Dad Jokes & Teen Texts with Dave Ogleton and Chip Leighton

Summary

Laugh Lines with Kim & Penn Holderness

Episode: Dad Jokes & Teen Texts with Dave Ogleton and Chip Leighton
Release Date: May 19, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Laugh Lines dives into the joyfully cringeworthy world of dad jokes and the sometimes baffling (often hilarious) texts from teenagers. Kim and Penn invite two viral internet dad-humor creators—Dave Ogleton (FitDadCEO, author of So Dad, It’s Good) and Chip Leighton (author of Dad, Can You Not? and the Layton Show)—to explore how embarrassing your kids might actually be a secret love language, how cringe creates connection, and why parenting (and being parented) in the digital age is funnier than ever.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Power of Cringe: Dad Jokes as Connection

Timestamps: 04:23–14:57

• Dad Joke Love Language:

  • Penn reflects on how dad jokes bring joy not because they're funny, but precisely because they're not:

    "Dad jokes bring everyone joy. Not because they're funny... They're funny because they're not." — Penn (05:38)

  • Dave Ogleton explains the real gauge of a great dad joke:

    "It's the cringe, it's the eye roll, it's the groan... more than the actual joke itself." — Dave (12:19)

• Dad Joke Definitions:

  • The group riffs on what sets a "dad joke" apart. Is it cringe factor, laughter, or “just knowing when you see it”? (11:58–12:19)

• Parenting by Embarrassment:

  • Kim suggests being embarrassing is “secretly a love language and parenting strategy.”
  • Consensus that being embarrassing is a constitutional right for parents (54:52).

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2. Guest Spotlight: Dave Ogleton (FitDadCEO)

Timestamps: 06:02–14:57

• Origin Story:

  • Dave accidentally fell into viral dad joke stardom during the pandemic, fueled by his six (!) kids for endless comedic material.
  • “I just hit record, that's all.” — Dave (06:51)
  • His book, So Dad, It’s Good, compiles cringe-worthy dad jokes.

• Parenting Styles & Family Dynamics:

  • Dave shares the unexpected joys and unique personalities across his massive family.

    "My favorite part is just watching how all of them deal with like adversity... it's pure comedy, just watching them all go through life.” (07:41–08:14)

  • On not including older kids in content: "They’re just like, yeah, we don’t want to be in your stuff. So I’m just like, okay, that’s fair." (08:24)

• Using Humor as Survival:

  • Humor is a necessary release from the daily pressures of parenting:

    “If you're not laughing, you're screaming or crying. 90% of the humor comes from those moments.” — Dave (14:03)

• Career Pivots:

  • From multi-level marketing (jokingly called “basically a cult”) to content creation. “I just got sick of like hearing myself say the same things over and over and nobody was listening—including myself.” (15:19)

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3. Dad Joke Showdown: Holderness vs. FitDadCEO

Timestamps: 16:28–21:03

• Format: Best of three jokes, judged by Kim and show producers.

• Memorable Moments:

  • Dave’s “Dumbledores/Dumbbell Doors” joke starts strong (17:22).
  • Penn earns a half-point for the experimental but baffling “thunderpants” joke (18:47–19:10).
  • Dave sweeps the round, but laughter ensues on both sides.

• Meta-Dad Joke Commentary:

  “If you, as a dad, laugh at your own [joke]... that's gotta be part of it.” — Dave (18:04)

• Classic Dad Joke Finale:

  • Dave: “Why does Peter Pan never tell dad jokes? Because they never land.” (23:54)

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4. Guest Spotlight: Chip Leighton (The Layton Show)

Timestamps: 30:27–46:28

• Teen Texts: The Art of the Eye-Roll Message

  • Chip has turned real-life, ridiculous kid/teen texts into viral hits (“Did grandma have kids?”, “Can you get lung cancer from eating smoked turkey?”)
  • Kids today are “so smart, but sometimes just lacking a little common sense in text.” — Kim (32:42)
  • His book, Dad, Can You Not?, provides tongue-in-cheek advice on being “less cringy” (while admitting cringiness is part of the job).

• Parenting Paradox:

  • “Parental embarrassment is actually good for kids… all that eye rolling is building character.” — Kim (33:01)
  • Chip’s own kids keep him humble, calling him “the unemployed middle aged TikToker.” (34:21)
  • The term “the olds” doesn’t bother Chip: “We came from the last century. So I guess I can’t really dispute that.” (34:46)

• Viral Teen Texts Shared & Reacted To:

  • “You get free Chipotle on the 13th if you have a tattoo. Do you want to go get tattoos and then go to Chipotle? Please, I will pay.” — From listener Kelly (39:49)
  • “Can you pick me up? Actually, I won’t be able to come to the front right away because I’m bleeding out like crazy.” (41:22)
  • “What’s the Amazon password?... Also, Happy Mother’s Day.” (41:51)
  • Show highlights parenting as constant, chaotic, and rich with accidental comedy.

• The Role of Communication:

  “A communication with a teenager or a college kid is a win no matter what it is, right? … We’re showing up for each other, even if there’s a bit of a schism in the way that we communicate.” — Penn (43:55)

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5. How "Cringe" is Actually Love

Timestamps: 54:15–55:33

• UberEats Takeaways (Closing Thoughts):
  1. Cringe is a Love Language: Embarrassing dad jokes or texts are just parents saying, "I’m not going anywhere, and I love you."
  2. Constitutional Right to Cringe: Don’t be afraid to lean in—being a cringy dad is part of the job and brings stability.
  3. Embarrassing Texts = Future Family Lore: Today’s awkward messages are tomorrow’s cherished stories.

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6. Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Dad Jokes:

  “If you, as a dad, laugh at your own [joke]... that's gotta be part of it.” — Dave (18:04)

• Parenting Perspective:

  "As long as we screw them up a little less than our parents screwed us up, we've won." — Dave (23:09)

• On Generational Change:

  "The job you will have has not been invented yet." — Kim’s journalism professor (52:58)

• Parental Humor:

  "I'm going to be like, leaning over his casket going like, 'Hey, babe. Hey, I'm sorry. What's the Hulu password?'" — Kim (42:56)

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• Dad Joke Showdown: 16:28–21:03
• Chip Leighton Interview and Top Teen Texts: 30:27–46:28
• Listener-Submitted Teen Texts: 39:49–43:17
• UberEats Takeaways (Episode Summary): 54:15–55:33

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Where to Find The Guests

• Dave Ogleton

  • Instagram/TikTok: @fitdadceo
  • Book: So Dad, It’s Good (Penguin Publishing, Amazon, Barnes & Noble)

• Chip Leighton

  • Instagram/TikTok/Facebook: @thelaytonshow
  • Website: thelaytonshow.com
  • Book: Dad, Can You Not? (Everywhere books are sold)

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Final Thoughts

“Cringe” isn’t just part of aging or parenting; it’s a vital form of connection, resilience, and affection. Whether it’s dad jokes that make you groan, or texts that make your eye twitch, every awkward moment is a thread in the family story tapestry. According to Kim, Penn, Dave, and Chip, being embarrassing—on purpose—might just be the best parenting strategy of all.

