How Did We Survive the 90s?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Laugh Lines with Kim & Penn Holderness
Episode: How Did We Survive the 90s?
Release Date: May 27, 2025

“Laugh Lines with Kim & Penn Holderness” takes a nostalgic dive into the vibrant and sometimes outrageous decade of the 1990s in their latest episode, “How Did We Survive the 90s?”. Hosted by the dynamic duo Kim and Penn Holderness, along with co-host Ann Marie Tapke, the episode is a blend of humor, heartfelt reminiscing, and insightful reflections on how past behaviors and cultural norms contrast sharply with today's societal standards.

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1. Introduction to the 90s Antics

The episode kicks off with Kim and Ann Marie discussing their personal realizations about sleep preferences, humorously highlighting how different desires can coexist thanks to modern solutions like the Sleep Number Smart Bed. This light-hearted start sets the tone for the episode's theme of reconciling past and present experiences.

Notable Quote:
Kim Holderness [01:58]: “When we age, life is like a comedy stage.”

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2. Reminiscing on the 90s: Childhood and High School Memories

Kim delves into her high school dance competitions, sharing a memorable and awkward moment when she received a critique about her visible cellulite during a leotard competition. This story underscores the unrealistic beauty standards of the past and contrasts them with today's more inclusive attitudes.

Notable Quote:
Kim Holderness [07:43]: “They wrote on my sheet, like, her cellulite is visible.”

Ann Marie shares her adventurous yet perilous experiences jumping on trampolines without safety nets, highlighting the carefree (and sometimes reckless) spirit of youth in the 90s.

Notable Quote:
Ann Marie Tapke [08:37]: “No nets. Absolutely not.”

---

3. Listener Voicemails: Surviving the 90s Together

The episode features engaging listener stories that paint a vivid picture of 90s life:

• Jen's Story [09:22]: After winning softball games, her T-ball team would speed down the road in an open truck bed for ice cream, a testament to the spontaneous and communal activities of the time.

• Jamie Mills' Tale [09:44]: Recalling how her high school mascot, Shasta the Tiger, was brought from the zoo for pep rallies, showcasing the unique traditions and school spirit prevalent in the 90s.

• Mark Holland's Experience [22:15]: Recounting how a sheriff doubled as a liquor store owner, allowing minors to purchase alcohol—a reflection of the more lenient attitudes towards underage drinking back then.

Notable Quote:
Jen [09:22]: “We would zip down the road about 55 miles per hour in an open bed of a pickup truck to go get ice cream.”

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4. Reflections on Parenting Styles: Then vs. Now

Kim and Ann Marie engage in a thoughtful conversation about the shift in parenting approaches from the 90s to the present day. They discuss the balance between supervision and independence, contemplating whether modern parenting might be overly protective compared to the more laissez-faire styles of their parents' generation.

Key Points:

• Trust and Independence: Stories like Carolyn’s experience leaving children to navigate train travel alone highlight the high level of trust and responsibility given to kids in the past.

• Overprotection Today: The hosts question if today's parenting is too restrictive, potentially stifling the independence that their own parents fostered.

Notable Quote:
Kim Holderness [29:00]: “Our parents were busy and weren't micromanaging everything with us. Maybe we overcorrected in response.”

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5. Planning and Preserving Memories

A heartfelt discussion ensues about the importance of capturing and preserving life’s moments. Kim humorously proposes reviving the 90s tradition of glamour shots for middle-aged and menopausal women to ensure that there are cherished photos for all stages of life, including funerals.

Notable Quote:
Kim Holderness [34:08]: “I want to bring back glamour shots... make us feel pretty and bring people back to the mall.”

Ann Marie shares a touching story about their cousin Jay's proactive efforts to secure his uncle's ashes, emphasizing the value of planning and memorializing loved ones thoughtfully.

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6. Gen Z Slang Segment: Bridging the Generational Gap

In a new segment aptly named “Gen Z Slang of the Week,” the hosts decode contemporary lingo for their listeners, drawing amusing parallels and contrasts with 90s slang.

Notable Quotes:

• "Snack" Meaning Attractive:
  Ann Marie Tapke [40:41]: “It means someone is attractive... you just call someone a snack.”

• "Bedrot" Meaning Relaxing:
  Kim Holderness [40:03]: “I use it all the time.”

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7. Closing Remarks and Audience Engagement

The episode wraps up with an invitation for listeners to share their own 90s stories through voicemails and emails, fostering a sense of community and shared nostalgia. The hosts also tease future content and segments, ensuring that the conversation remains ongoing and engaging.

---

Conclusion

“How Did We Survive the 90s?” is a delightful journey through the past, filled with laughter, personal anecdotes, and reflective discussions. Kim, Penn, and Ann Marie Holderness successfully capture the essence of the 90s, celebrating its quirks while acknowledging how much has changed. This episode not only entertains but also invites listeners to reminisce and appreciate the collective experiences that have shaped their lives.

Notable Final Quote:
Kim Holderness [40:53]: “This is a family podcast.”

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For more episodes and to share your own 90s survival stories, reach out via voicemail at 323-364-3929 or email at [e-mail].

