Empty Nest Lessons & Estrogen Shortages

Summary

Laugh Lines with Kim & Penn Holderness

Episode: "Empty Nest Lessons & Estrogen Shortages"
Date: July 21, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Laugh Lines finds Kim and Penn Holderness tackling two major midlife themes: navigating the "empty nest" transition as their daughter Lola completes her first year of college, and Kim’s candid journey into perimenopause—including an all-too-relatable struggle with the ongoing estrogen patch shortage. Packed with personal stories, practical advice, humor, and a nostalgic “The Price Is Right” segment, this episode is both a survival guide and a hearty laugh for anyone aging (somewhat) gracefully.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. "It’s Hot in Here!" – Real-Life Podcasting and First-World Problems

• Kim and Penn, along with producer Sam, record in their (un-air-conditioned) attic, emphasizing the realities of aging and parenting in the South.
• Heat-induced humor permeates the intro, including jokes about layering and swimsuit costume changes.
  • "We're just gonna striptease our way through this podcast." (15:25, Kim)
• Light self-mockery of first-world problems:
  • "We just turned off our only window unit. If you notice an outfit change… that's just what we might do." (05:11, Kim)

2. The “Laugh Line” Philosophy & Embracing Aging

• The show’s purpose: talking about aging with honesty, humor, and camaraderie.
• Reflections on sun precautions, body image, and health changes after 40.
• Kim credits Prozac (for OCD), and admits it makes her overheat more—a side effect learned from TikTok. (06:44, Kim)
• "We are in full long sleeve shirt, bucket hat mode in our lives." (06:20, Penn)

3. Estrogen Patch Shortage: Navigating Menopause in 2026

• Kim reveals diagnosis of postmenopausal-level low estrogen despite still having periods, sharing raw details about exhaustion and itchy skin. (08:15–09:10, Kim)
• Comic take on the estrogen patch shortage—comparing it to the lengths society would go for men’s health:
  • "If estrogen were necessary for men's comfort, we'd put it in the water supply with fluoride." (10:14, Penn)
  • "We'd change the function of our economy to make sure men had patches." (10:27, Kim)
• Hilarious “drug-deal” style parody of trying to acquire estrogen patches from friends. (12:49–13:34)
• Discovery of Mark Cuban’s Cost Plus Pharmacy as an alternative source for hard-to-find medication. (11:46–11:53, Kim)

Notable Quote:

• "I just wish men knew how hard this is for women." (13:27, Kim)

• Additionally, Kim’s testosterone levels are also low; her doctor prescribes a testosterone cream… with a warning: it might give her more energy or make her "mean" and hairy. (14:06–14:45, Kim & Penn)

4. Empty Nest Reflections and Listener Advice Segment

[Listener Call-In: 16:55]

Caller (Kelly from CA):
Asks for Kim's advice for moms about to become empty nesters after listening to the Lola episode.

Kim’s “Top 10” for Empty Nest Parents (17:33–39:55)

1. Allow Yourself to Feel

   • Permit feelings of sadness and grief for the “life that isn’t anymore.”
   • "I wish I had just given myself more grace and allowed myself to feel." (17:54, Kim)

2. Adjust to the ‘Hole in Your Chest’

   • Describes the feeling as a smaller, persistent ache, similar to—though not equated with—grief.
   • "You get used to walking around with a kind of hole in your chest." (18:16, Kim)

3. Name the Hardest Parts

   • For Kim, not being able to easily imagine her daughter's new life/routine was toughest.
   • Meeting her new friends’ parents helped.

4. Host a Party at Parents’ Weekend

   • Invited her daughter's entire dorm and their parents—brings connection, familiarity, and commiseration among parents. (20:49, Kim)

5. Don’t Interview for Pain

   • Gretchen Rubin’s advice: Avoid constant probing questions about the hardest things in your child’s life.
   • "We think we're trying to check on things... but it's way more accurate: ‘interviewing for pain’." (22:51–23:10, Penn)

6. Ask Neutral, Open-Ended Questions

   • Short, unbiased questions spark conversation, closeness, and make the child feel seen without feeling pressured.

7. Remember: Your Kids Are Their Own People

   • A difficult realization for codependent parents.
   • "She wants to do this on her own. She deserves to be able to." (28:13, Kim)

8. Resist The Urge to Fix Everything

   • Letting kids solve their own problems helps them grow.
   • "I suck at this the most." (32:57, Penn)

9. Plan for the Immediate Post-Drop-Off

   • Have something to look forward to, to occupy your mind after dropping your child at college.

10. Care Packages

    • Keep them small, mostly food; sentimental items are often discarded at year's end.

Bonus: "First break is hella awkward."

• Both parent and child evolve quickly after college starts; be patient with the new versions of each. (35:33, Kim)

Notable Quotes

• "Your mood is going to be the worst mood of your child." (40:00, Penn)
• "If you can come to terms with that sooner, you'll do better than I did." (31:03, Kim)

5. Back-to-School (and Life) Tips

Top 3 Practical Tips (42:02–44:09)

1. Don't buy expensive water bottles—they will get lost.
2. Buy extra snacks for after-school hunger and team sharing.
3. Be the parent who drives kids and friends—quietly—because “the car is where you get all the tea.”

• "If you remain quiet… it's like they forget you’re even in the car." (43:44, Penn)
• "Be the parent who drives and stay quiet." (44:26, Kim)

6. Gen Z Roasts: "Father of the Bride" and Gen Z Media Takes

• Kim and Lola watch the original Father of The Bride; Lola immediately points out plot holes and the absurd costs of a 1991 wedding. (48:26–54:44)
• $250/head in 1991 = $615 today!
• Kim is both amused and gently humbled as her beloved teenage favorite movies face revisionist scrutiny.

7. The Price Is Right: 1991 Edition

(55:04–65:00)

• Kim, Penn, and Sam play a 1991 prices trivia game (movie tickets, Happy Meals, gas, Nintendo games, etc.)—bemoaning inflation, laughing about their childhoods, and sweating copiously.
• Notable blurred memory: both assume movie tickets were much more expensive than in '91.
• They enter "rules lawyering" about proper Prices Right methods—classic moment of married competitive banter.

Notable Quote

• "We're half naked playing The Price Is Right. Turn around" (68:55, Kim)

8. In Memoriam: Bonnie Tyler

• Tribute to Bonnie Tyler, whose “Total Eclipse of the Heart” and “I Need a Hero” were significant to Penn and Kim’s relationship.
• Penn, a karaoke devotee, sings her songs “Dan Band style”. (65:58–66:42)
• "Bonnie Tyler is kind of the soundtrack to our relationship." (66:05, Kim)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "If estrogen were necessary for men's... comfort level, we'd put it in the water supply." (10:14, Penn)
• "I just wish men knew how hard this is for women." (13:27, Kim)
• "Your children are their own people. That was shocking to learn." (28:11, Kim)
• "If you can come to terms with that sooner, you'll do better than I did." (31:03, Kim)
• "You have kids who learn how to feel deeply for others… it's fine. Don't feel like you have to fundamentally change your personality." (40:51, Penn)
• "We're half naked playing The Price Is Right. Turn around." (68:55, Kim, during the closing credits and musical tribute)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 05:11 – The realities of attic podcasting without AC, and swimsuit humor.
• 08:15–09:10 – Kim on low estrogen and menopausal symptoms.
• 12:49–13:34 – Estrogen patch “drug deal” sketch.
• 16:55 – Laugh Line starts: Listener call-in about empty nest parenting.
• 17:33–39:55 – Kim's Top 10 empty nest tips and discussion with Penn.
• 42:02–44:09 – Holdernesses’ Top 3 back-to-school parenting hacks.
• 48:26–54:44 – Kim and Lola's multigenerational Father of the Bride review.
• 55:04–65:00 – 1991 “Price Is Right” nostalgia game segment.
• 65:58–66:42 – Bonnie Tyler tribute.

