
Nothing like cleaning to Chuck Mangione...
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Ben Holderness
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Kim Holderness
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Ben Holderness
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Kim Holderness
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Ben Holderness
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Kim Holderness
So I walked up to another airlines counter and I was like, get me there.
Ben Holderness
Every time we do this, you're like, I just need to put a couple of things in there.
Kim Holderness
I, Kim Holderness, do solemnly swear. Do solemnly swear.
Ben Holderness
Do not put any of my crap in your carry on bag.
Kim Holderness
Do not put any of my crap
Ben Holderness
in your carrying on book a massage if you can. It's great for you. But if you think you might. Your pants don't go. Yeah, we get older every day. Got more wrinkles.
Kim Holderness
That's okay.
Ben Holderness
Yeah, we're laughing. When we age, life is like a comedy stage. And that's why we got laugh lines.
Kim Holderness
Hi friends, I'm Kim Holderness.
Ben Holderness
And I'm Ben Holderness. And welcome to Laugh Lines Lifelines. Sorry. Here, let's go. Just a little bit more salty. And I'm Penn Olenus. Welcome to Lifelines.
Caller or Guest (Summer or Kristen)
Better.
Kim Holderness
Yes. If you go on vacation and proudly do not get a tan because you're sitting under an umbrella wearing a long sleeve, one piece bathing suit. Covered yourself in zinc sunscreen. You're home. I actually have a picture of myself. We recently went on vacation. I was under the umbrella with a hat, mineral sunscreen, and a long sleeve, one piece bathing suit.
Ben Holderness
And somehow we're both still peeling. I know. Like, it's just impossible. The sun always wins.
Kim Holderness
The sun Always wins. But listen, I pay too much money in Botox to really mess with this,
Ben Holderness
so I mess up Botox.
Kim Holderness
Well, you're, You're. It's. It's sun damage and that, like what it does to your skin. And then I. If I'm going to pay money to have tox it up, tox it up
Ben Holderness
to put botulism botch piece in your
Kim Holderness
forehead, I don't want it to, like, you know, I want to give it a fighting chance.
Ben Holderness
I gotcha.
Kim Holderness
Yeah. Yeah.
Ben Holderness
Well, yeah, I looked like a. I look like a white walker for most of the trip that we're going to talk about right now.
Kim Holderness
So, yeah, we have a fun show, I hope, for you today, some learnings from said vacay and yeah, yeah, we're just gonna have some fun today.
Ben Holderness
We don't normally talk our vacations, but this one was unique, I think, in a lot of ways. And I feel like we learned, like, a little bit more about ourselves and also just about vacations in general. After truly unplugging for a week, this
Kim Holderness
was my 50th birthday present. I didn't want a big party. I just wanted a trip. You and I, we get to the airport to depart for said vacation, and 15 minutes before we're just aboard our first flight, the airline cancels.
Guest or Narrator (Leon Neyfak)
They sure did.
Kim Holderness
They sure did.
Ben Holderness
Yeah.
Kim Holderness
And they're like, don't worry, we can get you there tomorrow. And if you read the, like, the kind of bill of rights, they are not responsible for paying for any money you would lose on that trip. And so we were losing a lot
Ben Holderness
of money every day.
Kim Holderness
That would be. Yeah, I mean, it's my 50th birthday and we'd saved our money. So I walked up to another airlines counter and I was like, get me there. But we knew that we would not have luggage. Like, there was like a zero percent chance our luggage would make. Make it. So, yeah, so we. We did not have luggage for the first several days of the trip.
Ben Holderness
Third day. Third day we got some luggage, which is. Okay, great segue, because what we're going to talk about today are our vacation realizations. That rhymes. So I feel like there should be a big, like a moving graphic for that one. Vacation realizations. And then like a sound effect. So vacation realization number one for us. While we're talking about packing things, people
Kim Holderness
who pack Carry on only are in a cult because I put on Instagram stories like, this is not a real
Ben Holderness
problem, but our checked bags got lost.
Kim Holderness
Our checked bags got lost on the way down for three days I put in. I just was posting a funny thing because Penn had to wear, like, the bedroom slippers they gave you at the hotel. He had to wear those around the resort because they obviously don't have a size 13.
