Side Stories: The Audition - Last Podcast On The Left

Summary7 min read

Last Podcast on the Left – Episode: Side Stories: The Audition Release Date: January 22, 2025

1. Health and Physical Challenges

[00:54] Henry Zabrowski shares his struggles with shoulder pain and his experience with physical therapy. He discusses a unique exercise introduced by his therapist, likening it to an "ancient form of exercise" and humorously describing it as resembling a Roman salute.

Notable Quote:

"It's like a salute motion. If you can see it. I saw this. It's crazy. It was like, serendipitous." – Henry Zabrowski [01:08]

2. Gesture Controversy: The Roman Salute Debate

Ed Larson and Henry Zabrowski delve into the implications of gestures that can be misconstrued as Nazi salutes. They emphasize the importance of being mindful of body language, especially in public and political settings, to avoid unintended associations.

Notable Quotes:

"You might want to avoid any single motion that might be misconstrued for Ziggyl." – Ed Larson [03:22]

"It's just bad optics, you know, across the board." – Henry Zabrowski [05:04]

The hosts discuss the significance of gestures in media and public perception, highlighting the potential backlash from inadvertent use of historically charged symbols.

3. Henry's Audition Story: Navigating the Acting Industry

Henry Zabrowski recounts his tumultuous journey auditioning for "Saturday Night Live" (SNL). He details the intense audition process, his interactions with producers, and the subsequent fallout after his audition was featured in a 50th-anniversary documentary series.

Key Highlights:

Audition Process: Henry describes the high-pressure environment of SNL auditions, likening it to "a doctor's office" due to the meticulous scrutiny involved.
Initial Success: Despite feeling unprepared, Henry managed to impress some members of the production team, leading to his audition being noted for its uniqueness.
Rejection and Aftermath: The documentary portrayed Henry's audition negatively, suggesting he had faded from the industry. However, Henry emphasizes his continued involvement in acting and attributes the negative portrayal to producers misjudging his potential.

Notable Quotes:

"Innocent mistakes from South Africa. He doesn't know Nazis are." – Henry Zabrowski [04:05]

"The only thing I would take umbrage with the coverage of my audition in the documentary series." – Henry Zabrowski [09:07]

Henry offers insights into the competitive nature of show business and stresses the importance of authenticity over conforming to industry expectations.

4. Artistic Integrity: David Lynch vs. Wes Anderson

The hosts engage in a comparative analysis of filmmakers David Lynch and Wes Anderson. They explore Lynch's commitment to personal artistic expression and his resistance to external pressures, contrasting it with Anderson's more stylized and controlled filmmaking approach.

Key Points:

David Lynch: Celebrated for his surreal and introspective films, Lynch prioritizes personal vision over mainstream appeal. His ability to create immersive worlds without concern for audience interpretation is highlighted.
Wes Anderson: Known for his meticulous aesthetic and recurring themes, Anderson is critiqued for being a "parody of himself," suggesting a lack of genuine spontaneity compared to Lynch.

Notable Quotes:

"David Lynch was such a good example of like, you know, everybody who likes David Lynch kind of felt like, that's my direction actor." – Henry Zabrowski [29:27]

"I like David Lynch because he's trying to lose me. He doesn't give a." – Henry Zabrowski [30:27]

The discussion underscores the value of maintaining creative integrity and encourages aspiring artists to pursue their unique paths.

5. Current Events: Family Annihilations in the USA

The podcast touches on the grim statistic that "every five days a relative kills a relative in the United States of America." Henry Zabrowski highlights a recent tragic case involving Clifford Hunt Jr., who murdered his family members and subsequently took his own life.

Key Points:

Clifford Hunt Jr.'s Case: At 19, Hunt Jr. killed his father, mother, and 16-year-old brother before committing suicide. The tragic event emphasizes the severe issue of domestic violence and mental health crises.
Statistical Insight: The hosts discuss how such incidents, while alarming, are influenced by fluctuating statistics and media reporting, potentially skewing public perception.

Notable Quotes:

"Every five days a relative kills a relative in the United States of America." – Henry Zabrowski [39:23]

"He's willing to start a bid at 500k." – Ed Larson [50:55]

The segment serves as a sobering reminder of the pervasive issues of violence within families and the importance of addressing mental health.

6. UFO Footage Analysis: Ross Colhart's Revelations

Henry Zabrowski and Ed Larson analyze footage purportedly released by Ross Colhart from News Nation, showcasing an unidentified anomalous phenomenon (UAP) being airlifted by a helicopter. They scrutinize the footage's credibility, debating whether it depicts a genuine UAP or a hoax.

Key Points:

Immaculate Constellation Program: The discussion references a Pentagon program focused on retrieving UAPs from crash sites worldwide, suggesting the U.S. may possess multiple UFOs.
Footage Examination: The hosts question the authenticity of the "egg-shaped object" captured in the video, proposing it might be an egg on a stick or a prop to mock the claims.

Notable Quotes:

"But when I look at this footage, it is extremely difficult for me to not say that is an egg on a stick." – Henry Zabrowski [46:26]

"You can see clearly an egg shaped object that is 25ft long in a hammock being suspended by a helicopter." – Ed Larson [45:31]

The analysis reflects skepticism towards sensationalized UAP claims, urging viewers to critically evaluate such evidence.

7. Road Rage Incident: Attempted Organ Harvesting

The hosts discuss a disturbing case from San Antonio where Jose Israel Tehran Jr., aged 21, was charged with attempting to purchase a nine-month-old baby's organs. The incident stemmed from a mistakenly added group text message where Tehran, unfamiliar with the family, initiated a chilling proposal.

Key Points:

Initial Contact: Tehran was inadvertently added to a family group chat discussing a baptism. Misinterpreting the context, he made a grotesque offer to purchase the baby's organs.
Escalation: The situation escalated when Tehran felt slighted after being ignored, leading him to commit a road rage shooting targeting the family members.

Notable Quotes:

"He was mistakenly added to a group text message... He was like, that's a nice Caucasian baby. How much you want for it." – Ed Larson [50:41]

"He's willing to start a bid at 500k." – Ed Larson [50:55]

This segment highlights the dangers of digital miscommunication and the extreme consequences of such encounters.

8. Listener Emails and Light-hearted Topics

Transitioning to lighter content, Ed Larson and Henry Zabrowski engage with listener emails, discussing topics ranging from humorous takes on animal behavior to culinary preferences. They delve into banter about cooking techniques, specifically focusing on preparing tofu and lamb, infusing the conversation with their characteristic humor.

Key Highlights:

Cooking Discussions: The hosts share personal cooking tips for tofu and lamb, debating flavors and preparation methods.
Humorous Exchanges: Playful interactions about cooking mishaps and personal habits add a comedic relief to the episode.

Notable Quotes:

"I will go kiss some fruit. I'll be plum happy about it." – Ed Larson [54:51]

"You have to marinate it. You have to marinate it." – Henry Zabrowski [57:25]

The engaging dialogue fosters a relatable and entertaining atmosphere for listeners.

9. Promotion of Live Shows and Future Episodes

Towards the episode's conclusion, the hosts promote upcoming live shows in various cities, encouraging listeners to attend their performances. They also mention future episodes and express gratitude towards their audience and collaborators.

Key Points:

Live Shows: Announcements for performances in Huntsville, Dallas, Nashville, Detroit, Toronto, and Atlanta, with enthusiasm and humor.
Collaborations: Mention of guest appearances by personalities like Jared Logan and Ariel from Fraudsters, adding excitement for future content.

Notable Quotes:

"We're gonna be in Huntsville, Alabama at the VBC Mars Music Hall. And I want to say right now, NASA. Come for it, bro." – Ed Larson [37:32]

"Hail sweet Satan, everyone. And hail David Lynch." – Henry Zabrowski [64:21]

10. Conclusion and Final Remarks

The episode wraps up with the hosts expressing appreciation for each other and their listeners. They maintain their comedic rapport, blending gratitude with their signature humor, leaving listeners with anticipation for upcoming content.

Notable Quotes:

"This is been quite an episode of side stories and I want to thank you for being my partner." – Henry Zabrowski [61:35]

"Thank you. It really meant a lot to me to... It was like it is wild that I got to be a part of the 50th anniversary, whether I liked it or not." – Henry Zabrowski [64:51]

Conclusion

"Side Stories: The Audition" offers a multifaceted exploration of personal anecdotes, industry insights, and current events, all woven together with humor and candid conversations. From navigating the complexities of show business to dissecting UFO phenomena and addressing societal issues, the episode provides a comprehensive and engaging experience for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes of The Last Podcast on the Left.

