Side Stories: Blaming Bears

Summary

Podcast Summary: Last Podcast On The Left – "Side Stories: Blaming Bears"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Last Podcast On The Left
• Host/Author: The Last Podcast Network
• Episode: Side Stories: Blaming Bears
• Release Date: November 20, 2024
• Description: The Last Podcast on the Left delves into the darkest corners of reality and fiction, exploring everything from demons and serial killers to cults and bizarre crimes. This episode, "Side Stories: Blaming Bears," continues the tradition with a collection of peculiar and unsettling tales.

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1. Introduction to Side Stories

The episode kicks off with hosts Ed Larson and Henry Zabrowski transitioning into the "Side Stories" segment, signaling a shift from their main content to a series of miscellaneous, often bizarre, narratives.

Notable Quote:

• Ed Larson [01:05]: "This is the last podcast on the left side stories."

2. The "Blaming Bears" Insurance Fraud Scam

Overview: Ed and Henry delve into a peculiar insurance fraud scheme orchestrated by four individuals in California. The perpetrators dressed in bear costumes deliberately damaged their own luxury vehicles—specifically Rolls Royce Ghosts and Mercedes models—to claim insurance payouts by blaming the damage on bear interference.

Key Points:

• Participants: Ruben Tom Razian, Ararat Sherkananian, Vahe Merhad Kianian, and Alfia Zuckerman.
• Method: Wearing bear suits to simulate bear attacks on their cars.
• Outcome: Four arrests were made for insurance fraud and conspiracy.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski [02:19]: "He was dressed as a sexy police officer... murdered by Internal Affairs."
• Ed Larson [27:11]: "I don't understand. So they have to sit cars."

Discussion: The hosts humorously critique the illogical nature of the scam, questioning the plausibility of bears causing such specific and minimal damage. They highlight the poor execution of the scheme, noting the unrealistic portrayal of bears and the minimal damage inflicted on the vehicles, which did not convincingly mimic real bear attacks.

3. The Patterson-Gimlin Bigfoot Footage Debate

Overview: Ed and Henry revisit the iconic Patterson-Gimlin Bigfoot footage, debating its authenticity. They discuss the various theories surrounding the footage, including claims that it might be genuine despite widespread skepticism.

Key Points:

• Patterson-Gimlin Footage: A famous video purportedly showing Bigfoot in the wild.
• Debate: Authenticity versus hoax theories.
• Hosts' Stance: While acknowledging debunking attempts, Henry leans towards the possibility of its legitimacy.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski [14:06]: "If you look at the musculature in the back, it's just like it's been debunked."
• Ed Larson [15:18]: "Harry's definitely the better Bigfoot."

Discussion: The hosts engage in a lighthearted yet analytical discussion about the physical characteristics of the creature in the footage, such as musculature and gait, debating whether these indicate a humanoid creature or a well-crafted costume. They reflect on the cultural impact of the footage and its place in Bigfoot lore.

4. Virtual Reality and Grieving: Reuniting with Dead Loved Ones

Overview: The conversation shifts to a poignant yet eerie topic—using Virtual Reality (VR) technology to reunite with deceased children. They explore a South Korean documentary titled "Meeting You," which showcases a VR application designed to help grieving parents reconnect with their lost children through digital recreations.

Key Points:

• Documentary: "Meeting You" by South Korean broadcaster NBC, directed by Kim Jong Wu.
• Technology: Advanced VR creating lifelike avatars of deceased children.
• Emotional Impact: Mixed reactions, balancing technological innovation with ethical considerations.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski [34:07]: "It looks terrifying. It looks like Total Recall."
• Ed Larson [35:06]: "But she said that it was sad that her daughter was still just seven."

Discussion: Ed and Henry express skepticism and discomfort with the idea, debating whether such technology aids in the grieving process or exacerbates emotional turmoil. They touch on the ethical implications and the potential psychological effects on users, questioning the long-term benefits versus the immediate emotional responses elicited by interacting with digital phantoms of loved ones.

5. Exotic Spider Smuggling Incident in Peru

Overview: The hosts recount a bizarre incident involving a South Korean national caught smuggling an assortment of exotic spiders, centipedes, and bullet ants into New York City from Peru. The individual concealed over 300 spiders within his clothing, attempting to bypass airport security.

Key Points:

• Smuggler: 28-year-old South Korean man.
• Cargo: 320 tarantulas, 110 centipedes, and nine bullet ants.
• Method: Concealing the creatures in his jacket and pants.
• Consequences: Arrest and charges for smuggling and endangering wildlife.

Notable Quotes:

• Ed Larson [45:07]: "Crazy."
• Henry Zabrowski [46:03]: "The idea of you being in the cabin with me strapped with hundreds of spiders. Because I like spiders."

Discussion: Ed and Henry humorously dissect the impracticality and absurdity of the smuggling method, highlighting the logistical nightmares of transporting such a large number of live arachnids. They explore the motivations behind exotic pet smuggling and the broader implications for wildlife conservation and public safety.

6. Other Noteworthy Tales

a. Naked Doctor Walking Through Office: A Florida-based doctor was reported to frequently walk around his office completely naked, engaging in explicit behavior with nurses who seemingly tolerated his actions. The hosts find this both shocking and perplexing, questioning workplace dynamics and the boundary between professional conduct and personal freedoms.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski [55:25]: "He’s on the phone."
• Ed Larson [56:49]: "Naked Plumbers Union. Naked hospice. We already did that."

b. Murder of "Harry 399": Mention of a character named "Harry 399" whose fate is lamented by the hosts, indicating a storyline or ongoing narrative within their podcast universe.

Notable Quotes:

• Ed Larson [30:34]: "I never heard of it. Man stole 67 pieces of underwear to hang on his masturbation tree."
• Henry Zabrowski [49:55]: "So stupid."

7. Upcoming Events and Promotions

Towards the end of the episode, Ed and Henry promote upcoming live shows and special events, including:

• Live Show in Humboldt: Scheduled for November 23rd at the Mateal Community Center in Redway, California, featuring special guests and interactive segments.
• Hoopa Goo Goo Game (HGX2): Set for December 12th on their Twitch channel, promising engaging and interactive content for listeners.
• Thanksgiving Pud Live: A special live session focused on Thanksgiving-themed content, scheduled for the following Thursday.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski [50:20]: "Everybody loves it. That's why we're doing it."

8. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

The episode wraps up with Ed and Henry reflecting on the stories discussed, maintaining their signature blend of dark humor and critical analysis. They encourage listeners to engage with their content across various platforms, including Patreon and YouTube, reminding them of the diverse formats available for their audience.

Notable Quotes:

• Henry Zabrowski [52:56]: "Go to patreon.com last podcast and left to pay. Do watch us talk."
• Ed Larson [53:03]: "Also, every side Stories comes out twice on YouTube. Once it's just audio and once as video."

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Key Takeaways:

• The episode highlights a range of bizarre and unsettling stories, from absurd insurance fraud schemes to the ethical quandaries of VR technology in grieving processes.
• Hosts Ed Larson and Henry Zabrowski provide a mix of humor, skepticism, and analytical commentary, making the content engaging and thought-provoking.
• The discussion underscores the podcast's commitment to exploring the fringes of horror and human behavior, blending real events with speculative and fictional narratives.

