Holiday Bare Minimum

Summary

Laugh Lines with Kim & Penn Holderness

Episode: Holiday Bare Minimum
Air Date: December 9, 2025

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Overview: Embracing the Bare Minimum This Holiday Season

In this warm, witty, and relatable episode of Laugh Lines, Kim and Penn Holderness take aim at the relentless holiday “do-it-all” culture. They introduce their new holiday mantra: doing “the bare minimum”—not out of laziness, but to reclaim joy, boundaries, and rest, especially as they approach midlife. Through personal anecdotes, gentle humor, and listener contributions, they encourage listeners to drop unrealistic holiday expectations and focus on what truly matters.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Honoring the Moms of Holidays Past, Embracing Doing Less

• Kim pays tribute to her mother and mothers of the '80s and '90s who went “all out” every Christmas—acquiring hard-to-find toys, perfect parties, and homemade treats.
• Kim’s revelation: “To honor my mother, I’m doing the absolute... I’m doing the least. I’m calling this the holiday bare minimum, thriving at almost 50 with about 30% effort.” (05:36)
• Penn fully supports Kim’s holiday pivot toward intentional rest: “We don’t intentionally rest and relax enough during this time of year. And then January comes around and you are just a ball... just a ball of nerve. So I’m like, excited about this. I’m here for it.” (07:13)

“That’s Just Not Going to Work for Me” — Building Boundaries

• Kim shares her new favorite phrase: “That’s just not going to work for me right now”—no guilt, no elaborate apologies, just clear boundaries. (14:37)
• On people-pleasing: “Christmas is the people pleaser Super Bowl. Like, this is our time to shine. So it’s really hard, and I’ve had to put some guardrails around it.” (15:54)

Practical Bare Minimum Holiday Strategies

Kim’s “Not-This-Year” List:

• Avoiding Energy Vampires — “Hanging out with people who are energy vampires... I am doing the work of not being around them.” (16:26)
• No Perfectly Wrapped Gifts — “If the tape goes across and there’s a little bit of the present that’s still visible on the back... that’s okay. Previously, I would have unwrapped and thrown that away.” (17:22)
• No Homemade Treats — “It is not my ministry right now is to make homemade anything. And let me tell you who makes great cookies: Wegmans. Whole Foods. Harris Teeter.” (23:09)
• Scaling Back Gift Gifting — “Really expensive gifts... I’m over this year.” Instead, the family is favoring experiences and making donations in loved ones' names. (24:36)
• Letting Go of Traditions That Don’t Serve Anymore — From real trees (after an aphid disaster) to massive decorations: “Doing anything because we've always done it that way—that doesn't work for me.” (30:05)

The Real Tree Confession and Letting Traditions Evolve

• Kim and Penn share the story of a disastrous aphid infestation, which led them to switch to an artificial tree—for the first time, letting go of long-held “real tree” traditions.
• Penn: “When a tradition is hurting you… then…it’s time.” (30:15)
• Kim: “I think the secret of my personal joy is going to be medium—aiming for medium.” (31:26)

The Gift of Rest and Celebrating Small Joys

• Penn’s big holiday goal: Ensure days off feel restful—“When a day off feels more like a work day… that doesn’t work for me.” (33:07)
• Kim’s mother as “intentional rest” role model—does nothing the week after Christmas, “sits in her bathrobe, listens to Christmas music, and stares at her Christmas tree.” (34:17)

Listener Laugh Lines - From Bare Minimum Gift Exchanges to Photo Book Guilt

Letters and voicemails highlight:

• “Unwanted Gift Exchange” parties—white elephant style with actual unwanted gifts, sometimes hilariously re-gifted from coworkers. (37:47)
• Mom guilt (“photo book guilt”): “I want to be the type of person who does photo books. I’m just not that person.” (39:45)
• Group therapy over the Presidential Fitness Test—Pam’s confession of “losing count or actively cheating” on the mile run, and the news that the dreaded test is coming back in 2026. (41:03–43:00)

Game Time: Bring It Back or Pass? (Holiday Edition)

• Tinsel/Icicles: Kim muses about bringing them back for nostalgia; Penn: “It gets everywhere. Pass.” (50:10)
• Christmas Caroling: “Bring it back! It never left.” (50:29)
• Unannounced Holiday Drop-ins: Ok if you just leave treats, but for visits “text me so I can put on a bra!” (51:02)
• Calling Santa on a 1-900 number: “The biggest scam in history” and universally vetoed. (51:50)
• Waiting for Christmas Specials (Before On-Demand): Penn wishes for the joy of shared anticipation—“Take them all out and just have…a few of them” on a scheduled night. (53:00)
• Christmas Cards (Photos vs. No Photos): Both reminisce about cards and newsletters. Kim launches into a heartfelt rant about division of labor in card-sending, “If you did the 11 steps as the male partner, I applaud you!” (55:53–57:45)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Kim: “This is care uniquely tailored for you... All right ladies, ready to feel your best and write your second act script?” (01:25)
• Kim (on boundaries): “That is not my ministry right now… you guys, it feels so good.” (15:54)
• Penn (after aphid disaster): “When a tradition is hurting you… then it is—the term—like, when it’s causing you stress during a time of year where there’s already plenty of stress.” (30:25)
• Kim: “I’m craving being able to find those moments of joy in the everyday. And I think that means for me, I have to aim for medium. And I think that’s hard for me to be medium.” (31:26)
• Penn (on rest): “Being able to recharge that battery is super important because I know we’re getting right back to the grind in January... I think I need to be intentional and say, like, this needs to be a day on my butt and have as many of those as possible just to kind of recharge the battery.” (33:07)
• Kim’s Christmas card labor rant: “If you did those things, as the male partner in the relationship, I applaud you. Please email me, you’ll get a Christmas card from our family. And we don’t send Christmas cards.” (56:41–57:00)
• Penn (on special effects aging poorly): “It is funny when our kids watch the movies that we thought were just the coolest in the 80s... I mean, you practically see the strings on the Star Wars.” (45:17)
• Kim (final mantra): “Aim for medium, guys. Aim for medium. The bare medium.” (59:49–59:56)

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Notable Email & Voicemail Segments

• Sarah’s “Unwanted Gift Exchange” (37:44)
  “Did you receive a gift that just isn’t you? Wrap it up and bring it… You might go home with something better—or you might not!”

• Amy on photo book guilt (38:34)
  “I wish sometimes that I was one of those moms that would, you know, do cute books like that. So hearing you guys laugh about it kind of just made me feel a lot better that I don’t have one for my second child.”

