Life On The Spectrum with Tanner Smith

Summary

Laugh Lines with Kim & Penn Holderness

Episode: Life On The Spectrum with Tanner Smith

Release Date: April 14, 2026
Guests: Tanner Smith ("Love on the Spectrum"), Midge Smith (Tanner's sister)
Main Theme: Finding Joy, Life with Autism, Everyday Inclusion

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Episode Overview

In this uplifting and candid episode, Kim and Penn Holderness are joined by Tanner Smith, celebrated for his joyful spirit on Netflix’s "Love on the Spectrum." The conversation centers on finding joy, thriving with autism, personal growth, and the importance of inclusion. The episode also features insights from Tanner’s sister, Midge Smith, who discusses the Wable app for the neurodivergent community. Through stories, laughter, and memorable moments, listeners gain an inside look at Tanner’s daily life, purpose, and hard-won tips for happiness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing Tanner Smith (07:09–08:13)

• Kim and Penn gush over Tanner’s positive energy, noting how his outlook inspires others.
• Origin of Joy:
  • Tanner: “My friends and family and God... I’m so thankful for myself and I’m thankful for everything I have.” (07:44)
  • Kim: “That is so perfect.”
• On Joy’s Source:
  • Tanner: “I think joy comes from not just from me, but from the people around me.” (08:00)

2. Understanding Autism—Perspectives from Tanner (08:16–09:15)

• Describe Autism:
  • “My autism... makes my brain work a little differently, it makes me learn differently. And I have strong interests in things. I obsess about them, but not in a bad way. I just love them.” (08:16)
  • Stresses autism is unique to each person.
  • Notes his independence: “I live by myself and I don’t need a lot of help.” (08:46)
• Special Interests:
  • A self-proclaimed “dinosaur expert” who teaches friends dinosaur facts.
  • Delights in sharing his T. Rex and paleontology knowledge. (09:02–10:07)
  • Memorable Exchange: Penn tries to relate his long arms to pterodactyls, but Tanner corrects him: “Except pterodactyls don’t have arms. They have wings.” (09:39–09:41)

3. Challenges & Inspiration for Parents (10:09–11:07, 14:33–14:49)

• On Learning and Purpose:
  • “It might take time for them to learn, but they’ll learn.” (10:15, 14:33)
  • Advocates for giving time and purpose to neurodivergent children.
• Advice for Parents:
  • Tanner: “It might take time for their children to learn, but they’ll learn.” (14:33)
  • Penn: Connects this to his own ADHD, relating to the concept of a ‘delay, not a deficit.’
  • Tanner: “That’s not bad... It’s just later.” (14:56–14:57)

4. Tanner’s Daily Life, Routines, and Independence (11:24–13:07)

• Daily Routine:
  • Up at 6:00 AM, breakfast, hygiene, work until 1:00 PM, walks, music, reading, dinner, movies, bed at 10:00 PM.
  • Weekly check-ins and workouts with his friend Zach; uses systems for ordering groceries via Instacart.
• Social Life:
  • Group activities include birthday celebrations, pool parties, pizza nights, axe throwing, football, and walks in botanical gardens.
  • Penn: “You go to breakfast, work out, we throw axes ... Axe throwing?” (13:18)

5. Hobbies & Interests—From Dinosaurs to Country Music (13:34–14:19)

• Outside of Work:
  • Finds peace being outside: “It makes me really happy. It makes... it’s very peaceful. It makes me feel grounded.” (13:56)
  • Loves country music: “Like Morgan Wallet and Luke Combs.” (14:19)

6. Life On The Spectrum and Defining Personal Purpose (11:07–12:05, 10:26–10:45)

• On the Netflix Show:
  • Learned “I need to make my own decision. I’m not interested in dating right now.” (10:52–11:07)
  • Teasers for the new season: “You’ll have to wait and see!” (11:13)
• Personal Goals:
  • To be a role model for what’s possible, advocate for employment in the disabled community.

7. Dreams for the Future and New Ventures (18:04–19:25, 19:40–20:16)

• Plans:
  • Moving to Columbia at 35 to work at the Lantern hotel (modeled after Shepherd’s Hotel), followed by retirement at 50—“and then I’ll still be busy. I’ll help our farm... I’ll give out drinks to little older men who need drinks.” (23:27–23:38)
  • Hosting a children’s show “Think Tank” where he aims to “teach kids about routines, ring and go on lots of adventures with them.” (18:08)
  • Hoping to act in a Hallmark Christmas movie: “I’ll play a character who has autism and lives with a family on a peanut farm. And my character name will be Joe.” (19:06)
• On Unexpected Success:
  • Kim: “Did you ever think...that you would have been on a TV show, you might be in a movie, you might be a ambassador for an app?”
  • Tanner: “No, I did not think that would happen yet.” (20:36)

8. How Tanner Learned Independent Living (20:38–22:40)

• Learning Life Skills:
  • Gained independence in cleaning, cooking, and bed-making; credits his mom for initial help but now does it alone.
  • Relates to Kim & Penn’s struggles with ADHD and learning systems (timers, lists).
  • Cooking Class: “We cook chili and cornbread... sausage and French toast for breakfast.” (22:27–22:48)

9. Optimism, Support Networks, and Conversation Mastery (15:01–15:14, 29:42–30:38, 30:15–30:32)

• Family Support:
  • Grateful for both his mom and sister: “My mom was a really good mom and Midge was a good sister too.” (15:01)
• On Conversations:
  • Practiced shorter, more reciprocal answers with his mom and Midge.
  • “I can teach them how to comment back too.” (29:49)
  • Kim: “You really could teach lessons on how to have a conversation.” (29:45)

10. Tanner Interviews Kim & Penn (24:38–28:34)

• Playful Role Reversal:
  • Asks about their hobbies (tennis, crossword puzzles), anger management, favorite foods (Tanner’s: chicken tenders, hamburgers, pizza; Penn’s: sushi), and colors (both say “blue”).
  • Tanner’s Affirmations: Recognizes and affirms their choices before sharing his own: “Hey, that’s a good choice for you. We found that. I like sushi. It’s too fishy for me.” (27:32)
• On Upset Days:
  • “Remember, it’s okay to have a bad day. Talk to your friends and family... go on walks and listen to music, because that’s what I do while I’m having a bad day.” (19:40)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Joy:
  • “I’m so thankful for myself and I’m thankful for everything I have.” – Tanner (07:44)
• Unique Lens on Autism:
  • “My autism...makes me learn differently. I have strong interests in things. I obsess about them, but not in a bad way.” – Tanner (08:16)
• Advice to Parents:
  • “It might take time for their children to learn, but they’ll learn.” – Tanner (14:33)
• On Handling Tough Days:
  • “It’s okay to have a bad day...go talk to your friends and family...go on walks and listen to music, because that’s what I do.” – Tanner (19:40)
• Affirming Conversation Style:
  • “Hey, that’s a good choice for you.” – Tanner (multiple instances during his Q&A)
• Future Dreams:
  • “We’re hoping that I’ll be the host of a new kid show called Think Tank. I’ll be like the next Steve on Blue’s Clues.” – Tanner (18:08)
  • “There’s talks [about a Hallmark Christmas movie]...my character name will be Joe.” (19:06)
• Tanner’s unique hobbies:
  • Casually drops axe throwing as a social activity: “Yes, sir. Axe throwing.” (13:32)