Transcript

[Kim Holderness]

My husband and I recently realized that neither of us were getting the sleep we deserved, so we sat down and talked about our ideal beds. For him, soft as feathers. For me, firm as a plank. This would be a huge issue if it weren't for the Sleep Number Smart Bed. Thankfully, with our new Sleep Number Smart Bed, we can each dial in our desired Sleep Number settings to our ideal comfort and finally get the sleep we deserve. Plus, the Climate Series feature makes sure our bed stays nice and cool through the warm summer months. Why choose a Sleep Number Smart Bed? So you can choose your ideal comfort on either side. And now it's the Sleep Number Everything Smart Bed Sale. Every Smart Bed and base are on sale during our Memorial Day event. Up to 50% off limited time, exclusively at a Sleep Number store near you. C store or sleepnumber.com for details.

[Penn Holderness]

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[Kim Holderness]

We all belong outside. We're drawn to nature.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Whether it's the recorded sounds of the.

[Guest Speaker]

Ocean we doze off to or the.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Succulents that adorn our homes, nature makes all of our lives, well, better.

[Kim Holderness]

Despite all this, we often go about our busy lives removed from it. But the outdoors is closer than we realize.

[Guest Speaker]

With alltrails, you can discover trails nearby.

[Kim Holderness]

And explore confidently with offline maps and on trail navigation.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Download the free app today.

[Kim Holderness]

How are we alive?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

How have we survived? I have no idea what our voicemail says.

[Kim Holderness]

I hate to tell you it was a long time ago when you were a college student.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

My high school in New Jersey had a female mud wrestling. Hang on. Yeah, we get older every day. Got more wrinkles. That's okay. Yeah, we're laughing. When we age, life is like a comedy stage. And that's why we got flies.

[Kim Holderness]

Hi everybody, I'm Kim Holderness.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

And I'm Penn Holderness. And welcome to Laugh Lines. If you are the type of person who has gotten a late fee from Blockbuster Video or a VHS rewind fee, you're home.

[Kim Holderness]

This week's episode I'm very excited about. It's all about the crazy things we did in the 90s how are we alive?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

How have we survived?

[Kim Holderness]

We're heavy on the laugh lines this episode. So many great voicemails, so many great emails with pictures came in about the antics we got up into the 90s. So lots of comedy and reminiscing today, I will say, and this will be a future Holderness family skitter song. The overarching sentiment is like, we were asking for pictures. They're like, I didn't take pictures of this stuff.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

That's true.

[Kim Holderness]

Because. And I actually, I don't tell my kids all the stuff I did because I was a good kid and I did some really stupid stuff.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah, I mean, obviously we didn't have cell phone cameras. If you wanted to take a picture, you had to like go find the little leather flap that your dad had the camera in and then take it out. And it was, it was a whole rigamarole. So that was probably a good thing considering all the stupid crap we did.

[Kim Holderness]

We did get a voicemail on the laugh line. Let's play that now.

[Penn Holderness]

Part of the show where everyone will find.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Your mind. Hey, this is David from New Jersey.

[Listener]

I think it's awesome you guys have a voicemail hotline.

[Kim Holderness]

Just wanted to call and leave one.

[Listener]

For old times sake. Thank you.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Not lost on us that we have a landline that you can call and that landline will take you to an old timey voicemail. Does it have a beep? You know, I've never actually.

[Kim Holderness]

I have to.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Should we call it?

[Kim Holderness]

Let's see what it says.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

I have no idea what our voicemail says.

[Kim Holderness]

Standby, 323-364-364-3929. We need to have an outgoing message.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

There's gotta be. Right.

[Kim Holderness]

Hey, thanks for calling. This is Kim and this is Penn.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

And this is our podcast hotline. Let's go with it.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah, hotline. Anyway, if you want to leave us a question, that'd be great. We might be able to use your voice on air. Leave us your name if you want to. And where are you from? When did we do that?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Hi, this is Penn. Wondering why we said on air. That's a fairly antiquated reference to like when you're live in a newscast. And I know that's what we did a long time ago, but just calling myself to tell you we need to change that. Exactly. Thanks, love you. Bye.

[Kim Holderness]

Love you, Sel. Okay, so that's what it sounds like. You should call the laugh line, leave us message and maybe we'll put you on air.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Do you remember recording that?

[Kim Holderness]

No memory, no Memory. We asked you guys, like, what did you do in the 90s that like, you would never get away with today? And we have some gold, just pure gold. You're going to hear. But do you have stuff, stuff in the 90s?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah, a lot of it's really, really weird.

[Kim Holderness]

Like, what?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Okay, this may not seem weird to you, but to those of us who are a little bit younger, like, I flew to Ireland with a buddy of mine. This was 1993. I remember it vividly. It was after my freshman year and we were in the smoking section of an airplane. They get above 10,000ft, you know, that little. Which means you can like take your laptop out or you know, like the wifi is available. That dong used to mean you can start smoking. The dong happens. And we're in the smoking section because it was cheaper. Literally every single person on. In that section started smoking like at the exact same time. And you sort of like, to the point that you guys like were like, we need to. I guess we're gonna smoke. So.

