
Henry & Eddie bring you this week's wildest stories and true crime news as family annhiliations ramp up for the holiday season, A Wanna-be Nazi loses standoff with police in Stamford CT, The Arizona man rescued from near-fatal quicksand mishap, A Dispicable Utah father facing multiple charges after forcing young children through harrowing torture hike, "Hopeless Situation" in Austrian Mountains forces man to leave girlfriend behind to freeze, Michigan Mother & Stepfather Accused of Torturing, Murdering Pregnant Daughter and cutting out her baby, Police wait six days for suspected thief to naturally pass stolen $19K "Octopussy" Fabergé Egg, The Scottish Widow who found soles of dead husband's feet in his belongings, Listener E-Mails, and MORE!
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This is the last on the left side stories.
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That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes.
You know what I'm disappointed. What in us about? What do we do this weekend?
B
What did we fail at? I thought we killed Vegas.
A
We did nothing but crush. But. But you know, we completely forgot to talk about what? Paul Anka confirming the fact that Frank Sinatra has a big hog.
B
Well, of course Frank Sinatra has a big hug.
A
But you know what also was crazy that I did not know that Paul Anka also confirmed Joey Bishop had a vagina.
B
Oh, really?
A
Yeah, you know, Buck Angel.
B
Oh, it's interesting because the bishop is the chess piece.
A
Yes. But most likely to fuck with the slit in it.
B
Yeah, that's the penis.
A
It's got a cleft in it.
B
Yeah, right.
A
It's got a little. Just like, just like a. What one would call the openings of a female or a vagina.
B
But it looks also looks like a penis head.
A
Yes, sure. In many ways truly androgynous.
B
Wow.
A
So Joey Bishop, that. That's what they cut it out of the interview, I guess because Paulinka at that point was starting to drool out of the side of his face and one drop of blood was coming out of his fake left eye. Because he did that to copy Sammy.
B
Yes.
A
And so when that starts to happen. Oh, they know Paul's got to go to sleep. Right. Because obviously Paul Anka, he's been up to up. Because now he's put it.
B
He put it in his Documentary that.
A
Frank Sinatra has a big penis.
B
It's your documentary.
A
Yeah.
B
Don't talk about how big is the dick that you got to talk about it in your own documentary.
A
I think that Paul Anka might have a bit of a hanka for Frank Sinatra's.
B
Maybe he did a little Yankee.
A
I think he might have. I think he must have. And he absolutely did.
B
Oh, look at him.
A
Kissing him again. The biggest revelation. Joey Bishop, trans icon. Nobody knew that before. It's amazing to even think about, and I wish we could have seen it.
B
Yeah. Dean Martin, horrible flatulence problem. They used to call him Dean Farton.
A
I know that. I heard that. And also, the alcoholism was exaggerated.
B
It was exaggerated. But he did die early.
A
He put hey. Because that's what a real man does. Welcome to side Stories. Do.
B
Dean Martin once bought my mom 10 scotches.
A
What? Just did.
B
She was.
A
Get her away from.
B
She was at a Dean Martin show.
A
Yeah.
B
And he's like. And she's like. He asked her what she was drinking because she was all hot and by herself.
A
Was she?
B
Yes. And then back then, yeah. Oh, my God. My mom was real hot. And then you got to see these old pictures. I got to send them to you. You're going to love them.
A
How hot are we talking?
B
I mean, she's pretty smoking hot. What?
A
Yeah.
B
Oh, no.
A
Your mother.
B
My mother was smok. Smoking hot. Yeah. And then the Polish set.
A
Eventually. That Babu does change, doesn't it? There's something about that. Where did Babu come from?
B
But yeah, he sent her 10 scotches one night.
A
Well, what a great.
B
Either. She was lying to me my whole life, which is very possible.
A
I love you very.
B
It is very possible. She was lying to me.
A
I know she's lying to you.
B
She went to Vegas by herself. Yeah. No one else is there to witness the story.
A
I know she's lying.
B
She had to have been lying.
A
She met a man named, like, Saul Lanka.
B
Yeah.
A
You'll be like. There was something.
B
She didn't say nothing about it.
A
I just said, oh, yeah, it was.
B
Yeah, it was Dean Martin.
A
Yeah. Dean. Dean Mutton. Dean Mutton like. Yeah, that Val. Everyone love that greasy guy from Clean.
B
I'd say my mom looked most like the chick on the bottom to the right.
A
That's really. You're giving your mom a lot of credit. But I'll see those pictures.
B
I'll send them to you.
A
All right. Well, great.
My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. We just came back from Best City on the Face of The planet Las Vegas.
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But I did have fun.
A
It is the only honest city in the Union. Las Vegas, Nevada. What an amazing time we had. And we just wanted to just say straight up, we got literally 10 tickets left for Portland shows. Yes. Go and buy those tickets at last podcast and left dot com. We have two. They will be then completely sold out. And we will finally, finally mean something to our families. Please, please.
B
Oh, yeah. Actually very excited for Portland.
A
Yeah, it's great city.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
It's all my friend. I got a bunch of friends there. My friend Ellie's there.
B
She's going to come to the show. Oh, yeah, People come to the show.
A
Portland's one of the best cities. Another actually really fun city. The cops left.
B
Usually we don't sell out. And I'm like, yeah, sure, whoever wants to go.
A
No, no, no, no. Not this time, Eddie.
B
Oh, wow.
A
This time we got almost no room.
B
Well, I hope so. I hope we'll be okay.
A
I hope so.
B
Either way, they could stand outside in the cold.
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Couldn't give a fucking shit.
Couldn't give a fucking shit. No, it's not true. I love her family. I love our friends. All right, so we have a bit of a update. I actually got a very. First of all, love it when someone gives us credit, so thank you. Someone said that they actually appreciated her coverage of the Morgan Geyser story.
B
God, I was really worried about same.
A
Really very, very, very worried about that. But I got a very interesting.
B
How many hate messages did we get?
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Just a couple.
B
Okay.
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But it's normal. The normal amount did just normal. Because we're still trying to figure out kind of where we're like we are. When you listen to side stories, I can't really stress enough. You're listening to two nearly mid-40s white men.
B
I am mid-40s.
A
You are now officially.
B
Yeah.
A
And we are. We're trying to learn and get involved and not be too scared of different things.
B
Yeah. But if a little girl stabs another little girl a bunch of times, we unfortunately have to talk about it.
A
No, no, no, that's not the problem. The problem. Honestly felt that you were very. You were almost too considerate of Morgan Geyser's feelings. A lot of people kind of agreed on the other side that Morgan Geyser, because one message I got was very interesting about the idea of kids learning to be, like, we say the words, manipulative inside of these sort of social homes, but really it's adapting to having no power in a situation in which they're. They're surrounded by authority figures. They're already troubled. They're going to naturally do certain things. Just what happens. But one thing I found that was interesting that I did not know because we were saying one thing that freaked us out about Morgan Geyser was that she was let into the halfway home out of the insane asylum, essentially, and still had visual delusions and spoke with Slender Man.
B
It's not good. Especially in a halfway house.
A
It's. No, no, no, no. But I did not actually understand that that is a part of the therapy. So they don't fight delusions. I got this from an. This is a mental health workers guide. Right. There's someone who works at the. Do any. This is a bit of a clinical context to what going on, and I thought this was really interesting is that when people have audio and visual hallucinations as a part of a schizophrenia diagnoses a part of what you're trying to do is create a grounding sensation within those delusions.
B
Okay.
A
So they're not just trying to get.
B
The conversation to end.
The lunch. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
A
You, me, both. Oh, I just talked to Genghis Khan this morning. He's great. Right? All right, well, I'll see. I got to go to. Soup's on. I don't get that while it's hot. I like that thick soup. I like that thick insane asylum soup. But no, it's. What you do is you. You can't just say the delusions aren't real because it makes them like kind of inversely dig in more. Which is something I like.
B
When someone's dating someone horrible and you tell them they are horrible and they just runs them into their arms.
A
I think that's a simple. That's a good, simple way to put it. Or it's like when I have OC in my OCD diagnosis, what they learned was is that instead of self soothing during moments of high anxiety, just feel the anxiety.
B
How come you don't wash your hands if you're ocd?
A
Because it's. I'm going to punch you in the face.
Attack them. I do wash my hands, actually, till they bleed. But that's different. It's called being a traveling comedian. And so this is. This is what they do. When you have photorealistic things, they create this thing. So reality testing. So they gently explore discrepancies between your visions and reality. They say stuff like, does that really make sense? Or like, oh, okay, like. And they gently prod.