• Pam’s Presidential Fitness Test confession (40:16)
  “Either lost count or actively cheated. I’m not—I don’t remember at this point, but I know that I kind of made up the number of laps I had done. And I still feel really guilty about, I think at some level.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Kim’s Bare Minimum Manifesto: 05:36–07:11
• Discussing boundaries & people-pleasing: 14:37–15:54
• Kim’s “Not My Ministry” Items: 16:26–24:49
• Aphid-Tree Disaster/Letting Go of Traditions: 28:22–30:05
• Medium as a Motto for Joy: 31:26–32:21
• Listener Segment—Unwanted Gift Exchange: 37:44–38:29
• Listener Voicemail—Photo Book Guilt: 38:34–39:59
• Listener Voicemail—Presidential Fitness Test: 40:16–41:45
• Bring It Back or Pass? Game: 49:59–54:52
• Kim’s Christmas Card Process Rant: 55:53–57:45
• Closing Mantra—Aim for Medium: 59:49–59:56

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Tone & Language

The episode is candid, funny, warm, and a little irreverent, with Kim and Penn’s trademark banter and realness. They openly discuss the challenges, exhaustion, and joys of middle age, with self-deprecating humor and practical wisdom.

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In Summary

This episode is an anthem for overextended parents and aging holiday heroes everywhere: cut yourself slack, be okay with “medium,” let go of guilt and unneeded traditions, and prioritize real connection and rest. As Kim says, “Aim for medium. The bare medium.”
For more listener participation, write to [e-mail] or call 323-364-3929.

Transcript

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[C]

Change the channel.

[A]

This is not your show.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, we get older every day. Got more wrinkles. That's okay.

[A]

Yeah, we're laughing.

[B]

When we age, life is like a comedy stage. And that's why we got laugh lines.

[A]

Hi everybody. I'm Kim Holderness.

[B]

And I'm Penn Holderness. Happy holidays from all of us at Laugh Lines.

[A]

If your mom got in an altercation over Cabbage Patch doll at the Montgomery Ward or the best if you lived in Bradenton, Florida. There was a.

[B]

Did they have Cabbage Patch at Best?

[A]

Yeah, because I saved my money and finally bought one. Anyway, you are home if you remember that.

[C]

If you know what Montgomery Ward or Best is.

[A]

They had Best nationwide, so they had.

[B]

One at our house.

[C]

But it was a bit of a drive.

[A]

My mother was too smart to wait in line for a cabbage Patch doll and she had a job and they were expensive and she wasn't gonna get in a fight. But I will say our moms in the holidays in the 80s and 90s were doing the most.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And their mom's out there, like, fighting each other for like a Furby or a Tickle Me Elmo. Like, they were doing the absolute most. That is why I am honoring my mother by this holiday season. Oh. To honor my mother. I'm doing the absolute. I'm doing the least. Oh, I am doing the least.

[B]

I can't say I saw that coming.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I. I'm calling this the holiday bare minimum, thriving at almost 50 with about 30% effort.

[C]

I love this theme. Okay, so this, this show is going to be this new mindset honoring your mother.

[A]

Well, just honoring the moms and the moms.

[C]

Yeah. Who?

[A]

I mean, I'm telling you and I'm sure, listen, it was me up until this moment. Every single Christmas, every single holiday. I was crying on Christmas Eve because, like, we gotta go to church and I have to put on makeup overnight. I'm wrapping the presents and like all this stuff. Like, I had to be Santa's up. Like, there was a lot of magic that has to be created that you are an amazing partner. You do a lot. I chose to take on.

I chose to kind of do all the things. So I'm not saying you didn't help, but I chose to make it probably harder than it needed to be. So in honor of past Kim. In honor of Kim passed.

[C]

There it is.

[A]

I am. I'm not gonna mail it in, but I really do have like a. Like, I am who I am. I have like a plan of how I'm gonna be intentional to just like, I'm just gonna bring it down. I'm just gonna bring it down.

[C]

Okay. If I may comment on this. I'm excited. Yes, I'm excited. I don't think that you need to do as much as you do normally.

[A]

Yeah, it was all self inflicted.

[C]

Yes, of course. Like, I've. I'm not a sit on my butt while my wife does everything. And because of something, I'm doing it too. So to me, like, there. And we'll get into this, but I do think that we don't intentionally rest and relax enough during this time of year. And then January comes around and you are just a ball. Like you one everyone, me including is like just a ball of nerve. So I'm like, excited about this. I'm here for it.

[B]

Before we honor you and your Mother.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Can I. I think it'd be fun to start with me honoring my father and some of his Christma behaviors, because everyone loves it when I make fun of my dad's accent.

[A]

Well, first of all, your dad was a pastor.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Of a massive church.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

So, like, that was his busy season.

[B]

He was.

[C]

But he was like, there could be a sitcom about my dad around Christmas.

[A]

Really?

[C]

He. Yes. He was gone most of Christmas.

[A]

Yeah, he. That was his business.

[C]

For that reason, Christmas Day was amazing because he was always there, and. And he was like, talk about relaxing. He relaxed, I bet, on Christmas. And he.

[B]

I think that somehow amid all of this.

[C]

Yes, my mom probably did most of.

[B]

The shopping, but he did some pretty.

[C]

Cool stuff for us for Christmas.

[B]

Some was cool, some was weird.

[C]

It just was like a kind of a hodgepodge. So he made us a ton of our own toys, which.

[B]

I don't know how he had time.

[C]

To do it, but he made these.

[B]

We had all these little, like, wooden toys that I. You know, you don't realize when you're a kid. We were cleaning out their house a.

[C]

Couple years ago, and I'm like, where'd dad get these? And we both. Dale and I both, like. No, he made these. He made these little trains and these little cars for us with, like, little wheels on them and stuff. The other thing that we found that was really funny. I've done this before, too. You get something that you think is a cool gift for your kid because you think it's a cool gift.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

He got us a bunch of amazing Star wars figures and never let us open them.

[A]

Oh, did you find them? Yes. Wait, where are they?

[C]

Well, so we found them, and we had.

[A]

They were closed still.

[C]

No, we peeled them open and put them so they weren't in their, like, mint condition anymore. We had snuck upstairs after dad. We'd found them, peeled them open, played with them, and then shoved them back in their original packaging. And so at some point, my dad's like, you've missed the point here.

[A]

He thought it was going to be, like, an investment.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

That's like a Beanie Baby theory.

[C]

Right. But we yanked him out of it.

[A]

What would, like, an original Star wars figurine be worth now? And I don't know.

[C]

Like, it depends, you know? You know, we had. He also did give us, like, the full Ewok village that we could play with.

[A]

He allowed you to play with it?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

But, like, imagine being a kid and.

[C]

They give you this toy, and they. I mean, I understand him trying to explain an investment, but all I want.

[A]

He presented the toy to you.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

But did not allow you to play with it.

[C]

What he should have done is given me a box with nothing in it so that my expectations were not smashed when I. Because as soon as you open it, you, like, want to take it out of its. So we open it. He's like, give it to me. It's going in the attic.

[A]

Does that happen anymore? Are there gifts right now that they are more valuable in the box still? Because it was, like, a Barbie thing for a while, but, like, the only.

[D]

Thing that comes to mind is. I know, like, Pokemon cards.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

That stuff is still, like, really trending. And if you just keep the bo. Like, keep it all closed.