Ben Holderness
Yeah, they got kind of dirty. But you know what they're gonna do.
Kim Holderness
I was very quick to say, these are not real problems. Just ha, ha, funny, funny. The amount of messages I got from people who big Carry on, the Big Carry on cult. These people are very proud that they only exclusively pack in carry ons. And they've got.
Ben Holderness
They've got their little shrink bag. They've got their little. And they've. And they look upon those who check their bags with a bit of disdain. Sometimes.
Kim Holderness
It was. I. Well, first of all, I have to join the cult because I'll never check a bag again because also, they lost my bag on the way back.
Ben Holderness
We had our bags for a very small percentage of the trip.
Kim Holderness
Well, and so we learned that actually, you know, we didn't need as much stuff as we packed. So lessons learned. Check. You know how people, like, if you know somebody who does CrossFit, you know
Ben Holderness
how, you know, they'll tell you.
Kim Holderness
They'll tell you. And so you know how people carry on only. They'll tell you that these people are so proud that they only packed in a. Oh, here comes.
Ben Holderness
Like you asked.
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
Carry on only, baby.
Ben Holderness
All right, so listen. Good, Good. Sam's carry on only because I want to bring her in on this because I'm fine joining the cult and being that person at a party who's like, oh, yeah, Hawaii was great. Of course we checked Carry on because. Or didn't check. We didn't carry on because we have a system that we use. It's like, we're gonna be those people. We're joining the cult. I need to make. We've got some ground rules on this. Are you ready? There will be no shopping because shopping adds.
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
Ben Holderness
Heft to adds heft. So if there's carry on, we have to. Because vacation shopping has to be none of that. Rule number two, and this is a big one. If you just need a little extra space to throw. Like, can I just throw a couple things? A couple things in your bag, honey? Like, I. If I'm doing this with you, like, I'll be. I'm twice your size already. And so every time we do this, you're like, I just need to put a couple of things in there. And it's like, it's. It's a travel. She Puts like her makeup bag, which is the size of an entire suitcase in my suitcase. I'm like, I don't have any room.
Caller or Listener (Adam)
You're fine.
Kim Holderness
You're right.
Ben Holderness
So this has to be. We have to. This is my dance space. This is your dance space. Are you in front of God and these witnesses willing to commit to this? Because I think we could make it work.
Kim Holderness
Are we taking our vows?
Ben Holderness
Yes, we are. I'm gonna just because, like, you know, people can wear sneakers everywhere. I'm just gonna bring one pair of sneakers and we'll be able to pull this.
Kim Holderness
I vouch you on this.
Ben Holderness
State your name. Yeah.
Kim Holderness
I, Kim Holderness.
Ben Holderness
Do solemnly swear.
Kim Holderness
Do solemnly swear.
Ben Holderness
Do not put any of my crap in your carry on bag. For better or worse.
Kim Holderness
For better words.
Ben Holderness
In sickness and in health.
Kim Holderness
Sickness and in health.
Ben Holderness
In medicine kit and in shoes. Go ahead. As long as we both shall live.
Kim Holderness
As long as we both shall travel.
Ben Holderness
We're now married. Yeah.
Kim Holderness
So can I admit something, Ben? So first of all, we went on.
Ben Holderness
Are you already breaking our vows?
Kim Holderness
No, no, no. Yeah, I was. So we got back Saturday evening before Mother's Day. They lost our bag. My bag. They couldn't find. It was the drama. So I stayed at the Delta Airlines luggage counter until 2am after we landed. Cause I was like, we need. And it was like this cute little Gen Z girl who came out of nowhere and was like, clickety clack, she found my bag. At that moment, I'm like, I can't do this because this has wasted hours and hours of our trip on the phone because we switched airlines. And then whose fault is it like it. So we. We wasted so much time. So we did spend. We saved money for this trip, but then we had to spend a lot of money for this. So this trip was not like it was a honeymoon level type trip. So Penn and I are not going to spend money. Like we can't spend money this. We're like, we're not spending money this summer. But I did go on Dolly Parton's Internet and I searched out like the biggest care like personal item backpack. So that is coming.