B
Right?
A
Then it's safety, planning, ensuring the belief doesn't Lead someone to act in a way that endangers themselves or others. So you get as long as Slender Man's just hanging out and, and just being stuff like being like I actually think that a Smashing Machine was fine, you know, like, like that's fine. Right? Like you can, you can have a rational discussion about your critical response to Smashing Machine.
B
I think it was fine.
A
Yes, I think it was entirely fine. Right. Then there's harm reduction. Helping the client manage the delusion rather than eradicate it. Because that's the idea too it's harm reduction is that it's very difficult to get rid of full on video and audible audio hallucinations. Apparently even with medication, talk therapy. It's extremely difficult. So basically you have to figure out a way to create it so that they can just kind of have them and move on and be able to talk about it. And then what he called it functional stabilization which is coping strategies, daily living skills, like all of that stuff. So I did not know that you can then that's really what they're seeking. It's not total cure in order to be moved in one of these facilities. Also the fact that when she was, she got released for attempted murder at 23, that's very common. That's actually pretty much a boilerplate like age in which something like this happens.
B
That's what I was concerned about.
A
Yes, but they do because it's. It was an attempted murder but now we're seeing that it was a bit too premature. But that. So now we now know everyone's going to go right back into it. They say essentially the, oh, this is a really interesting term. The presence of a delusion doesn't define risk, behavior does. So it's all how you behave, you behave towards the delusion.
B
Do you think that like, you know, in these kind of cases, like obviously we're not going to do this but like the best way to keep someone safe would be just like remove their fingers because then they wouldn't be able to stab anybody.
A
Side stories lp otl gmail.com Is that a good way to stop? Is that a good way to.
B
So it stabs someone a bunch.
A
Can we decrease recidivism?
B
They're not going to stop. They're not going to stop stopping people.
A
I think they're going to bite their tits. That's what I think they're going to do. I think they're going to bite their drug dealer, they're going to use their teeth. I think if you got rid of a murderer's cans, they Just not still.
B
Have the hands, just not the fingers.
A
Palms. Yes, again, can still use things. Yes, Palms is enough. Palms was definitely enough. Have you seen Bruce Lee? Oh, he's all palm.
B
I miss him.
A
Me, too.
B
Whatever happened to him?
A
I think that he got sick. He was cursed. He was cursed because he gave away his ancient Chinese secrets. That's the truth. He gave away his ancient secrets, and he was cursed because of it. Because he gave us.
B
What was it?
A
Jiu Jitsu? Not Jiu Jitsu. What was his thing?
His. Made his own karate. And then when he did that, that's. That was a problem. Yeah, because guess what? Pioneers die with the footsteps of others on their back.
B
Before him, nunchucks were just a chain. And he put the two sticks on the end.
A
Yep. It was just nunchucks. Was just what I did when I poisoned the convent.
B
Well, that's an update.
A
All right, here we go. Let me get to go. Because the Dubai update. Dubai update thing is just confused. Just confirming that that crypto scanner got caught up into a bunch of pieces.
B
Yeah. And they put them in concrete, and now they found the concrete, and I guess they broke. About the concrete. I would have loved it.
A
Just bury the concrete.
B
Well, they did, I think. And then they found the buried concrete.
A
I mean, after the fact.
B
Yeah.
A
Leaving the concrete.
B
I mean, I would have loved to hear about, like, obviously we would never hear about this, but, like, thousands of years down the. That someone finds the concrete, that opens it up. It's like, huh. Pieces of people.
A
Oh, my God. Yeah. They'd be like, oh. In ancient times, they used to make people into a salad. Normally when. Now, this is how they knew this was an important person. Of the 2025s. Is that he was. They were. No, they always turned them into an ambrosia salad.
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Oh, man. I didn't know he had. He'd already been arrested for being a fraudster.
A
Good.
B
Yeah. And then he got. He got out, and then he went to Dubai to do more.
A
Fraudster. That's what happens.
B
He can't fuck around with these guys.
A
You get one chance. What did you teach me about drug dealing, Eddie? It's not about if you get caught. It's when you get caught.
B
Yes.
A
All these guys, same thing. If you get a chance to get out and you've made it, you made your nut, you stay the fuck out. All right? You don't need that other score.
B
I really think I got caught at the exact right time.
A
You really did. And I honestly say. Thank you. Yes, I thank you. For what? What Happened.
B
Yes, I know. But my friends, they had a. They had a rougher time.
A
Yes. So they had. Well, yeah, they were treated horribly by the Florida police.
B
I love you guys.
A
I love you both. I'm sorry that it happened to you. You didn't deserve that.
B
All right.
A
No matter what, you did.
B
Bleep his name. He's got a career and a child.
A
Oh, yeah. Oh, he'll go, you don't want. You don't want to know.
B
Keep it in. But BLEEP his name.
A
Well, at least he's not this guy. So this is. This is a new story that I found. And again, there's just something about homemade Nazi uniform that makes me laugh.
B
Yes.
A
Right. So a man opened fire on Stamford police in Connecticut, of all the places, and he. He had an hours long standoff.
B
I'm surprised there aren't more Nazis in Connecticut.
A
Why?
B
All the whites up there, you'd be surprised.
A
Connecticut's a lot more diverse than you think it is.
B
There's lots of poor whites up there.
A
But there's also a lot of people that aren't white.
B
I know that.
A
Shockingly.
B
I know that.
A
Shockingly. Actually, where there's more, to be honest, more of a president of. This is in our humble Northern California.
B
Oh, Northern California is littered.
A
It's kind of made for it. They love it over there.
B
Yeah. Lots of. Lots of trees that they could take and make crosses out of. So here we go.
A
These fucker. Right. So apparently they got called the police, got a search warrant and a home. Right. Because I guess there was a complaint. The incident Dec. 2 began when a state marshal. It came to this home in Oak Lawn Avenue. They came to evict this guy.
B
Yes. That's what the problem was.
A
Of course. Right. It makes sense. It's very, very upsetting. It's very, very upsetting. But I'm going to say this, guys, no matter how whatever bad things happen to you financially in the real estate world, there's no reason to go Nazi over it. Yes.
B
You know, I hate eviction, especially this time of year. We all the worst thing in the world that anyone could do. But as soon as a homemade Nazi uniform comes into play, suddenly I don't care.
A
So it starts to be like, suddenly I don't give a. Yeah. As a landlord, I'm like, oh, maybe you need to get the.
B
Out of there.
A
Right. And so the lady. The dude came out. So the cops came. Jed Parkington, Joe. Jed Parkington, definitely. That's the. Exactly what he did. Yeah. He parked in that house until they shot him in that until he shot himself in the head. And so first of all, he sent his wife out like a real coward. He said, his wife and dog out.
B
I thought it was nice.
A
Well, I don't know. He could have.
B
It was, it was either that or he kills him.
A
He's lucky that they didn't light up on the fucking wife and all the kind of. She, because he had barking dog, they.
B
Let him out of the house parking.
A
So they. Cops came. They see he knew he was going.
B
To have a standoff. Oh no, he's like, wife. Honestly, this is a little credit that I'm going to give this man. And he's like, wife, get out of the house. I'm going to shoot all these cops. You don't want to be around for this.
A
He's been wanting to do this since he was 18 years old.
B
He's been planning.
A
Yeah. So he came to the door. He was wearing a uniform shirt and a utility belt with items attached. He had explosive devices. He had grenades on him and a giant swastika. And the, he sent the wife out, right? Because then he said he pushed her out the door. And they heard him saying, take her someplace safe. This is not going to end well.
B
This is not gonna end well.
A
And so she pushed her out because like, I feel like even as worst.
B
Thing to hear in a standoff.
A
But I would, I would say as your wife, right. I, I was reading, I think Coco Chanel said this, the idea that when you leave the house every day, remove one accessory.
B
Yes.
A
Right. Because that's fashion, right? I think a wife, if it was a good, good wife. You know what you say to your husband? Do whatever you're gonna do. Take that swastik off, okay? I'm not dealing with this.
B
She sewed it on.
A
I'm not.
B
No.
A
Oh, no, he did. I, I know this is Jed's plan. And Jed got the Nazi insignia. He finally's been waiting on it. He purchased it on ebay a year ago.
B
It was embroidered.
A
Oh, that's in there too deep. This man bought a Chinese made swastika flag, my friend. Absolutely. This man's not doing this. Isn't a patriot.
