
No, but people want me to be.
Celeste
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
I just feel in an Uber, like everyone is talking to me. Everyone turns and is like, oh, my God. My childhood trauma is this. My dreams are.
Celeste
We just had this. We were. We were. We were finishing with a swamp tour where it was pouring rain. We were all wet rat, drowned rat. We get an unprompted this man. Lovely man. I'm not saying drivers can't speak, obviously. I don't want that to be the implication here.
Bowen Yang
The life story, though.
Celeste
But it was unprompted, like, well, September of 1978, my family moved from Shreveport to New Orleans. And it was. I was. It was. It was astounding. And we somehow I was hanging on to everywhere. I was like, okay, well, I'm invested now.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. How long was the drive?
Celeste
45 minutes.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, it was up there.
Celeste
And it didn't stop.
Bowen Yang
In the last five minutes? It stopped, but only because I think he had exhausted himself. He had given us every date and event of his life. It really. It really is crazy.
Celeste
I wish. I wish I was that tapped in.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Celeste
Picture this. You're in the city, you've got a free night, and you're craving a night out at the theater. You want something exciting, fresh, but you don't want to spend hours in line or pay an arm and a leg for tickets. What do you do?
Bowen Yang
You pull out your phone, open the Today Ticks app, and just like that, you're booking tickets to a Broadway show or an off Broadway gem. No stress, no hassle, just instant access to the best live theater in town.
Celeste
I am so excited to see Jane Grikowski in Omar. I'm excited to see Tom Hanks and Kelli o' Hara in this world of tomorrow ragtime, which I know Matt just saw it opening night.
Bowen Yang
So good. And I can't wait to see Chess.
Celeste
That's the magic of Today Tix. With exclusive deals and a super easy to use app, getting your hands on tickets has never been easier.
Bowen Yang
And whether you're planning ahead or making a spontaneous decision to catch a show tonight, Today Ticks has got you covered. You can grab tickets for all kinds of performances, from the hottest Broadway hits to the hidden gems you might not have discovered yet.
Celeste
I've really, really appreciated Today Tics when I've been in a bind, when I go, oh, my night freed up. I really need to make this a theater night, because when else am I going to do this? Today Tix has genuinely been there for me in the necessary times.
Bowen Yang
Go to todaytix.com ding dong and use promo code ding dong to get $20 off your first Today Tix purchase. That's promo code dingdong at todaytix t I x.com ding dong todaytix.com Ding Dong what if your wifi wasn't just Wi Fi, but the magic holding your whole holiday together?
Celeste
Well, with Xfinity Wi Fi. It kinda is.
Bowen Yang
Picture this. Powered by their best, most elite, high performing tech, this WI Fi doesn't just connect devices. It keeps the peace at home during the most wonderful and most stressful time of the year.
Celeste
It's kind of like having a little holiday helper. Working behind the scenes, making sure the holiday playlist never skips the beat and the video call with grandma doesn't freeze mid cookie tutorial.
Bowen Yang
It's WI Fi that keeps your whole home connected so you can actually enjoy the holiday magic chaos free. The best present of all.
Celeste
Let me paint a picture for you. A holiday movie marathon is streaming in the living room. Your kid is video chatting their friends from their tablet, and your partner is shopping for too many gifts and cinnamon candles. Ugh. Not this season. Not with Xfinity WiFi.
Bowen Yang
With Xfinity, you can boost the WiFi to your device only so when you go to upload 200 photos of that cat in a cute little Santa hat, you won't see that dreaded failed to upload message. Not this season. Not with Xfinity WiFi. And what if you had a way to make sure family time during the holidays had zero distractions? With Xfinity WiFi, you can pause the kids WiFi and enjoy those special moments together.
Celeste
And if you're wondering what other parental instincts your wifi has during this busy season, Xfinity protects your kids when they're online, so you know they're safe, even if you're busy making cocoa or taste testing cookies.
Lucy Dacus
What?
Bowen Yang
Someone has to make sure there's exactly the same amount of chocolate chips in each cookie. And what if your wifi could proactively fix issues before they even happen? Well, that's exactly what Xfinity WiFi does. Like the friend who shows up with extra wrapping paper, bows, and tape before you even realize you're out. Because, let's be honest, you never buy enough.
Celeste
Bottom line, Xfinity WI Fi isn't just smart, it's brilliant. And during the holidays, that brilliance, that's a gift. Xfinity. Imagine that.
Bowen Yang
Okay, so you know how the world is a chaotic, swirling ball of total stress right now? Well, we have a new Hulu show from Ryan Murphy that will give you the much needed break from reality. And whether you know it or not, you are already completely obsessed. It's called all's fair. And Ms. Kardashian plays Alora Grant, the most in demand divorce attorney in Los Angeles. Get it? It's All's Fair. As in All's fair in love and war. And she's a divorce attorney. Love it. Now let's talk ensemble. Because Allura does not go it alone. She breaks off from a crusty male dominated law firm to start her own legal coven with some absolute forces of nature. Naomi Watts, Niecy Nash, Betts, Teyana Taylor. And Glenn Close. Yeah, hello, Glenn Close. And of course, you need a villain. So say hello to Sarah Paulson as the nemesis. And these ladies are brilliant, complicated, fearless. And when they all come together, nothing can stop them. I'm talking about the lawyers on the show and the actresses playing them, by the way. But hey, if you're thinking this will be all courtroom drama and no drama drama. Relax, Elora. That's Kim's character has plenty of twists and turns in her personal life. Her professional life crashes into her personal one. And oh, so how does this super lawyer fix her own mess? With a little help from her besties, of course. So this series has it all. Scandalous secrets, high stakes courtroom drama, more shifting alliances than Kim's other shows. Some OMG Twists and friendships that rise above it all. And of course, everything is gonna look amazing. It's got some unapologetic glam, A work hard, play harder lifestyle. Every scene just sparkles. Everybody makes compromises in their lives. Lame men, underpaying jobs. Well, stop. Just stop. And never settle for anything less than fabulous when it comes to your next streaming obsession. All's fair now streaming on Hulu and on Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. Drama guaranteed. Okay, so you want your master's degree. You know you can earn it.
Celeste
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Bowen Yang
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Celeste
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Bowen Yang
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Celeste
You want it? Come get it at apu.
I have a question for you because I've been thinking about this conversation that you've had with Janelle a lot, especially in this like, go to the party sense, like self care culture is sort of insulating us in a way that maybe is not. That is precluding like actual connection with other people. Like, so let's say people are talking at you or on the plane. Everyone wants to talk to you. At what point do you go, I should reach out and connect. I should put out my own feelers. At what point are you doing that versus Well, I just want to be in my own space.
Lucy Dacus
I think as a rule, I have the over the headphone noise canceling headphones on with nothing happening in there at a point until I am seated. And I do most of my listening to music for the first time on a plane because I'm super focused. Or like, movies always make me cry on a plane. But I have had people, like, tap me on the shoulder, talk to me. I put it back. Tap me on the shoulder. There was this guy that tapped me on my shoulder and I was like, yeah. And he was like, people don't connect enough these days.
Celeste
Which he's not wrong.
Lucy Dacus
And I was just like, yeah. And it was like, I really was looking forward to and planning on listening to something. So I hope you have a great flight, but I'm gonna go back. You know, I tried to be like, polite. And then he did it again.
Bowen Yang
No.
Lucy Dacus
And I was like, okay, here we go. Six hours. And he told me some of the worst stuff I've ever heard. He. He, like, he works for the military and he loads bombs onto planes. And he's like, I love my job because I can see the effect of my work in the paper the next day.
Bowen Yang
What?
Lucy Dacus
And I was like, I want you to answer this. How do you sleep at night?
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
I want you to tell me this isn't rhetorical. How do you sleep at night?
Celeste
What did he say?
Lucy Dacus
And he was just like, I'm just proud of defending my country. And I was just like, I think that what you're contributing to is morally reprehensible. And I hope that the weight of people's lives weighs you down at some point, and all I can hope for you is change. But also, like, he had. He's like, look at my phone background. And it was a like, big chested, topless woman in Daisy Dukes fishing. And I was like, oh, is that your girlfriend? He's like, no, that. I'm aspiring to that. Yeah.
Bowen Yang
He's mad at that.
Lucy Dacus
Like, he was just at me, like, trying to get something, like, from me. And I. But what he got was like, I think that you are a terrible person. Yeah. And I think that you're a source.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
I don't know if. Do people with sour hearts want to be seen?
Bowen Yang
Or like, do they think that there is something to people like that being like, yeah, get into it. Let's get into a back and forth with me. I want to be, like, challenged. You know what I mean? Like, it's it.
Lucy Dacus
And in a way, I'm like, I would like, if you Want to be challenged? Are you opening a door? Because, like, if you are, if you have to put words to what you're doing, or is that going to change something for you? I don't know. We don't. We don't get to change people. Right.
Celeste
But I don't think he. I don't think he wanted to be challenged. I think people like that I'm going to project and surmise people who like murder. Well, yeah. Are people who like something is like, a little bit. Their internal sense of morals are kind of all over the fucking.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Celeste
Let's just say.
Lucy Dacus
And so what he, He. He works out every day. And the funniest thing he said was, I feel my muscles atrophy as I'm sitting here.
