New Year, Slightly Improved Me

Summary

Podcast Summary: Laugh Lines with Kim & Penn Holderness

Episode: New Year, Slightly Improved Me
Date: January 13, 2026
Hosts: Kim & Penn Holderness

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Overview

In this candid and often hilarious episode, Kim and Penn Holderness kick off the new year by reflecting on small but meaningful personal growth, embracing imperfection, and navigating the emotional complexity of aging, parenting, and being public figures. The duo shares listener messages, announces an exciting new project, and debates whether it’s time to show more of their serious sides alongside all the laughs. The episode is peppered with warmth, self-deprecating humor, and sincere moments about finding balance and community as you age.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. New Year, "Slightly Improved" Me (03:15, 32:24)

• Rejecting the "New Year, New Me" Pressure:
  Kim introduces the episode’s main theme: letting go of the idea that you need a whole new identity each January. Instead, they champion “New Year, Slightly Improved Me.”

  • Kim: “Is it like New year slightly improved me? Like there's so much I don't care about.” (03:15)
  • Penn echoes the sentiment: “You can be successful and grow and get better without... manifesting it out loud.” (33:00)

• Goal Setting & Realism:
  Kim admits to loving resolutions but feels conflicted about motivation this year, influenced by hormonal changes and emotional ups and downs. Both discuss how they approach goals differently: Kim loves lists and benchmarks, while Penn prefers quiet internal standards.

2. Aging, Parenting, and Letting Go (11:09)

• Navigating Kids Leaving Home:
  Kim shares her emotional struggle with their daughter Lola returning to college after winter break, reflecting on the sorrow and pride of an emptying nest.

  • Kim: “I started weeping again...I was not expecting to be so sad all over again... it kicked my ass.” (11:09)
  • Penn: “Every time that happens, I hate to see my wife cry, but it’s beautiful...we’re doing something right if we're this sad to see our daughter go.” (12:27)

• Parenting Transitions:
  Discussion about the evolving dynamics when adult children come home, re-entering family routines, and the bittersweetness of these milestones.

3. Nostalgia & Listener Community: Coke vs. Pepsi and Generational Markers (03:58, 21:10)

• Remembering New Coke:
  The hosts reminisce about the 1985 launch (and quick demise) of New Coke, using it as a relatable generational touchstone:

  • Kim: “If you're old enough to remember when Coke tried to change the recipe...you’re our people.” (03:58)
  • Penn marvels at how quickly Coke caved to backlash despite no Internet: “79 days...Do you realize how fast that is without the Internet?” (04:58)

• Diet Coke Elitism:
  Listener Laura calls in with a confession about smuggling Diet Coke into Pepsi events, sparking a fun debate about brand loyalty and listener engagement.

  • Laura (voicemail): “I worked for Pepsi and would go to company events with a Diet Coke in a brown paper cover. So I am a Diet Coke elitist too, Kim.” (21:10)
  • Kim: “Could you imagine accepting a paycheck from Pepsi and then just...gotta get that hit?”

4. Listener Interactions: The Legendary "Gerald" & Clipboards (15:29)

• Laugh Line Highlight:
  The hosts read fan mail from Gerald, who compiled stats on their choice of podcast clipboards, complete with an Excel spreadsheet.

  • Kim: “This was such an incredible use of free will. Gerald, forever, you're my favorite.” (17:04)
  • Penn answers: “I legit like this...I used to chew on the corner of it.” (18:27)

• Inside Jokes Become Family Lore:
  Gerald’s data inspires the family phrase “let's take a picture” to signal moving on in conversations, originally heard at a book signing.

5. Gender Roles & Household Labor (26:15)

• Christmas Card Labor:
  Kim revisits her viral rant about women bearing the brunt of emotional and logistical labor in midlife traditions (like holiday cards), giving a tongue-in-cheek “medal ceremony” to husbands reported by their wives for stepping up.
  • Kim: “We have a list of men who I would like to personally thank.” (27:20)
  • Penn: “We’ll put some patriotic sort of music like they just won an Olympic gold medal here.” (27:20)

6. Complimenting Men: "Pen Compliments Men" Segment (28:53)

• Audience Engagement:
  Penn begins a new segment inspired by a promise to compliment more men, reading listener messages and giving heartfelt praise to husbands Noah and Chris.
  • Penn: “What I love most about you is your smile, Noah... he seems like when he has fun, he really has fun.” (29:12)
  • For Chris: “I immediately bonded because...I love an espresso martini and I love a stemless one because I knock stuff over.” (29:50)

7. Authenticity vs. Curation in Public Life (36:26)

• Balancing Positivity with Real Life:
  Kim grapples with whether to include more serious, even “rage-inducing” topics on their platform while maintaining the show's signature safe, lighthearted tone.

  • Kim: “The things that fill me with rage, we don’t talk about on our platforms...Is there in 2026 a way I can be gentle with myself but also brave for others?” (34:43)
  • Penn: “It is tough when you take a stand about something...the comments don’t [stay positive]. It gets into an argument.” (36:30)

• Future Vision for the Show:
  Kim opens up discussion to the audience about evolving the podcast to become a space for nuanced honesty, balancing laughter with authenticity.

8. "Are We Too Old For…", “Gen Z Slang”, and Recurring Segments (interspersed)

• Lighthearted riffs about community-acknowledged aging challenges and generational markers, although not explicit segments this episode.

9. Road to 50: Goals and Grace (45:57, 53:40)

• Kim’s Personal Goals:
  Kim reports back on her “road to 50”—her goal to read 50 books in a year (she’s off to a fast start), but sheepishly admits to abandoning her plan for physical fitness benchmarks.

  • Kim: “I've recreated a reading habit that I'm very proud of... Mostly because I want to avoid doom scrolling.” (46:40)
  • On fitness: “I said I was going to do an unassisted pull-up. I haven't even done a push-up. I've done one push-up in, like, the last month. I suck at it.” (53:40)
  • Penn: “You don't suck at it. You've made no effort.”

• Embracing Imperfection:
  The theme circles back: “I'm gonna be New Year, slightly improved me. I'm gonna start doing some push-ups.” (54:07)

10. Introducing "Space Cadet" Spin-Off & Following the Fun (49:25)

• Kim pitches a new podcast idea where Penn (with Sam) can geek out about space, sci-fi, and ADHD—a blend of their passions, even if it isn’t commercially savvy.

  • Kim: “Penn needs a space podcast. Because, honestly, he needs friends to talk about space things...” (49:25)
  • Penn: “I would have more fun with this than anything else, but...” (50:02)
  • Sam: “What if you come in empty, blind, and I prep everything?” (50:19)

• They solicit fan feedback about whether this should be a segment or a separate show.