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Transcript692 lines

[00:00]
Henry Zabrowski
With new McValue at McDonald's, the choice is yours. And the choice with McValue is always more like free four months of the SiriusXM app. Tap now or go to siriusxm.com mcvalue to claim your free four months of the SiriusXM App. And after, treat yourself to a buy one, add one for one dollar deal with McValue or make it a meal with the $5 meal deal. Because with McValue, you always get more than you expect. Terms and conditions apply.
[00:32]
Ed Larson
There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast on the left side stories.
[00:40]
Henry Zabrowski
That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Oh, God, what a week. You know, it's.
[00:55]
Ed Larson
Yeah. You feeling good? You stretch?
[00:56]
Henry Zabrowski
You know what it is? I've been having some problems with my shoulder. And I went into pt, right? And he. He explained me. He showed me this whole thing I'd never seen before. He was like, it's a sort of, like, ancient form of exercise.
[01:08]
Ed Larson
Can you show it to me?
[01:09]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. It's like he said that if I have problems with the right shoulder, it's go. Oh, yeah. It's like. It's like a salute motion. If you can see it. I saw this. It's crazy. It was like, serendipitous.
[01:19]
Ed Larson
Stick around to see the. The release of the video.
[01:22]
Henry Zabrowski
The key is that my shoulder hurts, so it's.
[01:24]
Ed Larson
Yeah, I see that.
[01:25]
Henry Zabrowski
That I have to do it like.
[01:26]
Ed Larson
Ah. And you know what that looks like?
[01:28]
Henry Zabrowski
What?
[01:29]
Ed Larson
A Roman salute.
[01:30]
Henry Zabrowski
Whoa.
[01:31]
Ed Larson
I actually.
[01:31]
Henry Zabrowski
That's kind of crazy now that you say that.
[01:33]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. From your heart out to the. Yeah. And we know that the Romans were. You know, they didn't have slaves.
[01:40]
Henry Zabrowski
No. And the Romans were innocent.
[01:41]
Ed Larson
Yeah. They were totally cool. They didn't kill Christians. No.
[01:44]
Henry Zabrowski
No.
[01:44]
Ed Larson
Christians. Alliance for Entertainment. Yeah. Yeah. Let me try.
[01:50]
Henry Zabrowski
I'm feeling better.
[01:54]
Ed Larson
Actually, there's another. My hips been hurting.
[01:57]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. Yeah. Is there another one?
[01:58]
Ed Larson
There's another one. Yeah. My hip's been hurting, so. Yeah. What's wr. Yeah, I'm trying to. I've been doing this one. Oh.
[02:03]
Henry Zabrowski
Big high steps.
[02:04]
Ed Larson
Yeah. And then.
[02:04]
Henry Zabrowski
You know what's funny?
[02:05]
Ed Larson
Do them together. If you do them together, you're just like, ah.
[02:08]
Henry Zabrowski
Actually, that's some really good cardio. Because what's nice is. You know what's funny? Just seeing you do that kind of reminds me of a silly little goose doing silly little goose steps. Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with my Best friend, Ed Larson.
[02:25]
Ed Larson
That's right. How you doing, buddy?
[02:27]
Henry Zabrowski
And we are obviously parodying a bit of what's going on here. See, I just. You know, if you're on my main takeaway from. From this whole week. Right. We're just not even gonna mention his name. I mean, we know I fight. Right. We're public figures.
[02:45]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[02:45]
Henry Zabrowski
In a way. And so I know I have, like, what you call impulsive thoughts.
[02:51]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[02:51]
Henry Zabrowski
On a public level. All time. And I'm put in front of people. Sometimes I'm. Sometimes I've been talking so long all week that sometimes I even forget, like, I'm on microphone. Right. And I forget that I'm on stage. I'm just constantly doing stuff. So you kind of just forget. But I'd say a big thing I'd like to give to any piece of advice to anybody who wants to be a performer.
[03:10]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[03:11]
Henry Zabrowski
Is that if you're ever in a situation where there's a podium and a.
[03:15]
Ed Larson
Lot of flags and people in front.
[03:17]
Henry Zabrowski
Of you and behind you. Right.
[03:19]
Ed Larson
Yeah. And if you're on, like, the. The. The steps of, like, the Capitol, the.
[03:22]
Henry Zabrowski
Bill of any big Capitol building, I'd say one thing you might want to do, might. You might want to avoid is any single motion that might be misconstrued for Ziggyl only just because people get mad. I'm not trying to shit on artistic expression.
[03:38]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[03:39]
Henry Zabrowski
We know that. It's a lucky thing. Everybody knows the swastika is lucky. Yeah. And. But it's just. It's just important to know is to think about what's this going to look like on YouTube, you know, what's this going to look like as a Still.
[03:51]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Especially, like, as a leader, as someone who's. Who's, you know, buying our country.
[03:56]
Henry Zabrowski
I don't know. But you know what? But I'm. That's. Innocent mistakes.
[03:58]
Ed Larson
Innocent mistakes. Innocent mistakes from South Africa. He doesn't know Nazis are.
[04:03]
Henry Zabrowski
No, they have something else.
[04:04]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[04:05]
Henry Zabrowski
They did a bunch of other stuff that his family was involved in.
[04:08]
Ed Larson
That's right.
[04:09]
Henry Zabrowski
So it's got nothing to do with hate. It's got to do with pointing in a fun, aggressive way.
[04:16]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah.
[04:16]
Henry Zabrowski
He was just so happy, so filled with exuberance.
[04:19]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah.
[04:20]
Henry Zabrowski
That he had to. Zig Heil.
[04:21]
Ed Larson
He had to.
[04:22]
Henry Zabrowski
Which, I mean, again, and I'll say this. And I. And I mean this and like. And there's nothing wrong with the hand movement in and of itself. Right. If you separate the hand movement, it could be throwing A bird. It could be throwing a rock.
[04:33]
Ed Larson
It could be, but no, but then you have to have a closed hand, I guess that that goes out.
[04:38]
Henry Zabrowski
You might be right. You might.
[04:39]
Ed Larson
It's a bad throw. Everyone knows classically you throw like a football. Like this.
[04:43]
Henry Zabrowski
Main thing is, you know what, you know what's a good hand motion for politicians? I feel your pain. Little thumbs.
[04:48]
Ed Larson
I see. I like this one. This is a jerk off.
[04:50]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. Yeah. But that's just what they do to themselves and to everyone at home and to the constituencies that they pretend to work for.
[04:55]
Ed Larson
Well, they got to do that. And they do the foot tap.
[04:57]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, that's different. That's different.
[04:59]
Ed Larson
That's.
[04:59]
Henry Zabrowski
Again, that's your guess. I do. You gotta chip that foot. You say whatever.
[05:04]
Ed Larson
Their excuse was like, it's not the Zig Hill. Mussolini used to do it. And you're like, why?
[05:10]
Henry Zabrowski
It's just this whole long conversation. Obviously, we're now a part of the smoke screen that they like to use. Like, this is a whole thing. Because also, the Zig Heil was based upon the Roman salute. So it was literally, it is a natural extension of the Roman salute. Yeah, it's all just. It's just bad optics, you know, across the board. So I would just say. And also just be really careful about standing next to a Nazi or being anybody who wants to be next to Nazis, because those guys need to be gotten rid of. Okay.
[05:37]
Ed Larson
Yeah. You're standing next to a Nazi, there's always a chance you'll get shot.
[05:40]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. I think you just got to be careful.
[05:42]
Ed Larson
I know that.
[05:42]
Henry Zabrowski
Okay. Because it's a bad look. Yeah, it's a bad look. And I. But I do want to remind our listeners, if you see a Nazi, you punch it in the goddamn face.
[05:51]
Ed Larson
All I know is I'm never getting in a Tesla again.
[05:54]
Henry Zabrowski
Never.
[05:54]
Ed Larson
I only drive American.
[05:55]
Henry Zabrowski
Yep. I only have these pieces of shit. But hey, we're not going to turn into Jimmy Kimmel. No, I'm not crying every day for the next fucking four years. I don't give a shit.
[06:06]
Ed Larson
No.
[06:06]
Henry Zabrowski
All right, so we're just going to move on.
[06:07]
Ed Larson
He is very successful.
[06:08]
Henry Zabrowski
He's doing very well.
[06:09]
Ed Larson
Yeah. If we did turn in the Jimmy Kimmel, our lives would be great.
[06:13]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, sure, of course. I'm just saying, if we chose that. I'm just not going to cry in front of you.
[06:17]
Ed Larson
Oh, no.
[06:18]
Henry Zabrowski
As a listener, I want you to laugh.
[06:20]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[06:20]
Henry Zabrowski
So we're just going to cry alone? Yeah.
[06:23]
Ed Larson
Or in front of my wife.
[06:24]
Henry Zabrowski
No, man. I don't even Cry for. The only person I cry in front of is my personal banker.
[06:28]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[06:29]
Henry Zabrowski
I go to the bank, See, I.
[06:30]
Ed Larson
Cry in front of Julian. I make her throw money at me.
[06:33]
Henry Zabrowski
See, that's what makes you feel better. Yeah. She takes it out your wallet, puts it back, and then you can put it back in your wallet and you just like. It's nice.
[06:38]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Because you cry when you lose money.
[06:40]
Henry Zabrowski
No, that's the thing. But then you can cry. We stop crying when you make money. Now, a lot of other news. There's a lot of. A lot of news happened this week.
[06:49]
Ed Larson
Yeah. What happened this week? Did anything. Were you. Were you involved?
[06:52]
Henry Zabrowski
Let's say. Okay, I'm. I'm having a ridiculous week. It has been so obviously there was big news on side stories today. I will say this is a vaguely light news week because apparently there was a presidential inauguration that happened. So it sucked the news cycle. But in the middle of that, I'm sitting in the airport.
[07:15]
Ed Larson
That's right. A brand new documentary.
[07:17]
Henry Zabrowski
Now, I had no idea, no idea that this was happening. I get one text that was like, oh, my God, Henry, I'm watching you naked. And I was just like, where's my money?
[07:30]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[07:31]
Henry Zabrowski
But you're like. I was like, what are you talking about? Because, well, obviously I was like, well, technically, I've been nude.
[07:37]
Ed Larson
You're on. You're right now. You're currently nude on three platforms now.
[07:41]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes, Netflix, the characters. I'm nude. Yes, YouTube, I'm nude.
[07:45]
Ed Larson
And now piss. Piss. Penis.
[07:47]
Henry Zabrowski
Piss Penis.
[07:48]
Ed Larson
Which is Peacock.
[07:49]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes, Peacock. It's penis. So I found out in the most hilarious. Like, I just can't even believe my life.
[07:56]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[07:56]
Henry Zabrowski
That I was featured as the number one refused audition for snl. Right. They said this thing about how they went over about outrageous auditions or whatever. Right. And then a producer for Saturday Night Live, Lindsay shook us, presented my audition. I don't know.
[08:13]
Ed Larson
Lindsay took us.
[08:15]
Henry Zabrowski
She's a fine lady. She's fine.
[08:18]
Ed Larson
I just got a face like a knockoff Gucci bag.
[08:20]
Henry Zabrowski
She's very. She does have a mean thin face.
[08:23]
Ed Larson
Her head should come with handles.
[08:24]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes. But she in real life, she's fine, right? She's fine and she's. I. And so we. A lot of people ask me questions. I. All of a sudden, my inbox explodes with. My audition was put into the 50th anniversary documentary series that charts how the show gets made. Yeah.
[08:44]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[08:44]
Henry Zabrowski
That's great.
[08:45]
Ed Larson