Ben Holderness
Is that the thing that's in our.
Kim Holderness
No, that's a different carry on bag.
Ben Holderness
Oh, so there's another bag that you.
Kim Holderness
Yeah, I just feel like if I'm going to commit to the carry on life, I need to have my carry on tools. So I did buy bigger carry on
Ben Holderness
allotted and they're still going to be. They are allowed to care because they now. The TSA now has like a Dude who's, like, checking when you're walking through
Kim Holderness
the line, like, yeah.
Ben Holderness
Did you compress that thing? Because if not.
Kim Holderness
Yeah, no.
Caller or Guest (Summer or Kristen)
No.
Kim Holderness
I'm gonna. I'm gonna have to send you. But I'm spending money to save money on our layover. We did layover in Charlotte, and I knew my bag wasn't gonna make it, so I went to the Spanx store in Charlotte to buy underwear for myself. I just knew I'm like, all I need is, like, underwear. I'll buy a bathing suit when I get there. They did not. In the Charlotte airport that I saw where the terminal we. Where we were, they had no men's underwear. So I was like, okay, boo.
Ben Holderness
And then I bought it, and I bought a bathing suit and just walked around with that for three days. Same day. Everyone's like, oh, yeah, I know.
Kim Holderness
There's Pen.
Ben Holderness
There's the guy in the blue bathing suit.
Kim Holderness
Yeah. So we are. We're carrying.
Ben Holderness
So I've got some other, like, vacation realizations. Would you like to hear some of them?
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
Ben Holderness
Okay. There's two types of vacations.
Kim Holderness
Okay.
Ben Holderness
There's the one that we normally take, which is full of new adventures and finding new things and, like, going for big hikes, working out, getting a lot of exercise, like, really kind of seizing the day and making the most out of whatever situation that you're in. Then there's the vacation where you try to set a new record for the fewest steps on your Apple watch in one day.
Kim Holderness
Yeah, that's what we did.
Ben Holderness
We've never done that before.
Kim Holderness
Never.
Ben Holderness
Right. And for that reason, sometimes we would get back from our vacation and be like, huh. Well, that. That felt a little bit like most of the other things that we do, but, like, the true unplugging and, like, we are not gonna do much. How did you like that, and how did you respond to that?
Kim Holderness
I. It was hard for me.
Ben Holderness
That's not normally something that you want to do.
Kim Holderness
And we had a lot of discussion about this because there wasn't much, like, on purpose. There wasn't much to do. So, like, it. There wasn't a hike to take. There wasn't, like, you could sit there, you could swim, and then you can sit there again. So there's just. What? There weren't a lot of options. There was a gym, but that's just sad. Like, I'm just not gonna go to a gym.
Ben Holderness
It was a nice gym, I would think.
Kim Holderness
Yeah. I was like, this is depressing me.
Ben Holderness
Yeah.
Kim Holderness
So I feel like it is programmed in and I don't know if this is a generational thing, and this is a very personal thing. I have trouble resting, and I felt very guilty resting.
Ben Holderness
Yeah, let's unpack that. Because you've talked about this before, like, the guilt part of it.
Kim Holderness
And I had to really. Like, we spent so much time talking about this. Like, why do I feel like I have to be productive on a trip that's meant to celebrate, you know, 50 years. Yeah. Of my life and the accomplishments and all of, like, just celebrate getting to 50.
Ben Holderness
And all the work that you've done, too. Like, that's. That's a big part of it, too, because we work most days, period, even weekends, doing something.
Kim Holderness
Doing something. But I struggled with it. But it was funny. By the time the day we were set to leave, then I was like, I'm ready to. I'm just ready to stay and unplug now, sir, please. I was. Yeah, I was like, passing me a Greyhound on the way out.
Ben Holderness
So I have less trouble than you doing this. But I think just because of our lives, I've done less of this. So just that real. Kind of like, just be a vegetable and let time slow down and let yourself be bored. I think all those things were really good for my brain and body, like, just being able to do that. Like, we would sit and not talk. It was great for incredible stretches of time, which is generally not my comfort zone.