Next week: More life, more laughs, and, if UberEats is listening, maybe a new sponsor for the “takeaways” segment.

Transcript

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[B]

looked up cringy, there's a picture of us. Yeah, you would see us.

[C]

The sixth child. What was that conversation like?

[D]

It was oh, I'm pregnant That was the conversation.

[E]

My son manages a hedge fund, but he doesn't know what a cantaloupe is. You know, that kind of stuff.

[B]

I'm going to be, like, leaning over his casket going like, hey, babe. Hey, I'm sorry. What's the Hulu password?

[C]

Yeah, we get older every day. Got more wrinkles. That's okay. Yeah, we're laughing. When we age, life is like a comedy stage. And that's why we got laugh lines.

[B]

Hey, I'm Kim Holderness.

[C]

And I'm Penn Holderness. And welcome to Laugh Lines. Too much. Welcome to Laugh Lines. Welcome to Laugh Lines.

[B]

We have options there.

[C]

Okay?

[B]

If your kids have ever yelled at you to turn down shoop in the carpool line while they melted in the front seat, you're home, you're your people.

[C]

And that starts at what age? Seven or eight and goes 10.

[B]

10. I would say 10.

[C]

Yeah, 10. And it goes in an ad finitum. It goes forever straight line into infinity.

[B]

Okay, quick housekeeping note. Our new children's book is available for pre order. It's called Get It Done and have Fun ADHD Hacks for awesome Kids. It's a follow up to our first children's book about adhd. There's going to be tips and tricks on to get your ADHD kid or just a normal kid. Honestly, my mom pre ordered it because she's like, I need these tips to do other boring chores and the to do list and all this stuff so you can learn more at get it Done and have fun. Com.

[C]

And honestly, if you pre order it, that's great for people with adhd because if you do it now, you're going to forget about it before you know it comes out. Which is. Which is in September, which is perfect timing because, like, that's when school starts and that's when stuff starts falling through the cracks.

[B]

Okay, today we have two of the funniest dads on the Internet joining us. And we're going to talk about how to actually connect with your teenagers. Spoiler. It's very cringy whether being embarrassing is secretly a love language and parenting strategy. And we're going to settle once and for all who tells the better dad joke.

[C]

Really looking forward to that. I've been training for my entire life for that. I feel like dad jokes are my love language.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

With. With my kids. And people ask me this all the time, like, what pen? What's your favorite video you've ever done? One? I don't know. It's hard to decide because we've Done over a thousand. But there was one where I originally started doing dad jokes with my kids. Do you remember this one? Years ago, and we set up like a bunch of cameras and it, it turned out just being me laughing so hard at myself and my kids cringing and only laughing because of how embarrassing it was that I was laughing so hard. We could probably show a clip of that. What do prisoners use to call each other?

[B]

What? I don't know.

[C]

Cell phones. I get it.

[B]

But it's so funny. It's so funny. Look, after you tell a joke, you're like.

[C]

But like, dad jokes bring everyone joy. Not because they're funny. Right? Right, because they're not.

[B]

They're funny because they're not.

[C]

Yeah. And we're like, we're going to talk about this because there's going to be a dad joke challenge. And really, like, we should talk about the criteria.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Because what, what is a good dad joke?

[B]

Okay.

[C]

It's a bad dad joke.

[B]

It involves some cringe.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, first up, Dave Ogleton, known to millions as Fit dad CEO, is a content creator, entrepreneur, and was named the original dad fluencer by the New York Times.

[C]

Dave is the author of a new book, and I'm make sure I pronounce this right. So dad. It's good. A collection of cringe worthy dad jokes. He is a father to six children and host of the podcast Full Grown. And that's spelled G R O A N as well it should be, right?

[B]

Welcome to the show, Dave Ogleton.

[D]

Thanks. Thanks for having me.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Okay. We are obsessed. I found your stuff. Maybe was it pandemic when you started posting? Okay, how did you go from like a dad who tells really cringy dad jokes to now a dad who tells cringy dad jokes with millions of followers and now a book? How did that happen?

[D]

I just hit record, that's all. That's it.

[C]

Isn't that amazing how simple it is?

[D]

It's so simple. And we, you know, we have six kids, so, you know, we have tons of inspiration already as far as content is concerned.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

We just started recording and I think everyone needed a laugh around that time and it just rolled and evolved and, you know, and I just kept going from there.

[C]

You have six children, so like your, your life must be like looking at a timeline of, of all of these different ages. Can you, can you take a minute and talk about your favorite parts of all the different ages of kids? I'm sure you've got, you've got to

[D]

have that right Yeah, I mean, I think one of the. I just had this conversation a couple weeks ago. I think my favorite part is that you try to predict what the next age is going to be like, because the older one is like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And then you just find out you're totally wrong. And it's just, they're all. They all have their own, like, personalities, even though, like, they'll make the same mistakes and say the same things and do some similar things, but they all have their own personalities and ways of dealing with it. But my. My favorite thing is just watching how all of them deal with, like, adversity and, you know, all of that. So. And it goes from, you know, she's our oldest, is 17, all the way down to preschool age. And it's just. It's pure comedy, just watching them all go through life. You know what I mean? So it's. Even the difficult.

[E]

It's.

[D]

It's funny. So it's. That's probably my favorite part is just watching them go through the university of life.

[B]

Okay. Unless I'm wrong and unless I've missed something, you don't put your kids in your content. Right.

[D]

Every once in a while. They've probably been in it more in the past, but not recently. People are kind of weird online, so, like, I try to keep them out as much as they possibly can. And. And all of it isn't necessarily voluntarily, on my point. My part either. My. My older kids are just like, yeah, we don't. We don't want to be in your stuff. So I'm just like, okay, that's fair.

[C]

Give them the choice. I think that's. That makes a huge difference. Something we learned probably later than we should have.

[B]

Well, we did that Christmas Jammies video, and people. We get interviewed enough, and people ask us like, oh, what are. Something you wish you could have done differently? We should have not had our kids on the Internet until they could have consented. Right? Yeah. Like, we didn't know how creepy people were. And. And shame on us for not knowing. But our kids are 19 and 16 now, and very much when you see them, it's because, first of all, we've always paid them. We've always paid them. You should pay your kids if they're online.

[D]

Disclaimer.

[B]

Disclaimer. You should pay your kids. But they get more money for every appearance. When you see our kids, it's because they're like, hey, mom, what you got going on? Can I pop in a video? Yeah, same. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. The answer that I give to that is like, first of all, we thought that, like, 40 people were going to watch that video, truly. So it's interesting. You know all about this. When things go big. I want to go back to the six children. So the sixth child, was that a.

[E]

What.

[C]

What was that conversation? Like, was.