It's amazing. It's a big thing.
[08:46]
Henry Zabrowski
It's fucking.
[08:47]
Ed Larson
It's on Piss penis.
[08:48]
Henry Zabrowski
It's really crazy. Okay. The reason why it's crazy is because all the pickups, right? I got Time magazine likes. Do you see what they said? Oh, yeah, dude, it's Time magazine, People magazine.
[08:57]
Ed Larson
Also, if these motherfuckers are going to be talking about you and their goddamn magazines, mention the podcast.
[09:02]
Henry Zabrowski
It'd be nice if you say podcaster.
[09:05]
Ed Larson
But, like, say the name of the fucking podcast.
[09:07]
Henry Zabrowski
The only thing I would take umbrage with the coverage of my audition in the documentary series.
[09:12]
Ed Larson
I press.
[09:13]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, exactly, exactly. But the only reason why I took any, at first I was like, oh, my God. But it mostly was just because it felt like they introduced my audition and then it sounded like I just died. Right. Like I never did anything ever again.
[09:26]
Ed Larson
They really made it seem like you were like a forgotten human being.
[09:29]
Henry Zabrowski
And I am. But I also still act and I still perform.
[09:33]
Ed Larson
I'm here, right?
[09:34]
Henry Zabrowski
I am still here no matter what anybody says. And it's. But it's now I've, like, kind of absorbed it all, and I am just so tickled that this happened.
[09:44]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[09:45]
Henry Zabrowski
A lot of coverage, and I had a lot of people ask me if I wanted to. Like, you know, we were doing thing. I. I asked.
[09:51]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[09:51]
Henry Zabrowski
Like, should I talk about this in my process? And I figure I could for a couple minutes.
[09:57]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[09:57]
Henry Zabrowski
Right. And I just. Because the only thing I really want to talk about is even how I got into the place of having an audition for Saturday Night Live.
[10:04]
Ed Larson
Yeah, Yeah. I mean, what she said about it was. She said when someone comes out and doesn't get a laugh, it's the worst feeling because it was like, I picked these people.
[10:12]
Henry Zabrowski
Well, I think.
[10:13]
Ed Larson
What is that? She. Did she pick you?
[10:15]
Henry Zabrowski
No. So the long story is maybe how do I do this shortly? And. And succinctly, people want to know. They do.
[10:24]
Ed Larson
Kept it in the bag for so long, they opened the bag.
[10:27]
Henry Zabrowski
Because normally on the show we have content to talk about.
[10:29]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[10:30]
Henry Zabrowski
And so now this is me talking about this thing that happened to me. It's wild. I've never experienced it.
[10:34]
Ed Larson
You are in the news.
[10:35]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, sure. So how do you put this? So Saturday Night Live, in order to get anywhere involved inside of the systems of Saturday Night Live. So, like, maybe just an example is that the night I audition, they. They audition you at night. And I'm certain they went over this in the documentary. And the audition process has been gone over a bunch. Maybe we've talked about what it's like to go through. It's purposely Very harrowing with this one thing that Lindsay shook a. Sort of. The way that kind of puts it kind of. How do you. It kind of removes the context of. The writers are told to not react. Yeah, they are. They purposely don't react. That's the whole point. Right. Is that they want to see you cold. Obviously, there's political stuff inside of these rooms where you could see if some, you know, a faction of writers might be buddies with somebody or know somebody or want to be somebody. They might throw in a couple of laughs just to kind of pump them up. But it's. It's political. The goal is to be like, impress me cold. It's live. Do it.
[11:35]
Ed Larson
So, yeah, it's like a doctor's office.
[11:36]
Henry Zabrowski
It is very. It's very intense. And at the time, I thought I.
[11:39]
Ed Larson
Did take your clothes off.
[11:40]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes, I had to. So. But honestly, I will. I will say is I made the sound guy laugh, which is how I knew I'd got something somewhere.
[11:47]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[11:47]
Henry Zabrowski
And then I was also. I was on hold for the entire year.
[11:51]
Ed Larson
Remember that year? No, it was insane, because I remember when you actually did the audition, Holden, Ken and I were at, like, a bar waiting for you to get done. Like it was Goodfellas.
[12:00]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes, it was.
[12:00]
Ed Larson
Waiting for you to get made.
[12:02]
Henry Zabrowski
It was the scariest night of my life. And I was very, very young. I was very green. And so for Saturday Night Live to get on their radar, you normally have to work at some established comedy theater. That's a way it goes about.
[12:14]
Ed Larson
Pick random motherfuckers.
[12:16]
Henry Zabrowski
Not necessarily, but. And it's a lot of places they have histor. So obviously Second City in Chicago, in Toronto. There's Groundlings in LA now, like, especially more modern times. When I started really getting into it was like UCB became a fast way in because of the Amy Poehler, Tina Fey connections.
[12:32]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[12:32]
Henry Zabrowski
But they would also kind of go around and they'd scout. They would pick up some standups. When they wanted standups, they go look for standups. It's really depending on what they're looking for. And at the time, Saturday Night Live, not to be surprising, was looking for a white man.
[12:45]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[12:45]
Henry Zabrowski
And so I was one of them. Right. This is the truth. So I was one of the. These people.
[12:49]
Ed Larson
But were you the fattest at least? Of course. Thank God.
[12:53]
Henry Zabrowski
Who's going to do that? Who's gonna take that for me? But I went. So one way to get in is to potentially work for somebody that works for Saturday Night Live ahead of time.
[13:04]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[13:05]
Henry Zabrowski
And so, I mean, This. I was very young. It was 2010, January 2010, and I was on my maybe third pilot audition ever for a show called Beach Lane that was written by Paul Sims, who did news radio. And it was going to be the return of Matthew Broderick. It was to be. Matthew Broderick was coming to television. That was like a whole thing. It was Kristen Johnson from 3rd Rock from the Sun, Nick Thune. Nick Thune, Amy Garcia. These great actors. Great. Nick Thune was great. Now, all these guys were great. And it was this. It was the pilot of the year because it was produced by Lorne Michaels and Marcy Klein, Broadway Video. And we had no idea what this was going to be. So it was a network pilot. And I mean, this. This is the. This has never happened since. Besides my audition for Wolf of Wall street, where those are the. Both of the easiest auditions I've ever had was that Beach Lane audition and Wolf of Wall street crazy were just easy. I don't know why, but that one. I remember walking in there, it was raining and I was a mess. I was disgusting. It was the middle of winter. I came in, I was all wet. I was all discombobulated. The audition was only 5. I walked into the room and for some reason, me and the writer clicked. Me and Paulson's me click. Because I did a thing where I was like, there you are, Peter. I was going to say I was doing a bit with him. I forgot what happened.
[14:24]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[14:25]
Henry Zabrowski
For some reason, they hired me almost on the spot. They went and they took my tape and they tested my tape, which is a thing that doesn't normally happen in networks. And my tape went through a whole process without me having to deal with it. And it was. I got this amazing part and I think what happened was that I was so young and dumb and naive because I. Most show business people, you gotta understand, people that, you know, that are famous. Yeah, they've been acting since they're fucking three. Yeah, they all been in la, they've been in New York. They've been doing things. I'm arriving for the first time into, quote, unquote, show business at 25. Right. Which is actually kind of old, which is funny, right? It's old to join show business. And so I get this part. And because I had no idea what in the living fuck I was doing, I really think it helped me to crush it. So you don't know is that in these, these scenari, especially these network sitcoms, very, very high level, a lot of money is being dumped into this, right. They retrofitted an entire studio inside of the Pennsylvania Hotel in New York City. They made a studio for it. They built it. It was crazy. And so much money. You don't understand that every minute you're being watched and every minute you're being judged and they're ready to fire your fucking ass the second that you don't fit. And I at first didn't think that that was real until I watched the original lead of the show get fired that day, who was much more famous than me and much more famous than Nick Thune, who replaced him. He was a famous comedian. I don't want to name him.
[15:50]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[15:50]
Henry Zabrowski
But he got fired from that show, who was like the. After the first read through. And so you're like, so wild. But at first you just don't understand. You're like, oh, shit. Oh, you can get fired at any time. Yeah. For what seems like nothing and nothing just being the improper fit. So. But the thing is that it didn't phase me yet, so I didn't fully grasp that. So to be honest, I did extremely well. I did really well during the. All of the various levels of the readings.
[16:16]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[16:16]
Henry Zabrowski
I went in front of a live studio audience, and I felt at home. I was in front. It felt like doing Murder Fest. I was just doing essentially live comedy in a taped area. And I clicked. There was like a thing where I was like, you know, that you were like, wow, I can really do this. Like, network television. Something I think I can do. I have the timing for it.
[16:34]
Ed Larson
And you ended up doing network television multiple times.
[16:37]
Henry Zabrowski
I did, but the producer of that. I had one of the most dramatic nights of my life was after the shoot of that, we went upstairs. So we were all hanging out. And what's fun about show business is that those, like, their secret places. So I get invited up to a secret area where we could smoke inside.
[16:55]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Because especially back then, everyone smoked.
[16:58]
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, yeah.
[16:59]
Ed Larson
And it was like you. And that was where you got shit done. And how you got, like, gigs was just by smoking cigarettes or hanging out with the cigarette smoker.
[17:05]
Henry Zabrowski
That's just how it was. And one of the executive producers looked at me and said, how would you like to be on Saturday Night Live? And I was like, you know, it's a dream.
[17:15]
Ed Larson
No, I don't want it.
[17:16]
Henry Zabrowski
Fuck you. But now I know that's truly powerful. Yeah. Saying no is powerful, ladies and gentlemen. And you have to remember sometimes because it can make everything else turn around. You never know. But at the time, I was like, absolutely because this was when. When I got Beach Lane. I was on unemployment. I had to. I remember taking food from craft services home. I'd have to go and take the gro. All the granola bars and all the snacks and I'd have to jam them into my bag and I have to leave. And I remember all the time when it's like. Because we'd go out, like, I hung out with Matthew Broderick three or four times.
[17:47]
Ed Larson
Fucking lay's potato chips in your bag and granola bars and shit.
[17:51]
Henry Zabrowski
But Matthew Broderick's like, hey, you want to go out to dinner tonight? And I'm like, I don't know how to tell you, Mr. Broderick. I cannot afford to be anywhere nearby. You would have to be you to get it, you know. So we took us out a couple of times. It was actually really nice, but I was like, I was fucked. Yeah.
[18:08]