[Kim Holderness]

So you did.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

So we had. We're like, if we're gonna get secondhand smoke, we're gonna.

[Kim Holderness]

Let's get real.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

It was all Irish. People were like. And it was a Marlboro Red. It was like six hours of, of secondhand smoke. And so that wasn't that long ago. Like, I was a college student when that happened.

[Kim Holderness]

I hate to tell you.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Huh?

[Kim Holderness]

It was a long time ago when.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

You were a. Yeah, 30 years.

[Kim Holderness]

I never in the 90s was on an airplane because that sounds like such a rich person thing to be on an airplane. So like, I was never on an airplane.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

I didn much, but that was so.

[Kim Holderness]

I, I never experienced that. I wonder what it is that we're doing now that our kids are going to be like, can you believe in the 20s? Because that's what they're going to call it. Because when we went to school, it was the 1900s. Yeah, but like in the 20s that they did. Do you think? I think it's going to be eating out of plastic.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

So my unhinged 90s thing that I can't believe we did is I was in dance competitions and I mean, I was good. I wasn't like.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

No, you were great. I saw you. You were like state ranked competition, whatever level. Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

So I. You'd always go to these state competitions and obviously you dance, but 20% of your score was a leotard competition. So you would go out in like tights in a leotard and you'd stand in Front of the judges. And then you would do like a quarter turn and then a quarter turn and then a quarter turn. So my junior year of high school, and. And this was normal. Your dad, you should be. No, listen. You should be judged on your dancing ability. Fair. But then they're literally just judging your figure. So my junior year. No, my sophomore year, literally, they wrote on my sheet, like, her cellulite is visible. I know, of high school.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

On a piece of paper.

[Kim Holderness]

On a piece of paper that was.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Handed to me by an official.

[Kim Holderness]

By an adult.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yes.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

And they sign their name at the bottom.

[Kim Holderness]

Yes. Okay. I had visible cellulite through my tights. Okay. Then the next year I got mono. And let me tell you, I was the same, like, height. I haven't grown since the seventh grade. So it's the same height I am now, but 20. I lost £20. So I was like, negative. Like, not. I was like, I was actively trying to gain weight. Like, my mom bought cheesecakes and milkshakes and everything. I did it. And I looked very thin, but I knew. I mean, I was trying to gain weight. And they were like, she's too thin. She probably has an eating disorder. Like, they put that on the sheet. So, like, no. So that would never happen now. And I'm so glad.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

All right. I did not wear leotards. I'm thrilled that I didn't wear leotards because this sounds like a nightmare. I did go and jump on a lot of trampolines.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, so many.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

And there were no net. Definitely no nets. Like nets. Absolutely not. But then also there were like no pads on this, like on the spring. So I would. Several times I would go home, like, bloody because I would like lay down or fall down and the coil would expand and then compress and your freaking. But I think loose skin would get caught in the coils and tear your skin off.

[Kim Holderness]

Such a good childhood memory of. In high school, I had a friend with a pool. We pulled the trampoline close to the pool.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Oh, yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

And then you jump from the trampoline into the pool. But there's a good bit of concrete in between. How are we still alive? Yeah, this episode is really just fueled by you on you on the last line. So we have a voicemail from Jen.

[Listener]

After we would win our softball game, we would put your 5 year old T ball team, Everybody would get in the back of the truck and we would zip down the road about 55 miles per hour in an open bed of a pickup truck to go get ice cream.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

This was a common sight in our hometown. There was, in fact, there's. I think we have a picture of my youth group.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

And that was normal. If you went anywhere with youth group, it was one parent who was going to drive because it wasn't like now where you know that now that kids need to go places, the parents will like drop their kids off and like wait in the parking lot and like do something, sit in their laptop or whatever. Then it was like, whoever's running the show, they better have a pickup truck because we got to take 14 kids somewhere and you cram them into the back of a pickup truck.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, those are the days.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah. Can I tell another story?

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

All I wanted for my 11th birthday, my dad had a Suburban. And this was. You know how they have those like running boards that come out?

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

I don't know why. I think they're for people to step up on and get into the truck. This was a permanent running board on both sides of his Suburban. And all I wanted was for him to drive all of my friends around the block holding on to the outside of the truck on running boards on the side of the truck.

[Kim Holderness]

And did he?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yes, of course.

[Kim Holderness]

Again, thank you so much for reaching out, sending us message. This is a winner from Jamie Mills. And we have a picture. If you're watching the YouTube version that we're going to show you, there's a newspaper clipping. My high school mascot was a tiger. Shasta the tiger lived at the local zoo. Every Friday. Friday morning, a group of high school boys literally brought a live tiger from the zoo to the high school auditorium for the pep rally. Later that evening, Shasta the tiger would go to the football game. Shasta was caged, obviously. And the cheerleaders rode atop the cage around the field, cheering during the game. This is amazing.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

I have some follow up questions.

[Kim Holderness]

I have none. This is amazing.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Okay, so the tiger was caged the whole time.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

So I'm imagining from the zoo, these like boys, like pick up the tiger. They have to pick them the cage up to get it in the truck or something.