B
Yeah.
A
You know this guy's buying it from over there.
B
Impartial China.
A
Yeah, they love, they love our little peccadillos, don't they? They love what we got going on over here. So he then barricaded himself inside. He was, they thought he was armed. He was. They brought in a hostage negotiation team. And so what they first tried to Do. Which I believe they. Which I do think it didn't work. They did put just a tater tot hot dish on the front stoop to get it come out, right? Because can't really. You can't fucking refuse a tater tot hot dish.
B
No.
A
And then who. You bastard. But he said something about how tater tots are the Jews of the potatoes. Whoa. Which I did not know.
B
Yeah.
A
And I didn't think about it like that.
B
Well, if you take the top of a tater tot and you put it on top of a potato, of. Looks like a yamaka.
A
Interesting. That's a fat person thought.
B
That's a fat.
A
It's a fat person thought. And so they. He said no to that, I guess. Then they said stuff like, you know, oh, okay, come out here. We all hate the Jews out here. Like, I don't know what.
B
They.
A
Try to get him out. I don't know what they. How. How do you try to get this guy out? You go like, oh, great. Swastika, buddy. Yeah, man. That's what's got. If I had a swastika, that'd be the one I'd have, too, buddy. Like, that's like, how do you get him out?
B
Yeah, this is just normal swat, not swats to come.
A
Just listen, I wish it was. I wish we could be all right. But, you know, everybody gets touchy about X's over here.
B
All right, buddy? So he had his hostage. They called in the hostage negotiators, but he's his only hostage.
A
That's very normal. Guy just holding a gun to his head in a house. The hostage negotiators just come out there and say, no, don't. I mean, honestly, I know that the.
B
Whole process, I'm surprised they didn't light up the house.
A
It's because they're trying not to, Eddie.
B
But he was lighting the car up there. He shot up the cop car.
A
Honestly, Eddie, anytime when they do this and they actually manage to not shoot up the house, I'm pretty proud of them.
B
I am proud of them, but I'm just very surprised.
A
It's. No, it's way more normal.
B
I feel like they were in their. Is a hard thing to say. They were in their rights to shoot the house.
A
They tried to breach the house several times using these devices. So the first thing they did was they send in a swarm of drones because they're trying not to get anybody killed. They're trying to save the guy. They are like. So the drones come in. He shot out all the drones. Which is the funnest way to die.
B
It's first thing he says, first thing he's done that I'm like, all about.
A
How fun is that? You got your fun little swats gone. You got. You finally use all your big guns. The cops are finally here. It's all happening. It's like when Natalie got to go to Epic Universe. It's like it's all happening now. It's like I get to do it. And so he's shooting at drone. That's the coolest thing an old man ever gets to do.
B
Future skeet shooting.
A
Yes. And then he did the same thing that all old fucking bastards love to do, too. And he put a gun in his mouth and blew his brains out.
B
And then they sent in another drone and saw it.
A
Yep. And then that drone's traumatized.
B
Yeah, that poor drone. Its whole family got killed by this guy. This is like the worst version of Batteries not Included I've ever seen.
A
So, yeah, Another Christmas miracles wrapped up.
B
This is not gonna end well.
A
I was right. I think the last thing you said, I was right.
B
It's so nice sitting here by the fire, looking at the tinsel on my Christmas tree. And I'm just stringing popcorn. And know what's keeping me warm is my lovely undergarments. And this cashmere. And the linen seems to be keeping my. My legs warm as well.
A
Oh, how nice.
B
I'm gonna get some cocoa and I'm gonna be a prince. All dressed up in my quince. That's right. Because I'm a special boy. I love to look good.
A
Even.
B
Even if I'm at home by myself. Sometimes I like to look good just for the dogs. Quince can help you with that. You can get anything from sunglasses to gold chains to weighted blankets to cashmere sweaters. And. Ooh, yes, that's sweet, sweet linen.
A
Mmm.
B
So nice.
Get your wardrobe sorted and your gift list handled with Quince.
A
Don't wait.
B
Go to quince.com last for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com last free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com last look like a Christmas prince while you're dressed in your quince. You love it.
A
Think you know the truth about the world around you? Think again. Every strange sound, unexplainable sighting and bone chilling legend has endless possibilities hiding in the shadows. I'm Yvette Gentile, and I'm her sister, Racha Pecorero. Every Friday on our podcast so Supernatural, we dive deeper into the mysteries that defy logic. From haunted spaces to cryptid creatures, we unravel every loose thread and uncover all the possibilities of the unknown. If you're determined to find the truth behind the world's most bizarre occurrences, listen to so Supernatural every Friday. Wherever you get your podcasts.
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B
Yeah.
A
Because then I could have covered it.
B
Yeah. You know, what are you gonna do?
A
I don't know.
B
It's the season. It's the season. Hold yourself hostage.
A
Absolutely. We just covered a family annihilator, which seems to be a running topic that we do around the Christmas season here.
B
We got a couple stories that seem like they line up pretty well.
A
We had an exact almost copy of our buddy Ronnie Jean Simmons that we just covered in Arkansas last week where a guy killed his entire family. It's another family annihilation in Arkansas about a mile from where Ronnie Jean Simmons lived. That's interesting.
B
It has been interesting. So a mile just now, One mile, just. That's the same town.
A
I mean, I guess it's just like there.
B
I walk miles. So just one mile is the same town.
A
You bragging?
B
Yeah, I'm bragging.
A
I'm out here.
B
I'm walking two to three miles.
Boy, you don't even know Cutting up this turf. These hokas ain't. They're working, dude.
A
They're earning their money walking a full 45 minutes. I'm tired.
B
There was another drone story. I'm just going to talk about it briefly because I'm just. There's so many connecting stories in a weird way this week. And there was another. There was a drone story where a guy was hiking by himself. A lot of people hiking in ways they shouldn't be. Hiking. Hiking on. By himself on, like a 20 hour hike. And he fell into quicksand, which is very rare.
A
We were told, again, this is now like a meme, but we were told as kids that quicksand was gonna be a thing.
B
Yes. And for this guy, it was. And he got stuck in the quicksand. He had his two little hiking poles and he kept trying to push himself out, and then it couldn't. It wasn't working. And then his knee got bent back. It was touching his foot, and he was stuck in the quicksand. He was. Someone heard him screaming because he was in, like, a little gorge. And they sent in drones. They found him, they pulled him out.
A
That's why I use a treadmill.
B
Yes.
A
That's what I use. I go to a treadmill. I stay inside. I don't go out there. The idea of falling into quicksand and then ever going outside ever again, can you imagine that? Like, because that's such a. Because, like, that's such an anxiety inducing idea for the rest of time then.
B
Yeah, I would hate as a. Do you think he's ever going back to rei? Like, he's like. He's like, these poles are defective.
A
These poles. These poles almost killed me. Like, at him outside the rei, just being like, they almost killed me. There were polar anchors on me.
B
Oh, yeah, that's. He needs Sinatra's disembodied from the sky.
A
I. Can I. I blame him.
B
Well, yeah. I mean, he's walking in a gorge.
A
And, like, I am watching this.
B
Rescue procedures. Not where humans should be.
A
Those rescue procedures that cost how much? Thousand. How many thousands of dollars that costs?
B
Oh, he's paying for it, do you think? No. You pay for these rescues, do you? Oh, yeah. Remember when we were on top of the hill, a mountain in Hawaii, and I was like, I was scared. And he's like a 70,000 for a copter ride.
A
We're like, let's keep walking. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, I remember that. Oh, we'll tumble down.
B
Yeah. But, yeah, there's two other crazy hiking.
A
Things that happen oh, my favorite one is this one because this is the.
God just father, just angry, angry, angry. This idiot angry father. This Salt Lake City father. You know that he was a evil Mormon too. A new dom father's facing child torture and abuse charges after he took his three small children on a long strenuous hike during a winter storm in big Cottonwood Canyon. And they had to be rescued.
B
You know, you think, nice Dad's out taking the kids out for a walk. You know, they're going to have a good time.
A
They're going, we're going to the top of the mountain.
B
The kids were 2, 4 and 8.
A
Get the fuck up. Get up. Put that Roblox down. It's filled with pedophiles. We're going to the peak of the mountain. We're gonna kiss God in the mouth.
B
Micah Smith, 31 years old, was get the fuck up. By his wife to please do not do this.
A
Please don't. Please, please. And he's like, this is a once in a lifet. And she said she was scared. He told her, you shall not pass.