Overall Impression: "Side Stories: Blaming Bears" delivers an eclectic mix of darkly humorous and bizarre tales, staying true to The Last Podcast on the Left's reputation for uncovering and dissecting the macabre and the absurd. Listeners are treated to a blend of crime stories, technological ethics debates, and shocking personal anecdotes, all wrapped in the hosts' trademark banter and irreverent style.

Transcript

[Henry Zabrowski]

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[Ed Larson]

This is the last podcast on the left side stories.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Well, I got to say, buddy, little disappointed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You backed out of your stripper promise.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm honestly.

[Ed Larson]

No show the party and said no stripper is coming.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Listen, I did we.

[Ed Larson]

Tootsie. I texted a decent time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I saw. I saw the footage.

[Ed Larson]

Decent time. I had to go outside. I shaved a cat. And she was mad. She was like, what is this?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I didn't mean to disappoint Tootsie. I. For those of you that don't know, last week we were discussing about how it was Tootsie's 17th birthday party. That's a dog.

[Ed Larson]

19 dog years.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, it's a dog. By the way. It's not a. It's not a good little girl that we were. We were talking about this for and.

[Ed Larson]

We were paying their daughter Tootsie, the.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Big old person with the metal rod sticking out of the side of their head.

[Ed Larson]

All right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You never know.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Voters. I had a. But I wanted to. I wanted to get a stripper and I did got. I have my guy, Dominic. Dominic, who's like, he's my. He's like my neighborhood naked guy.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And he was gonna go do that and I was like talking with him about it and he was totally down. He was totally chill. But then the next thing you know, he did commit suic. Suicide by police officer. Oh. So he could not be there.

[Ed Larson]

Was he Dressed as a stripper cop.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Unfortunately, he was dressed as a sexy police officer. And then he was pulled over for reckless driving because he was a sexy, intoxicated police officer. And then in his actions, he was then murdered by Internal Affairs. By the. Yes, yes.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Not by a normal street. No.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It was just some other guy that didn't even want to deal with him. He was off duty.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

When he had to shoot him in the head. No, that's not true. I just fucked it up. But I will say Tootsie's mad. I mean, I know. I know Tootsie's mad. I'll have to just wait six months before she's in the grave. That's unfair.

[Ed Larson]

It is unfair, but it's probably true.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She's very sweet and I love her.

[Ed Larson]

I can't believe every day I'm like you. Is today the day she is.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's her and Jimmy Garter.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just continuing to. God forgot about me. God must have forgot I was here.

[Ed Larson]

Um, but she has outlived everything that she's ever come in contact with, dude.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She's. She's like. She was from Barack Obama's presidency.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's amazing.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. No, it's truly unbelievable.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's amazing. I. But I did receive many emails that I thought were so funny. Do you know?

[Ed Larson]

So you even got information from strippers?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No one was local.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, okay. No one was local.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

You can't be flying them in.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, no, no, no. Not right now. Okay. It's hard. It's called trafficking. Yeah. A lot of. A lot of conference. There's a lot of real people really thinking about this.

[Ed Larson]

Only fuck local.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's it. That's how. Keep it. Side stories. I'm. This is side stories. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. I'm Henry Zabrowski.

[Ed Larson]

How you doing?

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I got several emails from exotic dancers of the male persuasion that they said not only is it not hyper unusual to be asked to dance for a dog, but several of them have already danced for dogs.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, so we're not even original.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No. Did they have walked into her room? They said largely did seem to be obviously an excuse for the women.

[Ed Larson]

Find out. Till they got there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, no, no, no. They rolled in. Several of them walked.

[Ed Larson]

I feel like you got to say it ahead of time.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There's a dog in a chair in the center of a bunch of horned out cougars.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And that dog is just sitting there and they're like, all right, it's peppers. It's Pepper's ninth birthday. You Got a dates for her and then he's just. Then this man is just getting groped by a whole pack of women, dog. No interest. Yeah, you know why? Because he wasn't smuggling pepperonis.

[Ed Larson]

Well, if you dangle, if you tie a treat to their penis and then have that and see if he can keep it, make his dick bounce. You know how they did trick where they, they get hard and they make their dick bounce? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we tie a treat to that and then make it bounce like that. I mean you could definitely get some interest.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I feel like on some way that's got to be demeaning to put some.

[Ed Larson]

Eyeballs on your balls.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Ed Larson]

And so we can look it in.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The eyes like a snake.

[Ed Larson]

Like a funny caterpillar likes to look in the eyes. See right through you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Tootsie creeps me out with that. And I do think that the dead eyed stare that she would give to the stripper would have also creeped him out.

[Ed Larson]

Dad's. Harder. Dad's. You're getting no reaction, dude.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She doesn't like this. And then for a while I actually just was wondering whether or not since he was a lesbian.

[Ed Larson]

Tragic. Mike.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That was the guy I hired originally. Now he's dead. But yes. Happy birthday, Tootsie. I'm sorry that I was not there. Yeah, sorry and I will, but it's not. I was just. I was fighting crime time.

[Ed Larson]

Know what else you missed? I had a. I had a bunch of boys over to watch the Tyson Paul fight.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I went out, it was like we did our show at Sirius xm and then I walked over. It was great. I had dinner with Matt Servito. We went. We. You know, you know me with my, my Hollywood connects. Yeah, right. It was me, Matt Servito, my wife. Hottest party you could possibly imagine. We went down to the Formosa. They know me there.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All I had to do was get a res reservation and I walked right to my favorite table that they chose for us and we had a fantastic time. But as we were leaving, I looked and I saw someone else was watching the fight on their phone. And I watched last five minutes on their phone and I was completely correct. Yeah, I called the whole thing.

[Ed Larson]

It was the fight we deserved.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yeah, I do.

[Ed Larson]

You know, because like I. I was so excited. I was so ready to go. I wanted it so bad.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You were very excited.

[Ed Larson]

I wanted to see Tyson pummel this guy. But no, you can't fight 58.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Mike Tyson looked frightened of the people and Jake Paul looked tired and dumb. It Was from what I've seen one of the worst bouts of athleticism since me getting out of a tub.

[Ed Larson]

It really is like he is the, like what we're. What we could expect from sports for the next couple years future. It is just going to be stunts. There is garbage. It's like unathletic people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There's a term that is used in technology that is a funny Internet term, but it's real and it's what we are all in the middle of right now. And it's called and ification. And the term is a funny thing of why things are built to fall apart. Specifically why phones only last two years and laptops only last three years and your car constantly breaks down. They build them to fall apart. And we're just doing that with people now.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, and that's just what we.

[Ed Larson]

We got going on.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And they're in charge.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. I say, you know, but Tyson, you know, got 20 mil, he's good for the rest of his life.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Good for him, you know, because I was really worried about his money. I was really, really worried if he was out of money or not. And then Jake Paul is just another just fucking absolutely talentless nothing person.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. At the end of the fight afterwards, when they're interviewing Jake Paul, he said that it's America is now in a. In its moment of truth.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Right after he had a fake boxing match.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, very much so. It's almost like people have lost the ability to be ironic and that satire is dead. But not here. Not on last podcast on the left. No, absolutely not. Because we talk about only the most important topics, like what are the most fuckable Fish.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And I'm not getting into this, into a lot of detail because we got another pushback from the anti bestiality crowd. Because they get upset.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because they don't want to hear about bestiality.

