Episode 654: Topsy the Elephant

Summary

Last Podcast On The Left – Episode 654: Topsy the Elephant

Release Date: February 27, 2026
Hosts: Marcus Parks, Henry Zebrowski, Edwin Ewing

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Overview

This episode of Last Podcast On The Left delves into the tragic and brutal history of elephants used in human entertainment, focusing on the infamous story of Topsy the Elephant, a circus elephant executed in Coney Island in 1903. The hosts—Marcus, Henry, and Ed—blend dark humor, historical research, and social critique to explore the intersection of animal cruelty, spectacle, and the bizarre moral logic of early 20th century America.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Strange Relationship Between Elephants and Humans

• Elephant Basics & Behavior
  • Asian and African elephants: differences in size, cultural use, and violence statistics.
  • Elephants as highly intelligent, emotional, and sometimes very dangerous creatures.
  • "In Africa, elephants kill about 500 people annually." (06:24 - Marcus)
  • Asian elephants are implicated in even more human deaths annually, often due to population density and domestication (08:06).
  • Discussion of "musth": the period when male elephants are hyper-aggressive and hormonal—"testosterone can be up to a hundred times greater than usual." (12:15 - Marcus)
• Rogue Elephants & Notorious Incidents
  • Stories about rogue elephants named "Osama bin Laden" in India, responsible for multiple fatalities and legendary among locals (13:32-15:26).
  • "He killed 22 people in 10 days… only has one tusk." (15:01 - Marcus)
  • The infamous case of an elephant who killed a woman at a well, then returned to her funeral to attack her corpse—a chilling example of elephant memory and aggression (16:14-18:09).

Elephant Execution as Spectacle & Punishment

• Historical Elephant Executions
  • Execution by elephant as a death penalty in Southeast Asia and India dating back centuries—elephants trained for torture as public spectacle (19:21-29:45).
  • Emperor Jahangir of India used elephants not just for executions but creative torture, such as tossing people, impaling them with blade-fitted tusks, and skinning them alive:
    • "His staff would then stuff them with hay and feed them to dogs." (27:36 - Marcus)
  • Discussion of how these events were societal entertainment, akin to public executions in Europe and America, and the overlap between animal cruelty and human cruelty for audience amusement.

War Elephants & the March of Progress

• Elephants in Warfare
  • From ancient times until the advent of cannons and firearms, elephants were essentially "living tanks" and deployed by civilizations such as the Indian kings, Persians, and Alexander the Great (33:25-35:58).
  • With technological advances, the role of war elephants faded, and their value shifted towards ivory rather than utility (37:03-37:16).

The Tragic Tale of Topsy the Elephant

• Topsy’s Origins & American Showbiz
  • Stolen from the wild in 1875 and smuggled from Asia to Germany to America; quickly commodified for show business by Carl Hagenbeck, "the Jeffrey Epstein of exotic animals," and and later American circuses (38:08-44:44).
  • Her name, appropriated from Uncle Tom’s Cabin, and the constant marketing lies about her background.
• Incidents and Reputation
  • Series of violent incidents attributed to Topsy, with her most infamous being the killing of a drunken man in Brooklyn who taunted her and tried to force her to drink whiskey and eat a lit cigarette (45:41-46:32).
  • "Topsy then picked up Blunt with her trunk, slammed it to the ground and headbutted him to death." (46:32 - Marcus)
• Circus, Abuse, and Escalation
  • Chronic abuse and neglect by her handlers, particularly the notorious Whitey Alt, led to more public incidents, culminating with Topsy rampaging into a police station (54:47-57:04).
• The Execution: Media Spectacle
  • Unable to rehome Topsy due to her reputation, Luna Park owners chose public execution as a marketing stunt for their new amusement park, promising a spectacle for 25 cents admission (57:42-58:29).
  • Massive public anticipation and intervention by the ASPCA, resulting in plans to first poison, then hang, and ultimately electrocute her—often all at once, for maximum effect (58:51-66:55).
  • "The official plan was to feed Topsy carrots laced with 460 grams with cyanide, walk her over a bridge to the electrical tower, hang her from it, and then electrocute her for good measure." (66:40 - Marcus)
• The Execution Explained
  • Carried out on January 4, 1903, witnessed by about 100 people in person and thousands more observing from outside and rooftops.
  • Topsy was electrocuted with 6,600 volts, her body hung by a steam-powered winch, then autopsied and her remains used for trophies (70:19-71:37).
  • Edison’s role: Often blamed, but in reality, he only profited from filming the event and was not directly involved (73:56-74:43).
  • "The execution was filmed and turned into a 74 second movie... Electrocuted Shooting an Elephant. It did not run long because it was not very popular." (72:10 - Marcus)

Other Elephant Executions and American Morality

• The Case of Murderous Mary & More
  • The 1916 lynching of "Murderous Mary" in Tennessee after she killed an abusive handler—brutally hung in front of 2,500 people, and her body examined only afterward to confirm her pain was caused by a rotten tooth where she’d been prodded (75:03-77:17).
  • At least 36 public elephant executions occurred in the US between the 1880s and 1920s, often as "punishment" for not performing or for retaliating against abuse (77:37-78:26).
• Reflection on Animal Exploitation
  • Persistent theme: The arbitrary, cruel logic used to justify animal mistreatment for entertainment, profit, or spectacle.
  • Modern reflection: Even as late as the 1990s, elephants like Tyke were still killed after rampaging due to circus stress (81:00-81:22).
  • Ringling Bros. and other circuses forced by law and public outcry to retire elephants (80:36-80:55).

The Critique of Trophy Hunting and Conservation Excuses

• Celebrity and Royal Trophy Hunts
  • Criticism of Trump’s reversal of ivory import bans and high-profile trophy hunters claiming their actions "help conservation by funding reserves" (83:35-85:24).
  • Marcus’s personal disdain: "As someone who has been on safari in Africa, there wasn’t one moment when I thought, man, it’d be pretty cool to shoot that elephant in its huge, beautiful brain." (85:24)
• Animal Rights and Societal Values
  • The ethics of using wild animals for entertainment, killing for sport, and the need for genuine conservation:
    • "The animal kingdom deserves our respect. So maybe it’s time to throw some of these sad, weak-ass poachers and politicians to the elephant garden." (86:34-87:01 - Marcus)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On elephant violence:
  “They are huge, brilliant, loyal, emotional, and most importantly, violent creatures.” (03:29 – Marcus)
• On the execution of Topsy:
  “You can’t buy this type of publicity.” (50:18 – Forepaugh, paraphrased by Marcus)
• Rogue elephants:
  “This rogue elephant killed 22 people in 10 days. He is believed to be currently in must. He must be, as well as being rogue, and only has one tusk.” (15:01 – Marcus)
• Spectacle of public cruelty:
  “Execution was entertainment.” (25:29 – Ed)
• Topsy’s final moments:
  “The event commenced. So the official plan was to feed Topsy carrots laced with 460 grams of cyanide, walk her over a bridge to the electrical tower, hang her from it, and then electrocute her for good measure.” (66:40 – Marcus)
• On trophy hunting:
  “If you go on a plane to go hunt on another continent, you can suck my balls.” (85:44 – Henry)
• Closing moral:
  “The animal kingdom deserves our respect. So maybe it’s time to throw some of these sad, weak-ass poachers and politicians to the elephant garden.” (87:01 – Marcus)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic | |---------------|-------------------------------------------------------| | 02:13 | Episode Introduction: Focus on elephants | | 06:01 | Elephants vs. vehicles – a size comparison | | 08:06 | Asian elephants and their interactions with humans | | 13:32 | Indian Rogue Elephants: Osama bin Laden legend | | 16:14 | The "revenge" elephant at the funeral pyre | | 19:21 | Elephant executions in Southeast Asia | | 25:11 | Emperor Jahangir’s "elephant garden" executions | | 33:25 | Elephants in war, ancient to WWII | | 38:08 | Topsy’s origin story | | 45:41 | Topsy kills the drunken antagonist | | 54:47 | Topsy is sold to Coney Island/Luna Park | | 57:42 | Decision for Topsy’s public execution | | 66:40 | The execution plan in detail | | 70:19 | Topsy’s death and its aftermath | | 73:56 | Edison’s real (limited) involvement | | 75:03 | Murderous Mary’s lynching in Tennessee | | 77:37 | The history of elephant executions in America | | 80:36 | Modern circus elephant retirements | | 83:35 | Trophy hunting and conservation debate | | 86:34 | Final moral and call to respect wildlife |

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Tone and Style

As always, the Last Podcast on the Left masterfully balances macabre historical content with sardonic humor, improvisational riffs, and the hosts’ signature irreverence toward authority—whether circuses, politicians, or trophy hunters. While the subject matter is grim, the delivery is brisk, conversational, and often self-deprecating, inviting listeners to both reckon with the horror and laugh at the absurdity.

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Final Thoughts

This episode provides a sobering yet wildly entertaining exploration of how the monstrous treatment of elephants in entertainment both reflected and fueled darker elements of human culture: cruelty, spectacle, and exploitative capitalism. In telling Topsy's story and others like hers, the hosts challenge us to reconsider our responsibilities toward the animal world, even as they gleefully riff on history’s absurdities. The lesson lingers: “Throw them to the elephant garden”—but let’s hope, at last, it’s the abusers and exploiters who end up there, not the elephants.

Transcript

[Marcus Parks]

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[Henry Zebrowski]

ABC Wednesdays in comedian Nate Brigetzi's new

[Marcus Parks]

game show, to win, you don't need to know the right answer, just what

[Henry Zebrowski]

most Americans think is right. It's not about being the smartest.

[Marcus Parks]

You just have to be the most average.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We asked 100 average Americans, do they

[Edwin Ewing]

keep an empty gas can in their car?

[Ad Read 1]

No.

[Marcus Parks]

Have they ever broken a bone? No. I said a lot of no. That's all right.

[Edwin Ewing]

My wife says a lot of no as well.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The greatest Average American. Wednesdays 9, 8 Central on ABC and stream next day on Hulu.

[Edwin Ewing]

There's no place to escape to.

[Marcus Parks]

This is the last on the left.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started.

[Marcus Parks]

What was that?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't care if I run into Alec. Murder.

[Edwin Ewing]

No, no, no, no. Cuz if you have, if you do means you've committed murder in South Carolina.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hey, hopefully.

[Marcus Parks]

Or you're visiting.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thanks for the content.

[Marcus Parks]

If you're in town.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Are you guys ready?

[Edwin Ewing]

Ready.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So should I not do any of my crow or raven characters in this?

[Marcus Parks]

No. No. Well, maybe if you change the voice a little bit. Maybe if you use the Hong Kong Henry Zaprowski voice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, then that's fine.

[Ad Read 2]

Right?

[Henry Zebrowski]

They'll all cancel each other out.