[A]

Does anybody ever open it or did just, like, sits there until when, like.

[D]

But that's the thing. You know how we say reading books and buying books are two different hobbies?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

I think playing Pokemon and collecting Pokemon are two different hobbies.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You guys are being mature. Like, all I've heard, like, was, here you go, boy.

[B]

All right, give me that back.

[C]

I'm gonna put it in the attic forever. Like that. Like, that was forever. And then there were other presents, but all I wanted. If someone gives you a toy and it take. It's the only thing you want.

[A]

Okay. He has since passed. Rest in peace, sweet Haywood. I miss him every day. What do you think he would have said? As you and Dale are cleaning out his house and you uncover these, like, busted up boxes of Luke Skywalker.

[C]

And, like, I mean, he was never. He never got really that mad at us. He was always like, well, I guess that's what's going to happen. Like, even when he found that we'd open them up, he's like, that's. Dude, that's you losing money, not me. He. I mean, I think one thing he always said was, my money is not really my money. It's your money. Eventually, so. Which. Not that we had much, but. No, I think he would have laughed at the story of us sneaking up to play with them and then put them back in. As if no one would notice. When you open one of those things, it's like a mangled mess.

[A]

Yeah. There's no way to do it neatly. What I'm gonna require from those listeners listening or watching on YouTube is if you have one of these figurines or something, I really need you to honestly tell me how much is it actually worth? Yeah, yeah. Like, do me. And then we're just gonna call your brother who's like the controller of a company. He's like a CPA now. And tell him all the money he missed out on.

[C]

Oh, that he loved that he would love that.

[B]

And while you're at it, could you.

[C]

Go through my coin collection that I found that just has like random quarters that I found on the street that I put in a three ring binder? We should pull that.

[A]

Oh, we should pull out Penn's old coin collection. Okay. We are here to de influence you from trying so hard this holiday season. If you are looking for a show that will help you perfectly curate a tablescape that will give you the perfect gift guide that will just tell you where to buy over the top decorations and how to style them.

[C]

Change the channel.

[A]

This is not your show. Yeah, it changed the channel. Walk up to the tv.

[B]

Walk a different program.

[A]

Watch a different program. Okay. Because every single year, I am just going into Christmas on two wheels. I'm exhausted. I end up crying. But this year, I don't know if it's the estrogen that's leaving my body or something. Like, I physically am not capable of that. And so excited. Yeah. And I think if this is the gift of aging, I'll take it. Which is just like, not everything needs to be homemade. Not everything needs to be perfect. What is perfect? Like, what does it even mean? Nobody is asking me to do half the crap I do, so I'm just not. Why are you laughing?

[C]

Because you're right.

There's a group of people who are in awe of you in this family, of all of the things that you do. An entire group, myself, my daughter, and my son.

[A]

Got it, got it, got it.

[C]

Who are in awe of all that you do.

[B]

Actually, I think Lola takes a little.

[C]

Bit of your traits as well. She likes to jump through the hoop sometimes.

But sometimes just rest and the power of sort of stopping. It's really what the true holiday miracle is for some people.

[A]

Can I tell you, I've been. Okay. Also, we've been learning on this podcast, like boundaries or something. I'm learning.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I have said on more than one occasion this holiday season.

That'S just not going to work for me right now. Or this.

[C]

You said it this year.

[A]

Yeah. This year is like, this is not going to work for us or that's not going to work for me. And what I've been trying to edit is not saying, I'm so sorry, that just doesn't work right now. Maybe later. Like, I would always apologize, but that.

[C]

That you're kicking the can down the road?

[A]

Yeah, like you're kicking the can down the road. It's like, that's just not going to work for me right now. We have spent our time volunteering, we have spent our time, we are donating and we are doing that work. We don't always talk about that work just because that's another thing your dad would always say, like, is it true charity if you're sitting there talking about it? I think we have a. We fight about not fight, but like we go back and forth because we're in a position where people listen to us. If we talked about the volunteer work, then maybe more people would. So that's something that we need to struggle with. But people have asked us to do things that aren't charity work, that aren't anyone engage like just to like lend our, lend our hands at something. And I have said that's not my ministry right now. Like, that is not. That's that. I'm so glad you have taken this up, but this is just like not my ministry. And you guys, it feels so good.

You guys just like. And I am a people pleaser and it has taken me a long time and I think this is like Christmas is the people pleaser Super Bowl. Like this is our time to shine. So it's really hard. And I've had to put some guardrails around it because it is my instinct to jump in.

[C]

And I see that you've made a list.

[A]

I'm telling you, I need some guardrails.

[C]

And I. And that is a list is always a way. I just turn the page and I'm like, oh, Kim's got a list. Very excited about this.

[A]

So on the theme of things that aren't going to work for me this year is hanging out with people who are energy vampires.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Even if we've always done so, it can be really stressful.

[C]

Hang on. And that includes, remember like Thanksgiving, holidays, Christmas, it's all like, it's people that you always see that your friends and family. And it's kind of a come what.

[A]

May, I think there are people that, that we as family, friends, everything that. And I'm talking extended friends here. That when I'm around them, I feel worse about myself. And so therefore I am doing the work of not being around them.

[C]

Friendships and relationships should be two way relationships. So if you feel like someone's draining energy from you, then that's not a good relationship.

[A]

Right. Okay. Perfectly wrapped gifts are not going to work for me this year.

[C]

I'm so on board with this. Can we do the aluminum foil thing. I've always wanted to do.

[A]

That's more expensive than wrapping paper. I don't know what you're talking about. That's crazy.

[C]

I'm not saying it's saving us money. I'm saying it's just like right there in the kitchen and just. Nope. Okay. No aluminum foil. My dream is just to wrap everything in aluminum foil.

[B]

It's silver and shiny. It's right there.

[A]

It'll cut you.

[D]

We done the price.

[A]

I know, like the price analys again, wildly.

[B]

Is there some cheap, like Costco aluminum.

[C]

Foil we can get? Like it.

[B]

It basically it folds really well.

[C]

It's very malleable and pleiable. I love aluminum foil as a. As a Christmas wrapping.

[A]

I don't have words right now.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I will say my grandparents who had 15 grandchildren and so like, they. And they bought presents for everybody they rob. They would wrap. There were some years, you know, when times were more lean. Like the comic book pages of the newspaper. Like they would save those and. And it was super cute. And then we have done like grocery. The paper bags of a grocery store. Like, we've. We've done that before. And you can write on that. Like that's super fun. But I'm just talking about how in the past I've done a lot of big satin bows and I've done like flowery things in it. If I want to create that magic, if I want to take four hours, one day to just wrap like 10 presents, like, maybe I'll do that. But this year, if the tape goes across and there's like a little bit of the present that's still visible on the back, I. That. Because previously I would have unwrapped. I would have thrown that away. Hi. Sunny is here for me today. Can you see Sunny?

[D]

We need a little couch for her in the middle.

[A]

I know. We need a.