[Ed Larson]

It's just fish.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's fish.

[Ed Larson]

It's just fish.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I'm just going to just quickly go through the fact that, yes, the number.

[Ed Larson]

But there was. I will say we had more people send in what type of fish they want to fuck than more people tell us not to talk about it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Not a single person emailed us about our star status. About like you did do a little bit of kerfuffle by saying something about how Jesus was an Israeli, but you meant an Israelite or some opposite fucking thing.

[Ed Larson]

Doesn't.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Fucking.

[Ed Larson]

Doesn't matter. It's not real.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We got less mail about that than we did about fish fucking. And the. What Fishes did. They would. I mean it. Three dozen. And so the number one. I'm just. Just for the sake of the people, for the. The brave, mostly men that emailed, I want to say the number one fish is sturgeon.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Two. Two listeners voted for sturgeon. And I get it, man, because apparently.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They got inner teeth, but you could bypass them by sticking your dick in it.

[Ed Larson]

And they're long.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I guess they're super long.

[Ed Larson]

I think they're the size of a human sometimes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But.

[Ed Larson]

Eddie, let's fresh water too. You don't even gotta smell salty.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just don't think that the guys that are fucking the mouth of this sturgeon have to worry about if their girth is going to exceed the mouth.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because I feel that it is mostly. Oh, wow. I hate his face. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

No, it's got.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm looking at this. I forgot. That's why they want to fuck it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Because it has a mouth.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm really.

[Ed Larson]

Actually has like. It sucks the bottom of the ocean of the riverbed.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hey. And guess what?

[Ed Larson]

And they're good.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. You're gonna suck the pebbles off a coral. You come over here and give my fucking coral.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, my God. You know, you can put sturgeon on bagels.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You can. You could put liquid shit on bagels if you want. Oh, I'm just saying. Anything going on a bagel. Any single substance going on a bagel. Yeah, I. Kissing gourami was another one. It's little fishes that kiss each other. And they said main issue was stay away from largemouth bass because they would quite literally bite your penis off.

[Ed Larson]

Really?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, because they got chompers, pickle choppers.

[Ed Larson]

Really? I put my hand in a bath mouse before. They wouldn't bite your penis off. It might scratch you up a little bit.

[Henry Zabrowski]

When's the last time you did that?

[Ed Larson]

When I was a child.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He got. They got spines. The fish whisperer on YouTube. He shows him. He bleeds every single time he feeds one.

[Ed Larson]

A bass.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, they got little nippers.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, you know, you just reach right in there and grab it this with your fingers.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Eddie, what about your pink penis?

[Ed Larson]

I wish it was still pink.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, I know. Mine's kind of getting like gray.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. It's turning into Eeyore down there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know why. I don't know.

[Ed Larson]

I'm gonna lose it and not care.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know. Who asked us about this. I didn't answ answer about what color I wanted my penis to turn when I turned 40 and I should have been asked.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And speaking of little bites. The Titanic. You said that the Titanic isn't going anywhere. Another update that's false because due to the bacterium Harmonious Tetanique named after the boat is eating it. It's slowly but surely decaying rapidly.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, we should go down and check it out.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Go ahead.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You want to go on a little submarine adventure?

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a boat. We've all seen it. All right. We've all seen it. James Cameron made it romantic again in a film. Yeah, we've seen it. I don't care about the title.

[Ed Larson]

There are really nice cruise ships that like still floating on top of the water, totally operating.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So I'm just going to go on those. I'm going to deal with those. I'm sick of it. I hate the stupid Titanic.

[Ed Larson]

It's stupid.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And another update that was immediate. That was Rob called it. We talked about last week in South Carolina breakout of a series of like little test monkeys. Capuchin monkeys. What was the other one? Mac.

[Ed Larson]

Mac.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And they got out. It was like they're still about 12 unaccounted for. But almost like clockwork Bigfoot sightings increased in the area just immediately People like no idea that the news they never looked up monkey escape they didn't look at.

[Ed Larson]

But the monkeys are small.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It doesn't matter. People see rustling in the woods. They think Bigfoot because they don't have any imagination. They don't understand it could be a bunch of guys on the down low 6 to 9 in each other underneath a bunch of ferns. Oh, that's my first thought. Nothing is Bigfoot. I just assume it's two grown businessmen having sex with each other.

[Ed Larson]

No condoms, no cup. But they're hairy like you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, not necessarily. I think one would be hairy and one would be slippery like an eel. You know go back and forth. I know sometimes Harry's on Harry but I feel like Harry probably gonna use a slick boy. Right side stories lpotl gmail.com are you Harry and do you prefer a slick boy? And when you are. When two Harrys are together do you have to make you both slick And.

[Ed Larson]

Harry Harry also the name of the most famous Bigfoot Harry and Henderson's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well he was in real. Patty is technically the most famous Bigfoot. That was according to the Patterson footage of the big. That's what.

[Ed Larson]

That's not real.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It was real.

[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There's a musculature.

[Ed Larson]

Oh okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If you look at Patty. Yeah. This is right here. You see this? She does that pressure. That's a man.

[Ed Larson]

That he has breasts.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Man tits. Yeah, all right. As they should be. But if you look at it move. Can we show a video of it just so we can see it again?

[Ed Larson]

I've seen this video a million times.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, you haven't. Obviously not recently.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, Harry and the Hendersons was truly one of the great films of our generation.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It was. But the Patterson Gillian film, actually, listen, is the actual first footage and most important footage of the Bigfoot. As you can see, there's musculature in the back.

[Ed Larson]

It's too. It's walking too easily.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There's a lot of people that can walk easily. Just because this is a younger Bigfoot.

[Ed Larson]

A lot. And you said people, by the way.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, but this is Bigfoot. Bigfoot's between people and animal.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, but this is the. This is too much. You can almost see the sneaker.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, you can't see the sneaker. That's a full food. There's musculature.

[Ed Larson]

No, man, that ain't.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This has both been debunked and bunked. This has been bumped and debunked again and again. It's just like it's been debunked. And then the guys said that they came out and they said they were suit. But then they recanted and they said that never happened. And then that. Now there are more and more people saying recently that the Patterson Gimlin footage actually is pretty legit.

[Ed Larson]

It can't be.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's stabilized. Look at that. Look how it's walking. No human can walk like that.

[Ed Larson]

All humans walk like that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Only the ones that look like Bigfoot.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just think it's fascinating. I'm just saying that's. That's the most famous Bigfoot.

[Ed Larson]

I don't know.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think Harry's more Famous side stories [e-mail].

[Ed Larson]

Who'S the better baby? Harry's definitely the better Bigfoot also.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, sure. Yeah. The more fun one. We haven't heard from Patty. We don't know if Patty's funny.

[Ed Larson]

No, Patty's a piece of shit.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. You know, that I'll agree with.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Now, one thing we'll say about Roman sexuality that we covered a little bit, you know, in Romans.