[Edwin Ewing]

Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Ok. If you use one racist voice to replace another racist voice, maybe it can work out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

60.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

At 60.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. And we are focusing more on Asian elephants than African elephants today.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is my

[Edwin Ewing]

welcome to last podcast on the left. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with Henry Zabrowski. Wayne is options. What have you come upon? What have you settled on?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'll tell you what, the next time you're more likely to see an elephant fly than you hear me do an Asian accent again into a microphone. I save it for my family now.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Time for my family. My dentist. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Strictly by facts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

My dentist loves it. God, he loves it.

[Edwin Ewing]

Today, Ed Larson, the man across from me is the man with the script. This is an Edlet episode. We're taking a bit of a break from the Dupont saga and Ed, what do you got for us today? I can't wait for this. This is going to be so much fun.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, there. That was just Ed. Ed's just trying to fit back into the cherry. He a drink? Elephants. Elephants.

[Marcus Parks]

I love elephants. Today, the star of our show is going to be Topsy the Elephant. But we'll get into her a little bit later. But I wanted to tell you guys, you know me, I like these animals.

[Edwin Ewing]

You love these animals.

[Marcus Parks]

You do love animals, especially when they big. But elephants are some of the most interesting mammals on Earth. They're huge, brilliant, loyal, emotional, and most importantly, violent creatures. Yeah, listen, I ain't no elephant biologist, so I ain't gonna get lost in the weeds explaining to you how elephant trunks have over150,000 muscle units and are the most sensitive organ for found in any animal.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But wait a second. It's most sensitive organ. But what about the comedian's heart?

[Edwin Ewing]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I could go on and on about

[Marcus Parks]

how elephants are considered one of the smartest animals on earth that have funerals and have been theorized to have telepathic abilities. What?

[Henry Zebrowski]

I ain't gonna talk about that. I feel like this is. Now he's in his own elephant UFO territory. Like once he starts the elephant telepathy tape. And we're gonna have to cancel our tour.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, that is all very cool stuff, but this is the last podcast on the left, and we are here to talk about death. Sure. Yes. And we are not going to discriminate. We're killing both elephants and humans today.

[Edwin Ewing]

Great.

[Marcus Parks]

If you crave just raw elephant info, go listen to Elephant Tales or the Global Rumblings podcast. That's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Are they real?

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, those are real podcasts that I decided to shout out and, you know, for eleph facts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But you do know anything about them? You don't know whether or not they

[Marcus Parks]

could all be murderers and rapists.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You can't.

[Marcus Parks]

But they do talk about elephants scientifically a lot.

[Edwin Ewing]

Okay. And I know every single niche interest has 50 to 3,000 podcasts about it. So are these the two best elephant podcasts or are these just two that you chose at random?

[Marcus Parks]

Two of the top three results on Google.

[Edwin Ewing]

Absolutely.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And there's nothing corrupt in it? No, nothing at all.

[Marcus Parks]

Today I didn't use a particular book or documentary as a source. I just researched to the best of my ability about stories that intrigued me and found some even crazier ones along the way. So let's get this pachyderma stomping in true Marcus Parks fashion with a little Context.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, Elephant.

[Edwin Ewing]

Context.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Elephant.

[Marcus Parks]

That's right, man. It's big. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Slide right in. Very similar to a human vagina.

[Marcus Parks]

You can put your whole head in

[Henry Zebrowski]

there if you've got.

[Marcus Parks]

Elephants can be found naturally in Asia and Africa. Africa has two types of elephants, bush and forest elephants, which can get as large as 13, 000 pounds. In Africa, elephants are the third most deadly mammal after humans and hippos. In Africa, elephants kill about 500 people annually.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Cool.

[Marcus Parks]

But today we're going to focus on Asian elephants. At about 8, 000 pounds, Asian elephants are smaller than their. But they are the elephants we're more familiar with as far as circus performers go.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Even though they could be £5,000 smaller than African bush elephants, they are still extremely deadly. To help put their sheer size in perspective, a Honda CRV weighs roughly 3,500 pounds. But to the CRV's credit, it has great trunk space.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Absolutely. And it doesn't have spongy reactions. This guy doesn't have horrible brakes, like maybe a formation. Toyota Rack RAV4. And I feel that if a Toyota RAV4 and an elephant were to go against each other, the elephant would win.

[Marcus Parks]

The elephant would destroy the RAV4 and

[Henry Zebrowski]

the CRV and hopefully and kill the driver and the passengers.

[Marcus Parks]

Children often. Awesome.

[Edwin Ewing]

Eddie, could you give me a little bit more of a lean forward when you say trunk space?

[Marcus Parks]

Trunk space.

[Edwin Ewing]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Marcus Parks]

CRV also has great trunk space.

[Edwin Ewing]

Thank you.

[Marcus Parks]

More dumb jokes to come.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I see. I was just more thinking about Toyota RAV fours and a field of them on fire and all of the people inside of them never being able to vote again.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Amen. That's what we need to do. And actually should be starting about 35 minutes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thank you.

[Edwin Ewing]

And, you know, the thing is about a smaller elephant is going to be. A smaller elephant's gonna, I think, going to be more dangerous than a larger elephant.

[Marcus Parks]

Maneuverable. You know, they still got tusks and they're a little more angry.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I get it.

[Marcus Parks]

Asian elephants are mostly found in India, Thailand, Nepal and Sri Lanka. The smaller Asian elephant is responsible for as many as 750 deaths annually. 50% more than their African cousins. There are several subspecies of Asian elephants, and without getting too much into the genealogy weeds, we're going to be talking about Asian elephants as a whole.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now, that's not. That's not racist.

[Marcus Parks]

Do not accuse me of being an elephant racist.

[Henry Zebrowski]

There's nothing racist about not a scientist.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm just obsessed with huge living creatures killing humans.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

And that makes you woke, I think.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I think so.

[Marcus Parks]

I think it does.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Disgusting. I at least told you there's a

[Marcus Parks]

difference between the Asian and the African ones.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, we know.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Obviously we know that humans have been killing, kidnapping, and torturing all animals and especially elephants ever since we've figured out how to do so. When it comes to killing elephants for their ivory, that is much more popular in Africa than it is in Asia. And in a positive spin, those numbers are going way down. But they are extremely high still.

[Edwin Ewing]

How does it, like in the, like, let's say the cutting off gorilla paws for, you know, to make medicine and such. Where are elephant tusks on that scale?

[Marcus Parks]

It's much worse.

[Edwin Ewing]

Much worse.

[Marcus Parks]

Much. It's much, much worse. It's, it's a, it's a horrible thing. You know, the, the exact. Seems to be impossible to find. Sure. Current estimates suggest that up to 15,000 elephants are killed for their tusks and skin in Africa every year, or 41 a day. In peak poaching years, that number was expected to be around 40,000.

[Edwin Ewing]

And that's when we were making like every piano was made with, you know, with elephant tusks.

[Marcus Parks]

Honestly, back then it was probably worse than that. You know, 40,000, I'm talking like, that's like the 70s.

[Edwin Ewing]

Gotcha.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Do you think this is the speech that the 22 year olds have to hear from Leo before they're allowed to see the apartment?

[Marcus Parks]

I'm sure that's about global warming.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

In Asia, those numbers are actually much lower at around 500 poached elephants a year. Why are the numbers of human deaths in Asia larger than Africa? Well, I think you could chalk a lot of that up to population density, especially when it comes to India.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sure.

[Marcus Parks]

Also, Asian elephants are captured and trained more than they are hunted for their tusks. And. And so at a smaller size, they're also domesticated at higher rates, thus raising their numbers of interactions with humans.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I find it interesting that in Asia they, they poach so many elephants because I really prefer them sunny side up.

[Marcus Parks]

It's better that way.

[Henry Zebrowski]

God damn it.

[Marcus Parks]

It's a big pan. It's a big pan. Asian elephants mostly attack in two ways. Female elephants attack whenever they feel their young could be in danger. And male elephants are known attacked when they're going through what is called must. Must. Must be said with a lisp. And in its simplest definition is when male elephants are in heat. All right, Moths. Must. I hate that word. But you know, it is what it is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You must say it again and again

[Marcus Parks]

can last up to 16 weeks. And it is best to be nowhere near bull elephants during this time. Moths have been known in Asian elephants for over 3,000 years, but only recently in African elephants. For some reason that I don't understand,

[Henry Zebrowski]

the fever is like the spread of hiv.

[Marcus Parks]

You could tell an elephant is in must when they are irritable with horniness and leaking a skunky smelling thick tar like substance called temporin from their four foot penises.

[Edwin Ewing]

So they get really irritable and angry and their dick starts dripping.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's dude period. Yeah, that's called. That's a dude period, y'.

[Marcus Parks]

All.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And that ain't fair.

[Edwin Ewing]

And it smells like skunk and it's thick and it's tar.

[Marcus Parks]

It's kind of like going to dinner with Ron Jeremy when the waitress isn't being attentive.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want. Can I have more napkins for my friend Row.

[Marcus Parks]

During both male elephants testosterone can be up to a hundred times greater than usual. They randomly attack other animals, humans, other elephants, cars, or anything else that might piss off these randy behemoths. You know, that's, that's pretty amazing.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, like just the idea of just how horny these men are.

[Marcus Parks]

They go out there, you got to really do it. Do we gotta jerk these things off in zoos? Yeah, yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

In zoos they absolutely have to do it.

[Marcus Parks]

Another cause of human deaths by elephants are by what are called rogue elephants.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I bet sugar.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Rogue elephants are indeed rare, but real nevertheless.

[Edwin Ewing]

Rogue. From the X Men.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, I understand. Yeah, you bet sugar. Don't touch them.

[Edwin Ewing]

I don't know where all these edaphone come from.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I gotta get my rogue costume.

[Marcus Parks]

So. One of my favorite rogue elephants was one that killed 27 people in the state of of Assam in India from 2004 to 2006 until it was eventually tracked down, shot and killed. Feared by locals, this rogue elephant was given the name Osama bin Laden.

[Edwin Ewing]

That's incredible that it was named that in India.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, he's notorious.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah. Pakistan. Yeah, right there.

[Marcus Parks]

Neighbors.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

During the final six months of his life, Osama bin Laden the elephant killed 14 people people. Rogue elephants are not scared of much and can attack indiscriminately. Usually an elephant will be scared off by firecrackers, but Bin Laden could give a. Yeah. Wonder why.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, seem to really like him.

[Marcus Parks]

Eventually, a hunting party was sent out to kill Osama bin Laden and he was shot down by a team of men. But many believe that they killed the Wrong elephant. And Bin Laden is still at large.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Where's the body? Yeah, where's the body?

[Marcus Parks]

Probably in the Indian Ocean. Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

Did they dump this elephant in the ocean too, without any letting anyone look at it?

[Marcus Parks]

I think they just left it in the field. Probably, I imagine rotted. It's interesting. A lot of these elephant news stories. Not much detail.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, a couple things got lost in

[Marcus Parks]

translation over multiple oceans.

