Episode 643: The Battersea Poltergeist Part I - The French Prince

Summary

Last Podcast On The Left – Episode 643: The Battersea Poltergeist Part I: The French Prince

Date: November 21, 2025
Podcast Network: The Last Podcast Network
Hosts: Marcus Parks, Ben Kissel, Henry Zebrowski

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Episode Overview

This episode marks the beginning of a two-part deep dive into the infamous Battersea Poltergeist case—a uniquely bizarre and quintessentially British haunting that began in 1956. The hosts tackle the strange saga of 15-year-old Shirley Hitchings and the poltergeist “Donald,” whose eccentric antics would bewilder not only her family but the entire UK press for over a decade. The show sets the tone for a blend of skepticism, humor, and open-minded curiosity as they explore themes of paranormal obsession, mass hysteria, and the weirdness of psychic phenomena tangled with British social norms.

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Major Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction & Social Context

[03:04] Marcus Parks:

• Announces a “two-part journey into the land of the spooky” – the Battersea Poltergeist.
• Sets up a palate cleanser after darker series, promising a story with “only one dead child this whole series.”
• Frames the case as “more of a Carrie” than a traditional haunting, comparing it to telekinesis and adolescent turmoil.

2. The Battersea Poltergeist Case: Origins

[03:55] Marcus Parks:

• In 1956, Shirley Hitchings’ family became the focal point of “an incessant, sometimes violent poltergeist named Donald.”
• Unlike slow-burn cases, this haunting “broke incredibly quickly” and became a British media sensation.
• Donald stood out as a poltergeist by being “a prolific writer of messages and letters to an almost overwhelming degree,” communicating obsessively via knocks, scribbled notes, and increasingly silly missives.

3. Donald: The Writing Poltergeist

[04:45] Marcus Parks:

• Harold Chibbett, the psychical researcher, wrote a book titled The Poltergeist That Can Write—a title the hosts roast for its lack of imagination:
  “It should be the poltergeist that can talent manage,” jokes Ben Kissel [07:41], referring to Donald’s efforts to insert Shirley into the world of TV stardom.

4. The Hitchings Family Dynamics

[11:14] Marcus Parks:

• The household at 63 Wycliffe includes Shirley (15), her parents Wally and Kitty, and the elderly Ethel.
• The adopted adult son ignores the haunting altogether—a refrain on how public claims of supernatural activity can fracture families.

5. Early Haunting Phenomena

[14:05] Marcus Parks:

• Shirley finds a mysterious key in her bed—a classic poltergeist trope.
• The disturbance accelerates to loud nightly knocks and scratches, culminating in Shirley’s sheets being tugged forcefully and claims of levitation.
  Notable quote:
  “Suddenly, Shirley went fully rigid before she was lifted up… as if a force was pushing her to do so.” — Marcus Parks [29:50]

6. Poltergeist Activity at Work

[28:30] Marcus Parks:

• The disturbances follow Shirley to her job as a dress cutter; coworkers hear tapping, and scissors reportedly move on their own—causing enough disruption that Shirley is asked to take time off.

7. Naming the Spirit and Escalation

[27:30] Marcus Parks/Ben Kissel:

• The poltergeist is variously named “Charlie Boy,” “Spooky Willy,” and then “Donald”—the last sticking after a silly “Donald Duck” joke.
• Naming cements the haunting, increasing its power and notoriety.

8. British Media Frenzy and Public Spectacle

[32:05] Marcus Parks:

• The press runs wild; 12 newspapers eventually cover the case.
• The British public descends on the Hitchings’ home, mirroring the public’s obsession with haunted locales.
• Shirley becomes a minor celebrity, even appearing on the BBC for a small fee—with the hosts highlighting the lack of any real profit or motive for fakery.

9. Investigators and Would-Be Exorcists

[19:17] Marcus Parks:

• Shirley’s dad’s coworker, Harry Hanks, offers to “help” as a spiritualist medium, bringing his family to conduct seances—adding to the circus atmosphere.
• Later, the infamous amateur exorcism features “Harry Hanks' African spirit guide, Sambo,” discussed with appropriate historical and ethical horror by the hosts [49:32], laying bare midcentury racism in British spiritualism.

10. Testing, Hypnosis, and Big Toe Exposé

[52:18] Marcus Parks / Henry Zebrowski:

• Reporters push for hypnosis to “expose” Shirley, but she resists.
• The press fixate on Shirley’s “hammer toe,” running a story called “It Spook Was in Girl’s Big Toe” after noticing her toe produces loud cracks—a nod to the Fox Sisters’ method of faked knockings.

11. Donald’s Evolving Identity and Motivations

[62:27] Marcus Parks:

• Through laborious “Ouija-by-knock” sessions, Donald writes increasingly elaborate notes.
• He claims to be “a French prince drowned in the Channel after the Revolution,” with aims to connect Shirley to handsome TV stars and—bizarrely—help her achieve TV stardom [07:41].
• The hosts speculate about adolescent projection and psychic hysteria, but remain open to poltergeist theory.

12. The Arrival of Investigator Harold Chibbett

[67:00] Marcus Parks]:

• Chibbett, an old-school paranormalist, embeds himself with the family, sometimes escalating the haunting with his presence.
• The style of “Fortean” research—observe, don’t interfere—is debated by the hosts as both earnest and intrusive.

13. Violence: Fire Follows Threats

[74:07] Marcus Parks:

• After Donald threatens arson, Shirley’s bedsheets catch fire, severely burning her father when he intervenes.
• Official fire investigators are unable to explain the blaze, and the episode ends on this first incident of true danger, teasing that “next week we’re going to be getting some actual deaths. Many deaths. Quite a few deaths actually.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “This poltergeist tale, I honestly view this as more of a Carrie.”
  — Ben Kissel [03:33], referencing parallels to psychic adolescent turmoil.
• “There’s only one dead child in this whole series.”
  — Marcus Parks [03:21], lampooning the difference from previous dark episodes.
• “It should be the Poltergeist that can Talent Manage.”
  — Ben Kissel [07:41], on Donald’s TV ambitions for Shirley.
• “They made what is considered a grave mistake…”
  — Marcus Parks [27:07], who then pauses for several comedic “pun intended” riffs on naming the poltergeist.
• On exorcism ritual:
  “Harry’s consciousness was very suddenly overtaken by a so-called African spirit guide. Oh boy. Yeah, see this was England in 1956. So the African spirit guide had the incredible racist name of Sambo.”
  — Marcus Parks [49:32], highlighting problematic British spiritualism.
• Big Toe Theory:
  “And we know that hammers knock.”
  — Henry Zebrowski [60:02], riffing on the infamous “spook was in girl’s big toe” headline.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:04] — Introduction to the Battersea Poltergeist
• [03:55 – 05:46] — Case background, Donald’s unique “writing” power
• [14:05 – 16:00] — Shirley discovers mysterious key, onset of poltergeist activity
• [19:17 – 21:17] — Introduction of Harry Hanks, seances, failed interventions
• [27:30 – 29:01] — The poltergeist’s evolving names: Charlie Boy, Spooky Willy, Donald
• [28:30 – 29:50] — Haunting spills into Shirley’s workplace; early levitation claim
• [32:05 – 35:17] — Media and public frenzy; no real profit for the family
• [49:32] — The racist “Sambo” mediumship episode
• [52:18 – 54:39] — Hypnosis and the infamous hammer toe explanation
• [62:27 – 63:48] — Translation of Donald’s first long, cryptic letter
• [67:00 – 70:54] — Arrival of Harold Chibbett, Fortean investigative style
• [74:07 – 75:27] — First poltergeist-caused fire and its investigation
• [75:41 – end] — Closing thoughts, teasing next week’s bloodier second half

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Tone & Style

The hosts maintain their signature blend of morbid curiosity, dark humor, and self-aware skepticism throughout. British quirkiness, adolescent angst, and tabloid sleaze are all lampooned in classic LPN style, with riffs on class, pop culture, and the paradoxes of believing in psychical phenomena.

Notable is a refusal to dismiss the wormhole of weirdness out of hand:

“That’s the most infuriating thing about the paranormal… two things can be true at once.”
— Marcus Parks [31:07]

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Summary Takeaways

• The Battersea Poltergeist case is as much a study of postwar British society and the birth of tabloid ghost obsession as it is a story of supernatural weirdness.
• Donald the poltergeist, with his writing, matchmaking aspirations, and increasingly outlandish behavior, stands out as a unique case in psychical research history.
• The episode ends on a cliffhanger as violence escalates—leaving listeners eager for Part II and a promised “psychedelic tumble down the mind of a 15-year-old psychic girl.”

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Stay tuned for the bloody, even stranger conclusion in Part II!

Transcript

[Marcus Parks]

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[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent.

[Marcus Parks]

To $15 per month. Required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed Slow Hacker 35 gigabytes of networks busy taxes and fees extra. Cmintmobile.com there's no place to escape to. This is the last on the left.

[Ben Kissel]

That's when the cannibalism started.

[Marcus Parks]

What was that?

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, because that's what I'm trying to adjust for this episode.

[Marcus Parks]

What?

[Ben Kissel]

Because it's not fully Enfield crooked Feet like. No, it's. I wish it was.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I know.

[Ben Kissel]

This is way more like again, like. Sorry I interrupt you ghosting there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, sorry.

[Ben Kissel]

I just want to pop around see if you had a good poltergeist over here next door. Oh no, this is fine. Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt.

[Marcus Parks]

Then it's because you're classist. Because infield in infield is a working class and this story is more middle class.

[Ben Kissel]

Well, all of the people were surprisingly like not out of Alice in Wonderland's court that I am used to.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I think it's a fun story. I love a bunch of British knockers.

[Ben Kissel]

We all do.

[Marcus Parks]

Welcome to last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with Class War Henry Zabrowski.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, sorry. Let me make sure one check a bit of your British knockers here. Make sure they're all full of berries. Call the doctor.