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Important Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------|---------------| | Tanner describes his joy and the people behind it | 07:44–08:05 | | Tanner explains his autism and interests | 08:16–09:15 | | Advice for parents of kids with autism | 10:15, 14:33 | | Tanner details his independent daily routine | 11:24–13:07 | | Hobbies, music, and what brings him peace | 13:34–14:19 | | Reflections on “Love on the Spectrum” | 10:52–11:07 | | Dreams: “Think Tank” and Hallmark Movie | 18:08–19:25 | | Unexpected success and gratitude | 20:36, 30:15 | | Tanner interviews Kim & Penn | 24:38–28:34 | | Sister Midge on Wable app and inclusive hiring | 34:04–36:11 | | Kim & Penn’s reflections and “morsels that matter” | 40:52–41:52 |

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Midge Smith’s Contributions

Discussing the Wable App (34:04–36:13)

• Wable (“willing and able”)—a social app for friendships, romance, and employment specifically for the neurodivergent community.
• Employment piece is especially popular: “creating those relationships with organizations all over the United States and the world and just encouraging them to hire inclusively.” (35:31)
• On hiring inclusively: “Tanner and his friends are going to show up on time, they’re motivated, you give them a task, they’re going to do it well.” (35:58)

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Kim & Penn’s Reflections: Key Takeaways ("Morsels That Matter") (40:52–41:52)

• Hiring neurodiverse people brings new perspective and benefit to teams.
• Community brings joy—lean on it during tough times.
• Tanner’s casual axe throwing hobby—an unexpected source of joy and socializing.
• Penn highlights Tanner’s unique conversational approach: affirmation before expressing difference (“That’s a good choice for you”), a model for healthier dialogue.

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Overall Tone

• The conversation is joyful, lighthearted, and deeply compassionate.
• Empathy and gratitude flow throughout, fueled by Tanner’s contagious positivity.
• The mood is supportive, affirming, and uplifting, balancing humor with earnestness.

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For Listeners: Why This Episode Matters

• Inspiration: Tanner’s story challenges assumptions about autism and shows what’s possible with the right support.
• Practical Tips: Systems for independence, affirming conversation techniques, and the value of routine.
• Resource-Sharing: Awareness of the Wable app and businesses like 3-2-1 Coffee supporting inclusion.
• Joy & Gratitude: Concrete demonstration that surrounding oneself with community and focusing on gratitude can bring lasting happiness.

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Memorable Sign-Off:
"Everybody needs a little touch of Tanner." – Kim Holderness (36:21)

For more stories and to share yours:
Call the "laugh line" at 323-364-3929 or email [e-mail]

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Transcript

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[Penn Holderness]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

Create a space she'll love coming home to every day. Plus, take 20% off curated sets. Shop [e-mail] what would you want a parent raising a child with autism to know?

[Tanner Smith]

It might take time for their children to learn, but they'll learn. I want to tell you both I'm thankful for all the. For all the things I have.

[Kim Holderness]

Everybody needs a little touch of Tanner.

[Penn Holderness]

There is a new season coming out.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, sir. There is a new season coming out.

[Penn Holderness]

And will you be part of that season?

[Tanner Smith]

You'll have to wait and see.

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, gosh. Yeah. We get older every day. Got more wrinkles. That's okay.

[Tanner Smith]

Yeah, we're laughing.

[Penn Holderness]

When we age, life is like a comedy stage. And that's why we got laugh lines.

[Kim Holderness]

Hey, everybody, I'm Kim Holderness.

[Penn Holderness]

And I'm Penn Holderness. We are so excited about this episode of laugh lines.

[Kim Holderness]

Yes. If you are old enough to start commenting about how it smells after the rain, then you are home.

[Penn Holderness]

Or if your knee gets a little bit swollen right before it starts raining, you're like, hup, here it comes.

[Kim Holderness]

Has that happened to you?

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

Really?

[Penn Holderness]

My joints swell when they. Yes. And I've heard. I've heard about this before from the olds and now I'm one of them. Oh.

[Kim Holderness]

So, yeah, my goodness.

[Penn Holderness]

But I feel young right now because I've got a super hip T shirt on.

[Kim Holderness]

Tell me about your. For those watching.

[Penn Holderness]

Yep.

[Kim Holderness]

Pen's going to show you his T shirt for those listening. What does his shirt say?

[Penn Holderness]

So this. It says inclusion, always a good idea. Which, as you know, we believe in. This is not real paint.

[Kim Holderness]

This is like, I love the design.

[Penn Holderness]

Anyway, it's. It's from a group called Peace, love and autism. And it's very apropos that we're wearing it today.

[Kim Holderness]

We are so excited. Tanner Smith, who it was made famous by Love on the Spectrum, that show. He is here today and let me tell you the joy that man brings to my heart.

[Penn Holderness]

Before we do that, as always, we like to start out going to the laugh line is the part of the show where everyone will find laugh line. Call us up and you tell us what's on your mind today.

[Kim Holderness]

The theme of the show is joy and how to find joy because that is what Tanner Smith brings to the world. But first we're going to go to the laugh lines because you keep sending us these misheard song lyrics.

[Penn Holderness]

Are we the people who you send that to now?

[Kim Holderness]

I love it.

[Penn Holderness]

Natalie from Texas in our inbox saying, since I know you love Taylor Swift, I thought y' all might get a laugh from this. The first time I heard the Fate of Ophelia on the radio, I thought these were the words. You dug me out of my grave and saved my heart from Darth Vader. Ophelia, now I can't unhear it. I hope you'll listen and agree. Whenever I hear the song now, I try to come up with scenarios in which Ophelia saves someone from Darth Vader. That's exactly what it sounds like.

[Kim Holderness]

That is exactly what it sounds like.

[Penn Holderness]

To be fair, I didn't know what Taylor was saying anyway.

[Kim Holderness]

What is she actually saying?

[Tanner Smith]

Saved my heart from the fate of

[Kim Holderness]

Ophis, the name of this song.

[Penn Holderness]

So we should have known it because it's the name of the song.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, I love it. See, those are the little things that make my heart happy.

[Penn Holderness]

Speaking of making our heart happy, we have incredible guests on the show. Couple of things. Tanner Smith, as we said on Love on the Spectrum, was a big star of that show.

[Tanner Smith]

He.

