Real College Advice with Dr. Lisa Damour

Summary

Episode Summary: Real College Advice with Dr. Lisa Damour

Laugh Lines with Kim & Penn Holderness delves deep into the critical transition of sending children off to college. In this heartfelt and insightful episode, hosts Kim and Penn Holderness are joined by renowned clinical psychologist and bestselling author, Dr. Lisa D'Amour. Together, they explore practical strategies and emotional support systems essential for parents and their teens navigating the leap into higher education and independent living.

Introduction: Setting the Stage

The episode begins with the Holdernesses sharing a humorous skit about selling a car rapidly through Carvana, seamlessly transitioning into discussions about mental health with a promotion for the Headspace app. This sets a lighthearted yet purposeful tone, emphasizing the importance of preparation and well-being as children embark on new life chapters.

Main Discussion: Preparing for College Independence

[08:26] Penn Holderness introduces Dr. Lisa D'Amour, highlighting her expertise and the profound impact of her work on adolescent development. The conversation swiftly moves to the pivotal topic: "What Parents Can Do to Ensure a Successful College Transition for Their Kids."

Dr. Lisa D'Amour emphasizes that graduating high school and being ready for college are two distinct milestones. She states, "[10:34] - if your kid finds themselves in a tricky physical interaction, something that started out as fun and intimate and then took a turn, does that kid have a plan for how to get out of that?" This underscores the need for practical safety plans alongside academic readiness.

Essential Milestones and Practical Skills

Kim Holderness introduces the concept of "enrolled, enlisted, or employed," stressing that college readiness goes beyond academic credentials. She advises parents to ensure their children can manage self-care, highlighting responsibilities like personal safety and decision-making in social situations.

Dr. Lisa D'Amour probes further into the practical skills necessary for independence, prompting Kim to acknowledge that while tasks like doing laundry can often be learned on the fly, critical safety measures require more deliberate preparation.

Navigating Parental Involvement vs. Independence

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around finding the balance between being supportive and avoiding over-managing. Dr. Lisa D'Amour reflects, "[13:10] - how much is too much in terms of interference from a parent?" Kim responds by sharing her experience of gradually handing over responsibilities to her daughter, following the model: "do for, do with, stand by to admire, and then hand it off."

Adapting Communication Channels

Kim Holderness highlights the importance of adapting communication methods, particularly through texting, to maintain a supportive yet non-intrusive presence in their children's lives. She shares, "[15:23] - texting... is a way to be available without being very intrusive." This modern approach ensures parents stay connected without overwhelming their college-bound kids.

Listener Contributions: Real-Life Advice

The episode features an engaging segment where listener emails and voicemails provide invaluable college advice, categorized into three sections:

1. Get Over It and Have the Tough Conversation

   • Example Quote: "Stay with your pants." – Kim LeBlanc, emphasizing both personal safety and responsibility.

2. Basic Life Skills

   • Advice on managing laundry, understanding renters insurance, and setting up medical power of attorney.
   • Notable Insight: "If you don’t know your Social Security number when you go to college, you’re not alone." – Kim Holderness

3. Handling Academic and Social Aspects

   • Encouragement to engage with professors, attend office hours, and participate in diverse campus activities.
   • Example Quote: "You should be in that process with a lot of these things, but it's not like one day suddenly you're on your own." – Kim Holderness

Safety and Health Concerns

A recurring theme is the heightened awareness of safety and health issues among college students. Dr. Lisa D'Amour shares alarming statistics about the rise in depression and anxiety linked to excessive social media use, urging parents to monitor and support their children’s mental health actively.

Emotional Adjustments and Parental Emotions

Kim candidly discusses her emotional journey of sending her daughter to college, dispelling the notion that parents must always exhibit overwhelming emotion. She recounts, "[27:06] - We dropped her off in college and were elated because it was a significant achievement." This personal narrative resonates with many parents' mixed feelings of pride and loss.

Practical Tips and Final Advice

The episode concludes with a compilation of practical tips from listeners, such as:

• Medical Amnesty Awareness: Understanding campus policies that protect students seeking help during overdoses.
• Condom and STD Information: Encouraging responsible sexual health practices.
• Effective Communication: Utilizing structured conversations to discuss logistical and emotional aspects of college life.

Example Quote:
"Stay with your pants." – Kim LeBlanc, serves as both a humorous and serious reminder of personal responsibility.

Closing Anecdotes and Lighthearted Moments

In the final segments, the hosts and Dr. D'Amour share nostalgic and humorous stories about their first cars, reinforcing the blend of practical advice with relatable, entertaining content that defines Laugh Lines.

Conclusion

This episode of Laugh Lines deftly balances humor with heartfelt advice, offering parents a comprehensive guide to preparing their children for the myriad challenges and joys of college life. Dr. Lisa D'Amour's expert insights, combined with the Holdernesses' engaging hosting, provide a valuable resource for fostering successful transitions into adulthood.

Notable Moments:

• [10:34] Dr. Lisa D'Amour on safety plans for college students.
• [13:10] Discussion on balancing parental support and independence.
• [15:23] Kim Holderness emphasizes the role of texting in modern parenting.
• [27:06] Kim shares her emotional yet triumphant experience of sending her daughter to college.

For parents navigating this significant life change, this episode offers both strategic advice and emotional reassurance, encapsulating the essence of aging and learning together.

Transcript

[Penn Holderness]

Location the lab Quinton only has 24 hours to sell his car.

[Kim Holderness]

Is that even possible? He goes to Carvana.com what is this, a movie trailer?

[Penn Holderness]

He ignores the doubters, enters his license plate. Wow, that's a great offer. The car is sold, but will Carvana.

[Kim Holderness]

Pick it up in time for it?

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

They'll literally pick it up tomorrow morning.

[Kim Holderness]

Done with the dramatics.

[Penn Holderness]

Car selling in record time.

[Kim Holderness]

Save your time.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Go to Carvana.com and sell your car today. Pickup fees may apply. Ever had this conversation? You meet someone, they say, hey, how you doing? And without thinking, you just reply, I'm good. You? Well, I decided when I say I'm good, I want to mean it. That's why I'm using Headspace.

[Penn Holderness]

Headspace is the app that helps 100 million people with their mental health and well being with guided meditations, mindfulness practices, breathing and calming exercises, and so much more.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Headspace combines scientifically proven benefits of meditation and mindfulness with modern practices, and you learn from experienced meditation teachers.

[Penn Holderness]

The app has customized, personalized approaches to help you navigate through all of life's moments, whether they're big or small.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

If you're a total newbie or you've been meditating for years, there's always content for what you're going through. Whenever I use it, I feel like it's made just for me.

[Penn Holderness]

And when you're short on time, Headspace has these quick on the go programs that help you get in the right headspace in just a few minutes. Plus, with over a thousand hours of mindfulness exercises, it's got the most complete meditation library I've ever seen, so you can always find something that works for you.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I am reducing stress, boosting my mood, and sleeping better with Headspace's sleep casts. Beautiful stories narrated by calming voices send me right to dreamland.

[Penn Holderness]

Feel good, and mean it when you say it. For a limited time, get headspace Free for 60 days. Just go to headspace.com laughlines that's H-E-A-S-P-A.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

C E.com laughlines to unlock all of Headspace. Free for 60 days headspace.com laugh laugh lines this episode is sponsored by Gab.

[Penn Holderness]

As we know, the youth mental health crisis is all over the news, and we know that social media is a huge driving factor.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Did you know the US Surgeon General warns that kids who spend more than three hours a day online are twice as likely to have depression and anxiety?

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, we are huge advocates for prioritizing mental health, and that includes monitoring the time that we and our kids spend in front of devices.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I personally keep my phone out of the bedroom at night so I don't spend hours mindlessly scrol rather than getting a good night's sleep.

[Penn Holderness]

Here's the good news though. A company called Gab has solved that problem by doing something no one else is doing. Their approach is tech and steps.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Teckin Steps works by providing kids safe phones and watches tailored to every age, offering the right device at the right time.

[Penn Holderness]

From GPS tracking enabled watches for young kids to increased features and parent enabled apps on the phones for tweens and teens. Each device grows with your child.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Bottom line, you don't have to give your kids a device that was made for an adult. Get them Gab, which keeps them socially connected safely use our code to get.

[Penn Holderness]

The best deal on something that'll make parenting easier and give you some peace of mind. Visit gab.com holderness and use that code Holderness for a special offer that's G-A.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

B-B.com Holderness and they asked for whatever reason, like the social. He gave like his Instagram handle.

[Penn Holderness]

I think that was the first thing I thought of too. And I'm 50. I thought you meant like, what's your Instagram handle?