[Edwin Ewing]

I get it. Yeah. And then it's not like there's like a New York Times elephant reporter who's like, really on the elephant beat.

[Marcus Parks]

That's my job.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah, it's true.

[Marcus Parks]

Now, Osama Bin Laden, or just Laden, is often a name given to murderous rogue elders elephants. The most recent rogue Bin Laden is still on the loose as of January 18, 2026. This rogue elephant killed 22 people in 10 days. He is believed to be currently in moth. He must be as well as being rogue and only has one tusk.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Whoa. Like Hitler,

[Marcus Parks]

he has been killing people by trampling indiscriminately. Apparently, he killed four members of the same family. So if you happen to be in Chuk to India and see him run and report him to India's Seal Team 6. Maybe after he's caught, Henry will be able to read his mammoth Festo.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Funny, funny, funny stuff. My only thing is, is I don't know what those seals are going to do against a giant, horny, raging elephant.

[Marcus Parks]

It's a good point. It's a good point.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Takes a man to shoot an elephant in the head.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. We'll never catch him, though. He's still on the loose. He's a regular zodiac killer.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's, that's, that's stupid stup. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, there's also the incredible story of the elephant from the Odisha state of India, which is what I'm guessing a rogue elephant or was. Another elephant fueled with moths and temperin randomly killed an elderly woman named Maya Mermu. Ms. Murmu, who was collecting water from a well, minding her own business. And then out of nowhere, this pachyderm escaped from a local sanctuary.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sorry.

[Marcus Parks]

Something about Ms. Murmu pissed him off and. And he indiscriminately beat and stomped her to death. She was taken to a local hospital, but then succumbed to her wounds there. Pretty straightforward elephant murder story. But here comes the fun twist. Then, during a public funeral, that very same elephant came back and rampaged the funeral, picking up her dead body from the funeral pyre and slammed and trampled her body again for good measure. It simply then laughed and Was never saw again. He must have hated her.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I honestly want to know what she did.

[Edwin Ewing]

Well, I mean, I was gonna ask you because I've recently learned I watched a video on why raccoons can never be domesticated. And they say one of the reasons why is because raccoons are one of the few animals that have a concept of revenge.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Edwin Ewing]

They don't forget. So if you fuck. If you up with a dog, like, the dog's not gonna forget. Well, that's just not gonna care. But a raccoon will take revenge on you every time. Do elephants have a concept of revenge?

[Marcus Parks]

You know, elephants never forget or forgive.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And honestly, that's a big burden on the elephant. That's a big burden on the soul of an elephant. You should let go. You should learn to forgive, move on.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, I thought that she had wronged. Because I knew this story before we'd covered it in Round table forever ago. And I was just like. I was like, she must have done something wrong. But it just seems like the elephant wanted the water she had.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It seems she was wrong place, wrong time.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And that was the elephant's water.

[Marcus Parks]

Water.

[Edwin Ewing]

So, yeah. Was she hoarding resources from the elephant?

[Marcus Parks]

It was a well. So I don't know how long this elephant's trunk was, but maybe, maybe he could have used her help.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Maybe he saw her delicately balanced on the edge of the well. Maybe he saw a breeze sort of blown through the village and had grown up in her. Her, I guess you'd say her ritual garb you could see, actually has a pair of brand new shiny pantyhose. And maybe he thought, oh, well, I should go and enter that woman.

[Marcus Parks]

You never know.

[Edwin Ewing]

You never know, you never know. Sometimes you do think here we can say that there was no sexual attraction between the elephant.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And there's nothing sexual about being fascinated of the sheen of pantyhose.

[Marcus Parks]

You love pantyhose. No, I just love it's containing. Now, apparently in history, every time an Asian elephant killed someone, it was not the elephant's own lust for murder. But. But until the early 20th century, some South Asian cultures used elephants as a form of execution. I didn't know about any of this.

[Edwin Ewing]

I actually didn't know about this either. And I'm a bit of a student of execution.

[Marcus Parks]

This was not really seen often in Africa, except around 240 BC in Carthage. But that's the story for another trunk. Execution by elephant seemed to be a tactic primarily seen in Burma, India, Thailand and Sri Lanka. Each were similar in the basic fact that elephant. Big human, small elephant, crush human.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It does.

[Marcus Parks]

But let's not discredit all of them. Each had their own methods of torture and execution by way of elephant.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Cool.

[Marcus Parks]

You want to hear them?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yay.

[Marcus Parks]

What we're here for.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Stomped their balls. Stomp their head. They fucking eat their balls. They ate their head.

[Marcus Parks]

Close. Wow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, I feel like it's also the same as is how many executions were applied by horse?

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yes, very much so.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So I imagine that that to be honest, I bet you that's a little bit even more humane by elephant than by horse.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah. Than being ripped apart by four wild

[Henry Zebrowski]

horses running in separate directions.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm going to tell you why it's not. Well, from your grave, this call is super cheap. That's right, because you're using mint Mobile. Do people like talking to you because you have fresh, minty breath? Yes. Because you just got a phone with mint mobile. How nice. I hate my old phone. Sometimes I pull it out of a drawer just to yell at it, scream at it. Why are you so expensive? Why did you do this to me? I didn't want to pay those premiums. And then I put it back in the drawer and I lock it and it stays in its prison. And I pull out my other phone, my sleek, sexy, six packed Ryan Reynolds phone. And I look at it and I say, thank you for being my phone. And then I kiss it. And it likes it. And then it kisses me back. Ready to stop paying more than you have to? New customers can make the switch today and for a limited time get unlimited premium wireless for just 15amonth. Switch [e-mail] LPOTL that's mintmobile.com LPOTL upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan required. It's 15amonth. Equivalent taxes and fees extra initial planned term only over 50 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy. Capable device required availability, speed and coverage var additional terms apply. See mintmobile.com exhausted from spending half your night cooking.

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[Marcus Parks]

Well, a lot of what we know about elephant executions comes from the captain's log of Alexander Hamilton. Not Alexander Hamilton, the rapper.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, my favorite rapper. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

No, no, the Alexa. This Alexander Hamilton was captain for the wonderful East India Trading Company. Remember those sweethearts?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, Nutmeg.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. He wrote a book. The book was called A new account of the East Indies, which now is very old. He had a couple entries where Hamilton talked about witnessing execution by elephant. Here is a quote from his book about the elephant execution he witnessed in Siam, currently referred to as Thailand for treason and murder.

[Edwin Ewing]

The elephant is the executioner. The condemned person is made fast to a stake, driven into the ground for the purpose, and the elephant is brought to view him and goes twice or thrice around him. And when the elephant's keeper speaks to the monstrous executioner, he twines his trunk round the person and stake and pulling the stake from the ground with great violence tosses the man and the stake into the air and in coming down receives him on his teeth and making him off again, puts one of his 4ft feet on the carcass and squeezes it flat.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What if he doesn't catch him, throw him off and just catch him on the teeth and he can just bounce off. I guess they just throw him up again.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, it just lands on the ground and they does whatever it wants with them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow, that's cool.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah, he's still gonna get hurt real bad before he dies.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I always like this idea too that they sounds all organized and stuff, but it's really just like this elephant just kills the out of this guy. Yeah, yeah, it does.

[Edwin Ewing]

It does boil down to elephant up that guy.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ye, yeah. Throws him over the air and stomps his head.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, Check out this guy. In the early 1600s, getting thrown to the elephant garden was a popular execution doled out by the very ruthless yet intriguing emperor Changir.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ooh. Jahangir.

[Marcus Parks]

Jahangir, who many said would kill criminals by elephant for his own amusement.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's awesome. Elephant garden, fucking execution dome. It's the coolest fucking shit on the face of the fucking planet. That's what I want do to. To do to the government.

[Edwin Ewing]

I mean.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, I mean, at the end of

[Edwin Ewing]

the day, much execution is entertainment. At least it was for thousands upon thousands of years in humanity. So whether it's for the education of one man or the education of the masses, it must be remembered that execution was entertainment.

[Marcus Parks]

Absolutely.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was for teaching lessons.

[Edwin Ewing]

Then why did people have picnics?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Because they had a lot. Because it does. You absorb while you're eating sandwiches. A little more ketchup, please.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Emperor John Aguirre loved here he ain't alive. He don't know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He doesn't know if you're a boot liquor for Empire. Jahangir, you can suck my ball.

[Marcus Parks]

So Emperor Jahangir loved elephants and had over a hundred and thirteen thousand in captivity. 12,000 he used as battle elephants. 1,000 he kept just to his battle elephants. And then hundred thousand he used to like, carry. Then of course, he had a couple more that were highly trained for his public executions.

[Edwin Ewing]

That's his killing elephants.

[Marcus Parks]

Absolutely. His favorite, I'm sure.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

So since the Emperor was such a connoisseur of elephants, when it came to execution, he wasn't just a crush him and forget him type of dude.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He.

[Marcus Parks]

He got creative with it, attaching blades to the elephant's tusks and hooves. Elephants were then taught to rip people limb from limb with their sharpened armor.

[Edwin Ewing]

Like Dino Wars.

[Marcus Parks]

Dud, dude. It's crazy and terrifying and I love it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, it's awesome. I just wonder what it's like to try if they don't want to go no more. That's the problem.

[Marcus Parks]

The thing is, the elephants, because they were like, get rewarded. They liked it. From all reports, it seemed like the elephants were having fun.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, I bet.

[Marcus Parks]

I bet when someone was tossed to the elephant garden, there would be a trainer riding the elephant and command the elephant to kill the wretch. And the elephant would then pick the person up with their trunk, throw them in the air and impale them on their tusks when they came down. The elephant would then cut the victim into pieces, throwing their limbs into the crowd watching.

[Edwin Ewing]

There was a splash zone.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. It is legend that sometimes Emperor John Gineer would order the elephant to skin people alive. His staff would then stuff them with hay and feed them to dogs. Dogs.

[Edwin Ewing]

So that's nice for everyone but the dog.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah, because he got all that hay.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah. The dog thinks it's gonna be eating a dude and he's just gets hay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We get some outside skin and then the hay is good for fiber.

[Marcus Parks]

I didn't understand why you would stuff him with hay and then the dogs would eat them. Yeah, it didn't make much sense to me.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Again, we're just talking about fun. Yeah, we're just talking about, like, why do people do anything?

[Ad Read 2]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, why does that. Why do. It's like Bob Dylan do the fun thing where he used to put a cigarette. Cigarette. In the frets of his guitar. It's fun to do.

[Marcus Parks]

It looks cool.

[Edwin Ewing]

It does look cool. Yeah. Well, I also don't know if the elephants knew how to skin a man alive.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, apparently their hooves had, like, sharpened points on it and they would, like, skin the people.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And, like, I don't think it was done expertly. I don't think you can make them

[Marcus Parks]

expertly, but they are surprisingly nimble with their trunks. And like, if you remember Telecom, he was able to pull out one testicle from that guy's balls. True. So, you know, these big animals, you never know what they're able to do.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You really never know.