B
He like started quoting Gandalf to his 8 year old. She's like, as she was like, are we literally. He was filming her asking if she was going to freeze to death. This guy is such a scumbag. And then, then he left all three, left the eight year old in charge of the other two and fucking laugh. Yeah, man.
A
Had to, he had to fucking go. And I guess he had a secure health help.
B
Well, yes, because the kids, the two year old died and then he gave it CPR and he came back to life. And then the other kid, when the other kid was dying, he started giving that kid CPR. He had the 8 year old push it on their chest and.
A
And then he goes. And he totally redeems himself in prison.
B
When he kills another pedophile. Yeah. That's the only thing he could do.
A
But think about how even as a, you know, just as a dog father, right. You know, like I just have one. You got to give one medication, you get. The other one is fighting for the food, Right. It's like the whole thing. So I could see that.
B
Yeah.
A
Of course, when they're all dying, you got to put the 8 year old to work, especially if she's still functioning. Like that's easy to do. You go bring one kid to life. Yes, bring another kid to life. Well, Snowman, honestly, this father crushed it in a way.
B
He brought the kids six and a half miles, which is more than twice as far as I walk and you.
A
Heard how tired Eddie is.
B
It's like 3,000ft elevation. The rocks are shifting, thorny bushes. This guy brought his children to die.
A
October. He brought them at night. They got caught in a downpour of snow, hail and rain. When they did not return, they had to go look for them. He said Smith and his children took shelter at around 8pm that evening under a large rock with an overhang. Smith said he gathered logs, sticks and rocks to make a windscreen and put pine needles down and try to use his body to keep his children warm. And the whole time he's like, God fucking. Your mother's gonna be so fucking angry with me. Oh, man. I'm gonna have to do extra time at the temple this week. Oh wow. My on. My secret underwear's frozen in my chest.
B
Yeah, man, this dude fucking. They gave him no bail. And the good. The deputy said the defendant's intentional and selfish act left his children in grave danger with one dying and being revived multiple times and will never fully recover.
A
Wow. He has been charged with domestic violence. And then he was told to leave Primary Children's Hospital for trespassing.
B
Yes.
A
After he interfered with his four year old sons. He was tampering with the equipment that was on his face. That was a month before this incident happened. And oh, he went there.
He told the police, I'm gonna hike to the top of a mountain. A month ago he told them this. Yeah, he was trying to kill themselves.
B
I think his brother though is sticking by his side. He says Mike is a good dad who loves his kids and loves taking them on adventures.
A
Yeah, it's because he's. No, he was trying to kill them all. I think he was trying to kill them all. I bet you this is another one.
B
Adventure, by the way.
A
No, that's not an adventure. An adventure is going to an amusement park. Yeah, an adventure is. We went fishing. Me and my dad went. We went fishing and we went and got ice cream after we went fishing. That's a wonderful.
B
I think a two and a four year old climbing 6.5 miles, 3,000ft in the air.
A
And guess what, bro, they're just going to slow you down.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah. And this guy is like, he's. You know what it is though is again, this is another Salt Lake City story in which I am more than certain they're cutting the religious aspect of out of it because they always do that. They always kind of cut the fact that there's a large unspoken that they're.
B
Praying to some mountain that beat that Britain Young was On top of or something.
A
Just this idea that he has some special communication with a Mormon offshoot. God.
B
Well, good. You can go have that communication with Chad Daybell now.
A
Oh, they will. Oh, don't worry, they will. They have a lot of notes to compare.
B
Well, there's also. Check this out. On the other side of the world, there's a dude facing manslaughter charges after leaving his girlfriend at the top of Austria's highest peak. 36 year old is now facing three years in prison. So how.
A
So what is the stat? What is the actual circumstances of this? Did they get caught that he just dump her?
B
He went. They, they. They climbed 12, 460ft. She did not have the proper gear. He's an experienced climber. She is not. They get to the top, she's got like felt shoes on. You know, they're not like.
A
It's like when we went. When we went our hike and both of us were wearing sneakers and the guy's like, are you sure you want to wear those? And we're like, we weren't.
B
We didn't know one told us anything.
A
Yes.
B
Yeah, yeah. But this was very different because they went together and he. She gets cold. He doesn't know what to do with her. He then leaves her to go get help. When she then freezes the death, of course, because it's negative 20 Celsius.
A
So he's just like, just chill out.
B
Yeah.
A
Literally just chill out. Stay right here. I'm gonna be right back, you know. Here you go. Here's your iPad.
B
Yeah.
A
What is he doing here?
B
Yeah, apparently. Apparently he's very sorry about how things turned out.
A
Well, hey, that. Honestly, as y' all know, as y' all ladies know, having a guy apologize. Marry him.
B
Yeah, man. Oh, my God.
A
Oh, girl. Yeah, he's doing the work. Yeah, he's putting in the work. I'm sorry. Being Quentin Tarantino right now. He put in a work. Girl.
B
Man, I love everyone running his ass through the dirt this week.
A
What you talking about, son? What you're talking about, son? Me, Quentin Tarantino. Tarantino.
B
G, son.
A
This is a direct reference to Quentin Tarantino. Very confidently speaking with Jamie Foxx and Samuel Jackson at a. And the press coverage for Django Unchained. And he is.
B
He's on jacked out of his mind.
A
And he loves talking like a black guy.
B
Yeah.
A
But I do in some way, I do feel like he feel. He felt in that moment that he was black. He was wrong. Yeah.
B
He just put this movie about slavery.
A
Yeah. And he was amongst a very powerful group of black people. And he felt very. And he was feeling himself.
B
Yes, he really was. He really was. Really, really. Well, man. I really. Honestly, I'm at the point now where I don't even care if that 10th movie comes out.
A
Honestly, so far, he. I am an unapologetic, full on Quentin Tarantino fan.
B
I love every single one of his movies are great.
A
I love every single one of his movies. I hate the man.
B
I never want to hang out with him. Isn't that weird?
A
I'll never meet him. I'll never want to meet him. But I. I've now learned that about celebrities. Yeah, I don't want to meet him anymore more. I never want to meet them. I don't want to hear their thoughts. I don't want to be in their personal sphere. Just give me your stuff. Go away, Gwen Tarantino. That 10th movie, even the last one, he was thinking about making a movie about a movie critic, and I was like, you're so full of, buddy. You need to go walk away.
B
That's what you're gonna end all this on.
A
You need to touch grass. I think that's the term that he. I think that's the term. I think he needs to go out there and he needs to go. He needs to go walk away from seeing himself on a camera. He's. He's working on the sequel to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood because, you know, everybody wants to see that.
B
It's a TV show.
A
Oh, my God.
B
David Finch is gonna do it.
A
Who cares? It's gonna bomb. I think it's. Honestly, I think it's gonna bomb. I think it's gonna not be very good, but, you know, what are you gonna do?
B
Yeah, well, so we got. What do we got here? We got this. People who cut the baby out of somebody.
A
Well, this is a really brutal story.
B
The other guy who cut up his wife.
A
See, everything's like, weirdly again, it's Christmas season. As we're heading into the holidays, you notice the stories do tend to get more grizzly. It's hard out there right now. This is a. I'm just go through the details of this story. I don't know everything. Natalie's fully ensconced in this.
B
Okay, good. It's still very much developing.
A
Natalie and I both have our separate true crime stories going at all times. Right. So, like, when I was.
B
We can't take this from her.
A
No, I don't want to. But also, this is the. She was. I was. I heard this from the other Room. And I was like, what the. And she's just like, yeah, this is a grizzly one. Because like I was all too into. Guess who just filed for divorce. Who? We's the Weezer bassist wife who got shot by the police. She filed. She filed for divorce. What? She filed divorce on him.
B
He's not supporting me. I shot at the police and he's not supporting me.
A
The fact that he went Coachella. Yeah, because he was paying for your court fucking money.
B
That.
A
That's what he did. You fucking crazy person. Jillian Lauren FILES with divorce it's fine. It's fine. It's all good. I know that she wrote a really interesting book about Samuel Little and she's done quite a bit bit for, you know, awareness of, you know, all that. Kind of a really good investigator of true crime. But she is a woman.
B
He's going to get out Scott clean free here. No, she's not going to owe her anything.
A
No fault state, my friend.
B
No fault state. Oh yeah, like no fault. Like including shooting guns at cops.
A
It's got nothing to do with the divorce.
B
I would say it does.