[Penn Holderness]

You may hear some noise in the background, kind of like some ambient noise. He had two very special people with him. One was his sister Midge, who we'll bring on later on. And she's been like a big help and their relationship is adorable. Also, big shout out to his mom, Nikki, who we've gotten to know in. I'm just gonna break down the fourth wall in the process of bringing him here. Having autism, there can be sensory issues. You can see the love between the two of them and honestly the work that they've done together to make him such an impressive person. And you can see that in Nikki.

[Kim Holderness]

It was better that we do this interview in person. I'm so glad we did. Zoom is hard for me.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, I don't like it either.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah, sometimes. And just to let. You're gonna hear a wonderful interview. But also, there was a point in the conversation where he asked, can I interview you? And he asked Penn a lot of questions and he has done such hard work and such good work about doing conversations like this was literally one of my favorite interviews that we've ever done.

[Penn Holderness]

And we'll be back here to talk a little bit more about some of that stuff at the end. Tanner smith is a 27 year old South Carolina native whose self proclaimed mission in life is to spread joy all around the world. He came into the Public Eye. After appearing in of Netflix's Love on the Spectrum and has captured the hearts of many, Tanner's proud to be thriving on the autism spectrum. He graduated from the Clemson Life program at Clemson University.

[Kim Holderness]

His hope is to be an example of what is possible for others with autism and to bring joy and kindness to everyone. Tanner also hopes to be a strong advocate for employment for the disabled community and to show what valuable assets they are in the workforce. He's been featured on the Kelly Clarkson Show, People magazine, CBS News, red carpets everywhere, and now the laugh lines. Welcome to the show, Tanner Smith. Tanner, you are known for being so incredibly positive. You bring us so much joy. Where does your joy come from?

[Tanner Smith]

My friends and family and God and. Yup. I'm so thankful for myself and I'm thankful for everything I have.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh my gosh. That is so perfect.

[Tanner Smith]

Yeah. Yeah. Is that perfect?

[Penn Holderness]

So you think that joy comes not from you, but from the people around?

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, I think joy comes from not just from me, but from the people around me.

[Penn Holderness]

All right, so you've talked a lot about autism. You've become a spokesperson for all of the wonders of autism.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes.

[Penn Holderness]

How would you describe autism?

[Tanner Smith]

My autism, it makes my brain work a little differently, it makes me learn differently. And I have strong interest in things. I obsess about them, but not in a bad way. I just love them. Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Tanner Smith]

And so Matsum is different than Connors, and Motsim is different than Madison's. Uh huh. And everybody's awesome. It's different and unique. And unique in every way. Some people with Autumn can't talk, but I live by myself and I don't need a lot of help.

[Kim Holderness]

Yes.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, sir.

[Kim Holderness]

You do such a good job. Okay, can you tell us, you said that you get very interested in things. What sort of things are you interested in a dinosaur?

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, dinosaurs. Really? Yes, sir. Because I'm a dinosaur expert.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay. Like, on what level can you and I talk about, like.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, sir.

[Penn Holderness]

Like, what's your favorite dinosaur?

[Tanner Smith]

A T. Rex, of course. So I learned T. Rex is short for Tyrannosaurus rex because I learned that Tyrannosaurus is Greek for tyrant lizard and rex means king Latin.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay. Are you. So are you like a Jurassic park type type dinosaur? Do you like velociraptors?

[Tanner Smith]

That's right. I do like velociraptors. Okay. I like pterodactyls too.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay. Yeah. Pterodactyls are my favorite. I've been compared to one before. Really?

[Tanner Smith]

Because Mr.

[Penn Holderness]

Very Long Arms.

[Kim Holderness]

It's long.

[Tanner Smith]

You do have long arms.

[Penn Holderness]

I do.

[Tanner Smith]

Except Terry dads don't have arms. They have wings.

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, you got me there.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, bust.

[Penn Holderness]

But technically, they're like little hands inside their wings.

[Tanner Smith]

Exactly. Have little hands inside their wings.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah. Would you want to be around when the dinosaurs were around?

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, some of them.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah. Well, like, so, like the nice ones.

[Tanner Smith]

The nice ones, like a brontosaurus or an ultra source.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah. You are an expert on dinosaur.

[Tanner Smith]

Hey. Hey. You know, I'm glad I'm a dinosaur expert because I teach my friends dinosaur facts.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

That is so cool.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes. Is that cool?

[Kim Holderness]

What is something about autism that you wish more people understood?

[Tanner Smith]

I wish people understood that people thought need to need some time and they need purpose. It might take time for them to learn, but they'll learn.

[Penn Holderness]

So purpose. That's such a. Like a key word there. Right?

[Tanner Smith]

Right.

[Penn Holderness]

Do you feel like you're finding your purpose?

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, sir. I feel like I'm finding my purpose. Yes, sir. I do feel like I'm finding my purpose.

[Penn Holderness]

What do you think your purpose is?

[Tanner Smith]

I think my purpose is that mean lots of cool. Cool and unique people and going on all these adventures. Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

You were on a show called Love on the Spectrum.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, ma'.

[Kim Holderness]

Am. What do you think that show taught you about yourself?

[Tanner Smith]

It taught me that I need to make my own decision. Yes, ma'. Am. Yesterday, it taught me that I need to make my own decision. And here's what my decision I made. So I'm not. I'm not interested in dating right now. Okay. And I'm not ready to get married.

[Penn Holderness]

And so, therefore, there is a new season coming out.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, sir, there is a new season coming out.

[Penn Holderness]

And will you be part of that season?

[Tanner Smith]

You'll have to wait and see.

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, gosh. Well, then he's got the television gene, doesn't he?

[Kim Holderness]

Yes.

[Penn Holderness]

All right, so that's a good teaser. Tanner, you live on your own.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, sir, I live on my own.

[Penn Holderness]

You've got a job. Can you tell us, like, just what your normal day looks like?

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, sir. I wake up at 6 o' clock and I'll eat breakfast and I'll make my bed, I'll get dressed, I'll brush my teeth, I'll go straight to work, and I'll get done at one o' clock and I'll eat lunch and I'll go on walk, listen to my music, and I'll come back in and watch movies and read my books and I'll eat dinner and I'll watch some other movies and go take A shower and watch some other movies. And I'll go to bed at 10 o' clock on that Monday, me and my friend Zach will have our workout. On Tuesday, me and Zach will have our other workout in our check in. Do you want me to tell you who Zach is?

[Penn Holderness]

Yes, absolutely.

[Tanner Smith]

So Zach is our friend in Clemson who we do our workouts with and check ins in. So check in means we go over what more foods. What more foods I need and what more bathroom things I need. And we order them on instacart and then we set the time my foods and my bathroom things and then the people bring my groceries. And on Tuesdays, me and my friend Zach, our friends will go out and do our activities.