Ed Larson
Get in the car with them though.
[18:10]
Henry Zabrowski
What do you mean? I actually drove. I helped. Well, he. He said he pushed the pedals and I went by them. So that's how I got even into the world. And so I was picked by one of these producers. And it's just important for you to know that everything that happens on the eight stage does not happen on accident. My audition was ran several times.
[18:30]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[18:31]
Henry Zabrowski
They all had my tapes.
[18:32]
Ed Larson
They knew you were doing exactly every word you said knew was going to come out of your mouth.
[18:36]
Henry Zabrowski
They saw Murder Fist. They did a bunch of stuff. They research you. They know you. They know you extremely well. By the time you hit that stage, they know.
[18:45]
Ed Larson
They knew you so well that they knew. Hold it. And I.
[18:49]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes, because we also works is because we were total outsiders. Which you find out it's a bad word show business. Because we were total outsiders. I thought they were going to be so excited to welcome me and my bros that back riders room. And they were gonna be so thankful to have these three renegade faces in there and they were just gonna lay the red carpet out for us. It didn't work out like that.
[19:12]
Ed Larson
No. But that's like the Stooges joining the Beatles.
[19:15]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes.
[19:15]
Ed Larson
You know, like it's not gonna happen.
[19:17]
Henry Zabrowski
It's the Yankees. They're the Yankees of Dallas Cowboys.
[19:20]
Ed Larson
They are of comedy. That's why everyone hates it.
[19:24]
Henry Zabrowski
But I just want to say honestly that that's kind of, I guess as far as I can go. The audition itself, it's just funny because they knew what I was gonna do.
[19:31]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[19:32]
Henry Zabrowski
And I came out and I'll always remember Warmichael's favorite Bit was the naked bit. Oh, I always remember that was the specific note he gave. Love the naked monologue.
[19:40]
Ed Larson
I like it when you're naked.
[19:41]
Henry Zabrowski
But he also. And I don't even know I should say that technically what he. The note that I got back. The reason why I didn't get on was because the label, what they said was, we don't do you anymore.
[19:54]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Because Chris Farley died and John Belushi died and they were scared you were gonna fucking drink and do cocaine to death.
[20:00]
Henry Zabrowski
I also think it. To be honest, it's the vibe of the show changed the vibe of the show and what they wanted stopped.
[20:05]
Ed Larson
Like it started like that's when Saturday Night Live went from being silly to only saying things that are politically correct and current.
[20:15]
Henry Zabrowski
Well, it's basically more current events based impression, hardcore impression.
[20:19]
Ed Larson
Which they don't even let the cast members do anymore. Which makes me insane. Why would they time there's a new impression to do? They fucking. They bring in some A list actor instead of using the cast I fucking hired.
[20:31]
Henry Zabrowski
I do.
[20:32]
Ed Larson
It would have been a nightmare if you got it, man.
[20:34]
Henry Zabrowski
I do think that it's. It is extremely stressful to do it. If I were to do the audition again, I would change. But I. Maybe what I did not in terms of just the other things around it, but you know, I. There's a term that in comedy that you learn. One of the things I. You learn right when you start. Start off in doing acting in show business was that all my managers and agents when I first started, they'd always ask who's the. Who's the version of you that you want to see? Like they go like what career model do you want to follow? And Tony Orlando always. But the guy said, but he said to me like it was always asked these questions. So like obviously for a long time it was Chris Farley. Besides the death.
[21:14]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[21:15]
Henry Zabrowski
You know, and. But in. Within comedy teachings they have things that they call it. I want to say it goes back to like comedy del Arte shit where like one term was sloppy clowns. And that's what I was. I was a sloppy clown. Which is not derogatory necessarily. It just is an energy thing. And it was a thing that they sort of liked before.
[21:32]
Ed Larson
You would award as a badge of honor if someone called you that back then.
[21:35]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes. And this was in On Saturday Live. Especially at the time. It was more like they just kind of did. Weren't going for that angle. They were going for very clean cut. People with that style of like they can go Straight from this to a Revlon commercial to a network sitcom. And it's like there's no alt in there. Except for recently, Sarah Squirm, who I think is a genius. Yes. But these, like, these guys are. But otherwise, this is hilarious. It's just hilarious that it's like this. If you want to know anything else about this, they'll tell you anything you want to know. I forgot that I did the little bow. Yeah, I forgot that I did the bow.
[22:09]
Ed Larson
I just can't believe Lindsay Shook has came after you like that. Well, now to me, like, that's up because that's something like, like it's the ultimate. No offense. It's the ultimate punching down from a gatekeeping, powerful person. And like, that pisses me off. I just sitting there like, like looking like a. I've seen prettier things flopping around on a dock. How long do you think it took for them to get the hook out of her mouth before the interview?
[22:36]
Henry Zabrowski
All I'm saying is now I'm happy. I'm happy it happened. It's crazy that it happened. It made me realize, like, like, I mean, Natalie, you know, it's. Unfortunately, backhanded compliments are the only ones I normally receive.
[22:51]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[22:51]
Henry Zabrowski
And I like them. And I realized that that's me. And every single thing that I tried to destroy about myself or change about myself that I wanted to make like somebody else is why I have this job now and why I have this life.
[23:05]
Ed Larson
You've made your own life.
[23:06]
Henry Zabrowski
So that is what I.
[23:07]
Ed Larson
Not just that after that, that you get you. You become the star of a television show. Dude, I got directly after that, you get Wolf of Wall Street. You're in a Martin Scorsese. But then they're like sitting there pretending like you're a nobody. You're a CEO of a million dollar company.
[23:22]
Henry Zabrowski
They just don't. It's fine because they don't.
[23:24]
Ed Larson
It makes me so crazy.
[23:26]
Henry Zabrowski
It's because we're below. We are below them.
[23:29]
Ed Larson
Stork that delivers abortions, talks to you about you like that.
[23:33]
Henry Zabrowski
We're just slightly below them. And I don't care because you know what? It's nice is that I got so many beautiful messages.
[23:40]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[23:41]
Henry Zabrowski
From listeners, from co workers, people I haven't heard from in a long time. I got a lot of. Really. So I'm actually, I'm extremely thankful this happened. And it's hilarious.
[23:50]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[23:51]
Henry Zabrowski
And I, I. It sort of feels like a revenge. It sort of refills, like, it feels, sort of feels like. Well, in the end you had to include me. I did see some the only Lindsay shook as I have no problems with I now I got some information. I talked talk. I talk with some people. She's. It was not meant to hurt me. It was not meant to be upset.
[24:07]
Ed Larson
With like yeah, it seems like she was just being nice.
[24:09]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, it was.
[24:11]
Ed Larson
That's how like suicidal parrots act. You know when they picking their feathers off.
[24:16]
Henry Zabrowski
Oh yeah. Molting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah.
[24:18]
Ed Larson
Of course.
[24:19]
Henry Zabrowski
From your grave. You say you'll learn a new language each year but few actually follow through. You have no discipline. You can't change your life for the better. Sad. But Babbel makes it easy for you to learn one in less time than you think. Isn't that better making it easy? Babbel's 10 minute lessons created by over 200 experts help you start speaking a new language in three weeks or at your own pace. With a focus on practical real world conversations. It makes learning to communicate easy and effective. Much like I can learn how to say which means lazy in German because that's what you are, you dogs after New Year's. So make yourself unlazy unfair by getting yourself Babbel and learn a new language. Right now let's get more of you talking in a new language. Babbel is gifting our listeners 60% off subscriptions@babbel.com left get up to 60% off@babbel.com left spelled B A B B E L.com left babel.com left. Rules and restrictions may apply. I just want to say in the end it's really nice. The people who reached out to me was really, it was really fucking wonderful. And you know what? This kind of brings it around.
[25:37]
Ed Larson
My shirt you're wearing.
[25:39]
Henry Zabrowski
It might be you're looking in the audition tape right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was me doing Fright Jansen. Hello. That was right. Jensen. But I, I, you know, it's just, you know, whatever, man. I will say I saw some mean things. Someone want a once wrote about my audition but didn't name my name in one of the big Saturday Night Live think pieces like try to trash me. But that's just because writers are jealous of people that are naturally charismatic.
[26:04]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[26:04]
Henry Zabrowski
But everybody else is. It's, it's. I, I want. I'm extremely, utterly thankful like because it's crazy, man. This is me. And I think, you know what this brings us to is David Lynch.
[26:14]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[26:15]
Henry Zabrowski
Because I'm not comparing myself ever. But the idea of I was listening to Somebody talk about David lynch. And the one thing they said was like the center of his happiness. So David lynch walked around cigarettes. He was. But, yes, he loves cigarettes. Don't ever he. No one loves cigarettes like he loves cigarettes.
[26:31]
Ed Larson
No one does.
[26:31]
Henry Zabrowski
He wrote an ode to him on his deathbed. That's how much he loves cigarettes. Well, he viewed them. They were part of the art life. It was like a way for him to stand out. But what they said, they were like. Yes, they believe that meditation was one big key to David Lynch. But Laura Dern said something that I found interesting. I love Laurtern. And she said David had a serenity that seemed to come from his. His ability to express himself artistically without even once thinking about what somebody thought about the piece. He never thought like. He never thought about what the judgments would put on him. The only things he thought about was the. What he called the receiver. Was the person that watched his work. That is the reason why for so long, when people. There are all these memes of people saying, like, explain Eraserhead. Explain these things. And him saying, no.
[27:23]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[27:23]
Henry Zabrowski
No.
[27:23]
Ed Larson
Why would you. You fucking come up with it yourself. You're part of the. With lynch movies, you're a part of the story when you're watching it.
[27:30]
Henry Zabrowski
And with David lynch, he made movies very similar to the way he painted. And what he said was, like a long time was being like. Just straight up, like, I don't get why you want me to use words to talk about a visual medium. Like, why do you need me to try to explain something that's all in there.
[27:51]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[27:51]
Henry Zabrowski
And it's for you to pick apart. And there's something about, like. There's something in there. His. He struggled to make Dune because Dune was pushing him into a place he didn't want to go.
[28:01]
Ed Larson
They were forcing him to be a mainstream director.
[28:03]
Henry Zabrowski
He.
[28:03]
Ed Larson
Because also this very serious. Very similar to the SNL thing.