A
We'll find out. We'll find out. Actually don't know. Side stories lp l gmail.com what are the type of aggravating circumstances during divorce could actually affect?
B
Because it's going to be in prison.
A
California's. No, she won't. No, she got let off. She was probation. She just went to go do a. A treatment program. She got no time. She shot at the police and got shot by the police. They essentially decided to call that even.
B
Attempted murder of a police officer.
A
She shot in the sky.
White lady did. Well, it's called a white lady power. She's got a little white lady juice. So she used it. But this is. These people did not use their white lady juice. This is the story.
B
These cops are lucky they weren't in the garage. Can they keep moving?
A
Oh yes, there, you're right. Courtney Betholamu. That is a really funny Weezer joke.
B
Thank you.
A
It's a great song. Yeah, she s. She hates that song.
B
In backyard.
A
Yeah. Give it to weird out.
B
So this person.
A
Both these people could use a little bit of chill. Courtney Bartholomew, 40 and four 47 year old husband Bradley Bartholomew decided to become evil personified according to the Wexford county prosecutor Johanna Carey, by murdering their her daughter. So it was Courtney Bartholomew's daughter and removing the baby from inside of her while she was still alive.
B
And then did the baby live? It's not very clear if the baby lived or not.
A
No the baby died.
B
The baby died. She was supposed to give birth just a couple days afterwards.
A
So were they just. And that's why they were looking for. Is that what you're trying to say? That she was ex. They're excited.
B
I'm just stating facts. I'm not saying. I'm not giving them any kind of. These people are monsters.
A
You don't think I had a. You don't think they had a straight motivation?
B
Yeah.
A
You don't think so.
B
I don't know. Other than like them just taking the baby and leaving her for dead. I don't know what the. The plan was.
A
All right, here we go.
B
So we go. Autopsy. Autopsy.
A
Real. The body was parked, so the child was due to give birth to three days. The same day the body was discovered, authorities arrested Parks's fiance, Richard Valor, and Kimberly Park. So everybody tried to kill her. So her mother and her stepfather. Her fiance. Yeah. Good fucking Lord. And his sister. And I. I don't know why. Why?
B
I mean, even if she's the worst person on earth.
A
No, I mean there is. He.
B
Don't do this. Even if she's little Hitler, you don't do this. You know, like, it's crazy.
A
Well, posted a video on her Facebook page in the same day as her daughter. This is all from People magazine, by the way. That's. This is what they cover now. And it was due to give birth with a caption that read my alibi of where I was the night my daughter came up missing. Right. So that's what the mother posted. She then in the video which featured only black screen with audio, her 14 year old son said, this is the. The. This is her brother. She gave me my meds about 8, 40. I don't remember a lot, as I just said. But she was there when I went to bed and she was also there when I woke up the next day. I know that she never goes out and about when I'm sleeping just because she doesn't like to drive at night. So she thought that she could pressure a 14 year old into giving her an alibi. Yes, on Facebook. And it didn't work.
B
Yeah, man.
A
Yeah. But they're all now going to jail. Everybody's going to jail.
B
They're going to go to jail hard.
A
But you know what it is, is that while like, again, there's no discernible motive, but the reason why we try to pick it apart is because we do try to find some semblance of like, what's going on. What's a little bean brain thinking about what's that little kind of little nugget in there thinking about?
B
Right.
A
Ping ponging back and forth with their little ideas, you know, and it turns out a lot of times once you find them out, it doesn't help.
B
Yes.
A
Which is kind of sad because we're just interested. But cops always say that, don't they? In every interrogation. They're always like, we're here to find out why. Because we want to know.
B
We want to help you.
A
Which we want to help you. We're so genuinely curious. Curious about why and why almost never seems to affect the court case.
B
No. Also, we don't hear about when they actually do help people.
A
Oh, no. Well, I, you know, we're obviously, we know that police officers are having. They have a hard job. They also a lot of times abuse their past power.
B
Oh, yes, absolutely.
A
But we also know that they. Cops do help, but that's. Their job is to be helped to. Their job is to help and not thank that. Not be thanked. That's what their job is.
B
Yeah, they get paid to do it.
A
They're. They get paid. That is their job. They serve the community. They're supposed to go out there. Unfortunately, it sucks for police, but it's also the truth. Their jobs are to get shot and to do things to protect us. And because. And they're not supposed to have judgments about their own activity. They're supposed to go out there. That's what the thin blue line was supposed to mean for all you cucks and fly that flag. I have no idea what the that means.
B
There you go. That's very well said. Yes. That's very well said. Yeah. So these people.
A
Yep. All right. Piece of. This lady did well. Yeah. Obviously she's not a nice piece of. Yeah, she's not a nice lady grub.
B
I mean, there's nothing nice about it. It's a really. It's a really. Honestly the most disgusting crime I've heard of in a very long time.
A
Congrats.
B
Yes.
A
You know, I'm still there with Joseph Fritzel. Yes, I'm still there with my buddy Joseph Fritzel hanging out, fighting for him. Him fighting for his standings in the most gross crimes of all time.
B
Oh, it's tough time. You want to. You got all these nephews and nieces. If you're like me, you know, I got seven like that. I'm like technically got through marriage. But then all my friends, they have their kids call me Uncle Eddie too. And so it's like, I'm going, it's Christmas is coming Up. And I just got all these gifts I got to buy for all these children. Children. And so when you look at it like, oh my gosh, there's a list of like 15 children I gotta buy something for. I think the list might even be higher. So as I'm working up to Christmas time, I gotta start saving money in other departments. And you know who can help me with that? Rocket Money. There's like, ed, why are you spending this money on this streamer that you've never even watched? And I was like, you know what? Rocket Money, that's a really good point. Point. I either have to start watching this or delete it. And you know what? If I delete it now in November, then November, December, that's two months. That's one gift for one of these 15 kids. All right? So just think about it like that, all right? Lose some of the stuff that you don't need now so you can be a better uncle to kids that aren't even your family members. That's how I deal with this. Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions. It monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you could grow your savings. And savings, you know, it's Christmas time savings, they don't exist right now, all right? It's the credit cards. Okay, so Rocket Money is going to help you with that. They're going to help you save money so you can spend money. Does that make sense? Rocket Money will tell you about it. I'm just here promoting you.
A
Rocket Money.
B
So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com LPOTL today, that's RocketMoney.com LPOT RocketMoney.com LPOTL sling is changing the.
A
Way live TV works by putting viewers in charge of their entertainment. Pay only for the months when TV is actually needed and skip the ones when it's not. For short term needs. Sling passes provide live TV access without commitment. A day pass for 4.99 offers 24 access. A week pass, blah, blah, blah, who cares? Unsling is the only place that you can watch your pretty faces going to head hell on an app. It's the only place you see where you can do it. And so therefore it has become my favorite app. So you go to wherever the sling is, find Sling, and you can go to see your pretty faces going to hell on it. And that's all that matters. We're show people your pretty faces going to hell. Okay, so Go get Sling. Great app. How I've organized my channel lineup is I put your pretty faces going to hell five times on it. So go check it out. Out. Choose and customize your channel lineup or pause and watch for free. Sling lets you do that. Visit sling.com to learn more.
B
How you doing, everybody? Ed Larson here to talk to you about your deepest fears. Do you listen to last podcast too much? Does it make you scared to be home alone late at night worried that someone's gonna break into your house and slap your hiney a bunch? Well, Simply Safe will help you feel safe. That's right. Simply Safe is different. It's proactive with a double layer of defense that stops crimes before they start. Unlike the crimes that happen that we report on on last podcast that were not stopped. You know what? I don't think we've ever covered a case that Simply Safe was involved in Simplisafe. If they were everywhere, we'd be out of work. So go ahead, get me a vacation. Go get Simplisafe installed in your house so nobody can come inside of your home and slap your piney till it's red. So this month, only take 50% off any new system. This is one of the best prices you will ever see for Simplisave. Don't miss it. Hit SimpliSafe safe.com lpotl Again, that's simply safe.com lpotl and lock in your discount. There's no safe like Simply Safe.
A
Also, there's the story of the man who swallowed the Faberge egg and then shat it out. This is another. I am angry again. I'm re. Angered about this story. And the reason why I'm angry about the story is because then they still have the nerve deserve to charge full price for that Faberge. I guess that has come out of another person's asshole.
B
Yes. Oh, yeah, it's definitely. It's still at $19,000 value.
A
That is to me, because we just got. Remember, it was the piece of jewelry. I believe it was an Australian story. Was a piece of jewelry a man ate.