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Engaging Takeaways

• Normalize the Struggle: Kim’s menopause and empty nest stories are both informative and funny—reassuring others they’re not alone.
• Practical Wisdom with Levity: From specific college parent hacks to broader life lessons, the advice is interspersed with banter and real-life anecdotes.
• Benefit of Multigenerational Perspective: The Gen Z takedown of beloved movies is both humbling and hilarious, showing how pop culture gets reframed with time.
• Community is Key: Whether finding estrogen patches via text chains or building support by meeting other parents, the Holderness approach always circles back to connection—and, of course, laughter.

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For Listeners Skimming for Key Info

• Struggling with hormones? Mark Cuban’s Cost Plus Pharmacy might save the day.
• About to become an empty nester? Feel those feelings, meet other parents, don’t “interview for pain”, and plan a little fun for yourself.
• Nostalgic for the ’90s? Your memory of school lunch prices is probably wrong, and Father of the Bride’s budget is now even more ridiculous!
• Song to sing if you need to belt it all out? Penn recommends “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

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(Summary maintains the original tone and wit of Kim & Penn Holderness, blending humor and poignancy throughout.)

Transcript

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[A]

You're wrong. It is only 15 years ago. Okay, 1991 was only 15 years ago. I think the advice I would give myself is, chill out. We're half naked playing the press is right. Turn around.

[B]

Yeah, we get older every day. Got more wrinkles. That's okay. Yeah, we're laughing. When we age, life is like a comedy stage. And that's why we got deaf lines.

[A]

Hey, everybody. Welcome to Laugh Lines.

[B]

Guys, we're in a huge rush. That's Kim Holderness. I'm Penhold.

[A]

We're not going to rush things, though. We're not going to rush things.

[B]

We're going to try not to. This is Laugh Lines welcome. If you've ever spent hours on your dad's computer printing out a happy birthday banner on print Shop, you're in the right place.

[A]

Or if your printer paper used to have that one long piece that you would rip apart by so satisfying with

[B]

the little lines on the side because you had to rip the lines off, too.

[A]

Those were the days.

[B]

Full disclosure, our air conditioning is out

[A]

again for the fifth time. Seventh.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

We got a new system last. These are first world problems. Listen, we're lucky to have ac. Yeah, that works sometimes. Right?

[B]

But we just turned off. We have this, like, window unit that cools off our attic. We're in the attic in the south, so it's going to get hot quick. So if you notice an outfit change,

[A]

that's just what we just might. If you're watching the YouTube version, we've decided we're not going to rush ourselves, but we will put on bathing suits. So there might be a moment, some point, at some point where we're pens in my bikini.

[B]

That wasn't what they were hoping for, by the way.

[A]

I. We went to the beach last week. I will say I treated myself to a new bathing suit. I get a new bathing suit like once a year.

[B]

It's already hot up here. Stop.

[A]

I know you're gonna. I know. So I got this really cute bikini. I was super feeling myself. But then immediately I put on a long sleeved hoodie sun shirt. I think you got a picture of me at some point.

[B]

I hope so, because you look like the Unabomber.

[A]

And then I'm under a sunshade at all times.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Penn pointed out he's like, you liking that new bathing suit that no one can see. But I knew on the inside, underneath my 47, I felt sexy. And Lola said today, she goes, you look kind of tan. I was like, that's not on purpose. This skin. I spend too much money on Botox to expose this skin without tons of protection.

[B]

We are in full long sleeve shirt, bucket hat mode in our lives. I think that's just where. Especially like this deep into summer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, once we get into, like November, if it's like, you know, bright outside, we'll go do that for 15 minutes that it's bright.

[A]

But I will say something else I've learned, and I learned this on the Internet. I was about to tell you. I read an article about it, but really, I saw it.

[B]

You saw it on TikTok.

[A]

I'm on an SSRI. I'm on a little 10 milligrams of Prozac for my OCD. And that can cause a heat sensitivity. Like, I just. I found myself getting overheated and I. Worth it. Worth the. Worth the 10 milligrams of Prozac I suck down every morning. But I have never been so hot this summer.

[B]

I've noticed.

[A]

And now we don't have AC and

[B]

we have no air conditioning. We've got Sam with us. Who? Sam's on my end of the spectrum when it comes to temperature. Like, we like it a lot colder than others. So we're going to check in with Sam every once in a while.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So far.

[A]

No, it might be unsafe working.

[B]

She's gritting her teeth already. And how many minutes are we into this?

[C]

Well, I will say I generally already sweat at the start of a podcast because I'm, like, running to get everything started, right? And then I, like, cool down, and it's like, I'm not feeling the cool down. Actually, you know what? Let's do this. My hydration.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's not hydrated.

[A]

Is there a better sound. Oh. Than a crispy Coke Zero? Oh. How's that?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's get onto the show.

[A]

Okay. We call this show Laugh Lines because we have an actual phone that you can call called the Laugh Line, but also because we have these adorable little laugh lines because we've lived so much life. And so the intention of the show was to talk about aging. And isn't it fun? No, seriously, we're excited to age. Like, we. Not everybody gets to do it. Like, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like everything else, we're leaning in.

[A]

We're just.

[B]

And we're having the most fun we possibly can with it.

[A]

But I think we maybe need a new segment on this podcast called tmi because I'm about to tell you too much information about myself. Tmi. I had been on the struggle bus lately, more than usual. And you've already heard that I'm being medicated. So more than usual. Struggle bus, Crazy, tired, fatigue. Like, needing a nap every day. My skin felt like there were bugs underneath. I was itching like crazy. I would wake up in the middle of the night to. I bought a bucket of lotion that looked like those, you know, like when you had paste. Remember the pace, it was that thick. And I was smearing it on my skin. Nothing. Just miserable. So I got blood work done, and it turns out my estrogen level is that of a post menopausal woman. Oh, sadly, I'm not postmenopausal. I am still very much in the. Having a period time per life.

[B]

Wait, so what does that. What does that mean? What do you do? What do you.

[A]

Great question. I called my doctor and said, you have to fix me. She's great. So she prescribed an estrogen patch. And I'm so excited because I've heard so much about the patch from, like, my big menopausal sisters out there.

[B]

Like the pause posse.

[A]

The pause posse.

[B]

Yeah. You guys are. I. I You guys get into conversations and I'm like, I'm there for whatever you need me for. And then if you need me to, yeah, dinner ready. I can do that.

[A]

And they all show me with great pride their patch that's stuck onto their bellies. And I'm so jealous of their estrogen. So I finally get prescribed this, and my doctor, so sweet lover, very knowledgeable woman, says, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but there's an estrogen patch shortage.

[B]

There is, of course.

[A]

Of course there is. Of course.

[B]

This is one thing I've, like, I've learned a lot of things about menopause in the last two years. The one thing I've learned is that, that just anytime you expect to get some sort of health care for it, you're disappointed. Very, very frequently. Right?

[A]

Very frequently. And. And you were the one that pointed this out. If estrogen were necessary for men's sort of mental health and, and just comfort

[B]

level, we put it in the water supply. Or it would be. It would be in there with fluoride.

[A]

It would be in there with fluoride. Or you know how in World War II where they shut down every factory that was making, like, widgets or something, it would be like, no more lucky terms. This cereal factory is actually now making estrogen patches. Like, we would, we would just. We would change the function of our economy to make sure men had estrogen patches.

[B]

There's a great, great line from idiocracy. Just another reason why idiocracy is just bang on about everything where, like, the medical community had completely stagnated because everyone was spending money on erectile dysfunction.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you know how many different ways yeah.

[A]

There are?

[B]

You can get an erection right now,

[A]

but giving a woman an estrogen patch is just like a bridge too far. So I immediately get on a text string with all my girls and I say, wtf? Why the face? And immediately they're like, hey, what's your prescription? Estradiol. I got 1%. She's like, okay, I have enough to get me through the end of the month if you need to come by and get a week's patch. And then we were. They were workshopping it for me. And finally my doctor, she found Mark Cuban. This is like, not answered. I, He. I read about this, but he started. It's like cost plus pharmacy or something like that. I'm not sponsored.