[Marcus Parks]

If you remember in our Saints episode, we talked about torture on the wheel.

[Edwin Ewing]

Oh, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

You know, that's where they would strap you to a whale, break your bones, be bad. Well, in the 1810s India, there was a report of something similar to the wheel, but with an elephant. You see, in this instance, the elephant wasn't just the executioner, but the torturer as well. The elephant was trained to inflict the most pain possible, all whilst not killing the victim. Victim. Elephants were so smart, they could comprehend where and when to step on a person while inflicting the most pain. And then when told to finish the person off, it would then step on their organs, or their head was placed on a stump and the elephant would crush it with glee until there was nothing left.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, again, if anybody could love their job as much as an elephant, loved being an executioner, the whole world would be better.

[Edwin Ewing]

I mean, at this point, like, is there. I can't think of any other animal that is trained in the ways of humanity this much like that is trained to kill. And not just kill, but to torture and enjoy it. That's incredible.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I will say probably the closest you'd put to it is dogs. Like, you'd probably. Dogs like police dogs, hunting dogs that are literally designed over time to Bite the fuck out of you. And dogs also have such extreme fine control over their mouths, which is why it's such a significant question when you bit by a dog is if they broke the skin or not. Because that really shows the very distinct difference between an unhinged dog and a not hidden. Because they actually can control whether or not they're going to break your skin. Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

But is the dog trained for torture? Because this is this.

[Marcus Parks]

Usually dogs are just trained to eat and attack.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

I've never heard of a dog being trained for torture.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, I could. Carvey goes, if there's a sound, if there's a boot, you know, that's torture.

[Marcus Parks]

Torture.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah, I suppose so. But I mean, this is something incredible because you can't train. You can't train like a chimp to do this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If you give me 10 chihuahua. So break a man's mind.

[Marcus Parks]

I bet you could train a chimp to do this.

[Edwin Ewing]

A young chimp.

[Marcus Parks]

A young.

[Edwin Ewing]

Because you know, at one point, chimp stop listening to you.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Don't lift your tits off your eyeballs out.

[Marcus Parks]

A lot of elephants are stolen from the wild at like an adult age and are trained at an adult age. They're easily. Not easily, but they could be manipulated. They are very smart, though. One of the smartest mammals in the world and they have 11 pound brains, which is one of the biggest.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Which is pretty cool stuff.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's a lot of jelly.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. There was the story of a slave that killed his master and was sentenced to death by elephant. They laid him on the ground and tied three ropes to his legs and arm. And then those ropes were tied to a ring on the elephant's hind leg. He then walked across a 500 yard field over the course of an hour. Every couple of steps the elephant took, it would dislocate his limbs from hip or shoulder. His elbows and his knees came out of socket while he was very much awake for the entire process. By the end of the march, the man was covered head to toe in mud and was screaming in unspeakable pain.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, that's not unspeakable pain. I have the true mind of a sultan.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. He was screaming in pain. Because he was saying the words. Word very loudly.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Let's think about this for a second.

[Marcus Parks]

Ow. But he was then put out of his misery when the elephant was instructed to step on his head until it was soup.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Eventually, in the late 19th century, this form of execution ended in India and Sri Lanka only when the British found it to be too cruel.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah. When the British are telling you to calm down in that. In this time period in the late 19th century. Yeah. You're. You're going pretty far.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're going very, very far. Well, I, I believe perhaps elephant is a bit. My question also, aren't elephants cute? Such thing, such thing with these wonderful cool animals.

[Edwin Ewing]

And also you can just shoot him, shoot him.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I do like how you make them slaves. That's quite, quite. And how wonderful it would be to outfit some human slaves with giant mandibles in order to act my revenge upon others. Oh, now I'm saying inside th.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, elephants were. They weren't just executioners. They were also famously used in war almost as like giant living tanks.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

This is something that had been done as early as 6th century BC. Elephants have been used in war by many countries basically until. Until cannons were invented.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Famously, Alexander the Great had to fight an army of elephants in India during the battle of Hydespes against King Porus of India. King Porus. He had an army of about a hundred elephants, which scared the out of Alexander's men because most of them had not seen or even heard of the concept of elephants.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And then they're just on a battlefield

[Henry Zebrowski]

and they're coming at you kind of see like when you look at like any depictions of this, you can kind of see what Peter Jackson and all those guys did.

[Edwin Ewing]

They like the Ollie Fogs.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like you start to look and see. Imagine that you've never seen an elephant although you've had his horses. Then you're seeing these giant horses with blades in their mouth and you're like

[Edwin Ewing]

gigantic dick at the front of their face.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's a dinosaur. It's like having a dinosaur army.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. But incredibly intelligent.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Somehow Alexander the Great still won the battle. But love the elephant elephants. Dude was like, yo, I will kill people with elephants too.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That y'.

[Marcus Parks]

All.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That should stop your body. My dick, little boy. That was the coolest thing I've ever seen in my God forsaken life.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, regardless of his sexual.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Alexander the Greatest. I could call him a. You can say whatever you want to him. I think so you can get. Great. Let me put it. Did Alexander the Great Great ask for consent? Let me ask, let me ask Alexander the Great.

[Marcus Parks]

What does Google AI say?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Let me see what it says. Let me see what it says here.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, says not interested. No. Well, he started using the elephants himself and eventually they became sort of like a mascot of his. You can watch that shitty Oliver Stone movie. They're in there. I'M pretty sure they were the producers. The war elephant concepts started evolving, especially after the invention of gunpowder. Eventually they started covering them in armor and placed archers and musketeers on top of them. But once muskets evolved into cannons, bombs and machine guns, elephants were in great use in battle. Big targets and such.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

But they never stopped being used in an auxiliary role. Pulling heavy equipment, building bridges, launching ships. And even in World War II were used to perform tasks in regions where were. That were problematic for motor vehicles. They couldn't get in there. So they'd have an elephant get in there and pull something out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, they had no. Those elephants had no idea they were working for the goddamn Nazis, man.

[Marcus Parks]

I think they're on our side.

[Edwin Ewing]

Are they both?

[Marcus Parks]

I'm pretty sure the elephants were ours.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Rommel didn't do anything with elephants.

[Edwin Ewing]

I don't think the Germans ever did anything with elephants.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Couldn't be scared of them.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

I would imagine if there was some like the elephants, I would imagine that would probably been an Indian thing like from India, which of course the India at the time was a British. British colony.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Edwin Ewing]

And the British were allies. I would imagine anything in the elephant wise was us. Actually, the allies were pretty good about you. Like we had Vojek the bear. Yeah. The Polish had the bear.

[Marcus Parks]

Like.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah, we used a lot of animals.

[Marcus Parks]

That's awesome. The Italians use fish. Useless.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I can't believe this. We never use our official fish on a Friday. Use of a job.

[Edwin Ewing]

If you want to stop at the advanca and what are need is to go to Branzino.

[Marcus Parks]

Eventually, elephants were ultimately taken out of an auxiliary role because their ivory was worth more money to the armies than they were worth the trouble. So eventually war elephants are officially phased out.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And apparently also that's what one of the major things that one of the we didn't cover this in our Himler series was that the Polish had diamonds in their bellies, which is a. No one knew. They had to. One of the worst things pieces of

[Marcus Parks]

news to get out. Now, honestly, to sit here and tell you every insane story involving an elephant could take years. But one story that always fascinated me was the story of Topsy the elephant. Now, Topsy, in short, was a show elephant that died in a public execution in Coney Island. But when you dig a little deeper, her story is utterly fascinating. But also remember, remember, she was a legendary elephant that was killed in 1903. So in my research I did find some inconsistencies. Thus I'm gonna tell you her Story as accurately as possible.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah, I mean, I know, like, true crime journalism is hard to, you know, find a really accurate. I can't even imagine how hard it is to find accurate with animal. True crime journalism.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Elephant tragedy, tragic histories.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. 1903. We know the journalism was right on point.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was good and yellow.

[Edwin Ewing]

I'm. I'm so happy we're finally telling the story. I've also found the story of Topsy the elephant just fascinating for years and years.

[Marcus Parks]

So Topsy was stolen as a calf in 1875 from the wild in Southeast Asia. She was smuggled by boat and land over the course of months to Hamburg, Germany. In Germany, she was acquired by Carl Hagenbeck, who was the Jeffrey Epstein of exotic animals in the late 19th century. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Using this, a series of Kompromat, in order to, like, you know, you. You'd set up a circus tent and you'd have a guy fuck a bunch

[Marcus Parks]

of rabbits or whatever. We film it, you know, honestly, without the film part of it. I think so. I wouldn't put it past him. Hagenbeck started trading wild animals at the age of 14 when his father gifted him some seals and a polar bear.

[Edwin Ewing]

Gifted him.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was different then, man.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yes, son, take some seals of the polar bear.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Make something of yourself. All right, well, first things first. Try to put them together on a boat.

[Edwin Ewing]

Was his father a mental patient?

[Marcus Parks]

Now that I'm thinking about it, maybe the seals were food for the polar bear.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. He captured animals from every corner of the world, but ended up under controversy when he built his human zoos. Yes, yes.

[Edwin Ewing]

Which were very popular across the Western world for a very long time. I think there were only two countries in Europe that did not have human zoos.

[Marcus Parks]

They were everywhere. Apparently in the 1870s 90s, Hagenbeck's human zoos could be found in Hamburg, Paris, London, Milan, New York City, Chicago and more. Hagenbeck wasn't the only person who owned a human zoo, but his were, for lack of a better description, the best ones.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Listen, the most popular ones, the nicest

[Marcus Parks]

ones, I would say the ones that. That had the best set design.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, wow. It's like if you went to Buen Wall, then you're like, you know what? What I love about here, the palette. It's the color palette. Yeah, I love it. I can see the fall colors having

[Edwin Ewing]

gone to both Auschwitz and Birkenau. Auschwitz is much nicer.

[Marcus Parks]

Wow.

[Edwin Ewing]

It's far, far nicer.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, that's good to hear. They were worked really hard on that.

[Marcus Parks]

We'll see how the new ones are gonna be. Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Anyway, hey, as long as they have Butt Hunter, I'm fine. Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

The United States government is purchasing dozens upon dozens of warehouses. Far more they can fit the supposed immigrant population. What are they doing with it? Look into it, please.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, at least we know they're super bad at constructing things. So at least we know that, you know.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Hagen Beck's human zoos, the reason I called them the best ones or the best art direction is he would try to recreate the natural habitat along with the housing and the animals, accurate to their part of the world.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I put a cup of ice in there. That Eskimo is loving it. Play with that ice cube like it's like it's childhood toy again.