[Penn Holderness]

I want to know more about your workout.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, sir. Let me tell you what I do in my workout. So Zach has me do pull downs. And he has me do face pulls and calf raises. And Zach has me do lunges. And he has me do this. Yep. Huh. And Zach has me do curls.

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, yeah. Curls for the girls.

[Tanner Smith]

Oh, yeah. Oh, and do you want me to tell you what we do in our activities?

[Penn Holderness]

Absolutely.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, sir. I'll tell you both what we do in our activities. We go celebrate our friends birthdays. And we go pool parties and we have pizza and we go axe throwing. And we go on Bowman Field.

[Penn Holderness]

Just gonna gloss over that.

[Tanner Smith]

And we play football and kickball and we go walk it in the botanical garden. Yep.

[Kim Holderness]

No wonder you have so much joy.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, I mean, look, listen, there was a lot of interesting things you said, but you were like, we go to breakfast, we work out, we throw axes and we go get some coffee. Axe throwing?

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, sir. Axe throwing.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay, tell me more, please.

[Tanner Smith]

Okay, so when you axe throw, they teach us like the way you throw that axe, like I told you, hold it in your right hand and I think you throw it like this.

[Kim Holderness]

What are some things that make you really happy on just an ordinary day? Like without the. If it's a day without ax throwing, just on an ordinary day, what makes you really, really happy?

[Tanner Smith]

Hey, I want to tell you both. Being outside, it makes me really happy. It makes it. It's very peaceful. It makes me feel ground too. Yeah, but, but, but, but I don't mean like a background. Like when mom dad's puncher punch their sons and daughters when they do wrong things. When they ground them, that ground it means I'm like peaceful and. And having fun.

[Kim Holderness]

Yes.

[Tanner Smith]

I draw walks and listen to my music.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, what kind of music do you listen to?

[Tanner Smith]

Country music. Like Morgan Wallet And Luke Combs.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay.

[Penn Holderness]

We have, we have a lot of parents who are raising children with autism who are listening to this right now. What would you want a parent raising a child with autism to know?

[Tanner Smith]

I want their, their parent. Parents raising their children with autism to know. It might take time. It might take time for it, for their children to learn, but they'll learn

[Penn Holderness]

as an ADHD person as well. We always say it's, it's a delay. It takes a little bit of time, right?

[Tanner Smith]

It takes a little bit of time. And we know delay means to, to make, make someone or something late or slow.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

Right. And that's not bad, right?

[Tanner Smith]

That's not bad.

[Penn Holderness]

It's not bad at all. Later.

[Tanner Smith]

That's right. It's just later. It's just there.

[Penn Holderness]

Talk about how your mom was to you as a mom.

[Tanner Smith]

Okay.

[Kim Holderness]

And your sister and your sister.

[Tanner Smith]

My mom was a really good mom and Mitch was a good sister too. Yeah. I remember when we were little, I, I, I, I, I wanted to hug Mitch. Hug, hug Mitch. But she pushed me off because she didn't like it at first when she was really little.

[Penn Holderness]

True.

[Tanner Smith]

Yeah. Yeah. Mitch is true Mitch. Yeah. I think it was probably too tight. It's probably too tight.

[Penn Holderness]

And she probably learned. Hey.

[Tanner Smith]

Yeah, Midge learned. Hey, you learned. Hey, Midge.

[Kim Holderness]

So you told us that maybe dating right now, you don't really want to do that right now.

[Tanner Smith]

No, I learned right now. I don't really want to do that right now, so.

[Kim Holderness]

Very valid. What do you want? What sort of dreams do you have for your future? Okay, more on this after these words.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay. Alert. Alert. We're now doing an ad for MIDI Health, the online experts in menopause and perimenopause.

[Kim Holderness]

If you're about to tune out or fast forward, just hear us out.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah. This is for the women who are feeling overwhelmed, misunderstood, and maybe a little sweaty.

[Kim Holderness]

Dude, those hot flashes are no joke.

[Penn Holderness]

I mean, ladies, has a doctor told you that it's all in your head?

[Kim Holderness]

Or maybe that your symptoms are something you just have to live with?

[Penn Holderness]

Gross, right? Come on. Come on, guys. MIDI Health is fighting back, though, against those antiquated approaches to treating women in midlife.

[Kim Holderness]

MIDI is the only virtual care clinic for women navigating midlife hormonal transition. Created by women for women, MIDI supports

[Penn Holderness]

women with safe, effective FDA approved medications, both hormonal and non hormonal, and treatment is personalized to each woman's specific needs.

[Kim Holderness]

They're available 24, 7 and services are covered by insurance. Book your virtual visit today@join midi.com that's

[Penn Holderness]

join m I-I.com add over I've been

[Kim Holderness]

doing a little spring reset with my closet lately, focusing more on quality over quantity.

[Penn Holderness]

Isn't it nice though to have a wardrobe of pieces that are well made, versatile and easy to reach for every day?

[Kim Holderness]

Exactly. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are thoughtful, and the pricing actually makes sense.

[Penn Holderness]

Quint makes beautiful everyday pieces using premium materials like 100% European linen, organic cotton, and super soft denim. With styles starting at around 50 bucks. Their spring pieces are lightweight, breathable and effortless. It's the kind of things you can throw on and instantly look put together.

[Kim Holderness]

And that same focus on materials carries over into their accessories like their leather bags, which are made from from 100% hand woven Italian leather and honestly look way more expensive than they are.

[Penn Holderness]

Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middleman so that you're paying for quality, not brand markup.

[Kim Holderness]

Quince linen tops have become my go to the fabric feels substantial but easy to wear. And they don't cost what I thought quality linen would.

[Penn Holderness]

Refresh your spring wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.comHolderness for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too.

[Kim Holderness]

Go to Quince.com Holderness for free shipping and 365 day Returns. Quince.comHolderness

[Tanner Smith]

I had my plan to move to Columbia 135. Yes sir. Yes ma'.

[Kim Holderness]

Am.

[Tanner Smith]

And we're hoping that I'll be the host of a new kid show called Think Tank. I'll be like the next eve on Blues Clues and I'll teach kids about routines, ring and go on lots of adventures with them.

[Kim Holderness]

Do you love to teach kids?

[Tanner Smith]

Yep, I love to teach kids. I teach them dinosaur facts. Uh huh.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

[Tanner Smith]

Yeah. And sometimes I like to teach some kids math. Yes. Because I, I love math. I suggesting and subtracting and multiplying.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh my goodness. You're good. You're good at math.

[Tanner Smith]

I am good at math.

[Penn Holderness]

All right. So you're also an ambassador.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, I'm an ambassador. Oh. Also, we're hoping for me to be in this real Hallmark Christmas movie.

[Penn Holderness]

Whoa. Okay.

[Tanner Smith]

Whoa.

[Kim Holderness]

Hallmark?

[Penn Holderness]

There's talks of a Hallmark Christmas movie.