Bowen Yang
Because he wasn't actively working out.
Lucy Dacus
He had me, like, he loves to.
Bowen Yang
Do it that much. Oh, he had you touch his arm?
Lucy Dacus
Yeah, He. He takes whatever that thing is that helps you keep water weight.
Celeste
Creatine.
Lucy Dacus
Creatine. Oh, okay.
Celeste
Or whatever.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah, yeah.
Bowen Yang
We take it from behind the table and start putting it into our body.
Lucy Dacus
Everyone, like a bunch of hot girls I know are taking creatine.
Bowen Yang
Creatine's a thing.
Celeste
It's a thing. And I've started taking it a little bit and it has helped with, like, some. Some bulk or some muscle.
Lucy Dacus
Amazing.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. You would love this guy. It sounds like you love this guy.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah, yeah.
Celeste
He's on my phone. Background.
Bowen Yang
I'm inspiring you there.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Do you think when he looks in the mirror, he thinks he's hot?
Celeste
Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely. I mean, so then that's an example of, like, you're putting your own sort of mechanisms at work in terms of connection. And this is someone that you're like, I've learned what I should know about you, and I've made an assessment that, like, this is. These are the limits of my connection.
Lucy Dacus
Well, even, like, it is still connecting when you are learning someone that you dislike and that's informative, too, it can be like a homing device for your own values.
Celeste
Totally.
Lucy Dacus
Or just like, wow, I guess I do know who I am because there are people like that, you know? Yeah. Like. And also, it's just, like, heartbreaking.
Celeste
I know.
Lucy Dacus
I'm like your life.
One day, hopefully, you will find that it was for nothing and meaningless. This is supposed to be fun. I'm sorry. We can talk about culture.
Bowen Yang
This is culture, unfortunately.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. Pardon?
Celeste
No, this guy, like, is direct. Like, this guy's day is so directly linked to people's, like, mass death.
Bowen Yang
Well, those people are on planes. I will say, like, I don't know if you thought we were on a plane.
Celeste
Those people are on planes.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
I'm always fascinated by just how many people are watching Fox News on the plane. Like, there was a guy in front of us on the plane yesterday who was watching Fox News, and then he watched the film Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, which I can say, I know the title of the movie just by seeing the actresses on screen. It was Frances McDormand and Amy Adams. I am again, a Kinsey Six. Gay Kinsey is a feeling I feel strongly gay.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Bowen Yang
And I was watching it and I was like, wow, what is the fox news to Ms. Pettigrew lives for a Day pipeline? But then a lot of gay guys are Republicans. You hear about Grindr crashing out at the conventions. These guys are gay. They love Ms. Pettigrew lives for a day. They live for Frances McDormand and they're gay and they're voting against us. They're going home, they're having sex in the butt, and they're coming to work and they're sending out bombs.
Celeste
Like, for that guy to be into Big titted Fisher Girl.
It's horseshoe theory to something.
Lucy Dacus
It's a little suspicious that you really had to show me that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Celeste
It's like gender maxing in a way that is like, huh. You know what I mean?
Bowen Yang
Yeah. It has to be rooted in, like, look how much of a man I am. Feel my arm. Look at my bombs. Wanna see what I wanna fuck. Ain't nothing more CIS than this. Like, it's just like, it's. It's. It's a. It's an Olympic feat. And to do this on a plane when someone is captive.
Celeste
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Is also very.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Well, I'm like.
Lucy Dacus
That's also like, like pussy behavior to have a captive audience.
Celeste
Of course.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, yeah. I can say whatever. I'm like, you just. You just. You are. I'm powerless in the situation. And that's what's fun.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. But then. But then what's. What's great is here you are telling. Telling the story, and now we all actually intrinsically know exactly what this guy looks like. I love when people just don't know who they're talking to or dealing with or they forget. Like, for. Have you. Have you listened to the Lily Allen album yet?
Lucy Dacus
No, I would really like to.
Bowen Yang
What's so shocking is so, you know, I won't name names, but it's ostensibly about her very famous ex husband and this guy marries Lily Allen.
Celeste
Right.
Bowen Yang
Like, some of these people will fully marry or start dating these, like, really, like, evocative singer songwriters. And then at some point, they'll forget and they'll do the craziest shit to them. And then you get this album written about you and your choices, and it's like, yeah, I guess you just forgot who you married.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Like, what is. And then people will be like, ooh, the whole she wrote a song about me thing. Da, da, da. Like, that happens in culture. It's like, you. But you knew who you were dealing with in the beginning. An artist.
Celeste
It wasn't a reveal. It wasn't a job.
Bowen Yang
No, it wasn't a reveal. And if it is a reveal, then, wow, you really didn't value the relationship that you were in or see the person.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. It's a fucking. You really got to get right with yourself before dating an artist. I think you're going to get depicted, and you should have a life that you would be proud of being depicted 100%.
Bowen Yang
So here, and then here you are, like, with another artist. How do you feel about being depicted? Like, have you guys talked about that?
Lucy Dacus
Yeah, for sure. I mean, we like it.
Bowen Yang
We like it.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah, we like it.
Celeste
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
Because we like each other. Right. And I would say, for the most part, we are right with ourselves. But I. If I write something, I'll show it and be like, are you cool with this? And then usually answer is yes. And if the answer is like, ah, this detail feels a little like something or other, like, we'll just talk about it.
Celeste
Guess what? That's a relationship.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. You can just talk about it.
Celeste
You can just talk about it.
Bowen Yang
Valuing the other person for holistically who they are, because probably one of the big reasons you fell in love is because of that talent and that gift and that access to your emotions and being able to channel that and funnel that into your work, which connects with so many people.
Lucy Dacus
I love your brain. Like, if you're feeding me through your brain, like, what? That's such a privilege.
Celeste
Favorite Muppet.
Lucy Dacus
Favorite Muppet. I mean, it is Miss Piggy.
Celeste
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
Gonzo rocks, obviously. Yeah.
Bowen Yang
What do you think of Fozzie Bear?
Lucy Dacus
I love Fozzie Bear. Do you not like Fozzie Bear?
Celeste
I think you're a Fozzie Bear.
Bowen Yang
Maybe that's what it is. Like, I know I am Fozzie Bear.
Lucy Dacus
So you see yourself.
Bowen Yang
Do you think I'm Fozzie Bear?
Celeste
You're a little bit Fozzie, a little bit Gonzo. A little.
Bowen Yang
A little bit.
Celeste
A little bit piggy, for sure.
Lucy Dacus
Also, Pepe the King Prawn. Do you know?
Celeste
Yeah, of course.
Lucy Dacus
The little hair going everywhere.
Celeste
Just the eye, the mouth.
Lucy Dacus
Swedish Chef.
Bowen Yang
Swedish Chef is great. I like Beaker.
Lucy Dacus
Beaker.
Celeste
So, yeah, I'm Bunsen. He's Beaker for sure.
Lucy Dacus
How are y' all?
Celeste
Not Peggy and Kermie.
Lucy Dacus
No, no.
Celeste
Bertnerie.
Lucy Dacus
No, the guy. The Hecklers.
Celeste
Oh, yes. Statler and Waldorf.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Is that your position?
Lucy Dacus
Like, is this not your box at.
Bowen Yang
The theater, by the way? You want to know my favorite joke of all time?
Lucy Dacus
No. Please tell you.
Bowen Yang
It's at the end of and Rest in peace, the Muppets 3D show in Disney World. And the Statler and Waldorf are in their little. I call them the Lincoln seats. They're up. They're up in the box.
And the show is over. And they're like, we gotta go. And then the other one goes, we can't. We're bolted to the seats. Ho, ho, ho, ho. And I was just like, I loved that they really broke the fourth wall there, because they are puppets. They are bolted to the seats. They're never leaving. And then the horror crept in because I realized they're never leaving.
Celeste
They're never leaving.
Bowen Yang
Well, now they are, because they demolished the building.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, that's why, Rip. Okay.
Bowen Yang
I was like, they're making a new Monsters, Inc.
Lucy Dacus
The dream died.
Celeste
The dream died, Rip.
Lucy Dacus
The dream.
Bowen Yang
Well, the dream lives on with the Monsters, Inc.
Celeste
Yes.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Bowen Yang
Also, don't worry about the Muppets. They're moving to Rock and Roller Coaster. I hate a lot of what I know.
Celeste
You know what I mean?
Lucy Dacus
That was real.
Celeste
That was real.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, my God. Well, this is. This is a news outlet, frankly.
Bowen Yang
He keeps up with it.
Celeste
Yeah, I don't. I say that with no judgment.
Bowen Yang
I know. Sometimes I'll come on here and I'll just use an opportunity for the podcast to, like, break news and theme parks to the readers.
Lucy Dacus
Are you theme park. You love theme parks?
Celeste
Yes.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, I love them in, like, an. It. It didn't start out ironically. Now it's kind of ironic. It's just one of those industries that I keep up with. It's like. It's like one of my synapse fires when I'm finding out what's being built.
Lucy Dacus
Do you know anything about Kings Dominion in Virginia? Yeah, because that was. That was my haunt.
Bowen Yang
Was it?
Lucy Dacus
That was like some of my early moments without parents.