[D]

Was, oh, I'm pregnant. That was the conversation. So he was a Covid baby. And I will say, you know, once we had our fifth, it was kind of like we had already lost our minds at that point. So it was like, what's the point in not having a 6? But we didn't expect to be having another child during, you know, Covid. And we always say, like, he's our. He is our most challenging one out of all of the. The. The kids. And if he was our first, he would have been our last as well. So that's, you know.

[C]

Yeah, you're going to be such a happy old man. You're going to have so many people looking after. You're going to have so many grandkids.

[D]

Like, we always make jokes.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. I'm like, you guys, we are. We're going to sit back, and you guys are going to do everything for us. So just so you know, I think

[B]

people are also listening. I. First of all, I love that dads on the Internet are getting credit, because I think you, Penn, there are a lot of dads out there that do a lot of work, and sometimes, unfairly, dads can. Can become the butt of a joke or that. Like, you see a lot of busy moms on the Internet. Not. They're not busy. They're very busy. But the dads, I think, in a lot of houses are working just as hard. So I want to give props to you as a dad influencer. Was this ever part of, like, a business plan? Did you ever think you were going to be telling jokes on TikTok as a job?

[D]

I did not. Honestly, like, when I started, and I thank God it's not anywhere like, that can be found. No one scrolled back far enough. Like, when I first started doing content, I was doing, like, fitness content that was, like, insanely cringy. And I was doing all the trends, the Charlie d' Amelio dances, and you name it. And that lasted for about a week before I realized I think that wasn't my thing. And so I started pivoting more into the comedy. And. And as I realized, like, I have all of this inspiration here at home, I started diving more into that comedy side of parenting. And then the dad jokes came, and like I said, I just Kept rolling from there. And once I saw the business opportunity from it, I just. I let it roll, and I just kept working on my craft and building it out further.

[C]

So I've got a theory about dad jokes. Okay. Because what constitutes a good dad joke, I think is a. Is a worthy question. Some people may see it's. Is it the thing that makes you cringe the most? Is it? Or is it the thing that makes people laugh the most? Is it the dumbest thing? I think it's, like, past interference. Like, you can't really define it, but you know it when you see it.

[D]

Yeah, it's. It's a little bit of all of what you said, honestly, it's. If it's coming. And it's funny because, like, moms are telling these jokes now, too. So, like, they're like, I'll get messages every once in a while. Like, moms tell your jokes too. So, like, there's mom jokes as well. So, you know, it's moms telling dad jokes, but it's. It's the cringe, it's the eye roll, it's the groan, as I think more of what defines a dad joke is the response that you get from it more than the actual joke itself.

[B]

Yes. And what are you. What is your kids? I mean, we don't. We. We don't see your kids a lot, but what is their typical reaction to one of your jokes?

[D]

Oh, my older ones, like, the teenagers, they'll just walk away. Like, they'll. They'll just still look at me, and they'll just be like. And then next thing I look, they're just walking off. And then the. The. The three younger ones actually, lately have been telling me jokes. I don't know what's gotten into them, but the last month, they. I don't know if they saw it on, like, yogurt wrappers or whatever it was, but, like, they keep coming and telling me these jokes, and the one actually made me laugh, and I was like. I was like, are you trying to come for my job? Or, like, what are you doing here? Like, I don't know what's happening.

[B]

I love it.

[C]

That's interesting. You said yogurt wrappers. Didn't these originate from, like, the Joe? Like, the bazooka bubble gum Joe?

[D]

Yep.

[C]

Wasn't that kind of the origin of all dad jokes?

[B]

Oh, that is really.

[C]

I don't even chew gum, but I remember I would, like. I would look at the jokes and then give it to somebody else.

[D]

Oh, yeah. The jokes actually lasted longer than the Flavor in the bubble gum. So it was, you know, it was great.

[B]

Have you, I mean, six kids, you.

[C]

We keep going back six kids.

[B]

I can't imagine. No, no, no. But have. I would imagine that if you're not, there's going to be moments where if you're not laughing, you're screaming and crying. Right? Like, talk to us about how humor has, has helped this process.

[D]

That's where 90 of the humor comes from as those moments. Like I, if you think about just parenting in general, everyone always wants to. That's what the Internet, I feel social media started as everyone wanted to make it seem like they had this like beautiful butterfly, picturesque, like parenting style. And in reality, 90 of it is like, if you don't put your sneakers on right now, I'm gonna lose my mind. And then you're like, what do you mean? I didn't tell you to put your sneakers on. I literally just told you two minutes ago. So it's not just like, you know, this like picturesque thing where I'm taking all the comedy from the, the funny and happy moment. It's taking the comedy from those pain points and like, so I'll even sit down like once a week and I'll just write down what happened this week. What did another parent tell me that happened this week? You know what I mean? And I'll take those pain points and turn that into something that is funny because I feel like as parents, we all kind of need that community to laugh at those things. So.

[C]

Amen.

[B]

What did you do pre Internet job?

[D]

Pre Internet job I was doing. I ran a wellness business where I was working with this like multi level marketing company and I was basically in a cult. And I wasn't gonna say it, but it's, it's weird because you don't know it when you're in it.

[B]

But like any good, like any good

[D]

cult, like any good cult, you know, and, but I didn't know, you know, towards the end I started trying to transform into my own thing, my own business, because I always loved fitness. I was, I was really big into it. And that's where like the fit dad CEO name came from. So that, that was, that was long ago. I created that. And I just got sick of like hearing myself. I could get. I got sick of hearing myself say the same things over and over again and nobody was listening, including myself. And as soon as the pandemic hit, I kind of was at a point where I didn't know what I wanted to do with my fitness business. And as soon as this opportunity presented itself. I've always wanted to do this. I've always wanted to create content like this in some form. I just didn't know it would come like this.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Was it tough disentangling yourself from this company?

[D]

Listen, if I go, it wasn't because I kind of just like. I'm pretty sure I'm still in it, honestly. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, no.

[D]

I just don't. They don't let you go. But if I go missing, just know.

[C]

What a smart career pivot for you. We're glad to have you here. One of the big reasons we brought you here is because of your skill

[B]

level of dad jokes and the performance of it. Everything. 10 out of 10. 10 out of 10.

[D]

I love it.

[C]

I think we might have a challenge for you here.

[B]

Yes. I thought it would be fun. And by me, I think Ann Marie Tapke, our producer, had this idea to have a dad joke showdown of sorts. And to the point where I said, pen, did you agree to this? I mean, Dave is kind of like the goat dad joke.

[C]

I'm nervous. This is not Glass Joe. This is Mike Tyson.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

This is if you know the reference from Mike Tyson.

[B]

But I'm saying. Yeah.

[D]

I brought notes. Okay.

[C]

You got your own book. He's got a book that seems okay. So I'm gonna try it.

[B]

We're gonna do best of three. You guys are gonna have a joke off. First Dave will go, and then Pen, and then the winner will have bragging rights forever. And who's the judge? I'm the judge.

[C]

Well, I think all of you guys, we have.

[B]

We have Anne Marie and Sam in the room. Round one.