[Tanner Smith]

There's talks.

[Penn Holderness]

So I don't know if you know this, Tanner, but we're were big fans of Hallmark Christmas movies. We've made quite a few videos trying to make our own Hallmark Christmas movies that, that are fun and not as good as Hallmark movie. So we've talked to the people at Hallmark. Tell us more.

[Tanner Smith]

Okay, so I'll play a character who has autumn and who lives with a family on farm, and my character name will be Joe.

[Kim Holderness]

Do you like acting?

[Tanner Smith]

I do like acting.

[Kim Holderness]

That's so exciting.

[Penn Holderness]

That does track, because usually Hallmark Christmas movies are on a farm.

[Tanner Smith]

I'll be on peanut farm.

[Kim Holderness]

I am going to pray this happens.

[Penn Holderness]

Yes.

[Kim Holderness]

And I cannot wait to see this. That's going to be so. It's going to be my new favorite Hallmark movie.

[Tanner Smith]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

If somebody is listening right now and they're having a bad day, what would you want to say to them if they're having a bad day, I want

[Tanner Smith]

to say to them, remember, it's okay to have a bad day when you're having a bad day. You can go talk to your friends and family by it, and you go on walks and listen to music, because that's what I do while I'm having a bad day. It will make you feel better.

[Kim Holderness]

Yes. Oh, that's such good advice. Now you're an ambassador for an app called Wable. Can you tell us anything about that?

[Tanner Smith]

Yes. On Weibull, you can find friendship, love, and jobs.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, my gosh. Has everything.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes. And Mitchell, be working for Holly now. And Holly created it. I'm gonna be a part of it.

[Kim Holderness]

That's so exciting. You are so busy.

[Tanner Smith]

I am so busy, aren't I?

[Kim Holderness]

Yes, you are. When you were a little boy, when you were 12 years old, did you ever think in your life that you would have been on a TV show, you might be in a movie, you might be a ambassador for an app? Did you think that would happen?

[Tanner Smith]

No, I did not think that would happen yet.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah. What are some of the things you remember working when you were a little boy that your mom would. Would. Would help you with that now you could really do on your own?

[Tanner Smith]

Yeah, I remember my mom would help me. I'm like, with cleaning my room some, but. But now I can clean, clean, clean my apartment now. And she would help me cook, but I learned to cook it as I got older. Yeah. Huh. And then she helped me make my bed, but. But now I can make my own bed.

[Penn Holderness]

All right, I want to know more about this, because I'm 15. I'm just now learning how to do a lot of these things because it's the adhd. Right. Like, all the simple stuff, all the easy stuff for me is. Is difficult. And so I've learned to put all of these systems in place.

[Tanner Smith]

Guys, you. Something do you skim of adhd?

[Kim Holderness]

Yes.

[Tanner Smith]

That's so cool. That's so cool.

[Penn Holderness]

We both do. And. And it's interesting. Like, mine, we were both diagnosed later in life. Mine was when I was about 20. Hers was very, very recently.

[Tanner Smith]

Oh, my gosh.

[Penn Holderness]

And we've learned that we've had to just kind of cope with some of the challenges by really putting a system in place. For example, Tanner, I would leave the gas grill on by accident while I was cooking something, and I would almost burn the house down. And so now when I turn the gas grill on, I start a timer that goes off in 20 minutes, no matter what. And when it goes off, it's a reminder. Hey, did you turn off that grill?

[Tanner Smith]

Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

So I'm wondering, like, the way that you've learned how to do all these things on your own, have you had to put some of those sorts of systems in place?

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

[Penn Holderness]

Little hacks.

[Tanner Smith]

I have. Yes, sir.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay, so tell me how it is that you've learned to cook by yourself.

[Tanner Smith]

I've learned how to cook chicken nuggets by myself. And pizza and spaghetti and noodles. And I've learned how to cook chicken pot pies and chicken bacon cheese casseroles.

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, my gosh.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, sir. And spaghetti pies. Yes. Can I tell you both about cooking class?

[Kim Holderness]

I would love to hear about cooking class.

[Tanner Smith]

When we ring clubs to life, these people will come up to our apartment, and we would go over how. How cook foods, and we would eat them for dinner. Can I tell you what. What we've cooked, please? Shrimp tacos and. And pizza rolls. Yep. Ah.

[Kim Holderness]

Yep.

[Tanner Smith]

And we would. We cook chili and. And. And cornbread. Uhhuh. And. And we would cook clink sausage and French. So for breakfast.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, my gosh.

[Penn Holderness]

I think I heard you say that when you were 35, you wanted to move to Colombia. Did I hear that right? I want to make sure I heard that right.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, sir.

[Penn Holderness]

And that's. That's a very specific time. That's eight years from now.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes. Right.

[Penn Holderness]

What made you come upon.

[Tanner Smith]

Because there's this hotel in Columbia called the Lantern. It's a hotel just like the Shepherd's Hotel. And so I've got my plan to work at the Lantern and live in Columbia 15 years and then move back home, Saint Matthews and retire at 50. And my mom gave me that.

[Penn Holderness]

You've got everything mapped out.

[Tanner Smith]

Yeah, I do. I do.

[Penn Holderness]

All right, so let's start. Let's start over. You're 27. You got 35. You want to move to Columbia. And then 50 is retirement.

[Tanner Smith]

Retirement?

[Penn Holderness]

Retire. And then what?

[Tanner Smith]

And then I'll still be busy. I'll help our farm. I'll help on the shop. I'll give out drinks to little older men who need drinks.

[Kim Holderness]

I love this so much. It sounds like you have such a joyful life ahead of you.

[Tanner Smith]

I do. I do.

[Kim Holderness]

Is there anything else that you want to talk about or tell us about dinosaurs?

[Tanner Smith]

Oh, yes, sir. I know the dinosaurs. They also made the sound called bellowing. Bellowing.

[Kim Holderness]

What was it?

[Penn Holderness]

Can you tell me what? Can you give me the.

[Tanner Smith]

It means? It like pain or anger. Like what humans can do sometimes. And dinosaurs can do that, like when they're mad. Hey, lions can bellow. I think tigers and gorillas can. And so can cows and buffaloes. And I think bulls can bellow, too.

[Penn Holderness]

Is that like a dinosaur? Is that like a yes, sir, or

[Tanner Smith]

is it more of a like, can't make it sound because I'm not Iguan Dan. Oh, also, I don't. I learned the bront source when they walk and stomp to sound like thunder. I learned that bron means thunder lizard. And I learned the bront source. We're as big as a bus.

[Penn Holderness]

We had this list of questions for you. We don't need them. Like, that was.

[Tanner Smith]

I want to interview you guys.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, like that. Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

Yes.

[Tanner Smith]

Like ask you things about yourself.

[Penn Holderness]

Yes.

[Tanner Smith]

So, Mr. Pen, what do you like to do for fun?