Bowen Yang
Was going to Kings.
Lucy Dacus
Was going to Kings Dominion. That. That's a Whole culture in and of itself.
Bowen Yang
Talk to us about that.
Lucy Dacus
Well, like, the parents think, oh, they'll be safe because it's all. We're in the parking lot and they can't get out. And there. Drugs at the park. Not to sound like a conservative.
Celeste
No, no, no.
Lucy Dacus
Talking head, but, like, there's drugs in the park. Everybody's like. Like, first people, like, smoking weed. Like, people are hooking up at the park. All of the regular childhood meannesses that have to come out are happening at the theme park. Yeah, the wave pool. Never touch a wave.
Celeste
No. Never get into the wave pool.
Lucy Dacus
Never get in the wave pool.
Celeste
Why is there a wave pool at King's Dominion at a medieval themed park?
Lucy Dacus
It's not medieval, but kings. You would think so that it's King's Dominion.
Celeste
What's the.
Lucy Dacus
Why have I never. There's nothing general. There's sections. There's like the kids area. That was Peanuts.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
There's like a Nickelodeon area. Maybe there's not any more. There's like kind of a jungle area. The anaconda and the volcano.
Bowen Yang
That one has a couple good roller coasters.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
King's Dominion.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
And then there's like the section of, like, just new. Like, oh, this is the tallest. Whatever. This is the fastest fall. And yeah, that's just. There's no theme. It's just. Yeah, I guess.
Bowen Yang
Chaos.
Celeste
Chaos.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Celeste
Now you would. It was your haunt. Like, you would be skipping Russian to go to King's Dominion during the day or this is like summer hang. Like, where. Like, how would you. How would you find yourself there?
Lucy Dacus
It was mostly middle school and definitely, like, kids had birthday parties. Weirdly, the pizza at Kings Dominion.
Celeste
Amazing.
Lucy Dacus
Was different than all the other pizza I've ever had. It's like kind of puffy. Puffy people, like, kind of puffy. Like, it was good. Like, I wish.
Bowen Yang
It's kind of slutty.
Lucy Dacus
Like, it sounds really bad, but it's kind of good.
Bowen Yang
So puffy in terms of, like, the cheese was rich or puffy?
Glutenous.
Lucy Dacus
As glutenous as.
Celeste
Yeah, yeah.
Lucy Dacus
And yeah, the cheese was probably bad, but I probably liked it. God, yeah.
Bowen Yang
Remember being that age and being like, I'm gonna go eat some puffy pizza right off these rides and treat my.
Lucy Dacus
Body like ice cream. Isn't that their tag?
Bowen Yang
Yes, because they turned out to not really be the future of ice cream. Huh. Oh, because where is Dip and Dots now?
Lucy Dacus
I mean, I did have Dip and Dippin Dots at Niagara Falls recently, and that was Cool. I recommend this entire experience, but you have to go on the Canadian side. Maiden of the Mist, lady of the Mist. Made of the Mist.
Celeste
Made of the Mist. Which is. Have you done this as a child? I've not. I've not done this in my adult.
Lucy Dacus
It's actually.
So cool.
Celeste
It's an incredible.
Lucy Dacus
It's like one of the wonders of the world. But to look at it, it's great. But made of the mist. Like you're in the water. Like your whole vision whites out. Like there you. It's very sublime. Like it's. My whole band were like, we'll do this because we're on tour. And then everyone came out like kind of changed and odd by it.
Celeste
Which you don't have anymore. Awe is harder. The sublime is harder and harder to reach.
Bowen Yang
The sublime is harder to. And harder to reach. Yes. Which one is that?
Celeste
That's real culture number number two.
Bowen Yang
The sublime is harder and harder to reach. He defined awe the other day. Can you do it now?
Celeste
Aw.
The things that you. The ingredients you need for awe. Our psychological safety, which of course we don't have anymore because we are constantly surveilled. We're watching ourselves in the third person. That leads to more self judgment and self whatever. Just like. Just like self modulation of like behavior. Right. Like I. I never want to be perceived. I. Over the years I've wanted to be perceived less and less because I'm perceiving myself all the time every week and I'm like, I less of that please. Anyway, you need psychological safety. You need.
Connection and Oz. Best experience with other people.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Celeste
And I forget the third thing, but it's these things that like are fraying at the edges with the advancement of certain technologies.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Celeste
And so I'm so going to Niagara Falls. Made in the Mist. Sounds about right. Sounds like with your bandmates there's a.
Lucy Dacus
Bit of awe there.
Bowen Yang
What if your WI fi wasn't just WI fi, but the magic holding your whole holiday together?
Celeste
Well, with Xfinity WI fi it kinda is.
Bowen Yang
Picture this. Powered by their best, most elite high performing tech, this WI fi doesn't just connect devices. It keeps the peace at home during the most wonderful and most stressful time of the year.
Celeste
It's kind of like having a little holiday helper working behind the scenes. Making sure the holiday playlist never skips the beat and the video call with grandma doesn't freeze Mid Cookie tutorial.
Bowen Yang
It's wifi that keeps your whole home connected so you can actually enjoy the holiday magic Chaos free the Best present of all.
Celeste
Let me paint a picture for you. A holiday movie marathon is streaming in the living room. Your kid is video chatting their friends from their tablet, and your partner is shopping for too many gifts and cinnamon candles.
Bowen Yang
Ugh.
Celeste
Not this season. Not with Xfinity WiFi.
Bowen Yang
With Xfinity, you can boost the WI fi to your device only, so when you go to upload 200 photos of that cat in a cute little Santa hat, you won't see that dreaded failed to upload message. Not this season. Not with Xfinity WI Fi. And what if you had a way to make sure family time during the holidays had zero distractions? With Xfinity WI Fi, you can pause the kids WI Fi and enjoy those special moments together.
Celeste
And if you're wondering what other parental instincts your WI Fi has during this busy season, Xfinity protects your kids when they're online, so you know they're safe, even if you're busy making cocoa or taste testing cookies.
Lucy Dacus
What?
Bowen Yang
Someone has to make sure there's exactly the same amount of chocolate chips in each cookie. And what if your WI Fi could proactively fix issues before they even happen? Well, that's exactly what Xfinity WI Fi does. Like the friend who shows up with extra wrapping paper, bows, and tape before you even realize you're out. Because, let's be honest, you never buy enough.
Celeste
Bottom line, Xfinity WI Fi isn't just smart, it's brilliant. And during the holidays, that brilliance, that's a gift. Xfinity. Imagine that.
Bowen Yang
Okay, so you know how the world is a chaotic, swirling ball of total stress right now? Well, we have a new Hulu show from Ryan Murphy that will give you the much needed break from reality. And whether you know it or not, you are already completely obsessed. It's called all's fair. And Ms. Kardashian plays Allora Grant, the most in demand divorce attorney in Los Angeles. Get it? It's All's Fair. As in all's fair in love and war. And she's a divorce attorney. Love it. Now, let's talk ensemble, because Alora does not go it alone. She breaks off from a crusty male dominated law firm to start her own legal coven with some absolute forces of nature. Naomi Watts, Niecy Nash, Betts, Tiana Taylor, and Glenn Close. Yeah. Hello, Glenn Close. And of course, you need a villain, so say hello to Sarah Paulson as the nemesis. And these ladies are brilliant, complicated, fearless. And when they all come together, nothing can stop them. I'm talking about the lawyers on the show and the actresses playing them, by the way. But hey, if you're thinking this will be all courtroom drama and no drama drama. Relax, Elora. That's Kim's character has plenty of twists and turns in her personal life. Her professional life crashes into her personal one. And oh, so how does this super lawyer fix her own mess? With a little help from her besties, of course. So this series has it all. Scandalous secrets, high stakes courtroom drama, more shifting alliances than Kim's other shows, some OMG twists and friendships that rise above it all. And of course, everything is gonna look amazing. It's got some unapologetic glam. A work hard, play harder lifestyle. Every scene just sparkles. Everybody makes compromises in their lives. Lame men underpaying jobs. Well, stop. Just stop. And never settle for anything less than fabulous when it comes to your next streaming obsession. All's fair now. Streaming on Hulu and on Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers terms apply. Drama guaranteed. Okay, so you want your master's degree. You know you can earn it.
Celeste
But life gets busy. The packed schedule, the late nights. And then there's the unexpected.
Bowen Yang
Well, American Public University was built for all of it.
Celeste
With monthly starts and no set login times, APU's 40/ flexible online master's programs are designed to move at the speed of life.
Bowen Yang
Start your master's journey today at apu Apus Edu.
Celeste
You want it? Come get it at apu.
Bowen Yang
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Celeste
It's more than travel. It's the membership that flies, dines, streams, rides, and arrives with you. Every great journey deserves a great story. And when you have a membership that's as unique as you are, there is no telling how your story will unfold or where that journey will take you to next.
Bowen Yang
SkyMiles is the membership that will be here for all your big and small moments. The membership that's there for every solo adventure or family trip. The membership that comes with the power of partnership from brands you love. The membership that moves with you. Learn more@delta.com SkyMiles.
Maybe this is even why this came up. We recently went on an Alligator Swamp tour. Now where?
Lucy Dacus
Florida.