[B]

Isn't it a provider that basically takes out the necessity to have health insurance?

[A]

Unclear what it is, but they had it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't think it's that much more. They didn't take my particular insurance, but I think they do take insurance. But they had it. And at that point I would have given a lot of money for it, but I don't think it was that much more than what would have been for insurance. And it's like on auto ship and they have it. I don't have my estrogen yet, friends, but it is coming tomorrow by 10:00pm

[B]

all right, and so from there to here, because you guys are actually like, watching how we make content. Because she's telling me this. And as she's telling me this, she realizes that she sounds like she's trying to like, go into a back alley.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And find like illegal drugs. Because that's what it felt like talking to your friends.

[A]

Because I'm like, wait, am I allowed to take your patches? It felt dirty, you know?

[B]

And so within five minutes you had a script in my inbox of us like doing a drug deal for estrogen patches in a back alley. We should probably play that right now.

[A]

I need the good stuff.

[B]

How'd you hear about me?

[A]

That Facebook group, the perimenopause one.

[B]

What are you looking for?

[A]

Patches. 0.1 milligrams twice a week.

[B]

All right, be cool. I got the Vivel dot, got the Chimera, got the generic for a price.

[A]

Do you have the estradiol 0.1 or not? This real?

[B]

Straight from the compounding pharmacy lady drove it here herself.

[A]

I've been to six pharmacies.

[B]

Please. They've been out since March. You want the good stuff, you gotta pay.

[A]

I got cash.

[B]

No one uses that anymore. What else you got?

[A]

A Costco membership, executive membership. And my, my shelf platinum fuel points.

[B]

And.

[A]

And I got 17 bucks left on the Chipotle gift card.

[B]

Okay, deal.

[A]

I just wish men knew how hard this is for women.

[B]

Lady, if this was a man's problem, they'd put estrogen in the water supply. See ya. Son's got a T ball game.

[A]

Estrogen in the water supply. That'd be amazing. Never have a hot flash again. Real life is how we create content. I mean, we sort of look around and it did feel really funny that I, as a 50 year old was like heading to the. The mean streets of Raleigh to try to find estrogen patches.

[B]

A nice, A nice touch when if you watched it on YouTube, she's like scratching herself. Like kind of like someone who needs a fix. Which also is a common menopause symptoms. Menopausal symptoms. So you really did look like you Were.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that because, like, the lack of estrogen, it, like, dries your skin out in a possible way. So. But I will say, and I have not even told you this, my doctor prescribed. Also, my testosterone was very low, so I got a testosterone cream, like a lotion. And so that came in the mail. So I took my first little. So you put it, like, two clicks and you do it on perfume, a hairless area.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I was like, why hairless? And I think it's because it'll make you very hairy.

[B]

Oh, it provides.

[A]

I think you're going to have these

[B]

two, like, Teen Wolf patches on your. On your wrist after this.

[A]

And again, I love my doctor so much. She's so great. And she's like, I think this will give you some more energy. I think, like, all the benefits of testosterone, she's like, it might make you mean. I'm like, girl, I'm already kind of mean. You should have heard me talking to the AC guys.

[B]

Yeah. The air conditioning thing has brought out Kimberly.

[A]

There's Kimberly.

[B]

Yeah, there's Kim. And then Kimberly.

[A]

He stopped talking to me this morning.

[B]

Yeah. He had to move on to.

[A]

I did accuse him of criminal negligence leaving our home.

[B]

Well, that'll do it. That'll do it. That will do it. Okay, so real quick, let's do a temperature check. It started at 73. We're up 3 degrees since the podcast.

[A]

We're not gonna rush this. We are just gonna striptease our way through this podcast.

[B]

Is this a good time for a costume change or should we hold up?

[A]

I think I. You know what? I am wearing layers, so.

[B]

You are. Okay, hang on. My shirt's a little long, so I'll be right back.

[A]

I'm just gonna.

[C]

We are gonna have the biggest YouTube numbers on just this episode.

[A]

Okay, we're back. We have. We're just have slightly fewer clothes. Clothes on for the YouTube version. We'll leave it to your imagination on audio. So as for testosterone, after about a month or so, we'll see if I'm. If I have more energy. But I'm mean, I might still take it. I don't know. But we'll report back and maybe viewers at home can write in if they notice. I'm getting really hairy.

[B]

Yeah. We'll get plenty of calls, emails, voicemails about this patch, because since you brought it up, I feel like I've heard. Maybe because my phone heard you talk about it. Yeah, I've. I've. It's become part of my consciousness, so Looking forward to it. I know. Like, you know, we want to get your levels up because, like, Kim and I are on a journey right now to get our blood and levels in a place where, like, that's a big piece of the puzzle and that's going to help us live.

[A]

Yeah. There's so much evidence.

[B]

And have a good life.

[A]

And have a good life. And that's all we want. As I'm saying this, my ears are itching because itchy ears are a thing, too. Anyway, let's go to the Laugh Line.

[B]

It's the part of the show where everyone will find Laugh Line.

[A]

Hi, this is Kelly from California, and I just love the podcast with Lola. Talking about her experience at college. I was curious about Tim's advice having this year in the rear view mirror. I have a kiddo headed to college in the fall. What recommendations or advice you'd have for a mom who's about to go through what she went through a year ago. Oh, Kelly. Oh, Kelly. Thank you. First of all, thank you so much for calling. I loved that episode. I have to say, sometimes I hate, like, re watching or re listening because I don't love the sound of my own voice, but I actually watched that episode just to watch Lola. Just to watch Lola. And I'm just so proud of her.

[B]

She presented herself super well.

[A]

I was very proud of her. So, Kelly, I got your voicemail, and out of. Off the top of my head, I just started writing, and I have so much advice. But this was. This came very easily, just the top of my head. And I have 10 things that came very quickly. First, allow yourself to feel your feelings. Penn and I handled it very differently. We both mourned in our own different ways, but the way your life was isn't anymore, and it's okay to feel sad about that. I was trying to shame myself into feeling happy all the time. Like, oh, I should feel happy. I should feel happy. I wish I had just given myself a little more grace and allowed myself to really just feel the feelings. So what you're feeling is valid. Everybody's different. Second, I said in that podcast with Lola, oh, you kind of get used to it. What I should have said is you get used to walking around with a kind of just like a hole in your chest. And I would never, ever compare it to the grief of losing someone. I don't want to do that because there is so much to celebrate. But what I've heard people, family, and friends talk about grief is that heartache never goes away, but you just learn how to walk around with it. And on a much smaller scale, that's what I will say about, like, living life without your kid at home. Did you feel like that?

[B]

I felt like I had a hole in my chest the minute that she left. And I, like, I think it's still there, but it's like, it's. It's smaller.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, and, and, and she helped make it smaller by keeping in touch with us so much, which not everybody does. But that was really nice. Like, I honestly felt that I talked to her more her first year in college than I did when living here because of how hard she was working. And like, your senior year in college, you're doing so much stuff.

[A]

Senior in high school. Yeah.

[B]

Excuse me. Senior year in high school. So for me, I just think she helped mitigate it a lot too.

[A]

I think it helped me to name what was so hard about it. And I think one of the things that was so hard was that I didn't have a foundation in which to imagine her day to day in high school. Like, you go to the back, you know, the back to school night, so, you know, the hallways, you can picture the teachers, you can picture where she sits. I'd known all her friends for years. I knew all the parents for years. So I could sort of imagine what her day looked like. I didn't have a face to put with these friends names. So once I realized, like, okay, this is just her life and I'm not gonna know it, I don't know why, just accepting that became easier.

[B]

But then that also, like, number four really helped you with that too.

[A]

So number four, this was advice that was given to us is on parents weekend. Every school has a parents weekend. We were given the advice to host a party. We rented an Airbnb, a VRBO near the campus. And we told Lola to invite everyone on our dorm floor, every friend. She'd made boys, girls, because she was in a co ed dorm floor, which that was shocking to me. And invite their parents if they were in town. And I think we had like 20 kids and their parents.