Kim Holderness
Yeah. On the way down, he's like, babe, I've been practicing not talking. How do you do that?
Ben Holderness
I did. I have been.
Kim Holderness
He's like, I've been practicing not talking.
Ben Holderness
Yeah.
Kim Holderness
Yeah. You did such a good job not talking. No, there was even. He came out. He's like, a lot of energy in the morning. And I was just sitting in my chair because that's all you could do. And I was like, babe, you're at, like, a seven. I'm gonna need you at a three. Just, like, bring it down. Just.
Ben Holderness
It was your week.
Kim Holderness
It was my week.
Ben Holderness
Now I'm back to being loud. Okay, here's a realization about a vacation. Book a massage if you can. It's great for you, but if you think you might. Your pants don't go. So we both had a spa appointment, so I'm like, filling out the parts of my body. I was like, hey, do you guys have a bathroom? And they were like, sure, yeah, we have. It's right over there. Like, I'm like, yeah. So it's probably a good idea to just make sure that. That everything is. You know, because you get really relaxed when you have a massage, right? And so. And so I went in. Wait, do you want to read?
Kim Holderness
I got to. I had my little treatment. I went back. I'm like, I just have to take a nap now. That was amazing. And he texted me. So, like, five O's. I'm in the bathroom over here. Just got hit with some digestive distress. Lol. I may skip this and head home. So you didn't go?
Ben Holderness
I did. And I was. Because everyone is very, like, calm and polite there. And so I walked in.
Kim Holderness
I'm like, hey, hey, I'm Asha.
Ben Holderness
I tried to match their energy. I'm like. So I just had a pretty runny bm. And it's something like that. Like. And I hadn't used the word BM since, like, the 80s. Like, but it just felt like the right time to do it.
Kim Holderness
And they're like, you're good, because they would normally charge you if you don't cancel within.
Ben Holderness
Like, they're like, we'll reschedule. It's totally kind of like, thank you so much. I just don't know what the next hour is gonna look like for me. And so, sure enough, they didn't charge us. They didn't charge us. Went back to the hotel room. And it's a good thing. Yeah, it was a good thing. It was like, you go to an island, you drink the new water or whatever, this happens. And so. But, like, I was just imagining.
Kim Holderness
Keep in mind, he does not have new underwear, so we really needed to protect.
Ben Holderness
And proper massage, though. Is white towel. No clothes.
Kim Holderness
You don't wear underwear?
Ben Holderness
No. They tell you to take it off.
Kim Holderness
You know, they say. They say, undress to the point of comfort. And I comfortable wearing underwear. I mean, I. I would love people to chime in here.
Ben Holderness
You also have less. You have less stuff. Stuff in your. Like, if I was wearing a women's underwear, I probably wouldn't need that because. But they had to get into the, like, you know, where are they touching you? No, nowhere. In the. In the. In the mommy, daddy area.
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
Let's never use that phrase again.
Ben Holderness
Sorry. What should I call it on a.
Kim Holderness
Your special purpose.
Ben Holderness
Yeah, nothing happened to my special purpose.
Kim Holderness
Yeah, there is.
Ben Holderness
There is, like, a fear of something happening to your special purpose also during.
Kim Holderness
Which is why you wear underwear.
Ben Holderness
Yeah, but, I mean, it's covered by a towel, but sometimes it's a loose towel anyway. That's what I'm saying.
Kim Holderness
If I'm a woman, I would want the men on my table to be wearing underwear.
Ben Holderness
She Told me specifically to take off all of my clothing, including my underwear. And it wasn't like, one of those places.
Kim Holderness
No, obviously.
Ben Holderness
And there was. Yeah, it was all very professional. But, I mean, again, why are we worried about any of this? I was worried I was gonna crap my pants. That was the base. Like, that's the main part of this story.
Kim Holderness
Yeah, she. She wanted nothing to do with your ass.
Ben Holderness
Like, oh, wow. She got a really good part of my. Like, that would immediately. Because that happens sometimes. Anyway. You did definitely fart. Well, you fart when you're getting massages.