[D]

Christmas kiss.

[C]

Wait can. Wait can.

[B]

But can we.

[C]

Can we do that?

[A]

Get rid of this right now?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

We don't need this.

[A]

Okay, stop. Stop. More on this after these words.

[B]

This episode is brought to you by Gab.

[A]

It's that time of year again. The holidays are coming fast. And if your little kids are anything like mine were, that list is already getting pretty long.

[C]

Kim, let's be honest. Some of the things on their list made us stop and think like a smartphone.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[A]

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[A]

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[A]

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[A]

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Oh, my gosh, you guys, this.

[C]

Is a game changer. Okay.

[B]

For those of you on YouTube, something's.

[C]

Changed for the better here. We have decided to add Sunny to our set. We've got her on all three shots at this point. This is just way better for me.

[A]

But if those listening just know that she doesn't do anything and she identifies mostly as a cat.

[C]

Yeah, she's a cat.

[A]

So she's just sitting there. So you're not really missing. You're not missing a lot. But if you just need a calming.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Calming influence. You can watch us on YouTube.

[C]

Just for the record, we did just do more and I know we've been talking about it, right?

[A]

No. Okay.

[C]

I'm here for this.

[A]

Here's the difference.

[C]

It brings you joy.

[A]

It brings me joy.

[C]

There it is.

[A]

Okay, where was I? I have a list. Next. Homemade anything. Really.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I had for years I made homemade vanilla for our neighbors. I made. That would get invited to a cookie party and bring homemade cookies. And I, I wanted to like, I wanted to do that. It is not my ministry right now is to make homemade anything. And let me tell you who makes great cookies. Wegmans.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Whole foods.

[B]

What's that?

[A]

Harris Teeter.

[B]

Yeah. What's that freezer thing you have? The cookies are already like.

[A]

You know, I went to Target and they had frozen cookie dough and you just put it on the cookie sheet and it was like, like, yeah, it's just like fancier. Nestle Tollhouse tube cookie. Yeah, a tube cookie. I love a tube.

[B]

And then you sprinkle a little bit.

[C]

Of sea salt on it and all of a sudden it's gourmet.

[A]

All of a sudden it's gourmet. So that is. And if I, if people think poorly of me because I have broad store bought cookie to their cookie party, then that's the emotional vampire stuff I'm talking about. Like, we just don't do that. That being said, I deeply appreciate the time and craft that people when they bring like our neighbors, the Jones, a plate of like homemade cookies. I enjoy and I love that. And I'm so glad they do that. And that's their family tradition, not my ministry. There you go. Okay. Really expensive gifts. I'm over this year. We never did for our children. Like huge, expensive, crazy, crazy gifts.

[C]

No. In fact, one of our kids wants a hoodie.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the other one wants things that.

[C]

She probably also needs in some parts of her year.

[A]

And I mean this year.

[C]

Yeah. And so makes a spreadsheet for us. So our Kids haven't been super demanding, I don't think.

[A]

No. But I think that this year we're going to go on a trip, and that's going to be on our family gift. So listen, like, it's. That's just what the vibe is. In fact, I am going to pitch. So for our. The adults in our family, we will. We will kind of exchange little gifts. Your dad did this, and I thought it was amazing. He would make. Instead of giving us a gift that would clutter up or something, he would make a donation in our name. In our name.

[C]

To the human fund?

[A]

No, to the food.

[C]

No, it was a real place.

[A]

No to the food.

[C]

It was a Seinfeld reference for those of you.

[A]

And I think that's. I think that the adults in our life would appreciate that more than, like.

Whatever the crap that I'm gonna try to get them.

[C]

Okay? So I love this. Yeah, I think it's great. And the humans in our life, that may be a good litmus test. If there is a human, I mean, there's got to be someone who gets it.

[A]

And it's like, no, there's no adult I know that would be offended by getting a donation receipt with their name on it. Oh, Santa.

[C]

Yeah. I'm glad we have her here.

[A]

My mother and stepdad, Like, I. There's, like, always something little that I see. I'm like, oh, this reminds me of them, or this reminds me of her. But I love them so deeply, but they don't want more stuff in their house. They don't. And. And they're downsizing. Like, they're actively downsizing. So, like, why would they want more stuff? So if there's, like, a pretty tea towel or something, great. But like a. Hey, I made this donation and I put it in your name. Like, yeah, I think more valuable as.

[D]

It'S like a place, a charity, that that person, like, really cares about. It's not like you're just picking what you want.

[A]

Oh, good call. Get more personal feedback on that.

[C]

This isn't how I feel, but can I just be the devil's advocate here, please? Those donations can be expensive for the person who's giving them.

[A]

Absolutely. Adds up.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I realize that making rules for myself makes it seem like I'm trying hard, and I'm trying not to try so hard. So I realize the irony in all of this, but I. Sometimes, for me, saying things out loud and writing them down is helpful. Another thing I think is just the motto of this whole time is, like, I am giving up and handing over.

Things that we have done just because it's the way it's always been done or that this is how we've always done it. Therefore, we must continue to do it.

[C]

That's a big one for us because we do have quite a few traditions.

[A]

We have a lot of traditions that are a lot of work. Like, I love that we put out inflatables every year. Do we just put out one instead of 15?

If our kids enjoy the process, let's do it.

[B]

I think.

[C]

Yeah. Here's the thing. We need those inflatables. Our front yard is a complete disaster right now.

[A]

That's separate.

[C]

But. But I'm with.

[B]

I'm with you on that.

[C]

I think, you know, the big one. We don't have a real tree. You know what? This is a hot take.

[A]

This is breaking news.

[C]

We might get canceled here. Except then we'll tell you the story of why.

[A]

Well, I need to be careful because I support farmers. I love a farmer.

[C]

Love them.

[A]

We actually worked with a Christmas tree farmer from western North Carolina and got the most beautiful tree.

[C]

It was unbelievable.

[A]

Had. And it lasted for, like, 90 days.

[C]

Forever.

[A]

For. It was the most stunning, gorgeous, perfect. Like, could have been in a hotel. Christmas tree. Perfect. We love farmer, support farmers. I've always had a real Christmas tree. We had an issue where we had aphids last year, and if you don't know what that is, we walked in from our post Christmas, like, family trip. Our house was covered in bugs. Covered.

[C]

And when you smear them, they turn purple.

[A]

Purple. So it's stained black plus red. So I got the vacuum cleaner out, and it was just purple everywhere. Ruined our rug, obviously. And when I tell you they were everywhere, I it. When you're talking about, like, how we started the new year in a panic, that was it. And there. There was some other things we did to get rid of them. I forget how I. But there's some stuff we did to get rid of them. We got rid of them. And that week after Christmas, I was stalking all the sales. And I have. I told Penn, like, when we were dating, I'm like, I will always have a real Christmas tree. Like, it was a deal breaker for me. And maybe that's the start of all this because, like, just because we've always.

[C]

Done that, this was definitely the start of all this.