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, my gosh. Well, first of all, my job is very fun, and so I feel like I'm having fun here right now. Talking to you is some of the most fun I've had all week.

[Tanner Smith]

Oh, yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

So I'll start with that. But when I'm not doing this, I like to do crossword puzzles, and I like to play tennis, and I like to play pickleball.

[Tanner Smith]

Those are good things I do for fun.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Tanner Smith]

And what was the first one you said?

[Penn Holderness]

Crossword puzzles.

[Tanner Smith]

So I'm not with you on the first one because I do crossword puzzles, but I'm with you on the second one because I had to do to play tennis for fun. And I'm with you on the last one because I play pickleball. And, hey, let me tell you some things, what I like to do for fun.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay.

[Tanner Smith]

I go to the zoo.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay.

[Tanner Smith]

I sing songs. I go ice cream. What do you do when you're mad or upset?

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, my gosh. It's a good question. I've had to work on this because the way that my brain is right.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, sir.

[Penn Holderness]

Having ADHD I do something called flooding. It feels like my brain is flooding. And I get really, really mad and I close the door and I rage.

[Tanner Smith]

Hey, what does rage mean?

[Penn Holderness]

I get really angry and I. Since the door is closed, like I might, I might throw a book. I might, I might throw clothing. I. I don't want to hurt anybody. But like this was when I was a kid and so now what I do is I breathe.

[Tanner Smith]

Hey, that's a smart thing for you do when you're mad, upset now and with on that. Because why matters that I breathe too?

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Tanner Smith]

Hey, little boss. I do. I talk my friends and family. I. I listen to music. I go on walks. I take deep breaths.

[Penn Holderness]

That's really good advice.

[Tanner Smith]

Do you like to travel?

[Penn Holderness]

I love to travel.

[Tanner Smith]

Me too. Are, are there any places you've never been to before? Did you want to go to one day space?

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, I'd like to go. I would love to go to space, but I don't know if. I don't know if I would.

[Tanner Smith]

That's a good choice for you. But I'm not booted on that because I don't want to go to space.

[Penn Holderness]

I'd also really like to go to Alaska.

[Tanner Smith]

Hey, that's another good choice. I'm with on the second because one summer I want to go Alaska too.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Tanner Smith]

So why do you like to travel?

[Penn Holderness]

Because this world is gigantic and we have one life to live.

[Tanner Smith]

That's a good reason. Hey, let me tell you two reasons why to travel. Because I had to try new foods and I had to learn what other languages some other people speak in different places.

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, yes, I love that.

[Tanner Smith]

Well, what are some things you don't like to do?

[Penn Holderness]

I don't love picking things up off the floor.

[Tanner Smith]

Hey, I mean that's a good thing for you not like to do. Hey, but I'm not, But I'm not with on that because. Because when there's some things that you'd be picked up, I can do it.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, I should do it. I like and I do do it sometimes, but I just don't like it.

[Tanner Smith]

Let me tell you some things I don't like to do.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay.

[Tanner Smith]

I don't like to water ski. I don't like to snow ski. I don't like to wakeboard. I don't like to play football. I don't like to play chess.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay. Yeah, I mean like the, the skiing can be. It's a lot sort of a loss of control.

[Tanner Smith]

I want snow ski because I don't want to break my leg. I don't want to get a leg injury.

[Penn Holderness]

That's really smart.

[Tanner Smith]

What's your favorite food?

[Penn Holderness]

Sushi.

[Tanner Smith]

Hey, that's a good choice for you. We found that. I like sushi. It's too fishy for me. Let me tell you some of my favorite foods, but my first favorite food is chicken tenders. My second favorite is hamburgers. My third favorite is pizza.

[Penn Holderness]

Can I just say really quickly, I love, love your mode of conversation. You affirm me. You say that's a really good choice for you before telling me that that's not what you like. And it's very like, I want to practice being like this conversationally.

[Kim Holderness]

Yes.

[Penn Holderness]

For the rest of my life knowledge. This is fun. Keep going.

[Tanner Smith]

Okay, so what's your favorite pizza?

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, so I like a meat lovers pizza.

[Tanner Smith]

Yeah. Oh, dude, that's a good choice. I'm with on that because, I mean, lovers pizza, too. Oh, my favorite pizza is pepperoni cheese pizza. Yeah. Pizza with everything I can have on pizza. I don't eat barbecue. Barbecue chicken pizza. Yeah. I don't like pineapple and pizza either.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay. That's a big one, right? Like, do, like, do you go Hawaiian or not? You're a no on the pineapple, right?

[Tanner Smith]

That's right.

[Penn Holderness]

I don't think it's necessary either.

[Kim Holderness]

You have any more questions?

[Tanner Smith]

Yes. What's your favorite color?

[Penn Holderness]

Blue.

[Tanner Smith]

That's my favorite color too.

[Midge Smith]

Yes.

[Penn Holderness]

Let's go.

[Tanner Smith]

And what's your favorite animal?

[Penn Holderness]

Sunny. A dog.

[Tanner Smith]

Gorillas are my favorite animals.

[Penn Holderness]

Wow. Not to interrupt you, but our dog wants you to pet her.

[Tanner Smith]

It's Sunny.

[Penn Holderness]

That's what she. When she's. She will politely come up.

[Tanner Smith]

You're so cute, son. You're so cute.

[Penn Holderness]

But. But while you're doing.

[Kim Holderness]

She likes you.

[Tanner Smith]

Since you have ahc. When you were a little boy. Like when you were a little kid, did you have trouble with some things?

[Penn Holderness]

Yes. What'd you have trouble with? I actually did okay with math. I did okay with vocabulary. I did okay in school. I had a really rough time in the playground when people. When people took the opportunity to. To bully or to. To say things, I got really worked up and I cried really easily. It's okay. Really.

[Tanner Smith]

How old were you?

[Penn Holderness]

I mean, I started crying pretty easily, five or six. And it went almost all the way through high school. Like, I got. It was. I had a tough time regulating my emotions, and I got sad, and I had no way to control it. That was the toughest part for me.

[Tanner Smith]

Hey, guys. At first, I was having trouble having trouble with conversations. When I was 20, 4 and 25. Like, I was firing my answers. I was giving my friends too long list of things I like to do for fun. Yeah. But I practiced it with my mom image. I mean, like, I'm copying back with people. And the truth is I was struggling with conversations at first when I was 24 and 25 because that was part of my autism.

[Kim Holderness]

You do such a good job with conversations.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes, I do. Yes, I do.

[Kim Holderness]

You really could teach. You could teach lessons on how to have a conversation.

[Tanner Smith]

Oh, yeah. With kids who are struggling with people who are struggling with conversations. I can teach them how comment back too.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah. What are some of the things your mom and your sister taught you because you do such a good job?

[Tanner Smith]

They taught me how comment back with my friends, like, and not give them too long list of things probably too fun because it can get overwhelming.