  • Kim: “Here's also something I'm feeling in 2026. Let's follow the fun. Right?” (52:04)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Nostalgic Zinger:
  Kim: “If you're old enough to remember when Coke tried to change the recipe...you're our people.” (03:58)
• On Parental Grief:
  Kim: “I started weeping again...it kicked my ass.” (11:09)
• On Listener Gerald:
  Kim: “This was such an incredible use of free will. Gerald, forever, you're my favorite.” (17:04)
• On Internal Motivation:
  Penn: “You can be successful and grow and get better without doing that. Look at me. I don't manifest. Sorry.” (33:00)
• On Public Authenticity:
  Kim: “The things that fill me with rage, we don't talk about on our platforms...Is there in 2026 a way I can be very gentle on myself but also when there's time, be brave for others?” (34:43)
• On Embracing Grace:
  Kim: “I'm gonna be New Year, slightly improved me. I'm gonna start doing some push-ups.” (54:13)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Nostalgia & Audience Identity: 03:58–04:58
• Podcast Origin & Evolution: 05:48–08:35
• Parenting & Holiday Emotion: 11:09–13:27
• Laugh Line Listener Mail (Gerald): 15:29–19:27
• Diet Coke Confessions: 21:10–23:09
• Household Labor & “Medals” for Men: 26:15–28:01
• Pen Compliments Men: 28:53–31:32
• Resolutions & Authenticity: 32:24–37:34
• Balancing Real Life & Platform Curation: 36:26–41:09
• Road to 50 (Books & Push-ups): 45:57–54:13
• Space Cadet Podcast Pitch: 49:25–52:04

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Tone & Style

• Warm, Self-Deprecating, Honest:
  Kim and Penn keep the tone friendly and real, mixing humor with vulnerability and inviting listeners to see themselves in everyday struggles.

• Audience-Centric & Interactive:
  Regular call-outs for feedback, listener stories, and suggestions for new segments keep the show feeling like a two-way conversation, not a performance.

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Listener Takeaways

• A strong sense of community and shared experience—whether it’s through Coke vs. Pepsi arguments, the struggle of watching kids grow up, or striving for just a bit of improvement each year.
• Permission to let go of perfection, laugh at your own quirks, and embrace the honest, sometimes messy facets of aging and personal growth.
• Encouragement to follow the fun, even if it’s not always productive, and to cherish the oddballs (both inside ourselves and in our online circle).

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Feedback & Ways to Connect

Listeners are encouraged to:

• Send emails or voicemails with thoughts on the episode, especially on the show's evolving tone and the possible "Space Cadet" spin-off.
• Join the ongoing (half-serious) campaign to get the hosts some iPads for podcast notes.

Write at: [e-mail]
Voicemail: 323-364-3929

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In summary:
This episode showcases Kim and Penn’s unique blend of humor, honesty, and relatability, making “slightly improved” feel both achievable and joyfully enough.

Transcript

[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, you heard that right. You can now get chef designed nutrient dense meals delivered right to your door with no subscription needed.

[Kim Holderness]

Plus we are busier than ever. Between work, rushing home from basketball games and taking care of myself, cooking feels tough.

[Penn Holderness]

Understandable, right? Valid solution though. Blue Apron is a great hack for getting a nutritious and delicious dinner on the table in 30 minutes or less.

[Kim Holderness]

And they have two new product lines designed to make meal time faster and easier. Assemble and Bake is a one pan meal with minimal prep and cleanup.

[Penn Holderness]

The other is Dish by Blue Apron. It's pre made meals that you just have to heat in the oven or the microwave.

[Kim Holderness]

Order [e-mail] and get 50% off your first two orders plus free shipping with code laughlines50 Terms and conditions apply.

[Penn Holderness]

Visit blueapron.com terms for more information. This episode is brought to you by Pura.

[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

Plus you can completely customize your scenting experience from intensity levels to scent schedules.

[Kim Holderness]

Whether it's for your home, your car or a thoughtful gift, Pura brings scent design to life and for a limited.

[Penn Holderness]

Time you get a free Pura plus home diffuser when you subscribe to your favorite fragrances for 12 months.

[Kim Holderness]

This is restoration, not reinvention. Grab your free [e-mail] break through the busiest time of the year with the brand new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus. Powered by Peloton iq, this is Peloton's.

[Penn Holderness]

Most elevated equipment with real time guidance and endless ways to move alone or with your favorite instructors. It's cross training reimagined with features designed to help you reach your goals effortlessly.

[Kim Holderness]

Peloton IQ has features like goal setting and weight suggestions so you're always making new progress.

[Penn Holderness]

Plus the new movement tracking camera allows Peloton IQ to count your reps and correct your form in real time and that takes the guesswork out of your workouts so you can train safer, lift smarter and make every rep count.

[Kim Holderness]

Go on a 45 minute run on the tread plus or a 5 minute stretch off of it. With one smooth spin of the swivel screen, it offers endless ways to train for a well rounded routine no matter how busy you are.

[Penn Holderness]

As an avid peloton user, I love that Peloton IQ creates a personal workout roadmap with weekly recommended classes led by instructors who match my mood, my vibe and my personality with features that help.

[Kim Holderness]

You plan, stay motivated and achieve peak performance. I love that you can get your workout on while Peloton Peloton handles the rest.

[Penn Holderness]

So let yourself run, lift, sculpt, push and go explore the new peloton cross training tread [e-mail] so instead of like.

[Kim Holderness]

New Year new me, is it like New year slightly improved me? Like there's so much I don't care.

[Penn Holderness]

About and true or false barfs are harder to clean up than dumps dogs. This is dog stuff, not human stuff.

[Kim Holderness]

Is it productive? No. Does it help anybody? Probably not, but it was just like such an amazing use of free will.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, we get older every day. Got more wrinkles.

[Kim Holderness]

That's okay.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, we're laughing. When we age, life is like a comedy stage and that's why we got land flying.

[Kim Holderness]

Hey everybody, I'm Kim Holderness.

[Penn Holderness]

And I'm Ben Holderness. Happy New Year and thank you for once again joining us on Laugh Lines.

[Kim Holderness]

If you are old enough to remember when Coke tried to change the recipe and it became New Coke and they faced major bash lash, it kind of was bash lash.

[Penn Holderness]

They were bashing it and they were lashing it.

[Kim Holderness]

If you're old enough to remember that, then you're our people.

[Penn Holderness]

You are home vividly. Remember it. It was a massive conversation piece in our community and schools and teachers.

[Kim Holderness]

Do you remember when life was so simple? Yeah, that when a soda changed its recipe, that was the big news.

[Penn Holderness]

How would you do you remember the difference between the two?

[Kim Holderness]

Like it just tasted more like Pepsi.

[Penn Holderness]

It was a little bit flatter, like a little more sweet and a little bit less bubble and I, I don't know how long it takes for something to go from a bottling place to the actual the populace. But this was before the Internet so it would have taken like write in campaigns if you were pissed and they sw back real quick. Real quick.

[Kim Holderness]

So that was in 1985, Coca Cola launched New Coke. It was a sweeter, smoother reformulation intended to compete with Pepsi and it triggered massive consumer backlash, ultimately Forcing the company to reintroduce the original recipe. Coke Classic 79 days later, Y'. All. Do you realize how fast that is without the Internet? 79 days.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

And anyway, if. If you remember that, like, I think, by the way, I was 1985. I was.

[Penn Holderness]

You were young. And I like Pepsi. I also liked Pepsi.

[Kim Holderness]

Have some Coke Zero. Right now.

[Penn Holderness]

Do you believe that Coke felt threatened by Pepsi to change their. Their recipe? Like, Pepsi did. Have a moment. Michael Jackson was their guy.

[Kim Holderness]

Remember, he did commercial fire during a. He did.

[Penn Holderness]

But he was their guy.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay.

[Penn Holderness]

Pepsi had a better. Pepsi had good marketing in the 80s.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay. We started this podcast in 2018. Isn't it wild?

[Penn Holderness]

Yes.

[Kim Holderness]

We've come a long way, and we've.

[Penn Holderness]

Done it basically every week since then with a couple of, like, maybe three breaks.