[Ed Larson]

How much do you think a big put Bigfoot vagina weighs?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like if you cut it out of her.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Like 8 pounds, 10 pounds.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What's all.

[Ed Larson]

How much big foot weigh? 600 pounds, 500 pounds. A cow is like 1200. Right. And so a Bigfoot has to Be like at least five.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's like they say 800 pounds.

[Ed Larson]

800 pounds. That's a lot of meat.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a lot of meat, but that's a lot skeleton and that's meat.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know if pussy meat is normally the big. Is the biggest factor in body weight.

[Ed Larson]

If it's 20 pounds, I'm going to say 20 pounds. 20 pounds, I think if it's 8. If it's 800 pounds, I think 20 of its pussy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know what I'd vote for? For president.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, absolutely. I'd vote for anybody at this point. I can't wait to vote next week.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah, me too. Big election next week. If you're in line now with the polls, stay in line. In line. They stay in line. You vote. They have to let. They have to let you vote. So fucking stupid. So here we go. So this is a bit of a response. Another update on Roman sexuality. We talk about how gayness doesn't exist, but actually there was a form of it. They did say that apparently oral sex. Even though we talked about people getting their dick sucked since the old days in the Roman eras, they viewed it disparagingly because they thought it made your breath bad.

[Ed Larson]

Really? They cared about breath? Oh, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They said it was. It caused bad breath. They also said they don't really care about you having sex with a man as long as you're at the top, because putting up being a bottom is bad.

[Ed Larson]

Most of the power thing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. Well, most people were bottoms. It just wasn't really discussed. Okay. Yep. And all the idea of it was considered gay to go down on a woman because it was. You were penetrating the woman with your tongue, according to them.

[Ed Larson]

I think that's wrong.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think it's super straight.

[Ed Larson]

Absolutely. Yeah. You like it so much you go down.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. You get up in there.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Yeah. It's not just for penises anymore, but.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That'S why we change things. All right. That's why we flip them. So that. Those are the updates from today.

[Ed Larson]

There's a lot now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There's a bunch I was saving for next week. Because next week we have a very special episode of Last Podcast and love coming your way. So there's a bunch that I'm saving that I'm certain a lot of people are wondering, why am I not covering the UAP congressional hearing? And why am I not talking about George Knapp's new show? And why am I not talking about the. A lot of like.

[Ed Larson]

Your silence is deafening, Henry.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I know. My Silence is more deafening than a lot of people's noise.

[Ed Larson]

Absolutely.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Just by my body noises itself. When I could just sit here, I make noise as I sit. I sound like a rice maker, you know, I sound like a tea kettle.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Ready to go.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. And. But we are saving it for next week. Okay. I'm going to do it a bit deeper.

[Ed Larson]

All right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So people can understand.

[Ed Larson]

Okay, good, good. Deeper ads in the ocean.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

Because I learned about that this week.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're right.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, yes. You've been watching George Knapp. He's been watching Investigate Aliens.

[Ed Larson]

I have been watching it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We're going to do it. We're going to be talking about in depth next week.

[Ed Larson]

The Gulf of Mexico.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's your favorite place to relax because, I mean, no fucking, no waves. Of course.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. Also, just so you know, the woman, the young lady, the gersimron cow or that was cooked to death in the Halifax Walmart was fun. It was not murdered.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I believe it was not suspicious. But no. Nothing else on that.

[Ed Larson]

Nothing else on that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No.

[Ed Larson]

Probably never again too.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Never. Also, Andrew's perfect. Oh, our favorite guy.

[Ed Larson]

What happened? What's he doing?

[Henry Zabrowski]

He is going up for parole for the second time. So now he's going in there. I think he's got a real shot.

[Ed Larson]

They love.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, they love him. And they definitely. They're going to love the fact that he has a. He has shaved a Z into the side of his head, which is a new pro fascist Russia symbol. The Z then the Z, which is two sevens next to each other because it's been 77 years since World War II.

[Ed Larson]

A Z is two sevens.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what they do. That's a thing that they did. It's two sevens touching tips.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, okay, I see.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So that's what they make it, a Z. And it's apparently all over Russia right now.

[Ed Larson]

77 is what?

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's 77 years since World War II ended.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, so. So we only got to deal with the Z thing for a year.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know what. It doesn't matter. It's all stupid. And he's a going anywhere. Have fun in jail. Anders BREVIK Y It's not a good.

[Ed Larson]

It's not even a good look.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He is having fun in jail. He like is having fun in jail. He sits in his fucking apartment. He plays his PS5. He's loving life. You go go yourself. I hope you have diarrhea today, Andrew Spravik.

[Ed Larson]

And every day.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Honestly, sometimes I like it. So.

[Ed Larson]

I do like it. Isn't that weird? Yeah, I wish I wasn't, you know, so into it. We're not going to talk about it, but I just. People always go diarrhea and I'm like, you're welcome.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just like the time spent.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Fly from your grave.

[Henry Zabrowski]

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[Ed Larson]

Oh yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They and it's we've said this multiple times on the show. It is so difficult.

[Ed Larson]

They don't want to pay to get.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Your money when you need it and when you deserve it legally. That why do you think that insurance fraud is going to be any easier? Murder? It's not.

[Ed Larson]

Their detectives are better than the police detectives.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They are looking actively.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And this is one of the dumbest, slashed, funniest versions of this that I've ever seen. Now this four were arrested. Four were arrested in California car insurance scam. They these morons decided to fake being a bear, fuck up their own car and then try to use the footage of that to prove that a bear was in their car. Insurance agents weren't having it. Los Angeles area residents Ruben Tom Razian, Ararat Sherkananian, Vahe Merhad Kianian and Alfia Zuckerman. They were charged with insurance fraud, a conspiracy in connection to the reported scam from the Department of Insurance. Now they entered.

[Ed Larson]

How are four people involved in one insurance scam?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because you know what? I don't know. Know. I don't really know.

[Ed Larson]

Crazy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think it's because one got the costume, one did like they all put together and I guess it was multiple vehicles as well. And the footage that we're going to see and go over right now came from one of their Rolls Royce's ghosts. Which is a nice car.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. 2010 Rolls Royce.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Ed Larson]

It just shows like he bought it and he didn't have the money for it. So now he's trying to figure out how to have it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Very much so. The suspects also provided video footage to the insurance company which showed the quote unquote alleged bear in the vehicle. Now if you look at the stuff, State Biolo immediately determined he was clearly a human in a bear suit. But we'll watch it and see what you think. The detectives found two more insurance claims with two different insurance companies from the suspects with the same date of loss in the same location. The each claim involved two vehicles. A 2015 Mercedes, a 2022 Mercedes. And suspects also alleged used the bear costume to make it look like a bear also and entered and damaged those.

[Ed Larson]

Vehicles after a Toyota.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's why there was four guys. They thought that this was. They parked all four of their shitty cars in the same parking lot and then I guess drew straws to figure out who was gonna be the bear. They then bought a high level bear costume and then they decided we're like, we'll just get them all in one go. And to say that it was a bear serial car slashening, which I've never heard of before or since.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.