[Kim Holderness]

I think they probably towed it.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Either way, you're at a stoplight and.

[Kim Holderness]

There'S a tiger and you look to.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

The side and there's Shasta.

[Kim Holderness]

Just like, yeah, poor Shasta.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Can I also say there is no name more 90s for me. Do you remember Shasta?

[Kim Holderness]

I. Is that a soda?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yes. It was like there's Coca Cola, which is, I don't know, probably like in the 12 pack. It was like 20 cents a can. At that time. And there's shasta, which is 3 cents a can.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh yeah.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

And so we got Shasta.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

It was, it was a flat version of Coca Cola that wasn't quite Coca Cola. Like the first time when I would go to, over to my friend's house and have Coca Cola, you were like, oh, it was like flying first class. Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

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[Ann Marie Tapke]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Ann Marie Tapke]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Ann Marie Tapke]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Ann Marie Tapke]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Ann Marie Tapke]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Ann Marie Tapke]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Ann Marie Tapke]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Ann Marie Tapke]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Ann Marie Tapke]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

Are you looking for a new podcast for your kids? Maybe something to hold their attention on car trips?

[Kim Holderness]

We know there are a lot of kids podcasts out there, but we found something we think you're gonna love.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah, while most of those podcasts are.

[Penn Holderness]

Made and hosted by adults, we found one that's for kids. Made by kids and hosted by kids.

[Kim Holderness]

Wild Interest.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Wild Interest.

[Penn Holderness]

It is super well produced with original music, great sound design, and a whole audio mission designed to calm and regulate kids.

[Kim Holderness]

You know, we talk a lot about ADHD in our podcast and one really important thing you can do to thrive with ADHD is regulate your nervous system.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Absolutely. When people get dysregulated, even people without adhd, actually, Kim, it can snowball and.

[Penn Holderness]

Make regular life, well, difficult. Well, Wild Interest is actually designed to help regulate kids nervous system. There's calm music and thoughtful subject matters and the vocal tone and cadence are all made with the same result. In calm and happy kids.

[Kim Holderness]

Parents. Try the Wild Interest podcast. You'll be hooked. And it's in its second season, so there's tons of episodes to enjoy.

[Penn Holderness]

Wild Interest follow wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kim Holderness]

Gina has another one that is just this seems like of course this happened in the 90s. Ready?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

This was technically 1989, but close enough to 90, I'll give them that. Right. My high school in New Jersey had a female mud wrestling. Hang on. Had a female mud wrestling contest in the high school auditorium. So I was thinking it was like in somebody's basement.

[Kim Holderness]

You're my boy blue. Like that.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

In the high school auditorium is part of our senior year events. They set up a boxing ring in the middle of the gym. I remember watching my friends wearing shorts and tanks tops Wrestling in mud to.

[Kim Holderness]

The song welcome to the Jungle by.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Guns and Roses while the crowds cheered on.

[Kim Holderness]

That's incredible. Well, Gina, thank you for sharing that nugget.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Did you have, like a. Did you have a men's beauty pageant at your high school? I'm just realizing we had one and that I. Because I was in student council, I had to do both of them and I had to walk shirtless across the stage. It was called Mr. Jordan. Everyone got oiled up. Right. And it was mostly like, football players who were, like, had great bodies. And because I was in student council, they're like, penn, we need you to do this.

[Kim Holderness]

And there adults around.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah. They not only did I not win, I came nowhere near winning. And when I walked out on stage in, like, I think I wore, like, double boxers or something, there were people in, like, Speedos.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, my God.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

I did, like, double boxers. And I was. Oh. Because you never know what's gonna.

[Kim Holderness]

Well, you think a double boxer is gonna.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

Offer better protection than single?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah. Because you never know what's gonna happen with single. When you're walking around stage.

[Kim Holderness]

Like, what would happen.

[Guest Speaker]

What if you looked over and there was a mud wrestling girl.

[Kim Holderness]

I know. Like, would that happen as a teenager?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

No, not. It's not that. It's that when you walk, your stuff goes back and forth and up and down and everywhere. Yes.

[Kim Holderness]

Is it that?

[Guest Speaker]

Why are you looking at me? I don't know anything.

[Kim Holderness]

I was looking at. See, I'm like. Is it that, like, floppy. Floppy?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

I mean, it depends on how fast you're walking. But, I mean, I was listening, hustling across that stage. I wore double boxers. Okay, let's move on.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

And I was oiled up. And as I was walking off the stage, someone from the second row yelled out, somebody needs to feed that man. And the entire auditorium laughed at me.

[Kim Holderness]

I'm sorry.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

So look, that sucked. I don't think I have any, like, long term effects except the fact that I hate my body naked.

[Kim Holderness]

But it's totally fine.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

But everything. Everything's totally fine. Is that what it was?

[Kim Holderness]

You know what? We did not intend for this podcast to go that deep, but I think we've just uncovered a lot of our issues. We have another call from the laugh line. Here's a voicemail from Ann in homec.

[Listener]

We all meet our parents astray. Literally. It was melted plastic with a little.