[A]

Just because doesn't mean we have to keep doing that. Our kids were disappointed. Our kids are disappointed that we have a tree.

[B]

We're gonna decorate it, and no one's gonna know the difference.

[C]

I Think, like, the one thing is we won't have the smell, which, by the way, I think I'm fairly allergic to. I get a little sneezy.

[A]

It is so funny. I do think he's allergic to live trees, but I've never acknowledged it because I didn't realize it.

[C]

But now you can. Now that you've gotten rid of them.

[A]

Now that I've gotten rid of it.

[C]

Thank you, Kim.

[A]

Thank you. Same 20 years later.

No, I. So for the first time ever, we'll have a fig tree again.

[C]

Look. What does this say? Doing anything? Because we've always done it that way. That doesn't work for you. I love it.

[A]

It's interesting. Our kids are going to be the biggest obstacle to this.

[C]

Yeah. But when a tradition is, you know, hurting you, well, then it is like, that's the term.

[B]

Like when it's causing you stress during.

[C]

A time of year where there's already plenty of stress. That's my favorite thing on your list.

[A]

All of this to say, if I want to make homemade cookies with my kids, if I want to spend time wrapping a present, I'm going to do it because I want to, not because of some sort of obligation to. What do you think?

[C]

I think if you follow through on this, you're going to be so much happier.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I didn't mean to say if you're going to follow through on this, but, you know.

You'Re a people pleaser and. And. And this is going to be tough for you.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And if you. If you pull this off, you're going to be so much at. Your blood pressure is going to go down. You're going to earmuffs.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You're going to sleep better. Your life is going to be better.

[B]

And I don't think you're.

[C]

And look, your biggest concern is that you're letting people down. I'm here to absolve you of that right now. You already do enough. You're not going to let anyone down. Your family is going to love you. They might get a little snitty about something, and then, like, they're going to realize, wait a minute. The vibe in this house is, like, completely different this year. And they're going to appreciate that.

[A]

I'm just craving being able to, like, find those moments of joy in the everyday. And I think that means for me, I have to aim for medium. And I think that's hard for me to be medium. But I think the secret of my personal joy is going to be medium. Aiming for medium.

[C]

When you say medium, you Mean like production and. And effort or like, not, not effort.

[A]

Effort.

[C]

Because, I mean, your effort's been up here, but that doesn't mean your well being is up here.

[A]

Right.

[C]

So medium could put your well being, like, through the roof.

[A]

Correct.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm just. Yeah, I'm not aiming for just average. I'm just like, it doesn't have to be 10. It doesn't have to be the best looking cookies on the table. Our Christmas brunch might be purchased entirely from a grocery store.

[C]

Sounds amazing.

[A]

Yeah. And I am. It's one meal and nobody who eats it will care.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It was me getting up early on Christmas morning making homemade quiches and like the, you know, cinnamon rolls and the, like, all the traditional, like, everybody likes something different. And so I, I just want to be able to enjoy it. And I don't feel like I've enjoyed a holiday season recently.

[C]

We're going to check in in January to see how this all went. I think that we owe that to anyone who has taken the time to listen to this podcast. And we're gonna talk about ways that this worked. Didn't work. Like, we'll do. Let's. Let's do like a debrief in January on this. Okay.

[A]

Okay. I love it. What about you?

[C]

I only have one thing that doesn't work for me this year, and I have one thing that I want to tackle.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Okay. The. The main thing that doesn't work for me, and this is just a blanket statement when a day off feels more like a work day than a work.

[A]

Day, because we're setting up for a party, we're setting up for decorations. Like we're doing something.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And it's only because I do feel like this last year, it's been a great year, but we've worked very hard. We've gone and done a lot of different things. And it, to me, being able to recharge that battery is super important because I know we're getting right back to the grind in January. We absolutely are. That's just a way that it is. Like when you run a company, you want to be successful for you, for your future, for the people who work with you. And so I just, I think I need to be intentional and say, like, this needs to be a day on my butt and have as many of those as possible just to kind of recharge the battery.

[A]

Yeah, we don't do a lot of that. Over. I think in starting November and December, every week, every single weekend is booked, usually with fun stuff.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But it's, It's. It's booked, and that's hard. I will. You know, my mom does, I think, after years of, like, fighting for toys and Cabbage Patch Dolls and all of that, like, she, with pride, takes the week after Christmas and does absolutely zilch. Nothing, Barely even gets. I think she sits in a bathrobe, she listens to Christmas music, she stares at her Christmas tree, she watches Christmas movies because she's very involved in her church. And there's a lot going on. Yes, there's a. There's a lot going on. So she. I even told her, I'm like, do you want to come with us on a, you know, a trip? Do you want to the beach with us? Do you want to do this? And she's like, no, that would interrupt me doing nothing.

[C]

So she's been intentional about it.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Everything.

[C]

I'm. I just said, your mom has mastered this.

[A]

No, she's mastered it. And so again, I've asked her to join us on things, and she said nope, because that, that would interfere with me doing nothing. And it's that week. And then she enters the new year completely ready to put on pants.

Whereas.

[C]

Do you think that she would like that? I mean, like, the dismount was interest.

[B]

Well, I think she begins the year.

[C]

Ready to put on pants.

[A]

Well, you know, after, you know, you've been sitting in a bathrobe for a few days, I could put on hard pants right now.

[C]

Well, that's good. Okay, so that's. That's something that doesn't work for me. And the thing that I really want to tackle and take on this year is the, the celebration part of the holidays. And I'm not talking about partying. I'm not talking about like a middle of the night kind of rager. I want to celebrate for me and my family the good stuff. Like, what went right.

What should we be thankful for? What should we celebrate that we did this year? It's at the end of the year, like, take inventory and really, like, not just use it as a metric for the next year, but just sit there.

[A]

And go, we did it.

[C]

Good job, us.

[B]

And I'm not just talking about us.

[C]

The kids, and I mean even anyone around you, like, reach out to someone and say, man, congratulations on this year. And so I don't want that to get lost in everything else that's going on.

[A]

No, I'm here for it. So if you come to the Holderness.

[C]

House, don't expect a lot over the holidays.

[A]

Know that it's probably not as clean as we like it, but it's going to be medium clean. I'm going to offer you medium food. Our house is going to be medium decorated and your gift is going to be medium wrapped. But we're going to have fun.

[B]

Yeah. That's the most important part.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Right.

[C]

We're going to be happy. So, Kim, I do think that this is going to land with some of the people who watch or listen to us on laugh lines because we did get a good email that feels very bare minimum.

[B]

Okay, so let's go to the laugh line.

From Sarah.

[C]

Thank you for writing in, Sarah.

[B]

I am a new listener to your podcast.

[C]

I'm also going through old episodes.

[B]

Today I'm listening to the worst gift.

[C]

I ever received from November 2023.

[B]

I don't have a worst gift story to share, but I do want to.

[C]

Tell you about the party I hosted last Christmas.