Kim Holderness
I don't know that I do.
Ben Holderness
Why is everybody looking at me like this?
Kim Holderness
I don't. I don't know if, you know, you
Ben Holderness
can sneak out at sbd, but, like, it's silent but deadly. Like, there's all these, like. There's all of these, like, muscles that are getting released that aren't tightened up. Yeah.
Kim Holderness
It's the human body.
Ben Holderness
It's never like, I never make a big, loud parting noise, but, you know, you're there for 90 minutes anyway.
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
Ben Holderness
Would you like another vacation realization?
Kim Holderness
Sure.
Ben Holderness
You taught me this. If you go somewhere warm, think about the amount of underwear that you will need and then triple it.
Kim Holderness
Right. Because, A, you may. You may crap your pants.
Ben Holderness
Yep.
Kim Holderness
You may crop your pants. A. And then you're just, like, a little swampy. Right. So just bring a lot.
Ben Holderness
Yeah.
Kim Holderness
So that may. That may take up a big part of my carry on.
Ben Holderness
Yeah.
Kim Holderness
It's just underwear.
Ben Holderness
And your underwear is so, so tiny when you put it in there, like, you could pack literally a thousand and you could probably still fit it in there. So this one is something I realized. So we had. We traveled a lot last year because of this book that we put out, this book tour, and a couple, like, other things, like work trips, and we got so many miles status so that we got moved up to first class for one part of our trip, and then we were in regular. We were in coach for the other part of the trip. So this may be a hot take. People in first class in general, on average, are grumpier than people in coach.
Commercial Announcer
Yeah.
Kim Holderness
I think because we had seen. We experienced, like, we were, like, middle seats. And then we got the next. The very next experience.
Ben Holderness
We're like, everyone in coach was just thrilled to be there and, like, so excited, so embarrassed.
Kim Holderness
Like, like, if we get. And we. We do. We have this, like, airline status, and they. They had just lost our luggage.
Ben Holderness
Yeah.
Kim Holderness
So I was like, I. We're going to take it. I'm Going to take that upgrade because they just lost our luggage and he was in mealy underwear. But I don't. I think I just put my headphones on and, and head down, so I didn't. I don't know what you speak of. I just a lot of like, excuse me.
Ben Holderness
Excuse me. I have not gotten my vodka soda yet. Like, and I've been sitting here for four seconds, like. And the person is, like, trying to move around. Like, they'll. They'll ask. They'll. They'll take their laptops out, and they're like, sir, sorry, we haven't taken off yet. They're like, I know when the doors close, I'm going to do. You know, they just sort of feel like the rules don't, like, the general travel rules don't apply to them. A lot more reclining in first class than in, like, I feel like in coach a lot of times people are just generally polite and are like, I don't want to crunch the person.
Kim Holderness
So that's. That's the question. Is that so I used to like, oh, if it's my airline seat. And I think this is when airlines had more space. Yeah, I did used to recline, but now there's no space. So I'm like, you can't recline anymore. But I think this is a debate online because people are like, no, it's your seat. You paid for your seat. And if it. If it has the ability to recline, you should be allowed to do that. But at this point, you recline and like, yeah, the other seats right here,
Ben Holderness
if someone reclines on me, I wait for that to happen.
Kim Holderness
Penn was sending me because we were different parts of the plane, too. He was sending me the. The pictures of his. The person in front of him had reclined and like, his knees and the.
Ben Holderness
Oh, yeah.
Kim Holderness
Anyway, anyway, I. I think that's. That's up for debate. I don't know if I have a real. I'm. I'm pretty neutral on this.
Ben Holderness
Okay.
Kim Holderness
Like, I could go, it's not the hill I'm gonna die on. It's like, you should be allowed to recline your seat, but don't be about it.
Ben Holderness
Oh, the reclining thing. Yeah, yeah. I just, like, in my height, if we're in coach and someone reclines, I have to basically just, like, slip myself under. And it's. And it gets to the point where a couple of times, like, people have touched my feet, like, on the road front, they're like, oh, sorry, sir. I'm like, I'm sorry, I shouldn't even be there. But like, look at me.