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Repeat the song. Don't be polite to men who creep you out.

[Penn Holderness]

Don't be polite to men who creep you out. Trust your gut. Don't walk alone at night. It's a. It's Britney Spears.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I struggle with that because I don't know if I do the best job at it.

[Penn Holderness]

If you do the best job you can, it's the best job. Yeah, we get older every day. Got more wrinkles. That's okay. Yeah, we're laughing. When we age, life is like a comedy stage. And that's why we got deaf lines.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Hey, everybody, I'm Kim Holderness.

[Penn Holderness]

And I'm Penn Holderness. And welcome to another edition of Laugh Lines. If you're one of those types of people who has to turn down the car radio to see better, this show is for you. And yes, I can see better when the music's not as loud or when people aren't yelling as loud in the back of the car.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah, I just. It just helps me focus. And this is just where we are now. This podcast is really meant to celebrate the aging process and celebrate just life as we continue to know it.

[Penn Holderness]

And for us, a big part of the aging process is our kids are aging out of the house. Yeah, it's happening.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

And what I love about this community is I Feel like you're aging with us. Yeah. You know, remember we had this agency and we are no longer with them, but we were talking about our age and we did a video about turning 40 and they said, oh, don't talk about that. People don't want to, you know, people don't want to hear about that opposite. And my response was, so the people on the other end of the Internet aren't aging. So I love that this community is aging with us. And I have to say we have a. A wider reach than I thought because you're going to hear on the laugh lines today and some advice given from, like, college students. So some young. There's some youngins out there.

[Penn Holderness]

This is all about anyone either going to college or leaving the nest and their parents and the community around them. Like, what's some advice that you would give?

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I have to say I, you know, I'm not an easy crier, but I got so emotional because we put this call out on Instagram to email us, call us, send us a message. And we got hundreds and hundreds of responses. And they're just showing up for people they don't know just to help, you know, a kid have a better time. And so it was really touching to me. It's not easy to. To parent a child, minimum, and then to make sure they're ready to leave the nest. They don't write enough books about this part. Or maybe they do and I'm too busy to read them.

[Penn Holderness]

Well, we do have someone who's written many books on this part who we're going to bring in very, very shortly. Dr. Lisa D' Amore, who is probably like, if there's a Mount Rushmore of guests on. On laugh lines, she is on the Mount Rushmore. Before we get to Dr. Lisa, we were talking about how amazed we were by the thousands of comments that we got from this community trying to help us get kids ready for college. There was another email sort of stuck in the middle there that was about a prior show that we did about how. How do we survive the 90s, all the weird stuff going on in the 90s. And so Ms. Sandifer pe we had donkey basketball.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

A company brought donkeys with special shoes into the gym. The teachers rode them while playing basketball.

[Penn Holderness]

So this happened in the 90s.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Does this. Okay, first of all, what shoes does a donkey wear?

[Penn Holderness]

Well, I think it's just. It's like a horseshoe. It's not like they're not like, lacing up Converses. No, yeah, no, A horse. A horseshoe is a horseshoe. It's the little.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Hold on. So I did some research on this.

[Penn Holderness]

Because I thought this person was lying, to be honest. Okay.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Could not imagine it. And I saw a actually recent video.

[Penn Holderness]

I think that this is still happening.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

In some of our rural areas.

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, donkey basketball.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

People that maybe own donkeys have easy access to it. Access to donkeys. I think my understanding is it's sort.

[Penn Holderness]

Of just a protective piece between the.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Donkey foot and the floor.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, it's a horseshoe.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Not for the donkey, but probably to protect the basketball.

[Penn Holderness]

Right.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Oh, okay.

[Penn Holderness]

So it sounds inhumane, but you've seen a horseshoe, right? You toss a horseshoe. That shoe. That's. I don't want to mansplain anything, but that's like a metal thing that you nail into the bottom of a horse's foot. Right. So I'm guessing that instead of a metal horseshoe, that's a rubber.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

You guys shoot. Right. I read this. I was imagining like a Cabbage Patch doll site, like, but a bigger shoe that somebody sat there and laced up. I always imagine every donkey gets every. Every donkey in like, converse. I am such an idiot. As always, we love your messages and comments, so make sure to leave us voicemail or send us an email.

[Penn Holderness]

Let's get to the main event, shall we? Dr. Lisa D' Amore is a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and co host of the popular podcast Ask Lisa the Psychology of Parenting.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

It's a great podcast, by the way. You might know her from her many books, Untangled and Under Pressure, where she dives into the emotional lives of teenage girls and most recently, the emotional lives of teenagers, which is changing the way parents and educators understand adolescent development.

[Penn Holderness]

Today, she's going to talk to us about the most important things that we can do as parents to set our kids up to have a successful launch into the real world.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Stay tuned. After our interview with Dr. Lisa, we have some for real, real, real talk advice that your kids should hear before leaving the nest. Welcome to the show, Dr. Lisa.

[Kim Holderness]

Thank you for having me. This is my favorite place to be.

[Penn Holderness]

Just quickly to let people know. Lisa is essentially a. A blue anti anxiety depression pill for us anytime in the form of a calming, wonderful human being. And so every time we talk to her, it comes from a very personal place. And she finds this wonderful way to not only address us, but also the rest of the world.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

Which is kind of incredible.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

So thank you for spending your time with us.

[Kim Holderness]

Our friendship and collaboration is one of my favorite things.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Oh, well, okay. We sent you the email. It's like, hey, help us talk about Launching kids into the world. And it hits us at a time where I'm like, oh, I'm totally fine. My daughter graduated from high school. I'm totally fine. Totally fine. But then I'm like, not sleeping and I'm. But I'm like, oh, I'm fine. That has nothing to do with it. So help me feel better here from a developmental perspective. Like, she's ready. These kids are ready, right?

[Kim Holderness]

Well, your kid may be ready. Not every kid is ready, but your kid may be ready.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

What kind of milestones should teens ideally be reaching before they tech take the next step of independence? Whether that's college or moving out on their own or what does that look like?

[Kim Holderness]

Okay, so one of my favorite superintendents in my area talks about being enrolled, enlisted, or employed. Right. That they're going to do something after high school. And. And I think that what is really key is to uncouple college, high school graduation, the skills it takes to graduate from high school with the skills it takes to live independently and move out of your family's home. Those are two different things.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yes.

[Kim Holderness]

And, you know, I do a lot of work around college stuff, and unfortunately, it gets rolled up together sometimes that, well, if you've graduated from high school, you must be ready for college. And that is not always true. So if we just use the college example, but I think you could extend it to anything else. What we're asking is that you're able to take good care of yourself, that you see looking after yourself as your job. Not all kids are there. That's what I would say if I had to give the headline of before they leave your home, do they understand that their care and safety is their responsibility?

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Okay, so practically speaking, beyond, you know, academics and that diploma, what sort of practical skills do they need to know how to do for themselves?

[Kim Holderness]

A lot of things they can figure out, or frankly, they will YouTube. Right. If a kid gets to college and they realize they don't know how to do laundry, they will hop on YouTube and they will teach themselves or they will show up in the laundry room with a plaintive look on their face and somebody will help. So I think there's a lot of just, you know, the kind of. The stuff kids need to know how to do, like, it's great if you can teach them, but if they don't want to hear another word from you about another task or another skill, you know, none of these are life and death. There are, however, things that are life and death, which is, can you count on this kid to Go to a party and leave safely. Right. Those are the questions that really weigh on me when I'm helping families decide if it's time for their kid to move out and, like, say, go to college, where things, you know, there's a lot of activities and a lot of risks involved. So I would actually put more emphasis on questions of, you know, if your kid finds themselves in a tricky physical interaction, something that started out as fun and intimate and then started to take a turn, does that kid have a plan for how to get out of that so that it doesn't go further than it, you know, than they want it to? I know I'm going right to, like, part of terrifying fear, but, like, these are the things that really need to be addressed. Laundry. You know, how you figure it out? Get your books. They'll figure all that out.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Okay, I'm sorry. One more. I think the theme of our conversations, Lisa, and the conversations Pen and I have been having lately as parents is what's. What's the line? Like, we're want to be supportive, and then there's over managing. And I think in our parenting, if I had to do it all over again, I think I have over managed. And I have said, oh, but this is how I show love. Like, this is how I, I. This is what a mom's supposed to do. But I. I do think, especially for my son, because he's like, my cute little baby. I feel like I've done way too. I know he's nodding because we had an issue.

[Penn Holderness]

No, I'm not nodding.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

No, because we've had. We had an issue this morning. How much is too much in terms of interference from a. From a parent?