[28:08]
Henry Zabrowski
But he's told to be one. Right. He's told that this is the way to go, that this is the only way to go. When I went to Florida State University and got my stupid BA in theater, they never talked about there was any. The way that they talked about acting was essentially, you're never gonna make it. Yeah.
[28:25]
Ed Larson
They said you weren't gonna make because you're too big.
[28:27]
Henry Zabrowski
Everybody. All they did was tell acting students. They never explained that. There's so many way. There's so many ways. It's not just being a movie star. It's not just making IP for a major studio. There's so many ways for you to make a professional, sustainable way. And you see, David lynch probably got suited with, slapped with this shit, just being like, well, if you really want to go, you need to fucking do a big one. Which is like Dino De Laurenti. He did that shit because he essentially, he produced dude and then he then after the catastrophe that was Dune, he gave David lynch permission to do Blue Velvet because he said you can go do whatever he wants. And then he shows up with Blue Velvet. And so, so now I start to understand that. Which I think Ira Glass also said too. It's like it's all the things that you kind of maybe don't like about yourself and your work because it doesn't look like somebody else's work and you want it to look like somebody else's work and you want to kind of take away those differences because you want it to be like somebody else. But you don't understand. It's, it's. Those are the very things that. Why somebody likes what you do.
[29:28]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[29:28]
Henry Zabrowski
Versus why they like what that person does. And that David lynch was such a good example of like, you know, everybody who likes David lynch kind of felt like, that's my direction actor. I think. I think a lot of people felt like, well, I have a personal relationship with David lynch that you don't have. Because the art itself you have a personal relationship with.
[29:46]
Ed Larson
Because it's like, you know, he took everything like, first of all, like, overacting was good acting. Well, it's about him, you know, Like.
[29:53]
Henry Zabrowski
I love that actors were colors on his palette. And unlike Wes Anderson and some shade where they appear like props and mannequins, he let them live inside of his world. He just taught him the rules.
[30:08]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[30:09]
Henry Zabrowski
And that's what he would do. Like, if you ever listen to him direct. I love listening to David lynch give people directions.
[30:14]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[30:15]
Henry Zabrowski
It's all just being like, yeah, you're gonna want some wind in here. I love like that because he also trusted actors. Unlike Wes Anderson, he actually trusted actors because they would do a lot of stuff.
[30:27]
Ed Larson
I love Wes Anderson.
[30:29]
Henry Zabrowski
I just think that Wes Anderson, it's.
[30:30]
Ed Larson
Like now he's a parody of himself.
[30:33]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. Just if you're going to have people do it this way, just use. It should all just be animated because you obviously don't care about a humanity like you don't care about an actor living in there.
[30:42]
Ed Larson
His animated films are great.
[30:43]
Henry Zabrowski
They are. I actually think now they're better than his live action movies. Wow. Because they just, they don't have Anything. They don't have any heart, even a soul. Just like a pretty thing. It's just pretty. And it's like. Well, I do believe that has its place. It's not really for me. I like David lynch because he's trying to lose me.
[31:02]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[31:02]
Henry Zabrowski
He doesn't give a. He doesn't care. He's like, you catch up to me.
[31:07]
Ed Larson
I watched Lost highway this week and I've been. And I've been going through Twin Peaks which is an odd timing to be doing that. But I watched Lost highway in honor of lynch and man, it. It doesn't make any sense.
[31:20]
Henry Zabrowski
No, I love it. It fucking slaps, dude. Fucking. It's the best. I think Mulholland Drive it. I think Blue Velvet is this capital B. Best movie. Mulholland Drive is his actual best movie.
[31:31]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[31:31]
Henry Zabrowski
Lawson. I would probably put Lost highway right underneath that. Obviously, Twin Peaks the Return is his ultimate piece of art.
[31:38]
Ed Larson
Yeah, that's your favorite. That's why I'm rewatching it. Because I need to get to that.
[31:41]
Henry Zabrowski
The thing is, is that I also feel like Twin Peaks the Return. You don't really get anything out of it unless you've watched every single piece that he's ever made. Because it's all in there. You seen rabbits?
[31:53]
Ed Larson
I don't even. I mean, I love rabbits. You know the rabbit stew.
[31:56]
Henry Zabrowski
No, you should look up. His rabbits thing is really weird.
[32:00]
Ed Larson
Is it a movie?
[32:00]
Henry Zabrowski
I never even heard of it. A long short piece.
[32:04]
Ed Larson
Oh, okay.
[32:04]
Henry Zabrowski
It is a 42 minute piece.
[32:08]
Ed Larson
Okay.
[32:08]
Henry Zabrowski
That he made featuring these rabbits living in this weird liminal state.
[32:14]
Ed Larson
Oh, okay.
[32:14]
Henry Zabrowski
And things coming. That's awesome.
[32:16]
Ed Larson
Oh, I'll totally watch this.
[32:17]
Henry Zabrowski
Dude. No, you got to see rabbits. Cuz you see kind of some stuff in rabbits that actually shows up in Twin Peaks the Return. Interesting. With it's puppets. Fire Walk With Me has stuff from Twin Peaks the Return. There's also stuff from. He has he. There's little bits.
[32:29]
Ed Larson
Fire Walk With Me is Twin Peaks.
[32:31]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes. But Firewalk with Me is crucial to watch Twin Peaks to return.
[32:34]
Ed Larson
Yeah, I know. I. I was waiting till I finished the second season before I did Fire Walk With Me. That seemed like the right move.
[32:40]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes. Watch it all together. Obviously Twin Peaks dips in the sec in the middle of season two. But that's more mark a mark for us problem than a David lynch problem.
[32:48]
Ed Larson
Well, that. Yeah, that exactly. That was the producers who made him.
[32:51]
Henry Zabrowski
Solve the murder because they said they wanted him to be something that he wasn't. And then what he did with Twin Peaks. The return was lovingly tell us all to go ourselves because why do you expect something out of me? Yeah, like you should be here, man. Just come watch this thing. This is gonna be like Twin Peaks. The return was so exciting because of it.
[33:12]
Ed Larson
You know what I was enjoying this week was his music.
[33:14]
Henry Zabrowski
Dude, he's wild.
[33:16]
Ed Larson
I was listening to his music a lot while I worked this week and it really kind of like put me in such a fun, weird state.
[33:21]
Henry Zabrowski
He'd also make his own props. Yeah, a lot of stuff. There's pieces in all of the movie. I don't know if you see it. There's some background footage from Twin Peaks, the return of him making some stuff randomly.
[33:30]
Ed Larson
So he'll just like a seven hour doc from that.
[33:33]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes, it's on the. The DVD collection, which is great. Also get his stuff on dvd because the transfer shift. Except the Criterion Collection. The Criterion app is fantastic.
[33:43]
Ed Larson
Yeah, go live on that. I live on that.
[33:45]
Henry Zabrowski
But he did all of this stuff. He makes a bunch of his own weird ass props. He just likes doing everything. He's just the. He's just was a. He was pure creativity and the world is less that he has gone from it. And so the goal I think is for somebody out there, some young person out there to become next him.
[34:02]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[34:02]
Henry Zabrowski
In a way that challenges people.
[34:05]
Ed Larson
I mean it's not just anyone could. I mean you're not even allowed to anymore. Well now no one's gonna give you any money. You have to have the prestige behind you in order to get that.
[34:14]
Henry Zabrowski
I. I think it's time for this to stop.
[34:18]
Ed Larson
The chicken dinner scene in Eraserheads, one of my favorite moments in film.
[34:21]
Henry Zabrowski
I just think it is we got to start making a rope. But guys, let's. I think the one motive we're going to. One motif we're going to see over the next four years is that we are on our own. And I think a part of that is to. You got to make stuff that you want to see in the world. If we want to wrestle.
[34:41]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[34:41]
Henry Zabrowski
The attention span away from these giant tent pole pieces of shit things that are going on.
[34:47]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[34:47]
Henry Zabrowski
Because they don't care. It's all just Chinese propaganda. All right. So at some point we need to take the reins back. We have to take them back. They're doing it in Hollywood. They're doing it in horror.
[34:57]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[34:57]
Henry Zabrowski
With independent horror.
[34:58]
Ed Larson
Very much so. Well, horror always follows.
[35:01]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes.
[35:01]
Ed Larson
The. The, you know. You know, like how it always follows the world. You know, like how the purge started during the last Election, you know, and stuff like that, you know, or two elections ago, you know, it's all like, it all mirrors society at all times.
[35:14]
Henry Zabrowski
But if you don't bank on yourself, there is no one. No one will. Yeah, no one's coming. There's no cavalry. There's no. It's you. You have to. It's up to you.
[35:24]
Ed Larson
Also, if you make something and it's not successful. Oh, well, make something else.
[35:30]
Henry Zabrowski
There's an axiom, we're trying to do it lpn. It's called fail faster.
[35:34]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[35:35]
Henry Zabrowski
Fail faster. Move it forward faster. Get it out. Because yeah, there's like, everybody's got attention span problems, but honestly, I think it's just because they want good food.
[35:49]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[35:49]
Henry Zabrowski
And if they got it, they're just slurping it down. That's why everything's called binging. All this kind of horseshit is that it's slurping down.
[35:56]
Ed Larson
Oh my God.
[35:57]
Henry Zabrowski
Slop. And it's like, no. David lynch made food.
[36:00]
Ed Larson
They're making. There's reports where Netflix is like making television so you can what you'd be able to like look at your phone while you're watching it so you won't miss anything. That's just depressing.
[36:11]
Henry Zabrowski
That's funny.
[36:11]
Ed Larson
Yeah, that is super depressing. Now we're talking about David Lynch. You know, I just wanted to give real quick shout out. Garth Hudson also passed away.
[36:20]
Henry Zabrowski
I know. We love the band.
[36:22]
Ed Larson
I love the band. Is my. It's. If you ask me, my favorite band is. I usually say the band. Garth Hudson's the last surviving member. The oldest, crankiest one was the one that outlived everybody.
[36:34]
Henry Zabrowski
That's how it goes.
[36:34]
Ed Larson
Crazy.
[36:35]
Henry Zabrowski
He, he's was a name.
[36:38]
Ed Larson
Yeah. If you ever watched the Last Waltz or anything like that, he's the long haired, bearded, crazy looking scientist dude. He's playing like five keyboards at once.
[36:46]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, he just. Chest fever. They're one of my favorite songs.
[36:48]
Ed Larson
Oh my God, he's so good. Garth Hudson, he was amazing. I love him with all my heart in the band. When he, when they asked him to join the band, he wouldn't. He didn't join the band because he couldn't explain to his parents that he was joining a rock band band. So he charged them all, everyone in the band, $10 a week to. To pay him for music lessons. So he told his family that he was a music teacher, not a rock and roll star.
[37:13]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. Hilarious.
[37:15]
Ed Larson