[Marcus Parks]

We have E.D. british knockers Cur Larson with us as well.

[Ben Kissel]

I don't. I don't like British bad version of Eddie. I don't like it. British Eddie kills sex workers. That is the real Jack the Ripper.

[Marcus Parks]

Turn into some sort of mythological character.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Can we subtitle this?

[Ben Kissel]

I just feel like the subtitles themselves Would have to be blurred.

[Marcus Parks]

Today we are starting a two part journey into the land of the spooky. It's the Battersea Poltergeist Part 1. Welcome ladies and gentlemen.

[Ben Kissel]

You guys were sick of Nazis? Yeah, we were sick of Nazis.

[Marcus Parks]

We wanted to come back with something a little more light hearted.

[Ben Kissel]

This is goofy.

[Marcus Parks]

There's only one dead child in this whole series.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow. Last time we had millions.

[Ben Kissel]

Millions.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's true.

[Marcus Parks]

I took it down from millions to one. I heard you, I listened, I see you.

[Ben Kissel]

This poltergeist tale, I honestly view this as more of a Carrie.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it's Carrie. Yeah, it is Carrie. There's a lot of telekinesis involved. There's a definitely, you know, a young girl at the center of all this. But we'll, you know, left of course, let people decide for themselves what they think about it.

[Ben Kissel]

We don't care actually.

[Marcus Parks]

So in 1956 in the Battersea district of London, a 15 year old girl named Shirley Hitchings began a 12 year association with a mischievous and sometimes violent poltergeist named Donald. But as opposed to other slow burn poltergeist stories that take months if not years to be told, this story broke incredibly quickly. And the coverage made both Donald and Shirley national sensations in the infamously obsessive British press. Now, while Donald the Poltergeist did indeed send objects flying through the air, and while it did drive Shirley's family to the brink of insanity with its incessant knocks and taps, the thing that set Donald apart from other poltergeists was his prolific communication with the world of the living. Through methods that were sometimes clear, sometimes mysterious and sometimes very silly.

[Ben Kissel]

Very silly indeed.

[Marcus Parks]

Donald the Poltergeist was a prolific writer of messages and letters to an almost overwhelming degree. As such, the main psychical researcher in this story, a man named Harold Chibbett, made the messages. Donald's central characteristic when Chibbett wrote about the case. The title Chibbett chose, however, was extremely underwhelming. His book, which he spent years writing, he had years to come up with a title for this was called the Poltergeist that Can Write.

[Ben Kissel]

Well, don't worry, his previous book, do you ever read the Frankenstein that can.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Set.

[Ben Kissel]

Very, very slow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I prefer the Werewolf that could Mount Wa.

[Marcus Parks]

This is 1956 after all. It's a good two decades before London's other infamous teenage girl poltergeist case Enfield. So the paranormal community had not, in my opinion, found their flair for the dramatic because there are far better hooks to this story than Donald's fucking communication skills.

[Ben Kissel]

Well, it's very indicative of the way the British would go about investigating these stories.

[Marcus Parks]

Very matter of fact.

[Ben Kissel]

Very matter of fact. And also like getting embedded. This is the guy. This guy Harold Chibbet would be sort of the proto guy to be embedded amongst the family. And the Jeff, the story, if you remember, which also took place two decades before this, that kind of like set a little bit of the flavor.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Of what could be like ghosty entertainment in the news in the uk. And they liked it. But Jeff the sadly never set an old woman on fire.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And Jeff is just a talking mongoose, right?

[Ben Kissel]

It's just a talking mongoose. This one does a lot. Donald does a lot more.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they. Jeff the talking mongo said that he did it for the devilment. Donald the poltergeist did it. Actually did it for the devil did it. Yeah man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I want to party with this talking mongoose.

[Ben Kissel]

You do, you do. Jeff is cool. The problem is that Jeff, he does tend to hang out with types like Donald.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. Well, as far as hooks go, Donald the poltergeist was as I mentioned, violent and sometimes dangerous. If you believe the stories, Donald was a pyromaniac. And the antics surrounding this haunting had dire real world consequences. See, even if the haunting was simply the machinations of highly imaginative 15 year old girl named Shirley, they still actively contributed to the death of Shirley Hitchings grandmother. Furthermore, as far as the poltergeist identity went, Donald ultimately claimed that he was the uneasy spirit of a French prince who had drowned in the English Channel after escaping the French Revolution following the guillotine execution of his father, King Louis xvi. And concerning what Donald wanted, his main motivation seemed to be to connect Shirley Hitchings with various young 1950s British TV actors with the ultimate goal of obtaining a starring role on a TV show. For surely. But please, by all means, let's go with the poltergeist who can write.

[Ben Kissel]

It should be the poltergeist that can talent manage. That's incredible. Just by the idea of looking for opportunities for your client in that way.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

The Lost Tensome Jack shit. Oh that.

[Marcus Parks]

The Lost Boy King. There's so many different titles and angles. He could go with the, you know, the. The Mysterious case of the Fire setting Poltergeist. That could also work.

[Ben Kissel]

But Grandma Killer Inside Grandma's Daughter.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The fact it's a prince is like the most unbelievable part of all of it to me.

[Marcus Parks]

Sure.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, just like why is it always like whenever you talk about the afterlife or like people's past lives. It's always like you were Abraham Lincoln. It's never like you were just some.

[Ben Kissel]

Dude, you know, I think that really comes from as well as we'll talk about in this whole case. I think this story, of all the various ghosting stories that we've covered, is one that is an example of psychic abilities gone rampant. And that I think you're seeing really the projections of a little girl and what they think about historical figures and what they find to be romantic. And that we are will cover ovilee as we go. But who knows, man?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I just can't believe we're gonna spend hours on the ramblings of a little girl.

[Ben Kissel]

I do it every night. I pour over young Greta's journals looking for the key to her heart.

[Marcus Parks]

You still think she's the antichrist?

[Ben Kissel]

No, I think Greta Thunberg is like. Well, if I do think she's an antichrist. But I think that's good.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Moving along, ladies and gentlemen.

[Ben Kissel]

Let's get to the next move to the next post.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, for our source today, we used a fascinating book called the Poltergeist Prince. Much better title. Yes, Very catchy. It was co written by James Clark and the person at the center of this entire haunting, Shirley Hitchings, who filled in the gaps for Clark decades after all this happened.

[Ben Kissel]

The poltergeist formerly known as Prince is right there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's just like a symbol. That's like a little ghost.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, right there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's just a pac man ghost.

[Ben Kissel]

That's incredible.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, as of the Poltergeist Prince's release in 2017, Shirley was still maintaining that everything we're about to discuss was solely due to the attachment of an extremely active poltergeist named Donald. But we'll, of course, as we said, leave it up to you to decide whether or not that was actually the case. I myself find this case to be extremely compelling. There's a lot of cool shit here.

[Ben Kissel]

It's got legs.

[Marcus Parks]

It's very thick. Yeah. Now, unlike the tale of the infield poltergeist, in which the haunting's victims were a working class single mother and her two daughters, the story of the Battersea poltergeist occurred in the financially stable home of an only child. The address of the haunting number 63 Wycliffe, was said to be nice and typical, with a backyard and a converted air raid shelter left over from the London blitz, which wasn't too long before all this happened. By 1956, however, that shelter just held.

[Ben Kissel]

Chickens and that's why it's good because a lot of times you got to make sure you get your chickens all prepped to work them for the wintertime because you know, most chickens on Wyclef street are gone till November.

[Marcus Parks]

Pronounced Wycliffe.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, I'm sorry, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The great hero Wycliffe. I hope people call their Shirley chickens.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, cute. That's Shirley chickens. No, Shirley chickens. That man you own Shirley chickens.

[Marcus Parks]

The two floor home was occupied by 15 year old Shirley Hitchings, her 51 year old mother, Kitty, her 47 year old father, Wally, and Wally's long suffering 73 year old mother, Ethel.

[Ben Kissel]

Won't somebody kill me?

[Marcus Parks]

I've seen two centuries now and I think I'm done.

[Ben Kissel]

It's been quite dramatic 100 years and I certainly wish to exit this life.

[Marcus Parks]

The Hitchings also had a 20 year old adopted son living at number 63 Wycliffe. But this brother is largely missing from the Battersea poltergeist story because he absolutely refused to speak about or even acknowledge the haunting while it was happening, nor did he talk about it to anyone afterward.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'll fucking know these people.

[Marcus Parks]

This is understandable because as it goes, almost anytime someone claims that a spirit is communicating with the world of the living, this story does get incredibly silly from time to time. Don't believe the movies. When a spirit actually communicates with people, it's always kind of stupid.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes. And the ramifications of going to the media and telling the world that this stupid stuff is happening inside of your home and you're taking it seriously makes the whole world destroy your family. And that's why he's very understandable. He might not want to be involved.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, My problem with like Ouija boards and all that, I just don't believe that ghosts remember how to spell.

[Ben Kissel]

They don't need to.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, we'll actually address that later on in the story. Yeah, I mean basically this story is Enfield meets Jeff the talking Mongoose. Except in this case, instead of a foul mouths weasel, the communicating spirit was an aggressive teenage French Prince from the 1700s, obsessed with young heartthrob celebrities.

[Ben Kissel]

As he would be.

[Marcus Parks]

As he would possib. Quite possibly. Yes.

[Ben Kissel]

The French prince.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

The level of gay you become as a French prince must be incredible.

[Marcus Parks]

I just can't wait till we finally do the French Revolution. We can get all of your thoughts on the French just out in the open.

[Ben Kissel]

I just think about just like him covered in cream, that little, the little beauty mark drawn on his face.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How old is he supposed to be? The French prince.

[Marcus Parks]

15.

[Henry Zebrowski]

15, man.