[Marcus Parks]

Unfortunately, not far off. Yeah,

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm making seal noises. It's like he's home.

[Edwin Ewing]

I mean, this really wasn't all that far off from, you know, guys here in America. Like P.T. barnum was a slave owner.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. They had these in, in Coney island as well.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, for sure.

[Edwin Ewing]

But P.T. barnum did actually. He owned a woman that claimed to be George Washington's nanny. And yeah, he actually purchased her and then put her at the dime museum in New York City. So he was a full on slave owner.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, you just sit there and wave at people, essentially.

[Marcus Parks]

The little I learned about P.T. barnum would be a great episode.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah, no, it's. It's on the docket, my friend. Trust me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's quite the entertainer.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Hagen Beck's Nubian and Inuit exhibits were by far his most popular. Hagenbeck sold people and animals worldwide to everyone who would possibly need them. Need? Yeah. Want.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hey, hey. It depends on what you.

[Marcus Parks]

But like, you got to look at your hierarchy of needs.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm not for me, it's. It's Jack Daniels Human Zoos. I. I love to hear the cries of the innocent.

[Edwin Ewing]

Number one, strangely, eggnog.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Eggnog at the top.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's just a way to get nutmeg in me to bring it all back around.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, hacking back. Just so you know, in 1913 was bit by one of his boom slang snakes and died. Died. When a boom slaying snake poisons you, it's said that it has to chew its venom into you instead of just a quick bite. Wow. The venom then creates small clots in the bloodstream and makes your brain bleed. So that dead. Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

A horrible death for a horrible man.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I think it's nice.

[Edwin Ewing]

It's nice when it happens like that.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. I Always look. I looked up every person to see how they died. And he was the only one that really had a good bad.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Hagen, Beth, you know Topsy, of course. Hagenbeck sold Topsy to Adam Forepaugh of the Forepaugh Circus, who falsely billed her as the first elephant born in America. This was a brilliant idea as it was to take away from Barnum and Bailey's impressive roster of huge elephants, which included both African and Asian elephants. So Mr. Forepaugh named her Topsy after the slave girl from Uncle Tom's Cabin and tried to make her a stolen star.

[Edwin Ewing]

Wow.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I actually didn't know that.

[Marcus Parks]

Good old horrible facts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just a cute name with no kind of nefarious background at all.

[Edwin Ewing]

I could tell you something nice about an elephant name for sure.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

Is that P.T. barnum's elephant? Jumbo is. Where we get the word jumbo is that Jumbo was not named because jumbo was a word for huge. Jumbo became a word for huge after Barnum's elephant.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, Jumbo also horrible, horrible death. Not going to get into it, but we will talk about Jumbo too. Very good. The first elephant born in America seemed to be a hit at first, but when Hagenbeck saw this, he told PT Barnum that Forepaugh was full of and Barnum exposed him for being a liar. And then he changed her title to Topsy. The first elephant to be born outside of a tropical zone. Doesn't really have the same ring.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, it doesn't mean anything.

[Edwin Ewing]

What the hell's a top topical zone?

[Marcus Parks]

I know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's nice that it was born outside of it, because that elf. I forget that giving me a mosquito

[Marcus Parks]

bite still a lie.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Still, I wanted to see an American elephant. Elephant ain't good unless it's American. Well, the old American elephant we're going to give you access to is, I guess, President T.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Topsy started getting a reputation as a bad elephant. It is. It is unclear whether she killed or badly injured 24 Paw Circus workers in Paris and Waco, Texas.

[Edwin Ewing]

Paris, Texas.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. Yeah, yeah. Paris and. Yeah, they're not taking her all the way the across back over the ocean. I think of a Paris, Texas. I figured people could get there, they understand.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They understand.

[Marcus Parks]

But she done them up, by the way. That's for damn sure. Her most infamous story became May 27, 1902 in Brooklyn, New York. A drunken spectator named James Fielding Blount supposedly snuck under the canvas into the elephant tent and began taunting the elephants chained up in a line to their post. Mr. Blunt apparently tried to get the elephants to drink his whiskey.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Are you too good for it?

[Marcus Parks]

And then when they refused, he began swearing at them.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're too good for, huh?

[Marcus Parks]

When he arrived at Topsy, he became more physically abusive, throwing sand in her eyes and then tricking her into taking his lit cigarette in her trunk. Trunk. And eating it. Topsy then picked up blunt with her trunk, slammed it to the ground and headbutted him to death. Others say that she killed him with her knees. But I like headbutt to death.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I also like it if maybe shredding him.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't know if he gets killed with the knee. If a headbutt. That's more of like an instant death. Like getting kicked by a mule, crushed to death by its knees. That's a slower death.

[Marcus Parks]

It might be slower. Yeah. The image of just like,

[Edwin Ewing]

funny.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, now, if possible, I have written a dramatic monologue from the perspective of James Fielding Blount, which will be performed by Wolf of Wall Street's own Henry Zabrowski. Please.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ye clan clown family. Hope they'll die in a tiny car fire. Die all once told. Well, they'll die together.

[Marcus Parks]

Motherfucker dies on top of father. You clown.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Ah, you gotta know, you clown. Betty hates his stupid life now. You never work to trap bees, you clown. You fat dumbass clown can't bounce. Secret of trapeze artist. I gotta take a trap piss. God damn it, clown. You're the funniest. Goddamn. You should be the ass remaster.

[Marcus Parks]

We go

[Henry Zebrowski]

pissing on the tent. Pissing on the tent. My name is Jimmy. I'm pissing on tent. This tent smells like sheep's head. Brothel ending down there. There you will. Maybe it's me. Maybe I did that. Wait a second. That's sting in my. In my paper. Yeah, My pee. My pee don't smell like that. Oh, smash that.

[Marcus Parks]

Not me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Hey, man. Peepee.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Whoa. Is there a key to big doggies? I want to drink with the big doggy. Where's the freaking door to this tennis West Soft ass. Soft ass building. Knock down keep his home wherever you are. You. You big old dog. You're a big dog. You're a big dog.

[Marcus Parks]

Let me just step under slit.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Look around looking up and down your skirt. Like, looking up and down.

[Marcus Parks]

Whoa.

[Henry Zebrowski]

These are big doggies. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now drink with the big dog. Now drink with the big dog. Where's the freaking door? This guy. Whoa. Yeah. You drink your drink and let all Jimmy Blount give you a whisk. Take it, take it, take it. Your stupid dog big ears, the shitty nose. Why you remember? Oh, look at that one. It's a lady. I could tell because the penis goes in. Hey there, sweetheart. You want to drink with me? No lady ever says no.

[Marcus Parks]

Big girl.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Never stop.

[Marcus Parks]

Old.

[Henry Zebrowski]

These fucking bitches. Always shooting old Jimmy. Daddy. You fucking bitch. But Jimmy don't like being shot. That you take over that right? You want something, Jimmy?

[Marcus Parks]

Jimmy.

[Ad Read 2]

I'm sorry.

[Ad Read 1]

Jimmy.

[Marcus Parks]

Dad.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Jimmy. Lion. How about you meet me couple for a little smoking?

[Ad Read 2]

Cigarette? You want a cigarette?

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's a light.

[Edwin Ewing]

It's a light.

[Ad Read 2]

I know you're trying to quit.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, ate it. I didn't tell you ate it. I attacked.

[Marcus Parks]

Little gurgling. And scene. Okay. Yeah. It's crazy. No one hires you anymore. Wow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's a great character. Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

Maybe we can get someone to work on the movie. It's the story of this man.

[Marcus Parks]

This horrible sheep's head bathed dog.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He ain't nobody's cat.

[Marcus Parks]

So after this incident, the New York press had a field day. Murderous elephant slays local drunken, you know, and such. So Forepaugh got all Scrooged with it and screamed, you can't buy this type of publicity. And the Brooklyn crowds came out in force to see Topsy the murdering elephant through the end. Through the end of their Brooklyn run. The whole place was sold out. The news inquiry crowds followed them all the way up to Kingston, New York.

[Edwin Ewing]

So let me get. So nobody cared when. When the elephant killed, like his family didn't like sue or anything like that. It was everyone.

[Marcus Parks]

I don't think he had a family.

[Henry Zebrowski]

But anybody gave a. About the guy that went in, really

[Marcus Parks]

surprised he had a name.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Elephant. Until it crushed his face. Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

Okay. Local tramp. Yes. Okay.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

And in this point in New York City, City, like people were beyond disposable.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Everybody was joining.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Especially Coney.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

Oh, yeah, man. It's like fucking one less shithead. Great.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They were just happy to hear a new way for a shithead to die. They were like, oh, my God. We didn't know. That was another tragic way you could die in Brooklyn. Let's go.

[Marcus Parks]

So back in the day, from what I'm learning with these circus elephants, whenever they killed somebody, they would use that as an advertisement to get people to come. Right there.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah, man. Kill an elephant.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm right there.

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[Marcus Parks]

So when they went up to Kingston, New York, it was sold out. All the way through there too. And then when they were boarding the train to leave Kingston, a crowd came to say goodbye to Topsy. And one spectator named Lewis Dondero used a stick to try and tickle Topsy behind her ear. Topsy was not so ticklish this day. She picked up Dondero with her trunk and right before she was about to pile drive him into punch Pudding, her handler Whitey Alt, stopped her from ending his existence.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is the deadly elephant.

[Edwin Ewing]

What is with people like

[Marcus Parks]

Big?

[Henry Zebrowski]

What could this 3500 pound animal with swords on its face possibly do? Let's find out.

[Marcus Parks]

So Fourpaw said, enough with this elephant. Its trail of death and destruction is too much much. She's becoming a liability. So he sold Topsy and her handler Whitey to the fearless frogman who Swam the English Channel. Paul Boyton. Paul Boynton at the time was the owner of the Coney Island Sea Lion Park.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I just want to say thank you so much for also purchasing me. It's one of the hardest things in all that I live inside of it. I was in a basket on fellow years back then. That is one of the nicest things. It's one of the nicest things ever happened to me. Somebody sold me. I actually didn't even know I was bought. God damn, I love that Whitey.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Paul Boyton was a much better frogman than he was a businessman. And he sold the Sea lion park that same year to Frederick Thompson and Elmer Dundy, who built the still famous Luna Park.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah, Luna park in Brooklyn.

[Marcus Parks]

Love Luna Park. Topsy helped build Luna Park. Topsy became a working elephant and would mostly just like pull the heavy equipment and supplies, you know. Her labor was photographed and portrayed in the media as penance for her violent past.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's an amazing storyline.

[Edwin Ewing]

Tops the elephant, once a murderer and attempted murderer, now is in Brooklyn.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's like I tried.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Whitey Alt, who was as drunk because he was an elephant handler, was in charge of getting Topsy to work. And one day when she refused to drag an amusement ride from one into Luna park to the other, Whitey stabbed her with a pitchfork. There were many witnesses that saw the abuse and reported Mr. Alt to the cops. This really pissed Alt off, so he decided to say it and just let Topsy run free and cause chaos in the street.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, you don't fuck with me, man. Don't fuck with me.