B
This is in New Zealand, I believe. It's just something that happens over there.
A
They got too many snakes. That's the problem. Too many snakes swallow stuff. Yes. So that was a New Zealand man.
B
New Zealand's full of birds. And that's why this guy swallowed an egg.
A
Yeah. He's like, oh, I'm a paragraph. It was the Texas man who swallowed the earrings. Texas man.
B
I'm sorry.
A
Texas and Australia are pretty close.
B
Yes. So anyway. But this guy, he swallowed the Faberge egg. It's a tiny egg. Yeah, it's a real tiny egg.
A
But you're still going to charge me? You mean to fucking tell me. Because they say the same thing. When they did 700 grand necklace that the guy shot out. They're all like, we cleaned it impeccably. Absolutely. Every cubic millimeter.
B
Drop the price at all. You're lucky you got it back.
A
There's absolutely in that thing.
B
Look at that tiny thing. It's as big as a fingertip.
A
There is absolutely in the crevices of that Faberge egg.
B
19 grand for that little piece of.
A
I'll give you 1200 for it.
B
Not even.
A
I'm even doing that just to not insult their asses for your stupid ass egg. I don't even get Faberge eggs. I don't even understand what they serve for and what they do and what I know. It's a Russian thing. It's the octopussy egg. This one's limited edition, dude.
B
Oh, it's. Yeah, that's right. Because they built it off of the movie Octopussy so they wanted to. It looks like the eggs.
A
It's a fake egg. No, the octopussy, it's not real. Octopus is a fake thing.
B
Thing. Yeah.
A
The whole thing's fake.
B
It has an 18 karat yellow gold octopus nestled inside. When you open it.
A
That's horseshit. What are we doing here?
B
Yeah, it's got d white diamond suckers and black diamond eyes. The octopus.
A
I think that Faberge eggs are a hate crime.
B
Yeah.
A
I think that anywhere there's Faberge eggs, they should be melted down and that money should be given to the poor.
B
Absolutely.
A
Faberge eggs are the single most useless thing I could possibly imagine.
B
Covered in diamonds.
A
Necklace it. You could rock it. I couldn't give a fucking shit.
Hate these eggs. I hate Faberge eggs.
B
You know who deserves some credit here? The label makers. The label went through this guy's body and came out and they were still able to read it. The price tag.
A
Oh, you're talking about the paper price tag.
B
The paper price tag.
A
Yeah.
B
I'm very impressed by the paper price tag.
A
I'm actually now realizing that's a hilarious photo because it's just a man with his rubber gloved hand fingering it. Because it's. It's just in a napkin. Now I'm realizing what this is. It's in a napkin with a rub rubber freshly.
B
That is definitely.
A
That's his gross rubber fingered gluh. Just one rubber finger pointing at the Faberge agates. It's got fucking shit residue all around it. 19 grand. Suck my dick.
B
So also, they're not sure if the guy swallowed other stuff, so they're still, like, watching him every time. He's still shitting in buckets.
A
And if I was him, who knows what I would. Neck. I don't know. I accidentally. I might have swollen several bracelets. We'll find out. Just this pervert just hanging out all day. Yes.
B
Look through that one.
A
There might be a stud or two in that loaf. Ah, yes. Smell it, why don't you? That had to destroy his, though, right?
B
Like the diamond. His whole intestinal tract. Yeah. It made it through, though. It shows. The human body is a lot stronger than we think it is.
A
I mean, it's just gonna come out.
B
It's a tiny egg.
A
It's shaped like an egg.
B
Every time I think of a Faberge egg, I always think of, like, a huge thing.
A
Well, they do make big ones.
B
Yeah. But this one's only three inches tall.
A
Yeah. Which also makes it even more of a waste of time. All of this stuff is just so. I'm not into it. I'm not into the. The. This. The whole just like charging money to. For the sake of charging money because of the thing. Says it's a thing. Is. Makes me angry.
B
Honestly, if you sell Faberge eggs, you deserve this. This.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
Yeah.
A
And the idea of you stressing. I watched one of the most upsetting body cam videos I've ever seen, which was a man that was a security worker at a spirit Halloween.
B
Okay.
A
Who had a gun for some reason. Young man.
Tackles the shoplifter, then proceeds to dog walk him across the parking lot with the gun to the back of his head. Head. And then shoots him point blank in the chest. What? Brutal video. The guy starts crying. Guy starts crying.
B
The guy who shot him.
A
Yes. The security officer loses his mind. Right. Because he's a child that should not have had a gun. He should not have had.
B
There shouldn't be a gun in a spirit Halloween.
A
No. Nothing matters. And it's.
B
It's not a real business.
A
Like, that's what I think about is when people steal from these companies. It's like that guy, like, the second he got out the door. Store. He should have let him go.
B
Yes.
A
With the Faberge eggs. And it's gonna rip through this man's intestines. It's gonna come out. But the idea of, like, sitting and watching this man in a bucket as the stuff slowly comes out of him is just this. I Of like that's where we get to as realtail. Realtail workers. So real tailors like people that make just over minimum wage have to go watch a man in of a bunch bucket until the precious items of their boss come sliding out of him.
B
You. Yeah, man.
A
I just be like you send a guy from Faberge if you want somebody to watch to deal with fucking loss.
B
Is Faberge a business?
A
Yes, it's the label. It's like what it's called. I believe, I believe. I believe there are companies that I don't. Maybe I'm wrong. I believe Faberge is kind of like how champagne comes from.
Yes. But anything can be called champagne. It is a brand. Yes. So yes, there are specific Faberge and then there are things that are come from that look like eggs that are maybe are not necessarily Faberge eggs.
B
These things. Yeah, they're worthless.
A
So this idea of anybody stealing anything and then you being on the hook for doing anything because like that officer also turns out the security officer from the Spirit Halloween. His mother was the district attorney. And.
Well there. It's still. He's not about to. He's gonna have to go to trial. But he definitely. He got charged for with that second degree manslaughter because he also poured pepper spray all over this guy's face and then shot him point blank in the chest.
B
Jesus Christ, man.
A
It's been stealing Halloween mess.
B
It's been a up year. Even the spirit Halloweens are closing down and becoming spirit Halloweens.
A
Save it for the clubs. There's also spirit Christmases on the east coast which are like they have.
B
Know that we have them here do. Yeah, we do have them here. Spirit. I saw one as I was driving the other day.
A
They're kind of sad over there.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little sad. Yeah. The Christmas spirit. Yeah, yeah.
A
Cuz definitely feels like it's like big divorced energy in there.
B
Yeah. You got to get in there and get something. You got to put up something to make your kids happy when they come by.
A
Yeah. Because if not, all they see is pictures of your new girlfriend. And you're like my gift.
B
So I bought a Faberge egg for my new girlfriend.
A
Well, you know, Christine, it's our first Christmas together, so it was kind of a big deal for us.
B
So.
A
And I've kind of had 15 Christmases.
B
With you, so we're not going to be around.
A
You know what I mean?
B
Yeah.
A
We're going to go fuck.
I know this is a real important.
B
Year for you, but we're out of here.
A
We're Going to leave and go fuck. So try not to become school shooter.
B
Okay, we have one more story that I just going to touch on for two seconds just because it's wild. Distraught widow handed bag contained dead husband's belongings which fell off a ferry. Very nice to do. His socks were in the bag, but apparently inside of the socks were the bottom of his. His feet. And she. And his heels were.
A
This was. And she's like, oh my God, this is the worst part of him.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
This is the part I hated him the most.
B
She.
A
This is so sad. This is the grossest part of my husband. Anything else, I would have. Oh, I would have been so happy.
B
Yeah. So she, she got all his stuff.
A
Back and just the bottoms of his feet. Yeah.
B
She was like, oh, this bag smells. And she's like, oh, his socks. And then she put his hand in the socks and it was just like meat. It was just meat at the bottom of the socks. And then.
A
And then her father came to put insoles in here. Oh, it's just his soul.
B
It's just his actual souls. Yeah.
A
Wow, that's horrifying.
B
Yeah, he. He had been on some new medication that kind of made him uneasy and he'd fell overboard.
A
Did they make the bottoms of his feet loose? Oh, he was like water log.
B
Yeah. Yes, because it took him a while to find him because she didn't realize he'd fell off the back of the boat and she didn't realize that he had been gone until it was been a while. So it took him a while to.
A
Find what's going on on here.
B
What do you mean?
A
How are they falling off these boats?