[Kim Holderness]

Finger dip for the cigarette, I have to say. Amy Laurenston sent us a photo of an ashtray from. It was a Chuck E. Cheese branded ashtray. Chuck E. Cheese, obviously, being just, like the place I always wanted to go. This, like, really weird kid play area that I think is still in business. But they had ashtrays. Again, back to the smoking. What were we thinking?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

I mean, I grew up in Durham.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, yeah.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

So you just smelled it. You woke up and you. You got out of. You know, you got in a bus and you went to school, but on the way, you smelled cigarettes. Okay. I was in that show choir that I tell you about all the time. And there was a local musician who decided that he wanted to write a song about Durham.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Everything's got a song, right?

[Kim Holderness]

Everything has a song.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

And I still remember the first because we had this. We were the first ones to perform it because this.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, sing it now for me, please.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

The smell of cured tobacco Lingers lightly in the air Alone me with freight train whistles through the night and at the summer I can hear the fans all scream Cheering for the baseball team. These are something. Something I hate to leave behind. And then, of course, they had to rhyme it Durham. I sure am sorry to believe in you.

[Kim Holderness]

Keep going, keep going.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Well, I don't remember all of it.

[Kim Holderness]

But you remember enough. Okay, so.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

But the first line is, the smell of cured tobacco lingers lightly, lightly, lightly in the air, which is what he's. That was an accurate depiction of Durham.

[Kim Holderness]

Wow.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

It just smelled like tobacco.

[Kim Holderness]

I grew up in Florida and Brainton, Florida.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Orange.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah. So the Tropicana, like, big factories there near my high school. And they would burn the orange peels. So during, like, pe, you'd be like, orange. I had orange groves all around me growing up. Like, I. That's like. I grew up in the middle of orange groves. Beautiful smell of orange groves, orange peels burning. Not amazing. So. Yeah, but mine was probably a little healthier than years. No songs about it. No songs.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Did your high school have a smoking section?

[Kim Holderness]

No, but we had a. Maybe. Maybe we did. I don't. I don't have a memory of that. A lot of people wrote in saying that their high school had smoking section.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Did you ever buy cigarettes for your mom at the corner store with a note when you were 11? Because Shirley Jan Griffiths did. And that tracks also. So my Note, like, hi, Mr. Jones. These are for my mom. Can I please have cigarettes?

[Kim Holderness]

My mother was very anti smoking, so I never did that. But did I walk with friends to the Circle K to buy cigarettes for their parents with a note? 100%. And the fact that they're like, oh, yeah, it's for your mom. Here's a note. Like, I don't even know that they asked for a note. I think they're just like, you say, it's for your mom. Gotcha. And we weren't smoking the cigarettes, but, like, it didn't even dawn on us that we could. Mark Holland remembers buying liquor at 15 from the sheriff working the drive thru at the liquor store he owns.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

So there was a drive through liquor store when this guy was 15.

[Kim Holderness]

Bonus. I was on a moped and he was in full uniform because he just left the courthouse.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

All right, so Mark rolls up in a moped at 15. The sheriff obviously knows how old he is.

[Kim Holderness]

Drive thru liquor stores seemed odd to me, but in Gainesville, where I was at the University of Florida, there was a drive thru liquor store. It was great. I mean, it was so like the open container, but it was great. And like, they were real loosey goosey on the ID requirements is all I'll say back then.

[Guest Speaker]

I just love the concept of sheriff by day, liquor store owner by night. Like, what an entrepreneur.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

I agree.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay, now on to the stupid things we survived in cars. Matt Destefano. Destefano. Destefano. He writes, I saw the prompt asking about things that we did in the 90s that would never be allowed today. I can't believe I'm sending this, but one of the most fun things my dad used to do with my brothers and I was when he had a sedan, he would put us in the trunk and then he would drive extra fast on the road with one of those bumps that made your stomach drop a little bit. We would always get air in the trunk and laugh so hard. We did this for years. Have you ever?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

You've been in a trunk.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Not with my dad, but I've done this before.

[Kim Holderness]

But have you ever, like, oh, there's no room in the car. I'll go in the trunk.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Oh, yeah. 100.

[Kim Holderness]

I know my mother is shocked to hear this, but I did this too.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

And what would you. If I found out that one of my kids got into the trunk of a car, I. They would lose cell phone privileges. They would lose. Like. Like, can you imagine? And then this is the dad purposely putting his kids in a trunk.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

I'm giving Mr. DiStefano a pass because he has created a core memory for his son, and I love it.

[Kim Holderness]

He survived it.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah. And I guarantee you, like, that's going to be something he'll remember for the rest of his life. It was probably a rite of passage. Was it stupid? Yes. But it's like, it's making the world. Like, this is making the world a better place. This is strengthening the bond between a father and his son. I'm just saying. Yeah. Or.

[Kim Holderness]

Or no, no, no. Here's what I'm getting to here. Because we're talking about a lot of things like, oh, can you believe we're alive? Can you believe we didn't wear helmets? Is there a case to be made that, like, maybe just now we're too overprotective and we should let our kids have a little brain damage? Like, are we. I mean, maybe we are just too crazy right now.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

I am such a safety Susie.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Right.