[Marcus Parks]

I.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, and not to sound like an asshole, I don't care. Nothing's more annoying to me than French spoken by children.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, yeah. It's all like, you think you're better than me. When you see. When you hear it at Disney and they're like, mama, Mama. It's like, shut the up, French child. Oh, you buddy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Speak English like a real baby.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, oh, what are you gonna do? You're gonna rape the president of France or something? God knows what you do now.

[Marcus Parks]

There was really nothing out of the ordinary about the Hitching family. But In January of 1956, the haunting kicked off when Shirley mysteriously found a key in her bed that didn't fit any of the locks in their home. A few days later, the tell tale knocks and taps that signify the beginning of a poltergeist haunting began. The noises faded during the day, but returned in the evening and were sometimes paired with scratching that sounded as if something with claws or was trying to break through.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Santa Claus. Sorry.

[Marcus Parks]

Sure. Eventually the noises became so loud and all pervasive that the family was kept awake night after night. But the majority of the taps, knocks and scratches were clearly coming from the bedroom of the Hitchings 15 year old daughter Shirley Minarche. Shirley was more or less the archetype of the haunt. Do you get. Have you got all your menards out?

[Ben Kissel]

That's all I did. I just said it once. I just said it once time. I know, but only five menashes at this point.

[Marcus Parks]

You can only have one monarch.

[Ben Kissel]

Well, I'd call.

[Marcus Parks]

Isn't that the definition?

[Ben Kissel]

I thought the is the first one. Vanash is the starting pistol.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Being miserable.

[Marcus Parks]

So you can only have one by definition. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Surely it can't be a menage.

[Ben Kissel]

Thank you. Now we're getting back to being classic.

[Marcus Parks]

But Shirley was more or less the archetype of the haunted 15 year old girl. Physically, she was slim and pretty with dark hair. While her personality was described as quiet and shy, but extremely seemingly high strung, she was also imaginative. And like her poltergeist Donald, Shirley was obsessed with young TV actors. Shirley, however, struggled in school because the other thing Shirley shared with Donald was that they both seemed to be dyslexic. See, as I said, Donald was the poltergeist who writes. And it just so happened that Donald and Shirley both tended to flip letters in the words they wrote.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, it didn't say the poltergeist who writes.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, no, no, that's just the poltergeist. To write, just write. For example, they spell the word what waht instead of wh a t what what? As far as Shirley's parents went, they also appeared to be archetypes straight from a British B movie. Like I could see them. I could see Christopher Lee showing up somewhere in this story. Shirley's father, Wally, he was a straight laced steam engine driver and a train conductor. But Kitty, I go choo choo, but.

[Ben Kissel]

I will not go woo woo. Extremely important, One must remain one's composure when driving the choo choo train.

[Marcus Parks]

Unfortunately, I have murdered accidentally six train spotters this month.

[Ben Kissel]

We must be on time. Remove yourself from the tracks.

[Marcus Parks]

But Shirley's mother, Kitty, she was described as elderly at the age of 51 due to a crippling case of arthritis. Kitty hobbled around the hitchings home on walking sticks. Both parents, however, were strict adherents to the teachings of the Church of England and had no knowledge of spiritualism or the paranormal prior to this haunting. In fact, Wally was certain that the taps and knocks had a physical explanation when they began believing they were most likely due to faulty electrical wiring in the house.

[Ben Kissel]

To be a strict adherent to the teachings of the Church of England. Is that like being like a huge like soccer fan in Canada or something?

[Marcus Parks]

Like no, they're in England.

[Ben Kissel]

But it's like kind of. That's the low rent one, right? Is that like the low. Like what is the commitment to the Church of England?

[Marcus Parks]

The Church of England is the same church that the Queen adheres to. The same church that many people, you.

[Ben Kissel]

Just get rolled and go oh no. And then get rolled out.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. No divorce. You can't have divorce. That was a big thing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is that the King James Bible? Is that officially Church of England?

[Marcus Parks]

I don't know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We'll say it is.

[Ben Kissel]

Confidence, roll forward like the train.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Also you by if there's a lot of knocking in your house and you're like, oh, it's just the faulty wiring. You gotta check that out.

[Marcus Parks]

Well then, being a part of the Church of England, I actually think it's a really important part to the story.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, I bet.

[Marcus Parks]

Because you know, they are haunted by this poltergeist. It does. And it torments them for 12 years. But being a part of the Church of England, it makes them very reticent to use any methods that may be deemed as Catholic.

[Ben Kissel]

So they're not you by the bulls.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

So they can't. They're not going to be bringing in a priest to take care of any exorcism. They're going to keep calm and carry on throughout the whole fucking thing.

[Ben Kissel]

Should be good stuff. A bit of a roast, that bow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

King James Bible, English translation commissioned by the Church of England.

[Marcus Parks]

Fuck yeah. So, yes. Yes. Now. After ruling out electrical problems, he looked into it immediately. Wally and Kitty naturally began blaming their daughter Shirley for the noise. To test her, they forced Shirley to keep her hands where they could see them. They could stare at her. But the noises continued without any apparent movement from the teenage girl.

[Ben Kissel]

I'm showing you my wrist tops, daddy. I'm showing you everything I've got.

[Marcus Parks]

Flabbergasted, Wally began talking about the noises to his co workers. And amongst his fellow train conductors was a spiritualist and amateur amateur medium in his 50s named Harry Hanks. And so, when Hanks's hobby suddenly appeared before him in the real world, he quickly volunteered to drive away whatever was causing the disturbance.

[Ben Kissel]

Never tell anybody at your work that your home is haunted. Yeah. Because every time. There will always be one. There will always be. You're gonna see Patty from accounting show up with all of her gems, you know, being like, well, you know, I am a reiki master. You know, like she's gon going to. You're going to get deeply involved with a coworker that's going to ruin your life.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We need a medium. We don't have one in the office.

[Ben Kissel]

I got a bunch of. I can call them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We need, well, employee one is what I'm saying.

[Ben Kissel]

Amber says she sees ghosts every third day.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Every time she closes her eyes, she sees a ghost. Every time she thinks of a memory of her childhood.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes. Sees ghosts.

[Marcus Parks]

We got enough psychics and mediums on call. We don't need a one on staff.

[Ben Kissel]

No.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, well, Wally agreed to let Harry Hanks Helped. Help. So Harry arrived at number 63 Wycliffe in February of 1956, about a month after the haunting began. This visit, however, is the only time I've ever heard of a paranormal enthusiast bringing along his wife and daughter. Because paranormal investigation was apparently a Hanks family affair.

[Ben Kissel]

That's nice. Normally it's a super weird loner.

[Marcus Parks]

And usually families aren't, like, into all. All into, like, paranormal investigation together. That's not usually, like, the family hobby. Usually it's camping. Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Or. Or getting together and killing another family.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Also, I'm picturing Tom Hanks covered in hair just so everyone else can do the same thing.

[Ben Kissel]

You got it?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Thank you. Harry Hanks. So you're picturing Tom Hanks head to toe. Third act of Castaway.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but like, I want hair on his forehead.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Tom Hanks, the dog face boy. I got it.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. Hey, how you doing, buddy? I'm trying to figure out Tom Hanks impression.

[Marcus Parks]

Hey. Hey, how you doing, buddy?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is there a Tom Hanks impression?

[Ben Kissel]

That's it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Okay, thanks.

[Ben Kissel]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online. Every dream needs a domain. Which is why I finally solidified the borders of my own animalsurl.register.com you will bend to my will. Thanks to the power of Squarespace, I have been quantifyingly organizing every single available animal based creative business URL that is around and I'm coining them for myself. Wonderful things such as buffalo sauce sauce.com such as kangaroo hats.com such as many different chickens shoes dot com. And it's all held behind the giant iron, powerful Squarespace fueled gates of animalsurlregister.com and any one of you that dares defy me or the unilateral power of Squarespace with their blueprint AI. Squarespace AI Enhanced Design Partner. Which sounds like the hand in hand we will march across the graves of URLs that people have been trying to steal from under me using the cannons of animalsurl register.com Me AI, my old buddy, Jeff Bezos. We're coming for you. You all right? Squarespace is gonna help me. Squarespace is my bullets. Squarespace is my canvas. Squarespace is my God. We like Squarespace here. Head to squarespace.com left for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code left to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. This is an ad by BetterHelp. You know, I really lost contact with my extended masters recently. It's been so hard to psychically reach them because so much aluminum has built up in my pituitary gland. I guess it's because I've been using all this fancy dancy natural deodorant that apparently has extra aluminum in it. But honestly, I just wish I could reach out. Sometimes it's just nice to make somebody's day. My ascended masters always tell me I'm right and that I'm not not too fat for life. Some people don't have ascended masters to talk to. Some people wish they could reach out to somebody. And this season, Better Help encourages you to reach out. Check in on friends. Just like it takes a little courage to send that text or grab coffee with someone or Ask one of your ascended masters what's the proper way to destroy communism. Reaching out for therapy can also feel difficult, but it can be worth it. So I say you get out there and just like I want to give a call using the powers of Votann. For those of you that don't have Voton, enjoy betterhelp this month. Don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] LastPod that's betterhelp.com LastPod if you've ever felt overwhelmed by the idea of learning a new language, you're not alone. Studies show that 70 to 90% of people trying to learn a new language give up. Fortunately, Babel's built so that it's really easy to get started. Learning a language with Babel is all about small steps, big wins and progress. You can actually track and feel. Their bite sized lessons fit easily into your daily routine and are also easy to remember. It's easy to use Babel. It's easy for you to learn different words. Stuff like if you're in Germany and you need to be like, hey, where can I get some see through lederhosen? You can learn that. If you go to Mexico City and you want to learn how to say, do you have any see through lederhosen in Mexico City? You can learn how to do that. I believe the Spanish word for lederhosen is lederhosen and I learned that from Babel. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 55% off your Babel subscription at babel.com/forward. Get up to 55% off at babel.comforward/left spelled b a b b e l.com/left rules and restrictions may apply.