[D]

So I'll give you one of my. My classic. I said to my sons. I said to my son, where do you find the gym in Hogwarts? He said, they don't look like they live, bro. I said, no, dummy. Look for the Dumbledores dumbbell doors.

[C]

Yo. I got it.

[B]

That's really good. That was really good.

[C]

Okay, Pen, because I'm a big space fan. How does the moon cut his hair?

[B]

How?

[C]

Eclipse it.

[D]

That is. That's a classic bad joke right there. That is.

[B]

I'm embarrassed to be laughing at it.

[C]

I got you. I got a snort from you.

[D]

See, we gotta. I feel like you need to add that to the definition of a dad joke. If you, as a dad, laugh at your own.

[E]

Oh, God. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

That's gotta be part of it.

[C]

You have to judge.

[D]

Oh, are we going each round?

[B]

Oh, each round. Okay. Dave.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

I also picked Dave.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Same thing. Sam.

[F]

Oh, I laughed harder at pen.

[C]

Okay, so it's not unanimous. It's two to one.

[B]

Two to one.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Ding, ding.

[C]

All right.

[D]

All right.

[B]

Round two.

[D]

Do you think Bruno Mars got his name by accident or did he plan it?

[C]

That's good.

[B]

I love that.

[C]

That's good.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[C]

I'm, I'm going experimental with this one.

[B]

Oh, God. Oh, God.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

What?

[B]

See, this is a problem. He thinks he's funnier than the Joker.

[C]

What do clouds wear under their shorts? Thunderpants.

[B]

What are thunderpants?

[G]

Underpants.

[D]

Underpants. Underpants.

[B]

Oh, okay. That was great. I'm gonna go. Dave.

[C]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[H]

Dave.

[B]

By a landslide.

[C]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I didn't realize that that meant underpants before I read it. I thought it was just something called Thunderpants.

[D]

And I thought I saw your face and I was like, he doesn't think that means underpants.

[C]

No, I didn't. It's not as funny anymore. It's better when it's just random. Thunder pants. Why would they be under your shorts?

[B]

What are like.

[C]

I didn't know what I was doing with that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, you're great.

[C]

Sometimes the shitty ones are the better ones, so.

[D]

You were so proud of that one, though. I gotta, I almost. I gotta give you a half a point for that one.

[B]

Half a point. Half a point. But Dave wins that.

[D]

Wrong.

[C]

This is, this is rigged if I gotta have points for that.

[F]

This is not the time to be experimental.

[B]

Okay, yeah. Lock in, pen. Lock in.

[C]

Just be like. Okay, okay.

[B]

Round three. Round three.

[D]

Bug hits my windshield while I'm driving, but he doesn't have the guts to do that again.

[B]

Got him.

[C]

No guts. Okay, what's red and really bad for your teeth?

[B]

What?

[C]

A brick pen. Wait, Dave likes that one.

[B]

This is stupid.

[C]

That's what a dad joke is. It's not supposed to be good. You guys aren't getting this.

[B]

Oh, I, I, I'm going to declare. What do we Asam. Emory.

[H]

It's Dave.

[B]

It's Dave. Unanimous.

[C]

You guys don't get it.

[B]

Do you want to tell your clown your clown joke?

[C]

Two cannibals are eating a clown, and one looks at the other and says, does this taste funny to you? Are mine too gross is your problem?

[B]

No, that's a good one. That's a good one.

[D]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[C]

I've also got. What did 50 Cent do when he was hungry? Oh, God, 58.

[D]

58. I love that one. That's, like, one of my favorites.

[B]

Oh, gosh.

[C]

Before we get you out of here. We were from North Carolina. You told me you're an Eagles fan. You told me you had a Cam Newton story. I can't let you leave without that.

[D]

Okay, so my son's very first Eagles game was a Panthers game. I think it was 2017.

[C]

We were good back then.

[D]

You were, you were still good then. Yes.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

You were still competitive then, I'll say that.

[E]

And.

[D]

But apparently you were more competitive than we were that day because as his first game, we were up by, I believe, like three touchdowns at the half. And Cam Newton single handedly stormed back, won that game. And I'm pretty sure he put up like 100 yards rushing. And then his last touchdown, right at the last, like couple minutes of the game was a rushing touchdown. And my. I forget, God, I forget how old he was then. He might have been 10, I think at that point. I'm so bad with like their ages. But he, but he was still young. And as we're leaving the stadium and he's learning all these new curse words from people as we're walking out of the stadium, he goes, that's my first game ever. Seriously, dad, thanks. And I was like, so. So Cam just totally ruined it.

[C]

Like, it's your fault. It's your fault.

[D]

I was like, I was on the field, like, what do you want me to do? But yeah, so that was, that was my, my Panthers. My one and only, like, you know, Panthers.

[C]

When are our kids going to be okay with us?

[D]

Never. Never.

[B]

I mean, I, I think now I'm very respectful to my mom, but she's 75 and I'm 50, so it's just

[D]

because we understand as parents, like what we did as kids also. And then our kids are doing it to us again. Yeah, we're, we're just trying not to screw them up.

[C]

So that's the answer. That's the answer. They're going to realize when they have kids, like, oh, you had to do this. And, and Dave. Yes, we are going to screw them up. We already have. But we won't figure that out until like that period in between now and kids when they go to therapy.

[D]

Yeah, as long as we screw them up a little less than our parents screwed us up. We've won.

[B]

We've won. We've won.

[C]

That's your next book, Screw Up.

[D]

That's the title right there.

[C]

That's your next book, your Kids Less.

[B]

Okay, where can folks find your book?

[D]

Everywhere. You can find it through Penguin Publishing's website. It's at Barnes and Nobles. You can find it on Amazon. You can find it everywhere available May 12th.

[B]

Okay, we will. We will link in the show notes. So dad, it's good. And, and also people can find you at line online at fitdadceo. And he is no longer in a cult.

[D]

There you go.

[B]

Okay, can you bring us out, can you send us out on a one last good dad joke? Maybe one from your book or when you got in your noggin?

[D]

Why does Peter Pan never tell dad jokes?

[B]

Why?

[D]

Because they never land.

[C]

Oh, yeah, good one.

[B]

That's a good one.

[C]

He's a pro.

[B]

Ladies and gentlemen, more on this after these words. Okay, we've got an ad and it's about menopause. So I know what you're thinking. Time to take a little break. But hold on, let me help you figure out if this ad's actually for you.

[C]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[C]

Oh, and they take insurance. That's big.

[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[C]

I know. Quince has been your go to for this too, right?

[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Holderness for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Holderness

[C]

all right, so let's flip this. Okay. Dave covered the jokes that we tell that make the kids cringe.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

We're now headed to the texts our kids send that sometimes make us cringe a little bit. Well, or at least laugh.

[B]

I won't even say kids.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Can I tell my. So I'm not going to mention this person. I will say someone in our family. Someone in my family. Not a child. An adult texted our group family chat said Nana fell lol. Nana, my grandmother remember this? Who has since passed. I got that text and I did a wtf and I called the person

[C]

who sent it wtf, which obviously means why the face?