Bowen Yang
We were in New Orleans. So before you ask, no, it was not with Lana Del Rey's husband.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Bowen Yang
We thought about it.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Bowen Yang
But we would have had to travel an extra hour. An extra hour to get.
Lucy Dacus
He's. He's doing that job still.
Celeste
He's doing that job still.
Lucy Dacus
Wow. I can't imagine how his job has changed.
Bowen Yang
Lana must be big for you.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah, she's a great songwriter.
Celeste
She.
Lucy Dacus
She DM'd me to open for her. I don't know if people realize this, but the, like, Norman Rockwell tour, a lot of those shows she booked herself. Yeah. Wow. Like diy. But she, like, emailed the venues and was like, hello, I'm Juana del Rey. I would like to come through this venue on this date. I feel nervous. I'm always nervous talking about other people.
Bowen Yang
No, no, no.
Celeste
This is.
Bowen Yang
I think I feel like, documented people can know this. So this is documented.
Lucy Dacus
And she DMed a ton of people only days prior. And I ended a tour in Michigan, and she was like, do you want to open in Chicago in two days?
Bowen Yang
And sick.
Lucy Dacus
We were like, yeah, be there in a sec.
Celeste
And you happened.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Oh, my God.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Celeste
That's awesome.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, I feel like that. That's a good one to one.
Celeste
But we. Do you think we experienced the sublime?
Bowen Yang
Well, because we did.
Celeste
Because, yes, we.
Bowen Yang
Again, it was not Mr. Del Rey, which actually was fine because I was like, you know, maybe we should just keep that lore separate. So we had this amazing man. His name was Captain Kelly. And we get out into the swamp, and just to see, like, a wild alligator sort of swim up like a dog. Like, literally, like, the airboat would stop and the alligator would swim up to us and know that it meant he was gonna get fed by Captain Kelly.
Lucy Dacus
Like, panting, tail wagging, like, and literally swimming up.
Bowen Yang
And then it was kind of adorable. Sweet and cute. Yeah. Because it would just sit there with its mouth open like this.
And the captain would feed it, and someone goes, well, he's so nice. How long have you known this alligator? And the guy was like, nah, he would get me. He would bite me and get me. If I'm lucky.
Celeste
I still have my fingers.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, I'm still on my fingers. Because he was sort of saying, like, it seems like I have a relationship with this reptile, but it still.
Celeste
The alligator, it would kill him.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
This was awe for me, like, watching the alligator, that it was over 12ft long.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, my gosh. That's two long guys.
Celeste
That's two long.
Lucy Dacus
That's two really long guys.
Celeste
Or three.
Bowen Yang
Two tall or three short guys. And it was thick. And then Captain Kelly tapped the back of the carapace.
Celeste
Was that the carapace? Right.
Bowen Yang
Is that the word?
Celeste
Okay.
Bowen Yang
Were you trying to define the skill?
Celeste
I think so.
Bowen Yang
I wanted to get out of the.
Lucy Dacus
First person in the room to ask what a carapace is.
Celeste
Anyway, it sounds like you nodded as. Just to confirm the appropriate terminology.
Bowen Yang
This is when you revealed that your high school was sort of like all reptile.
Celeste
High school alligator. High school alligators.
Bowen Yang
The back.
Celeste
Yeah, the back.
Bowen Yang
But he tapped on it, and it was hollow and hard. Incredibly hollow and hard. Of the boat? No, of the back of the alligator's barracked racket. The carapace. And then he tapped. So he tapped the. The boat. And it sounded the same as when he tapped the back of the alley.
Celeste
Like the hull of the. Yeah, yeah.
Lucy Dacus
Wait, what?
Celeste
Basically, the alligator's back was really hard.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, okay.
Celeste
Okay. Yeah.
Bowen Yang
But then they had us hold the baby alligator, and I was so shook because it just felt like a little sack of meat.
Lucy Dacus
Was it kind of like.
Celeste
Yeah, it was Teehee.
Bowen Yang
It was Tehimo. It was Tee he Mode. And then Captain Kelly tried to scare me because I was scared. I was the most skittish around holding the alligator. That's, like, one thing about me. Like, I don't need to touch the animals.
Lucy Dacus
And yet you went out of your way to experience and experienced awe.
Bowen Yang
Having the experience of awe visually was one thing. But then, like, all right, everyone, now we're going to hold an alligator. Like, I don't know.
Celeste
You.
Bowen Yang
You sort of.
Celeste
I liked the alligator.
Bowen Yang
You liked it?
Celeste
It, yeah.
Lucy Dacus
Would you hold a koala?
Bowen Yang
No, I don't think so.
Lucy Dacus
Really?
Bowen Yang
I don't need to hold any animals. I really don't.
Lucy Dacus
Would you pet an animal?
Bowen Yang
Yes, I would. I. I would. I would say I'm pretty good with domestic animals, but, like, in terms of, like, animals at the zoo and stuff, like, I don't need to pet it. Like, I don't need to feel the scales. Like, you know.
Celeste
Yes.
Lucy Dacus
The distance.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, totally.
Celeste
Right?
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. You don't really get to ask because they can't really tell you yes or no.
Celeste
Right.
Bowen Yang
It also felt like everyone else did it. So then if I'm the one person who doesn't do it, it's like, I guess, like, yeah, give me the. Give me the alligator.
Lucy Dacus
There's this huge thing where musicians go and hold koalas when they tour Australia.
Celeste
Yes.
Lucy Dacus
Have you done this?
Celeste
I've done this, yeah.
Bowen Yang
I'm not a musician.
Lucy Dacus
Okay. But you are a great singer. Let's talk about this. Both of you have incredible voices.
Bowen Yang
That's kind of you.
Lucy Dacus
But you stand in line, and on either side of the line, our koalas asleep, because they sleep, like 20 hours a day, and they just wake up to eat bamboo and it makes them high and they go back to sleep.
Bowen Yang
It makes them high.
Lucy Dacus
Makes them high.
Celeste
Bamboo. The eucalyptus.
Lucy Dacus
Eucalyptus. That's what. Thank you.
Bowen Yang
So they're drug addicts.
Lucy Dacus
They're drug addicts, yes. Yeah. They're just spouting out. Yeah. They all have chlamydia. So it's this, like, not hub sanctuary for the koalas. I guess. The sanctuary is a hub.
Celeste
Yes.
Bowen Yang
But they're like the Aerosmith of animals because.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Bowen Yang
Because they're drug addicts and they fuck. It's actually really culture number 30.
Celeste
Koalas are the Aerosmith of animals because.
Bowen Yang
They'Re drug addicts and they fuck.
Lucy Dacus
How are you guys?
Bowen Yang
Like. Also, I want to tell you that Aerosmith used to be on Rock and Roller Coaster, and now they're getting replaced with the Muppets, which is probably why they were top of mind for that. Rule of culture. Yeah. So they are out of Rock and Roller Coaster, but they're in.
Celeste
The Rules of Threads are converging. Okay, but so then does this mean. Well, you've. You've gone.
Lucy Dacus
I held. I held a koala. And you're like, oh, it's gonna be cute and cuddly. But then you get there and their claws are like this, and they. They have heft to them. And I'm, like, holding this koala and it, like, looks at me like. Like in the eyes, and I'm like. I'm holding, like, a dinosaur or something. Like, I can't believe I'm touching. Touching history. Like, wow, koala, you're famous. Like, everyone know.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, you are. You're so significant.
Lucy Dacus
Right to me. And then they're like. And on the way out, if you want to go touch some kangaroos, go ahead and they just open a gate unsupervised. You can go touch a hundred kangaroos. You wait in line for the koala, and then as if they don't matter, they just are like, by the way, there's a bunch of kangaroos and they hand you food and you can go and, like, hug and touch and hang out with them for as long as you want. Which I'm like, I would. I would stand in line for you.
Celeste
You would stand in line for Karoos. But this is the reason why kangaroos are sort of in an open pen without supervision is because they are basically rodents in Australia. They want to get rid of them. They are selling kangaroo meat at the grocery store.
Bowen Yang
I can't stand the way they reproduce. Have you seen it?
Lucy Dacus
No.
Bowen Yang
Essentially, too little to eat.
Lucy Dacus
My stomach kind of hurts, though. You're gonna tell me something weird.
Bowen Yang
Go ahead first. And Lucy Dacus just pukes everywhere. Our first guest to throw up all over the white table. Oh, my God. Lucy Dacus dressed up. Lucy Dakis, you threw up all over the white table.
Celeste
Don't tell us about the kangaroos.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, look it up. I don't even want to get into it because here's one thing that will happen if you throw up. I will throw up. Should we like to stop talking about Rachel? Forget it.
Lucy Dacus
Forget it.
Bowen Yang
She takes the pictures and she's going to throw up. Bowen Yang is going to start farting.
Celeste
I start farting, shitting, someone breaks up with me again.
Bowen Yang
No one's broken up with you because I swear.
Celeste
Okay, fine, fine, fine. We're off.
Bowen Yang
No one's broken up with you because of the far.
Celeste
They've not said as much.
Lucy Dacus
Maybe it's hard to say.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, maybe it's hard to say.
Celeste
Maybe it's hard to say.
Bowen Yang
Although I would just.