[Edwin Ewing]

Never trust a Whitey with anything. Someone named Whitey, don't trust them with a 3,000 pound killing machine.

[Marcus Parks]

8,000.

[Edwin Ewing]

8,000. Jeez. God.

[Marcus Parks]

You're thinking of the CRV.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I am thinking of no one's ever tore apart a bunch of people using CRVS or a Toyota RAV4.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, Alt was arrested and then two months later, when he got out, in an act of revenge, Whitey Alt got on top of Topsy and rode her into the police station where Topsy barreled through the station doors trumpeting her trunk, sending the officers to lock themselves in the cells out of fear.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is what, this is where when we say make America great again, this is what I'm fucking talking about, okay? Whitey Alt, somehow still a slave past slavery. He is somehow still a slave to an elephant. And he went and told the cops what was going on.

[Marcus Parks]

I think maybe they was just mad about their stomp and FR risk program.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It was Unfair, because in New York

[Edwin Ewing]

City, it was very unfair practice.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It really was, because they could pull over any whitey they wanted. It was reverse racism.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, all was fired and arrested, not sure in which order. And Topsy's new owners, Thompson and Dundee, thought, man, this elephant really isn't worth all this trouble. Not to mention, with Alt, the only elephant handler in town, now gone, they had to get rid of this elephant somehow. Topsy had such a bad reputation at this point, they couldn't even give her away. So they settled on the next best thing. Public execution. December 13, 1902. It was announced in the local papers that for the 25 cents, you could come and see the execution of Topsy. On January 4, 1903. This event was billed as an advertisement for their brand new Luna park opening up in May.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, of course.

[Edwin Ewing]

This is how Luna park, the wonder wheel opened with this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Everybody come around, we're killing an elephant. Everyone's just like, yeah, absolutely, I'll bring a giraffe, let's break. Let's kill my mother in law.

[Edwin Ewing]

And don't forget to go to the spook house.

[Marcus Parks]

Brand new.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Surprised I was honest today. I was extremely disappointed to go in the spook house and find only ghosts.

[Marcus Parks]

Hype was built in the papers every day, and the whole city was preparing itself for the public death of Topsy. With all the press this event was getting, the American Society for Prevention of Cruelty of Animals, you know them better, as the ASPCA stepped in and said, this is insane. You can't electrocute this elephant in front

[Henry Zebrowski]

of a huge crowd.

[Marcus Parks]

Didn't you hear about what happened with

[Henry Zebrowski]

Jumbo 2 in Buffalo last year?

[Edwin Ewing]

This had happened before.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Edwin Ewing]

This was the second elephant execution.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, yes, because in America, this is not the one. What was the one with Alexander Graham, with Thomas Edison?

[Edwin Ewing]

That's Topsy.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes, that's Topsy now. We'll get into that in a little bit. There's a lot of rumors and weird shit in there. Jumbo two, though. All right, was hard to find information on Jumbo too, but I was fascinated.

[Edwin Ewing]

I'd never heard about this.

[Marcus Parks]

I. The only place I could find it was like on a podcast from the Buffalo. The city of Buffalo's like local museum podcast episode on Top Jumbo too. And so this is where I got that information. Jumbo 2 was sentenced to death after supposedly killing two people. And the city of Buffalo decided to do it at the Pan Am stadium where President McKinley had been assassinated two months earlier.

[Henry Zebrowski]

This is where things get killed. We can't get to the stadium. That's exactly where we go. We great. You remember when President McKinley got shot and how great of time we had, Right? It was pat, why don't we do it again, but this time with something that we know is going to get shot because then we'll be there for it ahead of time.

[Edwin Ewing]

I also appreciate that you made sure that after allegedly killing two people, like he didn't. We don't know that he killed two people.

[Marcus Parks]

We don't know that he killed two people. It's actually a very. A point of contention because it was. A thousand people wanted to see this. They all bought 50 Cent tickets. But at the last minute, the mayor was like, we can't let people come watch this. Plus, they just saw an elephant murdered here when President McKinley was shot because he's Republican. But a thousand people were already there and wanted to see this fucking elephant died.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now we're fucking here.

[Marcus Parks]

So they postponed the execution till later that evening when people would hopefully lose steam and go home. That being said, 500 people still snuck into the stadium to watch.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Don't you lie to me. All right? I am here to see an elegant creature be murdered. Okay, I got to see it. I brought three geese with me as well. I'd like to slit their throats if we could. My wife found a swan over in the park. We're gonna skewer it on these javelins.

[Edwin Ewing]

And snuck in like, it's more like 500 people just sat in front of a fucking police like, no,

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'm coming in.

[Marcus Parks]

Jumbo 2 was led out by three other elephants. He was then tied to a platform built that day and electrodes were fastened to his thick skin. Then, as the crowd watched, 2,200 volts were sent shooting it to Jumbo 2 2's body. Nothing happened.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yep.

[Marcus Parks]

Jumbo 2 actually seemed to enjoy the electricity. Wagging his tail, throwing dirt in the air and playing with the platform.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Now back on to plan B, everybody.

[Marcus Parks]

Jumbo2 was then led back to his pen by his elephant co worker friends and his life was spared. They took him on the road to Boston and Baltimore, where he was billed as an elephant that killed 50 men and withstood 3,000 volts of electricity in July. That same summer, while on tour in Cleveland, Jumbo died in his sleep from unknown reasons. Like so many great rock stars we've lost.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. God damn. I can't imagine. Where was he? At the Roxy? Yeah. In a pool of his own vomit. He's got a capoeira. What's a little cup of capoebera there panties. Underage capybara and her little panties. She been traffic there from Germany.

[Edwin Ewing]

And it really wasn't the days when entertainment had your imagination do half the work. Because, you know, you just say, this elephant killed 50 people and it withstood 3,000 volts of electricity. And what you're doing when you go to see the elephant, you're just looking at the elephant.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

You're not doing anything.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Wow.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

There's no.

[Edwin Ewing]

You're just going like. You're just imagining the elephant killing 50 people and getting hard.

[Marcus Parks]

They would assign human characteristics to elephants a lot back then. And, like, it almost seemed like they deserved a. The prison sentence they were given.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, because that was the idea that creates a full story arc.

[Marcus Parks]

That's what they were looking for.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

So back to Coney, where they didn't want another Jumbo 2 incident on their hands.

[Edwin Ewing]

You mean they didn't want another dud show.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, they didn't want it to be boring.

[Marcus Parks]

So the ASPCA had now convinced Thompson and Dundee, hey, maybe we don't electrocute Topsy. They suggested, what if we drug Topsy with cyanide and then hang her? Wouldn't that be better?

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

And you can't charge admission. So Thompson and Dundee were like, fine.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's gonna have to be invite only.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're gonna have to just. We're gonna have to cap it at 50, all right.

[Edwin Ewing]

You don't drug with cyanide. You poison with cyanide. You poison it with cyanide.

[Marcus Parks]

My English isn't good, Marcus.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I also like the idea of, like, it's the same for B. Herman being like, what if we shoot it in the head?

[Marcus Parks]

I don't know.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What if we. What if we shoot in the head

[Marcus Parks]

and then we hang?

[Henry Zebrowski]

We let him go.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, they agreed and kept the date for January 4, 1903. The press was notified. But when the day came, even though they said no spectators, a thousand people still showed up to watch Topsy hang.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah. In New York, you get a hanging elephant, fucking people gonna show up.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Let's go.

[Marcus Parks]

To this day, I think that's true.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Honestly, I'd go. If you were going to build. If you told me it's 1903 in Burbank. I'm just saying right now, if you told me in Burbank, someone had built an impromptu gallows and they were going to hang an elephant, I'd at least

[Edwin Ewing]

go, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

You ruin your day. Yeah, but, you know, I got 50 cents.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Think about that. A 1903 show in 2026. How easy would that be? Now that's your show.

[Edwin Ewing]

I mean, I do know if that were to happen, I think I would probably be roped in by my wife to plot to rescue the elephant.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sure.

[Edwin Ewing]

Because Caroline is a massive, massive elephant fan. Loves elephants.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I love elephants, too.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah. We could save it. We could have our own elephant. I mean, elephant.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I don't want it to die, but I love the idea that it's happening.

[Edwin Ewing]

But we could. Then we could rescue the elephant. We could have our own elephant.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I would take it. Absolutely. And I'd train it to go against the police. That it fucking. Then you could see, now you're turning into Walt Whitey. That easy.

[Marcus Parks]

So a thousand people showed up, but only 100 were allowed in. And some press were allowed in the watch the spectacle. Many more jumped the fence and watched from rooftops nearby where they were charged admission.

[Ad Read 1]

Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

Now that's Brooklyn. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

The giant electrical tower was rigged with rope and inspected by the aspca. And when they said, yeah, you can hang your elephant here quick.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, Nice, nice, nice.

[Marcus Parks]

The event commenced. So the official plan was to feed topsy carrots laced with 460g with cyanide, walk her over a bridge to the electrical tower, hang her from it, and then electrocute her for good measure.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Oh, my God. And then we're going to have the Kaiser shooter with the first ever Gatling gun. And then we have. God, this is just a whole afternoon.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, a man named Carl Goliath, who was a supposed elephant expert who formerly worked for Carl Human Zoo Hagenbeck, was chosen to lead Topsy to her death. But Topsy knew that something wasn't right, and she refused to be led to her demise at the tower. Even after being cattle prodded and given apples as treats, she was wouldn't go. It was probably when he yelled dead elephant walking over and over again that tipped her off.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Soon as he saw that nun show

[Marcus Parks]

up, they were at a loss at what to do. So Thompson and Dundee sent for our favorite drunken police station attacker, Whitey Alt, and offered him $25 to lead her to the tower.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I'll give you one better $15.

[Marcus Parks]

Whitey said he wouldn't do it even for a thousand dollars. Ironically, 25 in 1903 is about a thousand dollars. Now. Does that matter? No. But still slightly interesting.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It could be really could be just Whitey all. I love the power. Now what he all has just, you know, they made me a slave.

[Marcus Parks]

Just hammered at Rubies eating clams.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's like, he's already been shucked. Chewing on the shelves like, oh, Topsy, I wish you were here to open

[Marcus Parks]

these clams for me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Just tell me when it's over. Tell me when it's over.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, the decision was made that if Topsy refused to march to her death, then death would be brought to her.

[Edwin Ewing]

Cool.

[Marcus Parks]

The team then rigged the noose with extra rope, gave her some more cyanide, and extended the electrical cables and got the show on the road.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It is unclear the new.

[Marcus Parks]

Okay.