[B]

Why the face?

[C]

Making sure we all got that.

[B]

And this person thought LOL meant lots of love and Nana fell lots of love. So Nana was, Nana was fine. Short hospital stay fine. But that has lived. That is the funniest awful but made light of a funny, of a awful situation.

[C]

I mean Nana fell lol. Is, is generally like accepted vernacular in our family now.

[B]

It's actually what we. If something goes horribly wrong, we're like Nana fell lol. Bless Nana. She would want us to be joking.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

With, with her. What about you?

[C]

I feel like most of my texts that I send, I look back at it and I'm like people didn't need to know that. Like I, I'll, I'll text you about how like I, I found a, a spoon with peanut butter.

[B]

That was the best.

[C]

And I found it four days later and it was in to the jar of peanut butter.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

And I had been looking all over for it but then I kind of forgot about it and didn't care and then I found it was four days later. I'm like pretty clean pantry.

[B]

So I ate it.

[C]

Well, my question was should I eat it?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

But like that's, I could Have. I didn't have to say anything. I could have just kept that to myself. But I feel like maybe you appreciated that.

[B]

I did. Let's get to Chip Layton.

[C]

Chip has become an absolute Internet icon and a source of joy for me over the last year or so because he just keeps popping up. And it's just texts that teenagers send their parents. And I will say we are going through this a bit because. And maybe it's because of the way that I interpret it or all parents interpret it, but sometimes their texts seem a little dicky. And I know I love. I know I love my kids, but

[B]

sometimes I want to punch them a little bit, right?

[C]

Like, are you with me on this? Other parrots. Like, I love. I love my kids in front of

[B]

a bus for my kids. But there are some times when they text us. And you and I will run to, like, you'll be upstairs, I'll be downstairs. We'll run to each other.

[C]

Can you believe?

[B]

And so I think some of the times we're misinterpreting or maybe or the

[C]

language has just become such that, like, they text each other this way and they don't get offended by it.

[B]

So I want my kids this summer to take some AI courses because you're going to be left behind. Right? You got it. You got to jump in. And I been texting Lola some just people that are talking about it. Suggestions, Some suggestions. Because I'm sure she. She texted yesterday, OMG mom. And I was like, OMG what? This is amazing. Keep sending. Or omg stop. She's like, stop.

[C]

Right? And so you know what this is going to be?

[B]

What?

[C]

This is going to be something that obviously most of our viewers are the olds are the old like us, but maybe we share this with our kids as a bridging of the gap. And perhaps Chip can help us bridge this gap by explaining why this happens, why we react this way, and wtf?

[B]

Why the face.

[C]

Yeah. Chip Layton is a comedian, a New York Times bestselling author, and content creator. He's best known for turning real life text exchanges between kids and their dads into viral gold. Chip is the author of dad can you Not A Dad's Guide to Being Less Cringy, as well as what time is noon? Chip has been happily married for 25 years, has two kids, and lives in Maine. All right, Chip, thank you so much for joining us. Been a huge fan for a while. I want to start with this question. What time is noon?

[E]

Yeah, that's a. I've probably gotten that text some version of that text from about 12 different parents. Like kids. Yeah, they don't. They don't that big on like, like quarter after quarter of Dune, those kinds of things. So, yeah, that was named my first book.

[B]

Yes. So walk us back to the first thing you posted. What was it and what made you think, oh, this is an actual thing, and you. That kept on going?

[E]

Well, I think the first thing I posted was not. Did not lead me to that conclusion. I was. At first, I was posting just weird, silly stuff. And I tell people, after six months, I had 17 followers.

[A]

Wow.

[E]

I was actually going to delete the account.

[D]

And then.

[E]

And then I posted something about marriage that went viral. And. And then a couple weeks later, I posted like, the first, like, funny teenager text thing that went viral. And I. I kind of figured out pretty quickly, well, after six months anyway, that, like, I should be posting about my own life and things that people can relate to. And that's when it kind of turned into this community and this platform.

[C]

I mean, the reason why I laugh at all of your teen texts are a. They just seem so familiar. And I'm sure that you've realized this, like, your community, they're all going through this. Do you have, like a top two or three of all time that just gets you every time that you read them?

[E]

I mean, there's so many. Yeah, there's so many. I mean, I've always liked. Did grandma have Kids? You know, the simplicity of it. You know, you got to think about it for a second. But yeah, I mean, can you get lung cancer from eating smoked turkey?

[C]

I was thinking about that one.

[E]

The. There was a kid who was like. He was. He was like, hey, I got. I tried this cologne at the store I want for Christmas. The brand is called Tester. It's that kind of stuff.

[B]

So here I. It. It brings me back because, yes, our kids have texted us very similar things. Our children are so smart. I mean, they're doing math that I was not even invented. I swear to God, when I was in school.

[C]

I can't. We can't help with homework anymore and haven't been able to for a long time.

[B]

But what time is noon is. Is something that seems like a very common thing. I mean, I have a theory also, and you can validate or destroy this theory that there's a certain amount of parental embarrassment that is actually good for kids. Like, all that eye rolling is building characters. So when you're talking about A Dad's Guide to Being Less Cringe, I'm like, I don't know, it's my, it's my right to be kind of cringe.

[C]

God given damn right as a dad. Thank you. And I've been cringy, I've been saying that. And I know that your book title was Tongue in Cheek, but I saw the title and I'm like, I will never stop being cringy for my kids.

[B]

Talk to us.

[E]

Yeah, I mean, generally, dads don't need to be like, encouraged to lean into the cringe thing. Like we have a natural kind of a desire to do that.

[D]

But.

[E]

And it's funny.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

When I told some people about the book I was writing, I'm like, you know, they're like, why would I. Dads, like, hey, why would I want to be less cringy? That's like half the fun of being a dad or whatever. So there is. We do tend to like lean into it and embrace it. And there's something, I don't know, there's something that just kind of. There's a nice dynamic that evolves, you know, in the family around it, I think.

[B]

Do your kids, or do the kids maybe that you've been sent these texts. Your kids, are they able to laugh at this stuff, at their stupidity?

[E]

I mean, definitely not as much as, as parents. I mean, my, my kids do a pretty good job of keeping me humble. You know, they're my. For a while, my daughter was calling me the, the unemployed middle aged tick tocker. You know, which, you know, I can't dispute the facts there, but it's not, I wouldn't, it's not flattering. I don't feel like.

[B]

So she didn't mean it as a term of endearment.

[E]

No, no.

[C]

How do you. Yeah. How do you feel about the advent of the term the olds?

[E]

I mean, if we, we came from the last century. So I guess I can't really. I can't really dispute that, but there's. Any of the terms for us are not going to sound great. I have like, like my, my new book's got like little mini roasts from my own kids, you know, where they, you know, talk about me and so like they like one. I think that in the forward, like they say, like, yeah, our dad left a solid, solid paying corporate job in his 50s to film insufferable tick tocks. So you know this. They're not, they're not as thrilled with the whole path as I am, I guess.