[Kim Holderness]

So as a starter, I will just say it's sometimes really fun to do nice things for our kids. Like, I just. I don't want to sleep on the pleasure of that. My older daughter used to walk to our high school. She's now a rising college senior, which I cannot believe.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Crazy.

[Kim Holderness]

You know, and there were mornings where I was like, want me to drive you? Right. I mean, could she get there? Of course. Right. But it was, like, fun for me. So I just. I'm not of the mind of, like, if they could do it, they should totally do it. Never step in. I think the question starts to become, can they do it? Could they do it with some support and some teaching? Is this something that they're going to need to take over eventually? You know, I think those are the kinds of questions that should be borne in mind as we're thinking about handing things off to kids. I will also say, in my training, I worked with a psychoanalyst who took care of toddlers, and she had this model of, first you do for, then you do with, then you stand by to admire, and then you hand it off to the kid. So. Exactly. So it's not like either you do it or I do it. A lot of what we're doing is sort of this gradual moving over of handing things off. And it takes time and process. And so I would just say, like, you should be in that process with a lot of these things, but it's not like one day suddenly you're like, all right, buddy, you're on your own. Right? You have to teach them things.

[Penn Holderness]

And you said, four, I want to do it again for, with. And then out of the way for, with.

[Kim Holderness]

Standing by and cheering them. Standing by and cheering, you know, and then, like, they're on their own.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay?

[Kim Holderness]

So we can think about, like, remember teaching your kids how to tie their shoes, Right? First you do it for them, then you take a long time of doing it with them, Then you stand by while they're doing it. You're like, you got it. And then you stop talking about it. Right? So you can take that same model to things like making doctor's appointments, right? That maybe, you know, kids are anxious about using phones. They don't make a lot of phone calls, so sometimes they may need you to do it in front of them, and then they, you know, do it with you, and then you stand by while they do it, and then you're like, okay, now you got it.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

My favorite. There was a video, I think it circulated on Instagram. The. The mom had the son, you know, call the dentist to make appointment for the cleaning. And they asked, for whatever reason, like, the social, like, asked for the social, and he thought I meant, like, social media. He gave, like, his Instagram handle because he, you know, he didn't know. He didn't know. I love that. Yeah. So I. I could. I could see that happening.

[Penn Holderness]

As could I. And, like, when you said social, that. Actually, I think that was the first thing I thought of, too. And I'm 50. I thought you meant, like, what's your Instagram handle?

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Because the doctor needs to know that to that point.

[Kim Holderness]

So I did not know my Social Security number when I went to college because I had never needed to know my Social Security number before then. And I have such a vivid memory of being sick as a dog and going to the health services and this cranky, cranky nurse being like, well, what's your social? And I was like, I don't know. I don't know. Okay. I don't know what happened next. Somehow they still took care of me. Somehow I went home and figured out what my social was.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Right.

[Kim Holderness]

So there's a lot of room for your kid just having to figure it out. And they will.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

And I appreciate that. And I loved your, your note about YouTube. I think more and more people are getting through life, a lot of the important parts of life, just by looking it up on YouTube and someone there to help you out. Even Lola helped select her campus based on like YouTube videos of people just kind of walking them through a day that you wouldn't normally see from a tour. You did mention there's things that, that aren't going to be on YouTube. I want to know maybe for. For boys and for girls. These are separate answers. As a clinical psychologist, what are the things that pop up to families unexpectedly that they didn't realize that they were going to have to learn or be challenged with?

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

More on this after these words.

[Penn Holderness]

Are you looking for a new podcast for your kids? Maybe something to hold their attention on car trips?

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

We know there are a lot of kids podcasts out there, but we found something we think you're gonna love.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, while most of those podcasts are made and hosted by adults, we found one that's for kids. Made by kids and hosted by kids.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Wild Interest.

[Penn Holderness]

Wild Interest. It is super well produced with original music, great sound design and a whole audio mission designed to calm and regulate kids.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

You know, we talk a lot about ADHD in our podcast and one really important thing you can do to thrive with ADHD is regulate your nervous system.

[Penn Holderness]

Absolutely. When people get dysregulated, even people without adhd, actually, Kim, it can snowball and make regular life, well, difficult. Well, Wild Interest is actually designed to help regulate kids nervous systems. There's calm music and thoughtful subject matters and the vocal tone and cadence are all made with the same result in mine. Calm and happy kids, parents.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Try the Wild Interest podcast. You'll be hooked. And it's in its second season, so there's tons of episodes to enjoy.

[Penn Holderness]

Wild Interest follow wherever you get your podcasts. You know, Kim, sun exposure is unavoidable and with so much information out there, it can be hard to know the best way to protect your skin.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Blue Lizard is here to make it easy. With just a few simple steps and many great products to help you and your family stay protected in the sun.

[Penn Holderness]

Step out of the shade and live Fearlessly in the sun with dermatologist and pediatrician Trusted Mineral Sunscreens I seriously love.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Blue Lizard and have been using them for a long time. I love that blue Lizard caps they turn blue when harmful UV rays are present.

[Penn Holderness]

With up to 80 minutes of water resistance, this is the ultimate choice for more fun under the sun.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

My favorite part is that Blue Lizard Sensitive mineral sunscreens are made specifically for sensitive skin. Their formulas are free from potentially irritating hair bends, phthalates and fragrances and their.

[Penn Holderness]

Sunscreen sticks provide broad spectrum UV protection in a compact package for easy application on the go.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Go to blue lizardsunscreen.com to find out more information, which sunscreens are right for your family and where to buy in store or visit the Blue Lizard Australian Sunscreen store on Amazon.

[Penn Holderness]

Be Fearless in the sun with Blue Lizard.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

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[Penn Holderness]

As a clinical psychologist, what are the things that pop up unexpectedly?

[Kim Holderness]

Okay, so there's a couple things. One is not all kids are good at structuring their days. You know, one thing that's true about high school is it keeps kids super busy. They don't really have to think a lot about where they're going to be and when it's kind of handed to them and and it's a not small transition to suddenly be in class one or two hours a day almost max and then having the rest of their time. So I think sometimes kids are a little bit at sea about how to create routines and have habits and stick to them. And so when I'm talking to high school seniors, I will often say you get to create routines now and you're going to feel a lot better if you have one and it's going to take you time to figure it out. But don't wake up every day and think like okay, well now what do we do? Right? Like have some sense of pattern. So that's a low gr one. Something that's actually much more challenging and not at all rare is that your kid is fine but their college roommate is not college ready. That they are living with somebody who either is bombing out academically or out of control socially or really should never have come to college because they are still in a bad place with, say, depression or an eating disorder or uncontrolled anxiety that is not as rare as we would want it to be. And really hard on the kid who's trying to figure out what their role or obligation is to a roommate who is struggling that much.

[Penn Holderness]

But it makes sense. I'm just sitting here thinking, as soon as you said it, I'm, like, picturing this room. It's so small, and you get crammed into it, and you absolutely feel all of the emotions, whether they're saying them out loud or not. And they can't not affect you. Right. And you just said, like, one or two hours max. So you're probably. Unless you're going to the library, you might be spending hours and hours of unscheduled time with this person. And I never thought about it that way until she said it.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. And sometimes it's unassigned. Like you'd just a random assignment.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, I mean, mine was unassigned. I think that my. I think my roommate was like, you're.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

You don't. I've never. Who's your freshman year?

[Penn Holderness]

Scott Saunders. Great guy. But he was like, you don't really.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah, you were.

[Penn Holderness]

That you don't really go to class do.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah, but I just.

[Penn Holderness]

I was very social and. And so I just went from room to room and I found where the Sega was, and we didn't have one in our room.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

So basically you just pray not to get the random pen holders. Don't get me.

[Kim Holderness]

You know, it's interesting. I take care of a bunch of senior classes. I get to do video virtual meetings with senior classes and high schoolers and hear from them about what their concerns are. And I'm hearing different things these days than I used to. So I'm hearing more kids worrying about, like, how they're going to eat the foods that they're used to. That. That's something that is an anxiety that I haven't heard in the past. I think in many ways we eat better than we used to. I also think there may be more unhealthy concerns about food than maybe we used to have. So I'm hearing that. I am hearing. This is. This is alarming to me, and I've already gestured to it. More concerns about, like, how do I not get sexually assaulted? I think that there has been, like, we've really hammered these kids about this danger. And I think, you know, it's important to talk about. And it. There's a part that also sort of breaks my heart that this Is top of mind of how do I, you know, manage college? Is how do I prevent this? So those are the kinds of things kids are thinking about right now.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I will say we did a call out on our Instagram of, you know, what advice would you give a kid about to leave the nest? Go to college, get a job, something like that. And I would say we. We probably got, you know, 500 messages, which was incredible. I would say 400 of them were for girls. Cover your drink. Never go to a party alone. If you go with somebody, you leave with something. It was all personal safety stuff, which is so important. But it. You could tell. And a lot of them had very. Not a lot, but several had examples of when things kind of went wrong and a reason for that fear. So that's just. Was nothing that we ever thought about. And it makes me sad that, I mean, they need to, but it makes me sad. Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

I mean, the hope is that these things will happen less now because we're doing it more now than we used to.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

Can I ask a question?