[Edwin Ewing]

Why does it have to be so elaborate? There is a gun, an elephant gun. There is a gun that is named specifically for the purpose of killing elephants. You could just shoot the elephant in the head and die.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You listen here. You're skinny Communists. We've got the crane already here. I've got so much noose, I don't know what to do with myself. Okay, this news has got to go. Noose has been sold and purchased. Where else are we going to bring this big giant noose? We got to use the noose.

[Marcus Parks]

It is unclear on the ASPCA's role in the audible.

[Edwin Ewing]

All right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

So with help from the Edison Illuminating Company of Brooklyn, they were able to have two power stations send enough electricity to kill Topsy. One copper sandal was placed on her left left forefoot, and another was placed on her right hind foot, so the electricity ran through her whole body. They had spotters on roofs signaling the Coney island power station nine blocks away when they were going to flip the switch in case of grid problems. The Luna park chief electrician also closed off a Luna park switch, which would then redirect 6,600 volts to topsy, three times as much that was used on Jumbos 2's execution attempt. Electric chairs use anywhere from 1,000 to 2,000 volts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They're gonna make elephantstein.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

Well, what I'd always heard on this with Edison, like, because I'd always heard that Edison was the guy behind it all. And what he was trying to do was demonstrate that AC power was better than DC power, or maybe vice versa. The DC power was better than AC power.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm gonna get into all that in a little bit, okay? Yeah. So when the switch was flipped, the superintendent at the Coney island station was almost killed when he got mixed up in the apparatus and was thrown across the room. Topsy's fate was not like Jumbos. She was dead within 10 seconds. One onlooker said that she went out without a trumpet or A groan.

[Edwin Ewing]

Of course. People in electric chairs don't go ah the whole time it's silent.

[Marcus Parks]

It's sad.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So I wish they would.

[Marcus Parks]

After she was electrocuted to death, they decided to hang her anyway for good measure. The steam powered wench strangled her lifeless body for 10 minutes. She was then pronounced dead officially at 2:40 47pm an autopsy was then conducted in the very place she died. They removed her organs and sent them to Princeton. And a taxidermist skinned her and turned her into a chair for Thompson. Jesus. Thompson also had her four legs fashioned into umbrella holders for the office. You guys should think about that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, I actually. I don't really know what to do with all my ivory. Largely. I've been using it to make bullets to shoot the poor. Was one of my favorite things is to shoot a homeless man in the head with a ivory bullet. One of my bucktop list.

[Marcus Parks]

Well they cut off her head and buried it behind the horse stables. The execution was filmed and turned into a 74 second movie that could be viewed with Edison kinescopes and toured around America for children to enjoy.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

The film was creatively called Electrocuted Shooting an Elephant. It did not run long because it was not very popular. Sure.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

This is back in the days when that's. This movies just were what they were. They were named what they were. It's like.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, train, train coming station. Yeah, it was like the first movie.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, unfortunately here is Topsies electrocuting an elephant.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean honestly, we can just kind of flip through it because it's silent.

[Marcus Parks]

So it's only 74 seconds.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It doesn't really dig, you know, it's.

[Marcus Parks]

Yep.

[Edwin Ewing]

Dead.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Dead elephant walking. You really see it coming now.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Yep.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's really. That is a dead ass elephant about to be dead. Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

She doesn't seem mean.

[Edwin Ewing]

I can see the steam from the steam winch.

[Marcus Parks]

Imagine like you're at a fair and you're just watch as a child. You're extremely sad watching this through a fucking little machine that you're cranking.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I kind of take this back because this is not entertaining at all. No, this entire execution of the elephant is like it needs an opener.

[Edwin Ewing]

No, that's the thing. It'd be much better. Jared Logan saved the elephant.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, I'm saying with Jared Logan opening, he was doing crowd work like a form of warm up. That's really up, Eddie. Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

That's really awful.

[Marcus Parks]

I know. It is.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Being electrocuted to death.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're a bastard.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm Not a bastard. I wanted. It's powerful.

[Edwin Ewing]

It is.

[Marcus Parks]

It is.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes, it's powerful. I want to know like what's his internal temperature?

[Edwin Ewing]

And then they hung it afterwards.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. After this.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Well, that's just to make sure it's dead. You don't want it to come back. Like Mike Myers.

[Marcus Parks]

Clearly dead here too. Right?

[Henry Zebrowski]

It seems like it might not dancing.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Its legs are stiff and suspended.

[Edwin Ewing]

Like them hanging it.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

Well, that was a God awful Ed.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, there's lots of movies like that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You're a bastard.

[Marcus Parks]

So Thomas Edison is often credited as the man who electrical executed Topsy. But the truth is he wasn't there. And confusion comes because the electric company bore his name. And then even though he was ousted as controller of that electric company a decade earlier. Ah, he owned the film. So he had been falsely credited as the man who pulled the lever and orchestrated the entire event.

[Edwin Ewing]

Okay.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Not that he had some huge moral code or anything.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He was a horrific.

[Marcus Parks]

I bet he was pissed he missed it. Would have been laughing his ass off if he was there.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Like, I wish we could have done it with a line of dogs. I wish we could have done with people.

[Marcus Parks]

Especially since he made sure the film was preserved by the Library of Congress.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know, technically it is history.

[Edwin Ewing]

When I electrocuted an elephant in my

[Henry Zebrowski]

backyard, nobody came, nobody cared. When my daughter was born without a face.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, in 1916, there was another elephant lynching in Tennessee of an elephant called Murderous Mary. Her just Mary to non idiots.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It's just an elephant.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. She got her nickname after she killed an unqualified handler on his first day of the job. He was riding her into a crowded area and she wasn't moving fast enough. So he prodded her behind her ear. Mary snatched him off of her back with her trunk, slammed him through a drink stand and squashed his head in front of many onlookers.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Cool.

[Marcus Parks]

The newspapers created more sensationalism saying that she gored him with her tusks when. And we all know female elephants don't have tusks. So she was ordered to be executed regardless. September 13, 1916. Murderous Mary was hung in front of a crowd of 2,500 people chanting kill the elephant. Over and over and over again.

[Edwin Ewing]

Kill the elephant. Like kill the elephant.

[Marcus Parks]

Kill the elephant. Kill the elephant. I'm sure they were offbeat for a

[Henry Zebrowski]

little while because honestly, I know that that's how they said it, because I remember that that was a chance. Started when Ed and I walked into the Mariah Carey concert that we were at over Christmas break and it was like, that's where I heard that. I was like, where do I recognize that?

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah, you can also do like kill the elephant.

[Marcus Parks]

Kill the elephant. You're giving him too much credit. Okay. Yeah. Kill the elephant.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Kill the elephant. Kill.

[Marcus Parks]

Mary had a chain tied around her neck and was lifted by a crane while hanging to her death. The chain snapped and she fell and broke her head hip in front of the crowd. She screamed in pain in front of everybody. This was said to have scared the children.

[Edwin Ewing]

Oh, the children who were brought to the elephant execution.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They were like, this wasn't as fun as we thought it was going to be.

[Marcus Parks]

So this wasn't as fun as the

[Henry Zebrowski]

time we went to go see those anarchists get shot. Daddy, you remember when we went to go see the anarchists get shot? Oh yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

It was all those attempts.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I remember having so much fun when we saw those Italian gay just turned into Gilbert.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Well, they went and got a bigger chain and it worked. The next time she was buried right there beside the railroad tracks. But before she was buried, a veterinarian performed an examination and determined that she had a rotted out tooth in the exact spot the novice handler had prodded her.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, Obviously it was bad.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

I don't know why, but I imagine murderous Mary with a little bow, a little pink bow.

[Marcus Parks]

She would have to be adorable.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

No, it's very much. It's a Sherry Moon zombie. Yeah. No, if she was an elephant, I wish that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I'll make sure to tell her that. Yeah. Every time I'm going to DM her.

[Marcus Parks]

I'm sure she listens. I wish that Mary, Jumbo 2 and Topsy were the only stories like this. But. But the truth is there were 36 public elephant executions in America between the 1880s and the 1920s. Elephants were often looked at as good or bad and an elephant could be considered bad if it did not work. When told in the carnies eyes, bull elephants were looked at as unruly brutes that required constant abuse to be kept in line unless they could become unmanageable and possibly destroy the showman man's business. They took the stance that if an elephant tried to avoid work, it was lazy and needed to be punished. And elephant execution was deemed appropriate retribution for criminal behavior.

[Edwin Ewing]

I really wonder if, because it seems you say 1880, you know, that's around the time that we stopped doing like public hangings, do you? I think it seems like maybe elephant executions were trying to like fill the hole in America.

[Marcus Parks]

The Sequel. Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

We can't execute people in public anymore, so let's execute elephants.

[Marcus Parks]

They started with dolphins, but they were too slippery.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. And you really can't see them struggle because they're under the water.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

They don't really have necks, so I

[Henry Zebrowski]

actually think that there's. That makes a lot of sense. And also the idea that we're throwing human, like, attributes on the elephant, so it does sort of give the same kick. Almost like it's like a. Like a methadone for human executions.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Well, circus elephants never had it easy. An 8,000pound animal constantly on the road and forced to perform for crowds of screaming people while cannons are shot off and clowns spray seltzer water and horses jump from towers into small pools. It's bad. We all know that having animals as attraction in circuses are inherently evil. We've all seen Dumbo. It came out in 1941. We've done known this. It is wrong. Also, say what you want about the crows. They're the only characters that were nice to Dumbo.

[Henry Zebrowski]

They were the only characters with a heart in the whole movie.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. The unfortunate thing is, if Dumbo was murdered, those talking crows would have been the first ones to get arrested. Oh, man.

[Henry Zebrowski]

The really cute little pigs that would have played ice.

[Marcus Parks]

We know it's wrong. We knew it was wrong.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

I remember being on top of an elephant as a child at Ringling Brothers Circus. The elephant didn't want to do what the trainer wanted, and he whipped the elephant profusely while I was on top.

[Henry Zebrowski]

How did he tell the difference?

[Marcus Parks]

I remember my mom screaming, and then finally they got me down eventually. Even at that young age, I knew I never wanted to do no like that. That again.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

As of May 2016, Ringling Brothers has retired their working elephants to a sanctuary in Polk County, Florida. Could be worse.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Could be worse.

[Marcus Parks]

Ringling brothers were paid 16 million by the Humane Society and other animals rights groups as a settlement to retire the elephants. So don't think they're saints.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, no, no.

[Edwin Ewing]

They not only had to be forced, they had to be paid a lot of money.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Currently, 10 states in America have banned elephants from performing in circuses, Hawaii being the most notable after the famous 1994 incident featuring an elephant named Tyke. Tyke killed her trainer and critically injured her groomer and then stormed out of the arena into the street, where she injured another, trampled cars, and ultimately was shot dead by police with 86 bullets.

[Edwin Ewing]

Truth.