[B]

It is called Unwanted Gift Exchange.

[C]

Sarah, I've been to these. They're my favorite.

[A]

Really?

[C]

They're my favorite. Yeah. The invitation description for hers was, did.

[B]

You receive a gift that just isn't. You wrap it up and bring it.

[C]

You might go home with something better.

[B]

Or you might not.

[C]

We'll do a white elephant style exchange and see what happens. She said the party was so much fun and a lot of the women work in the same office and three of them brought gifts that were given to them by the same co worker.

[A]

No, but see, that's my nightmare.

[C]

I don't think the co worker was there. I think it was just okay. Yeah, I love a low effort white elephant. I've been to one of these before and sometimes it elevates where you want the worst gift.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Which is really fun.

[A]

Okay. We also got a voicemail from Amy about photo books.

[E]

I am currently listening to your October 7th episode and just wanted to let you know it made me laugh. Kim was talking about how PC didn't have a first year like photo book and I can totally relate. For whatever reason, I give myself anxiety when it comes to photo books because it's just so much to get the photos in order. I wish sometimes that I was one of those moms that would, you know, do cute books like that. So hearing you guys laugh about it kind of just made me feel a lot better that I don't have one for my second child. And thank you for continuing to do your podcast. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to it.

[A]

Amy, thank you. And thank you for, you know what we're doing, Amy, you and I, we're going medium. All Right. And we're medium. I also, something she said triggered something inside me. I want to be the type of person who does photo books. I'm just not that person. Like, I want to be the type of person who grows a beautiful English garden instead of having a lawn.

I just can't. Yeah.

[C]

Aren't you glad that your second child doesn't care as much about pictures? It's really nice.

[D]

Well, I was just gonna say, okay, your second child doesn't have a photo book. What your second child has is the wisdom from your first child.

[A]

There's so much that's true. Okay, Pam. Not the rotation revolution. Pam. Which, by the way, Sam, the editing of that apology to Pam.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Other Pam called in with some bare minimum trauma.

[C]

Oh, love my Pams.

[A]

About the Presidential Fitness Test.

[F]

Hi, my name is Pam. I'm from Madison, Wisconsin, and listening to one of your episodes where Kim brought back a crazy guilt memory from my childhood of the Presidential Fitness Test. I was a super small winky kid. I had never done a pull up, but one year I actually hung long enough that I qualified for that. And I was super excited because I thought this year will finally be the year. And we got to the mile and I either lost count or I actively cheated. I'm not, I don't remember at this point, but I know that I kind of made up the number of laps I had done. And I still feel really guilty about, I think at some level. So thanks for bringing that back and I share the trauma of that test.

[A]

Pam, welcome to group therapy.

[C]

That's what this podcast based around the Presidential Fitness, which we've all had, this.

[A]

Podcast is group therapy. Thank you for feeling safe enough to share this. I have to say, now that you've come clean, I'm giving you permission to let it go. I will. Also, I'm going to blame the test. It created such stress in our lives that it forced us as children to find ways to. To pass it. People in positions of power have done much worse with their power, but you had the power there. And I'm going to blame the test and how awful it was. It was just. I mean, it continued. Do they have it still?

[C]

If they don't, I have a feeling they're going to like bring it back or something. But I will. I will also say, Pam, while Sam is looking up whether or not they still have the Presidential Fitness Test, I think maybe the line either lost count or actively cheated is a top 10 line we've had on the laugh lines. We should probably keep track of that. But that's on the top 10.

[A]

Either lost out or actively.

[C]

And the delivery was spectacular. So I got a good.

[A]

I got a good friends. Okay.

[D]

Yes. The Presidential Fitness Test is returning to schools after being phased out over a decade ago. President Trump signed an executive order in July 2025 to reinstate the test, citing concerns about declining national health.

[C]

Oh, boy. Okay.

[B]

Is that going.

[C]

Is the Presidential Fitness Test going to return people to. To health? I guess that's the question.

[A]

Here's for some having a goal of being able to run a mile. May you. It may inspire them to. Yeah, for me as a child, I, I don't think it was in my brain that I could train for it. I just thought you had to like magically do it. Like as a nine year old, I wasn't out training.

[D]

But I will say it does say the President's Council on Sports, Fitness and Nutrition has been tasked with developing the new criteria.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So it will not be the same test.

[B]

And you know what I'll be really.

[C]

Pumped about if they do this, because every great trainer or every great workout group that I've been in, it's not about hitting a certain benchmark. It's about improving on your own personal goals. So maybe if that's the case, let's do it.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

That sounds fantastic.

[A]

So for somebody in my shape in when I was 9, it would have been hanging on the bar for 30 seconds. Like that would have been. That's still probably a huge challenge for me.

[B]

But also, like, there's different body types.

[C]

Like it's, you know, I was like a tall, skinny dude. I was gonna have a ridiculous mile time. Not everybody was born a tall skinny dude. So different body types are better at different things. For example, I can't do as many push ups as a guy with, with T Rex arms.

[B]

With T Rex arms.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Everyone in my gym has T Rex arms.

[C]

And it takes me like twice as long to do a push up. So.

[A]

Okay. Lastly, on the laugh lines, we got a note on YouTube about the Max Headroom from a previous episode. So remember, we a lot of people, not a lot. There's like four people who've written in that think that pen looks like Max Headroom. So we did a little bit about it. The the commenter writes, Max was advertised as computer generated, but it was actually actor Max Matt Freirer, wearing a prosthetic makeup, contact lenses, and a plastic suit in front of a green screen.

[C]

So it wasn't a digital character. It was just. And they just edited it with the glitches to make it look like it was a robot.

[B]

Really?

[A]

They did the bare minimum and didn't even know. They weren't even trying to computer generate it, which would have been harder back then.

[C]

It's actually kind of genius.

[D]

That's so funny that you're mind blown by this because like I had to look him up up to edit the podcast. It was so obvious to me that it was an actor really. But obviously I live in these times.

[A]

In these times.

[C]

In these times.

[B]

Sam, I hate to.

[C]

I don't want to disappoint you, but we're living in these times right now also.

[D]

I'm sorry, like right now, with the knowledge I have.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[D]

I know what computer generated generally looks like. When you guys were kids and when Max Headroom was popular, you didn't know yet, like what was possible and you.

[C]

Never had a chance to see really crappy, right? Yeah, Stuff. That's a good point.

[A]

It is funny when our kids watch the movies that we thought were just the coolest in the 80s in terms of special effects and now, I mean, you practically see the strings on the Star Wars. You know, they're like, I'm like, no, guys, this was huge. You went to a movie theater. Like, this was game changing. And they're like, mom, I can practically see the guy's hand, like floating the plane through the air. In the spirit of doing the bare minimum, in the spirit of going medium this holiday season, we're gonna end the show today with a game we like to call Bring it back or Pass Holiday edition. More on this after these words.

[B]

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[A]

That's Holderness to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. All right, Pen. The holidays are here, and I'm finding myself caught up in the same pattern.