Lucy Dacus
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make that.
Bowen Yang
No, I'm happy to talk about that anytime I get. Well, I've only been broken up with, like. Like hardcore, like, once.
Celeste
Oh.
Bowen Yang
But it was sort of, like, amorphous and, like. Well, that's being unclear, but it's fine. It's in the past.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Celeste
I.
Bowen Yang
It is kind of nice to know a concrete reason. You know what I mean?
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Like, because that. Because then you can deal with it. Whereas, like, if it's like, an amorphous thing, like, so you. If someone was like, sorry, Bo, it was the farts, I'd be like, great.
Celeste
Like, okay, yeah, I'll work on that.
Bowen Yang
It's better.
Lucy Dacus
It's better that also, like, is clear that it's the other person's problem. Like, if you're so shallow, like, then they're just. They're counting themselves out of the running.
Bowen Yang
If you can't have me at my farting, you can't have me at my vomits. Sure.
Celeste
You know, when was the last time you threw up? No, no, don't answer.
Bowen Yang
I thought I was gonna throw up last night, actually.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, my God.
Bowen Yang
I ate too fast.
Lucy Dacus
To me, you're like. You're nine years old right now.
Bowen Yang
I'm always nine years old.
Lucy Dacus
I almost threw up last night because I ate too fast.
Bowen Yang
I ordered lemon Chicken from the diner. Because I'm losing my battle every single night with smoking too much weed and eating food. Okay, so I spoke too much weed. And then I ordered a lemon chicken, mashed potatoes, zucchini.
Celeste
Okay.
Bowen Yang
And avalomegnon soup. How do you say this?
Lucy Dacus
You think it was the lemon chicken and not the.
Bowen Yang
It was. I think it was all of it together. I just got so excited about how good it was that. You ever eat too fast because of this reason, you know what I'm saying?
Celeste
You know what I'm saying?
Bowen Yang
Then I thought, am I gonna throw up for the first time in. And I couldn't even remember the last time I threw up.
Celeste
That's.
Bowen Yang
Didn't, though. But thought I would.
Celeste
Thought you would.
Lucy Dacus
Okay, what's.
Celeste
What are. What are you and Katie Gavin, like, on the tour bus? Y'.
Bowen Yang
All.
Lucy Dacus
Y' all sure you'd like to know?
Celeste
My two crushes?
I don't want you to answer that.
Bowen Yang
So when did you tell.
She has it right now.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, I, I don't remember.
Bowen Yang
I can't.
Celeste
I couldn't tell.
Lucy Dacus
It probably was like a. I, I. I used to be able to drink, like, a lot and not feel anything.
Bowen Yang
Sure.
Lucy Dacus
And I didn't start drinking until I was, like, 21, like, after, because I was, like, afraid of it. I grew up kind of afraid of it. And then recently, it's like, I'll have, like, two glasses of wine, and I'll be like, I'm sick.
Celeste
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
So I just, like, don't really drink. Drink.
Celeste
That's good.
Lucy Dacus
And, yeah. This is happening to many people in my life.
Celeste
It is.
Bowen Yang
You realize it really is just poison.
Lucy Dacus
It is just poison. You feel the poison working on you. Yes.
Bowen Yang
It's like a sick feeling. And not a fun feeling.
Celeste
No, for sure.
Lucy Dacus
No.
Celeste
But you and Katie, are you. What are y' all order? What are y' all eating? I want to know.
Lucy Dacus
What are we eating? Well, we have catering, which is nice, because there's so many people. That's like over 20 people that we. Everyone's so busy, and so you don't really have time to go out. And so we'll get, like, fruits and veggies. But caterers on the bus, not on the bus. Like, at the venues.
Celeste
Oh, great.
Lucy Dacus
But what is. What is Katie eating? I don't know.
Bowen Yang
Chicken nuggets.
Lucy Dacus
We had separate buses, which maybe is, you know, sad.
Celeste
No.
Lucy Dacus
Because we would have been having such fun.
Celeste
Y' all are old pals.
Lucy Dacus
We are. We are going to dinner in la, which we should all go to dinner.
Bowen Yang
Where are you going all time? I know you're going to all time.
Lucy Dacus
I haven't gone there. We went to Spina, which is like Spina. Yeah, I like it too.
Bowen Yang
You know what? I go all the time. Superba.
Lucy Dacus
Superb. I've never been there.
Bowen Yang
Always at Superba.
Lucy Dacus
Superba. And I love Bakari and Bakari.
Bowen Yang
Bakari, Silverlake.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Bowen Yang
It's a good date spot.
Lucy Dacus
All right. I don't know.
Bowen Yang
Bring your art about these things.
Lucy Dacus
Bring your artist. Bring your artist to Bakari.
Bowen Yang
No one knows who it is.
Celeste
We won't say.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. Secret, secret, secret, secrets.
Celeste
I would love dinner with y'.
Lucy Dacus
All.
Celeste
I would get all hot. And being back here gets me hot in the face.
Bowen Yang
When we were in Coachella and you guys FaceTimed, that was a big.
Lucy Dacus
I just. I. I forget that you can just use your phone. Yeah. You're just. At any point, just boom. Like someone can get into your life.
Bowen Yang
I just realized I have. I now have a song with Lucy and Katie.
Celeste
Wow.
Bowen Yang
Get on my level now.
Celeste
Oh, that's real. I'm really thinking about that.
Lucy Dacus
I'm really thinking about that.
Celeste
No, that's so amazing.
Bowen Yang
And I'll perform it at my tour Christmas in December. Get your tickets@mattroutersofficial.com.
What if your wifi wasn't just WI fi, but the magic holding your whole holiday together?
Celeste
Well, with Xfinity WI Fi, it kinda is.
Bowen Yang
Picture this. Powered by their best, most elite high performing tech, this WI Fi doesn't just connect devices. It keeps the peace at home during the most wonderful and most stressful time of the year.
Celeste
It's kind of like having a little holiday helper working behind the scenes, making sure the holiday playlist never skips the beat and the video call with grandma doesn't freeze. Mid cookie tutorial.
Bowen Yang
It's WI fi that keeps your whole home connected so you can actually enjoy the holiday magic chaos free. The best present of all.
Celeste
Let me paint a picture for you. A holiday movie marathon is streaming in the living room. Your kid is video chatting their friends from their tablet, and your partner is shopping for too many gifts and cinnamon candles. Ugh. Not this season. Not with Xfinity WI Fi.
Bowen Yang
With Xfinity, you can boost the wifi to your device only. So when you go to upload 200 photos of that cat in a cute little Santa hat, you won't see that dreaded failed to upload message. Not this season. Not with Xfinity WI Fi. And what if you had a way to make sure family time during the holidays had zero distractions. With Xfinity WI Fi, you can pause the kids Wi Fi and enjoy those special moments together.
Celeste
And if you're wondering what other parental instincts your WI Fi has during this busy season, Xfinity protects your kids when they're online, so you know they're safe, even if you're busy making cocoa or taste testing cookies.
Lucy Dacus
What?
Bowen Yang
Someone has to make sure there's exactly the same amount of chocolate chips in each cookie. And what if your WI Fi could proactively fix issues before they even happen? Well, that's exactly what Xfinity WI Fi does. Like the friend who shows up with extra wrapping paper, bows, and tape before you even realize you're out. Because, let's be honest, you never buy enough.
Celeste
Bottom line, Xfinity WI Fi isn't just smart, it's brilliant. And during the holidays, that brilliance, that's a gift. Xfinity. Imagine that.
Bowen Yang
Okay, so you know how the world is a chaotic, swirling ball of total stress right now? Well, we have a new Hulu show from Ryan Murphy that will give you the much needed break from reality. And whether you know it or not, you are already completely obsessed. It's called all's fair. And Ms. Kardashian plays Allora Grant, the most in demand divorce attorney in Los Angeles. Get it? It's All's Fair, as in All's fair in love and war. And she's a divorce attorney. Love it. Now, let's talk ensemble, because Allura does not go it alone. She breaks off from a crusty male dominated law firm to start her own legal coven with some absolute forces of nature. Naomi Watts, Niecy Nash Betts, Teyana Taylor. And Glenn Close. Yeah. Hello, Glenn Close. And of course, you need a villain, so say hello to Sarah Paulson as the nemesis. And these ladies are brilliant, complicated, fearless. And when they all come together, nothing can stop them. I'm talking about the lawyers on the show and the actresses playing them, by the way. But, hey, if you're thinking this will be all courtroom drama and no drama drama. Relax, Elora. That's Kim's character has plenty of twists and turns in her personal life. Her professional life crashes into her personal one. And. Oh. So how does this super lawyer fix her own mess? With a little help from her besties, of course. So this series has it all. Scandalous secrets, high stakes courtroom drama, more shifting alliances than Kim's other shows. Some OMG Twists and friendships that rise above it all. And of course, everything is gonna look amazing. It's got some unapologetic Glam. A work hard, play harder lifestyle. Every scene just sparkles. Everybody makes compromises in their lives. Lame men underpaying jobs. Well, stop. Just stop. And never settle for anything less than fabulous when it comes to your next streaming obsession. All's fair now. Streaming on Hulu and on Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. Drama guaranteed. Okay, so you want your master's degree. You know you can earn it.