[Kim Holderness]

Maybe it's too much.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

So you are, first of all, very self aware.

[Kim Holderness]

Right.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

And that's one of the things I think I. At our wedding night, this was in the homily. Like, I love how self aware you are. It's one of your best qualities. So you saying that you are fairly protective of your children, I think is accurate. Right. I think you and I probably have different things that we are. That we are passionate about when it comes to protecting. And I do think this is a very subjective thing. I'm glad we're talking about this, because this entire thing is subjective.

[Kim Holderness]

Right.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Like, we're not shaming anybody for anything that they did.

[Kim Holderness]

Right.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

We're laughing at it because in hindsight, how are we still alive? Like, going to get cigarettes for your mom. Your mom bored cigarettes. And there was nothing wrong with cigarettes. And she had crap to do. She's making dinner. Go get me some cigarettes. You know what my kids like. I can't afford to take him to Disney World. Let's get in the trunk and go zero g off of. Off a road. I get it. Like, that's. That's like. That sounds like something that my dad would have done for me.

[Kim Holderness]

Let's play another voicemail. This one's about road trips.

[Listener]

My mom allows for me to do that. I have not heard a single parent allow their children to do was to let your young teen daughter with other teen girls. So I'm talking about maybe junior and senior year of high school in the 1990s. Do road trips cross state lines? She let me go. My mom did. I don't think I would let my own daughter go. I would want to say that I would say yes because it was so valuable. It made me so not afraid when I was going off to school myself. But I'm just not so sure I would say yes.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, that is such a good question. So we Did a lot of. We would do a lot of road trips in high school just to, like, the other coast or go to the beach or, like, go to the other coast to go the beach. We did loud. Our. Our daughter, she was not even 16, but her friend turned 16 to go to Richmond. Her. Her friend was super into Hairspray, the musical, and Hairspray was playing in Richmond, and she asked, like, could I drive to Richmond and back in one day and bring Lola? And lola was still 15, and I was like, here we go. And she, like, mapped it all out, and I was tracking her the entire time. They parked, they went to. They went to lunch, they went to the show, and they turned around, drove back. Well, that's from our house. It's like three hours. So this girl drove, like, six hours in one day, and I was tracking her every minute.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

It's. It's so subjective. Yeah, but listen to. Did you hear what she said? That did for her?

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

The. The amount of confidence that she got from it and realizing, okay, this world is not scary. This world is wonderful. And, yes, there's risk, but being able to assume that risk and end up on the other side of it, like, that's going to make you a better person. I would absolutely. I would encourage it. I would encourage road trips. I mean, I know stuff might go wrong, but there's cops and there's. Most of these cars have collision beepers. And, you know, I think. I think you just got to roll the dice sometimes.

[Kim Holderness]

What about this from Lori Bukus? Do you want to read this one? Would you allow your kid to do this one?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

So in college, the fraternity where I was a little sister at rented a large U Haul and drove to a college to visit a sister fraternity that was about three hours away. There must have been 20 kids with a keg in the back. I don't know them all very well. No cell phones. Nobody knew where I was. We even stopped at a gas station, and we all got out to use the bathroom. Crazy what we did. Okay, so she's.

[Kim Holderness]

It's in the back of the back.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Of a u haul with 20 kegs.

[Kim Holderness]

Or 20 people in a keg. Yeah, yeah.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Just goes to show boys can be trusted. While we're talking about u hauls with 20 dudes, let's talk about really, like, what the overlying thing has been for the last few minutes, and that is supervision.

[Kim Holderness]

Or the lack thereof.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yes, or the lack thereof. Now we supervise our kids probably more than we were supervised. That's full stop. The. What was the Term the latchkey kids like you. Just like when we got home from school, there was, you know, there was a key under a rock, and you open the door and you're on your own until your kids get home from work, full stop. That is not our. Has not been our journey.

[Kim Holderness]

So here's my theory. Our parents are for, like, the baby boomer generation, and they had other things to do. Their entire lives did not revolve around their children. They. My. My parents loved us and they gave us a great childhood, but in a lot of ways, I think a much better childhood because they weren't hovering over us. And if I wanted to do an extracurricular activity, I sort of had to figure it out myself. They had jobs, they were busy, and they weren't micromanaging everything with us. I think our generation of parents, in response to that, like, maybe we were craving a little more interaction or maybe we were craving a little bit more, and we have overcorrected. I think I have. I think there was no way. My. Even. Even if my mom had access to monitor me all the time, she would have been like, why would I do that? That's going to take a lot of time and mental energy. She would have been too smart for that.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

So Gail Culp wrote, and I would get dropped off at the mall to meet friends, and there would be no adults in charge for hours, and we would wander around. I was 10 years old. Yes. Yeah, same.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

I was babysitting groups of children at age 10 for, like, the entire summer. Like, yeah, yeah.

[Guest Speaker]

Let's see what Carolyn has to say about her train experience as a kid.