Yeah. And so that's. He was that kind of guy. And he was a very insular, very private Man. And you were amazing. Garth Hudson, thank you for everything, seriously. But.
[37:25]
Henry Zabrowski
All right, let's do one couple stories before we do the what?
[37:28]
Ed Larson
I got one more thing. We got a new show, new side stories. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[37:32]
Henry Zabrowski
We're in Huntsville. All right.
[37:33]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Huntsville on March 16th. It's a Sunday. We're gonna be in Huntsville, Alabama. Right. That's. That's two days after our Nashville show at the. At the Ryman. So make sure that. Which is gonna be on the 14th of of March. But yeah, we're gonna be in Huntsville, Alabama at the VBC Mars Music Hall. And I want to say right now, NASA. Come for it, bro. You want.
[37:58]
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, you could have.
[38:00]
Ed Larson
We're coming to your town, bro.
[38:01]
Henry Zabrowski
You gotta know you.
[38:04]
Ed Larson
You come for my boy.
[38:06]
Henry Zabrowski
I'm gonna ask you questions.
[38:10]
Ed Larson
Lindsay shook us, bro. You ain't, man.
[38:14]
Henry Zabrowski
Unbelievable. Honestly. NASA, please come, y'all. We'll put you on the list.
[38:17]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah. If you want to come, we'll make.
[38:18]
Henry Zabrowski
It free side stories lpotl.com Die from your grave. All right, here we go. In much lighter news.
[38:29]
Ed Larson
Yes.
[38:29]
Henry Zabrowski
Family annihilations. Oh, really?
[38:32]
Ed Larson
What's going on? I feel like every week I'm like, family annihilators have turned into the new dog. But I know we also have a dog this week. We're not talking about it. But you just know he. They call. He's a man from where? And you know, and they call him Aware Man. And he's trying to be a werewolf. That's my only joke.
[38:49]
Henry Zabrowski
Disgusting.
[38:50]
Ed Larson
And I'm staying away from it. But that's. There is a dog. We're not talking about it, but because we have to talk about this. Another family annihilator.
[38:57]
Henry Zabrowski
So I. The only reason why I'm even bringing this up was because of. I read about the. The kid again. Yes. Clifford Hunt Jr. 19. He shot his father, Clifford, mother Michelle, and his 16 year old brother all in the head. And they. The brother, little brother, who's the one who called 911 that it was happening.
[39:13]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[39:14]
Henry Zabrowski
And then he killed himself. But the one thing that blew my mind. Do you know that every five days a relative kills a relative in the United States of America?
[39:24]
Ed Larson
That's pretty. You know, that's actually, you know, forever. How much everyone hates their family. I don't think that's that bad.
[39:30]
Henry Zabrowski
Every five days now, now, does this.
[39:33]
Ed Larson
Count for 20 days? Because four people were killed.
[39:37]
Henry Zabrowski
I think that's a part of. No, it just kind of throws off the average.
[39:40]
Ed Larson
Okay.
[39:40]
Henry Zabrowski
This probably bumps it up to four.
[39:41]
Ed Larson
Okay.
[39:42]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, Yeah. I think it's one of those where it bumps it up. Now what I do found interesting what I thin was also like, this is right outside of Pittsburgh and I was just in Pittsburgh, which was cold as balls. Also shout out to the chefs over at Rivers Casino. Straight up had one of the most delectable short rib wedding meals I've ever had. But I'll tell you what, skip the wheelhouse. If you're at Rivers Casino, don't eat at the wheelhouse. I saw a mouse and it was not cooking, but it was in the kitchen.
[40:14]
Ed Larson
You know what they say about eating at casinos?
[40:16]
Henry Zabrowski
What?
[40:17]
Ed Larson
The mouse always wins.
[40:20]
Henry Zabrowski
Funny stuff. I thought you were going to say, oh, it's a gamble.
[40:23]
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah.
[40:23]
Henry Zabrowski
Now what's. Sorry, I didn't make Saturday Night Live.
[40:28]
Ed Larson
No, you didn't.
[40:29]
Henry Zabrowski
No. Well, you did now. Well, sort of.
[40:31]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[40:31]
Henry Zabrowski
Still only the peacock documentary. Now then I looked up, right. Because I wanted to see how far it was from Pittsburgh. But one of the chefs over there. You did a great job. I met you today while we. Well, money. One of Natalie's first students in her dance classes. She taught this little girl dance. Now she's a full grown adult and we want her to get married. It was very, very sweet.
[40:52]
Ed Larson
Wow.
[40:53]
Henry Zabrowski
But thank you, buddy.
[40:54]
Ed Larson
Still dance?
[40:55]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes.
[40:56]
Ed Larson
How was the first dance?
[40:59]
Henry Zabrowski
They did a very. It was choreographed. It was lovely. It was a lovely time.
[41:03]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[41:04]
Henry Zabrowski
Now I would look up to where this family annihilation happened though, and it was that. North Swickley Township, Pennsylvania. Now I thought these were outside of Pittsburgh, but then I clicked on it when I loved it. Is that when I Google searched it just to see. This is the first thing that popped up. This is the only picture of North Seward Township that ever showed up. This guy.
[41:22]
Ed Larson
Oh yeah.
[41:23]
Henry Zabrowski
This is the only picture on the Google Maps account is a man sitting.
[41:28]
Ed Larson
Against a rock with a bandana.
[41:30]
Henry Zabrowski
The most pencil tucky man you could possibly see. Shorts. Oh, God.
[41:36]
Ed Larson
Just wearing shorts to the inauguration in a hoodie.
[41:39]
Henry Zabrowski
Hashtag mood, whatever. He did great. He did great. These pieces of. He shouldn't have shown up. If he wanted my respect, he wouldn't have been. But like. But these guys look these. It's just so funny. That was just. I just looked it up. That is the only picture from Northern A cigarette. North Swickley Township he's got there. Yeah. He's got a weird. He got. That's a big old bandana he's got.
[42:00]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[42:00]
Henry Zabrowski
And you know what? He's enjoying a cigarette just like A good old, like, sitting there doing nothing.
[42:04]
Ed Larson
Putting the board in board shorts.
[42:06]
Henry Zabrowski
I'll tell you what. You know who loves cigarettes? Pittsburgh.
[42:09]
Ed Larson
Oh, my God.
[42:11]
Henry Zabrowski
That is still. They are smoking, yo.
[42:14]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Yeah. I love Pittsburgh. I want to. You know, I've only hung out there once, and I was. I went in thinking, okay, this is gonna be one of the worst cities I ever go to.
[42:25]
Henry Zabrowski
It's not.
[42:25]
Ed Larson
And I really liked it.
[42:26]
Henry Zabrowski
No, it's beautiful.
[42:26]
Ed Larson
Really enjoyed it.
[42:27]
Henry Zabrowski
There's a heart in Pittsburgh. It's beautiful. I love that place.
[42:29]
Ed Larson
Unfortunately, that heart is, you know.
[42:31]
Henry Zabrowski
French fries.
[42:32]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Yeah.
[42:32]
Henry Zabrowski
Slammed with Permani brothers.
[42:34]
Ed Larson
I love my permanent brothers. They opened one in Florida.
[42:37]
Henry Zabrowski
Don't eat there.
[42:38]
Ed Larson
I mean, I'm gonna go.
[42:39]
Henry Zabrowski
If I don't eat the Florida Manny brothers.
[42:40]
Ed Larson
I mean, what. It's not. If I'm in Florida, there's not. Like, this sucks.
[42:45]
Henry Zabrowski
It's only supposed to be in Pittsburgh.
[42:46]
Ed Larson
I mean, it's. You know, I'm sure it's delicious.
[42:48]
Henry Zabrowski
We'll see. We'll see. Oh, and this. The only other. The only main thing I really wanted to look at but was.
[42:57]
Ed Larson
Are you done with the family annihilation?
[42:58]
Henry Zabrowski
I'm done with the family annihilation. That's all I have. That's all we have. So we don't really know. Everybody's dead.
[43:02]
Ed Larson
Yeah. The family's gone.
[43:03]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. I just really wanted to talk about that shocking statistic, which is ridiculous, but I wanted to talk about this now. Guys know with my UFO footage.
[43:12]
Ed Larson
Oh, you love this.
[43:13]
Henry Zabrowski
Now, I'm only showing this footage to you, Eddie, because I'm finally starting to see, like, this one was the first one I saw where it's like, I think that this one is stupid. Now, this was a big deal. Now, News Nation, which is, you know, it works out of Australia, one of their main correspondence is a man by the name of Ross Colhart. Yeah, Ross Colhart used to be on 60 Minutes Australia. He was a big deal. Like, he's a bit. He's a real investigative journalist, and he was a part of the guy. He was the first that did a big expose with David Grush. Like, he's now.
[43:48]
Ed Larson
So you love this guy?
[43:49]
Henry Zabrowski
I love this guy. This is also a guy who's totally legit, just like George Knapp, who was driven utterly insane by the material and is now stuck in this. Right? Yeah. And he says that he received video. Now, what part of what we've been talking about over the last couple months is about was called Immaculate Constellation, which is a program inside of the Pentagon that was going out and pre drone. This is pre drones. This is the. These were. There was a UAP retrieval program that was a top secret program that would send people out to supposed crashes. And it's why the United States of America might have 12 UFOs.
[44:28]
Ed Larson
Right.
[44:28]
Henry Zabrowski
Is that that We've scooped them up from various parts of the world. We go into other countries.
[44:33]
Ed Larson
When's that number 12 from? That's years ago. Right?
[44:37]
Henry Zabrowski
Well, we don't know. We actually really don't know. We don't know if that's old info compared to the new info. How long. That's your David, number 12, David Rush, because that's when he started talking about this last year.
[44:45]
Ed Larson
Okay.
[44:45]
Henry Zabrowski
Was David Grush. Now what Ross Colhart, who has been sort of the tip of the spear of this whole story, he finally received some of this footage. One of the big issues, right. You remember when the big UFO conference they did in front of Congress, Dr. Napoleon about it, they said on that one was that we have terabytes of 4K UFO footage that would blow your mind. Right? That's all they said. Did they show one? No. They show even a clip of it? No.
[45:14]
Ed Larson
No.
[45:14]
Henry Zabrowski
Right. But this is the stuff that I guess they have decided to leak to Ross Colhart. Now they have sent what he says is a man has sent him information, a man that has said under the duress of his life he thinks he will be murdered.
[45:31]
Ed Larson
Okay.
[45:32]
Henry Zabrowski
If he. They find out where the source of this leak came from and what. We have here some of the most definitive footage of a UAP being airlifted by helicopter.
[45:42]
Ed Larson
Okay. News Nation has independently obtained previously unseen video obtained from a secret UAP craft retrieval program. This extraordinary footage clearly shows an egg shaped object dangling in a sling below the belly of a helicopter.
[46:04]
Henry Zabrowski
Now here we can shut the sound off here. Now the problem is, is that it says here you can see clearly an egg shaped object that is 25ft long in a hammock being suspended by a helicopter.
[46:16]
Ed Larson
Yeah, it's rolling around.
[46:18]
Henry Zabrowski
Unfortunately, when I look at this footage, it is extremely difficult for me to not say that is an egg on a stick.
[46:27]
Ed Larson
Yeah, that is the problem. Yeah. The problem is the shadow's big.
[46:32]
Henry Zabrowski
Not necessarily. Because this could all be shot in miniature.
[46:36]
Ed Larson
It's true.
[46:36]
Henry Zabrowski
It looks like the end of a stick with a piece of string.
[46:40]
Ed Larson
It does.
[46:40]
Henry Zabrowski
With a napkin wrapped around an egg. And that's my problem is that. Yes, because now you're going to hear because Ross Colhart begins to describe the egg. He's like as you can see it's. Now it's completely round. No doors shaped like an egg.
[46:53]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[46:53]
Henry Zabrowski
You know, and you're like, it. It does.
[46:56]
Ed Larson
It's a U egg P.