[Kim Holderness]

There was a moment we thought we would do this podcast just for funsies. Let's see how we were like, let's just do it if we feel like doing it right. And there was an introduction, the whole thing. You were gonna do a new. Why did we also think this could happen? A new intro song. A new intro every episode. Like, should we play which one?

[Penn Holderness]

We did? Like, I had to do a different opening song every week.

[Kim Holderness]

This is from the first episode.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay. Okay, we can do that.

[Kim Holderness]

I don't even remember this. Okay, let's play it.

[Penn Holderness]

You ready for the podcast? All right, here we go. Our last name is Holder Ness. Our life is a big hot mess. We got kids and a crazy dog. We write songs and we do blogs. Cheesy videos is our crap. We try hard to make you laugh. Now we're trying a podcast. If it sucks, it'll be our last. We're gonna talk about working, raising kids, and, yeah, whatever else you want us to address. School, drama, marriage stress. This intro is way too long. My wife will not like this song. When it ends, I'm realizing she will then start criticizing. Should have run it by her first.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah. This intro. Wait till this end.

[Penn Holderness]

I'll do a different one next week once I hear my wife's critique. It's the Holder message.

[Kim Holderness]

That was awesome. Thank you. Yes.

[Penn Holderness]

I mean, I think what really worked for that one is it only happened once. Like, I don't think. Yeah, yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

And I. I remember we had no intention of, like, we're like, let's just do the podcast because it sounds like fun and we can talk to each other.

[Sam Allen]

Right?

[Penn Holderness]

No. So there was a period in the first year, and we can look this up too, where I had to do a Different like genre open for each each one. Like there was a heavy metal one. Are you ready for the holder mess Podcast with pen. And there was like a pop one. It's a podcast. Time to start the show right now. I remember there was one with like a harpsichord, Old English, like Mozartian one. It's a podcast from our decadent parlor in the woods. Has our courtship blossoms. We talk about it as we should.

[Kim Holderness]

But I will say this. If. If the podcast was the only thing we did, you would love to do that. We just have some other.

[Penn Holderness]

Just write songs. Like write opens. Yes, if that would be my dream. Just. And like, then you could just do the whole rest and I'll just write the opens. No, no, no, no.

[Kim Holderness]

I'm saying like you could con. You could do just make up new songs. But we do other things.

[Penn Holderness]

We do. But that would be my favorite thing.

[Kim Holderness]

That would be your favorite thing. But our other favorite thing is writing children's books. And we have another one, another one coming out this year.

[Penn Holderness]

And this announcement is for you. Type A personalities out there. I know you're there. I love you all. Because a pre release this early. That's.

[Kim Holderness]

That's type A Quick Housekeeping. We are going to be launching our next kid book. Get it done and have fun. ADHD Hacks for awesome kids. It's coming out in the fall. It's a continuation of our first kids book. Thank you again for being so supportive. So we're just planting the seed. It is January. Planting the seed. That's coming out in the fall. Just be aware.

[Penn Holderness]

But the pre sale is starting like fairly soon.

[Kim Holderness]

It's crazy.

[Penn Holderness]

So I feel obligated to let you guys know that. And listen, what a great treat to buy a book now and then completely forget about it and then it just shows up in. I think it's going to be in August or September.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

So like late summer, early fall. And just think, oh my goodness.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh my God, I did this nice thing for myself.

[Penn Holderness]

What a lovely surprise. No, pre sales are important. They help drive like and determine what the total distribution and total printing is going to. Is going to be. So it does mean a lot if you see that announcement. If you. You want to purchase the book. If you have a kid who either has ADHD or doesn't who may want to have a little more fun with their chores. That is, that's kind of the crux of this book. And even for me, like I have been using as a 51 year old some of these tricks to get stuff done around the House. I'm just going to say I'm 51. It's a kid's book.

[Kim Holderness]

You are kind of a kid.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

It works.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

This podcast, just a little. Little catch up, little review and a little ahead, got a lot of really good emails and reactions to. We had kind of a medium holiday podcast, a podcast where we were just going to go medium. The life had been so stressful. In 2025, we're just going to aim for medium. I think it went great. I think that just bringing down the temperature a little bit was so amazing. Here's what I was not expecting. And this kind of like, knocked the wind out of me. Lola came home for her first big, long Christmas break from. From college. She was home for 26 days, not that I counted. And, you know, there was some re entry sort of, you know, we had to figure things out and that was great. But by the time, you know, when she left, like, everything was like, it was normal. Like, Lola was home. And then we drove her to the airport. Our mistake was we had a lot of time. So we walked her in and I, we walked her to security and I. That just makes it so much more dramatic. And I started weeping again and I had. I was not expecting to be so sad all over again. I mean, it was just like this big pump fake. Like, I'm like, oh, it's. It was like back to normal. And then now she's gone again. I was. For parents who've been through this before, I think maybe you tried to warn me. I think you put in some comments, but I just didn't really process it. It kicked my ass.

[Penn Holderness]

Your husband kind of saw it coming too. So here's the thing. When you do the airport drop off where you park and you walk in, I think it brings back memories of. Even though we didn't drop her off at the airport, we dropped her off at the dorm, it brings back that memory instead of, okay, bye, and they get their own stuff and you, like, hug them outside the car and they walk in. But let me ask you this. Like, isn't it good to feel those things?

[Kim Holderness]

Of course.

[Penn Holderness]

Like, isn't it. Isn't it wonderful? Like, I, I hate to see you cry, and I hate to see that wave of emotion rush over you. But there's like, that, that is a. That's a bonding thing between you and your daughter. Like, I, I didn't cry, but I definitely felt it as well. You and I process things obviously differently, but every time that happens, I hate to see my wife cry, but it's beautiful just to see, like, okay, we're doing something right if we're sad, this sad to see our daughter go away for like, a couple of months. So. But yeah, I also think, don't you think it was important that we did have some chill this holiday, knowing all of these added emotions and feelings? Not just the one when you say goodbye, but when you're living with a, you know, a daughter who becomes a roommate again. And all that comes with having a daughter home for the first time for the holiday. We've even had friends say to us, like, yeah, that was tough because it is a different sort of dynamic.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah, there was an adjustment for sure. I just. When we dropped her off in August, I literally put on the calendar, like, I blocked off a couple days where I just was going to take to the bed. And there was very low expectations from me at work. Everybody was kind of tiptoeing around me and I just. Yeah, I was just. I was just sad this time. I didn't and I couldn't. It's not like you can block time. I'm like, I'm going to be sad again. Like, I didn't, but I just didn't anticipate that. On Monday, I. And it's like the first Monday after a new year. I typically feel really energized. I'm ready to go. Let's go. And I was like, I don't like anything. Everything's gray. I'm just gonna sleep. And then it dawned on me. Oh, I'm just. I'm just really sad. I'm just really sad right now. So, like, don't make any decisions. Don't yell at anybody. Even though I wanted to, like, just don't. Just, like, chill. Yeah. And just have. Give yourself grace.

[Penn Holderness]

And so this really is kind of our first day back on the. On the job with cameras in front of us. And so you've had to, like, make that quick pivot. And I want to thank our dog Sunny for helping jump start this because.

[Kim Holderness]

Thank you.

[Penn Holderness]

Because this morning at like 7:20, a little bit before our alarm just started barfing on our. And we heard her barfing on our floor.