[Marcus Parks]

The Harry Hanks and his family performed a couple of seances with the intent of clearing the house of lost spirits. But as it often happens, the activity would stop when the Hanks family arrived and resume only after they left. The Hitchings family, meanwhile, were already at their wits end due to lack of sleep. Tensions were running high. So in an attempt to lighten things up, they made what is considered a grave mistake in the paranormal community.

[Ben Kissel]

Pun intended.

[Marcus Parks]

They made. Yes, very much indeed.

[Ben Kissel]

They killed the children.

[Marcus Parks]

They made what? Actually, if the pun is truly intended, I have to deliver it in the right way. They made what is considered a grave Mistake.

[Ben Kissel]

Thank you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Get out of here.

[Marcus Parks]

Sir.

[Ben Kissel]

Sir. You get out of here. You get away from this man. He's not a woman. It doesn't matter what he looks like. Just because he has a waist under 36 inches, he's not a woman.

[Marcus Parks]

He's going to tell you his name's Shirley. Chickens. It's not.

[Ben Kissel]

It's not.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, they gave the poltergeist a name. In fact, they gave it two names. Sometimes they call it Charlie Boy. Other times they'd refer to the spirit. This is one of my favorite ghost names I've ever heard as Spooky Willy. The voice you're doing now, that's Spooky Willy.

[Ben Kissel]

That is Andrew's penis.

[Marcus Parks]

But after they named this power, whatever it was, the knocks and taps only grew louder. And the noises were sometimes so intense, the neighbors claimed to have heard them from several houses away. Day. Now, as I mentioned earlier, the Battersea poltergeist story got very intense very quickly. The tapping reportedly attached itself to Shirley and followed her outside of the home. And according to many accounts, the noise, whatever it was, it followed Shirley wherever she went.

[Ben Kissel]

This is one of those parts of this case that makes it extremely compelling. Yeah, it was everywhere she went.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

And I know that it's like. Yeah, obviously it's centered around her, but that's what I'm saying. This is psychic ass.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I mean, she'd go on the bus and people would hear the tap. She'd go to work. People would hear that no matter where she was. Yeah. Well, for example, when Shirley went to her job as a dress cutter at a London department store, the tapping was heard there, too. But interestingly, the tapping was not seen by her co workers as an annoying prank being pulled by a teenager. Instead, the noises terrified the other ladies that Shirley worked with.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Shirt. A dress cutter.

[Marcus Parks]

Dress cutter.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Yeah. They just show up like, could you remove the breasts from the shirt, please?

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Things got worse when the poltergeist took a liking to a certain pair of scissors. The department store. Those scissors would reportedly move around on their own, and the activity thus became so distracting that Shirley was asked to take some time off work to figure out her quote, unquote troubles. But as it often goes, the haunting only escalated after Shirley's life began falling apart. In late February, Shirley reported that she was in bed when she felt her sheets being yanked away from her. She called for her father, Wally, who tried tugging them back, but his efforts were reportedly met with an unknown force pulling the sheets in the other direction.

[Ben Kissel]

Right. With Right following.

[Marcus Parks]

Suddenly, Shirley went fully rigid before she was lifted up. Once lifted, she began floating in the air just six inches above her bed. This story, however, was Wally's recollection of what happened that night. Best as I can tell, as Shirley remembered it, her head and feet stayed on the bed while her back back arched upward as if a force was pushing her to do so. All while she cried out that she could not, no matter how hard she tried, straighten herself out again. By the way, remember this is 1956. All this like you hear it, you think, like, oh yeah, you know, I've seen floating above the bed a million times. I've seen the creepy arch, you know, that people do when they're supposed to be possessed. This is long before these sorts of stories became tropes in the world worlds of horror or in the worlds of parent of the paranormal.

[Ben Kissel]

Largely, it's why they became tropes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. So while there are certainly things in this story that very well could have been cries for attention from a high strung, imaginative teenager, other incidents like this one are more compelling. But of course how compelling you find all of this depends on if you believe the people involved.

[Ben Kissel]

Or it could be cries for cries for attention from a high strung imaginative teenager who also is psychic. Yeah, like literally, like, like what happens, what happens if, you know, when Carrie's in a bad mood? Everybody D. Yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

That's the most infuriating thing about the paranormal is that, you know, two things can be true at once is that there can be something paranormal going on and the person can be lying about.

[Ben Kissel]

There could be human shenanigans as well.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How. What do we know about Papa Wally here?

[Ben Kissel]

I mean, I know he literally was desperately trying to just be a train conductor.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, he's just a regular, just regular dude.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. So I mean, that's what's. You know, because now that he's involved in the sheet pulling thing, she obviously couldn't have been doing that. So this is.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I mean, and that's again like if you believe the people involved, it's like in order for all of this to make sense as a hoax, you would have to believe that Wally was also either lying or orchestrating. Wildly hallucinating it. Yeah, or orchestrating it. But he has, as we'll see, there's absolutely no reason for them to orchestrate this now. The British are nothing if not a nation of gossips. So the Battersea Poltergeist became a constant subject of discussion in the neighborhood where the Hitchings lived within weeks of the first occurrence.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, it's juicy as fuck.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah. Once the public showed interest, the ever invasive British media arrived just two months after it all began. And by March, Wally Hitchings was allowing pretty much any reporter who knocked on his door to come inside his home. In response to the attention, though, the Battersea poltergeist actually got more active, throwing clocks and lamps to the ground or knocking over chairs. But once the reporters started asking the family questions, they found that while Wally and Kitty Hitchings were God fearing, button up Brits, Shirley's grandmother Ethel was the witchier member of the family. I'll answer your questions.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes, nothing's bad in this hole.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Cock of a Newt.

[Ben Kissel]

I have 12.

[Marcus Parks]

Actually, could you run out to the store and grab me four more? I get nervous when I get below 15.

[Ben Kissel]

I need 20 packs of the newts.

[Marcus Parks]

At 73 years old, Ethel proudly told reporters that during her previous job working at a hospital, she had been able to see the misty essence of a soul leave a patient's body when they died.

[Ben Kissel]

I suck it through a straw.

[Marcus Parks]

Additionally, Ethel also claimed to see the ghost of her dead husband in her bedroom from time to time. As far as the current haunting went, though, Ethel swore that she'd seen clothes and shoes fly across the road room on their own volition and that hangers on the wall had mysteriously detached themselves and fallen to the ground. In other words, whether, as I said, whether the haunting was a tall tale, a shared delusion, or a genuine paranormal phenomenon, the adults in the Hitchings house were all in on this from the very start.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Could have been shitty hangers.

[Marcus Parks]

I mean, it could have been shitty everything.

[Ben Kissel]

Shitty everything.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. England in 1956 was not a super nice place to live.

[Ben Kissel]

It's been hastily rebuilt since the blitz.

[Marcus Parks]

O God. Not even close to being rebuilt. Like, it's mostly just rubble everywhere. So it's for like decades.

[Ben Kissel]

And I imagine it, it, yeah, it's. I mean, who knows? I'm certain they did their best, but so far, yes, everything could be mostly just British contracting. Yeah. But we will get there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And this happens though, you know, I always tell Julie to stay away from my flying shoes.

[Ben Kissel]

You know, every time I paid more.

[Henry Zebrowski]

For that, you know, so it's like, stay away from my flying shoes. They're going to fly around the room and if you get near them, they're going to hit you.

[Ben Kissel]

Where do you think my flying shoes are supposed to go?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I said in my vows when we got married that you're gonna have to take me and my Flying shoes.

[Ben Kissel]

That's my flying shoes.

[Marcus Parks]

Now you want to go back on the promise, huh?

[Ben Kissel]

And he just puts his shoes on, stands in the backyard just going.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I gotta lose weight. My flying shoes aren't working anymore.

[Marcus Parks]

The press ate up every detail the Hitchings gave them. They published every word the Hitchings uttered. And they eventually settled on Spooky Willie as the better of the two names. For the spirit was haunting number 63 Wycliffe.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's why I would have voted for.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah out of Spooky Willie. Or was the Charlie like Upchuck Charlie?

[Henry Zebrowski]

We already forgot the other one.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, yeah, Charlie boy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. No one wants Charlie boy. But everyone's gonna hang out with Spooky Willie.

[Ben Kissel]

Wouldn't you want to vote for Spooky Willie for like House of Representatives? Like, there's something about like me being, hi, my name's Spooky. But the one thing that's not spooky is my legislation. That's all. I'd love to find a guy to sheet all the time.

[Marcus Parks]

Spooky Willy. Libertarian Party chair.

[Ben Kissel]

Kate tags a ghost.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, before long, one reporter got the idea that he could set himself apart from the pack by attempting to communicate with the spirit using knocks. One knock for no, two knocks for yes and three knocks, knocks for I don't know. After working their way through standard questions like can we help you? And some surprisingly direct questions like are you evil?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Great question.

[Marcus Parks]

He said.

[Ben Kissel]

No. Evil people never lie. No.

[Marcus Parks]

Are you evil? Yes, I am.

[Ben Kissel]

That be terrifying. Yes, I am. I am man. Yes I am.

[Marcus Parks]

British band I actually did think like when I like, I was wondering if like Diamond Head was reading the newspaper that day.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, the reporter eventually learned that Spooky Willie was actually Shirley Hitchings great grandmother who died in 1916. Or at least that's what Spooky Willie was claiming.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Spooky Wilma.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, yeah, Spooky Willie. Whole day besides Graymo.