[Kim Holderness]

You know what? That's a really good tip because sometimes

[Tanner Smith]

did not fire answers.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah. Sometimes we just want to. I just told you, you do such a good job.

[Tanner Smith]

Yes. I'm. I want to tell you both I'm thankful for all the. For all the things I have.

[Kim Holderness]

Yes, you are. You are very fortunate. And I think that's why you have so much joy. You have so much gratitude.

[Tanner Smith]

Yeah, I'm thankful for all the things I have. Huh. It makes me so happy.

[Kim Holderness]

You are so much fun.

[Tanner Smith]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm a blessed guy.

[Kim Holderness]

You are. And you bring so much joy to people. And thank you for bringing so much joy to.

[Tanner Smith]

You're welcome. You're welcome.

[Kim Holderness]

Should you switch places with your sister so she can talk to us about the app?

[Tanner Smith]

Yes.

[Kim Holderness]

Would that be okay?

[Tanner Smith]

Yes.

[Kim Holderness]

More on this after these words. This episode is brought to you by Best Western Hotels and Resorts.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay, Kim, if I say spring break, what. What pops into your mind?

[Kim Holderness]

I'm not really sure I could say that this mic is hot.

[Penn Holderness]

Exactly. But, hey, what if we can redefine what spring break looks like for today's travelers?

[Kim Holderness]

More relaxed, more grown up.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah. Like, we deserve a simple trip that is meaningful but doesn't require a ton of planning.

[Kim Holderness]

Well, you know, I love not planning. And I also love a nice getaway that's well earned.

[Penn Holderness]

Couldn't agree more. Spring break isn't what it used to be. It is better this spring.

[Kim Holderness]

Stay three nights and get a $50 Best Western gift card.

[Penn Holderness]

Life's a trip. Make the most of it at best Western.

[Kim Holderness]

Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. Have you noticed your sheets slipping off the corners lately? Or maybe your pillows just don't feel supportive anymore.

[Tanner Smith]

Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

You know, most people actually keep their bedding way longer than they should and it slowly wears down. You don't realize how much it's affecting your sleep until you finally replace it.

[Kim Holderness]

And the truth is, most people think they need a new mattress, but the biggest difference usually comes from replacing what touches you every night.

[Penn Holderness]

That's why we upgraded our bed with bowl and branch.

[Kim Holderness]

They make everything your bed needs. Their signature organic cotton sheets, pillows, blankets and comforters are all designed to be breathable, incredibly soft, and get better over time.

[Penn Holderness]

Most people start with the signature sheets and a lot of customers will buy two sets so that they can rotate them. But we also added the waffle blanket and now the whole bed just feels amazing.

[Kim Holderness]

The moment you get into bed, you really notice the difference. You can't beat the softness of the sheets, the breathability, or how inviting the bed feels at the end of the day.

[Penn Holderness]

We are huge fans of theirs and we encourage you to upgrade your sleep with bowl and branch.

[Kim Holderness]

Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at bowlandbranch.com Holderness with code holderness.

[Penn Holderness]

That's bowl and Branch. B O l l a n-d branch.com Holderness code Holderness to unlock 15 off exclusions apply. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack, hydration and coffee sponsor.

[Kim Holderness]

IQ Bar protein bars, IQ Mix hydration mixes and IQ Joe mushroom coffees are the delicious, low sugar, brain and body fuel you will need to win your day.

[Penn Holderness]

All IQ Bar products are clean, label, certified and entirely free from gluten, dairy, soy, GMOs and artificial ingredients.

[Kim Holderness]

IQ Bars plant protein bars are the smarter snack choice with plenty of plant protein, tons of fiber and no added Sugar.

[Penn Holderness]

With over 25,000 5 star reviews and counting, more people than ever are fueling their busy lifestyles with IQ Bars, Brain and body boosting bars, hydration mixes and mushroom coffees. Their Ultimate Sampler pack includes all three of them.

[Kim Holderness]

I like to keep a mint chocolate chip IQ Bar in my purse for quick protein on the go.

[Penn Holderness]

And you know, right now IQ Bar is offering our special podcast listeners, that's you 20 off all IQ Bar products, including the Ultimate Sampler pack plus free shipping. To get your 20 off, just text Holderness to 64,000.

[Kim Holderness]

Text Holderness to 64,000.

[Penn Holderness]

That's Holderness to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay. Midge. Hey. Hi. Okay, so what's that like being known as Tanner Sister right now?

[Midge Smith]

It's really fun. Literally everywhere I Go. People kind of look at me and they're like, recognize you from somewhere. And I'm like, yeah, you probably do. But it's sweet, the conversations that I'm getting to have and the people I'm interacting with.

[Penn Holderness]

So we just had. We just had Tanner on and I kept looking over at you and you looked like a proud sister.

[Midge Smith]

Yes. Yes, I am very, very proud. He's doing so amazing and you're rocking it. And I've really watched him grow a lot in the past couple years, so it's been fun. I'm kind of famous adjacent. I get to, like, go and watch him do all these incredible things.

[Kim Holderness]

Well, tell us about the work you're doing now.

[Midge Smith]

Yes. So Tanner is an ambassador for the Wable app stands for willing and able. And after he came on as an ambassador, I wanted to meet the founder because she's so cool. So I introduced myself and was not so happy in my career and I was like, hey, girl, if you ever want to hire me, I would love

[Tanner Smith]

to work for you.

[Midge Smith]

It's basically a social networking app specifically for the neurodivergent community to find friends, romance or employment. So she's got a job board on there where we display organizations that are hiring inclusively, places to hang out tab where we, like, list places that are accessible and safe and inclusive. It's just amazing, like, to see a platform that I am sure and feel good about Tanner going on.

[Penn Holderness]

Has there been a particular part of that triangle, like between jobs, friendships and relationships that's really kind of taken off or done, like, extraordinarily well?

[Midge Smith]

We're seeing a really good mix of, like, users. You know, some people are using it for romance. Tanner is, of course, using it more for friendship. I think the employment piece is something that's missing on other apps and that's been a really fun part for me. I'm technically partnerships manager, so creating those relationships with organizations all over the United States and the world and just encouraging them to hire inclusively.

[Kim Holderness]

What is the benefit of hiring inclusively?

[Midge Smith]

Tanner? I think him and his friends just really show what someone who's neurodivergent, they're going to show up on time, they're motivated, you give them a task, they're going to do it well. There's so much and it just creates conversation.

[Kim Holderness]

I just wanted to hear about it because such a.

[Midge Smith]

Thanks for letting me share about it. I really think it's going to be an incredible resource and just a safer space for the neurodivergent community to meet. Each other.