[Kim Holderness]

So nothing will wake you up faster than the sound of your dog getting sick. I will say I normally wake up much earlier, but, like, vacation, we were sleeping late, so. But I have to say it was a good little, like, clear.

[Penn Holderness]

Yep. Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

Like, it was ekg. Yeah, little ekg. Like, what? We were shocked into the day. So it was a good little start.

[Penn Holderness]

And true or False barfs are harder to clean up than dumps. So if it's a good solid dump, you can pick that up and not even know it was there. But, like, the barf gets in there. So dogs. This is dog stuff, not human stuff. Sorry, go ahead.

[Kim Holderness]

On our break, you guys must have been catching up with the podcast because we got so many funny emails and voicemails. So let's head to the laugh line.

[Penn Holderness]

Will find us. What's on your mind?

[Kim Holderness]

This first email came from Gerald. We have met Gerald. There's a picture of us and Gerald.

[Penn Holderness]

Gerald from Gerald, Minneapolis.

[Kim Holderness]

He flew from California to our Mall of America book signing in Minneapolis and he showed up hours early. Gerald is. I, I, you know, you do these, like, book signings where people come through. I could have sat and talked to Gerald for an hour. I'm endlessly fascinated with Gerald.

[Penn Holderness]

That was the one. Like, we had a long line and we had this woman, she was wonderful, who worked at Mall of America's, who would say when the conversation was going too long, would say, okay, let's take a picture. Like in this very high pitched, let's take a picture. Which meant that the interaction should probably be over. And we've used that. We use that all the time.

[Kim Holderness]

So now if there's something in our family, like even in this podcast that, like, it's going too long, we're like, let's take a picture. And it means you gotta move it along.

[Penn Holderness]

And the rule is it has to be extremely high pitched when you do it. But it worked. But we get more Gerald now.

[Kim Holderness]

So Gerald, when I read this, and I think Sam had the best reply to it, which is like, this was such an incredible use of free will. So HE types. Happy New Year. I recently had my appointment with the department of Everyone Ages department dead. That's a video.

[Penn Holderness]

He did a video about, like, when you get older, you get assigned a certain hobby, which for Kim was bird watching. Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

Or. And then, okay, they assigned me. This is. They assigned me the hobby of keeping track of which used the old style clipboard with the large clip indented upper right corner. And you used the one with the newer clipboard engraved with Kim. To me, is there a reason why that clipboard is in such bad shape? I created an Excel spreadsheet and reviewed each podcast and here's this curtain scoreboard. I love you so much.

[Penn Holderness]

Can. We're gonna put up the score.

[Kim Holderness]

And so what is the other one with a dented. Is it that one?

[Penn Holderness]

It's this one. Yeah. I didn't Even realize that it was dented until right now. Gerald. So either.

[Sam Allen]

Either use that one 11 times. I've used it 16 times.

[Kim Holderness]

I prefer this one and then neither 10, for a total of 37 episodes. And I think we have to put up on the screen that he did episode by episode. He went date episode titled and dented clipboard. And I am. This is something I. I would do with my free time. Is it productive? No. Does it help anybody? Yeah, probably not. But it was just like, such an amazing use of free will and. Gerald, forever, you're my favorite.

[Penn Holderness]

Can. Can I answer? He did ask a question, and I want to address it. Why is this in such bad shape? I legit like this. I've had this clipboard. I think this has made its way around our family for a while. I'm not even lying to you. I think I used to chew on the corner of it, like, a long, long time ago. Because if you look at it, there's. It's a little bitey, like. And you can see, like, this side I got started on too. I think I used to chew on the edges of the clipboard back when, like, I had no control over my executive functioning. I'm getting better at that now.

[Kim Holderness]

He. He continues. Please relieve me of this assignment so I can be assigned a new hobby by the department of everyone ages. Department. Can we, as your fans, set up a GoFundMe for iPads? I actually turned 65, so I already experienced some of what you're going through now, and I survived. Not without some bumps in the road. Just imagine what your life will be like when you get to be my age. Gramps and granny from Gerald. That's. He's from Santa Ana, California. First of all, like, no, we're just idiots and have not invested in iPads. And we need to.

[Penn Holderness]

I don't want to deprive the world of this.

[Kim Holderness]

We are just. We. I think we could. We could invest in iPads. We just. We had a thing. I'll just be. This is the day of transparency. We thought that as soon as we sold an ad for our YouTube podcast.

[Penn Holderness]

For the video side.

[Kim Holderness]

For the video side.

[Penn Holderness]

Once we start monetizing the video side.

[Kim Holderness]

Then we would buy iPads. Yeah, it hasn't happened yet.

[Penn Holderness]

Well, I think most people are still finding us on audio.

[Kim Holderness]

Correct. And so we have. We do have some ads that are being served and we're working on. And we know it's a lot. We're trying to. We're trying to. We're trying to do it, guys.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, so I get that it's easier to listen to. Like you can say, hey, Siri, play the Holderness family podcast. And it just pops up, up. And if you're like on a walk or you're driving, boom, there it is. I understand that.

[Sam Allen]

So maybe we could just like do a call out to the fans. Yeah, like, hey, if you have like a second monitor at your desk, if you wanted to just play the podcast.

[Kim Holderness]

Just like go to a public library, log on to every computer you plug in the machine.

[Sam Allen]

It's a playlist on YouTube so you can just let it run.

[Kim Holderness]

It's so funny. Yeah, I mean, so it's easier.

[Penn Holderness]

It's easier to get the.

[Sam Allen]

I will tell you. Six months ago I found a site that you can make custom clipboards and I put our logo in so you guys would have laugh lines.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay.

[Sam Allen]

And Anne Marie said, no, do not make that ten dollar purchase because we'll get iPad soon.

[Penn Holderness]

I'm on Anne Marie's side here about not wanting to spend one damn nickel on it until we get a YouTube video sponsorship.

[Kim Holderness]

Thank you, Gerald. We'll work on iPads. It'll be a great day when we get them. Okay, next is a voicemail from Laura about brown bagging her Diet Coke. Okay. I had to stop and pause the pod so I could call you. And this is Laura. For 15 years I worked for Pepsi and I would go to company events with a Diet Coke in a brown paper color. So I am a Diet Coke elitist too, Kim. And I am so grateful to be part of the club. I would do the same for my child. And Instacart over those Diet Cokes if you missed. We did like a taste test and Penn didn't think that I could tell the difference, but I could smell the difference. Could you imagine take like accepting a paycheck from Pepsi and then just like gotta get that hit.

[Penn Holderness]

I'm trying to think about like the most responded to topics that we've had here on Laughline slash Holderness family podcast in the last seven years. It's been it eight years. Menopause is obviously.

[Kim Holderness]

Yes.

[Penn Holderness]

Way up there.

[Kim Holderness]

Anxiety and adhd, all this aging stuff. Yes.

[Penn Holderness]

Alzheimer's. Like those are the kind of Mount Rushmore or they were Coke versus Pepsi. And Diet Coke is working its way into the Mount Rushmore of things that we talk about on this podcast and.

[Kim Holderness]

That are sadly not sponsored. So therefore no iPads.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, but like brown bagging it into Pepsi. That is some next level.

[Kim Holderness]

I would be. I'm such a rule follower. I would be too scared. Yeah. I would just drink water all day.

[Penn Holderness]

Do you think, like, it was because they forbade it or because there's shaming going on?