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

You're allowed to. It's your podcast.

[Penn Holderness]

Lisa, you are. You are our anxiety guru. And for those of you who don't know, she was. She was sort of one of the voices behind the anxiety that existed in this amazing movie called Inside Out 2. She was a consultant in that movie. And if you watch that movie, you know that they, they, they showed anxiety in this wonderful new way where it was kind of crazy and flighty and out there, but also at some point, useful.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Useful.

[Penn Holderness]

True or false. Every child, whether they have anxiety disorder or not, is going to be coping with anxiety when they leave for college, I think.

[Kim Holderness]

True. Because anxiety is a natural emotion that alerts us to threats. So not to hammer this too much, but if you're at a party and it feels out of control, anxiety is a good reaction. Right. And your anxiety is going to be the thing that says, you know what? I should probably leave. Right. So there's value in anxiety. The other thing kids are going to be feeling is stress. And stress is enormous because change equals stress. So when I think with young people about getting ready to leave home, wherever they're going, I will say stress is a done deal because so much is changing and you may be going to the college of your dreams, the job of your dreams. The fact that you're stressed is not a problem. It's an inevitability. And really kind of preparing young people for the idea that it's just so stressful to adapt to all new things. So that they don't get stressed about being stressed.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

We had a chit chat and we were talking about graduating and going to college. And I had said to you, yeah, I haven't really, like gotten super emotional yet. I haven't really done the breakdown and tears yet. I have, but I'm waiting, I'm waiting for.

[Penn Holderness]

I tried to get her.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

He tried to get me to cry one time and it didn't work. And you said to me, you, you may be okay. Like you. Yeah, so like, I'm not a freak, right. I'm very excited for her. Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

So this was something. When I shared that with you, I was sort of working off of my experience of sending my older daughter to college. And I kept having this interaction that felt a little strange to me where people were like, are you okay?

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Are you okay?

[Kim Holderness]

And I was like, yeah. And then I kept thinking like, what's wrong with me? Like, don't I love my kid or something. And the fact of the matter was I really was okay. And in retrospect, I understood it better, you know, so we dropped her off in college and we're driving back across the Pennsylvania Turnpike from dropping her off in college. And I actually was elated. And what it was is I was saying to my husband, I was like, we just dropped a college ready kid at college. Like, that is such an achievement. Like we're like high fiving it on the turnpike. And I will tell you, this doesn't always happen. Right. There are a lot of kids where the parents have done everything that they were supposed to do and the kid's not college ready, or there are things where it's gone badly off the rails and the kid just isn't college ready. And. And so I was like, wait a minute. This has been what we've been all organized toward and working toward all this time. It just came off like, this is great. This is great. So I, I think that I want to voice that because I feel like that part of the story doesn't get told enough. Okay. That said, you do miss them.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah, I already miss her. She's still here?

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah, they're home. And you miss them and you just, you know, you miss like the, the casual interactions in my experience. So just, just so you're ready if this happens to you. Even in the getting ready for her to go, I was fine as long as there was still an item on the to do list. As long as there was something for us to focus on, like, oh, but we also have to do this. And have you gotten that Where I really broke down in tears for the first time was we had gone out to dinner with my in laws who lived nearby and it was like, you know, saying goodbye to her dinner. And we came home and there was nothing left to do but to say goodnight to her in her bed. You know, the last time she was going to bed in her room as a. And. And I was like, whoa. I like lost it at that point.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Like, I think, I think that you.

[Penn Holderness]

Struck a nerve here. This is, this is, this is the charades for you. Got it.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I. Okay, Lisa, stop knowing me so well. So my therapist was like, maybe all of the to do lists you've created is your way of processing. I'm like, but I don't think that's an unhealthy way to process, which. But I've only. There's only a few X's on the Google Doc right now. But when they're all Xed out. Oh.

[Penn Holderness]

So yeah, I mean, like very shortly after Lola even got into college and decided where she was going to go, she had a spreadsheet for parents weekend.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

For parents weekend. I booked move in weekend.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, like verbose and like all that stuff. And so that is striking a chord over here. And I think it's a beautiful sentiment too because your way of coping is like looking after. No, but I think much deeper than that. You're looking after your child. You are like, this is. Because this is what in a lot of ways you were born to do.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I struggle with that because I don't know if I do the best job at it. So I don't know if you do.

[Penn Holderness]

The best job you can. It's the best job.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Welcome to our marriage, Lisa.

[Kim Holderness]

I love it.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

We're processing A kid being ready is different than a parent being ready. We do need to transition our roles. Right? How, how do you do that from going from like parent to more like coach? Like, what's the relationship supposed to trend to?

[Kim Holderness]

This takes time to work out, right? This is, this is, it's tricky and it's complicated because they come home and they have different sense of what the rules should be. You know, in my family, we don't let tech go in bedrooms overnight. Actually, ideally never, but certainly not overnight. And then, you know, now my daughter, she comes home, she takes her phone in her room when she's home. Like she's got it in her room at college. Like, and I have not said no, never mind when you're under our roof, you know, I mean, like, so there are all of these places where parenting, you're making judgment calls, you know, about how late can they stay out once they come home from college and do they really have to let you know where they are? I mean, like, you know, it just, it's, it's a negotiation every step of the way and tricky. What I will say though, in terms of the coaching and the handing off and the supporting, the best thing that has ever happened to sending to a kid to college is the arrival of texting. Texting is the perfect way to interact with a college kid. Do you remember we had to like go find a phone Sunday call.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yes.

[Kim Holderness]

Right. And it was like, sometimes it was hit you at the right time when you wanted it. Often I think sometimes it feels like an obligation or too long or just not.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Not the right time, not the right time.

[Kim Holderness]

Texting. These are these quick, light touch interactions, you know, that it's, it's so rapid, like you can be much more present without being a hovering annoyance. So I would say, you know, it's something that's getting sorted out bit by bit, you know, around questions like, you know, drinking or going out or staying up. But in the, in the day to day with your kid out of the house, texting opens up a phenomenal channel for being available without being very intrusive.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Okay. And it feels safer sometimes to text something.

[Kim Holderness]

Yes.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Than to say it out loud to.

[Kim Holderness]

Get on the phone. Exactly. And, and some, you know, and sometimes it's just like so quick, like what's my Social Security number? Right. Like, like that kind of thing. We couldn't do that in the same way, so it's really easier. I will also say texting, especially in the first year of college, and I want to come back to this because the first year of college with kids is different from subsequent years. It's a good way to have a little quick touch of I'm thinking of you, I miss you, but it's non intrusive. So when I hadn't heard from my daughter for a while, I would take a picture of her little sister and be like, look at this cute outfit she's wearing. And it was just enough to be like, hey, hi.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah, we're still here.

[Kim Holderness]

We're still here. And then she could be like adorable. And I'm like, okay, yeah. And we move on with our day.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Okay. So if you had to, as we wrap up here, the one thing or the big thing you want the kids to know and what's the thing you wish you knew before launching a kid?

[Kim Holderness]

Let me start with the wish you knew. Okay, so back to the first year of college. I had this experience, and I've heard a lot of families have this experience, that it's such a big identity shift for the kid to become a college student living separately and on their own, if that's their college arrangement, that they. I guess we would say almost. They almost overcorrect. They are more aloof, more distant, more remote when they come home. Even that establishing that independence causes them to really need to flex that independence muscle everywhere all the time. After the first year, after that is fully established, like, they have managed a year of college on their own. My experience as a parent, and I've heard from lots of other parents, they warm up again. They can kind of come back into the family in a new way. But it's helpful, I think, to have that long view, because if you're like, whoa, you were living under our roof in the bosom of the family, and now you treat us like we're annoying you all the time. Is this the new relationship? No, it's a temporary establishment of. See how independent I am. And once established, I think there's often a real warming up again. So I wish I had known that because it's a little jarring at the first.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah, that's good advice.

[Kim Holderness]

In terms of. For the kid, what I would say is, number one, it's going to be stressful, done deal, get ready for it. Number two, and. And I will be interested. Like, we should talk in late August to see how this unfolds.