Celeste
But life gets busy. The packed schedule, the late nights. And then there's the unexpected.
Bowen Yang
Well, American Public University was built for all of it.
Celeste
With monthly starts and no set login times, APU's 40/ flexible online master's programs are designed to move at the speed of life.
Bowen Yang
Start your master's journey today at apu Apus. Edu.
Celeste
You want it? Come get it at apu.
Bowen Yang
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Celeste
It's more than travel. It's the membership to that flies, dines, streams, rides, and arrives with you. Every great journey deserves a great story. And when you have a membership that's as unique as you are, there is no telling how your story will unfold or where that journey will take you to next.
Bowen Yang
SkyMiles is the membership that will be here for all your big and small moments. The membership that's there for every solo adventure or family trip. The membership that comes with the power of partnership from brands you love. The membership that moves with you. Learn more@delta.com.
Celeste
This is, I don't think zoning. This is our segment where we take one minute to really go off on something. In culture, it's a polemic. It is really destructive. And that's what we need more of.
Bowen Yang
If we do our job. I have something.
Lucy Dacus
Okay. Yeah, we're each gonna do it.
Celeste
We're gonna go first and you get to choose out of your options.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. Cause you said you had five options for I don't think so many. But you feel strongly about one thing.
Lucy Dacus
Well, I feel strongly about all of them, but not all of them. Am I willing to hear what other people have to say?
Bowen Yang
I understand. So what do you think about the idea of you just kind of telling us what they all are and we get to vote and then later. Okay, okay, okay.
Lucy Dacus
I'll do the whole. I'll do how many minutes you got later? We can do this.
Bowen Yang
We got minutes.
Celeste
Yeah, we got minutes.
Bowen Yang
But for first, one minute from me, then Beau, then Lucy Dagus. Okay, I'm ready.
Celeste
This is Matt Rogers. I don't think so, Honey's time starts now.
Bowen Yang
I don't think so, honey. Avatar, Fire and Ash trailer. What is it about? What is the movie about? Because I know that is a lot is happening.
Celeste
Yes.
Bowen Yang
I know there's a lot of screaming, explosions and more. But I do need to know the story of the film. I understand. Also, the trailer is very international. It being a very international movie. This will make billions of dollars, I'm sure. I'm so happy for everyone involved. But I do need to know what the movie is about. I understand that we don't really go for the story, but it would be nice to know, you know what I'm saying.
Celeste
What would you say Way of Water was about?
Bowen Yang
Oh, the water. I guess the baby was strong.
Celeste
The baby was strong. See, this is what I'm saying.
Bowen Yang
It's like, what do you remember from Avatar? Way of Water, My baby is strong. She was a singer of songs, et cetera.
Celeste
15 seconds.
Bowen Yang
Give me some lines of dialogue that is not just like a Na' Vi screaming through the air, landing on a spacecraft. Like, I understand. The humans are definitely bad again, five times. We love that. I was once told I look like Jake Sully. Avatar version, not Sam Worthington.
Celeste
And that's one minute. And you wanna think it's a compliment?
Bowen Yang
No, no. That was just sort of an additional fact I wanted to throw on the end there.
Celeste
You feel connection.
Lucy Dacus
You do think so, honey, about that.
Bowen Yang
Actually, can I tell you something? When someone was like, you look like Jake Sully. You look like Jake Sully. I was like, okay. And then I saw him and I was like, not only do I kind of get it, but I'll take it.
Celeste
It's a gorgeous proportion.
Bowen Yang
Like I think it would. It's like the long nose and like, and the big eyes, eyebrows, and like, sort of like the, like Ectomorphic positioning.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah, ectomorphic positioning.
Bowen Yang
There's ectomorphs and there's mesomorphs. Ectomorph is long and lean like Nicole Kidman.
Lucy Dacus
So everyone is either an ectomorph or a mesomorph.
Celeste
I think it's. I think it's plots on a. On a spectrum, perhaps.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Celeste
The morph spectrum.
Bowen Yang
I'm. I, I trust him with.
Lucy Dacus
Or an animal. No. Or an animorph.
Bowen Yang
Or an animal.
Celeste
What would your. Animorph animal be.
Lucy Dacus
That's a culture.
Celeste
That is absolutely a culture.
Bowen Yang
Huge culture.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, what would my animorph be?
I know, a bear maybe. But what. What is.
Celeste
My bear is really good.
Lucy Dacus
Is that it? Is that. No. What were you gonna say?
Bowen Yang
Yes. I don't know. For some reason I saw you, and this has nothing to do with what you look like, but I saw you becoming an anteater.
Celeste
Taper.
Bowen Yang
Yeah, taper. Like for some reason.
Celeste
Yes.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Celeste
Oh, those are really nice animals.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Bowen Yang
Are they nice?
Lucy Dacus
An ant eater.
Celeste
So they're eating the ants. I'm. I'm happy.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. Thank God you don't like them.
Celeste
I really don't like ants.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
It's one of those things we probably should appreciate more because, you know, they have a function in society.
Lucy Dacus
Again.
Celeste
I don't know.
Bowen Yang
There's got to be something with, like, the soil.
Lucy Dacus
There has got to be something. I. I like mosquitoes.
Celeste
I like the culture they worship. One woman. I like that.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, yeah. There's a queen aunt.
Celeste
There's a queen.
Lucy Dacus
Do you know how old old ants can get?
Bowen Yang
How old?
Lucy Dacus
The oldest aunt is 30 years old.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. Flirty, really thriving.
Celeste
Really old.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
That is so old.
Lucy Dacus
That's one of my funnest facts.
Bowen Yang
We found out that the alligators we saw can live to 75 or 80.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, my God.
Bowen Yang
And the big one, seen things named Benjamin that I was discussing earlier was approximately 60 years old. The same age as Captain Carrie.
Celeste
Kelly.
Bowen Yang
Kelly. Captain Carrie is on Below deck.
Celeste
Yes.
Lucy Dacus
Aw.
Celeste
What was I gonna say about.
Bowen Yang
Probably something amazing.
Celeste
Avatar.
Bowen Yang
Oh, yeah.
Celeste
I think most of the movies are about them jumping on planes or them roaring. She was a singer of songs. What is. What an interesting line.
Bowen Yang
I mean, what. What's happening is. I think Avatar 1 was about, like, okay, we're seeing the planet. Like, you know what I mean? Like, we're getting accustomed to.
Lucy Dacus
It's supposed to be like, colonialism is bad.
Celeste
Yes.
Bowen Yang
Correct.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Bowen Yang
I think Avatar 2 was obviously about our great oceans, or rather Pandora's great oceans. And then fire and ash, I think is gonna have to do with, I don't know, I guess, like, the skies or something. And apparently this is a lot of fire allegory.
Lucy Dacus
Well, they're doing Earth, Earth, water, fire. Are they gonna do air?
Bowen Yang
Feels like the logical progression.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Celeste
I feel like air has already been in the movies. They've been flying around.
Bowen Yang
They've been flying around so much.
Lucy Dacus
This is.
Celeste
This is my thought, and I might be wrong, but to put out movies that are like, colonialism Is bad. I'm like, right. But it's too late. You know what I mean? It's like, what are we gonna do about it? What's still happening? But you're right. Totally.
Lucy Dacus
Well, so. Yeah.
Celeste
Have we stopped it? But maybe that's not the point.
Bowen Yang
Well, it's about responsibility. Once that is the case.
Celeste
By the mindset of colonialism. Yeah, of course.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Respect and responsibility. Once you've established a reality that is taken from something else, it's like you must now honor the fact that, like, it's, you know, it's essentially being like. Yeah, reparations.
Lucy Dacus
Also, it's like, maybe it's too late to have happen. It's not too late to try and correct.
Celeste
Correct.
Lucy Dacus
Give land back. Yes.
Celeste
Right.
Bowen Yang
You will never be one of the people. That's exactly what the line was.
Celeste
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
And then.
Lucy Dacus
So that's from something.
Celeste
That's from Avatar.
Bowen Yang
You wouldn't ever be one of the people.
Lucy Dacus
Thank you for.
Bowen Yang
And she went out on there for a different movie.
Celeste
Explain that. I've got something.
Lucy Dacus
Okay. Okay.
Bowen Yang
Emilia Perez herself.
Celeste
This is coming out in December, as we know.
Bowen Yang
So this is gonna be seasonal.
Celeste
Yes.
Bowen Yang
All right. This is Bowen Yang's. I always, always open the wrong app when it comes to having to time something. Okay, this is Bowen Yang's. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now.
Celeste
I don't think so. Any poinsettias? First of all, let's talk about the spelling. One extra I, one I too many after the T. After the two T's are the one. I'm not gonna look into it. All I know is there's an errant, errant silent eye.
Bowen Yang
Okay, sure.
Celeste
You look like a damn weed. And for a flower to have to be in a pot that is wrapped in a specific kind of foil that is maybe going to be mistaken for the petal of the flower. I go, well, then you're leaning too much on the container. And the flower itself is not doing the right kind of work to aesthetically hold the center of this presentation and arrangement. I don't understand it. Why are they everywhere? We've got too many crystals. The tree, the fucking mistletoe. Don't even get me started on that.