[B]

Yes. And they stayed way longer. Some of them canceled their dinner plans.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We thought it was gonna go to dinner.

[A]

Cocktail hour, five to seven. Before you. I mean, I'm sure I just thought they had to have dinner plans. Stop by anytime, say hi. And what happened was I got to put faces with the names of her new friends. And it was so lovely to meet the parents of these kids.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And learn that they were in just as much misery as I was. And so to be able to commiserate, you know, about this experience.

[B]

And we've stayed in touch, like, with some of the parents, even some of the parents who, like, they may not. Lola may not be as friendly, like, not there. She's friendly with all of them. But that, like, it builds sort of a set of parents who are all just as lost as you are after one month in college. I had a great time at that. It's so funny. I'm such an extrovert. I remember we rented that same Airbnb when we dropped her off, and I was like, maybe we should all make, like, why don't the parents all come commiserate, like, you know, once they drop their kids off. We didn't do that. Thank God.

[A]

Thank God.

[B]

Don't do that. You are going to want to sprawl out, collapse, have food delivered to you and cry.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Or whatever it is, or drive home, whatever it is that you do in silence, because that's a tough time to do it.

[A]

But.

[B]

But I could not agree. Number four is my favorite one of yours so far.

[A]

And again, that was given to me by, like, your cousin's wife. And we, we rented that Airbnb. But I don't think you need to do that. I think you could just pick a local restaurant, just get everyone there, meet at the bar or, or something like that. It doesn't have to be as. It doesn't have to be as formal as I made it. But again, it was like, I got platters of cheese from Whole Foods and I bought a few bottles of wine. It wasn't fancy at all. Number five, Gretchen Rubin gave this really good advice, which was don't interview for pain. And holy moly, I did not realize that just through general parenting, I wouldn't do it all the time, but it would be like, how did that test turn out? I know you were nervous about that. Or, oh, did you catch up with what's her name, who was saying this stuff about. I mean, those are made up examples.

[B]

But hearing the term, when she said it to me, something clicked in my mind because that's not what we think we're doing. We don't think we're interviewing for pain. We think we're trying to, like, check on things that are bothering her and see if they've gotten better or see if they want to talk about it. But it's a way more accurate description, interviewing for pain.

[A]

And that was hard. And I probably need another call with Gretchen to really flesh this out is that I didn't want to interview for pain. But I still wanted to know what was happening. So if there was a situation with a boy and there had been some, you know, maybe not great, you know, she wasn't super happy about it on a Wednesday. When we talked on Thursday, that's sort of all I wanted to ask about.

[B]

I know another thing that I noticed you did. I don't know if you did that on purpose, but when you made that sort of list of questions. Is that on? Am I stealing this? Okay, so I should add that. Yeah. Well, I'm going to say it right now. So Kim, this is part of this, right? Kim makes a list of questions that she writes down. I had them in my head as well. But not only did Lola love that you came with questions, she loved the fact that you were so curious about her. But you did something that I learned when I took, like, a professional journalism class at ESPN with this, like, guy who trains Barbara Walters and everybody else on the planet. He. He said that keep your questions neutral and short. Right? Like, don't. Don't insert your opinions. Don't insert any facts. Stick to eight or nine words and keep it very neutral in the middle and give them the chance to either go. And the happy, the sad, the scared, the whatever it is, like, give them a chance to do that. And you did a great job when you asked those questions, of remaining neutral in your questions.

[A]

I. My intention was to interview her as a curious journalist. So thank you for noticing. And she loved it so much that when we went one time and took her friends out and we took eight or nine of her friends out to dinner, she said, mom, did you come with questions? And I was like, yes. And I didn't. So I was sitting there in my notes app writing questions. But they are, you know, one of them was, you know, who do you call when you're having a bad day? What is something you're extremely proud of? These very simple questions. And I was surprised how much she loved those.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And yes. So because it wasn't like, who are you dating? How'd that test go? It wasn't like, it wasn't about her day to day. It was about life in general. So that actually, I think, brought us closer.

[B]

Yeah. You look confused. No, absolutely did.

[A]

Okay. Thanks for adding that. Something I learned. This was a huge shock to me to learn this. More on this after these words.

[B]

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We only have two more years of this and I'm not really sure if I'm gonna miss it.

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[A]

that's join M I-I.com this was a huge shock to me to learn this. Yeah, your children are their own people.

[B]

They sure are.

[A]

That was shocking to learn. I have to still remind myself that she wants to do this on her own. She deserves to be able to do this on her own. She wants to build a life for herself. And so as. As with my son. And that's what's supposed to happen. What time she goes to bed or wakes up or the classes she chooses or what her major is. It's not really my business. This is her own life. And I think it is still hard to remind myself that it's her life. This is her life, her health, her decision. And for a really codependent person like me, that was very hard to learn. And I think the sooner you can really settle that within yourself, the better the transition is going to be.

[B]

I've been observing this. Yes, right. I think there's something about mother, daughter where it's difficult to make that transition to. And the term you used was. What was the term you used to describe yourself just a second ago?

[A]

Codependent.

[B]

Codependent.

[A]

You're so cute that you didn't want to repeat it.

[B]

It worked out better with you saying it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

See how I did that, guys?

[A]

That is expert marriage.

[B]

That is. That is high level husbanding. Right now. I do think that it's like there's something very special about the bond between a mother and their daughter. And realizing that they're their own person has to involve with it a certain amount of letting go. And because that's very hard to do when you have that bond of mother and daughter, this number six is the biggest source of friction of any of the top 10 things. And I'm not just talking about you. I was at a funeral yesterday, lovely, beautiful funeral of the most amazing aunt anyone has ever had. And. But there was all these moms and who I talked to who, like, some of them were cousins, some of them were friends who I remember from college. And to a person, they were talking about their, their daughter, you know, in their first two years of college. Same thing. Like, boy, I'm having a rough time right now with this. And it's because this person is transitioning from your daughter to your roommate, which is basically that entirely different person. Kelly, there's going to be some things that tick you off because it's going to seem hypocritical that this person wants to be their own person and have autonomy. But they're living under your roof over the summer. Yeah, over the summer. And they're living on your dime. So that makes it difficult. Right. But that's something that you just have to do. There's not, there's not the amount of. For most People the amount of, like, money and job security that allows them just to get an apartment when they come home from college. So, anyway, that's. I. That has been the biggest source of friction that I've noticed. And I'm here to tell you it is not only natural, I think it happens to a lot of people. And it's also very lovely to see, like, how strong your bond is. And that's the only reason there's that friction.

[A]

Thank you for explaining that better than I could.

[B]

I didn't mean to. I hope I wasn't.

[A]

Explained it better than I could, but. And it's one of those things that in my. My analytical brain, I know that she's her own person. Duh. I mean, she's six inches taller than me. She's more athletic. I mean, she's a better version of me in every single way. Of course she's her own person. But in my monkey brain, I'm like, no, she's mine. I need to keep her safe. I need to keep her doing exactly what I did, you know? Anyway, if you can come to terms with that sooner, you'll do better than I did. This goes into number seven, which is resist the urge to fix everything. This stands for what I'm parenting currently with my son, too. And if. If I could do it all over again, I think in general and parenting, I. I rushed into fix stuff. But she called us pretty upset her first week because there's some sort of, like, I don't even know the name of it, but the computer program you have to sign into to submit assignments. She got locked out of it or something, and she couldn't submit her assignment. So when she checked her grade, she had a zero in a class or something like that. She was freaking out. But no, she's like, I know it'll be fine. It's a small class. I know the professor. He knows I did it. I know it'll be fine. But she had to run to, like, three places across the campus to get technical help. And I was sitting there Google searching fixes, and she's like, mom, stop it. I got it. I was like, what am I doing? She's in another state. What I'm offering is not helpful. She just wants to venture. So I learned very quickly to. When she called with something like that, saying, I have a zero in this class, and I have to go to three different appointments to get this tech thing fixed, I. Wow, that sucks. That really sucks. Tell me more like, I know you'd rather be doing something else, but Kelly.