[Penn Holderness]

Good idea.

[Kim Holderness]

Your parents are not trying to annoy you to death on the way out of the house. Okay, so here was the scene.

[Penn Holderness]

I can't wait to hear what happened in the household.

[Kim Holderness]

Otherwise, all summer, like, there actually are a great number of things you have to talk about or deal with, like just logistical, technical things. Okay, so it's summer before your kid's headed to college, if they are, and you have this giant, fabulous spreadsheet of all the stuff that actually legit has to happen. Your kid is trying to spend every minute with their friends. They are busy, okay? So I would almost, like, wait in the kitchen like a lion in the jungle, waiting for my kid to come behind a plant. Ellen, can we. And she'd be like, ah, you're driving me crazy, you know? And so what? I finally. I, like, sometimes I stumble into something useful. I was like, hey, when can we have 20 minutes for me to run down several things? Can I. You know, basically I was like, can I get on your calendar?

[Penn Holderness]

Get A calendar invite.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

And you know what? She was like, fair, fair, like. And it was just the. Trying to attack her. She was already half out the door. Just kept happening and it was ugly. So I guess what I would say to the kids is, your parents are not trying to.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

Bug you. These are legit things. Find time and do it in a structured way so it's not. Doesn't feel like a sneak attack every time.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Lola has already told us I can give her one thing a day. Like we did. We did put this call out and we got so many really useful messages, I'm going to write them up in a blog post.

[Penn Holderness]

This is so true. She'll start running away if we start getting to this.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

So some of them are safety related, but some of us of are like, just like, you should have a. For like frat party shoes, shower sandals. Everybody knows. But like certain shoes that you don't mind getting dirty at frat parties. I'm like, did you know? She's like, mom, I've heard about that. Okay. And then I'll say one more. She's like, that was the one thing. I'm like, oh, that can't be the one thing. That's not good enough to be the one thing. So it's. And she'll start like, backing away. And she's like, see you tomorrow.

[Kim Holderness]

I mean, on the very pragmatic side of things, you should get renters insurance for your kids stuff.

[Penn Holderness]

Good.

[Kim Holderness]

You should deal with medical power of attorney questions.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Oh, yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

Because if your kid is over 18 and, you know, say you have an.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Accident at school, they don't have to tell you.

[Kim Holderness]

No, legally they can't.

[Penn Holderness]

The doctors can't tell you.

[Kim Holderness]

No, you can't. I mean, if you call the hospital and you're like, hi. They're like, we can't call.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

So do I have to call an attorney? Like, what do you do for that?

[Kim Holderness]

We, I think we did it online. Yeah, we found a.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

You know, we found a form online. Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

And I think we had to go get it notarized.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I always love talking to you.

[Penn Holderness]

That's how every interview ends. With you. You always with you exhale after you talk to Dr. Demore.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

You know it. You know why? Because she, she has this very overarching. You have this way of saying, like, it's going to be okay. Like if they, if their laundry gets moldy because they forget to put it in the dryer for three days, it's fine.

[Penn Holderness]

It's fine.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

They have moldy clothes, it's fine. But I would, you know, I would probably instinctively stress about them smelling, but that's fine. Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

Dr. Lisa, tell us what you're working on. Tell us what you're excited about, what we can help promote.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, you are so lovely. You know, I really am trying to just give away as much help to families as I possibly can. So I have a few mechanisms for that. One is our podcast, Ask Lisa the Psychology of Parenting, which you guys are recently wonderful guests guests on. Another is my weekly newsletter, which is free. You can sign up on my website. I spend so much time each week trying to really bullet point key ideas pivoting off of the previous week's podcast, just nuggets for parents. Another is my AI powered librarian on my website named Rosalie, where I took all three of my book manuscripts, all of my newsletters, all the pieces I wrote for the Times, like nearly 100 New York Times pieces. Every podcast transcript dumped it into a gated environment that Rosalie uses to answer questions based on my work. So at 2:00am, if you're like, how do I talk to my kid about fentanyl, which we haven't talked about. Rosalie will give you answers and also direct you to. Here's the podcast where we talked about it, here's the article, whatever. So that's another resource that I want families to know about.

[Penn Holderness]

We remember when Rosalie was, was born. This was like a year or so ago. I was been meaning to ask how Rosalie's doing. Has she, she's, has she matured, grown? Are you noticing a, a growth in Rosalie from when you first started to now?

[Kim Holderness]

So she, what, what happens is every Monday I go in and I find all the questions she couldn't answer. There are fewer and fewer of them and then any that really, you know, she should be able to answer, but she doesn't have an answer for. I work with her on an answer and that gets put into the system. So she's gotten smarter all the time. And it's just, I think AI is scary, but I also think AI is scary if it's searching the whole darn Internet and you don't know the quality of what it's producing.

[Penn Holderness]

This is just you.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah, I have a pretty substantial. I've written a lot and I've made a lot of content. And so it really, what I do is very well suited to a bot that looks at my work only backing up real quick.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Before we let you go, we did get a lot of, you know, people concerned about Fentanyl. One parent, one parent even said fentanyl has really ruined drugs. Like experimentation used to be fun thing to do.

[Penn Holderness]

It's pretty awesome, guys.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

You used to have a little margin for error.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

Now you really don't.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. So what, what are you telling your kids? What should we be telling our kids about fentanyl?

[Kim Holderness]

So here is. Here's what you should tell them, and here's what I did before sending my own kid to college. So the thing we should tell them is basically you have no margin for error that fentanyl can show up anywhere. And the other, you know, in any sort of drug that is, you know, made available, you know, through illegal channels, it is also showing up, I think, I don't know the percentages, but not rarely, probably more often in pills that kids are ordering online that they think are real pills. And it can be things like they forgot their ADHD medication and so they didn't think to fill it. So they order something online and then what they get is tainted or, you know, like their back hurts and so they order something. So basically I would say, you know, drugs are terrifying and you want to be, you know, enormously careful and steer clear. But also, only, only pills you should take are the ones that you have bought at CVS or that you got from the pharmacy yourself. Like, never, ever, ever touch a pill that didn't come through a reliable channel. So that's what I would say then. At the time where my daughter went to college, Ohio was giving away Narcan, and it may still be. And we had to watch a video online where, you know, it shows like how you use Narcan.

[Penn Holderness]

When you use Narcan, that's the antidote to Fentanyl, Right? That's. Or the thing that it's an antidote.

[Kim Holderness]

It actually can and does interfere with an overdose.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Okay.

[Kim Holderness]

And it's the only thing that lets me sleep at night is the availability of Narcan. And so, and then we got, you know, then Ohio sent us Narcan and I sent her to college with it. And I was like, you need to keep this with you and everybody needs to know you have it with you.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

And so I would say, you know, and I know a lot of families and friends of mine who are physicians, who are. You can get it usually, I think at pharmacies, I mean, it's increasingly accessible. It is a life saving solution. And so that is something I think I would definitely do it before sending a kid to college.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Okay, next one. And parents are uncomfortable talking about this sex and having protected sex. I know I. I even have Friends who have said, like, oh, it's so uncomfortable to talk about. I know we have to have some sort of talk before he. She leaves, but guys, that you have to have the conversation. What do you. What are you advising kids know about protection and sex going into leaving the nest?

[Kim Holderness]

I think hopefully it's not the first time you're talking about this, but it may be. I mean, they're not necessarily asking these questions or wanting to have these conversations. We're not always in the mood to bring them up. But suddenly I think with college approaching, we're like, oh, no, we still have to talk about these things. So first of all, I would say try not to do a sneak attack. That will not go well. I think if you have not really broached this or need to revisit it again, I think you should say, look, there's a cause. Couple things I want to touch base with you about before you go to college. Like, when do you have five minutes? And then you get there, five minutes, and you say, I promise this will not go on for more than five minutes. You know, like, I, I will respect your time. You might go on a walk, you might be in the car. And then I think you can say, look, you know, you will decide when you're ready for intercourse. You will decide, you know, how the nature of the relationship you want to have around that, you know, here's our values as a family. What I will tell you. Value is that when we tell kids our values, they roll their eyes and are also more likely to stick with those values. So you might say, look, in our family, you know, intercourse happens in the context of like, you know, marriage or ongoing relationship or the least, you know, somebody bought you dinner. I mean, like, whatever you your values are, they will, but not exclusively.

[Penn Holderness]

If you buy someone dinner, does that happen?

[Kim Holderness]

Not necessarily.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

You don't have to put out every time they buy you dinner. Yeah, okay, anytime.