[Marcus Parks]

The next Sunday, though, the spirit amended its identity and not for the last time. While communicating directly with the Hitchings family, the spirit next claimed to be a boy named Ronald that Shirley had played with as a little girl. Girl. Ronald, however, had moved overseas with his family and as the poltergeist claimed, he had subsequently died and returned as a ghost. Since the story was already being covered in multiple outlets, the press immediately tracked down this Ronald character. He was indeed a real person. But when he was found alive and well and not haunting a 15 year old girl in Battersea, London, well, not as a ghost. Something interesting happened. Nobody really knows how but the poltergeist name soon morphed from Ronald to Donald. The only explanation we could find was that for some reason, Kitty Hitchings thought it was hilarious to call this spirit Donald Duck. But nobody knows why she called him that or even why she thought it was funny. But after Shirley's childhood friend Ronald was found alive, both the press and the Hitching family quietly began calling the spirit Donald without giving a reason. Reason. But regardless of why, the poltergeist took the name permanently. And for the next 12 years, he was known as Donald the Poltergeist.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See, Donald.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. It sounds like Donald said yes to the name.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

And then once they started calling him Donald, the way I kind of interpreted it, it almost kicked up activity in a way. And they would, like, learn to do because, like, they're all sitting. They're building a tulpa. They're all sitting in a house. If you really want to believe in some woo woo part of the story at all, all. They're building a tulpa inside the house.

[Marcus Parks]

They're fe. Whatever. Like, whatever psychic energy was created here. If you believe in that, they're just sitting there and feeding it. And there are people constantly coming into the house, reporters feeding it. And not just that. The reporters are then taking what they're feeding it and they're publishing it in London. And, you know, thousands upon thousands of people are reading this every day, giving more power to it, you know, and it just keeps increasing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And once you become a ghost, you can really start to reinvent yourself.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Formerly known as Prince. He's Jehovah, Jehovah's Witness in heaven.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The Spooky Willy thing ain't working. I was working with Ronald for a little bit, but then we. I talked to my manager. We're going with Donald.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What's his name?

[Ben Kissel]

Was it that mankind used to be Hacksaw, Jim Dug, Cactus Jack and Dude Love?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

They change all the time. People change.

[Marcus Parks]

Now it was obvious to everyone involved that this spirit wanted to communicate. So the Hitchings family ended up making a kind of homemade Ouija board with pen and paper so they could actually get answers beyond yes or no. No. After writing out all the letters of the Alphabet, they could move their finger from letter to letter until they heard a knock. And with each knock came a letter. That letter was written down until it spelled a word. And then finally they would end up with a full message.

[Ben Kissel]

So boring.

[Marcus Parks]

This tedious technique became the main method of communication that Donald the poltergeist would use to communicate with the Hitchings family, the press and various paranormal investigators over the next 12 years. Sometimes while objects were actively being thrown around in the very room while they were taking the message. Sometimes they would have to duck while they were listening to Knox. Or at least so they say.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, it's probably they picked the wrong letter. Go yourself. I said and.

[Ben Kissel]

As in Mary. But no, I, I wonder. This is one of those things about the story is that there's so much activity.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

And everybody. It's all these reporters going in and saying they're getting things. I do believe they would have tried anything to debunk it as well. They all love exposing liars. Everybody love exposing liars. So they're in this state and they're really just watching things zip around a house. But it almost becomes like they're used to it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it does. They do describe it as becoming routine very quickly.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Now in full. Messages began to be passed from the spirit world to our own. The interest in the press only got larger and the typical sleaze that is inherent within the British press increased with the attention. One paper, the South London Advertiser, ran a story that the poltergeist was actually an undead suitor whose ultimate goal was to marry the 15 year old Shirley. But even though that story is fucking stupid, the people of London loved any story about Donald the poltergeist. But the more the story was reported in the press, the more that regular people would show up to the Hitchings home to see what they could see. So many people showed up that Wally would sometimes have to chase them off his lawn himself amidst a storm of piss offs and leave us alone.

[Ben Kissel]

It's interesting that it's very common. Even more than an American society. It almost feels like for everybody to show up at a haunting in the uk.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they just gotta go. They just like to go look at it. Look at the house. Sometimes they'll go knock on the door and come in.

[Ben Kissel]

Do you think it's because they have like kings and queens and stuff that they feel like ghosts are like their friends or their relatives. Like they actually can go and see a ghost and be like oh yeah, I know. And like throw something @ it is 1956.

[Marcus Parks]

This is back when the royal family was still very much apart.

[Ben Kissel]

That's what I mean.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't, I don't think so. I think at this point they're just haunting is very much. Hauntings are very much a part of the culture. Culture. I think.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah. I get. I guess there's just so many people die. There yeah, like everything.

[Marcus Parks]

It's an extraordinarily haunted country. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There's thousands of years of ghosts there.

[Ben Kissel]

And it's a little. It's like a little island and it's.

[Marcus Parks]

All filled with the, The.

[Ben Kissel]

The secrets of the Celts. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

America's just got a couple hundred years of ghosts.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But we, but man, we made up for lost time.

[Ben Kissel]

We really didn't. Although Gettysburg.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh.

[Ben Kissel]

Not as a. Not as a nice. Oh, pile of ghost there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now, not to derail us too much, but didn't we cover something on side stories that all the ghosts in England are, like, dying because there's too old.

[Ben Kissel]

They're talking about stuff like the Borley Rectory. These certain famous ghosts are sort of going away. They are saying that they don't really understand why. And they are part of.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Partly.

[Ben Kissel]

They do believe that there's something to the idea of a battery is running out and then it gets refilled.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm still. I still am down with my theory that it's WI fi that's killing the ghosts. WI fi, wifi and electricity. You know, because if they're. If we are electromagnetic beings and maybe if there is some sort of, you know, electromagnetic, you know, element to ghosts or hauntings or something like that, Wi fi is not going to be kind to it.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, exactly.

[Marcus Parks]

Like. Yeah, it's not. It's really going to fuck things up if you, you know, ask like, you know, people used to see ghosts all the time. Why don't we see them anymore? You know, why is it that everybody has a phone in their pocket and yet there is, you know, nobody can catch anything, you know, on camera. It's possible that they just. They've all gone away.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ghosts just one dial up.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Because that's actually my biggest fear is that, that when we die in the past, that our souls went into some sort of collective unconsciousness, but now when we die, our souls just sort of get trapped and scrambled by the electricity in the air.

[Ben Kissel]

Unless you get bored. Buried in a casket made out of carbon fiber.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, that's only if you die in a cask of made a. You got to be buried in. Alive in it.

[Ben Kissel]

That's what I'm going to do.

[Marcus Parks]

To me or to you?

[Ben Kissel]

No, I'm going to get my ghost off the grid. Hell yeah. That's the only way to do. I'm going to be a sovereign citizen ghost. It's the only way to do that, dude. But also, I feel like this is my reach out. If you go visit the Boardley Rectory with Your family, will you please tragically kill them in a way that leaves a lot of unfinished business and bring some tourism back to the bor rectory?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, please do. But there was a paradox with Wally talking to the press. Because while Wally would chase off looky loose any chance he got, he seemed to say yes to pretty much any media request. And every bit of media coverage only brought more people to his home. Shirley was even featured in a segment on the BBC. And while you might begin thinking at this point that the hitchings were angling for cashier, that appearance on the BBC gave them the only profit they ever gained over the course of this 12 year effect. Fair. The hitchings family were never paid by reporters for any of the newspaper articles. And for the BBC segment, which aired just a couple of months after all this began. And, you know, and the whole thing lasted for 12 years after that, Shirley was paid just three pounds, which is the modern equivalent, about 85 bucks.

[Ben Kissel]

But I think this is just a telling little detail about this story and the fact that most of the time, when the people report to the news that they see a ghost, right? Like all of this kind of flurry of activity happens, and then you kind of see it die out. A lot of the times, right? Like you see them kind of like have a moment, and then a lot of times, the. The person that's the center of the activity ages out. But this one just keeps going past the point of it making any form of sense for you to keep fucking talking.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And three pounds was the weight of the beginning BBC.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, that's if you include the balls.

[Marcus Parks]

We took you to England. We. We took you there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I didn't watch the news.

[Ben Kissel]

No, no. He was afraid they would make him gay. He's like our entire channel dedicated to BBC. I gotta hide my wife's eyes.

[Marcus Parks]

Hold on. How much blood is in this sausage? Now, the story had somewhat leveled off by the end of February. And the answer is a lot of blood in the sausage. Give me more blood in the sausage. Make it grainier. I want it grainier. Give me some mushrooms. Give me some beans.

[Ben Kissel]

I like the white.

[Marcus Parks]

But when the story somewhat leveled off at the end of February, two reporters decided to up the stakes by pressuring Wally and Kitty into allowing Harry Hanks to perform an exorcism on Donald the poltergeist. Remember Harry Hanks? Hanks is. He's just some guy from work.

[Ben Kissel]

Hey, how you guys doing?

[Marcus Parks]

They agreed, but Hanks, for some reason, decided that it was better if the exorcism was Done from the comfort of his own home, located about a mile and a half away from number 63W.

[Ben Kissel]

We're going to want to do this in my home. Exorcism dojo.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay. We're going to do this in my home. And if you could, could you just send over your teenage daughter? Don't come with her. Just send her alone, please. In my home.

[Ben Kissel]

Leave her shoes. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Since paranormal investigation was, as I said, a family affair for Harry Hanks, he performed the exorcism with his wife and his daughter, along with a clairvoyant and a spiritualist. Shirley was also present, although she only observed the exorcism to come, seemingly making it up as they went along. The exorcists held hands and sang a couple of hymns like as they sang Onward Christian Soldiers. Then they fell into silent prayer. Suddenly, though, Harry's wife entered a trance and began shaking. Harry soon entered a trance as well, contorting his face and waving his arms around like a madman. A loud knock then came at the door. And when they opened it, they found the police who had gotten an anonymous tip that a black magic ritual was being performed at that address.

[Ben Kissel]

Hey, we're looking for wizarding. We're looking for people Woods Covenant. It's me. Smart dog daughter. Spooky Willy, Spooky willies.

[Marcus Parks]

The cops. Who calls the cops out of black magic ritual? And what cops come out for them?

[Ben Kissel]

An old British.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Is it even illegal?

[Marcus Parks]

No.

[Ben Kissel]

Well, yes. Yes it is. That was a part of.