[B]

I know Kelly asked Kim for her.

[A]

No, but you have to tell me.

[B]

But this is the one I suck at the most.

[A]

You suck more than I do.

[B]

Yes. Yeah. And I know, like, I'm good at it with you because you let me struggle. Well, no, because you don't want me to fix things. You want me to. Unless you specifically say, I need you to go fix something.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like it's, it's not my job to fix things or to be the hero. It's my job to be your hype person and to be the audience of your story. And it's harder than I thought it would be for a daughter who's left to not want to immediately, like send a bunch of stuff on Amazon. When I hear that, like she didn't make it into a club, like, I'm going to talk to somebody. Like, no, that's not, not, that's not my job. But I, it like I think I've gotten better at. But boy, did I suck at this to start to the point that she actually would say to me, like, dad, I don't want you to fix it. I want you to listen to me, basically, is what she said. And so, yes, sucking at this is a sign of love.

[A]

Number eight, have a plan for the time when you are returning from the drop off. So even if it's not right away,

[B]

like when you get back here.

[A]

Right when you get back home.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Okay, so. Or when you're leaving. So we had some friends that dropped off their baby and they were about to be empty nesters and they left straight from drop off to go to the airport to go take a trip. We came back, obviously we still got PC here. He came back with us. But I, you know, I think a week or two later we had a fun weekend planned. Like we had something that didn't involve her. I think we were going to the beach in a couple weeks after for Labor Day or something. So we had something to look for forward to that was not college related. And it was something. But I think having kind of eyes on the prize of that to keep me busy, like that helped me send care packages. She mentioned it several times. At some point I thought like, does she even, you know, it was, it was snacks. I would send, you know, a cute T shirt I found in the Target, you know, racks and it was themed. I did a theme like a Gilmore Girls fall thing. I found a Gilmore Girls coffee cup and small. But she has mentioned several times this summer that she really liked those. She really liked no one's ever been

[B]

like, dang it, I got a care package for my mom again, by the way. I don't know how she fit anything additional into her room. So maybe that's like, another piece of advice to Kelly. Like Lola said it last week, but tell the kids, the less you pack, the more room there'll be for, like, care packages.

[A]

At the end, when we. We just went into her room and we were just ruthless throwing things out. I did throw out, like, most of the stuff I bought her for the care package. That's what my problem is. It, like, created some waste. But so I think I don't have

[B]

to be a giant care package.

[A]

I think I should just should have stuck with food. I did buy her a water bottle. With a water bottle, like sponge cleaner and, you know, dish soap and stuff, which was hysterical because the only. Only sink that would get hot water would be there, would be the bathroom. But you don't want to wash your dishes in your sink or downstairs. So basically, she just never washed her water bottle. And that's disgusting. And finally, unless you have more, I will say, kelly, your kiddo is going to change. You will change. The first break is going to be hella awkward. You're going to be a new version of yourself. They are going to be a new version of themselves. Be patient. It'll all work out. It'll all be fine. But you change. I've changed. And I was. I knew she would change. I was unprepared how I would change. And a lot of that came because I had to find something to do. I spent so much of my life following her around to activities and tennis tournaments and things, so that when she left, I had a huge space on my calendar in the evenings.

[B]

Well, here's the thing, Kelly. Rule number 11 is if you're looking for something to do, just be overbearingly smothering to your younger child. Cause we both did that.

[A]

Well, we both did that. But also, he's. He is in sports that don't require as much attention.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know how to explain that.

[B]

They don't require as much putting back together. Like, the psychological toll of playing tennis and then the amount of practicing that you have to do.

[A]

I think she just practiced way more than he ever.

[B]

It was a little both. Like. Like, tennis is rough, man. Tennis is rough on the most physically, mentally strong people on the planet.

[A]

Yeah. This last year has just been such a big transition for our family, and it's really made me reflect on things I would do all over again. Just if I got to hit the restart button. So looking at the rear view of my parenting in general, I think the advice I would give myself is chill out. Let them become what they're supposed to become. Get out of the way, enjoy the ride. Because I, I regret how stressed I was and am over my kids. I'm not going to say success, happiness over their. Just general happiness. And I, and I don't know. Well, will I struggle with this forever?

[B]

Well, you've. This has come out of your mouth before.

[A]

I know, I know.

[B]

And it's fine. Like, here's, here's my take on this. You have said on this podcast we could probably do a super mix, although there would be a lot of work where you've said, man, I really wish I wasn't so, like, wasn't overbearing. Well, just like, so over invested maybe, is what it was or wasn't able just to kind of relax and enjoy the ride. You've said that probably once a month. And we've been doing this for seven years, so I've heard this a lot. And it's, it's not to say that, like, you're not doing it right. It's to say, this is the person that you are and it's not necessarily a bad thing that you care so much that sometimes it causes you stress and keeps you from being able to relax and enjoy it. You're going to figure that out on your time. Right. And it might just, like, it might just migrate to another thing because you have the type of mind and heart that cares so deeply for other people. It's very hard for you to just chill out. It's fun watching you try and, like, become like, yeah, it's fine. And like, I'm like, watching you do it. I'm like, okay, she cares. She cares. She still cares.

[A]

I don't think cares is the right word because I'm not a more evolved parent who is deeply involved with their kids life. Still cares. But they can switch the, you know, switch the flip, flip the switch.

[B]

They can switch that flip, flip the

[A]

switch of, oh, they're having a really bad day. I'm not going to let it ruin my day. But I can still care a lot and really feel for them, but I'm still not going to let that ruin my day if my kid has a bad day.

[B]

You have a wife. Yeah.

[A]

And that is not. That's, that's codependency.

[B]

You're never gonna, that's, that's never going to leave your DNA. It's Never going to leave mine either. Like, you've heard it before. Your. Your worst day is going to be like, your baseline mood is going to be the worst mood of your child,

[A]

of whatever child is.

[B]

Like, whatever child is in. Is having the worst time. Like, your mood is going to be brought down to that child.

[A]

But that's not. That's what I'm trying to tell you that the books I read and the therapists I've talked to have told me that that's not the goal.

[B]

I'm not saying it's the goal. I'm saying that's just what.

[A]

But that's not what's supposed to happen.

[B]

You're a deeply feeling parent. I know that's. That's what you are. And it. But it carries with it some, like, positive repercussions when you act that way. You have kids who learn how to feel deeply for others. You know, like, you don't want. You don't want to be so openly stressed that you're stressing other people out.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But I mean, like, we all know you. Yeah. We don't. We're not.

[C]

Like, you're.

[B]

You're not perfect. It's fine. Don't. Don't feel like you have to fundamentally change your personality. All right? We're talking about sending kids off to school. And, you know, listen, we know a lot of parents out there there that are about to be in back to school mode. We are almost there. So this segment, by the way, is sponsored by Ollie, your wellness partner for Back to School and beyond. By the way, we love Ollie. Yes, Kim, I've seen it many, many times in our pantry.

[A]

Yeah. You just open up the door and you see basically a shelf there because we're all taking something Ollie makes. I'm not gonna lie. Every time I try a wellness routine, I'm convinced this one is going to become my personality.

[B]

Fundamentally change your personality.

[A]

I'm going to change from the inside out. And we've both tried new things and failed to stick with them.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, for example, we're about to talk about this on the podcast. Like, I've worked out so hard that, like, that was wrong. Like, there's. It's really hard to get. You really are threading the needle when you try to get to whatever the regime is, and so you end up veering off into a million different directions.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But now, Kim, we know better. We're going to keep things simple, especially during busy seasons like back to School.

[A]

So, you know, we love a list. Here are our top three Back to school tips as parents who have been through it.

[B]

All right, number one, how many. I don't know how many times we've done this. Do not buy the expensive water bottle. It is going to be lost within, what, two weeks?

[A]

Oh, that's generous.