[Kim Holderness]

You cannot show up to Pepsi drinking Coke. No.

[Penn Holderness]

There. I bet you there's something in the bylaws where you can't, like, be seen. No, I bet you, like, there's got to be something where you can't, like, like, you can't forbid people from bringing their own food, food and drink into the work.

[Kim Holderness]

Yes, you can. Your private company.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay. All I have to do is ask these questions and then someone's gonna call back and say, actually, actually. And that's. But I love the actual. Yes, that's my favorite part.

[Kim Holderness]

More on this after these words. Starting the year with a wardrobe refresh, Quints has you covered with luxe essentials that feel effortless and look polished.

[Penn Holderness]

They're perfect for layering, mixing, and building a wardrobe that lasts. Their versatile styles make it easy to reach for them.

[Kim Holderness]

And day after day, Quince has all the staples covered. From soft Mongolian cashmere sweaters that feel like designer pieces without the markup to 100% silk tops and skirts that are easy for dressing up to perfectly cut denim for everyday wear. Their wardrobe essentials are crafted to last season after season.

[Penn Holderness]

When they're Italian wool coats, they are real standouts. They're beautifully tailored, soft to the touch and built to carry you through years of wear, not just one season.

[Kim Holderness]

The quality shows in every detail. The stitching, the fit, the fabrics, every piece. It's thoughtfully designed to be your new wardrobe essential.

[Penn Holderness]

And like everything from Quint, each piece is made with premium materials in ethical, trusted factories, then priced far below what other luxury brands charge.

[Kim Holderness]

I can't tell you how much I'm loving my new cashmere sweater. It's a staple for sure, and I can't wait to gift one to my best friend.

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, am I? Am I your best friend?

[Kim Holderness]

Maybe. I'm also really loving their gorgeous dresses that I can enjoy when it finally warms up.

[Penn Holderness]

Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Don't wait. Go to quints.comholderness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada as well.

[Kim Holderness]

That's Q U I-n c e.comholderness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.comholderholderness okay, quick show of hands. Have you ever gone to the doctor with a very real concern and left thinking, cool? So I guess I just imagined all of that.

[Penn Holderness]

Oh yeah, you've told me about this, Kim. The. The classic medical shrug.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah. And if you're in midlife and feeling dismissed, unheard or just completely over the healthcare system, you're deeply not alone. Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

For years, women dealing with perimenopause and menopause have basically been told to, to just deal with it. Which feels unscientific.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah. And frustrating and exhausting and honestly kind of rage inducing. So. Especially when you learn that 75 of women seeking care for menopause and perimenopause are still left totally untreated.

[Penn Holderness]

And that's not because women aren't advocating for themselves. It's because the system has not been built for them.

[Kim Holderness]

Which is why I love the next part. This show is sponsored by MIDI Health. MIDI is a women women's telehealth clinic focused specifically on midlife, founded and backed by world class leaders in women's health.

[Penn Holderness]

And here's the big deal. They're the only women's telehealth brand covered by major insurance. So this is expert care that's actually accessible.

[Kim Holderness]

You get one on one, face to face virtual visits with clinicians who truly listen. No rushing, no minimizing, hormone therapy, weight.

[Penn Holderness]

Loss support, lifestyle coaching, preventative care. This is isn't. Here's a pamphlet. Good luck. This is personalized care for your body.

[Kim Holderness]

Ready to feel your best and write your second act script. Visit joinmitty.com today to book your personalized insurance covered virtual Visit. That's join MIDI.com MIDI the Care Women deserve. Tying up some loose ends, I did go on a little rant in 2025 about how women typically take on the emotional labor and just like that of the Christmas cards, like picking out the outfits and scheduling a photographer and getting the addresses. And it's like a why it's why we don't do it because if it was that important, you would do it and it's not important to you. So we just don't do it. And so I went on a little bit of rant about how unfair it is that women have to do it. We heard from several husbands and wives that about the men who they, they find the photographer or they set up a way, they take the picture, they design the cards, they address them, they stamp them, they drop them at the post office. So we have a list of men who I would like to personally thank.

[Penn Holderness]

And we'll put some like patriotic sort of music like they just won an Olympic gold medal here.

[Kim Holderness]

Dr. Brenda's husband Neil, as well as the husbands of the husbands of we're just going to say the wife's names.

[Penn Holderness]

Wait, is it. Is that what it is? We don't have the names of the husband. So wait, we're applauding the women for naming the husband? Well, they.

[Kim Holderness]

We're applauding the women who emailed in saying their husbands are great.

[Penn Holderness]

So they didn't actually say the name of their husband in the email. I think it's fair.

[Kim Holderness]

I think this is fair.

[Penn Holderness]

That's good.

[Kim Holderness]

Keep going. Rebecca.

[Penn Holderness]

This is husband.

[Kim Holderness]

Angela.

[Penn Holderness]

Husband. Husband. Celeste's husband. Jenny's husband.

[Kim Holderness]

And April.

[Penn Holderness]

Husband.

[Kim Holderness]

So play this segment for your husband, April, and just say, hey, I thought of you, and have to write in and not put your name, but not say their name. And pen, you were also in a mission to compliment more men. We had talked about how a dude gave you a compliment, how much you liked it, and how you were going to step up and start complimenting more.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, I said, like, I'm gonna start complimenting more men, which I don't think I like. I do it probably more than most people, but there is this kind of like, oh, bro, come on.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

What do you mean? I'm just telling. That's the world. And. But the truth is that men like to be complimented. And so we had two women who sent pictures of their husbands and gave me the names of their husbands.

[Kim Holderness]

Yes.

[Penn Holderness]

And so we're gonna put these pictures up, and I'm gonna. I'm gonna say, here's what your wife said about you, and then I'm gonna compliments you as well.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay.

[Penn Holderness]

This is a new segment called Pen Compliments Men. It rhymes. And if, if you want to send more pictures, give me, like, full names so I can, like, Facebook stalk them and get more. More information and, like, really kind of dig deep about why I like this person. Because right now I'm mainly working on a photo.

[Kim Holderness]

Right.

[Penn Holderness]

So let's. Let's put up.

[Kim Holderness]

Noah.

[Penn Holderness]

Noah, your. Your wife Ashley says you're the best father and the best husband. And they sent this picture. He's got a Peterbolt hoodie on. I love that. I love the hat. What I love the most about you is your smile, Noah.

[Kim Holderness]

Great smile.

[Penn Holderness]

And your teeth, which are part of your smile. You just have a very trusting look about you. And also, I think part of your smile is I'm really happy to be here. And I know that I, I, I, I know that I'm a little bit giddy right now. Like, he seems.

[Kim Holderness]

I think he just went on a hike with his family.

[Penn Holderness]

Right. He's Vibing to me as a person that, like, when he has fun, he really has fun. And I bet he has a contagious laugh. Yes, I bet you do. Chris, Kristen, your wife, Kristen sent this picture of you, and I immediately bonded with you because without her even giving any information, I saw the. The stemless espresso martini. So there's two things I love in that. I love an espresso martini and I love a stimulus one because I knock stuff over all the time.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

And so this, like, it's the same exact delivery system without being all pretentious and having like a long stem on it. And he can put it down with the. The knowledge that there's like a 20 to 30% better chance he's not going to spill it. I love that you took your wife to Charleston. That is the best place to go as a husband and wife couple. There's great food. I like his glasses. I think they frame his face perfectly. I think he's got very curious eyes. And I feel like we could have like, a really cool conversation about either sports or sci fi. I bet he's into one of them.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay, you know what? Also, and I just need to ask the question. So much feedback. Is there a way to make a decaf espresso martini? I love an espresso martini, but if I drink one, I wouldn't sleep for four days.