[47:00]
Henry Zabrowski
Honestly, now I want that on a brunch menu. Just. I never doubt.
[47:09]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[47:10]
Henry Zabrowski
And this is the first one I saw where it's like. So is the disinformation now is this when the disinformation. So it's saying here that it's, it's.
[47:18]
Ed Larson
Going to turn out being the only one that's real.
[47:19]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, I know. I bet it must. I hope so. I pray, I pray that you look at it. It's just, it's so hard because everybody's just ragging on this on the, in the comments. Yeah, the comments. It's just people are destroying News Nation over this and I guess that's what's hard, is that is, is like, Ross, it's not helping us. Yeah, this shit's not helping us, buddy. Okay.
[47:44]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Wait for a better video. We.
[47:46]
Henry Zabrowski
This is not. If we could have just, just a second. If he could have just separated himself from the excitement for a second just to be like, now how is this not an egg? You know, I mean, like, if he could have just said that being like cuz he keeps saying egg shaped craft. How does he not know? How does he. How does he know that that's not an egg?
[48:07]
Ed Larson
Well, he had better footage, but someone poached it from him.
[48:09]
Henry Zabrowski
That doesn't make. I hate you. You're why I didn't get Saturday Night Live. My connection to you is why. But it does make me sad.
[48:24]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[48:24]
Henry Zabrowski
Because I wanted this to be better.
[48:26]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[48:26]
Henry Zabrowski
The oak's on him, the yolks on. All of a sudden he may have cracked the case.
[48:32]
Ed Larson
I don't know.
[48:33]
Henry Zabrowski
Shut up.
[48:35]
Ed Larson
Shut up.
[48:36]
Henry Zabrowski
I was held back. Shut up. No, no, no, you're right. But no, this just makes me sad because it's like, I just feel like he should have. If he was going to literally blow his wad, it should not have been on this egg. Right.
[48:53]
Ed Larson
He does look like a pile of egg whites himself.
[48:56]
Henry Zabrowski
He's Australian. He's Australian, man. And he just seems. He's. But he's, he's a very important journalist.
[49:04]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Well, what comes first, the baby or the egg? Because I got a story here.
[49:09]
Henry Zabrowski
I think that technically the baby eventually turns into the person that comes into the egg.
[49:13]
Ed Larson
Well, in San Antonio, a man who was formerly an egg is now charged in a road rage shooting earlier this week is also accused of trying to purchase A nine month old baby to harvest their organs. According to San police.
[49:31]
Henry Zabrowski
What was the problem is that his car not go through. Is that what it was? And they cut him off.
[49:36]
Ed Larson
I got this off of FARC. Jose Israel Tehran Jr 21 is charged with the prohibition of the purchase and sale of human organs in addition to one count of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. From Monday shooting. Police said that on December 30, 2024 Tehran was mistakenly added to a group text message of a family of family members discussing the details of a nine months old baptism.
[50:02]
Henry Zabrowski
So all. So he did not know the family?
[50:04]
Ed Larson
No, he did not know the family. There was a group text. They accidentally add this demon to it.
[50:09]
Henry Zabrowski
How did he. How, how?
[50:11]
Ed Larson
Oh, because he has the same. The uncle had a phone number and he changed his cell phone number. Then this guy randomly got the phone number and so. And the uncle's number wasn't taken out of the other person's phone. So he was added to the. And he said. And then he responded when they were talking about the baptism, he was not a part of the family respond. He's like that's a nice Caucasian. Bab much you want? And they, they said wrong number, you know. And then they tried to block him.
[50:41]
Henry Zabrowski
Sir, no thank you sir. Thank you for the offer. Sir. Don't. Thank you.
[50:45]
Ed Larson
So one of the family members blocked him but then he was texting everyone else still because they didn't know how to block him. And then he said are you interested in selling? I'm willing to start a bid at 500k.
[50:56]
Henry Zabrowski
Now we find out which family members deleted the number or later on we're like 600k. 625.
[51:11]
Ed Larson
He was willing to meet the same night to right now.
[51:15]
Henry Zabrowski
No, absolutely. I need that baby now, buddy. I need a tiny liver, I need little lungs. I need something to hang for my rear view mirror.
[51:22]
Ed Larson
He also threatened that he knew the address of the church where the baptism was scheduled and he also knew their home address because it was sent earlier in the group thread.
[51:30]
Henry Zabrowski
I mean that's their mistake.
[51:31]
Ed Larson
Yeah, mistakes. Yeah.
[51:33]
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, here. I like this here. I'm gonna check this. Okay. This is the first. This is the first text. Good morning and happy early new year. I am attaching an invitation to blank baptism. No pressure to attend. I just wanted to invite everyone. The baptism will be at. Blah blah blah. We will be. We will attend it toward the noon, 12 noon mass and the baptism starts at 1:30. We'll have a light lunch and refreshments to follow at our House afterwards. Hope you can make it.
[51:58]
Ed Larson
And then he says, caucasian baby, how much you want?
[52:04]
Henry Zabrowski
That's not a bad. You know what, though?
[52:08]
Ed Larson
I will say it's not really a joke. Yeah, clearly.
[52:11]
Henry Zabrowski
That's a nice Caucasian baby. How much you want for it?
[52:13]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Texted the wrong person.
[52:15]
Henry Zabrowski
You know, that's what I would do. Yeah, that is definitely a text. I would have said, like, if I was drunk and I received this, it's been like, it'll come down over there with my slap shop. Are you not interested in selling? I'm willing to start the bid at 500k. Oh, that's funny. Oh, you didn't attempt to buy the kid? That's not real.
[52:34]
Ed Larson
But the thing is he sent it and they took it seriously.
[52:38]
Henry Zabrowski
That's a joke.
[52:39]
Ed Larson
It is a joke. But he also did shoot somebody days. I have to.
[52:44]
Henry Zabrowski
I really feel like that's the crime here. I really think that's. That's the issue is the shooting the car.
[52:52]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[52:52]
Henry Zabrowski
He's showing a rotary.
[52:53]
Ed Larson
Someone's car. The bullet went through the door and into the person's life.
[52:56]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, I think that's the issue here. I think this.
[52:59]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[52:59]
Henry Zabrowski
Is kind of fun in terms of like, you know, he's just having fun.
[53:03]
Ed Larson
He's 21.
[53:04]
Henry Zabrowski
Bring some kind of levity around. Everybody's so serious. Yes. He got hit by a semi truck and then he shot into a semi truck. I think he's been. I think he was upset. It's Texas.
[53:14]
Ed Larson
Texas.
[53:14]
Henry Zabrowski
Can't wait to go to Dallas.
[53:16]
Ed Larson
Oh, yeah.
[53:16]
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, wait. And just listen. Any newborns, you want to bring them by?
[53:20]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[53:20]
Henry Zabrowski
$500,000 for just their organs.
[53:23]
Ed Larson
No.
[53:23]
Henry Zabrowski
We can put it all together. We're not.
[53:24]
Ed Larson
I don't have that.
[53:25]
Henry Zabrowski
We all could put it together. I was going to mortgage my house.
[53:28]
Ed Larson
Oh, okay.
[53:28]
Henry Zabrowski
And then what we'll do is we'll buy two.
[53:30]
Ed Larson
Two babies.
[53:31]
Henry Zabrowski
We'll get two babies. And then what we'll do is Texas.
[53:33]
Ed Larson
Have so many extra babies because they can't kill them anymore.
[53:35]
Henry Zabrowski
Because the thing is. Yeah. And I think the thing is, I think this can get 2 for 5 for 500k. I think that'll be easy.
[53:41]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Cuz we all know that, like, after they're born, they're worthless.
[53:44]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes. Especially in Texas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just ask the police officers in Uvalde who didn't do much. Sorry, sorry. Not sorry. It's literally exactly what happened. So, Dallas show. We will see you there.
[53:59]
Ed Larson
Yeah. February 22nd, Grand Prairie.
[54:02]
Henry Zabrowski
Whoa. I love. I love Dallas. I can't wait and we go we got some listener emails.
[54:09]
Ed Larson
Listen, let's hear them.
[54:11]
Henry Zabrowski
Last time I asked about what could possibly be a pig's motivation to kill a woman.
[54:17]
Ed Larson
Okay.
[54:17]
Henry Zabrowski
And besides just she running besides hate resisting arrest incel oh in pig now this is a There's love. It is unanimous. The listeners love balers gate and want to know who Henry kissed. First of all, good shot Shadow heart. It's a goth obviously. Marcus also asked do you me to tell you that he had sex with Lazel.
[54:40]
Ed Larson
Lazel?
[54:41]
Henry Zabrowski
She said she's a. She's an alien. Yeah, she's like a gift yankee. You know what that is?
[54:46]
Ed Larson
Yeah. All I know is two kiwis make.
[54:48]
Henry Zabrowski
An apple in what?
[54:50]
Ed Larson
My fruit game.
[54:51]
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, sure, sure.
[54:51]
Ed Larson
Yeah, that's what I play. I play the fruit game.
[54:53]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, well, you go kiss some fruit. I guess I will go kiss some fruit.
[54:57]
Ed Larson
I'll be plum happy about it.
[54:59]
Henry Zabrowski
I hope you are.
[54:59]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[55:00]
Henry Zabrowski
Go suck on some berries.
[55:01]
Ed Larson
Yeah, I do every morning.
[55:03]
Henry Zabrowski
I know you do. I do now too.
[55:04]
Ed Larson
Berries every morning.
[55:05]
Henry Zabrowski
I know. I modeled your your fight to be healthy. I just eat what your doctor told you to eat.
[55:10]
Ed Larson
Yeah, I'm dying.
[55:11]
Henry Zabrowski
Yep. But slowly. Slowly, slowly. So here I asked all right, so about the pig attack while reading what I saw printed about the issue. All right, this is the one I found this interesting. If the pigs were kept as pets by the the neighbor. Your producer that chimed in was likely correct. The pigs had associate had associated people with giving them food and when the woman did not give them something they got pissed off and attacked her.
[55:39]
Ed Larson
Always feed a pig.
[55:40]
Henry Zabrowski
Always feed a pig. Especially if it's wearing a last podcast on the left hat myself but honestly we like we want you to wear that now. Oh the if the pigs were from a commercial farm it is likely they escape during a rag a ractactopamine Ractopamine feeding cycle. Ractopamine.
[56:03]
Ed Larson
I don't know what that means. Keep saying that word over again. Like I'm gonna know.
[56:07]
Henry Zabrowski
It's a feed additive that is used because it promotes muscle mass growth over the production of subcutaneous fat in pigs without reducing the intramuscular fat.
[56:15]
Ed Larson
Pigs were on creatine?
[56:17]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, they were getting marbling Basically functions for pigs like anabolic steroids do for human bodybuilders and just like steroids do for people there significant psychological effects. Interesting. Cool. Pig farmers I know basically consider it a suicidal act to enter a pen with pigs while they are being fed richoprene so long way of explaining it. It's possible the cause was roid rage piggies. Wow. That's kind of dystopian.
[56:42]
Ed Larson
I'd love to see a jacked pig.
[56:44]
Henry Zabrowski
I mean. You do?
[56:45]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[56:46]
Henry Zabrowski
I mean technically that's what we eat.
[56:48]
Ed Larson
Jacked pigs.
[56:49]
Henry Zabrowski
Well, when we eat pork, it's a lot of it.
[56:50]
Ed Larson
You think so?
[56:51]
Henry Zabrowski
Unless you're eating like good pork meat.
[56:53]
Ed Larson