B
Oh, he was like sick. He was on some medication that he was actually a really good swimmer but he was like all up on medication that made him like uneasy on his feet.
A
Isn't that ironic?
B
Yeah. And then he. Don't you think it is ironic? It's very ironic. A little too ironic. He was like a diver and. And then he fell off the boat and. Yeah, they found him.
A
Wow, that is. Well, they found some of them.
B
Yeah. Well, they found all of them and then gave back part of them.
A
And you know, that's the thing about Davy Jones is like.
B
Yeah.
A
Is that sometimes she keeps what she wants and she gives back what you can take.
B
Yeah. She said that his feet were attached to the bottom of the socks, his soles and heels. What happened to Mark? No. Did no one realize his feet were hanging off at the mortuary?
A
To be honest? What this might be really shallow question what brand of sock? Because actually sounds really durable.
B
No, no, these are good socks.
A
Did it say what the socks were?
B
A Scotland socks box.
A
Suckland side stories lpotl Gmail.
B
Imagine it's wool. All right, guess wool.
A
I don't think wool's gonna hold feet in it. So if anybody can tell me, what do you think is the warmest, most thoroughly cushiony Scottish brand sock that these feet could have been in that kept them so warm they didn't want to leave?
B
All I know is I love my bombas. I.
A
Tell me about it. This. For some reason, this sentence just makes me want to hurl. Dude. All right. My 87 year old father had to come around and tie up the bag of Mark's feet and take it outside before the funeral home could come to collect it.
B
Yes.
A
Oh, like it was slippers. Yeah, well, you know.
But. Oh, yeah, it was his nickname. Slippers.
And this is how we have fun here, folks. We have to. If, you know, when it comes down to, you know what tight Taurus is all about, you know what's really about.
B
Whoop.
A
Whoop, Whoo. Gone. Remember that we did on the cruise that's happens to white women.
B
Whoop.
A
And gone. And you know, I just. What we discovered here at Side Stories a long time ago, if you ain't laughing, you're crying. Right? So that's the thing here.
B
Yeah.
A
We make light of it, but when it comes down to it, we're all gonna die. So. On the pipe for all of us. And I just hope that when I go, the laughter is just as good. So every day, day I live trying to make sure that my final moments will be as hilarious as possible.
B
They will.
A
I love to put myself in scenarios that I don't need to be in. What they say is for the plot. And then I know that you'll laugh when you read my obituary and you see. Oh, my God. Podcaster dies stuck in log flume at cheese festival.
That is the goal.
B
All right.
A
Oh, we got a lot listener stories, but we just did a full hour of just. I got to listen to letter.
B
We got to do at least one. Here you go. Do we have a sting?
A
Yeah, we got a new stinger.
B
Who's it from?
A
This one's from Zach from Dead Animal Assembly Plant.
B
Oh, I love their Christmas album.
A
Yes, but. But yeah, here it is. Check it out. Are you ready? Yes, I'm ready for some.
Right now.
B
Listener emails.
A
This go shirt. It's a listener mail experience. Yes, yes, yes, yes. See, that's. I like it very Rob Zombie.
B
He put you in it.
A
Yeah.
B
That's nice.
A
It's nice to hear my voice, but I will say, very Rob Zombie esque.
B
Yeah.
A
Very, very cool. Very cool. Very good work.
B
Dead animal collection service.
A
Very good.
B
Listen to them whenever you can.
A
Assembly plan. Dead animal assembly plan. He knows. We listen. Don't worry. We always listen. We know everything that's going on. One of the big things, one the update I wanted to give was, first of all, we maligned Tanners because Tanners are bad.
B
Yeah. I got a Tanner that reached out to me and said that we were right.
A
Yes, Many Tanners did. But there is one Tanner that is good.
B
Okay.
A
And it did. The Someone points it out to me, and it's true. And it's Tanner from Love on the Spectrum. So. Because Tanner was a very sweet man on Love on the Spectrum. But I will say Tanner. Tanner unfortunately voted for Trump. Family Voted for Trump. And Tanner is a tree, is literally a Trump stand.
B
Oh, so it doesn't matter. Nope. Just.
A
It's funny. No, he has no idea why. He just thinks Trump is funny. He thinks this is grandma. So that is the reason why he's doing it. I don't blame Tanner, but they are definitely voting for him in that house.
B
You ever see Tanner 88?
A
No, no, no, no, no. I normally. I avoid autistic pornography.
Right. He's not. Not allowed to do pornography.
B
I don't think 10 or 88.
A
I don't know if are they. Are severely handicapped people allowed to shoot pornography? Side stories. LPHL gmail.com.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah, I think they are. I mean. Well, I haven't seen it yet. We'll find out.
B
We'll see if you don't know if you've seen it or not.
A
No, I don't want to see it.
B
No, but you. You would watch it. If so.
A
No, I'm talking about visible.
B
I mean, everyone who's in porn is just like, oh, I'm coming. You know, how are you supposed to know? Like, what's wrong with them?
A
Let's get on to the next letter. Now, this one is the deaf finish enthusiast. I'm gonna read this. I'm reading this. And I do think it's interesting. But again, I will not apply any form of. How do I say this? I support Hurt your need to do death play. But I will say if I found out my sister was doing it, I would be extremely concerned. You know what I mean? It's like one of those where, like, when I meet a stranger and they explain to me about death Play. I'm like, oh, fascinating. We'll talk all day. But if I met a fan, literally I'd put Jackie in insane aside.
B
Yeah, I'm not a king shamer, but I am like a kink. Keep it to yourself just advisor.
A
It's more just been like, you want.
B
To be careful with that.
A
So here we go. So longtime listener of the podcast and lover of last podcast. All right, great. I listen to the side stories episode the woman from the UK being murdered by the that beard face in Ocala, Florida and wanting to answer some of Henry's questions about negotiating a murder. Okay, first and foremost, I'm an absolute freak. Play heavily with kinks that are regarded as edge play. Edge play. Kinks fall into a category of kink where they could result in serious harm to myself up to death. Auto assassinophilia is the hilariously long and double asked word for having a fetish for putting one's life at risk. I do a lot of play around breathing restriction, drowning, extreme beatings and other ridiculous shit that I won't list for the sake of brevity. I am hyper aware of the risk and I make a lot of choices to mitigate harm. There's really only so much you can do. You're going to get hurt hanging from a wench just by your tail hits, that's for certain. In case of our ocala friend and his UK visitor, the fact that there was no out for the person even when they were attempting to end the scene leaves the realm of BDSM and enters into just straight up criminal activity.
B
Yeah, that's what we talked about it.
A
Yes, I've had sessions where I've had negotiate, where I've negotiated more than I can handle and I've communicated that. And the sadist I'm playing with will always end the session. But are they real sadists then? A negotiating one's death is tricky business. I negotiate with scenes with the awareness that my death is a serious possibility. Funnily enough, I was enjoying a session with a friend where they repeatedly choked me unconscious yesterday. And I'm still here to tell the tale. Every time I went out, a bell dropped from my hand and they immediately let off my neck. I'd come back to in seconds and we were able to determine each step if I wanted to continue going or stop. It doesn't matter how fucked up the play or the risk profile. A consensual BDSM encounter requires a way out, requires wires, a way out and check ins. Even if that check in is yo, you still alive. And that is just the truth. Which is. Yeah. But obviously the man was murderer.
B
Yeah.
A
And she has to be murdered. And that is hard.
B
You know, when I was a stupid child, I used to, like, we. Me and my buddy.
A
You did stupid child thing.
B
We used to choke each other out. And I remember we stopped after one of us passed out and we thought we'd kill the other one. We're like, oh, we should probably not do this.
A
Yeah. We shouldn't do this all the time.
B
Yeah. Let's just start smoking weed instead of choking each other.
A
Nitrous, dude.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
We definitely started that as well.
A
So much easier.
B
Obviously.
A
It's oddly safer, I think, in a way.
B
Yeah.
A
But I'd be real careful out there.
B
Yes, absolutely. Nitrous for choking each other.
A
Just make sure.
B
Right.
A
Because I get it. Some people like a little squeeze here and there.
B
Absolutely.
A
I. It. It frightens me.
B
Yeah. Make sure you're holding your bells.
A
I'm a gentle lover.
B
Yeah.
A
I'm a gentle lover. I do little nibbles, little Spanx. We're in gentle. Yeah.
B
No choke.
A
Chokes. No chokes. I don't like choking something. I get scared.
B
No, no, no. Plus, it's just mean, right?