[Marcus Parks]

That's right. Witchcraft was illegal in, in the UK until what, like. Yeah, the 50s.

[Ben Kissel]

Right, like a long like the 80s. They went through a whole thing because that was with the Highgate vampires. That also came out too. Like they literally. It was illegal. These are like old.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So one day there was a dude in British Parliament just like, you know what we need to legalize witchcraft.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, he probably came in the mouth of goth woman the night before and realized what he did and he had to figure it all out. Listen guys, we don't need to legalize this witchcraft. Lock me up.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, after observing what was going on for just a few minutes, the police decided that this was all harmless.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, she's stupid.

[Marcus Parks]

Then they gave Harry the go ahead directly resume. So the exorcism picked back up where it left off. Harry Hanks once again began shaking violently. But unexpectedly, Harry's consciousness was very suddenly overtaken by a so called African spirit guy. Oh boy. Yeah, see this was England in 1956. So the African spirit guide had the incredible racist name Of Sambo.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, boy.

[Marcus Parks]

And Harry Hanks, a white British train conductor in his 50s, began speaking in an over the top black guy voice.

[Ben Kissel]

Eddie, please provide the example. I really wish I could have seen.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We all. We all do.

[Ben Kissel]

Everybody would have been super happy with it being like, all right then you want to. You want to make like a tree and leave there, you, you, you crass ass mother.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How long was father Wally? How long was he just like, all right, right, how. You know, I'm just going to sit here and watch this and be polite for a while.

[Ben Kissel]

This is the style of thing, though. Like we always joke about like the Zen new reveal and stuff like that. These guys are so serious. Like Wally's so serious that these guys are. That's what's awesome about this scene is the fact that it is deadly serious. And he is talking in a full on like black fa. Like talking family is.

[Marcus Parks]

He's using a minstrel show. Black man. Really?

[Ben Kissel]

Seriously. They're all sitting there like, I hope my daughter lives. Wonderful.

[Marcus Parks]

Before long, Harry speaking as Sambo, he declared the exorcism was a success. The spirit haunting Shirley.

[Ben Kissel]

And how would that sound?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, the spirit hunting Shirley had been driven away. And Sambo had placed a psychic barrier around Shirley to protect her from future hauntings, this being England. They then all had tea and Shirley went home satisfied. Now, it seems like the exorcism had worked because there were no knocks or taps that night. The Hitchings therefore slept for the first time in almost two months. And it might have all been settled then and there if not for the meddling of the British media. See, there were two reporters from a paper called the Weekend Mail who were convinced that Shirley had fabricated the entire story. And so they arrived at the Hitchings house the day after the exorcism to convince Wally and Kitty to let them take Shirley to a hypnotist. And they. They said, the hypnotist is going to get to the bottom of this whole story.

[Ben Kissel]

You remember this also happened in Enfield. They do this too. They do a lot of bringing little girls into a room alone with a hypnotist.

[Marcus Parks]

They really love it. Now, Wally and Kitty agreed to the reporters ask, although no reason is given why. Perhaps it was because hypnotism was getting a lot of positive press in England in the 1950s. And the hypnotist that the reporters had picked was indeed a recognized member of the British society of medical hypnotists. Apparently, the British society of medical hypnotists have been founded by the same man who had been responsible passing of the Hypnotism act of 1952 in British Parliament, which had set regulatory standards for using hypnosis in medical practice. So for Wally and Kitty, this probably all seemed like it was on the up and up.

[Ben Kissel]

A one, a two, a three. Your knees are now your feet. One, two, three. Your ears are now your lips.

[Marcus Parks]

And as you can all now see, see, charlatans such as this is why we need regulation in the hypnotism industry.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Okay, now bark like a cat.

[Marcus Parks]

But as it turned out, taking Shirley to a hypnotist was the wrong move. Shirley refused to relax when the hypnotist told her to relax. And she wouldn't watch the pendulum. He was swinging.

[Ben Kissel]

Look at the goddamn pendulum.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't know why you won't fucking relax.

[Ben Kissel]

You set the meeting with me, God damn it. Right?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Relax.

[Ben Kissel]

Look at my eyes. Calm down.

[Marcus Parks]

She also constantly fidgeted. She patted her face to stay awake. So all the so called hypnosis standards utterly failed that day.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

But because Shirley was so uncooperative, the reporters who had brought her to the hypnotist gave up the story as a bust and drove Shirley home. But that night, the knocking and tapping returned louder than ever in a framed photo. Photograph was even flung across the room where it struck Kitty Hitchings in the back. Supposedly it was flung completely of its own volition. Nobody was around.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What was the picture of?

[Marcus Parks]

Didn't say. I wondered too. But they didn't say. Information, it really is. No, they didn't say.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There's lots of. Unless this.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, probably a train.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, probably something like, you know, British.

[Henry Zebrowski]

People never bring your work home with you.

[Marcus Parks]

See. Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

It's been like.

[Marcus Parks]

What do you mean?

[Ben Kissel]

Sick of trains.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

See a boat.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Like if you were to walk around my house, like, I don't think you'd say that. Like, oh, because my house, it's not like. It's all like chains and blood and bones or some bones, but not a lot. I mean, you're no more than like the average man, I think.

[Ben Kissel]

I think that I'm frightened just by the vibe of it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Of your home.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

But for me, same.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

You come to my home, what do you expect to see in my home?

[Henry Zebrowski]

You have a ghost in your home?

[Ben Kissel]

I do, Yeah. I also do have a lot of scary imagery.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Your home's actually upsetting.

[Ben Kissel]

That's the idea.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The, the children cry in your home.

[Ben Kissel]

Good.

[Henry Zebrowski]

When I had to explain to the children that they, that the ched goblin was like Our friend.

[Ben Kissel]

I see. It helps. I think it helps them.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, by the estimation of Harry Hanks, the two reporters and the hypnotist had demolished the protective aura that his African spirit guide, Sambo had placed around Shirley.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, yes, that magical.

[Marcus Parks]

Wow.

[Ben Kissel]

I'm certain.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. A second exorcism, however, proved to be unsuccessful. And eventually Harry Hanks, who again is.

[Ben Kissel]

So then he got to the Asian guy, right? Then he did the Asian guy. Then they did the whole. Oh, man, I can't wait till they got to.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Cuz once he.

[Ben Kissel]

The Italian, German, Japanese, like that's funny.

[Marcus Parks]

Eventually Harry Hanks, who again is just some guy who worked with Shirley's dad.

[Ben Kissel]

He's a train conductor. He decided a deeply racist trade conductor.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's why don't realize he's probably trying.

[Ben Kissel]

All the voices while he's doing the.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Announcements on the train.

[Ben Kissel]

So, you know, like, oh, I can't do any of that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's all right. I'm sorry.

[Ben Kissel]

It's good to do. No, it's good.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Self control.

[Marcus Parks]

It's good. Well, Harry angst eventually decided that Shirley was a natural medium who had attracted a second earthbound entity. Now, Shirley was convinced that the spirit haunting her was still Donald, still the same old poltergeist. But Harry Hanks sat this teenage girl down and tried to convince her that she was being actively haunted by the spirit of an adult woman from the neighborhood who had died in a horrific suicide years earlier.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She was sad that her breasts were too large.

[Marcus Parks]

Just imagine that. As trained as man in his 50s sitting down like a little girl, that. Now, unfortunately, I do have to tell you that you are being haunted by the ghost of suicide. And I really want you to accept that. That there's a woman that is haunting a room who has died by suicide.

[Ben Kissel]

And what I need you to know is that her soul was absolutely so desperate, so absolutely filled with male a. She ran a razor across the C and allowed the blood to sleep forward. Just became a green rotting corpse. Now her spirit lies in this very room.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Let me get my drums.

[Ben Kissel]

Excuse me. The choo choo is calling. Actually a super late choo sitting at the station.

[Marcus Parks]

Harry's exorcisms, however, stopped when Harry decided that Shirley's psychic abilities were simply too strong. And until she got her powers under control, she was likely to keep attracting new spirits. Just as soon as he got rid of the old ones, Sambo here was powerless.

[Ben Kissel]

Acorns, little eggs, acorns, tree eggs. So many people are focused on where their money is today. Me too. Mine's in a bucket all covered with my filth. Acorns is the financial wellness app that cares about where your money is going to mark tomorrow. Thanks Acorns. And with the Acorns potential screen you can find out what your money is capable of. It's incapable of being president. Acorns is a smart way to give your money a chance to grow. Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a five dollar bonus. Investment join the over 14 million all time customers who have already saved invested over 27 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to acorns.com left or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns tier 2 compensation potential subject to various factors such as customers accounts age Investment settings does not include Acorns fees Results do not predict or represent the performance of any Acorns portfolio. Investment results will vary. Investing involves Risk Acorns Advisors LLC, an SEC registered investment advisor few important [e-mail] left hi, I'm Jenny Slate and believe it or not, someone is allowing us to have a podcast.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm Gabe Wiedman.

[Ben Kissel]

I'm Max Silvestri and we've been friends for 20 years and we like to reach out to kind of get advice on how to live our lives. It's called I need you guys. Should I give my baby fresh vegetables? Can I drink the water at the hospital? My landlord plays the trombone and I can't ask him to stop. You should make sure that you subscribe so that you never miss an episode. I need you guys. Limu Emu and Doug. Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[Marcus Parks]

Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us.

[Ben Kissel]

Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[Marcus Parks]

Liberty Liberty Liberty Savings Fairy Unwritten by.

[Ben Kissel]

Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates Excludes Massachusetts.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, by March, the two skeptical reporters from the Weekend Mail had settled on an angle to discredit Shirley Hitchings. See, one of Shirley's hobbies was ballet, and like most ballerinas, she developed a deformed hammer toe. And for some reason, during the visit to the hypnotist, the reporters had insisted that Shirley remove her shoes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Gross.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it's weird. I don't know if they had a maybe they had a hunch about the hammer toe, but they said like if this is going well, girl, you've got to take off your shoes.