[Ed Larson]

When I was in Gatlinburg staying overnight, they, they made sure that we locked the doors to our car. Because the bears break into cars. They know how to open the. They know how to open the doors.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh yeah. And they sleep. And so let's just look at this footage. So this is the footage outside of the 2010 Rolls Royce Ghost. This is that. This is what they submitted to insurance to say, look, this is. We, we look at this bear. I can't even Believe it.

[Ed Larson]

I'm ready to believe. I'll tell you that much.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Here we go. Well, you see the light, the cabin line of the car turn on.

[Ed Larson]

Okay.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You see A. I mean, so far.

[Ed Larson]

I kind of believe it. No, so far, kind of. It's just a bear. You don't see it get in.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's. It's.

[Ed Larson]

Now it's in there. It is very much now. He's just turning around.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, that is just. He's turning around. Y'all get a bear fit into the car at this size?

[Ed Larson]

I would have some people. Yeah, they did a good job, like, because of the roof, you know, it's blocking a good size.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But you notice they're moving the camera to try to catch it. Right. So they're trying to catch this bear. What did he even do? He's just, like, inside.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. You gotta shake the car more.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, shake the car. What is he even going for? He's not doing anything. He's just like. He's turning the radio on and off.

[Ed Larson]

He does look pretty fat.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, he's just got.

[Ed Larson]

He's probably the most bear like of them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And how insulting is that? And like. Well, Aria, you're. You're the fat one.

[Ed Larson]

You're the fattest of all of us are.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know if I would get.

[Ed Larson]

But it sounds like it's really the car that much.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Look at how bad the up the car. These. The claw marks on it are so stupid. They are so uniform. They were done, literally, almost to almost not. Not fully ruin it. They just got. They wanted to get the interior redone. Now, this is the same. Look at Eddie, same camera. This is on the Mercedes.

[Ed Larson]

I don't understand. So they have to sit cars.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep. He parked a new car on the same spot. And then they have this person, obviously, in a bear suit.

[Ed Larson]

Look at this one.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like, it's just feeling around.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. It's opening the glove department.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You could tell. They're like, all right, now bear it up in there. And he's like, what do you want me to do? Yeah, well, what do you mean, honey?

[Ed Larson]

In the trunk. Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Take a shit.

[Ed Larson]

Shoot your scat.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know if my scat. I mean, my scat is very much my scat. You know, I don't know if it's gonna look like people scat. Scat in there.

[Ed Larson]

It's just. You gotta rip up this shit more than.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It is so stupid. They are just lightly scratched. All of the walls, the interiors are lightly scratched. This is how many. This is the second Is this the second week in the row or maybe third week in a row? We've even brought up people framing bears. It keeps happening. What is going on here?

[Ed Larson]

What in the living world, this anti bear world that we're trying to live in right now is up.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I thought that bears were one of the ones that. Everybody loves bears. People love bears. Look, it's next car. Same thing. Just a bear. Just a bear going in the car, man.

[Ed Larson]

So stupid.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So they are all probably gonna go to jail. Yeah, they are that. They, the. These. This trip, this quick. Let's call them a quartet of idiots are gonna go straight to jail. I wonder how much time they get.

[Ed Larson]

And I tell you, my favorite bear got killed. Did we talk about this on the show?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't know.

[Ed Larson]

399.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. Yes.

[Ed Larson]

I'm just still broken up about it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's hard, man.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I'm still thinking about it. This. God, these.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This bear cost is so stupid.

[Ed Larson]

Great bears like 399 go down is because of this anti bear rhetoric that's being passed on by these people.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's just not even a very good bear suit.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, it looks pretty cool.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, but look at the Patterson gimlet footage. Right. If you look at that footage, it is proper musculature.

[Ed Larson]

And that's. Yeah, that's like. Right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep.

[Ed Larson]

See, well, that was also like, you know, Remember that was around when they, you know, 2001 was coming around when they were making that and stuff like that.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. When we faked the moon landing, there.

[Ed Larson]

Was some really good monkey suits in that too. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

There was a lot of stuff going on there, man. They just took it from Stanley Kubrick, man, because he had faked the footage because what's his name farted on the. The camera.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, so you think that they did go to the moon and Neil Armstrong farted? So they had had Stanley Kubrick reshoot it all?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, that's kind of the best theory I've heard.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I can see him farting all over it going, oh, my bad, y'all.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, it's all that space ice cream.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Damn, I should. I should have been watching my cheese intake. Y'all, it's me, Neil Armstrong. Do you know that? That's what he sounded like. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

No one really knows.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If you actually listen to the quote, be like one small step of man. Whoa, whoa. Giant sleep for mankind.

[Ed Larson]

Amen.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I love Neil Armstrong. He was a funny guy, man. Him and Chubby Checker.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he was great at the. At the trumpet.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He got he was good at the trumpet.

[Ed Larson]

God, I loved it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, his jazz standards could not be duplicated. We have that. We have. All right, what we got here? We got.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, I got. I got one story I wanted. It's an old one, but I never heard of it. And I. I wanted to. I wanted to talk about it on the show. Show in South Korea.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, okay. Yeah, we'll jump right into this.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah. In South Korea, there is VR. This has happened, like, four years ago, but. Yes, but. Yeah, we just learned about it now. There is a VR that could reunite you with your dead child.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Now, it sounded like they did this as a way for. This is a nice thing they did for this woman. It was like, a specific company that did this. Like, I guess it was an experiment in digital imagery. This was, like, during this from four years ago.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And it was.

[Ed Larson]

Jang Ji Sung was the mother.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That was the name of the woman. And they. It was from the South Korean broadcaster NBC were the ones that did the actual documentary. The documentary. This all came from a documentary called Meeting you, which was this idea of, like, it's. The goal was to. What. In what way can VR be good for society?

[Ed Larson]

You know who directed the documentary?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Who?

[Ed Larson]

Kim Jong Wu.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Is that his, like, fun cousin?

[Ed Larson]

That's the name of the director. Wow. Yeah. So there you go.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It sounds like it's a fun cousin who reviews roller coasters.

[Ed Larson]

Not only. So not only did they digitally recreate the daughter and her voice. She died at 7 years old, but they also recreated their favorite part now. And so, like, so the kid kind of, like, appears from behind a bush and then, like, starts talking to the mom.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. Now I just want to. Let's watch some of the footage, the video footage, because they filmed all this, and it's just like, I don't know how I feel, because I don't.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, I hate it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I just don't know if.

[Ed Larson]

It definitely doesn't help.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I don't know. Some people like it. I don't know. Let's. Let's listen some of this footage. All right, so this is this woman. She's lost in a green screen room with the big VR helmet on. She's going, where are you? Here comes her dead daughter. She's haunting. Yeah, she looks like a character from Red Dead Redemption two.

[Ed Larson]

Mom, where have you been? Have you been thinking of me?

[Henry Zabrowski]

She says, no, I hate you. I haven't missed you at all. No. She's crying now, and now she's trying.

[Ed Larson]

To touch her face. She can't but she can't because it's digital and her hands are just going.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Through the digital reproduction of this wide eyed cartoon version of her dog daughter. Just kind of like hovering like a Street Fighter character waiting to be chosen. Like this isn't helping you, lady.

[Ed Larson]

Certainly not. The woman said that she would have, you know, it was nice to be reconnected with her daughter.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She wasn't though.