[Kim Holderness]

But then you just say, look, you know, it should be a wonderful thing. It should be something that you can enjoy. And part of how you're going to be able to enjoy it is if you're not scared about something going wrong. Do you feel like you have the information you need to, you know, if it's heterosexual intercourse to prevent a pregnancy, do you feel like you have the information you need to make sure that an STD doesn't get transmitted? You know, I think that asking those questions. One thing that's interesting is with long acting injectable, you know, under the skin, birth control being so much more common we're seeing much higher rates of STDs because kids aren't using condoms. Condoms.

[Penn Holderness]

Yep.

[Kim Holderness]

Oh, and so it's also, I think, important to be like, hey, belt and suspenders. If you're, you know.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. Both.

[Kim Holderness]

That you're gonna. If you, you know, if you're. If you're having sex with a guy, like, you're gonna need a condom. Whatever else is happening.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. Oh, good point. Belt and suspenders. You heard that, Pen?

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah, I got it.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. I'm trying to think what else. What other, like, practical stuff that's not exactly.

[Kim Holderness]

I think, the drinking piece. I think you can say to a kid, you can go to parties and not drink. You can go to parties and not get drunk. You can. You know, I will say I. I'm someone actually. Alcohol and my body have never been friends. Like, it just has never worked well. Like, I've never felt good with alcohol. So, you know, I tell my kids. I will tell anyone who listens. Like, you know, I went to parties in college. I held a beer periodically. I would go dump it in the bathroom and come back for another beer because people find it uncomfortable if you're not drinking, and they are. So I would just deal with it that way. There are ways to be in social environments and. And not be heavily engaged with alcohol.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. And I. I hope that more kids are aware of that now.

[Penn Holderness]

It seems to me like we've been around, like, proms and parties, and at least when I've been around, they've been way more under control than my friends were.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

So far.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

So far.

[Penn Holderness]

And there is, like, a more sober, curious generation that is coming up behind us. And I think. I think it's, like, more socially acceptable if someone's, like, standing there not holding a drink.

[Kim Holderness]

The research confirms what you're. You know, this is actually the best behaved generation generation on record. They don't do drugs like we did. They drink less than we did. They're having way less sex than we did. This is all, you know, as someone who has dealt with, you know, very, very bad outcomes from these things, I think this is fantastic news.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah.

[Kim Holderness]

Some people, and it's not wrong, like, some of it is. They're also much more socially anxious, you know, pandemic or otherwise. And so they're not doing all of these things in part because they're, you know. Yeah. Less sort of, you know, novelty seeking, risk taking than we were.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I love that. I could phone a friend and just get Dr. Lisa on the phone. Okay. We've already asked and where can people find you? What's your website? What's the best way for people to find you?

[Kim Holderness]

Drlisademore.com has everything. So there's a newsletter sign up. You'll see where you can ask Rosalie questions. You'll see where you can find our podcast on YouTube and all of the platforms where you listen. And you know, I just, I. I really, I know how hard it is to raise kids and I've done this a really long time. I don't have answers to everything, but I've seen a lot. So if, if I can help, you know, save people some trouble, I really hope that they'll make good use of those resources.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

More on this after these words Ever had this conversation? You meet someone, they say, hey, how you doing? And without thinking, you just reply, I'm good. You? Well, I decided when I say I'm good, I want to mean it. That's why I'm using Headspace.

[Penn Holderness]

Headspace is the app that helps 100 million people with their mental health and well being with guided meditations, mindfulness practices, breathing and calming exercises, and so much more.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Headspace combines scientifically proven benefits of meditation and mindfulness with modern practices, and you learn from experienced meditation teachers.

[Penn Holderness]

The app has customized personalized approaches to help you navigate through all of the life's moments, whether they're big or small.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

If you're a total newbie or you've been meditating for years, there's always content for what you're going through. Whenever I use it, I feel like it's made just for me.

[Penn Holderness]

And when you're short on time, Headspace has these quick on the go programs that help you get in the right Headspace in just a few minutes. Plus, with over a thousand hours of mindfulness exercises, it's got the most complete meditation library I've ever seen. So you can always find something that works for you.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I am reducing stress, boosting my mood, and sleeping better with Headspace's sleep casts. Beautiful stories narrated by calming voices. Send me right to dreamland.

[Penn Holderness]

Feel good and mean it when you say it. For a limited time, get headspace free for 60 days. Just go to headspace.com laughlines that's H.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

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[Penn Holderness]

I know you do. She definitely hit the nail in the head in that middle part.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I know.

[Penn Holderness]

When, when, when she was talking about the to do list.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

No, yeah, I, I almost started crying when she was talking about the to do list because I'm thinking about that. But it's fine. Dr. Lisa had some really good emotional and practical advice, as she always does. But we did go to Instagram pen and it, we asked people to email, call, send a message with before you leave the nest, like, what are the things that a kid should know? And there were so many.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

That we're going to be writing a separate blog post because as a parent, I, I wrote down it all. Everything was so great and it was so touching that you guys cared enough to send all this stuff in. But I have separated sort of a best of and I have it in three different categories. The first is get over it and have the tough conversation. So there are some things that are going to be a little awkward.

[Penn Holderness]

That's section one.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

That's section one.

[Penn Holderness]

Get over yourself.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Get over yourself and have the tough conversation. Section two are just some basic life skills that I would say more or less as humans you need to know, not just somebody going into the world. And then three, how to handle academic. You know, you're going to college to be a student, so it should be the first thing we're talking about. But we had actual professors and university staff write in. And those emails I forwarded straight to Lola and I hope she read them because they were, they were really good.

[Penn Holderness]

Getting back to the part we were speaking of earlier where Lola sometimes feels like she can get one a day.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

One a day, one a day. I'm hitting her with a fire hose.

[Penn Holderness]

So if you want to, over the course of the summer, maybe just hit pause after each one of these and then work your way through it or.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Send it to your kid and be like, oh, these people are so annoying, but maybe you might get something from it.

[Penn Holderness]

So just spam them.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Spam them.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Okay. Number one, Kim LeBlanc. You're going to hear from her a few times here. She gives her kids several rules, but the number one rule she gives them is pretty memorable. It says, stay with your pants. So she explains that it started as a funny way to encourage them to keep track of their things when they were younger, but now as they're becoming teens, it's a way to encourage them to keep their pants on. So stay with your pants.

[Penn Holderness]

From a college senior named Stephanie. Forgive me while I look at my non iPad clipboard. Basically, I encourage anyone going away to college to be familiar with the concept of medical amnesty in their state or on their campus. I think it's important for all college students to know that they should always call for help in, in any emergency situations, whether specifically related to alcohol or substance abuse or simply a different medical emergency that occurred while they were under the influence without fear that they will get in legal or university based trouble for participating in underage drinking or substance use. That's, I mean, look, she touches on a lot of things, but maybe the most important thing is like the fear of retribution.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

So I, I had never heard of medical amnesty before and okay, Sam is shaking her head that she had neither. So I looked it up and in our state, the universities, you are, if, if you call for help because you or somebody you know has overdosed or, and you're underage, you know, drinking, you have amnesty, you have, you're not going to get in trouble for it. They just want you to call for help. And I, to me, that's such great advice. So I love that. This comes from a mom from Wake for Wake Forest. She says her best advice, make sure all the roommates have Narcan. It will not hurt anyone if it's not the solution, but it will save a life if it is. So we heard that from Dr. Lisa. It's definitely going in add to cart and I think I'll just make sure she has a lot of it. That's a good point. Like it's not going to hurt you, but it could save your life.

[Penn Holderness]

We've got one from an OBGYN named Kristen. It says I've been very frank with my boys about sex and everything that comes with responsible sex. A box of condoms is required on the pack list. A lot of kids have never had freedom like this in the first few months of college. And some campuses have a serious hookup culture. Amen. Like condoms just and again, suspenders and belt.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. And like what Dr. Lisa said, that's so true. There's so many other options for birth control and. But that's not IUDs, pills. There's an arm.

[Penn Holderness]

None of those things keep you from getting herpes, right? Yeah.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Joanna says if you're having sex, get STD tested once a year, even if you don't have symptoms. If you get an std, use the anonymous STD text app to inform anyone you've been with if you're not comfortable telling them yourself. So there's an app where you can tell people, like, hey, you were with somebody and they had.

[Penn Holderness]

It doesn't tell you which person.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

It doesn't tell you which person. Which I did. I. Obviously, we're not in this world where we're doing this.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah. So, okay, so you're walking around and you get a text from stdapp.com saying, hey, someone that you were with has gonorrhea.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Is that. Do people still get gonorrhea? I don't even know. I. I guess. Right.