Bowen Yang
Five seconds.
Celeste
And now I gotta figure out this flower that looks like shit. Get that out of my sight. I don't think so. Any poinsettias?
Bowen Yang
That's one minute. You know, it's the thing about. It's the thing about Christmas that I'm the most like, okay, well, sure, yeah.
Lucy Dacus
It feels 80s why do they feel like it's an 80s flower? Flowers shouldn't evoke a decade.
Bowen Yang
You're so right.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Why does it feel 80s?
Lucy Dacus
It's 80s.
Bowen Yang
Because it does.
Lucy Dacus
Well, the container is this, like, shiny. Yeah. The dress. Beautiful dresses. Beautiful dresses to those flowers.
Celeste
Yes, it does.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Celeste
It has like a cocaine energy that.
Lucy Dacus
I'm like, well, you know, when you bend the leaf, like, white goo comes out. Stop.
Bowen Yang
Like, come on.
Lucy Dacus
I guess so.
Celeste
You're right. I think. I think. I think when I was growing up.
Lucy Dacus
As a kid in church, I would just go like, yep, with my nail and it would just.
Bowen Yang
And the white girl. That's what you were doing as a.
Lucy Dacus
Kid instead of listening about God one time on Christmas. Since this is apparently a Christmas episode. I am wearing red and green.
Celeste
You are.
Bowen Yang
You're dressed like Santa.
Lucy Dacus
I didn't realize, but our. The church I grew up in, everyone would. The lights would go down in the church and we'd pass a flame. Everyone would get a candle and you're not safe past the flame. And at the end, it would be beautiful. Everyone's singing Silent Night acapella.
Celeste
I love this.
Lucy Dacus
And I was five and holding the flame and looking up at the. The church and kind of going around. And then this woman starts hitting me in the head. And I don't know why. I'm just getting smacked in the head and people are screaming. And then the lights come on and I had lit my hair on fire.
And. But it was just like. And I do have this memory. The most potent memory from it is the pastor jokingly, I now know, saying, well, Christmas is canceled.
Celeste
That is humiliating.
Bowen Yang
At the time, you thought maybe.
Lucy Dacus
Well, because it stopped Silent Night. And it was sort of this talk like, do we restart? It's like, no, let's just go home.
Bowen Yang
A kid almost immolated. We have to go.
Lucy Dacus
We have to go.
Bowen Yang
But why not?
Celeste
This. That's 90s culture is, let's embarrass the kid and. And have that be a trauma in her life.
Lucy Dacus
I do. I, like, really don't like Christmas. And I don't usually think of this story as why. But that.
Bowen Yang
Do you think it has something to do with it?
Lucy Dacus
Yeah, probably.
Celeste
That sounds like a Steven song.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah, it. Yes. That was the worst Christmas ever.
Celeste
That was the worst Christmas ever. I love that Christmas album.
Lucy Dacus
One of the best Christmas songs, maybe the best that I know of.
Celeste
Thank you.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Celeste
But you've.
Lucy Dacus
You've.
Celeste
You've. You've done Christmas songs. You've released some Christmas songs, haven't you making that up?
Bowen Yang
Which one would you release?
Lucy Dacus
That was the worst Christmas ever.
Bowen Yang
That was the one. Oh, that would be really, really good.
Lucy Dacus
I'm doing like a Christmas show with Rufus Wainwright, who I also sang with last night, which was amazing.
Celeste
So cool.
Bowen Yang
Where was that?
Lucy Dacus
Webster Hall. Part of, like, the New Yorker Festival.
Celeste
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
But I was like, can we sing the Art Teacher together? It's just. I don't know. If you know the song, I'll send it you to you. But he's, you know, a legend. He's just like a history lesson within one person.
Celeste
Rufus. Yeah. Holds it all.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Celeste
Can do. Can. Can do Judy at Carnegie hall and can also do opera. Do opera and then rock with you.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Celeste
That's rock star.
Bowen Yang
Speaking of rocking with you. It's time for. I don't think son of your opera.
Lucy Dacus
Oh, my God.
Bowen Yang
Grammy winning rock artist.
Celeste
Also.
Bowen Yang
I don't think so, honey. Superstar.
Lucy Dacus
We don't know that yet.
Celeste
We do.
Bowen Yang
I have faith.
Lucy Dacus
My heart is racing.
Bowen Yang
I can't wait to experience this awe. Don't be racing.
Celeste
Sublime.
Lucy Dacus
Okay, I do need to. You have a screen protector, and I couldn't see the timer when you were faced that way.
Bowen Yang
Don't worry.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Bowen Yang
Okay.
Celeste
This.
Lucy Dacus
I'm scared.
Bowen Yang
Is Lucy Davis. I don't think. Sonny. Her time starts now.
Lucy Dacus
The boy with the dangly earring, is he a villain? I don't think so, honey. And here's why. First of all, sometimes you have to wear the costume before it becomes the clothes. Sometimes people are the ally at the pride parade for years before they figure out why they keep showing up. Why are we gatekeeping a gate that all of us had to walk through at one point or other. Specifically with the dangly earring. Sometimes we have a guy with a dangly earring. Then you wait five years, you have a. A beautiful woman on your hands, 30 seconds. In other situations, the guy takes out the earring. No one was hurt. If you don't like that guy, that has to do with that guy's personality. Unfortunately, it would be so easy if we actually knew who people were from what they're wearing. But we do have to do the hard work and take the time to find out if someone is actually disingenuous or cool with us. And I think that the threat of being made fun of or thought of as disingenuous at the front is intimidating people out of being creative and playful with their presentation, which could lead them down a path to a life that would be more tolerable and fun.
Bowen Yang
Oh, my God.
Celeste
That. That pierced through all of my calloused.
Bowen Yang
Armor to my heart. New episode unlocked. Just like on all those themes. I have to say, when you started and the way that you. The way that you structured that. I don't think so, honey, was a misdirect. Because when you started by saying the boy with the dangly earring, here I am thinking you're gonna tear that guy.
Lucy Dacus
Up because it is easy to do, but I think it's lazy.
Bowen Yang
You're right, it is easy to do. And I was ready to do it. And then I had to assess based on your actual content. You queered the form 100%.
Celeste
You did, Lucy. That was innovative. That was the sublime.
Bowen Yang
That was all, oh, my God.
Lucy Dacus
So basically, are you currently having to be like, but I do hate the guy with the dangly ear.
Celeste
I don't hate the guy with the dangly ear.
Bowen Yang
Sometimes is the guy with the dangle earring.
Lucy Dacus
Well, and sometimes the guy with the dangly earring is hateable sometimes. But hate people for who they are, you know, Give them the dignity of hating them for who they are.
Bowen Yang
Let me talk. Let me go up to the dangled and let me speak with them, you know what I mean? And then judge them based on them showing me what's on their phone. Be it the, you know, huge breasted manifestation of their sexual conquest, desirable abilities thing, or the bombs, you know, something like that. But I do agree with you that it's like you do have to let people look, maybe in. Maybe in a way that you think is silly. Like people should express themselves with clothes. I do feel and music and like art and stuff like that. And self expression. I feel like. Let's not judge.
Celeste
Yeah. Yes. I hope I have not judged you too many times in the past for the way you've looked.
Lucy Dacus
Whoa.
Bowen Yang
You don't really read me for the way I look. Unless I'm like mismatched colors. Cause I'm colorblind.
Celeste
You don't read me. I don't know why I bring this up, but I just hope I've never gate kept an aesthetic.
Bowen Yang
I don't think we do that to each other.
Celeste
Because this is the thing. An aesthetic is the bridge to the person or the idea or the political notion or whatever it is. You know what I mean? It's like if you look the part.
That'S why fascism moves through the aesthetic of fascism. Whatever. I won't get into that. You know what I mean? That is the literal front line. And so dangly earring, it's like, we'll let the person do a dangly earring, and then that will be, like, the locus, the inflection point for something else. The dangly earring is the bridge to something else.
Bowen Yang
Yes.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. Or if it's not, they're at least the type of person that would be willing to walk on the bridge and then walk back to the other side. I like people who are open to the idea that they could be different than how they are and then be like, no, I think I'm. I'm good.
Celeste
I think I'm good.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah.
Bowen Yang
No, it's interesting. Like, one time there was someone in my life who was then not in it anymore, and a friend of mine incommiserating about this person was like. And they wore those stupid turquoise earrings.
Lucy Dacus
Well, we can do that with our friends.
Bowen Yang
And I remember. And I remember afterwards, I was like, now I feel a little bad because I think the turquoise earring was kind of fun. There's so many things to talk shit about this person, about the way they act and about they are. But the turquoise earring actually made me pity that person because I was like, oh, but that. You know, sometimes people think, like, I know who I am, and so I'm dressing this way. But a lot of people are like, I'm gonna try dressing this way because hopefully I get encouragement and then I can be more who I am. And perhaps if that was encouraged in a specific type of person, then they wouldn't be horrible.
Celeste
This is very thought provoking, Lucy. Thank you for really.
Lucy Dacus
But then also, like, you can be dunking on nasty people with your friends about what they're wearing. But, like, clothes are. Let's remember. Yeah. Some clothes are ugly.
Bowen Yang
It's actually real culture.