[Listener]

So back in the 90s, my mom would put us on the Amtrak train in Boston to go visit our grandmother, and the instructions were to get off the train two stops after Newark, New Jersey. I was in middle school, and my sisters were in the early stages of elementary school. There were no cell phones. She just trusted that my grandmother would be at the train station and that nothing would happen in between. And we did successfully make it there. And then my grandmother would do the same thing and put us all back on the train to go back up to Boston.

[Kim Holderness]

I think that's great.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Carolyn, though, learned. I bet you she felt very capable as a caregiver and as even like a potential parent, she would have gotten off the train if grandma wasn't there. They had these things called payphones, and you could make these things called collect calls if you didn't have a quarter. And that would have been the next step, because I remember getting Bailed out a lot of times in my life by the old collect call.

[Kim Holderness]

I think there was just a general trust that you would get to where you were supposed to be. And like, I was going to meet my friends at the mall at the Orange Julius at nine, and we would all figure out a way to be there. And we just sort of trusted that you had to stick to the plan. This next one is wild. This is Katherine McCabe. My mother allowed me at age 17 to spend six summer weeks in the UK with my then boyfriend. It was 1997. International calls were crazy expensive. So I maybe talked to her for five minutes once a week. I had worked and saved money to pay my own way. So at the time, it seemed perfectly reasonable. But every time I think of it now, I'm like, what the hell, Mom?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

You let me do this.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah. So that's where I'm like, who? Who was in charge? So, okay, our daughter is 18 now.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yes.

[Kim Holderness]

So she doesn't have a boyfriend.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Right.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay. But if she had a boyfriend and she said, hey, mom and dad, for six weeks this summer. Well, I guess it would have been last summer.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

I'm a junior, and before my senior year, I want to go spend six weeks in the UK without a cell phone with my boyfriend. What would you have said?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

This is not going to be popular. I would say, can you make it three? Can you make it three weeks? Six weeks seems like a lot of time, you guys. My daughter is so tough. I'm not worried about her. I'm worried about the other guy. She is so strong. She's sure of herself. I think she can do anything. I think my daughter can do anything that I can do. I just watched her get through high school, you know, when stuff went wrong, she went into her room and she worked hard and she fixed it. When she played in a tennis match and she went down, she dug deep and found something inside that I haven't seen in most men that age. So I would say, can you make it a little bit shorter of a trip? And then I would say yes. For that particular girl, yes.

[Kim Holderness]

Obviously, Katherine's mother trusted her, and I trust my daughter. But no, I mean that you're too young. I think your frontal lobe is not fully developed. You're gonna make some bad decisions about things. And this is where we're different. And also, Lola would never have asked to do that. Like, she. She never would have. But that. But in the 90s, maybe. But this is just where my. Our parenting is so different. And of course, I trust Her. There is a difference between 17 and 18. So 18, she's about, she's. I keep saying, I'm like, she's, you know, signing up for things and whatever. I'm like, you're 18, this is all you now.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

So like, yeah, that's true. If she's 17, my answer is no.

[Kim Holderness]

So I think that changes your answer though.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

But would you say yes right now if she, she did that?

[Kim Holderness]

I, I would have resisted her being away that long, but I would have said, yeah, three weeks. Yeah. So I want to end with some of the things I would like to bring back.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Oh, good.

[Kim Holderness]

From the 90s. Okay. Gail Culp. We actually wore winter coats in the 90s. I haven't seen a single kid or teen in the winter wear coat. They just wear hoodies and they look miserable. Yes, let's bring back winter coats. And also I want to bring back glamour shots like in the mall. Bring back glamour shots. Those were for the rich kids, so I never had glamour shots growing up. Well, no, no shots. So they would do your hair and makeup. Oh, they would do your hair makeup and you. And they would have like a magic filter on it because everybody who star filter everybody looked so good. Hear me out. Glamour shots, if you're still in business. If not, maybe re rack. But like do it at the Gen X menopausal people now. Right. Because we have glamour shots. It's like nostalgic, but do it for menopausal women and make it like a little party with your friends. And you know how like, listen, I think we should start thinking about this. We need to have really good pictures for our funerals. We're not going to die for many, many years. But I'm in charge of all of the funeral slideshows for families. Right. For both of our families. And there is a lull. There's all the pictures when they're really young and there's a lot of pictures when they become grandparents. Right. That middle aged time, there is never good pictures. I could not find any great middle aged pictures of your dad, for example. So I feel like glamour shots could pick up the slack, make us feel pretty, bring people back to the mall and market to menopausal women. And then that way for our funeral slideshows, we're gonna live a lot longer. But that way, in our like 40s and 50s, we have good pictures. Rant over. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

I wanna give you credit, as always, for thinking ahead. That's one of your, one of your best qualities Are we thinking a little too far ahead here?

[Kim Holderness]

I'm a planner, okay?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

You're planning your own funeral right now.

[Kim Holderness]

You know what a gift your dad gave us. Your dad planned his own funeral down to, like, the hymn.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

It still was a rigmarole.