[B]

Yeah. Like, they're like, it's going to become part of the graveyard of water bottles that you have at every single school. And either someone's going to take it or it's going to get mistaken by someone else and you're going to have to buy another one. So stick with the cheapos.

[A]

I even. I bought the cheapos and I put his name all over the cheapos. Still gone.

[B]

You can cross out names.

[A]

Okay. Buy the extra snacks. They're gonna eat them. Especially when they come home hungry from sports. You're gonna say, like, do I need the extra bag of such and such. Yes, you do. And I always put extra snacks in his sports bag. The one he, you know, where he changes after school and he ends up sharing with friends. So you could be the. You can have the kid that shares snacks.

[B]

You can be the cool kid. And also they just eat so much more than you realize. You know how many calories you burn not only doing school and walking from class to class and going through, like, whatever your campus is, but also whatever sports they're doing and whatever tomfoolery they're doing with their friends. Like, the amount of calories that school grade, like, grade level kids burn is ridiculous.

[A]

It's ridiculous. It just makes me hungry thinking about it. Okay. As the parent who has two kids with their licenses still to this day, I offer to drive them because, number three, be the parent that drives their kids and the friends, because this is where you get all the tea.

[B]

I mean, if, if you, if you remain quiet.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You're like. And I learned this too. If you're the dad who's like, trying to crack jokes all the time, then they're not going to want to talk. If you just lay out, maybe tee them up on something like, hey, I was gym class. Like, maybe there's something going on in gym class. And then they'll start chirping and they'll. Yeah, there'll be something that somebody did. I can't believe that she said this to her or he said this to him. And then just. It's like they forget you forget you're in the car.

[A]

They. And our kids will still allow us to drive them places because, let's face it, nobody. I mean, come on, like, they love

[B]

to be passengers Passenger princesses.

[A]

Yeah. And that is where you get all the best information. So just be the parent who drives and stay quiet.

[B]

Yeah. And then like don't react big time. Don't go, oh my gosh.

[A]

When they say no reaction.

[B]

You can, that's, that's for bedtime with, with mom. When you guys are like, you know, when everyone's asleep. You can talk about it then. Anyway, thanks again to Ollie for sponsoring this segment. Ollie delivers simple, effective, science backed, multi benefit solutions for the whole family. Making wellness delightful and easy with taste. And one less thing to worry about

[A]

this back to school season. Stock up on the number one gummy supplement [e-mail] or a retailer near you. Should we do a temperature check?

[C]

We are at 80 degrees.

[B]

I'm feeling it. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. It's outfit change number three. I'm just taking clothes off at this point.

[B]

Um, yeah, you're like, you have more layers than me. I had to go get my, my Anthony Edwards jersey cause it was the first one I could find. It is hot. Guys, we're in the 80s up here now and there is zero circulation.

[A]

It's okay. It's okay. More on this after these words.

[B]

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I can confirm Penn lives in his pack a hoodie.

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[A]

Guess what Lola and I did the other night? We watched the original Father of the Bride with Steve Martin.

[B]

Such a good movie. Okay, you have to say original now because they've done a reboot, right? Or like a sequel of something.

[A]

They did a Father of the Bride, too, and I think they did some sort of sequel that of course I watched. Yeah, that movie came out in 1991, and then I think in 1992 I got it on VHS. I was in high school at the time. I watched that movie as much as I watched Dirty Dancing, and I didn't even realize I had entire scenes memorized, because when it would play, I would just start reciting the words. I had seen it that many times as a high school girl, you know, looking at dreamy wedding pictures. I don't know why, but that was such a part of my high school experience. I mean, the Father the Bride. Just the house she was in, and just like, the family was so iconic. And I just loved every part of that movie. I watched it with Lola, and I cannot tell you how she has opened my eyes to how problematic that movie is. Problematic. Strong. Okay, that is not the right word. I still love this movie.

[B]

Okay, so it still holds up, but there are some things. All right, before you get to that, I want to say it's interesting. Something I thought about Father of the Bride. I did watch it, but I watched

[A]

it once as Wanda, as a normal

[B]

person, and it was great. But. But any guy you ask about, like, what's the first thing you think of when you think about Steve Martin and Martin short, they say three amigos, which I have watched 900 times. Every time you ask a girl what they think of Steve Martin and Martin Short, they say, father the Bride and Frank. Am I getting that right?

[A]

That's about right.

[B]

So it isn't like, that's an interesting. Not everyone, but kind of a bit of a gender gap. But it's. This is going to be fun for me because I really have only watched it once. I'd love to know. Like, you'll have to take me down memory lane.

[A]

So she's. She also knows Steve Martin and Martin Short from Only Murders in the Building. So she was like, oh, the guy's from Only Murders in the Building.

[B]

That's what she knows it from. Okay.

[A]

So she has the remote in her hand. Annie comes home from studying abroad, and she, within a few minutes, tells her parents, I fell in love. I'm engaged. Lola hits pause. She says, so you're telling me she studied abroad for months and she didn't even tell her parents she was dating somebody? She was like, they've set this up as if they are very close. They're. They have a very close relationship that she and Steve Martin's character have this very close father, you know, daughter relationship. And she didn't even tell him. Good question.

[B]

Good question. Did you explain to her the. The difficulty of communication overseas at that time? Like, there were no cell phones. You had to, like, find a payphone. You had to call, like, at a certain time of night. There was no email.

[A]

There was. You could write a freaking letter.

[B]

I was about to say that was your option.

[A]

And I think if you're falling in love with somebody and you say you have a close relationship. And I didn't even flag in my brain back then, and even made even more complicated when later the groom's parents say, yeah, we met Annie when We traveled overseas. So they had, she had met the in law, the future in law.

[B]

And that didn't register with.

[A]

They didn't register as a problem with me.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

So, okay, the next was they hire this wedding planner, Frank, played by Martin Short, and you know, the beautiful, beautiful magazine worthy wedding ideas. That would be $250 ahead. Lola hits pause and she's like, that is an insane amount of money. I agree. By the way. A dollar 250 a head is crazy.

[B]

And that's, that's 1991. 250 ahead. Which is probably a G ahead.

[A]

Well, so she immediately goes to the Google bar and what is $250 in 1991 is worth $615.13 today. So she immediately is like, he is totally in. It is totally valid that he is freaking out over spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars ahead to have a wedding in his own house.

[B]

Yeah, you're not even paying a venue fee.

[A]

You're not even paying a venue fee. Yeah, and the one she like, it's in his house. It shouldn't be that much money. And so I was like, yeah, no, yeah, you're right. Yeah, but, but 1991, Kim was like, let her have her dream wedding. You own a sneaker company. Let her have her dream wedding. And no, even if you own a sneaker company, you know, $250 a head is crazy. Part of it was then let's trim the guest list. I think they had something like, like 515 people or 575 people on the list.

[B]

So 515 times.

[A]

250.

[B]

250. Hit me up, Sam.

[C]

515 times. 250 is one. 128. 750.

[B]

All right, so now try it with,

[A]

try it with, oh, 650.

[B]

615 times 500 and whatever.

[C]

300K.

[B]

So that's a 300K wedding.

[A]

Right. So in today's terms. 300. $300,000. I'm sorry, 100 and something. Thousand dollars. Is that our, our wedding was. No, no, like a lot cheaper than. So she. When they were trying to trim down the guest list, at one point Annie says, why don't we. She got really upset with like, who they were cutting. And she stands up like, why don't we charge people at the door? That way we can make money. And she storms off. And 1991, Kim was like, yeah, that's totally valid. And Lola looked at me. She's like, she doesn't know that many people. She should totally cut that should be a hundred people. And I was like, thank God we I have Gen Z here. I mean, again, it wasn't problematic and there was nothing, you know, there was nothing problematic in the way that things can be problematic today. But I'm so glad our daughter enlightened me that. Yeah, ask the question.

[B]

Lola would be a heck of a wedding planner. Like she likes holding a clipboard. She likes telling people what to do. She would be outstanding at this. I also think that Lola could, this could be like a segment of Lola Debunks all of our favorite movies, honestly.