[Penn Holderness]

I've. I've heard people order them before. They just have to have. In order to have an espresso martini, you need an espresso machine. And it's easier to make. I didn't know if you knew this. It's easier to make decaf espresso than it is to make decaf coffee. I did know that because it's a different machine and a different whole thing to make decaf coffee. So, yeah, you should be able to, like, next time you want a martini, get in a decaf.

[Kim Holderness]

But I'm always afraid I'm. I've trusted you're gonna screw it up. Yeah. And then they're gonna give me Ashley's espresso. And then Ashley, do you want me.

[Penn Holderness]

To walk back there with them?

[Kim Holderness]

I will say, I am a resolution girly. I love a goal I annoy. Like, one of our recurring fights in our marriage is not fights, used to be, but like one of the. The kind of. The conflict I would feel is like, I have a goal. I want to, you know, accomplish this this year. And. And you're like, I don't know. I'm pretty cool. Just like hanging out it is, I think, feel a lot of conflict right now, and I don't. My insides are just so confused. I don't know if it's the lack of, like, my estrogen taking a nose dive, but I just don't. There's so much I don't care about, but I want to go. So I'm an Enneagram One, which. I will fight you on that, because I don't think I'm a perfectionist, but.

[Penn Holderness]

Enneagram1, which is why you're an enneagram1.

[Kim Holderness]

But an enneagram1 is a perfectionist. And in my core, I want to improve, right? At all times, I want to be improving. It's. It's in my DNA. So then, So I have that, right? That's here. And then I have my estrogen, which is here. So instead of, like, New Year, new me, is it like New Year, slightly improved me? Like, how could I still slightly improve, but I still just really don't care about anything right now. It's so hard.

[Penn Holderness]

So let yourself be that way. By the way, you do care. That's, that's, that's a ridiculous claim. You care about a lot of things. You just haven't done this. Like, all right, here's, here's what I'm manifesting into the world right now. Yeah, but you don't. Like, you can be successful and grow and get better without doing that. Look at me. I don't manifest. Like, I, I, I don't, I don't. Sorry. This is a good use of that word that, that hopefully just got bleeped. But for me, it's like more like a quiet internal thing that I let just be a North Star for me, instead of, like, having to say it out loud. Like, it's. What, what is it? January 7th. And this isn't, like, normally a big deal, but, like, I haven't said anything about it. Haven't had a sip of alcohol this year. Haven't had, like, much bread or any fried food. I feel fricking fantastic. It's the best I've felt in a long time. But I haven't said it out loud until now, but, like, I've got that North Star in my head that's saying, hey, this is working. This is good. Keep. Let's, let's keep this rolling, right?

[Kim Holderness]

Is not drinking, like, are you doing, like, a dry January?

[Penn Holderness]

No, just. I just told myself, like, let's. We got back from Cancun, and it's not like I got sloshed there, but I was like, let's give this a go.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

And like, I, I'll. That's another thing. I'm not setting a limit for it. I feel like if I set a limit for it, then, like, the day that it's over, I'm gonna go to like, chicken and wings.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

I mean, my son and I are going to a football game this weekend. Might do something there, but also might not. And like, that internal North Star vibe, super works for me. And you've got that.

[Kim Holderness]

I do. And I, I think you know what I'm feeling.

[Penn Holderness]

Penn, what's up, babe?

[Kim Holderness]

I think that.

[Penn Holderness]

Talk to the Pinster.

[Kim Holderness]

I feel at this age there, by the way, I do care about a lot and the things that fill me with rage, we don't talk about on our platforms. Right. So I spend a lot of energy because we want to be. We want. It's lifelines. We want to be in a place where we can laugh and we can look at daily life and we can find the humor in it. Every email that we get, every comment that we get when we meet people in person, it's, thank you for being a space on the Internet where I can just relax, hands off. Relax, laugh, chill and feel safe doing that. I need that. I want that. But is there in 2026, a way that I can be very gentle on myself? I can, I can give myself grace, but also when there's time, be brave for others. And I, I just feel like people who say, oh, just don't get it. They. They tell us when, when we do make a stand because we have, like, we, we have put our, you know, flag in. In very certain issues if you pay attention. Right.

[Penn Holderness]

We don't definitely try not to shove it down people's throats, but.

[Kim Holderness]

No, but it's there. And they're like, oh, don't get political. Everything's political, guys. So I space on this podcast that offers more nuance where I can just be allowed to say what we're experiencing now is not normal. And, and like, is there because that would feel good for me to be able to do that.

[Penn Holderness]

So do you want me to try to answer the question? Because I think I have, like, some suggestions or thoughts here.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay. So first of all, it is laugh lines. You can laugh about anything. We talk about what Alzheimer's on here and we laugh about it because some of it is hysterical, you know, so let's, let's put that out there. I think you can, you can be light hearted when talking about these things, even if they mean something to You. The challenge that I always try to figure out, the places where we reach the most people are Instagram, Facebook. Right? Those are the two places that have the most virulent viral commenting sections, where that takes on a mind of its own. I would put Facebook at number one on this. And it's tough when you take a stand about something and you're projecting a message of positivity and love. The comments don't. They just don't. It gets. It gets into an argument beneath us, right? And that's. And that's part of the experience. So people see that as part of our content. And so it is very difficult to have a positive message surrounding this because it always deteriorates down there in those two platforms.

[Kim Holderness]

I just feel like when I say I, what I'm telling you guys very honestly, like, I just don't care about anything. I think is that I don't care. I don't care about, like, how my jeans fit. I don't care about, like, the wrinkles I have on my face. I very, like, makes me want to vomit that. We are, like, we are chasing people in the streets for the color of their skin, right? We have. We live in a neighborhood where every house is being knocked down and every. Our street's being repaired. It is like, it's a suburban war zone over here, and there's so much construction. When ICE is here, nobody's working. And it's like. And these people, a lot of them are here very legally. And so I'm just, like, it's affecting our. There's just so much that gets me so riled up that I don't have space to care about the other stuff. So therefore, am I showing up in an honest way on these platforms that I think that people appreciate. So I'm not saying that we're going to sit there and do political parodies. Like, I don't think that we turn into a place like the Daily Show. Like, I don't. They do a brilliant job of making comedy and that we're not doing that at all. Because I do think primarily, like, I don't even want to live in that space because I read enough about it. But just, like, is there a space for us in 2026 to show people who we actually are?

[Penn Holderness]

We give it a go, give it a floor run. I mean, I think we do a pretty good job. I think we do a decent job telling people.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah, we do. We're not hiding it.

[Penn Holderness]

Just to clarify one thing. You're not, like, upset that construction has stopped no, when you said that, like, that wasn't. It's actually was. It was when you said, like, construct. That's not a complaint that you're making. That's an observation.