[Kim Holderness]

No, it's still. But that is such. But what a gift. I can leave my family is like a little file that says, hey, these are the photos I want you to use because I'm sorry, Like in the photos we have of your dad older in life. Like, yeah, he looked great, but he was older. But it was like, I either have him at 20 or at 80. You know what I mean? I didn't have a good, like, 45.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Got it.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Okay. It doesn't matter how well you plan a funeral. Something is going to go wrong. My dad was a no show for the first part of. Of his funeral because they forgot to bring his ashes. And so there was like a whole. There was a ceremony. And, like, so half of them, half of them were supposed to go to Cape Lookout. There was scatter them a year later. The other half are supposed to be at the church. So they got there in time, like, just barely in time for the. The kind of church side thing. And then my cousin Jay, who, like you as a planner, he got to thinking. He was like, so wait a minute, what if, like, those were having trouble in transit? What if we don't have the other ashes that he was supposed to scatter at the beach? So we're at the reception, and there's a lot a reception line coming to, like, hug you and say hello. And my cousin Jay comes up to me, gets, like, right in my ear. He goes, I don't really know how to say this, but I'm packing a little bit of haywood right here in my inside pocket. And I was like, what? He goes, me and Carlton, his son, went and back after everybody left and got a Ziploc. They were like, we were just worried, like, what if there's nothing left for Cape Lookout? And I know how much that's going to mean. And scooped like, a little bit of haywood in a Ziploc. And so he hands it. We're in the middle of the reception line. He hands me a Ziploc bag with a thin, fine powder in it. You have to laugh and oh, my God. Well, first of all, like, that's a core experience with your son.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah, that's what you do to go.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Dig up your uncle's ashes just in case we didn't have any. And also, I was eternally grateful for, A, the laugh.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

And. And B, the planning. So you and Jay, your kindred spirits, you're trying to plan my funeral and get good photographs for your own funeral and.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah, it's great.

[Guest Speaker]

I do have a funny story. I saw this news article. This woman, Michelle, her funeral, she had cancer. She knew she was gonna die, so she hired a plane to send a message over the funeral.

[Kim Holderness]

Stop it.

[Guest Speaker]

I'm watching you cry harder.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Oh, my God. Xxx so that was flown over.

[Guest Speaker]

Over the funeral she had a week before. Had paid for it.

[Kim Holderness]

I love. See, these are the sort of things I want to happen at my funeral. Like, I want to be fun. I want to be fun, and I want you to cry harder. Depending on, like, how I go out, I'll probably even do. Like I said, I want the best angles. I want. Yeah. I want my slideshow to really. I put a lot of work into these slideshows, I'll have you know.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yes, you do. And to the point that you are putting work into them 40 years ahead of time. And that's amazing.

[Kim Holderness]

That was so fun. Thank you to everyone who sent us emails. If you'd like to leave us a voicemail about whatever you want to talk about, call us at 323-364-3929. Also@podcastheholdernessf family.com. but before we go, we have a new segment in honor of today's show.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Are we doing the segment?

[Kim Holderness]

We're doing a segment.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

It's called what the Gen Zers are saying. Translating for people in the 90s.

[Kim Holderness]

If you were born in the 1900s like us. Yeah, we'll. We'll teach you what your kids are saying.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

So many options. Okay.

[Kim Holderness]

The Gen Z word of the day. Up meaning opponent or hater.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

For those of you in the 90s, hater equals op.

[Kim Holderness]

My next favorite Gen Z word. And I have totally adopted this into my language. Bedrot. It just means you are relaxing.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

This is a good one.

[Kim Holderness]

I use this all the time.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Like I've been bed rotting all weekend. Right. Or in the 90s, we would have said chillax. I've been chillaxing all weekend.

[Kim Holderness]

Yes, chillax.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

It's a portmanteau. It's chill and relax. You put it together, it feels nice.

[Kim Holderness]

You just wanted to say portmanteau.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

No, it. That. But that's what it is.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah. No, I don't. I don't. Did we say she locks?

[Ann Marie Tapke]

I. I think that by the time I said it, it was not. It wasn't cool. Anymore. Which is most things.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah. I don't know if I ever. Okay, so Gen Z, here's another one. Snack means attractive. What we would have said is fly.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah. A new snack.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

I will say the first time I heard it I was like, this is a little creepy to call it a.

[Kim Holderness]

Snack, but now what do you mean it is snack. Like she's a snack.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah. Like just, just call.

[Kim Holderness]

You're a snack.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Yeah, it's just to call someone a snack.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, I like it.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

But it insinuates that you like.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh yeah. Okay.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

Anyway.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay. This is a family podcast. Okay, now time for the credits. Let's see for the first time ever, if Pen can get this right.

[Ann Marie Tapke]

We haven't gotten these perfect yet before, have we? Okay, Laugh Lines is written and produced by Kim Holderness, Penn Holderness and Ann Marie Tapke with original music by Pen Holderness. It is filmed, edited and live produced by Sam Allen and hosted by acast. As always, we love to hear from you. Please write to us at podcastheholdernessfamily.com or leave a voicemail on our voicemail at 323-364-3929 and we will talk to you soon on the Laughline.

[Kim Holderness]

Bye.

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