[A]

So that was my laugh line's question of the week. Email or call us and tell us the movie you used to watch or the show or the, or the song. And now your kids just roast you for it.

[C]

It.

[A]

This is going to set us up pen for a very fun game. Okay. We're going to do the price is right 1991 edition. Yes, yes.

[B]

So we're standard definition. Bob Barker's on the prowl.

[A]

Oh man.

[B]

He's got the long microphone that goes from here all the way up to his mouth.

[A]

What was.

[B]

Everyone in the audience is crazy. They're all from Peoria, Illinois.

[A]

Oh man. How did they get there?

[B]

Because that was the biggest, like, that was the biggest ticket in Hollywood. Do you like. People came from all over the place. They were, they were almost always from. It seemed like the Midwest was really well represented.

[A]

They recruited from the Midwest, by the way.

[B]

Do you know, I have a friend who was on that show really? And she's from the Midwest. I think she like won a car. She did great. But as a Midwesterner, she got there and you win the, you can look this up. Probably you win the, the car and they, you have to pay LA taxes on the car. And they so heavily overrate the actual retail price. So think about it like the actual retail price is like you never. You're not paying that in a car lot. So a $30,000 car, you're paying $23,000 in the car lot. You're like negotiating it down but you're paying taxes on the 30,000, which in LA is like half of the car. So you're getting like a twenty three thousand dollar car that you don't really need for fifteen thousand dollars. So very frequently people don't take the prizes. Oh, I hope I'm getting that right.

[A]

Well, as somebody who won a game show that's based out of la, yeah, we did pay almost half in taxes.

[B]

I think it was half.

[A]

It was like 45.

[B]

Yeah, it was right. It was. It was a lot. We. We helped. You're welcome, California.

[A]

I, I. But what was Bob Barker's microphone situation?

[C]

It was essential for interviewing audience audience members. Its length allowed Barker to quickly pass the mic to contestants without shoving his hand in their faces, acting as a physical barrier to manage the energetic and unpredictable crowd.

[B]

That makes perfect sense because you got to reach across people sometimes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To do it. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, I love that. Okay. Good old Bob.

[B]

He. But, like, he was synonymous with that microphone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, if you see a microphone like that, you actually say, that's a Bob Barker microphone, by the way.

[A]

Let me ask this. How long ago was 1991?

[B]

I just realized, and it's stunning. It's 35 years.

[A]

You're wrong. It is only 15 years ago.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

1991 was only 15 years ago. Sorry. I. When I was writing 1991, I was like, oh, that's like, how much did stuff cost 15 years ago? That wasn't that long ago. But in my brain, 1991 was 15 years ago. I was 15 years old in 1991. What in the time and space happened? Anyway, so we have a list of items here. I do not know the answers, but Sam does.

[B]

Oh, fun.

[A]

How much these items cost in 1991?

[B]

So we're gonna. All right. Are we using true prices, Right. Rules where if you go over, it doesn't count?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Okay. Because you know what you can do. If I think that you've already and

[A]

you can't do $0.01.

[B]

Yes. It's $1. I can do $1, but I still win. If you went over, it would be really dumb, probably. Why are you pulling the prices? Right. No, like, everyone who watches wants us to play by the actual rules of prices.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Welcome to prices. Right. I am Sam Barker, and today we're going to talk about prices in 1991. I have the prices here.

[A]

So we're going to start off okay.

[C]

How much was a movie ticket worth in 1991?

[A]

Non matinee movie ticket. Let's go. Evening movie ticket. That was 525.

[B]

I think it was closer to $6 or maybe five. I'm gonna say 526.

[C]

You're both wrong and you're both over.

[B]

Oh, so you won.

[C]

It's 425.

[A]

Really? I went over. We both lost.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

425.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Okay. School lunch. I know what this was at my school.

[B]

I mean, most, most schools kept it very affordable. I'm gonna say it was 250.

[A]

Mine was $1.25.

[C]

Came here close. It was 115, but we both went over.

[A]

We suck at this game.

[C]

Okay, next up, a gallon of gas. Ooh.

[A]

In 1991. I wasn't driving yet, so I didn't know.

[B]

And also was Desert Storm, 1991. That would have affected the price of gas.

[A]

I'm gonna say 269A gallon.

[B]

I'm going under. I'm going $1. I think it was. I remember during that time, it was, like, close to a dollar most of the time.

[C]

$15?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Could you imagine?

[B]

No, it was great because you knew, like, you basically got as many gallons as you had dollars for. For the first part of my driving experience, and then that never happened again.

[C]

All right, now we got a CD.

[B]

Okay. In 1991, so they were pretty new. We're not counting Columbia House. Right. Because that was one cent.

[A]

I was gonna say one.

[B]

I think they were, like 11.99.

[A]

Yeah. I'm gonna say maybe more, because I'm gonna say 8.99.

[C]

$15.

[A]

That's actually spending.

[B]

That's the only thing that's gone down in price.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

From. From, like, literally, like, that was. Everything else has gotten way more expensive.

[C]

Now we've got the cassette tape.

[A]

I'll say 7.99.

[B]

6.99.

[C]

$8.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. There's no way I was gonna win that, Kim. I legit thought about saying $8, but I did. You didn't. And you won.

[C]

Okay. Happy Meal.

[B]

At one point, it was, like, right at 4.99. It was a 4.99 for the longest time. And I don't know if it inflated before then, so I'm going with 4.99.

[A]

I'm gonna say $1 250.

[B]

Oh, my God. Really?

[A]

All I know is my parents, we. I loved a Happy Meal.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God. The joy of getting a Happy Meal.

[B]

It was just a plain old burger,

[A]

fries, and a toy.

[B]

A toy and like, a glass of milk or something.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Carton of milk.

[A]

No, but just something about the. Like, your mom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just handing you the box in the back seat.

[B]

I went way too high there. I forgot that burgers were, like, $0.59 at that place for a long time. Just a regular burger. Not the Quarter Pounder. The Regular burgers were 59 cheeseburgers.

[C]

I don't even have a dollar menu anymore. It's under three dollar menu.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

Ew.

[C]

All right, next up is a Coca Cola.

[A]

Are we talking about a can?

[C]

Oh, yeah. So let's say a can.

[A]

A can. 50 cents.

[B]

It was 50 cents in a vending machine. But at a store, if you're doing a per unit cost, I'd go lower. Like 35 cents.

[C]

I have 99 cents.

[A]

Okay, maybe that's. That must be like a fountain drink at McDonald's or something.

[B]

I'm calling shenanigans on that standby.

[C]

Do you want me to get the actual source? Yellow. Hi, you're live on air.

[A]

You're welcome to Laugh Lines.

[C]

Welcome to Laugh Lines. Our contestants want to call foul on the Coca Cola price.

[A]

Just one contestant.

[C]

Can you confirm what the 99 cent Coca Cola was? Would that be can at a store? Please hold.

[B]

It's Anne Marie.

[A]

Okay, the price. What do you.

[C]

Okay, let's have a game within the game.

[A]

How.

[C]

What size did you think it was?

[A]

I can't.

[B]

Yeah, 12 ounce can.

[A]

A 12 ounce can. That is incorrect.

[B]

What do you mean?

[C]

Okay, but you just wrote.

[B]

That's incorrect.

[C]

So you don't want to play my

[A]

game within a game.

[B]

Yes, I'm here for whatever I thought.

[C]

I thought it would be a glass.

[B]

I can't stop thinking about Coca Cola. It's 85 degrees up here and I'm in a tank top. Yeah, I could Totally.

[C]

Slightly faster. We are burning up. Pen is in a tank top. Bottle. 20 ounce bottle of Coke.

[B]

20 ounce.

[A]

20 ounce.

[C]

Okay, Richie Rich.

[A]

Thank you, Anne Marie.

[B]

Anne Marie. Thank you so much.

[C]

Okay. A 20 ounce bottle of Coca Cola was 99 cents.