[Kim Holderness]

It was an observation, but also. But no, I, I, I, I don't love the sound of construction all day, but it made me really sad that nobody, Nobody felt safe enough to show up for work.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

And that. Yeah. Well, thank you for clarifying. Yeah. Like, it made me very sad to walk by all of these places, and it was like, pin drop, which is what. But, but it. If you, like, we're in our neighborhood, you know, like, every house is under construction. So it made me really sad that people didn't feel safe. This is just what I'm fighting internally. And if I'm, If I'm supposed to show up in a way and be my authentic self, that is who I authentically am. And that's. That is honestly why we go into these meeting. Like, we have a team meeting every Monday, and we, like, have so much fun, and we're coming up with, like, ideas of what. And they're like. And it always starts with, like, Kim Penn, what's on your mind? Like, what's the thing? And I'm like, it is weird that we got a whole. We got millions of pages of pedophiles, and we're not even, like, we're not trusting women on this. Like, that's what's on my mind.

[Penn Holderness]

But we can't.

[Kim Holderness]

How do we do a parody about release the MC List?

[Penn Holderness]

We can't. That's not gonna work.

[Kim Holderness]

It's so, like, jazz hands, release the list.

[Penn Holderness]

So let's. You know what? Let's just do it.

[Kim Holderness]

I think that we've probably, for a show called Laughline, spiraled on this a little long, but this isn't gonna make.

[Penn Holderness]

It under the air, is it? There's no. No way if this makes it on the air.

[Kim Holderness]

But okay, like, let's be honest. I think about this so much my daily life, that when I'm looking for pot or why I read so many freaking books right now is because I want a distraction from this. So that's what. That's the battle. And I love this audience. I feel like the laugh lines audience. You are our people. So I would love your feedback. I mean, it would.

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, we're gonna get feedback.

[Kim Holderness]

We're not all anything. We're not all comedy. We're not all skits. We're not all songs. Like, we're not all. We're humans and humans are so we're so different in our daily life. I mean, I'm a mom, I'm a sister, I'm a daughter, I'm all these things. I play a different role. So we should be allowed to show up as that if we are putting our name on something. Anyway, happy 2026 y'. All. This is what's in my brain. More on this after these words.

[Penn Holderness]

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[Kim Holderness]

They say new Year, New Me, but the New Year doesn't require a new you. Maybe just a less burdened you.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, therapy can help more easily identify what's weighing you down or holding you back by offering an unbiased perspective to better understand your relationships, your motivations and your emotions.

[Kim Holderness]

As you all know, I'm working on letting go go of my need for perfection and we're going for Medium in 2026. So find your medium with therapy.

[Penn Holderness]

Better Help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the us Better Help does.

[Kim Holderness]

The initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals.

[Penn Holderness]

And if you aren't happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored rex.

[Kim Holderness]

With over 30,000 therapist, better help is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, Having served over 5 million people.

[Penn Holderness]

Globally and it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews.

[Kim Holderness]

BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10 [e-mail] Holderness.

[Penn Holderness]

That'S better help h lp.com Holderness this.

[Kim Holderness]

Episode of Laugh Lines is brought to you by Wild Grain.

[Penn Holderness]

Wild Grain is the first bake from frozen subscription box for sourdough breads, artisanal pastries and fresh pastas. Plus all items conveniently bake in 25 minutes or less.

[Kim Holderness]

Unlike many store bought options, Wild Grain uses simple ingredients you can pronounce and slow fermentation process that can be easier on your belly and richer in nutrients, nutrients and antioxidants. There are no preservatives and no shortcuts.

[Penn Holderness]

Wild Grains boxes are fully customizable. In addition to their variety box, they have a gluten free box, a vegan box and a new protein box.

[Kim Holderness]

We got some delicious sourdough bread sent directly to our door and you can't beat the convenience of delivery and baking in under 25 minutes.

[Penn Holderness]

There's nothing like having an artisan bakery in your freezer to chase away the Winter Chip. Now is the best time to stay in and enjoy comforting homemade meals with Wild Grain. We highly recommend giving Wild Grain a try.

[Kim Holderness]

Right now, Wild Grain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box plus free Croissants for Life when you go to wildgrain.com laugh to start your subscription today.

[Penn Holderness]

That's $30 off your first box and free Croissants for Life when YOU visit wildgrain.com laugh. Or you can use the promo code Laugh at checkout.

[Kim Holderness]

This episode is sponsored by gab.

[Penn Holderness]

As we know, the youth mental health crisis is all over the news and we know that social media is a huge driving factor.

[Kim Holderness]

Did you know the US Surgeon General warns that kids who spend more than three hours a day online are twice as likely to have depression and anxiety?

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, we are huge advocates for prioritizing mental health and that includes monitoring the time that we and our kids spend in front of devices.

[Kim Holderness]

I personally keep my phone out of the bedroom at night so I don't spend hours mindlessly scrolling rather than getting a good night's sleep.

[Penn Holderness]

Here's the good news though. A company called GAB has solved that problem by doing something no one else is doing. Their approach is tech and Steps.

[Kim Holderness]

Tech and Steps works by providing kids safe phones and watches tailored to every age, offering the right device at the right time.

[Penn Holderness]

From GPS tracking enabled watches for young kids to increase features and parent enabled apps on the phones for tweens and teens, each device grows with your child.

[Kim Holderness]

Bottom line, you don't have to give your kids a device that was made for an adult. Get them gab, which keeps them socially connected safely.

[Penn Holderness]

Use our code to get the best deal on something that'll make parenting easier and give you some peace of mind. Visit gab.com holderness and use that code Holderness for a special offer that's G-A.

[Kim Holderness]

B B.com Holderness Ladies and gentlemen, now we're transitioning to where we're going to be fun again. Penn is going to find a way to transition from that previous conversation to for my road to 50.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay, okay. So we're all trying to do better as a nation.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay.

[Penn Holderness]

And as a community for each other. We really are. But part of that is focusing on some of your individual goals that have nothing to do with politics. And those goals I am very welcoming to at this point. For example, Kim is on a road to 50. Woohoo. She's almost there. She set some audacious goals, some of which, honestly, the ones that I thought there was no Way in hell that she was going to get to, she's gotten to. And the one that I thought she'd easily be able to get to, she paid no attention. Attention to. So. Yeah. So let's, let's turn it over to Kim for something totally different. How was that?

[Kim Holderness]

That was great.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

You did 10 out of 10. Okay, I, I do remember when I told you, I think on this podcast when I said I wanted to read 50 books, you know, this year, you were like, I don't know, I'm doing the math. And that's like almost like a book a week. And you were, you were, you were a little doubting. But I'm. It's January. It's like first week of January. I've already read two books first week of January. See, so that I'm very proud of myself. I've, I've recreated a reading habit that I'm very proud of. Mostly because I want to avoid doom scrolling because I was, I was getting very anxious and worked up. I get very worked up and I was getting worked up at night. So this has helped me immensely.

[Penn Holderness]

Funny story. So last night it was 6:45 and, and like I had finished dinner and I was like, oh, hey babe, you want to watch it?

[Kim Holderness]

It's gone.

[Penn Holderness]

And I, so I called upstairs. I'm like, it's 6:40. She's like, yep, I'm in bed. I'm reading. I'm like, are you, are you done for the night? You're like, no, no, I'm. I'll be down. She never came down.

[Kim Holderness]

Kim never came downstairs.

[Penn Holderness]

6:45. So I do miss you because that was like, used to be our time to kind of like hang out because we work during the day. So I guess I'll just have to, to go up and you know what?

[Kim Holderness]

I will say that if, if it is a choice between watching a space movie. Love you. Or reading my book, I'm gonna read my book.