[Penn Holderness]

Why are you asking, Sam? Okay, Alicia. Right. When it comes to drinking, pace yourself. Drink and then have water. Want another drink? Okay, then have water. Eat before you go out. Oh, I'm not hungry. I'll have something later. I don't have time. Is a recipe for disaster. Eat before you go to the parties. I do something called zebra striping.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Okay. Tell us.

[Penn Holderness]

When I go out, I'll like. If I like, you might see me at, like, on a really big night. I'll have four beers. Two of those will be non alcoholic.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

I'll do one beer, then a non alcoholic, then a beer, then a non alcoholic, which is basically water.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Right.

[Penn Holderness]

So that's like, another example of it. But, yeah, water is huge.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

And hugely important. And people forget to drink it when they're.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

And as a parent, this is why we called this section get over yourself, because I don't want to teach my daughter how to drink.

[Penn Holderness]

To that point, I think maybe we'll end this segment with a reminder that what we did was way worse.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Hi, Kim. Hi, Penn. My name is Tracy. I'm calling from Northwest Ohio. And I wanted to tell you, you took me down memory lane when you.

[Kim Holderness]

Talked about the Borg at the end.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Of the show when you started talking about the lined trash cans when you were in college.

[Kim Holderness]

Kim, can I just tell you, prior to that, we did not line the trash cans.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I'm not even sure they were brand new. And we made something called Hairy Buffalo. And in Hairy Buffalo, you sliced up.

[Kim Holderness]

All sorts of fruits, put them in the bottom of the trash can, then.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

You covered them with Everclear for a.

[Kim Holderness]

Duration of time, say 24 to 48 hours. And then you filled the rest of the trash can up with Hawaiian Punch.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

And Sprite or 7up.

[Kim Holderness]

Trust me when I say the fruit salad was way more dangerous than the drinks. So thanks for the trip down memory lane and thank you for your podcast.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Really enjoy it every week. Okay, first of all, what got my stomach to kind of churn was she wasn't even sure if it was a new trash can, right?

[Penn Holderness]

How about this? Not only that they let it sit for 24 hours. It's just a trash can in the middle of a frat house. What do you think people are going to be throwing at it for the next 24 hours?

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

So keep this in perspective as we're talking to our kids about adding water in between their drinks. You know, again, we have so many messages about covering your drinks, only taking a drink that's, you know, been handed to you that was closed. But yeah, so we used to drink out of garbage can. So just, like, let that sit in.

[Penn Holderness]

Should we move on to the life advice? Kim, you did a great job organizing these, by the way. I want to, like, give you, like.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

A little golf cart. Thank you. As Dr. Lisa said, not knowing how to do laundry, it's fine. We all learn. But let's. Let's go back to the laugh line. And this might seem like an obvious piece of advice for kids that you.

[Kim Holderness]

Are sending to college, but if you.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Are sending kids to college whose laundry you have always done, you might want to remind them not to put clothes away wet. My son thought that just because the dryer buzzed meant that the clothes were done, and that meant he could put them back in his drawers, only to figure out that that's how you get moldy, smelly clothes. I feel like my heart just like I can see this happening to my son. I can see him saying, well, mom, it buzzed. And our dryer does that. It doesn't dry it all the way unless you have it on a certain setting. I've never had a dryer that finished it in one setting.

[Penn Holderness]

I love this one. Learn the names of campus, janitorial and dining hall staff and call them by name when, think when thanking them for all they do. And say those thank yous often. I bet that also makes your kids feel good. Not just like, not only the people who are working there. I bet it makes your kids feel good that they're making a connection.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I think in general, life skills. Your dad was big on that.

[Penn Holderness]

He was awesome.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. Anytime we were anywhere, he'd go back thank people. At our wedding, the toast was the first thing we did was like applaud the people who were serving the meals. Yeah. I think that's so important. Dazlin wrote, I love that I was given the mind blowing tip when I was well into my 20s. Especially pertinent to girls. If you don't like the vibe of where you're at, you can just leave. It's not rude. You don't have to stay. You don't need to be polite. This is what I told Lola yesterday. This was the one piece of advice I gave her yesterday.

[Penn Holderness]

This was yesterday's.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. She's like, I got it. And then I started to tell her something more. She's like, I don't like the vibe. I'm leaving.

[Penn Holderness]

Well done, Lola.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I know.

[Penn Holderness]

That's good. Okay. What about Laura Powers? You can always change your mind, change your major, change your friends, environment, etc. This will be one of the few periods of your life that you get to make decisions solely for yourself. I've always believed this. College is where you can construct your own world. And it's the best part about it. Put yourself, your happiness, your success first, and you'll lead yourself to your most beautiful and authentic life.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I love that.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah. She also says, repeat the song. Don't be polite to men who creep you out. Trust your gut. Do not walk alone at night.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Repeat the song. Don't be polite to men who creep you out.

[Penn Holderness]

Don't be polite to me and creep you out.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. If there's not a song, there needs to be one pen.

[Penn Holderness]

Don't be polite. 2. Men who creep you out. Trust your gut. Don't walk alone at night. It's a. It's Britney Spears.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Do it again. Do it again. It's a bop.

[Penn Holderness]

Don't be polite. Wrong. To men who creep you out. Trust your gut. Don't walk alone at night. I feel I am stronger than yesterday. That's. That's what that was.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. I love that. I feel like that's about. We should make that into a video. Yeah. Don't be polite to men who creep you out. Done. This one was great.

[Penn Holderness]

Yes.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Okay. A Wright wrote. Get her a fracket, AKA a frat jacket.

[Penn Holderness]

Great. Port Monte.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

A cheap zip up hoodie that she won't care about if she leaves at a party or gets snagged in a bush on a drunken walk back home.

[Penn Holderness]

That's fine. Just not. Hey, if you're gonna get snagged in a drunken bush and a walk back home, make sure you're wearing a fracket.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Also frat shoes, old gross sneakers that will become older and grosser from growing to frat parties. This is a really good one. Have the numbers for campus police or any on campus number for mental health slash crisis programming into the student's phone. She may not need it, but she might be able to help someone who does. Amen. Yeah, I have to say, I went to my senior year. I was having a rough time. I went to therapy on campus. Therapy. It was really good. It was really good. She, like, she gave me advice that I still kind of roll around in my head.

[Penn Holderness]

Tell the. Tell people who are listening. Like, was it tough making that step to walk into that building?

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

It was because. No, I was. I think it was more stigmatized then.

[Penn Holderness]

Right.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Maybe I, I was the only person I knew that was going to therapy. I was sort of embarrassed to sign in, but I did it and I went, I went. That's when my parents were getting a divorce. But again, very like I am right now. I'm like, it's fine. No, they're going to be happy. They're going to be like, I'm like, no, that's fine. That's. There's nothing wrong with me. But I was created problems, different problems in my life and she gave me great advice. I really, it was super good and it was free. So. 10 out of 10. One of the very first emails we got when we made this call was from Adrian Trier by bck. She's a professor in Florida and we will put a lot of this in the blog post. I'm going to give you highlights. Number one, read the syllabus and do what it says. We spend a crazy amount of time preparing these and it's beyond frustrating when students obviously don't read them and do the opposite of what the course guidelines are. I asked Lola, I'm like, do your. Do your high school teachers, did they give you a syllabus and.

[Penn Holderness]

No, no, they don't. They don't. I don't think syllabi show up until.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Right. So she didn't know what that was. So that was good. A good nugget to hear. She's also saying, go to office hours. That is her. You know, high schools now have the office hours. But she's saying, introduce yourself, talk about what interests you, look up the professor's resume, who's teaching you and ask them questions about their work.

[Penn Holderness]

So this is A teacher saying, butter up the teacher. Yeah, yeah, okay.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Or just get curious and. And about their work. And I think. And she also says she loves the opportunity to get to know her students better. So I. I think never gonna hurt. I don't think a professor or a teacher goes into this business not caring about students, so it makes sense that, you know, use those office hours. I love this. Take at least one class in something you don't know about. I didn't do any of that. No, that's not true. I took a golf class.

[Penn Holderness]

I think I exclusively took classes and stuff. I didn't know. I feel like everything was like, I have no idea what this is.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

You're right.

[Penn Holderness]

That sounds good.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

The next one, you don't have to be the loudest in the class. Thoughtful comments are always appreciated. And if you're quiet, please consider that your superpower. Find at least one area to contribute to a discussion, but know that we can tell the difference between somebody participating just to talk and someone thinking through a response. And this last one, it sounds trite, but you're here to get an education. Go to events that are new. Read books, try out for student groups. Learn from people whom you would never have interacted with outside of school. Employers still care a bit about people who can think their way through a problem and who are genuinely curious. I think that's great advice. Like, you're there. We're doing a lot of, you know, don't get too drunk at parties, but when it comes down to it, you're there to learn, so get curious.