[Ben Kissel]

Well, we know that this is all connected back to the fox sister. Yeah, that's where it came from with the shoes.

[Marcus Parks]

Nah, I didn't know that.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes, because of they famously faked tappings and knockings using the joints of their feet of their toes.

[Marcus Parks]

Right. Well the thing is the reporters had seen Shirley's deformed big toe.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, no, I know that big old toe. Big big old ghost noise.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And we know that hammers knock.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And they'd noticed that the toe made a loud cracking sound whenever surely moved it. According to the reporters, the cracking of her big toe sounded just like the tap supposedly being made by Donald the poltergeist. So these stalwarts of journalism published a full article about this teenage girl's ugly foot entitled It Spook was in girl's big toe.

[Ben Kissel]

Girls love that. Nothing helps a 15 year old girl's life.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Than focusing on her ugliest part in the news. Yeah, Full front page newspaper worst part of your body.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

It was all just like Henry Zabrowski's belly button is a mess. You see, his belly button caused what's happening in Gaza.

[Marcus Parks]

And also he's a liar. But rather than kill the poltergeist story, the toe angle only introduced more intrigue and speculation. Which of course made the story even bigger. Now you had something to argue about. Is it her big toe? Is it it real? And after the so called big toe story, no less than 12 newspapers were reporting on the Battersea Poltergeist. And amongst all the reporters working on the story was a dashing young man named Michael Kirsch. Now since Shirley was just 15, she was pretty quick to develop crushes. And she started crushing on Michael Kirsch soon after he started reporting on the story. Michael in turn realized that if he gave Shirley extra attention, if he nurtured this crush a little bit, he might be able to get a few more deals, details that could give him a scoop on Shirley's specter.

[Ben Kissel]

I tell you what, you're how I wish I was a nail to be subject to your hammer toe. I love your delicious little horrible crooked feet. Never, Never help a 15 year old's crush on you.

[Marcus Parks]

No, no, never. Don't cultivate that. Not for a story in the news. But on the other hand, as we all know, British journalists have no ethics.

[Ben Kissel]

It's. Yeah, you know, it's just, it's. They're a little bit more adventurous over there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What is wrong with Them, they've got different rules.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, they got different rules. And those rules are no rules. Like, there's like, it's a go hard, as hard and as fast as you can to get the story no matter what. Like, they are. God damn, the British press are vicious.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And so right around the same time that the big toe article was published, Donald the Poltergeist communicated its longest message yet. This message, recorded letter by letter using the homemade Ouija board, would mark the beginning of a barrage of letters dictated through taps by Donald.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was.

[Marcus Parks]

The blurst of times.

[Ben Kissel]

Stupid poltergeist.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, this first big letter was somewhat nonsensical, but it did have some clues as to what the motivation for this whole thing was and where the poltergeist story would eventually go. It read, quote and please, Henry, verbatim.

[Ben Kissel]

I am 15. I come from France. Lost in channel. Cannot remember name. I had a girl like you. Donald is not aware of me. I want someone to tell him. I want a happiness between you two.

[Marcus Parks]

It's French. Keeping French.

[Ben Kissel]

I wonder. Penis between you two. I won't go till I made it, sir. Really Delicate balance. Let me. Let me go.

[Marcus Parks]

You gotta keep going. Keep going.

[Ben Kissel]

Let me go happy by telling Ronald or me, but not Daddy's family. He must keep me a secret between you and me and to himself. Give this to K. Let no one see it. Get K you, but keep a secret. Give to father and be angry. And set fire.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Whoa.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, the important points of this. That message were that the ghost came from France.

[Ben Kissel]

He comes from France.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, he comes from France like the coneheads. He's going to set fire. If his instruct. He's going to set fire to something.

[Ben Kissel]

If his instructions fire. Blast.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. If his instructions are followed, it's going to be fire. And finally, it wanted the letter given only to the handsome young reporter Michael Kirsch.

[Ben Kissel]

And I want you to f it up. And they want you to place it, ever gently, sir, into his front pocket so that the message can touch the shaft of his penis.

[Marcus Parks]

And please, if you can tap his bot, please, twice. Upon delivery of the letter, I would.

[Ben Kissel]

Like to give him kisses.

[Marcus Parks]

Kirsch, however, seemed to be the main factor here, and the request came, as they often did, with increased poltergeist activity. The evening after that message was given, Wally and Kitty reportedly saw Shirley Slippers floating three feet above the ground, walking in the air by themselves as if something invisible was wearing them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

My flying shoes.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Later that Night, Kitty was woken up by what felt like fingers on her back. And this fingers were paired with insistent tapping. Donald obviously had another message. But when Kitty translated it using the homemade Ouija board, she found that the message was not for her. Instead it said, quote, get K. Get him out of bed now. After the curse request, Donald the poltergeist reportedly began writing messages himself. Messages that showed up on scraps of paper or written on the walls. Eventually, the messages became so prolific that the family actually got Donald and a journal to write in. Supposedly when no one was in the room, Donald would write in the journal using long straggling characters that barely came out as words. Although for some reason the spirit's handwriting would vary in quality throughout the 12 year haunting. Now, amongst believers, there is speculation that Shirley would become possessed by Donald and she would black out whenever Donald wanted to actually write down messages. She was Donald's hand. But it was said by investigators that Donald and Shirley had entirely, entirely different styles of handwriting when those samples were laid out side by side. Now, since Harry Hanks's exorcisms had failed and since the Hitchings were a staunchly Church of England household, no Catholic funny business here, they had more or less resigned themselves to accepting Donald the poltergeist as a part of their lives. Ain't nothing to do. It's. It really is like it. Well, it is. I really do think it's like this blitz mentality. It's, you know, this is 1956. I think there is a keep calm and carry on mentality of like eventually it's going to end.

[Ben Kissel]

Just, just another thing. Yeah, another thing on the pile.

[Marcus Parks]

But one day a man appeared at their door. And the great tradition of British paranormal investigation cold calls a man who thought he could help. This man who would eventually give the Battersea poltergeist its worst name. The poltergeist who could write was paranormal investigator Harold Chibbett.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Another Harry.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, Harry Chibbets.

[Ben Kissel]

So much British going on.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't want to meet Harry Chibbett.

[Ben Kissel]

Well, you don't want to see, see Harry's chibit, but I think that Harry Chibbet is a wonderful, I think all Harry chibit. His example of the. The consummate UK paranormal investigator is almost untouched.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh yeah. Pipe smoking.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh yeah. He looks good. Blobby three piece suit everywhere. Every day, fully dressed to the. It's like they wear so much material, they're so afraid of their penis escaping. It's like, why? It's like something. It's like their genital are in, like, maximum security prison.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They refuse a wife.

[Marcus Parks]

It's the wool and the tweed. They love wool and tweed, the uncomfortable, itchy material.

[Ben Kissel]

They like a stiff cut. They like a jacket that can hold its shape.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, Harold Chipot was in his mid-50s by the time of the Battersea Poltergeist. Like many men of his generation, he'd become deeply interested in spiritualism and psychical research after he'd served in World War I.

[Ben Kissel]

And he wasn't a train conductor.

[Marcus Parks]

He was honestly.

[Ben Kissel]

Really. Yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

As such, he'd founded a group that investigated psychic and occult phenomena. And since Chibit was absolutely terrible at naming things, he named his new group the Probe. But during his time with the Probe, Chibbett became a follower of the Photian school of paranormal research, meaning that he believed that it was his job to observe and document paranormal phenomena, but never introduce, interfere. This, of course, is impossible when you're basically living with a family. The. The guy who, you know, that studied the infield poltergeist, he found the same thing. If you're there all the time, you're gonna get involved. And as it went, Harold Chibbett more or less embedded himself with Shirley and the rest of the Hitching family not too long after he introduced himself in the Fordian style.

[Ben Kissel]

They know that the paranormal phenomena itself is extremely subtle and personal. And so the idea is to be there 24 7.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

So you can record every single thing. And like, I love Harry Chip its style of this because he really just like, that's the idea, is to record it all and let the whole world sort it out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm not convinced he's not homeless.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, yeah. Oh, it's wonderful. So this is wonderful magnificence, this hot water. Oh, that's Deception is simply wonderful.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

So. Oh, his food is excellent. Oh, what do you call this? A blanket.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, the Hitching family invited Gerald Chibbett into their home as they did with pretty much anyone who knocked on their door. It really did like, I can't figure out. It seems like it's a compulsion with Wally Hitchings, anytime someone shows up and says, hey, I didn't. He just is like, all right, come in.

[Ben Kissel]

My take is the fact that these people are showing up in, like, a idea of authority. And they're showing up as like, we're here to investigate and we are here to report on this. And he's like, so British. He always has to go, yes, of course, welcome. Yes, tea biscuits for everyone. Yes, of course. Because they're just like, Locked into every form of social cast.

[Marcus Parks]

Terminal politeness. Yeah, yeah. But the arrival of the middle aged, portly, pipe smoking paranormal investigator seemed to elicit an aggressiveness in Donald the poltergeist. Of course, Sihel Chibbett was not an attractive man.

[Ben Kissel]

Where's a specific look?

[Marcus Parks]

Well the, the, the world of fortean paranormal investigators, it's not full of heartthrobs.

[Ben Kissel]

No, it's for the woman who loves a difficult personality. It's like an exotic nut.

[Marcus Parks]

A difficult personality and let's call it.

[Ben Kissel]

A unique body durian fruit of men.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, her Chibbett was not an attractive man. As opposed to say the dashing young reporter Michael Kirsch. So Donald began making threats saying that there quote, wouldn't be a tomorrow if someone didn't bring Michael Kirsch back to the house. Now the family refused to contact Michael Kirsch but Donald ended up blaming the reporter himself for not showing up in the typically belligerent British poltergeist style. I don't know why British poltergeist are more belligerent, they just are. Donald communicated that he was going to get revenge on Kirsch by quote poking him and suffocating him that very night. It's the first really violent threat that Donald the poltergeist makes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well that in the fire, but I'll ship for it.