Lucy Dacus
I do think so, honey.
Bowen Yang
Some clothes are ugly.
Lucy Dacus
Some clothes are ugly.
Celeste
Yeah, absolutely. Well, that was.
Bowen Yang
And I know. I'm. I'm so interested after we end, because not everyone gets to know everything about what your other idol thinks Mahoneys are. Because if they're structured like that, I'm.
Lucy Dacus
So excited to tell you. I hope that might be my ick, actually. You might hear this and be like. Like, no, no.
Celeste
What do you mean?
Lucy Dacus
So we'll find out. Yeah, they don't get to. I don't. I trust you.
Celeste
Oh, thank you.
Bowen Yang
And because we've established trust through.
Lucy Dacus
Through connection.
Bowen Yang
Through a Spotify song.
Lucy Dacus
Through a Spotify song and a live.
Bowen Yang
Performance that, by the way, yes. Was by far the highlight of that show for us.
Lucy Dacus
I mean, for me, too, since, I mean, you did the whole show. I only did that one moment. So it's my favorite.
Celeste
But you showed up for rehearsal the day before it happened. That meant a lot to us. That was a crazy week for. On a lot of levels.
Lucy Dacus
You did something amazing, by the way. I was like, oh, you asked me to do something. I like you. I'll do what you have asked. And then I showed up and you put on a real. Like, it was really an award show. I did not know what I was walking into. And it was like, so funny. Way more interesting than most award shows.
Bowen Yang
Oh, thank you.
Lucy Dacus
Give an award to.
Bowen Yang
Wow. From a Grammy winner. Okay.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. From an award haver to an award deserver.
Bowen Yang
Yeah. Thank you. You're the best. And honestly, that. That really, it was like from inception of that. Of that idea, the. Of the. Of the in absentia to then doing it. I just remember us being at the end and after you came out and like, that being like. I felt like we did it because that part went so well.
Celeste
Exactly.
Bowen Yang
Like, it was just like such a highlight for us.
Lucy Dacus
Funny.
Celeste
Well, damn. Forever's a feeling. The archives Buy stream. Watch the videos.
Bowen Yang
Get the vinyl. Get the vinyl. There is.
Celeste
Yeah, of course.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. It's coming out in December, actually.
Bowen Yang
Oh, love, that's perfect.
Lucy Dacus
Here's something else. Like, I would have done this without promoting something. I love you guys.
Celeste
We would have obviously had you on without you promoting something. It was about.
Bowen Yang
It was a matter of time.
Lucy Dacus
Okay. I love that.
Celeste
We love you.
Lucy Dacus
Yeah. We'll get dinner with Katie.
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
Lucy Dacus
If you can stand me after these.
Bowen Yang
Other Lucy, we're already obsessed. We don't have to go to separate bike.
Celeste
We can go. We can go wherever.
Bowen Yang
We do have to go to all time.
Lucy Dacus
Okay.
Bowen Yang
Just kidding. We don't have to go to all the time. We end every episode with a song. Oh, don't wanna close my eyes.
Lucy Dacus
I don't wanna fall asleep.
Bowen Yang
Cause I miss you, baby And I.
Lucy Dacus
Don'T wanna miss a thing.
Bowen Yang
Cause even when I dream of you.
If you want to hear that, listen to all of our song on Spotify.
Lucy Dacus
If you had told me that was happening, I would have practiced.
Accessible.
Celeste
Las Coltristas is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcasts.
Bowen Yang
Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen. Yeah. Executive produced by Anna Hosnier and produced.
Celeste
By Becca Ramos, edited and mixed by Doug Bain.
Bowen Yang
And our music is by Henry Kabirski.
Get ready for your next TV obsession. All's Fair. Starring Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts, Niecy Nash, Betts Teyana Taylor With Sarah Paulson and Glenn Close, a team of fierce female divorce attorneys leave a male dominated firm to start their own. Filled with scandalous secrets and shifting allegiances both in the courtroom and within their own ranks, these ladies know that lawyers are a girl's best friend. Don't miss All's Fair. Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus for bundle subscribers terms apply. Listen up guys. It's that time of year. Time to deck the halls with holiday decorations from the Home Depot on uber eats. Get 30% off when you spend $70 or more. I'd call that an early prank. You can get real live Christmas trees, wreaths and decor. Inflatable Santa anyone? All from the comfort of home. Seriously, Uber Eats delivers it right to your door. So make your space merry and bright. Order from the Home Depot on Uber eats and get 30% off. Orders of $70 or more with promo code Depot30MAX discount $35 offer end soon. So order now. This episode is brought to you by Ross. It's the holiday season and there's magic in the air. Specifically, the magical ability to get more for your holiday dollar at Ross. I'm talking toys for the kids, plus gorgeous jewelry, sets, cozy sweaters and amazing gifts for everybody else on your list. And if you're hosting for the holidays, and I hope you are, Ross has everything you need to do it upright. Yes, I'm talking about Decor. All at 20 to 60% off other retailers prices. So find your nearest Ross and go work your magic this holiday season.
Celeste
Ever ask yourself, what am I capable of?
Bowen Yang
Ford believes only you can answer that, even if others try to do it for you. You're the one who defines your legacy. Chases the horizon, engineers your dreams, conquers the curves.
Celeste
That capability. It's in you. Just like it's built into every F150 Bronco, Mustang and every other Ford vehicle.
Bowen Yang
Because whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.
Celeste
Ready, set. Ford. Visit Ford.com to learn more.
Lucy Dacus
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
Podcast: Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Episode: Kinsey Is A Feeling
Guest: Lucy Dacus
Date: December 10, 2025
Network: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts
In this vibrant, often hilarious episode, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang welcome indie songwriter Lucy Dacus for a wide-ranging, deeply personal conversation at the intersection of queer identity, pop culture, formative art, and the power of connection. They delve into essential questions — from self-perception and the meaning of queerness ("Kinsey Is A Feeling") to childhood fascinations and the cultural resonance of the Muppets. Laced with banter, bits, and bursts of heartfelt sincerity, the episode tackles vulnerability, artistic expression, the sublime, and why you shouldn’t judge a boy by his dangly earring.
[03:04–06:14]
“I’m so fucking proud of you, bitch. How far you’ve come from nothing to everything.” — Matt Rogers [04:43]
[06:36–08:32]
“I think forever is a feeling. I think it’s a feeling. Kinsey is a feeling.” — Celeste [07:16]
“I’m intimidated that you have a crush on me because you’re going to find out something about me and just think I’m lame. That’s the thing about having a crush, right?” — Lucy Dacus [08:03]
[08:32–14:21]
“In the mirror, I’m a supermodel to myself. I’m so hot to myself...In all pictures? Gremlified, truly. Burn the person in the picture.” — Bowen Yang [13:05]
[14:21–15:46]
“That day, I thought maybe I am hot. So thanks for that day.” — Lucy Dacus [14:39]
[15:47–17:01]
“I like to go up and talk to people because everyone actually does like that... So you might as well just fall on the sword and be wrong occasionally and just, like, bounce back.” — Lucy Dacus [16:19]
[17:02–18:07]
[18:19–19:10]
“It’s a joy, but it also is so weird. Paddington goes to jail...” — Lucy Dacus [18:35]
[20:39–24:55]
“There’s early loves in childhood. But I think the thing that really, like, got my spark going is the Muppets.” — Lucy Dacus [20:44]
"Miss Piggy is one of those examples in pop culture...she’s clearly the amalgamation of all these old Hollywood tropes, and yet she transcends them." — Celeste [22:46]
[24:57–27:02]
[27:02–28:28]
“There’s this huge thing where musicians go and hold koalas when they tour Australia.” — Lucy Dacus [59:12]
[28:29–34:31]
“It really is crazy. I wish I was that tapped in.” — Celeste [28:28]
[34:31–38:02]
“He told me some of the worst stuff I’ve ever heard...I want you to answer this: How do you sleep at night?” — Lucy Dacus [35:36]
[20:10–20:28, 38:02–43:02]
[48:37–50:05]
“The sublime is harder and harder to reach.” — Bowen Yang [49:07]
"It’s very sublime...My whole band came out kind of changed and awed by it." — Lucy Dacus [48:38]
[59:12–62:49]
[65:06–67:10]
[72:47–89:10]
“Sometimes people are the ally at the pride parade for years before they figure out why they keep showing up. Why are we gatekeeping a gate that all of us had to walk through?...The threat of being made fun of at the front is intimidating people out of being creative and playful with their presentation, which could lead them down a path to a life that would be more tolerable and fun.” — Lucy Dacus [84:02-85:01]
[84:02–88:54]
[89:10–End]
“I showed up and you put on a real...award show. I did not know what I was walking into. And it was so funny — way more interesting than most award shows.” — Lucy Dacus [89:43]
The episode is irreverent, effusive, honest, and warm — blending sharp pop culture wit with moments of surprising depth and vulnerability. The hosts and Lucy effortlessly pivot between camp, candor, confession, and intellectual curiosity, punctuated by inside jokes, “culture rules,” and soulful asides on queer life and art.
For fans of Las Culturistas or Lucy Dacus, this episode is an exuberant, moving celebration of self-acceptance, fluid identity, and the lifelong magic of connecting to culture and to each other.