[Marcus Parks]

Tyke should have never been there. She had two incidents the previous year, when she broke out in Altoona, Pennsylvania, and Minow, North Dakota, she rampaging loose in both towns for over half an hour each. Who the thought it was a good idea to put the same 8,000pound animal on a boat halfway across the Pacific Ocean and then force it to perform?

[Edwin Ewing]

It's like King Kong. Yeah, it really is. King Kong on the barge.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. So is there a moral to these stories? Sure. The obvious is that using wild animals as entertainment is wrong, plain and simple.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, they're bad, you know, it's bad.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. AZA accredited, edited zoos. I can still see the importance in teaching us about animals, making us fall in love with them, thus making us want to be a part of animal conservation. That makes sense to me.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So it's like there's a difference between an elephant walking out and they kind of scrub it and everyone going like, hi instead of like. And not putting it, like in a suit.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You know what I mean? Like on top of a little platform while everyone's screaming, throwing like. There's a difference, you know?

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah, yeah. There's a difference between, like, you know, like a trained, like, veterinarian who walked out, who went to, like, grad school, probably has a master's degree, and some dude named Whitey.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Why do you care? Why?

[Edwin Ewing]

He didn't care at all. Why do you only cared about the elephant's power.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Why did he have no one?

[Edwin Ewing]

And even though his. His demand for getting into going and, you know, leading the elephant to his doom, even though it was an exorbitant sum, he still had a price.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Whitey had to go about making himself a slave. He was not a slavery.

[Marcus Parks]

He was.

[Edwin Ewing]

He wasn't a slave. He wasn't a slave.

[Marcus Parks]

I think he was paid, you know, a small amount.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes.

[Ad Read 1]

Edit.

[Edwin Ewing]

Ed said something about the trainer also being bought and you ran with it. It's not true.

[Henry Zebrowski]

He's not a slave. I don't understand the whole rage.

[Edwin Ewing]

His name was White.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I've never been allowed to go anywhere.

[Marcus Parks]

Why do you work for Dundee now? And you got no choice about it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Thank you. I think the original.

[Edwin Ewing]

Original take you out. I'm like, yeah, like, that's.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's more true than what Whitey was.

[Edwin Ewing]

Although a man one day loses, takes it into a police station.

[Henry Zebrowski]

So fun.

[Marcus Parks]

What I'm saying is how many telecoms, Topsies, Tatianas and Harambes have to die before we say enough of it all? You know, in the current state of affairs, the safety and care for animals will probably be Pushed aside for a while. Yeah, not that anyone needs another reason to hate our president. But in 2020 18, Trump lifted the ban on elephant tusks being brought into the United States from Zambia and Zimbabwe. Specifically where his sons have been photographed next to their trophies. Wow.

[Henry Zebrowski]

What wow? Wow.

[Edwin Ewing]

He changed an entire law just so his stupid sons could have their stupid elephant test drove.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, where they tie him next to a pole and then they go and they shoot him in the back of the head execution style like they're in the Russian government.

[Edwin Ewing]

But surely this man is here for the common man.

[Marcus Parks]

Don't worry, it's not just us. Prince Harry has gone trophy hunting. While all while his family advocates to put an end to wildlife trade.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Both of anybody with the prince in front of their name isn't a real fucking human being.

[Marcus Parks]

No, you're not a hunter.

[Henry Zebrowski]

No, you don't need to hunt.

[Marcus Parks]

You're a prince.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Go disappear all you princes. Just go fucking disappear somewhere.

[Marcus Parks]

All right? So Prince Harry, he did this thing which I'm sure you've heard of before, where people try to tell you that this type of big trophy hunting is actually good for animal conservation. What some animal reserves have been said to have done is that they have really, really rich people from all around the world pay an exorbitant fee, so they have the right to kill old or sick animals. The reserve then takes those large sums of money and uses it to keep the reserve afloat financially. As someone who has been on safari in Africa, there wasn't one moment when I thought, man, it'd be pretty cool to shoot that elephant in its huge, beautiful brain.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You got to go over there. I always. My favorite is I strap two indigenous birds my feet. I got two squirrels in either hand. You know, if you hunt to eat

[Marcus Parks]

or hunting when it's necessary to control an out of control population or invasive species. That I understand.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Sure, if you go on a plane to go hunt on another continent, you can suck my balls.

[Marcus Parks]

I couldn't agree more.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Unbelievable. You're such a loser.

[Marcus Parks]

But with laws changing for the worse in many places, for instance, Florida's own swollen face high heeled Governor Ron DeSantis decided that Florida needed a reopen bear hunting season this past year for some fucking reason.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I mean, there's been quite an influx of the bear community because of the Republican influx. Chubby, bearded, closeted men that really do

[Marcus Parks]

need quite a bit action in Florida. Bears were hunted into, almost hunted into extinction in the 1970s when they were brought down to less than 500 in the wild.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You should see the thrift stores. You can tell

[Edwin Ewing]

strangely the otter population's through the roof.

[Marcus Parks]

Well now there's 4,000Bears in Florida and they're off the endangered species list. So let's start killing them again. Seems fun, right? I don't know what goes through the mind of someone who has a desire to hurt an animal. There may be reasons to hurt some people, sure. But the animal kingdom deserves our respect. So maybe it's a of piece out time to find some of these sad weak ass poachers and politicians and throw them to the elephant garden.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

Throw them to the elephant garden.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yes. Yeah. Cuz like again, if you're just hunting deer or hiring like that's like the whole thing of it.

[Edwin Ewing]

Right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

If you're hunting for sustainability, if you're hunting to eat the food, it all makes sense. Like even the idea of some low level prize hunting makes sense in places where you're going after deer and going after these things that are actually like

[Marcus Parks]

actually if you're using the animal.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah. Like they're a part of the thing. It's just the idea of just going and shooting an exotic animal in the

[Marcus Parks]

head for no reason other than. Yeah. To be able to kill it and stuff it and put it in your fucking library. It's full of books. You can't read.

[Henry Zebrowski]

You don't even have a story.

[Edwin Ewing]

I mean I could get it like if it's. If we're talking like you know, 1910, Teddy Roosevelt, like going out, like I can understand like you know, the I can.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Michael Douglas movie.

[Edwin Ewing]

It can very much understand like the idea of like I'm going to go out and into the wild and I'm going to kill something that could kill me.

[Marcus Parks]

Like that.

[Edwin Ewing]

I understand. I can kind of get that.

[Henry Zebrowski]

That's not what these Patagonia vest bitches are doing.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah, yeah. Like Prince Harry. There's no, he has no fucking risk of being killed by any of these animals. The fact that these people are paying to go shoot a sick animal.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

Is fucking garbage.

[Marcus Parks]

It really is.

[Edwin Ewing]

So it is gas. Like it's one of those things where it should be like, like a trap. It should be like the moment you go out there and you have the animal in your sights and you pull that trigger and it goes click. That's when your gun should explode and you should die.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Or you realize you have no bullets and now you're just out there. Yeah. You know, and now. Okay, now let's see what happens.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. Or you get like a tiny 6 inch blade and it's a fair fight.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yeah. There you go.

[Marcus Parks]

That is kind of interesting.

[Henry Zebrowski]

It'd be kind of cool if you had one attached to each finger. That would be fun. Well, Eddie, man, what a fantastic job.

[Edwin Ewing]

This was so much fun.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah. A lot of death.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Edwin Ewing]

And now we have a new thing to say. Throw them to the elephant garden.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah, I like that. I wish it was real. Go to patreon.com Last podcast on the left. Go visit our own personal elephant garden. We have incredible content. You can also go see. You can get all of the podcasts ad free. You also can see last stream on the left live 6pm PST every Tuesday. We have this one coming up. It's going to be great. You know, whole bunch of go check our Patreon.

[Marcus Parks]

Yes. This weekend we're going to be in Austin, Texas at the Paramount Theater. Come see us. It's going to be a blast. That's Saturday. February 28th, March 13th will be in Indianapolis. April 25th, Cincinnati. May 29th, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. June 27th, Grand Rapids, Michigan. July 17th, Tulsa, Oklahoma. And July 18th, Oklahoma City. Also, I got a bunch of shows coming up I figured I'd let you guys know about. April 3rd, I'm doing stand Up Here in Los Angeles with Amber Nelson at The Lyric Hyperion. April 11, P Funk Fest in Tallahassee. April 12, V Star Stadium in Jacksonville with Danny bosan and Holden McNeely. This one's new. I don't know why I'm doing this. July 10th, a salute to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Yeah.

[Marcus Parks]

Hosted by me, Dan Becker and Ruby Deer from Start Making Sense. I'm just doing the show for no reason.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Reason.

[Marcus Parks]

It's over at Arts Quest. It's just amazing. They, like, turn like a steel factory into a cool art space. I just booked this. It's a lot of fun. And also I'm going to be in Newark on July 12th at our buddy Justin Williams. He just opened a comedy club in Newark called the Newark Culture Club.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Right. I forgot about his thing. That's so cool.

[Marcus Parks]

Yeah, so I went check that. Also, I wanted to give a special shout out to Eddie Ewing who sent me a bunch of elephant jokes that I used. There was a lot of fun. Oh, yeah, he's hilarious. I love that guy. Guy. I love all of you. This was a lot of fun.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Really good work.

[Edwin Ewing]

Thank you very much.

[Marcus Parks]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Edwin Ewing]

I love you, too.

[Henry Zebrowski]

I love you.

[Edwin Ewing]

I don't use that word lightly. I love you.

[Marcus Parks]

Can't handle it.

[Henry Zebrowski]

See, next week we're going to be doing. We're going to be coming back with

[Marcus Parks]

the Fox Catcher Murders.

[Henry Zebrowski]

We're going to be ending our Dupont series. And then we're going into some true crime. And then back to the Mount Rush. More of evil.

[Edwin Ewing]

Yes.

[Marcus Parks]

Cannot wait.

[Edwin Ewing]

Well, that's going to be after we

[Henry Zebrowski]

have a little surprise.

[Edwin Ewing]

You know what month is coming up.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, y' all know what's coming.

[Henry Zebrowski]

And we got a new. We got a new way to do it this year.

[Marcus Parks]

I think it's going to be really fun. It's going to be great. All right.

[Henry Zebrowski]

All right. Hell, Satan.

[Marcus Parks]

Oh, he Topsy.

[Edwin Ewing]

Hail Topsy. Yeah, she didn't know the difference.

[Henry Zebrowski]

She didn't know what she was doing. That was mine. That's my perfect elephant.

[Edwin Ewing]

Hey, listeners, Marcus, Edd and Henry here, a little bit of an announcement.

[Marcus Parks]

You loving all the episodes of Last podcast on the Left lately. Well, listen, now you can get even more from us.

[Henry Zebrowski]

Squeeze it out of us. If you want to hear new episodes ad free and unlock access to last podcast on the left seven days early. Subscribe to SiriusX Podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.compodcast+ to start your free trial today. Do it.