Laugh Lines with Kim & Penn Holderness

Episode: Surprise... Kim Has ADHD (Part 1)

Release Date: March 3, 2026

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and revealing episode of Laugh Lines, Kim and Penn Holderness share some major personal news: Kim has been recently diagnosed with ADHD at age 49, after years of identifying as a non-ADHDer—even while parenting, partnering, and writing about ADHD with Penn and for their children’s books. They discuss the emotional journey, the denial and stigma especially for adult women, and the overlap of ADHD with anxiety and perimenopause. The episode features honest conversation, humor, and listener messages from others on similar paths. This is Part 1 of a two-part series, with next week’s episode promising an expert guest to dive deeper on ADHD and emotions.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Kim's ADHD Diagnosis Journey

Timestamp: 04:49 – 08:08

• Kim shares that, after years of therapy and recurring diagnoses of anxiety and OCD, a recent therapist suggested ADHD.
• The diagnostic process was thorough: multiple rounds of screening, interviews about childhood behaviors, and discussions with people who knew her as a child.
• Kim’s sons and husband, Penn, immediately welcomed her to the “ADHD club” in a supportive and humorous way.
• Kim struggled to accept the diagnosis due to:
  • Feeling like a fraud, as she’d written and spoken about ADHD as a supporter, not a “member.”
  • Worrying she might dilute the urgency for those “who really, really need resources and accommodations.”
  • Overlapping symptoms with perimenopause.

Notable Quote:
"I feel like a fraud because I've written... I've told people, 'Hi, I'm Kim. I do not have ADHD. Here's how I attack life as somebody who does not have ADHD.'" — Kim Holderness (06:40)

Women, Denial, and Late Diagnosis of ADHD

Timestamp: 08:27 – 09:57

• Penn reframes Kim’s worries as “classic denials that women have,” pointing out that ADHD is underdiagnosed in women precisely because of such doubts and societal expectations.
• He reassures Kim she’s not a fraud and that her story will resonate with millions of women.

Notable Quote:
"These are classic denials that women have. This is why women aren't diagnosed with ADHD as much as men. And you saying this is so bleeping important." — Penn Holderness (08:29)

Looking Back: Childhood Markers & Overlapping Diagnoses

Timestamp: 10:41 – 14:23

• The duo discusses how ADHD must be present from childhood.
• Kim recalls:
  • Needing to re-read pages several times.
  • Feeling slow-to-process, disorganized, and “a huge slob” as a child.
  • High achievement and perfectionism masking underlying ADHD struggles.
  • Emotional flooding, frequent unexplained crying at school.

Notable Quote:
"I was always feeling a little imposter syndrome. I would get good grades, but it was always very, very hard for me to retain and process the information." — Kim Holderness (11:24)

ADHD, Anxiety, Perfectionism, and Emotional Health

Timestamp: 15:08 – 29:05

• Kim discusses the frequent confusion between anxiety/OCD and ADHD, especially in women.
• Describes developing an identity as “the responsible one” as an overcompensation for ADHD-related forgetfulness/sensory overload.
• Kim outlines the differences between:
  • ADHD perfectionism: won’t start unless she can excel, out of fear of emotional fallout from failure.
  • OCD perfectionism: repetitive, ritualistic, fear-driven need for precision.
• Emotional regulation, rejection sensitivity, and “emotional flooding” are key ADHD symptoms for Kim.

Notable Quotes:
"I've developed an entire personality about being the responsible one… I am, like, in my brain, 'don't forget, don't forget, don't forget'..." — Kim Holderness (16:16)
"If I'm bad at something, it causes me physical pain, rejection, sensitive dysphoria." — Kim Holderness (25:50)

Real-Life Red Flags and Coping Strategies

Timestamp: 29:43 – 31:35

• Kim offers examples where her ADHD manifested:
  • Booking plane tickets to the wrong destination.
  • Extreme aversion to paperwork and contracts (Penn handles them).
  • Overpreparing for events.
  • Failure to start activities out of fear of not excelling.
• Penn and Kim describe their complementary coping strategies as a couple and business partners.