Caller or Guest (Summer or Kristen)
Yeah.
Ben Holderness
And a lot of times they're like, you're fine. Like I'll have. I, I generally have communications with the people in front of me.
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
Ben Holderness
If they're reclining, I'm like, you're fine. Reclining. I need to turn into like I need my legs to. Basically I need to be playing footsie with you for most of the trip.
Kim Holderness
I would say we, we also had another fun experience, probably the, the most memorable part of our trip for me. More on this after these words.
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Kim Holderness
Alright.
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Kim Holderness
So we were at a dinner one night and they, they definitely googled like songs white people listen to in the 80s because we were all singing along at our table. It was great. We had so much fun. But it was, it was, it was so nostalgic because they were playing songs and Penn looked at me and he's like, how do you know all the words to these songs? It hit me that this, this is, was the like point of view. Okay? POV. It's 1984. Your dad is sick of you sleeping on a Saturday morning and it's 8:37 and he drops the needle on a Chuck Manjone record. That is your cue. Wake up and scrub some baseboards. Do you know Chuck Manjone?
Ben Holderness
So I, I was having a tough time with it until it got like the, the, there's the lead in. But go ahead and play it.
Kim Holderness
Here we go, here we go. Here we go. It's 8:37. It's time to wake up. Guys. It's a sheet. Stay. Pull all those sheets off. Guys.
Ben Holderness
Those baseboards aren't going to wash themselves.
Kim Holderness
Hold on. We're about ready to put some comet in the bathtub. Let it sit, let it sit. Ready?
Ben Holderness
She's still waiting for the hook. Here it comes.
Caller or Guest (Summer or Kristen)
Nope, nope.
Ben Holderness
How long is this leading?
Wayfair Announcer
Ready?
Kim Holderness
Okay guys, take those toothbrushes, get on the floor. Time to scrub. That grout's really gross. Not anymore. Ready? I mean, just a bob. And this is.
Ben Holderness
There's no words to this.
Kim Holderness
There's no words but like it's just clean your. This is. Clean your ass up. Ready? This is my childhood right here. Like every, every Saturday morning the needle would drop and it's like there was no maybe this is why I can't relax on vacation. And like.
Ben Holderness
Because you're thinking about.
Kim Holderness
Well no, it's. There is no, it's, it's 8:30. You have to get up.
Ben Holderness
Yeah.
Kim Holderness
This is the day we clean everything.
Ben Holderness
Right.
Kim Holderness
And there are, you know, and there's a skit. You're a busy family. Like they both. My parents both worked crazy full time jobs. So by Saturday the house needed some.
Ben Holderness
Yeah.
Kim Holderness
And there was no like house cleaners that came in every two weeks or anything like that. So we were. There was a schedule and there was grout to be cleaned. And I'm sorry, The grout in 1884 was not sealed the way it is today because it was gross. So yeah, that was my childhood.
Ben Holderness
Yours was, yours was cleaning on a Saturday morning and, and those songs take you back to that.
Kim Holderness
Right?
Ben Holderness
So I have. It's. It was so funny when you said that because I think I remember saying, okay, this song because another song came up. Similar era, but for me, just because of how British my teeth are. I spent most of my childhood in an orthodontist's or dentist's office being like restructured.
Kim Holderness
Oh wait, wait, wait, wait. How long did you have braces?
Ben Holderness
Six years. I had braces for six years.
Kim Holderness
I didn't know they could do that.
Ben Holderness
Yeah. Oh yeah. I was like, I was in all the records, I'm in all the medical journals. And also my orthodontist was like, I would, I would always be like an usher or somebody at church. And he went to our church and he would always check for my friggin rubber bands when I was walking. And I sometimes had him in. Somebody would always be like, and you have your rubber bands?
Kim Holderness
Well, that's why you were in orthodontia for six years. You don't wear your rubber bands.
Ben Holderness
Yes and no. I was a buck tooth yokel for a long time. Yeah. But so. But when I went to Dr. Deal's office, he played this. The same 12 songs came on the entire time I was there. And so, like, they played this song when we were at vacation, and I was like, oh, my God. I'm back in a dentist's office. Do you guys know the Alan Parsons Project?