[Kim Holderness]

I love it so much. Let me tell you. I think. I think obviously, Tanner's joy is infectious because that's what he became so beloved for on Love on the Spectrum. But he walked into our house, and he's like. Like, I'm Tanner. I'm here. And he gave me the biggest hug. I was like, that's exactly what I needed today. Everybody needs a little touch of Tanner.

[Penn Holderness]

So I did not watch the show the first time it came around. I understand what the hype is all about now because he is infectiously wonderful. And like, we talked about this before the show, you and I, I think both learned some conversational tips from him during that interview.

[Kim Holderness]

He did such a good job. And honestly, I'm going to talk to our son about his conversation tips because he was. His mom told us he was very intention about learning how to be in conversation because he felt like that was an area in which he was struggling

[Penn Holderness]

and he had to interrupt people while they were talking.

[Kim Holderness]

See, Ben? So I will say that living with ADHD people, sometimes there's. One does not allow another to finish a sentence. And so Tanner has done hard work and carries on such beautiful conversations, allowing people to finish acknowledging what they say and then adding his. These are. I mean, he needs a podcast.

[Penn Holderness]

You. You mentioned something that you're gonna steal from him and that I'm gonna steal from him in conversationally. In conversation. Yours was like the pre. The pre. List of questions.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, and he also. Because he. He did notice that he was struggling with the small talk. Same. Same Tanner. He. He has a list of questions that he's kind of comes equipped with. I think that's a great tip.

[Tanner Smith]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

If you're going into a conversation just having. Just a list of generic questions you can ask people and how to. I love that.

[Penn Holderness]

I think that's what happened at the end. I think I was. His list of questions, and it was so much fun.

[Kim Holderness]

I love it so much.

[Penn Holderness]

And then, man, this part's amazing. He waited for me to finish, and he always ended with. I don't know if you guys saw this. That's a great answer for you. I love that answer for you. Not at all. Or, like, my answer is different.

[Kim Holderness]

I love it.

[Penn Holderness]

Which. The way that we normally talk is you just immediately get confrontational, and you're like, no way. But he affirmed me.

[Kim Holderness]

Yes.

[Penn Holderness]

And the fact that I wanted to go to space, which Tanner would never in his life want to go to space.

[Kim Holderness]

Same Tanner.

[Penn Holderness]

And he would certainly not want to eat sushi. But he. He Validated, kind of what I said. And then he did his thing. So that was a really good tip too.

[Kim Holderness]

And also our conversations about Weibull, not sponsored at all. We just believe in that platform, and they were telling us about it. So I'm glad that Midge was able to. To. To get on and talk a little bit about that. Speaking of not sponsored, Tanner was in town for an event with three two one Coffee, which started here at RAW in Raleigh at NC State University. So I think we should do another quick. Not sponsored. Totally not sponsored. But we want to give them a plug for the great work they're doing. 3 2, 1 Coffee is a coffee shop built on inclusion. They employ over 50 adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities. They are the ones roasting the coffee, taking the orders, making the lattes. It's. The coffee's good, the coffee's amazing, and I think it's just a brilliant model for inclusion. And Tanner's mom was saying after our interview that when you employ somebody with developmental disabilities, let's say, of course, it's giving an opportunity for that individual, but also the impact it has on their families. So Tanner's job that he does and he loves and he so good at was just such a blessing for their entire family.

[Penn Holderness]

Also, I have no idea, no idea if this is just a coincidence, but when three two one Coffee was at an event we were at, it was the same super positive energy that Tanner brought in by everyone who was working there. So we. And by we, I gotta say, it's Amory. Emory does a quick search. Emory did a quick search. And there are coffee shops like this, like, three, two, one, all over the country. So all you have to do is look it up. We encourage you to check one out and to smoke. Support the mission of these great groups that are doing this.

[Kim Holderness]

And even if it's a little bit of an extra drive, I think it's worth it to support these businesses that are supporting this community. So we always do morsels that matter. If you're new to the podcast, like, the three things. It's like the three things that Penn really takes away from the pod. It started with nuggets, then it got to cookies. Now we're at morsels.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah. So it's great. Normally, like, during these podcasts, I have a little bit of time while, like, you're talking to the guests, and I'm like, start writing stuff down. I had too much fun with Tanner. So I'd like you to see my three morsels right now. There's nothing.

[Kim Holderness]

There's Nothing.

[Penn Holderness]

I've written nothing. But I.

[Tanner Smith]

You know what?

[Penn Holderness]

I think we could come up with them together. Which means you'd be, you'd be. You'd be a morsel. Also, you'd be a chocolate chip.

[Kim Holderness]

Yes.

[Penn Holderness]

Pen and Kim's morsels. You ready? Morsel number one. Hiring a neurodiverse person gives you a new perspective, a new vibe, a new energy, and is advantageous to that company. We heard Midge say that at the end. We believe that very firmly.

[Kim Holderness]

I will also say Tanner said his friends, his family bring him joy. And we have learned from Kate Bowler, who's also on here, Community is what brings joy. So if you're feeling down right now in this life, I mean, things can be very tough and maybe you don't feel like it, but find community.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah. And number three, and, and this is probably the most important one. Tanner throws axes.

[Kim Holderness]

Casually dropped ax throw.

[Penn Holderness]

He just dropped that like it was nothing. And like I've.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I love you, but I don't trust you around.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, it's funny because he's not, he's not super into into sports, but he does like throwing axes. And I bet he's good at it.

[Kim Holderness]

I bet he's so.

[Penn Holderness]

But that was, that was a more.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, I hope we get to see him and his family again.

[Penn Holderness]

I know he was great. He was great. And I think we're, I think we are going to see more of him, but maybe, I don't know if it's in person. He might be doing something way above our grade pretty soon.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah. We are going to be waiting for his autograph outside a movie premiere, I think is what's going to happen. Thank you for joining us. I hope this episode brought you joy.

[Penn Holderness]

Laugh Lines is written and produced by Kim Holderness, Pen Holderness and Ann Marie Tyler with original music by Penn Holderness. It's filmed, edited and live, produced by Sam Allen and hosted by Acast. As always, we love to hear from you, so please write to us podcastheholdernessfamily.com you saw earlier in the show, if you have some misheard song lyrics, that's a good thing to send because we'll always show that. Or you can also leave us a voicemail on our old timey landline. Ken, what's that number?

[Kim Holderness]

323-364-3929.

[Penn Holderness]

You've gotten to the point now when you say it that you sound exactly like the person who says, like, please stand by the wait time for you to change Your flight is 7 hours and 42 minutes.

[Kim Holderness]

Guys, we had to change a flight recently and I was on the phone for three hours on hold and they

[Penn Holderness]

were like, you can do this online too. We're like, no, we have to talk to someone. And then we talked to someone.

[Kim Holderness]

We can't do that. Okay? And then they hung up. Okay, we'll talk to you soon in the laugh line. Bye.

[Penn Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

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[Tanner Smith]

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[Midge Smith]

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[Kim Holderness]

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