Notable Quote:
"Filling out paperwork causes me actual pain, even signing a contract. So Penn does it all for me." — Kim Holderness (29:51)

ADHD in Women: The Research and Perimenopause Overlap

Timestamp: 31:35 – 33:37

• Kim and Penn discuss how ADHD research for women is lagging, and how perimenopause symptoms overlap with and intensify ADHD (e.g. “gas on the fire”).
• Kim notes she’s likely coped/masked for decades, with hormonal changes making symptoms “very exposed.”

Notable Quote:
"If you look at symptoms of perimenopause, it's like the Venn diagram is a circle." — Kim Holderness (31:35)

Embracing the Diagnosis and Moving Forward

Timestamp: 33:37 – 37:13

• Penn enumerates qualities that should’ve tipped them off:
  • Kim's tendency to try new hobbies.
  • Hyperfocus when interested.
  • High capacity for forgiveness after emotional flooding.
  • Exceptional creativity and idea generation.
  • Everyone else in the house has ADHD.
• They discuss “time blindness”—Kim is never late, but always early due to inability to gauge time.

Notable Quotes:
"You have this adorable hobby of trying new hobbies... Like, you love things that are new and exciting." — Penn Holderness (34:00)
"Another thing I have always struggled with is, there's this thing called time blindness." — Kim Holderness (38:06)

Listener Messages

Timestamp: 45:03 – 53:50

• Listeners (Angela, Amy, Mindy, Mary) share their own adult ADHD diagnosis stories, challenges with imposter syndrome, and masking behaviors—many echo Kim’s experience.
• Angela asks if she should disclose ADHD during job interviews; Penn advises yes, but with an emphasis on strengths.
• Many listeners talk about the relief and paradigm shift brought by finally understanding their own brains.

Notable Listener Quote:
"I was first diagnosed with ADHD when I was 45…. My brain sounds like a pachinko machine. So many questions." — Angela (45:10)

Notable Kim Insight:
"There were so many times I felt broken and deficient, and I was like an imposter. Desperately trying to maintain my identity as a smart, talented person. Now I could see that it was just my adhd." — Kim reading Amy’s email (48:29)

Looking Ahead

Timestamp: 38:50, 40:13, 41:28, 53:22

• Next week, Dr. Tamara Rosier will join to address the emotional side of ADHD and the complexities of late diagnosis and masking in women.

Notable Closing Quotes:
"Knowledge... is like the first piece of scaffolding... it gives you a chance to not look in the mirror and say, 'what is wrong with you?' but, 'oh, okay, this is what it is.'” — Penn Holderness (12:49)
"If somebody is going to be diagnosed with ADHD, you need to have them call Penn Holderness because he is going to hype you up." — Kim Holderness (41:04)

Memorable/Notable Quotes

• “We can't both have this.” – Kim Holderness (03:37, 24:20)
• “Yes, we can.” – Penn Holderness (03:42, 24:21)
• “I was always feeling a little imposter syndrome.” – Kim Holderness (11:24)
• “You're incredibly brave… You're doing all these things with ADHD, not in spite of ADHD.” – Penn Holderness (33:10)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Kim’s Diagnosis Story: 04:49 – 08:08
• Denial & Stigma in Women: 08:27 – 09:57
• Childhood Markers: 10:41 – 14:23
• Anxiety vs. ADHD Symptoms: 15:08 – 29:05
• Real-life ADHD “Red Flags”: 29:43 – 31:35
• ADHD Research & Perimenopause: 31:35 – 33:37
• Positive ADHD Traits & Coping: 33:37 – 37:13
• Time Blindness & Masking: 38:06 – 39:50
• Listener Messages: 45:03 – 53:50
• Next Episode Preview: 38:50, 40:13, 41:28

Overall Tone

Warm, humorous, candid, and empathetic. The conversation is open about struggle, but consistently hopeful and positive—celebrating the diverse strengths of ADHD while acknowledging its real-world complications, especially for women.

Useful for:

• Anyone considering or experiencing a late ADHD diagnosis, especially women.
• Listeners interested in the overlap between ADHD, anxiety, perfectionism, and perimenopause.
• Partners, friends, or parents looking to understand loved ones with ADHD.
• Fans of the Holderness Family seeking more behind-the-scenes insight.

Next Episode Teaser:
Part 2 will feature Dr. Tamara Rosier discussing time distortion, emotional regulation, and practical strategies for thriving with ADHD—especially for women.

Contact/Feedback:

• Leave a voicemail at 323-364-3929
• Email: podcast@theholdernessfamily.com