[B]

Okay, well, let's talk about your path. Tell me about the job you left and when, when you sort of discovered that making cringy tick tocks could be an actual job.

[E]

I guess I started this whole thing five, about five years ago, 2021, and. And I was working full time in, in like marketing and corporate strategy, like in the corporate world. And for a couple years I did kind of both at the same time. And it was, it was starting to like, pick up steam and I knew I wanted to write a book and I just, it was, I was doing it nights and weekends. It was just really hard. And I was like, you know, if I want to really take a shot at like doing this, you know, and trying to see where it could go, I'd probably have to leave my day job. And so I did that and, and it's been amazing. I mean, it's. I'm. I started this when I was 50, so it's not like I, you know, was like in my early 20s trying to think about whether I could make like a multi decade career out of this. I just kind of needed like something that was like the next chapter that would kind of bridge me to eventually to full retirement. And yeah, it's been amazing to just like connect with other people and, and just, yeah, do something fun and work. It's the only time I've ever worked for myself in my whole life. So it's. Yeah, no, I'm very lucky.

[C]

Does changing your job to become an influencer about cringe makes you. Does that make you more or less cringe to your kids?

[E]

Much, much more.

[C]

Yeah, that's what I expected. And lean in, man.

[E]

That's the main source feedback. I mean, you could probably relate. I'm not, I'm not saying you're cringy, Pen, but like, oh, no, I'm not singing and dancing. Right? Like, that's.

[B]

Oh, we are in. If you looked up cringy, there's a picture of Wikipedia.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You would see us. You would see us.

[C]

Yeah, fully and fully leaned into it and understanding it and feel and it gives me like, for me, Chip, it gives me a sense of freedom as, as kind of coming out as saying, I am cringy and this is what

[B]

who I am now do. Your kids. We have one child. He has a podcast. He. He, I think is leaning into like, what this could be an actual job. One very much not. Do you, do your kids see this as a career path for them, for themselves?

[E]

I. I mean, I don't think so. I mean, they don't really tell me much about what they general, so I wouldn't really know. But no. My daughter's Gonna be like a math major in college, so probably not. And. And my son. My son's in college. I. At one point, I think it was like his freshman year, he was like, oh, dad, they found out about your tick tock down here. A couple random girls asked if you were my dad, so I don't. Maybe that helps. I'm not. I'm not really sure, but the texts

[B]

from a college kid are an entirely just new genre of parenting. Right.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

No, I've. I. That was one of my viral. Most viral posts. Probably, like, texts from my college freshman and, you know, you know, stuff like, you know, what's my shoe size? And, you know, that kind of thing. And so it's spawned a lot of crazy, crazy questions from. From college kids.

[C]

And for the most part, it's not like, hello, father.

[B]

How are you doing?

[C]

Thank you for all that you've done. I would just love to ask you this question. It's more like, dad, I have five seconds. I need all of our financial information. Go.

[D]

Right.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Well, our best one actually wasn't super. It's funny now, but I. I never. I mean, our daughter's a college freshman wrapping up her freshman year, but I always had my phone on me. I mean, my first. First born in college always had my phone on me. The one time I didn't answer my phone when she called, I picked it up and see the text, mom, answer. It's an emergency. I just got hit by a car.

[E]

Oh, geez.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Now it's funny.

[C]

We were in New York on a. On a fun weekend and just kind of had to unplug ourselves. Yeah. And she's like, yeah, I'm fine. I walked home.

[B]

Yeah, she was fine.

[C]

I'm like, did you get the information from the person who hit you?

[B]

She did. And she got a Starbucks gift card, because.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

The lady ran around and that's a whole.

[C]

Okay, so I heard.

[E]

I got to tell you, I heard, like, almost the exact same thing recently. It was like, oh, my. I forgot to tell you. I got hit by a car the other day, walked into school, but he gave me 20 bucks, so I'm fine.

[C]

Are we all living the same life like that?

[B]

We are. That's why it's so funny now.

[C]

Okay, I want to get back to your. To your Instagram and TikTok, like, compilations of teen and child texts. And so we decided to, like, give you some more. And we, like, we. We reached out to our followers, and by the way, most of our followers who Sent these in. Is it all of them, Anne Marie? All of them are moms. And moms. Moms keep their receipts. So these are fun. We would love to. We're going to put these up and we want to get your reaction. And if you have any others that reminds you of this, I think this would be a lot of fun. Yes, yes.

[B]

From Kelly. We'll start with this one. You get free chipotle on the 13th if you have a tattoo. Do you want to go get tattoos and then go to Chipotle? Please? I will pay.

[E]

Yeah, that's a little. A little backwards.

[B]

I'll pay for the tattoo so we can get free Chipotle.

[E]

I have probably 10% of the texts that I have collected have to do with Chipotle. So this is. That's not a common.

[C]

All right. This is from Tara. I'm sorry, Mom, I don't want to do a job fair in the weekend right now. Frankly, what the bleep even is a job fair. I don't want a job fair. I want a job. And Tara wrote back, you go to the job fair to get job.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

That's a great. That's a whole genre of when kids start working. Like, you know, one kid was like, hey, I just had a. I just worked a 40 hour week. You have no idea how tiring that is.

[C]

That sounds fantastic.

[B]

Was it your account? I saw this. That was a kid was babysitting for the first time and it said like, like, the. The kids are asleep. Can I come home now?

[E]

Oh, right, yeah, let's stay. Yeah.

[B]

And he's like, no, you have to stay there until their parents get home.

[E]

Yeah, it's a kind of an important part of the job. The other one I see a lot is, when do I have to give my two weeks notice? It's right there in the name. Yeah, one guy told me, like, works with teens. And one kid came in, he's like, I'm giving you my two weeks notice. My last days to be tomorrow.

[B]

We're idiots. Oh, this is from Molly. There's a picture even. Can you pick me up? Actually, I won't be able to come to the front right away because I'm bleeding out like crazy. And then there's a picture again with the injuries.

[E]

Again, there's a nonchalance to a lot of teenager texts. That's just breathtaking. You know, it's like, I remember one, it was like, hey, when dad wakes up, can you tell him a tree fell on our house when he wakes

[B]

up for that one don't wake up.

[C]

All right, this is from Shannon's 22 year old. At 11:10am she wrote what's the Amazon password? Comma?

[D]

Right.

[C]

At 11:38am as a follow up. Also, Happy Mother's Day.

[E]

Oh, yeah, yeah, Mother's Day. Usually you just get. I don't know what you get, but a lot of them I see are just like hmd, but to me it's the timestamp, right?

[C]

Because the. They did not respond for. For 28 minutes. And then maybe there was some self awareness by the 22 year old. Like, wait, I'm doing this on Mother's Day. How do I. How do I get this? I think I have to actually acknowledge.

[E]

Yeah, my favorite recent one was. Hey, mom, if you're not in the MRI tube yet, can you send me the four digit Netflix code?

[C]

I remember that one.