[C]

Ooh, pattern. What, like plaid or gingham? Like houndstooth?

[A]

Not that pattern. It's just every time I start shopping for my family, I tell myself, okay, I'm be thoughtful. And then at the last minute, I just end up buying a gift card. But this year, no panic. I gave an Aura frame.

[B]

It can be so hard to find a personal gift for the people you're closest to. But nothing beats a picture.

[A]

With one kid in college and the other trying every possible extracurricular activity. Our camera rolls are filled with photos to share with you.

[B]

With Aura Frames, you have unlimited free photos and video. You just download the Aura app and connect to WI Fi.

[A]

Plus there's a gift box included. Every Aura Frame comes packaged in a premium gift box with no price tag.

[B]

And you know what, Kim?

[C]

You can't wrap togetherness, but you can.

[A]

Frame it for a limited time. Save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off Aura's best selling Carver mat frames named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code Laughlines at checkout.

[B]

That's a U R A frames.com promo code laughlines. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out quickly, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays.

[A]

Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[B]

Kim, as you know, I'm on a health kick right now. I'm trying to be proactive about aging.

[C]

And staving off Alzheimer's.

[A]

Yes, and I love being on this journey with you, babe.

[B]

That's why I gifted myself the Brain Health Masterclass to make my life a little better.

[A]

Tell me more.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

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[A]

That sounds amazing. And plans starting at $10 a month billed annually, you get unlimited access to over 200 classes. Top of the world's best business leaders, writers, chefs, and more.

[B]

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[A]

Anywhere, and there's no risk. Every new membership comes with a 30 day money back guarantee.

[B]

And the classes really make a difference. Three out of four surveyed members feel inspired every time they watch Masterclass.

[A]

Masterclass always has great offerings during the holidays days. Sometimes as much as 50% off. So head over to Masterclass.com Holderness for their current offer.

[B]

That's up to 50% off at Masterclass.com Holderness Masterclass.com Holderness.

[A]

Pen. Bring it back or pass. Silver Christmas tree. Tinsel. Icicles. Like those individual strands of silver.

[C]

So just made with little like tiny plastic.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

It gets everywhere. Pass.

[A]

Hear me out.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

My grandmother had them on her tree and I think it would be great.

[C]

So rule number five, not bringing, not doing things because the way they've always been done. Okay, go ahead. I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna.

[A]

If it brings me joy.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Christmas caroling around your neighborhood back.

[C]

It never left.

[A]

It never left. We do Christmas.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, bring it. If you haven't brought it back already, bring it back. Listen, I do this every year and it some people don't answer the door and they receive music anyway.

It's there. There's like there are these kids that I really don't get to see in my neighborhood unless they're jumping in front of my car while I'm trying to drive down the street. And I love seeing them like in a caroling.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Capacity because they're wonderful kids.

[A]

Bring it back or pass. Stopping by unannounced with holiday gifts or treats.

[C]

I'll give you the floor on this one.

[A]

I think that is so cool. And it is such a sweet thing to do to bring something by. But you put it on the doorstep and walk away if you have not texted. This weekend a sweet friend stopped by. Like she was on a walk in the neighborhood and she stopped by. Love this sweet friend. I wasn't wearing a bra and I just don't know if she was. We're not like that close of friends. Like I don't think she was ready for it. So I, I, it was, I was like saw the ring camera. I was sitting at my desk which is right next to the front door. It was a lot. So if you text me and I'll put on a bra. Come on, do it. Bring it. Bring those homemade cookies. But text first. Okay. Bring it back or pass. Calling Santa on the phone and not just any phone, a 1900 number that cost you money.

[C]

Here's a clip.

[B]

Santa here, call 1-900-660-6-6666 and I'll tell you a different Christmas story every day.

[C]

But before you call, listen to old Santa. Your parents have to pay for these.

[B]

Calls, so get their permission first.

[C]

You guys, I somehow I remember this now vividly.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

It is the biggest scam in history, of course, But I also remember asking my mother if I could call Santa.

[B]

Do you know how many people asked.

[C]

Their mom if they could call Santa and their parents had to explain to them right then and there about the magic that happens? Yeah.

[A]

You can't just call Santa, kids.

[B]

That.

[C]

That had to be a unbelievably harmful video.

[A]

So path.

[C]

Yes, yes. Hard path.

[A]

Okay. Waiting for Christmas specials on tv.

[C]

Oh, okay, this is. I get it. Because now you can just watch them whenever.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And they're just streaming. Yeah, I want to bring that back. I. In fact, I think that, like, meet me over here, peacock. Netflix, Hulu. I know y' all are making a lot of money. Take them all out and just have.

[B]

Just a few of them.

[C]

Okay, we got to pick, like, let's pick Rudolph, Frosty, something from the. One of our favorite, like maybe Scrooged or like some good, good movie. And they come on at a certain time on December 23rd, 24th. And you don't stream them.

[B]

You got to watch them right then and there.

[C]

And that way you can be like, texting your friends and be like, oh, we're watching, watching this together.

[B]

Can we make that happen?

[A]

I don't think so. I think the collective. I think the whole, like, premiere thing is really hard to coordinate now. But I, I like that idea.

[B]

I mean, the only way to make.

[C]

It work now would be if someone had a live production of something, Right?

[A]

Yeah. Bring it back. Or pass. Holiday edition Christmas cards without photos. I love a Christmas card without a photo. I love the photos. I love the photos. I'm here for it. I think it is the only reason why some people have family photos because they have to take them with a Christmas card. But, you know, somebody really likes you. Like my dad every year still sends a Christmas card without a photo, and I love it.

[C]

Yeah, my family did Christmas cards without photos my entire childhood. But it was. It wasn't even a card. It was a letter. It was a one page letter of what's been going on in our house and just wishing people merry Christmas. So no Hallmark. It was, you know, going back to Apple ii GS Yep. Like, you know, a mimeograph of that in an envelope. That's what you got from our family. And I tried to do that.

[A]

Remember early in our. Early in our marriage, you sent a very, very funny.

[C]

With movie quotes.

[A]

Yeah. He wrote our entire summary. And I think Lola was a newborn. So this is pre Christmas jammies. And I think because we are who we are and, like, everything got kind of delayed, I think we emailed it, but he only used movie quotes. And it was really funny.

[B]

I enjoyed that.

[C]

So I'm gonna go bring it back.

[A]

I love getting Christmas cards. We keep them displayed. I. I super love them. We have not sent Christmas cards since 2012.

[C]

Should we do a letter?

[A]

You know how much work that would be getting people's addresses? How about this penny?

[C]

Post it on our Facebook.

[A]

No.

[C]

People can.

[A]

No, this is what you're gonna do. If you would like to send a letter next year, you are going to. As we get our Christmas cards in, you are going to log everybody's return address so that we know who we're sending them to, because right now, we just don't know where anybody lives. You are going to make that a. You're going to keep record of that. So then next year you can write the newsletter, address them and know where they're going, and then go to the post office and buy the stamps and send them out.