[Ed Larson]

But she, she said that it was sad that her daughter was still just seven, you see.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes, yes.

[Ed Larson]

Instead of like where the age she should have been.

[Henry Zabrowski]

So they wanted to grow her up hot.

[Ed Larson]

Well, I mean she would have been 11.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh.

[Ed Larson]

So. But it would have been nice to see her grow at all.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Honestly. Popped her up to 22, 23.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Invite some other guys in their future.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean make her stripper in the virtual world. Right. That this is. Honestly, I'm only joking.

[Ed Larson]

They gave her a frozen little purse.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Where does it up? Because I think that you just. That's what we're going to do. Like look at this. They took this child body, right? So they took a child, it took.

[Ed Larson]

A normal child and like a regular child and they put them in like VR like they, it's a camera bank.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Like a cylinder of cameras. It looks terrifying. It looks like Total Recall. They did this to a child that then they sub the head on to put her dead daughter's head on it and so that she could go wave her hands on it. But it doesn't really do much motion besides come out from behind this what looks to be a box of ammunition. It looks like a part fallout.

[Ed Larson]

Terrifying.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, this looks like this looks terrifying.

[Ed Larson]

There's trash everywhere.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This whole thing is horrifying.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

This whole thing is just like.

[Ed Larson]

I, I, I think this would be.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Okay if, if it was photorealistic and not like a weird like Polar Express style cartoon.

[Ed Larson]

I was going to say. I think it'd be okay if it was like reuniting you with a dog.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh wow.

[Ed Larson]

You know if like it was like your childhood dog or something that you wanted to hang out with again, I think that would be a little better than a human being.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think that we need a better relationship with death overall.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And we need to understand it's a part of life and it's nice.

[Ed Larson]

I should put Tootsie in the little VR thing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Do it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

So yeah. So that I wonder how long it would take to get the horn on her head.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Absolutely. Yeah. That'd be cool. Yeah. We put her in there and then what we'll do is and then we can turn her as well. What we do is a couple. So first, yes, obviously a little kid here on this body double. We're gonna do this. Then again 23 year old stripper, put her in there, do the same thing. Put the kids head on that.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Tootsie's head on that.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Right. Because then what we can do, it can go from Yen. You hang out, talk about emotions. It's nice to see be hanging out with Tootsie. Next thing you know you could pop some great tits on her.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Pop huge rack on her. Pop good button dick on her the.

[Ed Larson]

Moment you get sick of looking at Tootsie. Tootsie.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Boom. Exactly. And then guess what you also could do with it, man. Dicks and tickets. Tits.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You do butts you can do and.

[Ed Larson]

And tits and 20 dicks make a. Make a whole human out of dicks.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And this is what we're saying is when does the technology end?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, that's actually a great idea for a, a movie monster, but that's just, you know, too friendly.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Oh, does this you to death suck? Good to see you again.

[Ed Larson]

Get out of ears.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Quit tempting me with your five delicious bo. Oh, Henry, no, please, please see the inside of me. No. I'm so dehydrated from calming.

[Ed Larson]

I'm trying to guess which pussy is queefing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's a second or right. Wow. Wow.

[Ed Larson]

All right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I know because the right one is where the I'm getting the juice spray from. Yep. Well, that's your ass. I know that's ass. I know that's ass. It is great. I don't know if people are going to find that funny. I just think it's funny to have people crying at a bunch of cartoon daughters of yours because that's not seeing her again and I know it. I feel like it's obviously very complicated. It's emotional, it's up. People get upset. People get upset about it, but it's so ridiculous.

[Ed Larson]

I'm very sorry this woman's daughter died. I'm very sorry that happened to her. And they're going through a lot, but this is crazy. You know, if you're gonna fucking do this, know that we have.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Does it really help? Like does it help or is not acknowledging that they've passed on and in. In other ways or while they're alive? I know that technically the baby, the daughter died very quickly of blood based diseases which I thought what all diseases were.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But she definitely got like she was. Died very quickly and it's very Sad, but still, I don't know if this. I mean, but I'm not yucking your young. Yeah. And if this is what you want, then I guess you could have it.

[Ed Larson]

I don't know if it's going to make you feel better.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Do you remember the one where they had when Kanye west paid for Kim Kardashian to get the hologram of her father?

[Ed Larson]

No.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, you should look that up. He had. He had a hologram made of her father that showed up at her birthday party.

[Ed Larson]

What it say? Not guilty.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I watched my wife OJ and make you you. Oh, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Got one done. Like his mom would have the full crazy rack. Crazy rack that she was trying to get when she passed away.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I would expect no less. Cela. Isn't this nice that she got to see her dead father, talk to her in cartoon fashion.

[Ed Larson]

God damn. If Julie likes, like, I got you something for Christmas and it was your mom and it was my mom's ghost, like, dancing around the Christmas tree, I'd be pretty upset.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Buy me a leather bag next time. Yeah, buy me. There's so many things that can be purchased. Buy this in weed. Whatever amount of money you spent, put.

[Ed Larson]

It all towards weed and be so happy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's a gift.

[Ed Larson]

I can't believe I never heard of this.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You did not see this? Yeah, he's like. Sings her a song and stuff. It's. It is frightening. It is truly, truly frightening. And honestly, I don't think it helped their marriage.

[Ed Larson]

So proud of the woman that you've become, Kimberly, and all that you've accomplished. All of your hard work and all the businesses you have built are incredible. But most impressive is your commitment to become a lawyer and carry on my legacy.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She hasn't.

[Ed Larson]

It's a long and a hard road.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And she definitely has it. No, that's really sad. That probably costs like, it costs like a several hundred thousand dollars to do.

[Ed Larson]

Wow.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

That's amazing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, it's too much, too much money for something that's extremely sad and up is there.

[Ed Larson]

Who would be your hologram that you would want?

[Henry Zabrowski]

L. Ron Hubard. L. Ron Hub. The problem again, is.

[Ed Larson]

Has to exist already.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. But again, it's. The issue with it is that it's not thinking on its own. You have to write a script for it so it's not like it's coming out and like actually saying anything that would be in the mind of the hologram you want to talk to.

[Ed Larson]

I saw a Ronald Reagan hologram at the Reagan library.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, he had more function than the president when he was alive.

[Ed Larson]

It did look like the it. It had Alzheimer's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Oh, well, that's fun. See, that's fun. I like that there are some things in life that are okay to be a total crapshoot. Like my vodka picnics. You know, that's it's hard. It's hard to organize because sometimes a vodka picnic only really happens when I have a bottle of vodka and a bench. But the one thing that shouldn't be a crapshoot is finding a Doctor. And with ZocDoc, that's something you can do. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors. Choose the right one for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about in network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty. And I'm certain if you DM1 or 2, they might show up and hang out with you and drink hot vodka in the middle of the day. But largely they're busy doing their jobs because they're good, good Doctors on Sock Doc. SocDoc appointments happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. It's amazing you can even score same day appointments if you're lucky. So stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to Zocdoc.com left find and instantly book a top rated doctor today that z o c d o c.com left zocdoc.com left a hilarious new standup.

[C]

Special from comedy legend Jim Gaffigan. The Skinny is coming to Hulu November 22nd.