[A]

And I said 50. So I win.

[C]

Our final item.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

A Nintendo game.

[B]

Game.

[A]

The game. I did not have a Nintendo console, so therefore I did not buy it. Nintendo games. I'm gonna say $35.

[B]

Okay. They were generally in the. I was gonna say in the $40 range. So if you say 35, that's totally fine. You got one of them free with the game. And when I got my Nintendo, I could. That was the only game I had for a long, long time. But I think they were about $40.

[C]

I have $50.

[A]

Okay, you win that one.

[B]

That was fun.

[C]

I will say that Emery did include adjusted for inflation.

[A]

Oh, I would love to know that, actually.

[C]

Okay, great. With inflation, a movie ticket should be 1040.

[B]

Okay. So it's gone. It's gone faster.

[C]

More than that.

[A]

More than that.

[C]

Same with school lunch. 280. But it's more than that.

[A]

Is it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

A gas per callin with inflation would be 280.

[B]

Oh, it's gone way up.

[C]

Not true.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

However, a CD would be 3675.

[B]

That's the one like music. The music industry has completely flatlined. You only make money if you go on tour, apparently.

[C]

My personal favorite cassette tape would be 1960. And next to it, she wrote, not applicable.

[A]

Sad.

[C]

Happy Meal is $6.10, roughly the same.

[B]

Oh, cool.

[C]

Coca Cola would be $2 and 40 cents, roughly the same. And Nintendo game would be $122, which is. I would say Nintendo Game now is still 50.

[B]

It probably is. But think about what people do now is they buy Xbox games and they continue to update them every year. So they. They've just changed the business model from, like, buying a game once and then buying another game to, like, buying it every year. Every year buying three or four new sports games.

[C]

We actually have the Game Pass, which is like a. It's a monthly subscription that gets you a library of, like, 50 to 100 games.

[B]

We can't tell PC about that.

[A]

Yeah, we can't tell them that exists. So basically, a Happy Meal and Coke are the only things that have kind of stayed true. Everything else is price gouging us. Good to know. Good to know. Okay. That was a fun trip down memory lane.

[B]

I enjoyed that. All right, before we go, we're about done here. It gets burning up. It's almost like it's the sun up here. And I really wish we had a total eclipse to cool us off a bit. This will come out a few weeks after we air it. But our hearts were all broken this morning when we heard that Bonnie Tyler had passed. She has been a part of my life for a very, very long time, and I was very sad to hear this news.

[A]

Okay, this is. Tyler earned three Grammy nods and in 2013, represented Britain at the Eurovision Song Contest. She came in 19th. She was honored as a member of the Order of the British Empire in 2022 for her services to music by Queen Elizabeth II. Thanks mainly to Total Eclipse of the Heart, which had more than 1 billion streams, boosted by real eclipses in 2017 and 2024. And I will say this, that Total Eclipse of the Heart is Pen Holderness's number one karaoke song.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So I feel like this has played a special part in our relationship. So Bonnie Tyler is kind of the soundtrack to our relationship.

[B]

Yes. And I. I do it Dan Band style.

[A]

Yes. Sorry, there's a few swear words.

[B]

It's usually after hours, so that's okay. Because I love the way he did it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And we actually saw him in concert. First of all, what, 18 people finished ahead of her in Eurovision? Like, she finished 19 also. Total Eclipse of The Heart, which I love singing in karaoke. It's not even my favorite song of hers.

[A]

What is?

[B]

I love I need a hero.

[A]

So good.

[B]

I love I need a hero.

[A]

That is on my. I have so much Bonnie Tyler on my run Run when I used to run, by the way. Now my hips would turn into dust if I started to run. But on my run playlist, there was a lot of Bonnie Tyler.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So anyway, in honor of Bonnie, Kim's going to read the credits. And as she does, I will be playing Total Eclipse of the Heart. Sam, do you want to be the turnaround person? So just go.

[A]

Turn around.

[C]

Turn around.

[A]

Laugh Lines is written and produced by Kim Holderness, Pen Holderness and Amari Tapke with original music by Pen Holderness. It is filmed, edited and live produced by Sam Allen and hosted by Acat. As always, we love to hear from you. Please write us to podcast@holders family.com or leave us a voicemail. 323-364-3929. And we will talk to you soon on the laugh line.

[B]

Sorry.

[C]

So, you know, like, in football, when

[A]

times they have to, like, call in,

[C]

they have to call New York.

[A]

They have to, like, review a play.

[B]

Yes. Instant replay. Yeah.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

So that's what just had to happen.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And let me tell you why, okay? 1991 is a very interesting year to guess a price, because that is the

[C]

year they went from glass bottles to

[A]

plastic bottles, and not all the plastic

[C]

was rolled out until later on in the 90s. So the ruling on the field, I would like to say, is 50 cents.

[A]

So whoever gets 50, I think would be the winner for that.

[B]

So Kim. Kim wins.

[A]

Yay.

[B]

And I think that would make you the winner of the overall winner, because I think when you guess the exact price, you get like a thousand dollars on the prices. Right. You get, like an extra bonus when you.

[A]

We're really into rules, Anne Marie. I'm sorry about that. You did a great job. This is just a little treat for those who didn't hit stop and they just let it keep going. This is just a little end of the podcast treat for you guys. We're half naked playing the press is right. Turn around.

[B]

This episode is sponsored by Michael's, your destination for all things birthday parties.

[A]

Okay, Penn, when I say Michaels, what do you think?

[B]

Well, two things, Kim. Arts and then crafts.

[A]

Arts and crafts, of course. Well, now you need to add parties because the party shop at Michael's has everything you need to create the ultimate birthday celebration.

[B]

Yet Michael's has over 4,500 total assortment of party supplies and balloons plus they

[A]

just lower their prices on hundreds of items with 60 plus themes starting at 99 cents.

[B]

You can shop with ease with same day delivery or pick up in store plus free helium inflation for balloons on select styles.

[A]

So yes, Michaels is a destination for all things party and DIY and it's all under one roof.

[B]

Michaels everything.

[A]

To celebrate anything, visit Michaels in store or shop online now. Love Michaels.

[B]

Hey everybody, this is Knox from the podcast with Knox and Jamie. Back to school always brings a little nostalgia. Fresh notebooks, new shoes, sharpened pencils, and trying to remember your friend's home phone number. But today, staying connected looks a little different. Between pickups, practices and after school activities, kids need a way to reach their parents. And parents need peace of mind too. That's where Gab comes in. Gab makes phones and watches designed for kids. With no social media apps or Internet browsers users, kids get the connection they need while parents get features like gps, check ins, managed contacts, safer messaging and Gab Music, which is clean songs curated for kids this year. Skip the adult smartphone and choose a phone made with kids in mind. Use code get Gab to get 25 off at gab.com getgab that's Gab G

[A]

A B B Hannah, I just venmoed you for dinner.

[B]

Obsessed.

[C]

I'm spending it right now in the

[A]

lip gloss that's been been sitting in my cart. What do you mean spending it right now?

[C]

You can instantly spend your balance with

[A]

the Venmo debit card or when you

[C]

pay with Venmo at checkout. Stop.

[A]

Say more.

[C]

More.

[A]

Exactly. The more you do with Venmo, the more you get.

[C]

Like earning up to 5% cash. Back with Venmo stash. Get the Venmo debit card or checkout online. Venmo Stash Bundle terms and exclusions apply. Max $100 per month.

[A]

See terms at Venmo Me Stash terms Venmo checkout not available at all merchants.

[C]

The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank.

[B]

Na then I thought, what if I've scaled businesses? What if I scaled my philanthropy? What if I did as much in one year as I've done in my whole life? See how your wealth could have even greater [e-mail] impact

[C]

okay, wait. Let's do a final check. Final check. Hold on.

[A]

A check of the temperature. Hold on. Final check of the temperature.

[B]

And before we say goodbye, the temperature. Temperature is.

[C]

It is 82 degrees. Good in this attic right.

[A]

Okay, Love you guys. Bye.