[B]

Pass.

[A]

So that's why when. When sometimes people say, like, are we gonna send Christmas cards? I don't know. Okay, please. Laugh lines, audience, meet me here.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

If you send a Christmas card with a photo of your gorgeous family and you as the male in a typical heteronormative, like, guy, girl relationship. And you, you know, because our gay friends are like 100 on this. But if. If the man in the relationship scheduled the photo shoot, bought the clothes, got the kids there, paid the photographer, picked the images, designed. Designed the Christmas card. Because there's 97, 000 options. Bought them, had them, shipped to your house, address them, put stamps on them, and put them in the.

[C]

Took them and put them out of hand.

[A]

I'm running out of hand. If you did those things, as the male partner in the relationship, I applaud you. I want. I want your. I want.

[C]

Please email me, send you a Christmas card. I.

[A]

You will get the one. You will get a Christmas card from our family. And we don't send Christmas cards.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

Every time I sit there and I. And open this stack of Christmas cards, which I love, I think about all the effort. Women are Putting into this. And I'm sure there are women that love it, but you cannot tell me that that's not. Not like, there's not a moment where they're just like, are you. Like, they're just. They're really, really resentful at having to do that. I am passionate about this, which is why in our family, we don't send cards, because it would be me sending them. And I think that if we cannot split these duties or rotate these duties, then it is completely unbalanced and unfair. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[C]

I don't have any recourse to that.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[C]

No, no, you're fine.

[B]

I. I honestly think so.

[C]

I'll bet you you would. You list 11 things. I don't think that the. The guys will be like, well, I did two of those things.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But I don't think they did all of them. And sometimes the moms, too.

[A]

I would say if you could do five to six of those things.

[C]

So the majority.

[A]

No. Okay, so if there's 11 things, if you did half as a partner, if you called the photographer, scheduled the photographer, bought the clothes, got yourself there, picked if of it, totally fair that your partner does the other part of it, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Sorry if I scared you a little bit.

[B]

You're fine.

[C]

We just, like. We've never traditionally done that stuff. Like, that's why we have this studio.

[A]

No.

[C]

Well, we made a. We made a music video of our family.

[A]

Yeah, we used to like you. You sent a newsletter, and I worked.

[B]

Pretty hard on that.

[A]

You did?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then we did. And then we started doing the picture thing, and we stopped. We did the Christmas jammies because I. It was out of control. It was too much work.

[B]

But we didn't do that for too many years.

[C]

We did that for. We didn't do it for a couple years.

[A]

Yeah, a couple years. And I. That's why the women that I receive cards from are way stronger than I am. Think about it. If I had more patience, this would not have happened. Because if I had more patience, we never would have made Christmas jammies. We made Christmas jammies because I had no patience to send Christmas cards.

[C]

Had nothing to do with. With. With anything else.

[A]

The whole premise was, this is our video Christmas card. Here's what's happening in our life. It was a newsletter. You had quit your job. We wanted to tell people about that so we could have written a newsletter. But then we would have had to mail it.

[C]

And to be fair, it was the Christmas jammies was the Second one.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

No one knows that. Few people know that. The first one, we did one the year before that was like, it wasn't as much of a bop.

[A]

I know, but it was really cute. I love that one one. I have brought down the mood with my rage, but you guys just got to experience what perimenopause does in real life.

[C]

Oh, yay.

[A]

Yeah. So I. I shared that. But aim for medium, guys. Aim for medium.

[C]

The bare medium.

[A]

The bare medium. Okay, quick note. If you're still with us, we're gonna bring back Dr. Topol in the new year. We got so many questions from all of you, so stay tuned.

[C]

Dr. Topol wrote a book called Super Age. It is fantastic. It is very hopeful. And as sort of a add on to that, since then he's discovered a lot of new and exciting news about ways to really, like, age with, like, a much more healthy forecast. Right. Things like organ clocks. And honestly talks a lot about GLP1s. He also gets really cranky about stuff that he doesn't think is really worth. Worth much. And that was my favorite part of the show. So that's one of the reasons I. We've gotten so many emails.

[A]

Yeah, we have had a lot of emails, a lot of questions. So we're going to bring them back in the new year and in 2026. What do you want more of on this podcast? Who should we interview? What should we be talking about? Are there segments you really love? We love this. This is like our favorite thing. And now would you guys also vote? Should Sunny be a Sunny couch be a permanent fixture in the set?

[C]

Should we take away PC's main sitting area for his Xbox and leave it up here for the podcast? I vote yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

All right. Sunny's gonna do credits. This is how I think Sunny sounds, by the way.

[B]

Laugh Lines is written and produced by Kim Holdenis, Pen Holderness and Ann Marie Tapke with original music by Pen Holderness. It is filmed, edited and live produced by Samuel Samantha Allen by Samantha Allen and hosted by acast. As always, we love to hear from you. Please write to [e-mail] or leave a voicemail at 323-364-3929 using your telly and we will talk to you soon on the Laughline.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

Okay. Hello there, mom and dad. Or mom and mom or dad and dad or parents. Are you about to spend five hours in the car with your beloved kids this holiday season driving to old Granny's house?

[A]

Let us set the scene. I'm picturing screaming, fighting back to back hours of cable, demon Hunter soundtrack on repeat.

[B]

I mean that movie does have some bangers. But anyway, when your ears start to bleed, we have the perfect thing to keep you from rolling out of that moving vehicle. Something for the whole family.

[A]

He's filled with laughs. He's filled with rage. The OG Green give it up for the Grinch voiced by SNL's James Austin Johnson in Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast.

[B]

And like any insufferable influencer these days, he's bringing and his crew of lesser talented friends along for the ride. With a listers like Gronk, Mark Hamill and the Jonas Brothers, there's a little bit of something for everyone.

[A]

Listen to Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts.

[G]

This holiday, Verizon is helping you bundle up incredible gifts and savings. You'll get the latest phone with a new line on my plan and a brand new smartwatch and tablet. No trade in need needed even on our lowest price plan. That's two gifts for your family and one for you. Or two for you and one for someone else or three gifts for you and only you. Either way, you save big on three amazing gifts at Verizon, all on the best 5G network. Visit Verizon today. Rankings based on RootMetric Truth Score Report dated 1 2025. Your results may vary. Service plan required for watch and tablet. Additional terms apply.

[H]

Hey guys, I'm Patrick Schwarzenegger, the founder of Mosh, which is a protein bar made specifically for your brain brain. Our bars are not only nutritious, but they are absolutely delicious and they are loaded with up to 13 grams of protein, only 3 grams of sugar and amazing ingredients that support a healthy brain like lion's mane, Ashwagandha, vitamin B12, vitamin D3 and so much more. But the best part is every time you purchase one of our bars, we donate to Alzheimer's research. So if you want to find ways to give back to others and fuel your body and your brain, Mosh bars are the perfect choice for you.

[C]

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[I]

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