[Marcus Parks]

This is a specific. The fire was like, that's more general. This is like I'm going to specifically hurt a person.

[Ben Kissel]

Donald's like, and then, and I, and I can imagine that Harry Chip. It's so used to men casually telling them they're going to kill him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean it just seems like it's Shirley at this point now because she's like, I don't like this ugly guy. Get the cute guy back here.

[Marcus Parks]

It's interesting that, that is, that's the very interesting part of it is because it's as we talk about it more and more it's going to so very obviously become surely. In fact it's going to become more and more obvious that it's surely, as the story goes on.

[Ben Kissel]

But then the activity is also going to get weirder.

[Marcus Parks]

Exactly. And that's the thing. The activity gets weirder, the coincidences get weirder. So it just begs the question of like where is this actually coming from? What is Donald Now? Donald gave up on Kirsch after a few days and instead requested a different reporter named Ronald Maxwell. Although this request also came with a threat. If Maxwell didn't show up, Donald wrote he was going to Set the house on fire. While that sounds like an empty threat, both Shirley and Kitty. Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

He'S bluff.

[Marcus Parks]

Times. Someone has threatened to set my house on fire this week. Seven.

[Ben Kissel]

Seven times. Three different ghosts.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, both Shirley and Kitty reported that later on that evening, after he made the. After Donald made the threat, they both saw green orbs floating in their bedroom. And Again, this is 1956. Orbs are not in the zeitgeist.

[Ben Kissel]

It's very much the Poltergeist 2 movie version of like, you know, when they do that weird energy thing where it moves between or all the. The rooms in the house. Like it feels like that.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like the. Yeah. The end of Poltergeist. The first poltergeist. You know, when, you know, the. The gate gets closed. Yeah. This house is clear. God, I love her. Yeah. But when the requested reporter still didn't show up, Donald the poltergeist apparently attacked one night around 1am Shirley said that she saw another green orb followed by the smell of. Of smoke. She called out for her father. And when Wally burst into the room, he said that Shirley's bed sheets were on fire. He put out the flames. But the fire was big enough where he burned his arms and his hands. The burns were bad enough to take him to the hospital.

[Ben Kissel]

Those are his conducting tools. How is he supposed to pull the horn? How is he supposed to stick his fingers in the mouth of the face.

[Marcus Parks]

Of the train or any boy that happens to be at his stop? You ever sitting there, like in New York, were you ever like, like waiting for the train and the conductor just reaches out and he puts his finger in your mouth?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I always wanted to.

[Ben Kissel]

I just thought that was like a bad thing. I thought that was a G train thing.

[Marcus Parks]

It's the little things you miss about New York City, you know?

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, I miss that guy. Those fit guy sweepers.

[Marcus Parks]

But before you say that Shirley simply lit the fire herself, Wally's injury triggered an official investigation. The fire investigators were entirely unable to determine how the fire started. They tried because, you know, this is a famous case. Everyone, by this point, everyone in London knows about the Battersea poltergeist case. You know, these guys are going, they want an explanation. They cannot find one. Furthermore, the whole family was adamant that Donald had done it and that they were all in grave danger. And so it's with Donald's first act of violence that we'll pick our story back up next week for the conclusion, the story of the Battersea Poltergeist. Because next week we're going to be getting to the French Revolution. We're going to be getting some actual deaths. Many deaths.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Quite a few deaths actually. Yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

I'm kind of excited.

[Marcus Parks]

It's going to be pretty bloody.

[Ben Kissel]

We really like this is the. I can't believe this is the first time I've come across this story like we did.

[Marcus Parks]

I'd always heard about it. Like I've seen it on lists or something. But yeah, it's an insane story. It's ma. It's a massive story.

[Ben Kissel]

And the second half does sort of feel like a psychedelic tumble down to the mind of a 15 year old psychic girl. So it's going to be very, very interesting.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Doesn't she. This happens for 12 years. So eventually she's going to get older obviously.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And you know, does she get married and all that?

[Ben Kissel]

I guess we'll save the idea.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm curious.

[Ben Kissel]

We'll find out. Hey, call us.

[Marcus Parks]

I'll tell you this Eddie. She's still alive.

[Ben Kissel]

She's still alive.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, let's get hitched.

[Ben Kissel]

She's British. As all we go to patreon.com last podcast and 11. You can pay money to watch us talk. You pay watch us money to watch us slop back and forth. Most importantly you can pay money to watch us do last stream on the left live every Tuesday 6pm PST and you can join the chat and yell at us. It's a lot of fun.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And I am definitely going to say this last episode of the stream I had a ton of fun but the majority of it is not making it to YouTube.

[Ben Kissel]

That's so funny.

[Marcus Parks]

The vast majority of it is. It's one of the funnest episodes we've had in forever.

[Ben Kissel]

But.

[Marcus Parks]

But it's just the. The sec. The foot sex toy with the vagina on the sole of the foot and you know, the mouth this. We can't show that on YouTube so the only place you're going to be able to see it is over on Patreon.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, they have zero tolerance for it.

[Ben Kissel]

Thank you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Zero tolerance for giving us something to have zero tolerance about.

[Ben Kissel]

Very much so thanks for all the looby. It is really helping me not stick to this chair and also go check out our YouTube channel. We are currently crazy crushing it over there at LPN tv. Our new LPN RPG Vampire the Masquerade run by Jared Logan. With me, Jackie Zabrowski. Ross Bryant is. I want to say you guys are crushing it. All our guests are amazing in it. Ed was a guest like two episodes ago. Marcus is going to be a reoccurring character. Like I mean technically in the word. He's a recurring character.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh yeah.

[Ben Kissel]

Come and watch it. We are having so much fun over on LPN TV. It's on the YouTube. And then also check out our other new LPN, another new LP, LPN based YouTube channels like someplace underneath. No dogs in space, LPN Romantasy and the Foreign Report.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, man, it's a lot of fun over there. Come see us live. Henry and I got a show in Vegas. I'm very excited about that. December 7th, you can catch us out at Wise Guys in Las Vegas.

[Ben Kissel]

And also just know we are performing way off the strip. So please come there. Like it's going to be nice for those of you that are locals. Like, I know it's a past the airport, but.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But you know, but we're gonna have fun.

[Ben Kissel]

We're gonna have to stick it up.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, no, this is for the locals.

[Ben Kissel]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is necessarily for people visiting. If you are visiting, you can come. But I want some real Vegas Indians.

[Ben Kissel]

That's what I'm looking for.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. And you and check out the rest of us on the road. We got Saturday, November 29th, right after Thanksgiving, we're going to be in Akan, Ohio at the Goodyear Theater.

[Ben Kissel]

Is it a mistake? We say no, no, we're doing it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're doing it. Who gives a? I love tires.

[Ben Kissel]

All right, we all do.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Check out the video. December 12th and 13th, Portland, Oregon.

[Marcus Parks]

Get your tickets fast for Portland, Oregon because the are selling out.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah, those are going to be gone very soon.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, Henry and I show in Columbus. Sold out too. So it's happening, folks. Revolution Hall. Get in there.

[Ben Kissel]

Basically Portland's already sold out at this point. You can buy the last drag link tickets, but go to Akan. Why don't we all go to Akan for the Saturday after Thanksgiving?

[Marcus Parks]

R City.

[Ben Kissel]

You are going to be so happy to be outside of your home and away from your family in Akan. You just leave whatever home you're at. Leave whatever place you're at. The up come from Wyoming, come from South Dakota, Rubber City. There's a lot of places that you could drive from. Akron, Delaware.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right.

[Ben Kissel]

A lot of horrible places will never go.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, the Delaware people, I want you coming to Philadelphia. January 31st, we're going to be at the Met in Philadelphia. That's going to be a big ass.

[Ben Kissel]

Show and we're going to do something fun for that. But I don't know what that is yet.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh yeah. February 28th, Austin, Texas. March 13th, Indianapolis. April 20th, 25th, Cincinnati, Ohio. I can't wait for that. Friday, May 29th, we're gonna be in Pittsburgh. June 27th, Grand Rapids, Michigan. July 17th, Tulsa, Oklahoma. And July 18th, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

[Ben Kissel]

I cannot believe we're actually in Grand Rapids at an actual normal human time to be inside of Grand Rapids.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. What. What month are we going to be there? June.

[Henry Zebrowski]

June.

[Ben Kissel]

Oh, wow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, it's going to be nice.

[Ben Kissel]

We might actually like. It's nice there because we went during. The last time we were there was during a snowstorm and it was honestly a blast.

[Marcus Parks]

You know what? I have no memory of that.

[Ben Kissel]

You weren't there. Oh, you were sick.

[Marcus Parks]

I was sick. That's right. That's when I had long coveted. I mean, I'm sick again now, but now it's long Covid now.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Regular normal Sick in the head normal.

[Ben Kissel]

Unbridled strength of a thousand thousand sons. We love you. Hail sake.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, hell game. Why not?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I guess hair. Hail Harry the first. Harry. Harry Hanks.

[Ben Kissel]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Good work.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Choo Choo man. I like that.

[Ben Kissel]

Can you believe this? Can you ever heard about this? He just became Jay Leno. You guys heard about this?

[Marcus Parks]

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[Ben Kissel]

Book [e-mail] hi, I'm Jenny Slate and.

[Marcus Parks]

Believe it or not, someone is allowing.

[Ben Kissel]

Us to have a podcast.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm Gabe Wiedman.

[Ben Kissel]

I'm Max Silvestri and we've been friends for 20 years and we like to reach out to kind of get advice on how to live our lives. It's called I need you guys. Should I give my baby fresh vegetables? Can I drink the water at the hospital? My landlord plays the trombone and I can't ask him to stop. You should make sure that you subscribe so that you never miss an episode.