[Penn Holderness]

I called you about watching Pluribus, which is not at all a space movie. And it's not supposed to be an amazing like new.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay, you call Sam next time. What is Pluribus about?

[Penn Holderness]

According to the preview, this woman has like all of a sudden woken up in this alternate reality where everything is perfect and she's miserable because of this.

[Kim Holderness]

It sounds a little spacey.

[Sam Allen]

It's 100 science fiction. Everyone has been like implanted with an alien thing.

[Penn Holderness]

We don't have to tell her that. Sam.

[Sam Allen]

Immune to like the happy alien that's stuck in everyone's brain, which Is.

[Penn Holderness]

Kind of a thing with, like, you would not.

[Kim Holderness]

I would be so salty. I. I'm immune to happiness.

[Penn Holderness]

Kim is the main character. No, I feel like it's so.

[Sam Allen]

Imagine if everyone around you was just, like, happy and wanted you to be happy and everything was.

[Kim Holderness]

I feel like that's the life. That's a house I live in. He wants me to be happy. So freaking happy all the time. And now that it's just the. Is PC and Pen, it's so happy here. They're so happy. And I'm like, There's so much laughter.

[Sam Allen]

Anywho, OOBA sounds like something we could review on Space Cadet.

[Kim Holderness]

What a great set. Okay, friends, you have to give us so much feedback on this episode.

[Penn Holderness]

Kim has made a New Year's resolution for me, I think, is what's about to happen.

[Kim Holderness]

No. Okay. We've talked a lot. If you're a loyal listener, about Penn Needs a space podcast. Because, honestly, he needs friends to talk about space things because he tries so hard to get me, and I'm trying to. Because I think it's important that you care about what your partner cares about. So I'm trying so hard, but I'm just failing miserably. So I think Pen and Sam should have a podcast called Space Cadet where you talk about space and adhd.

[Penn Holderness]

Or Sci Fi.

[Kim Holderness]

Or Sci Fi.

[Penn Holderness]

Right. This is not a good business decision for us.

[Kim Holderness]

No, but it's fine. While.

[Penn Holderness]

While I love it. Like, I would have more fun with this than anything else, but I think.

[Kim Holderness]

You should do it.

[Sam Allen]

Forget money.

[Kim Holderness]

Forget. Who needs money?

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Sam Allen]

You and I get to talk for an hour every week about our favorite topic.

[Penn Holderness]

So, like, no preparation.

[Kim Holderness]

No, there needs to be.

[Sam Allen]

I've already prepped.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay.

[Sam Allen]

What if that's okay? What if you come in empty, blind, and I prep everything?

[Penn Holderness]

Okay.

[Sam Allen]

So I'm taking the work away from you.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay.

[Sam Allen]

I set up the episode, and I just. I just throw you stuff, and you.

[Kim Holderness]

You can comment and would you be. You could, like, interview authors of science fiction, or you can do review books you've read. But also, are you. Com. Is it just space? Are we talking adhd?

[Sam Allen]

I did some research on this.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay.

[Sam Allen]

And I think it would be really cool to combine the two.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay.

[Sam Allen]

To talk about how. Why ADHD brains like space inside. Maybe in Sci Fi. Maybe if an ADHD brain, would that make you better at being an astronaut or not?

[Kim Holderness]

Okay, so this is where we need feedback from the listeners. Is that something. Should we do a segment called Space Cadet or should it be a Spin off podcast.

[Penn Holderness]

A daily spinoff.

[Sam Allen]

What if it's just. Just a three or four episode special?

[Kim Holderness]

Okay.

[Sam Allen]

And since I know we care about.

[Penn Holderness]

Money, pre sell it to NASA.

[Kim Holderness]

No. Okay.

[Sam Allen]

It's a little bit of a promo for the book.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah. I mean, that's it. That's a children's book. But it could also just be a promo for our regular ADHD book. Yeah, it's still available. I like, I. You had me at I don't have to do any prep work.

[Sam Allen]

Okay, great.

[Penn Holderness]

So. So yeah, if the rest of the team takes a look at this and sees it as an excellent use of our time, I'm here for it. We'll get a back, we'll get a backdrop.

[Sam Allen]

I think that we should just get a poster.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah, that's like. Or just like tape it over laugh lines.

[Sam Allen]

Yeah. Like it's a cardboard sign and I think you should write it in Sharpie.

[Penn Holderness]

Love it.

[Kim Holderness]

Here's also something I'm feeling in 2026. Like, let's follow the fun. Right? Okay. Like if that feels good and that feels fun. Like if you. I. I do believe in the core of who I am. If you truly find something, like if you enjoy, other people will enjoy it.

[Penn Holderness]

So I love talking about this and I could talk about it all day. I don't know if anyone would ever enjoy hearing me talk about it. But I mean, that's what most podcasts.

[Kim Holderness]

I know. There's some weird ass podcasts.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

And what I love is like the com. I have always been fascinated by, like, if you go to like a little southern town, there are these stores that are com. The combinations of things that you would never really think about. It's always like quilting supply and ammunition. And it's like a quilting and ammunition. And it's like obviously those two things. And it would be like chicken wings and sushi roll. And so I just find it in little towns when you combine two random things. So I think that sort of. Of what you would do in this podcast that like.

[Penn Holderness]

So my. My favorite text thread right now is with my. I have four friends and it's called Tinfoil Hat. And it started out about like conspiracy theories about comets and space exploration and aliens.

[Kim Holderness]

Right.

[Penn Holderness]

But then now it's also about the United States men's national soccer team. So it's those. It's. Those are the only two things that we talk about.

[Kim Holderness]

See?

[Penn Holderness]

And it's great.

[Kim Holderness]

I feel like the Venn diagram of people who care about space conspiracy and men's soccer. It's like, it's like a circle.

[Penn Holderness]

It's bigger than you think.

[Kim Holderness]

My road to 50, we didn' probably get to it. I haven't done yeah, books.

[Penn Holderness]

We read books.

[Kim Holderness]

We're books. Anyway, we can fast forward. I have not done. I, I said I was going to do an unassisted pull up. I haven't even done a push up. I've done one push up in like the last month. I suck at it.

[Penn Holderness]

You don't suck at it. You've made no effort.

[Kim Holderness]

I've made zero. And I, and I, here's 2026 me. I'm gonna give myself some grace. Like I'm just, I, I, I don't care.

[Penn Holderness]

Not gonna go for the point.

[Kim Holderness]

I'm, you know what? I'm gonna be new year, slightly improved me. I'm gonna start doing some push ups.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay. Push ups are great.

[Kim Holderness]

Push ups are great. Thank you for joining us on our first episode back of this year of 2026 and thank you in advance for all the feedback you're gonna give us. We gave you some homework.

[Penn Holderness]

We sure did. Laugh Lines is written and produced by Kim Holderness, Penn Holderness and Anne Marie Tapke with original music by Pen Holderness. It is filmed, edited and live produced by Sam Allen and hosted by acast. As always, we love to hear from you. Please write to [e-mail] or leave a voicemail. Kim, it's a new year. Do you still remember the number? Don't look.

[Kim Holderness]

323-364-3929.

[Penn Holderness]

You got it? Yes.

[Kim Holderness]

I needed a little.

[Penn Holderness]

No, but sometimes you don't carry things into the new year that you remember.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, I've chunked so much out of my brain.

[Penn Holderness]

Anyway, we'll talk to you soon on Laugh Lines.

[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Penn Holderness]

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