I have started eating better pork meat.
[56:55]
Henry Zabrowski
That's what I try to. I've really. I've been trying to get off the. Trying to get off some of the red meat. It's hard.
[56:59]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah yeah. But you get. If you spend more money on it, it's easier to get off of it because it becomes a sometimes treat.
[57:07]
Henry Zabrowski
It does.
[57:07]
Ed Larson
It's only and that it's better when you actually have it.
[57:10]
Henry Zabrowski
Well my thing is if I'm no longer. I like making steak for myself but honestly I'd rather have somebody else make it.
[57:17]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[57:17]
Henry Zabrowski
At this point where if like I'm going to eat it. I want a professional to make.
[57:21]
Ed Larson
Yeah. If you. If you're going to cook meat it's usually just a bunch of la Lamb.
[57:24]
Henry Zabrowski
I make a lot of lamb.
[57:25]
Ed Larson
I love man. No baby sheep is safe.
[57:29]
Henry Zabrowski
I close to the surprise. I suck one's blood. If I could.
[57:32]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[57:33]
Henry Zabrowski
I love lamb. You could. I do.
[57:35]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[57:36]
Henry Zabrowski
No, I love lamb. I like chicken thighs.
[57:38]
Ed Larson
I love chicken thighs. I had some for lunch.
[57:40]
Henry Zabrowski
That's my favorite. It's my favorite style of meat.
[57:42]
Ed Larson
It's chicken thighs.
[57:43]
Henry Zabrowski
Chicken thighs. Oh yeah.
[57:44]
Ed Larson
Hawaiian chicken thighs.
[57:45]
Henry Zabrowski
Salmon's so good. Like salmon.
[57:47]
Ed Larson
Salmon. It's just literally everything I've eaten the last couple.
[57:50]
Henry Zabrowski
Couple days at once.
[57:52]
Ed Larson
Except for tofu.
[57:53]
Henry Zabrowski
It's good for us. Also I've read. I don't know if this is a. This might be a RFK junior thing but I think I've heard that tofu if you eat it soy products actually helps you not get. You know that weed disease that makes you throw up when you smoke it.
[58:10]
Ed Larson
Oh, tofu makes me get higher. That's all you got to tell me.
[58:13]
Henry Zabrowski
All no is that soy products will help you from getting that. That reaction. Really? This is what you're talking about? Yes. Can't avoid hyperemia syndrome. The thing where people start vomiting when they smoke weed sometimes I'll.
[58:28]
Ed Larson
I'll. I'll start sneezing if I smoke too much weed.
[58:31]
Henry Zabrowski
That's different.
[58:31]
Ed Larson
It's happen to me sometimes smoking but that made me worried. I was like I hope I better not becoming allergic to weed. If I can just start now I have a Reason to eat tofu.
[58:40]
Henry Zabrowski
Do if I get higher?
[58:42]
Ed Larson
Well, I don't get higher. It just stops me from getting the. The cannaboid hypernesis syndrome.
[58:48]
Henry Zabrowski
You got close on that one.
[58:49]
Ed Larson
Yeah, but I'll do it. Yeah, I mean, I would have gotten it.
[58:53]
Henry Zabrowski
What do you mean? No tofu. It's a no.
[58:56]
Ed Larson
That's.
[58:56]
Henry Zabrowski
Google says no, but who knows? You know Google? Yeah, Google doesn't really know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it might be. Actually. I might have just. I probably just overheard that at a bus stop.
[59:05]
Ed Larson
Okay, well, now I'm not eating tofu again.
[59:07]
Henry Zabrowski
I mean, tofu's good.
[59:09]
Ed Larson
No, not. Apparently. It's not good enough to stop the weed disease.
[59:11]
Henry Zabrowski
Why don't you live every day to figure out a way to make tofu? In a way you like it, and then you can eat tofu and you can love it. And then when you're loving the tofu, you're gonna laugh your way to the bank because what you're doing is saving yourself some issues because you found a good meat alternative that doesn't raise your cholesterol.
[59:26]
Ed Larson
You know what I like about tofu is you're supposed to beat it.
[59:30]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah.
[59:30]
Ed Larson
You gotta kick the. Out of it.
[59:32]
Henry Zabrowski
No, you're talking about mochis.
[59:33]
Ed Larson
No. Yeah, tofu. You. You pull.
[59:36]
Henry Zabrowski
Absolutely not.
[59:37]
Ed Larson
My cousin Robin pulverizes her tofu, and it was disgusting.
[59:40]
Henry Zabrowski
You're watching your cousin pulverize her tofu?
[59:42]
Ed Larson
Yeah. She's like, eddie, come here. I gotta show you something.
[59:46]
Henry Zabrowski
That's incest.
[59:46]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[59:47]
Henry Zabrowski
How do you pulverize tofu?
[59:50]
Ed Larson
How do I give tofu more favor?
[59:51]
Henry Zabrowski
You have to. You have to marinate it. You have to marinate it. And also. You know what's also really good? Unfortunately, what is. What I like to do is I like to cut up my tofu into little cubes. I give it a little sprinkle of cornstarch, right? I put butter and a little oil in the pan, and then what I like to do is cook it on that with a little salt, a little pepper.
[60:08]
Ed Larson
You put butter in there?
[60:09]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes. And then also what I do is shave a. I put lime zest.
[60:13]
Ed Larson
Lime zest.
[60:14]
Henry Zabrowski
Yes. G. You're wrong. I'm telling you, it's.
[60:18]
Ed Larson
I don't like the lemon zest. The limes.
[60:21]
Henry Zabrowski
It's extremely good. It's mo. It's a lemon zest and lime zest. You just don't know. It's very good. It's adds that citrus kick without adding water so it doesn't dilute what you're making.
[60:29]
Ed Larson
I like lemon on seafood. And that's the only time I want lemons involved in my life.
[60:33]
Henry Zabrowski
You be surprised. Lemons, lemon stay away. Even harder lines I figured out with lemon. I figured a lot of things with lemon.
[60:40]
Ed Larson
Limes attack us.
[60:41]
Henry Zabrowski
Us.
[60:41]
Ed Larson
Do you know about that? If you cut your hand and lime juice goes into that cut and then that cut sees the sun. You're what? It happened to my boy.
[60:52]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, just like my.
[60:53]
Ed Larson
This.
[60:54]
Henry Zabrowski
Are you. Are we Both talking to RFK Jr. But he's pretending to be like a sexy lady on the Internet cutting up.
[60:59]
Ed Larson
Limes with keys on the beach for our Coronas. That's disgusting. And then his key went through the wall and it stuck in. In there.
[61:07]
Henry Zabrowski
But then his whole manifested open wound if exposed to sunlight after coming in contact with the lime juice margarita burn.
[61:13]
Ed Larson
Yeah, and his entire arm was turned different colors. I think he was actually working with you at the time at Borders. And then they made him move out of the cafe into the normal part because they're like, you can't give people coffee with that arm.
[61:23]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah, yeah. You look disgusting.
[61:25]
Ed Larson
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah, wow.
[61:28]
Henry Zabrowski
I forgot Valinsky worked with me. Borders.
[61:30]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Wow.
[61:31]
Henry Zabrowski
What a small. I don't remember anything.
[61:33]
Ed Larson
No. Well, I remember everything except for what I'm supposed to remember.
[61:36]
Henry Zabrowski
Hey, if you can't remember, you can't bother you. And that's what's the most beautiful thing about dementia. Who are you? I couldn't care less who I am. I. It's been quite an episode of side stories and I want to thank you for being my partner.
[61:52]
Ed Larson
An ass and titties.
[61:55]
Henry Zabrowski
Patreon.com Last podcast and left. Give us money. Watches perform. We're on there. Get ad free episodes. Pretty good. But social media at LP on the left. Thank you, President Trump, for bringing back our Chinese propaganda machine. Oh, thank you for bringing back Tik.
[62:10]
Ed Larson
Tok because it's so important it away and giving it back and being. Being the pimp that beats us and tells us how nice the bath is.
[62:16]
Henry Zabrowski
And nothing I love better than that app that makes every person in my life scared for no reason. Thank you, Tik Tock. Totally worth the advertisement opportunities. Go and check it out out there. And go to Twitch tv. Lpntv where we are. We will still be doing a lot of commentary about whatever we want for the rest of our lives.
[62:38]
Ed Larson
HGX2 tomorrow night, January 23rd, 6pm Pacific, 9pm Eastern. We got a great judge. Jared Logan's coming.
[62:47]
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, he's gonna be Great.
[62:48]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Yeah.
[62:49]
Henry Zabrowski
I can't wait.
[62:50]
Ed Larson
Excited. And we got Ariel from Fraudsters coming by.
[62:53]
Henry Zabrowski
Wonderful.
[62:54]
Ed Larson
And then we got Tootsies making her first appearance.
[62:56]
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, that's sw.
[62:58]
Ed Larson
So check it out. You want to watch Tootsie?
[63:00]
Henry Zabrowski
She's our Helen Mirren.
[63:01]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[63:02]
Henry Zabrowski
And then go to last podcast on the left.com to check out all of our live dates, because we're really good at it. And we're gonna see out there.
[63:10]
Ed Larson
Yeah. Dallas on February 22, Nashville on March 14 and March 16, we're going to be in Huntsville doing the side stories. And then April 18th, we're going to be in Detroit. Detroit. And on May 3rd, we will be in Toronto. And then, of course, June is our rescheduled Atlanta shows.
[63:31]
Henry Zabrowski
Cannot wait.
[63:33]
Ed Larson
You got to get me to Atlanta. This stopping.
[63:36]
Henry Zabrowski
You're gonna like it so much better this way.
[63:37]
Ed Larson
I'm gonna like it more in the summer. I know.
[63:39]
Henry Zabrowski
It is hot.
[63:40]
Ed Larson
I know. But I lived in Tallahassee. It's not hotter than Tallahassee.
[63:44]
Henry Zabrowski
But we're gonna stay in a hotel with a pool.
[63:45]
Ed Larson
Oh, we say a hotel in a pool. It's gonna be fucking people out in their bathing suits. I know. Everyone in Atlanta is super hot box. Yeah. It's very attractive town.
[63:54]
Henry Zabrowski
It literally is a. I do think that it is an extremely.
[63:57]
Ed Larson
Time I went there, I was like, everyone here is hot.
[64:00]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. Like the Publix people work at Publix are kind of hot. Yeah, it's great.
[64:03]
Ed Larson
It's great. Oh, that's where they got Publix.
[64:05]
Henry Zabrowski
Yep.
[64:06]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[64:06]
Henry Zabrowski
Yeah. Dude, I'll take you to my Publix in Atlanta.
[64:09]
Ed Larson
You own a Publix?
[64:10]
Henry Zabrowski
No, but there's one. I claim that's how often I've been there.
[64:15]
Ed Larson
All right.
[64:16]
Henry Zabrowski
All right. Hail sweet Satan, everyone. And hail David Lynch.
[64:21]
Ed Larson
Lindsay took us.
[64:23]
Henry Zabrowski
Oh, that's nice. Oh, you made fun of her name.
[64:25]
Ed Larson
Oh, no, it's Shook us. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make fun of her name.
[64:28]
Henry Zabrowski
She's. Honestly. Thank you.
[64:29]
Ed Larson
Shook us. No, honestly, you know, you. You. You. You gave Henry some press. He's going to get some more acting.
[64:34]
Henry Zabrowski
Honestly, if you really did. I can't. I can't buy that.
[64:39]
Ed Larson
Yeah. And I.
[64:40]
Henry Zabrowski
So thank you. It really meant a lot to me to. Honestly, now that I've processed it and talking with my. My family and all, this kind of. It was like. It is wild that I got to be a part of the 50th anniversary, whether I liked it or not.
[64:51]
Ed Larson
Yeah.
[64:51]
Henry Zabrowski
And it's amazing.
[64:52]
Ed Larson
It's fucking crazy Academy Museum. When I went to the Academy Museum, there was a. There was an exhibit on his course. Daisy's editor. And then you popped up, of course.
[64:59]
Henry Zabrowski
Be surprised how many places I snuck my way into without getting permission.
[65:04]
Ed Larson
Yeah. And, Lindsay, I'm sorry I said all those horrible things about your appearance, but in my defense, I was just trying to. Your feelings?
[65:10]
Henry Zabrowski
Absolutely. She's a beautiful lady, she does her job, and then honestly. So thank you, guys, and thank you to everybody who's awesome. All right, you. Bye.
[65:20]
Ed Larson
Goodbye.