[Ed Larson]

This Thanksgiving, see Jim in a whole new light as he gives you the inside scoop on everything from parenting teenagers.

[C]

To weight loss and gaslighting family members.

[Ed Larson]

For everyone in need of a happy hour, the new hilarious stand up special.

[C]

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[Henry Zabrowski]

All right, we got this. This isn't one last story that I want to talk about here that is like horrifying to me. I know a lot of our listeners, we have a lot of bug people in the audience. I like bugs, which is fine. People like bugs. People like people keep spiders. But this is fucked up.

[Ed Larson]

I don't actually my house. But I like their existence.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I will. I do want to know side stories [e-mail]. those that, that do get exotic spiders. How do you get them? Like what, what, what way? Like where do you.

[Ed Larson]

There's all sites and stuff. I buy weird fish from all over the world.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But how do you know if it's legit and not from somebody like this? This story is ridiculous. This guy, a man was stopped. He was a smuggler, okay? He was, he was in Peru and he was at the Lima. He was at Jorge Chavez International airport. And he was stopped because the man, he was a 28 year old South Korean man who was smuggling 320 tarantulas, 110 centipedes and nine bullet ants in his jacket and pants.

[Ed Larson]

That's dangerous.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He had put them all and they said they had to bring him. They had to stop him because his jacket and pants were squirming.

[Ed Larson]

I'd be so mad sitting if he got through. And then you have to sit next to him. From a flight from Peru to New York City.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I don't care if you do it in a U haul, I don't care if you put it in the bottom of a fucking trunk. But the idea of you being in the cabin with me strapped with hundreds of spiders. Because I like spiders. I like spiders.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, but you're not hanging with them.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I would versus spider for the house. No, Natalie won't let me. But I keep, I do keep spiders that alive that are crucial. Spiders.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, so you don't kill the spiders in your house?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I essentially do a means of almost like a form of cutthroat late stage capitalism with the spiders in my home. Which is I look for closers. So if a spider's got a big web and a lot of flies on it, I leave it. But if a new spider shows up I knock it out.

[Ed Larson]

How many flies are in your house?

[Henry Zabrowski]

We get a lot of flies in the house because they. They all come up from the ground.

[Ed Larson]

You got to put bleach down your drain.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What, am I trying to make them white?

[Ed Larson]

No, you're trying to kill them. That's where they live. They live in the drains, man. They live outside, they live inside.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But I don't think.

[Ed Larson]

Sometimes they live in the walls sometimes, but they mostly live in the drain.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'll try it.

[Ed Larson]

There's a kitchen thing, the only thing I got.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The flies come in from outside. I know that.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because we don't have a screen door.

[Ed Larson]

Okay. But they also live in the drains. And so it was less than any poor bleach.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Rob, you used to be a plumber. Is that true? Not really.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Do you really put. Should you put pleats down the drain? They can grow. Like they can form in your kitchen? Yeah, they can form in. Yes.

[Ed Larson]

And especially if you don't. If you don't hit the disposal button as often as you should.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I always do.

[Ed Larson]

I'm telling you. Poor bleach on your drains, you're gonna see what you do. You're gonna see less flash.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Your kitchen sink? Yes, in the kitchen sink. You can do it. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

It doesn't matter. In the bathroom.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm just saying there's water traps and everything else. There's water traps. Okay. Yes, got it. I'm just asking Rob, because Rob.

[Ed Larson]

Rob is a plumber.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Rob is a plumber.

[Ed Larson]

But I know. I also have a food handler's license. We had to fucking do.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I forgot.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Forgot that you had that as well. Well, it doesn't matter because this guy did none of it. He saw that and he took it as an opportunity. He strapped these shits to his body and they took them all out. They size of them. Those are the size of the tarantulas that were little he was going to do.

[Ed Larson]

They're like two pounds each.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, dude, they were. He was crinkling in a crackle and walking into the thing.

[Ed Larson]

They.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He was surrounded by spiders. Actually did a really good job of saving the spiders because there were a lot. Because they. People love tarantulas.

[Ed Larson]

Test them for rabies, give them the same treatment the squirrel got.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That squirrel. Technically, it was sad. It is sad what happened to that squirrel. Yes, it is quite sad. We're still on it. I think this scares the out of tarantulas.

[Ed Larson]

Don't they bite? But it's not. You won't get that up from it.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Apparently no. And they can be. I wouldn't say that. Go as far as to say they're cute. I just think that spiders are extremely interested. Interesting.

[Ed Larson]

Are these all dead ones?

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, those are alive.

[Ed Larson]

The ones in the bags.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Some of them are dead. I think some of them might not be doing well. They might be asleep, man.

[Ed Larson]

I think torrential is awesome.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, they are awesome.

[Ed Larson]

Although I do live by the mantra that you shouldn't be able to shave a spider.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You know, like, it is kind of thick.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's got, you know, why is it staying warm? What's it doing there?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think it helps it sense its environment and then it helps things stick to it, man. That's why I have my hairs.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, yeah. You could see when something's getting close.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, I know exactly how any. How large and wide any tube is.

[Ed Larson]

That's how you find Natalie.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yep. That's the only way she'd know. I flushed it out. I. I did like I. I poofed it out like I was an Amazon bird. I think that we got. We have stories that we're saving for this week for a very special show in Humboldt County.

[Ed Larson]

We have a live show in Humboldt. I'm so excited. It's going to be this Saturday, hosted by Billy Way Davis. And it's going to be Henry and I doing side stories. That's Saturday, November 23rd, 8pm at the Mateal Community center in Redway, California.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We're going to have saying Humboldt, but it's technically Redway.

[Ed Larson]

That's. That's the town.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We are humble. The county to have a blast.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. As long as the bomb cyclone doesn't fucking kill us.

[Henry Zabrowski]

If we. If there is a bomb cyclone, we will be moving the show. But if not, we will be apparently.

[Ed Larson]

The bomb cyclones over on Friday. So we should. We should be fine. We should be fine also.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. I'm not flying in this small plane that we're in through a fucking cyclone.

[Ed Larson]

No. There's only certain planes. Like literally, we have to like turn the propeller ourselves before we go inside.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yes.

[Ed Larson]

But the classy night out. Almost sold out already. You believe that?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Dude, come check it out. We. I'm so excited for this show. We're gonna have a lot of special guests. Rintown for Christmas time.

[Ed Larson]

Yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Check it out. At the Masonic Lodge, December 21, we are large and in charge.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. And some of your LPN favorites will be there. Jackie Zabrowski, Amber Nelson and Cena Gosn Javi. We're gonna have a great time. And then Also, I want to say on December 12th is going to be the next hoopa goo goo game. HGX2. I'm so excited for that. That's going to be on the Twitch channel. That's Twitch TV. LPN TV. I can't wait. 6pm Pacific, 9pm Eastern. I love this hoopa Google game.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I do, too. So we all do. Everybody loves it. And good pud live is also tomorrow. This Thursday, we are doing live. 6pm we're having a bit of a Thanksgiving pud.

[Ed Larson]

Really?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah, buddy. Cranberry sauce, whole spread. That's already a pudding. Sort of. It's a gel.