[E]

Never off duty.

[B]

In fairness, I have a mental block with passwords. I don't know what it is, but my brain does not absorb passwords. So if it doesn't save in my phone or on my computer, I'm dead. I'm going to be like leaning over his casket going like, hey, babe. Hey. I'm sorry, what's the Hulu password?

[C]

Oh, look, she's saying something so sweet to him.

[B]

No, no, no, no. I just need the Hulu.

[C]

She's trying to wake him up because she can't get into Amazon. Let's end with Renee, whose college. I assume this is a college child because it has to do with buttered noodles. I spilled buttered noodles in my Uggs. Do you have any idea how to get them out?

[E]

I mean, I see so many laundry related texts from college kids. Like that's a whole thing. Like my. I think my favorite is girls. Like, how do I get my clothes out of the washing machine? Do I just like reach in there with my hands?

[B]

So this is an us problem because I, I did. You know, Lola just didn't have. I guess I didn't. I did send her with stain treat or like shout things, but I put it in the thing that went under her bed that like she just never saw. Like that I just so carefully packed. So there was a. How do I get like I've already washed and dried it four times and it's not coming out. How do I do this? And I'm like, right, don't you guys

[C]

feel like just communicating? It doesn't matter what kind of communicating it is. A communication with a teenager or a college kid is a win no matter what it is, right? Like, we're showing up for each other, even if there's a bit of a. Maybe a schism in the way that we communicate with each other. But have you found that as well, Chip?

[E]

Yeah, no, absolutely. I mean, when I was, you know, off in college, I was, you know, maybe once a week I'd go down the hall and try to make a, you know, a phone call from this, like, you know, phone on the wall or whatever. But now we're just, like, seconds away from communicating with kids. And I actually think it's.

[C]

Think it's.

[E]

It's a good thing that kids ask these, you know, quote unquote dumb questions of their parents because they could find it out on YouTube or tick tock or whatever, but they're choosing to, like, be vulnerable with you and connect with you. And, like, I think that's a great thing. And I. My oldest is in college, but I hear from a lot of, like, parents of even older kids, like, you know, 20 somethings, like, oh, this doesn't stop. You know, like, yeah, my son manages a hedge fund, but he doesn't know what a cantaloupe is. You know, that kind of stuff.

[B]

Tell us about your new book where people can find it, all that good stuff.

[E]

Yeah, yeah. So the new book is called dad, can you Not? A Dad's Guide to Being Less Cringy. So I'm. My first book was all about the teenager text. So I'm kind of turning the tables a little bit here and giving dads some kind of tongue in cheek advice about being less cringy. So it's. It's full of, like, lots of real life stories of actual things that dads have done that people have shared with me on social media. So, like. Like, I have a whole chapter on food. There was a dad who ate an entire bowl of Thousand island dressing because he thought it was soup. It's. It's those kind of moves. She's shocked at that. Pen's like, just, okay.

[B]

You're like, I don't know.

[C]

I mean, like, honestly, put a couple pumpkin seeds in there and it's a Halloween surprise, right?

[E]

So tons of that. Tons of those stories in the book. A lot of teenager texts too, because I gotta include those. And yeah, it's a fun book. Obviously, they could be a great Father's Day gift because, you know, yeah, dad will get some laughs out of it and maybe he'll. The family will train him a little bit better on how to be less cringy. So it's. Yeah, it's just a fun kind of light read.

[B]

Yeah, we have a copy of it. It's great. It is the perfect Father's Day gift. Give it to the dad you love. Give it to the dad who's, you know, cringy but in the right way.

[C]

And no dads. You don't ever have to stop being cringy, ever, if you don't want to keep doing it.

[B]

Okay. Where can people find you online?

[E]

So you find me on the, you know, the major socials, especially TikTok, Instagram, Facebook. My account's called the Layton Show. L E I g h t o dash n or you go to thelaton show.com and yeah, the book is dad, can you nod? You could pretty much find that anywhere. So, yeah, take a look.

[B]

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[G]

I'm Dr. Susan Swick, a child psychiatrist and the host of Talk About Able. This season I'm talking with parents and experts about how we tackle the everyday challenges of raising kids. We'll get real about those pebble in the shoe issues we all face as parents and how to build resilience and community through our own experiences. Talk About Able Season 2 from Lemonada Media in partnership partnership with Montage Health and their Ohana center for Child and Family Mental Health is out now.

[B]

Hannah, I just Venmo'd you for dinner.

[I]

Obsessed. I'M spending it right now in the lip gloss that's been sitting in my cart.

[B]

What do you mean, spending it right now?

[I]

You can instantly spend your balance with the Venmo debit card. Or when you pay with Venmo at checkout.

[B]

Stop. Say more.

[I]

More. Exactly. The more you do with Venmo, the more you get, like, earning up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash. Get the Venmo debit card or check out online. Venmo Stash Bundle terms and exclusions apply. Max $100 per month. See Terms at Venmo Me Stash Terms. Venmo Checkout not available at all merchants. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N A.

[B]

My heart feels lighter. We just got to hang out with two of the funniest dads on the Internet.

[C]

And they're funny on their own, in a vacuum. But they're funny because they pay att.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Isn't that the common thread between Dave and Chip, that they're just looking around?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's pretty funny out there.

[B]

I do say my favorite part of this weird job we have is that we get to wake up, look around at life, and ask the question, is this funny? So I think we do a bit of that, too. But it's cool to meet other people who do that. And I'm realizing, I mean, our intention with this podcast was to laugh a lot. Shaq did that. But also, I really wanted to get more into their stories about how both of these content creators were on very deep into other paths, including potentially occult. Potentially occult. But they were very deep into other paths. Had lives, had kids, had us. And then pretty much just, you know, took a gamble and started posting things on the Internet. And now that's become their job.

[C]

And they became professional dads.

[J]

Yes.

[C]

Right. And I do think that's a smaller subset of. Maybe I'm missing out. It seems like that's a smaller subset of the population. As opposed to, like, moms.

[B]

Right.

[C]

When it comes to this.

[B]

Probably.

[C]

And maybe because we're not great at talking about our feelings and stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But these guys are. And they're really good at. And maybe we're not good at listening, but these guys are good at listening. They're good at paying attention.

[B]

It is weird in 2026 that doing this is a job. A lot of people reach out to us, ask advice. I try to be helpful. But I saw this stat. I don't actually know if it's true, but that 1 in 3 kids like wants to be a content creator when they wake or wake up.

[C]

When they wake up.

[B]

When they wake up, when they grow up.

[C]

Same thing. When you grow up, you're kind of waking up. So that wouldn't surprise me. I wouldn't be surprised. It was. It was larger, just like talking. It's so funny. Like, our kids may not think that we're cool, but anytime I talk to their friends, they're like, this is what I want to do when I grow up. This looks amazing.