A
I guess. And people like it, though, Eddie.
B
People do.
A
Like some people. That's the idea is they like it because it feels mean. It feels mean.
B
Yeah, but it's not mean, I guess. God, I feel like I can't even say anything right now.
A
You're very vanilla. But I get it. It's fine.
B
Very vanilla.
A
I'm extremely vanilla, too. Yeah, but it's okay. They're like, you're taking it back. It's newly revolutionary in the world of Public Polly and all of these things. It's newly revolutionary to just have standard sex with your wife.
B
Yeah.
A
It's coming all the way back around.
B
All the way back around to just being.
A
Back to being perverts.
B
Wow. Oh, we're the weird ones.
A
Oh, yeah. Just straight up how gross we are just having sex with our wives.
B
Yeah. Sometimes I just hold her, you know, Sometimes I just hold her. We'd like. We'll put on music and we dance.
A
Oh, I hate. Ew.
B
You know, we'll do that sometimes. Like, we'll slow dance, the two of us. Yeah. Yeah. We have a night, a nice time.
A
You don't make each other throw up. No purpose. You're not beating her anymore.
B
No. For sexual purposes. Absolutely not. Oh, hey. Absolutely not.
A
Everything changes, huh?
B
I. We got. I got our Christmas stocking and I'm trying to fill the whole thing.
A
Still crazy.
Come check us on patreon.com last podcast and left to watch us do this.
B
You think I should put the bottom of my feet in her Christmas time?
A
Honestly, if you want to surprise her.
B
Well, I see if I can get my dad.
A
Salad. All right, we go in LP on the left for all your social Instagram needs. Keeping it good and dark for Christmas time. And you're going to go up.
B
What if I wrap my dad's ear and put it under the tree and give it to my wife? Be like I didn't want it anymore.
I thought that maybe you should have.
A
Will you please save it for her birthday? I think that's actually the case. Save her birthday so only she can get it.
And go check out YouTube. Go check out our new show LPN TV Vamp Vampire the Masquerade. LPN RPG is the best we've made in a long time. It is. Go Just know that we're about to have make a bunch of announcements for. I'll just go out and say it. We got a second se season of hoopa Goo.
B
Yeah.
A
Goo Goo is coming out. We have. You might be hearing whispers of another show that you guys have been asking for. It's coming out back again in 2026. Yield. Tears of a clown. In a way.
B
Oh, wow.
A
You know, go check it out.
B
Say in a way and then say the title of the show. Yep. It doesn't work like that.
A
It's so I. Can we somehow get out of it if things go wrong. But who knows? And they're not going to go wrong.
B
I got the doggy.
A
And we got Champ in hand champs here.
B
Champ wants to wish everyone a merry Christmas.
A
It's not time yet.
B
And Champ wants everyone to come to Ed's standup show at Oxnard on January 4th. Right, champ? Yeah, you do. Yeah. He does want everyone to come to Oxnard Levity Live to come see me and Carolina and Julia Johnson, Holden and Jake. It's going to be a lot of fun. Please come because I promised the them money and I don't want to. I don't want to lose money on this show.
A
That's your first mistake.
B
Is my first mistake by booking my friends never do that money. But yes. Also, I'm gonna be in San Francisco at the punchline on February 18, right before Henry and I head off to Alaska.
A
Yeah.
B
We got side story shows in Anchorage almost sold out. So if you want to come to the Anchorage show, get your tickets now. And Fairbanks, there's plenty of Tickets to Fairbanks.
A
Come out to Fairbanks.
B
Come out to Fairbanks. Seriously. We're going to be there. There's going to be no light. And we're gonna hang out with you guys and we're gonna have a good time and I can't wait. And then I think that's about. It's a Rooney. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I. I wanted to say my friend had a very horrible thing. Here's a psa. My friend's house burned down and it was a very close friend of mine. I love them greatly. Chelsea Riggs. You know, here's something. It's more of a PSA for everyone. I didn't realize this is a thing. It was an electrical thing. Fire. And apparently we're all supposed to have smoke detectors in our attics and no one has smoke detectors in our attics.
A
If you have an attic. I don't have an attic.
B
Yes, you do. We all have addicts. You got an attic. You got one up there somewhere. I. You got it. You got a crawl space with wire.
A
So what happens if you don't have it?
B
They. Their attic caught on fire through the bad wiring and they all almost died in their house burned down because they didn't even know there was a fire up there. That's frightening. Yeah. It's very terrifying. It's very scary. I. I can't. It's a. It's a definite. Put a smoke detector in your attic. Anyone who's got a home that you know make it. It's an easy Christmas.
A
I'm glad we saved this, actually. Very real tip for the very end.
B
Yes. Yes.
A
This extremely important tip. For some people it feels like. Which I didn't even think about.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No. So this could totally just happen to you. I'll buy you. I'll buy your smoke detector. Henry. This is on me. This one's on me. I'll get one for Mark. Focus. And I'll make sure our house is not getting burned down. So this Christmas, when everyone's Christmas trees are all up and dried out and got lights on them. Make sure you got all your smokes detected.
A
Yes.
B
Running and going. Because it's a really bad time for all this to happen. It's never a good time for your house to burn down. But at the same time. Please.
A
Unless you got a body in there.
B
Unless you got a body in there.
A
Yeah. You know, if you're looking to annihilate your family.
Move.
B
Right?
A
Actually pretty great.
B
If you want to help out my friends, there's a gofundme just Google support Riggs family after house fire and it happened in Tallahassee, Florida. You don't have to do anything to help them because we're going to help them out here.
A
But, but thank you.
B
Feel like it. You please. They just, it's just so tragic. And you ever think about this, you always read about it. But then when it happens to someone you actually love, it gets a lot of crazy. It gets crazier.
A
I actually, after the fires, I had several friends that lost their new either newly purchased homes. Their, their, their, their life savings was gone. It was, it's extremely brutal and the United States of America is not the kindest country right now and there's not a heck of a lot of safety nets for people. So we are unfortunately forced to take care of each other.
B
Yes. Yeah. So one day gofundme won't pay for all of our medical bills and fires, but that today that's what's going on.
A
Well, until GoFundMe becomes private health care. Yes. Which very well could happen. Ah, yes.
B
My GoFundMe PPO.
A
Ah, yes, yes. And then it's oh, you only get. And you only get it. If you complete it, you only get.
B
That's what's going to happen.
A
If not, they get it. They get it. They'll take the money.
B
Oh, well, I love all you guys. Take care of yourselves.
A
Try to take care of yourselves this very complicated season.
B
Hail sweet sake and hail Chelsea Rigs and her family.
A
Hi, I'm Jenny Slate and believe it or not, someone is allowing us to have a podcast.
B
I'm Gabe Liedman.
A
I'm Max Silvestri and we've been friends for 20 years and we like to reach out to kind of get advice on how to live our lives. It's called I need you guys. Should I give my baby fresh vegetables? Can I drink the water at the hospital? My landlord plays the trombone and I can't ask him to stop. You should make sure that you subscribe so that you never miss an episode. I need to go.
B
Running a business is hard enough, so why make it harder? With a dozen different apps that don't.
A
Talk to each other.
B
Introducing Odoo, the only business software you'll ever need. It's an all in one fully integrated platform that makes your work easier. From CRM, accounting, inventory, e commerce, and. And the best part, Odoo replaces multiple expensive platforms for a fraction of the cost. That's why over thousands of businesses have made the switch.
A
So why not you try Odoo for free? @odoo.com. that's o d o o dot com.
Hosts: Henry Zebrowski, Ed Larson
Episode Theme:
A darkly comedic rundown of the week’s grisly true crime stories, holiday horrors, and odd news items, told through the hosts’ distinctive irreverent banter. This episode explores infamous family annihilators, bizarre crimes, the strangeness of the holiday season, and listener interactions, all with the LPOTL signature blend of shock, humor, and empathy.
(01:19 – 05:47)
(06:05 – 12:07)
(12:37 – 14:08)
(14:09 – 25:00)
(25:09 – 26:05, 28:05 – 34:14)
(26:05 – 28:05, 33:13 – 34:14)
(33:13 – 36:34)
(40:29 – 43:32)
(62:13 – 66:05)
(48:09 – 56:02)
(69:59 – 71:58)
(60:29, 67:17)
This episode covers a gamut of contemporary horror and black comedy, mixing gut-wrenching stories with therapeutic laughter and reminders to cherish safety, sanity, and the dark absurdity of the human season.