[Ed Larson]

It's a gel. It's jello.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's jello.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. It's a pudding. And how do you feel about jello?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I think it's gross. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

What has more animal parts in it, Jello or pudding? Because pudding's milk.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Pudding. Because it's also got gelatin.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Oh, okay, good. So pudding's superior? Oh.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. Oh, very much so. I make sure you live every day knowing that you got a fucking almost full meal of pudding ahead of you. And you are gonna love the fact that your stomach is gonna hurt because you will be chasing it with wine or tequila.

[Ed Larson]

Right?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Because that's how you do good pudding, and that's how people like it. Because we do good pud. Why? Because it makes people laugh.

[Ed Larson]

No, it'd be a good pudding. Just. I probably already existed. This key lime pie.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I mean, that'll be delicious.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, that'd be actually really nice.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, but that's what we're going for, Eddie.

[Ed Larson]

You. You want savory pudding.

[Henry Zabrowski]

We want savory puddings. Or in the savory pudding space, the goal is to create the entree pudding. The entree pudding is the entree pudding.

[Ed Larson]

This is for when you and Jackie eventually lose your teeth.

[Henry Zabrowski]

No, I want. No, I want it with teeth.

[Ed Larson]

You want it with teeth?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, dude. Of course. Sometimes some puddings kind of have a chew to him.

[Ed Larson]

How about shrimp scampi?

[Henry Zabrowski]

I would love that.

[Ed Larson]

Shrimp scampi pudding.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Of course. I'm. Write that down immediately. I love shrimp scampi pudding.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, I think that'd be a really good.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I also, like. We had recently. The deviled egg pudding that we had was amazing.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, I actually tried a little bit of that, and it was amazing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Right?

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. I really enjoyed that. Actually surprise you. You'd think you wouldn't, but I love my deviled eggs, though.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Me too.

[Ed Larson]

I mean, it's all mayonnaise.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. Love it, dude, it's just if you put a bunch of mayonnaise in a cup and you call it put pudding. Is it pudding or is it mayonnaise?

[Henry Zabrowski]

If you're eating it and calling it pudding, that's called the power of magic. Go to patreon.com last podcast and left to pay. Do watch us talk.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

And we have a good time on there. Go check out all the BTs, all the. We got the reading lists, we got all this stuff. It's great.

[Ed Larson]

Also, every side Stories comes out twice on YouTube. Once it's just audio and once as video. So if you wait two days, you can actually see us jam around like.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Oh, God damn it. I just saw a story that we just missed. Man stole 67 pieces of underwear to hang on his masturbation tree. Oh, God damn it.

[Ed Larson]

That's kind of nice. Oh, I never thought to have a masturbation tree.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, it's Thailand. That makes sense.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Well, yeah, he mostly jerked off at this tree.

[Ed Larson]

They love trees out there.

[Henry Zabrowski]

They really do all sorts. And also there was one of the Florida doctor that was just walking around his doctor's office completely naked. And so this doctor, this is another story that I just didn't cover just because it came in out this guy was walking around. He was like apparently accustomed to it. And they all said that he's got used to what he called his free living lifestyle. So this doctor is just walking full ass naked in the throughout his whole office. He then casually goes into where all the nurses are. They're not reacting at all to him naked. He's in there. He then begins to play with his dick and balls and get hard and masturbate to full ejaculation all over the lap. That's one of the ladies. And guess what? The lady didn't even react. Incredible employees. He said apparently he'd been grooming them for a long period of time.

[Ed Larson]

Doesn't sound like it at all. Doesn't sound like he would if they were used to it in any way.

[Henry Zabrowski]

What's his name?

[Ed Larson]

You got to be a really good doctor to walk in naked.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He said that what they did was what he did. Which is. And I get. I'm not supporting better than a naked dentist. Oh, very much so. Why is that? But it's true. You know what he did that you could say is the best thing that he did was that every single time he was naked in the office, he'd give him money.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, well, yeah, that makes sense. Oh, he still has a Hat on.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, he's got a hat on, but no shoes.

[Ed Larson]

What's the point of being naked if you got a fucking hat on?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Look at. They're just working, buddy. Oh, he finds this hilarious stretching. He is like. He's got his foot up on the copier. Like he's doing all the stuff. Dude, he is naked as the day is. Naked. Naked, man.

[Ed Larson]

God damn. This is a doctor.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's on the phone.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, he's just doing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Letting his dingle balls. But then you find out later on is that. Then he jerked all over that woman's leg.

[Ed Larson]

Dr. Define yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Dr. David. Define.

[Ed Larson]

Yes. All right.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah, well, he did. He did give him a lot of money.

[Ed Larson]

So now he's eating pizza. Come on.

[Henry Zabrowski]

He's eating their company pizza.

[Ed Larson]

You can't lift the pizza box. Your dick is out less than a foot away from it. Pepperoni.

[Henry Zabrowski]

According to the doctor, that's what he says. I don't know anything about that at all. I have to see those things to have any idea what you're talking about.

[Ed Larson]

You put. This is your doctor's office. He's fucking put the security cameras.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All of this is on purpose. Every bit of this is on purpose. Well, hey, some. That's why it's important for you guys out there. Mm. Is that if you're making a jive, you're horny, right? You're horny boss. I'm a horny boss, but I save it for my family. But if you're a horny boss, you gotta set the temperature of that horny boss scenario up top. Right. My main thing is boss is naked. Technically, if everybody's not naked, he's a criminal. Yes, but if everybody's naked.

[Ed Larson]

Unless he's forcing them to get naked.

[Henry Zabrowski]

But unless you put that.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah. On the stipulation. If everyone's naked on their own accord, it's not forcing.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It's. You work here. Your neighbor naked. Well, if you don't work here, you're not. If you don't want to work here, fine. And be naked here. Sure. But you're naked and you're. If you're getting walked down here, you're naked.

[Ed Larson]

Needs to be on the sign outside.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Oh, no. It's called the naked doctor's office. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No very much, though.

[Ed Larson]

Okay. Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

It needs to be. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Very, very naked nursery.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Very much. Yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Naked Plumbers union.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Naked hospice. We already did that. Ho Spice. Naked hot spot again. Those are the hottest ones.

[Ed Larson]

Is this the guy?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Ed Larson]

Oh, see, he's all fat and bearded in this picture. He's just excited with it. He lost all the weight.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Wait till I.

[Ed Larson]

You know. He's just shooting himself up with oic.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Dude, I'm getting cut next year, so maybe I might get a little naked in the studio.

[Ed Larson]

I'll cut you right now.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You already do. Yes, I do. I. I show my dick and balls.

[Ed Larson]

You don't show your dick balls. But Henry takes his shirt off at all times.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm new. I'm on the show. This is my. This is my job.

[Ed Larson]

I know, but they'll be like, we'll just be working together, and you'll just lift your shirt up and start playing with your breasts.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You're used to it.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

You have to take.

[Ed Larson]

I'm not complaining. I'm just stating facts.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's what you have to take. That's my process.

[Ed Larson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Henry Zabrowski]

All right, well, let's get out of here. Hell, sit. Hail my process.

[Ed Larson]

Hail Korean VR children.

[Henry Zabrowski]

The only innocent kids I know.