[B]

I've tried to tell my kids, and they. They do not listen to me. So my kids. My kids don't listen to me, but maybe your kids will listen to me.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

No matter what you do, I think we live in a pretty amazing time. You can just do it.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

So if you. If your child wants to be a scientist, you can actually go. You can conduct. Conduct your own research now. You can publish your own research, because you can start a substack. You can become a. You can have a name and a field. Lola joked forever. I want to be a professional cake tester. You could be a professional cake tester now.

[C]

Now more than ever.

[B]

And you can make a name doing it. But you heard them both. They just hit record. They found the thing that the audiences sort of resonated with. My kids don't listen to me, but I've told them, both of them, like, start us up. Our son has sort of start a substack, start a podcast, start an Instagram. You know, if. If you want to become anything, you

[C]

want to do two things.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Number one, did you listen to everything that your mom said?

[B]

I listened to nothing she said.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

And that I'm the worst for it. Mom, I'm so sorry. I should have listened to more.

[C]

I don't know that I did either. I just don't think it's. I think it's part of your DNA when you become an adult to. Or a young adult to at least start rebelling against what it is that they're saying. Because you have to make a life for yourself at some point. And it's a good sign, right, that they're not listening to what you say. It's because they're trying to get out there on their own. Number two, I wrote, and we pulled this out a couple of times. My, like, book when I was a kid, like, when you're four, like, a little bit about yourself. What do you want to be when you grow up? And I said, this was when I was five or six or four. Whatever. I said I wanted to be a professional Pac man player. There are so many professional Pac man players now. That's like 25 million a year streaming. And people watch them play. Not Pac man, but, like, games. So whatever ridiculous thing we think our kids are saying they want to be when they grow up, they're going to shape the future.

[B]

Well, my journalism, first day journalism school, the professor stood up in a big auditorium, and he said, the job you will have has not been invented yet. And I was like, silly man. I want to be a reporter. That's been. But look what I'm doing now. I'm, like, yapping in my attic. I digress. So we have this segment. What have we been calling it? Now?

[C]

We went to Morsels of No, but the chunks of wisdom.

[B]

It was like. It was the Nuggets. It was Pen's Nuggets. And they were hoping for a nugget sponsor. No Nuggets. There's been no chocolate chip cookie or cookie sponsors.

[F]

When you did was Chips Ahoy. Chips of Joy. Yeah, we were trying to add in.

[B]

No, no sponsorships. Just so. What? What? What sponsors.

[C]

I got it. These are your UberEats takeaways. These are your Uber Eats takeaways. What do you take away? It's sponsored by Uber Eats.

[D]

Not yet.

[C]

You guys haven't given us money yet. But then they take it away and they bring it to your house.

[B]

But they could sponsor it.

[C]

Let's go. Uber Eats takeaways. So I'm gonna be in a car or I've got a car around my.

[F]

The whole time you're doing this. You have to go.

[C]

I gotcha. All right, guys, here are your Uber Eats takeaways. Not yet. Sponsored by UberEats. And this is from this podcast what we just hang out on. Taking a sharp right turn.

[B]

If you're listening, Pen is. He's miming driving.

[C]

Here's what we learned today. Number one, cringe isn't really cringe. Cringe is a love language, Kim. This was. This was really your coined phrase, and I agree with it. Whether it's the embarrassing text or the dad joke, it's just all dad saying, I'm showing up, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere, and I love you.

[B]

Even if you want me to go somewhere, I'm not going anywhere.

[C]

Yeah. And deep down, I think that kids find a sense of stability when they know that their dad's always going to be there.

[B]

Penn is taking a big right turn right now.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Okay, keep going.

[C]

Number two, being cringy as a dad is your Gosh darn constitutional right. Lean in, don't opt out, no matter what they do. We know dads. We know. Even though it's a love language, it's also kind of fun. Just like being that unapologetic dad who can be completely cringy and corny.

[B]

He's still driving number three.

[C]

The texts that embarrass your kids today will be the stories they'll tell at your retirement ceremony. They'll say, dad, remember that one time that you did that?

[B]

I don't plan on retiring. I'm gonna be like, get ready with me as I go to hospice.

[C]

So you might have to have a retirement ceremony for me.

[B]

I know we've actually talked about this. This. I think there's going to be a moment, Pens in his, like, 70s, where he's going to be like, maybe I don't want to go on the Internet today. I'm with you guys. I'm in it for the long. It's going to be get ready with me. These are my Depends. These are like. This is the bra. I used to pick my boobs up off my knees. Like, it is just going to be. And then Sam is going to be in her, like, 60s, putting in, like, shopping links in the description.

[C]

Hang on.

[F]

Job security, baby.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. So for the. For the three things next week, we could call them dependable notes or something. I think survive.

[F]

So your face is going to be a diaper. Just clarifying that. That's what you want me to do and pay me to do that for you.

[B]

That's your job. I mean, you went to college.

[C]

Let's see how the car turns out.

[F]

Meanwhile, my knowledge of retirement ceremonies are military related.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

Which I've been to one. My dad retired. They're very formal and.

[B]

And as they deserve, like, they deserve a big deal.

[F]

And my dad, a proud military man, and me sitting here animating my boss's head on some underwear.

[C]

Yep. And. And also, like, you're gonna be so pissed at me because I did. I don't know if you noticed, I did some turns.

[F]

I saw

[B]

she was rolling her eyes the whole time.

[C]

My dad's retirement party.

[B]

That was great.

[C]

Was crazy. Like, the governor came in and gave him like a.

[B]

An award. The order of the longleaf pine.

[C]

Ours is going to be like, just hit stop.

[B]

Unplug them, like.

[C]

And we're done.

[B]

Okay, read the credits.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Laugh Lines is written and produced by Kim Holderness, Pen Holderness and Anne Marie Tapke with original music by Pen Holderness. It is filmed, edited and Live, produced by Sam Allen and hosted by acast. As always, we love to hear from you. Please write to [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at 323-364-3929. We will talk to you soon on Laugh Lines.

[B]

Okay. Love you by

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[B]

Hannah, I just Venmo'd you for dinner.

[I]

Obsessed. I'm spending it right now in the lip gloss that's been sitting in my cart.

[B]

What do you mean spending it right now?

[I]

You can instantly spend your balance with the Venmo debit card or when you pay with Venmo at checkout.

[B]

Stop. Say more.

[I]

More. Exactly. The more you do with Venmo, the more you get. Like earning up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash get the Venmo debit card or checkout online. Venmo Stash Bundle terms and exclusions apply. Max $100 per month. See terms at Venmo Me Stash terms Venmo Checkout not available at all merchants. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A.

[G]

i'm Dr. Susan Swick, a child psychiatrist and the host of Talk About Able. This season I'm talking with parents and experts about how we tackle the everyday challenges of raising kids. We'll get real about those pebble in the shoe issues we all face as parents and how to build resilience and community through our own experiences. Talk aboutable Season two from Lemonada Media in partnership with Montage Health and their Ohana center for Child and Family Mental Health is out now.

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[J]

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They share real tips. And so I started connecting with all these people on LinkedIn and I saw target supplier diversity was having office hours. Real advice.

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