[Penn Holderness]

It is time for a hashtag, not sponsored. One of our favorite segments where we talk about a product that we love and we are being paid in absolutely no way for it, unless you want to and you feel like maybe this would be a good brand deal. But for now, it's just stuff that we really like. Unless you really want to come and call our agent, see what they're thinking about, give us a little bit of money. Anyway, so here's Kim with not sponsored.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Would it be funny if a brand said, you know what? It'll be not sponsored. Sponsored by.

[Penn Holderness]

Investors. What you got, Kim?

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Okay. This was recommended by so many people, and it's a packing bag. If you're watching on YouTube, you can see it, but I'm gonna do my best to describe it for those listening.

[Penn Holderness]

A packing bag.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Okay, so when you're moving in, and I have to say, I bought six of these off of Amazon, and I have used these already.

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, good.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

So it's basically it's a bag. Well, okay, let me describe it. It is the material of, like, an IKEA shopping bag. So it's a heavy duty plastic, but it is a big rectangle thing with a zip. And it zips. Yep. Right.

[Penn Holderness]

Looks kind of like a miniature body bag.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

It looks like a miniature body bag, and it has handles.

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, okay.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

This one actually has a place where you can label on the side, and I've lost the label thing, but it was recommended. It is just instead of boxes, because boxes aren't like, stacking them is kind of hard, and these can provide more space.

[Penn Holderness]

So is this heavy duty enough to hold stuff that boxes hold?

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yes.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

So. And you. Has handles. So I've been. You know, we went on a beach trip. I. I packed two of these just because, you know, it's like, the stuff is just not. You know, it doesn't pack in a suitcase.

[Penn Holderness]

Right.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

So all those things.

[Penn Holderness]

It's a duffel bag.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Oh, yeah. It's like a plastic duffel bag.

[Penn Holderness]

It's a duffel bag made of something different.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

But it was told to me buy them now because apparently they sell out. But I find that hard to believe. Like, the world would sell out of these.

[Penn Holderness]

Well, if it's. If it's as strong as it looks, because it's got, like, a burlapy, like, with the shiny burlap look to it. And I'm guessing it's cheaper than buying a duffel bag.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. Okay. Six pack for 29.99. Yes.

[Penn Holderness]

So we're looking at wonderful. We're looking at five bucks a bag.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Right. And I will say they are very reusable. I've used them a lot. And for college, Move in. For college. Move in. Yes. But just for general life, bro.

[Penn Holderness]

I'm gonna start just taking this, like, if I want to go to the, like, the beach. And can you put this on an airplane? No. You have to check it, right?

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

You'd have to check. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Anyway. But people said. Because there's a lot of people who have to fly to move in.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

That they. They just pack these and you can check them.

[Penn Holderness]

Okay. So before we go, I have on this list of things to do for the show, and I'm terrified. Play Dukes of Hazzard. Voicemail.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I love watching laugh lines. Y' all are my favorite youtubers. I have a question. What was your first car, and what was the craziest clean thing you did with it? Mine was a little blue geometro that I used to commute to college, and I used to jump over the railroad tracks in my neighborhood, Dukes of hazzard style, at 40 plus miles an hour on a near daily basis. One day when I was on the interstate driving to class, the engine literally fell out of my baby. Damn, I missed that car so, so much. Okay, thanks y' all. Bye. They don't make the Geo Metro anymore.

[Penn Holderness]

They don't make most cars anymore, but yeah.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Okay. What was your first car?

[Penn Holderness]

A Mazda 323.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Okay.

[Penn Holderness]

Manual. That's how I know how to drive a stick shift. Because my first car was a stick. My dad was like, you gotta learn how to drive a stick. For I. There was a road on the way to downtown Durham where the, the road next to it got paved in like a circle, but it got paved a little too high. So if you stayed on the left side of the road, you could get air if you went fast enough. So I would jump it like a ramp over. Over those things.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

And then what happened?

[Penn Holderness]

I would land on the other side. I know. Like, never any. Any bad badness with that. It was lovely in my car. I think the Mazda 323 weighed about 7 pounds. So you didn't have to go very fast to get air.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. I think there was very little talk about, like, safety. Like when we were, when we were buying Lola's car. I was looking for like side impact airbags and all these things. We just didn't.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah. Well, also, I mean, look, when you get your first car, that is your first taste of real freedom. And so you're going to do some stupid crap.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I had a 1989 Pontiac Grand Dam.

[Penn Holderness]

Did you?

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yes. So when I got it, it was five years old, which was pretty good.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. So it was five or six years old.

[Penn Holderness]

Those things had some giddy up.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Not this one, it didn't. It. It had the motor of a golf cart. So it didn't go very fast.

[Penn Holderness]

I must be thinking of the. A different car. I thought a Grand Am could maybe.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Maybe it could. But maybe this particular car. So it didn't go particularly, particularly fast. I will say it broke down a lot. And that was before cell phones. And I walked along a dark highway several times. I know. So I didn't do anything bad in it, but I had a Pontiac Grand Am.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I will say that. I. You know what I did? I packed like 97 girls from dance class in it. To go get Slurpees.

[Penn Holderness]

Yes.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

So we did not obey maximum occupancy rules.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. So I was, I was stupid like that. Yeah. But Sam Want to know what my first car was?

[Penn Holderness]

Yes, I was about to.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

It was a two door Toyota Yaris hatchback.

[Penn Holderness]

I remember the Yaris.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. I had it for 10 years. It lasted me a long time. My dad bought it for me because.

[Kim Holderness]

He didn't want me to have any.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Boys in the back seat. Joke's on you, papa. It was worked. It worked. It super worked. No men have been in that back seat.

[Penn Holderness]

I think I could have, like, sat in the back seat of the Yaris and driven the car. And driven the car like it was so small.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Do they make the Yaris still?

[Penn Holderness]

No.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Yeah. I have no idea. Yeah, I don't think so, but it. Yeah, that's funny.

[Penn Holderness]

Oh, it's a good way to end.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

It's a good way to end.

[Kim Holderness]

Yeah.

[Penn Holderness]

Thank you so much for joining us on Laugh Lines. As you know, I can't finish the credits without messing up. We've tried seven or eight times and I keep failing miserably. So we've brought Dr. Lisa D' Amore back in because, number one, she has the most buttery, soft, amazing voice of all time that gives me ASMR every time I hear it. And number two, I feel like she could do this without messing up. So no pressure, but Dr. Lisa, take us home.

[Kim Holderness]

Okay. That's a lot of pressure. All right, here we go. Laugh Lines is written and produced by by Kim Holderness, Penn Holderness and Ann Marie Tapke with original music by Pen Holderness. It is filmed, edited and live produced by Sam Allen and hosted by acast. As always, we love to hear from you. Please write to us at podcastheholdernessfamily.com or leave a voicemail at 323-364-3929 and we will talk to you soon, soon on the Laugh Line.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

I think that's going to be it for the rest. Yeah. Just for some reason, at every podcast, you'd be like, and now Dr. Lisa DeMora reads our credits.

[Penn Holderness]

Yeah.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

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[Kim Holderness]

Hi guys, it's Hannah from Giggly Squad. With summer around the corner, I wanted to tell you guys how I'm staying comfy and stylish. Lululemon is my secret weapon. There are plenty of copycats out there, but nothing compares to the Lululemon fabrics and fit. Literally had my pair of Lululemon leggings since college and I'm out of college. I know I don't look it, but I am. The quality is next level. I especially love the Lululemon Align collection. It's made with this weightless, buttery, soft nulu fabric that feels like next to nothing. It's so soft. Whether you're in Align pants, shorts, a bra, tank, skirt, a dress, you get non stop flexibility in every direction so you can stretch the summer limits. Align even wicks sweat and as a sweaty girl, I love this. You know it's going to be my best friend when I play tennis this summer. Shop the Align collection [e-mail] or your nearest Lululemon store.

[Dr. Lisa D'Amour]

Summer is here, but if you grind your teeth at night, the damage doesn't Take a vacation. Protect your smile with Remy, the custom night guard that cost up to 80% less than the dentist. Just take your impressions at home with their step by step kit. Send it back and get your dental grade night guard delivered to your door. No waiting rooms, no surprise bills, just sunny savings and professional protection backed by a 45 night perfect fit guarantee. Go to shopremy.com and use code summer to get up to 50% off. That's shopremi.com and use code summer for 50% off.