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
Ben Holderness
No. Anyone? You guys remember this one? Yeah. And now a little bit of suction. And now spit. Okay, Pen. Pen is ready, but we're just gonna need to tighten up this back. And he's humming Dr. Deal just. Huh. Man. It's like, ah. That was my.
Kim Holderness
So I could smell. Like, when I hear Chuck Manjone, I smell like the comet cleaning powder. And you smell like teeth.
Ben Holderness
I literally just started salivating while I was listening to it. It's like the reaction to my mouth, like, protect yourself. Parsons Project.
Kim Holderness
So I would love to hear from our laughliners. What are the songs? Like, what is the. Like, your mom, your dad? My dad. My dad was the one who woke us up. Like, what. They woke you up on Saturday morning to clean? To, like, what was your playlist? And then what was your. Like, what are the songs that bring you back to those. Like, the dentist office. I mean, that was pretty great.
Ben Holderness
Or just any, like, anything. Any part of your childhood where a song was, like, intimately attached to something that. Yeah, usually it's traumatic cleaning or getting.
Kim Holderness
I mean, and. And it was. I mean, God bless my dad. Like, we didn't have Spotify back then, and we, you know, we weren't spending money on, like, trying to be current in music. So.
Ben Holderness
Yeah.
Kim Holderness
Okay. While we were out, we got some great voicemails and emails, and we love to listen to them on the Laugh Line. So shall we head to the laugh
Ben Holderness
part of the show where everyone will find
Kim Holderness
you?
Ben Holderness
Tell us what's on your mind.
Kim Holderness
We have talked a lot about dementia and Alzheimer's prevention, and there are. There are a lot of studies. I can't quote them now because I didn't look up. Look them up. But there is new evidence to suggest that those that struggle with their hearing. It's like your brain is working so hard to hear that it's sort of something happens. And you're more likely to be diagnosed with dementia if you have poor hearing. I do believe you need to get your ears checked.
Ben Holderness
Yes, we. We talked about that. And you did. The ladies who wants him to get his hearing checked? Like, in One of our last podcasts,
Kim Holderness
and of course we heard a lot
Ben Holderness
from a lot of you, but thank you because there were some people on my team for this whole thing because I did get my hearing checked, but I went to an ENT to get my hearing checked and they said I have one specific part of whatever the wavelength is that's a little muted. And they think it's always happens when you played in the band. But that, like, that probably isn't as much of an issue as the fact that like, my executive functioning is broken down and when there's a lot of other noise, it's hard for me to like, weed it out.
Kim Holderness
Which is totally fair. Yeah, that's totally fair. But you have an odd. You had somebody who said like, yeah, there's a frequency you can't hear. So to me I'm like, go get some hearing aids. I mean, I feel like they even have like iPhone apps right now that you could use as hearing aids and if you only even wear them, like half the time. Anyway, we got a lot of feedback, so this call is from Summer.
Caller or Guest (Summer or Kristen)
Hello, this is Summer. I'm from Columbus, Ohio, and I'm calling specifically for Penn today. Penny. I had to get my hearing tested and I got hearing aids fairly young. I was still in my 50s, early 50s, I think. When I got my hearing aids, I was very embarrassed and I thought everybody could see them. And it was a horrifying thing. But let me tell you, it's actually a secret weapon because when your hearing aids stream your phone, your text messages, then somebody texts you and it's read to you in your ear and nobody around you know that you can hear that.
Kim Holderness
I put in AirPods at the grocery store so people know I'm not listening to them.
Ben Holderness
But first of all, Summer, thank you. Thank you everyone for being like, I think all of these are coming from being concerned for my well being. And I love you guys for feeling that way about me. And it's. It warms my heart. Like we've gotten so many messages as we've gone on this Alzheimer's journey. Like, hey, you got this. You know, we all want you to be around a lot longer. I feel like I've gained like thousands of family members and it is very touching. Summer, if I had a hearing aid that played me all my text messages and played whatever I wanted to at any point in time, do you know how much less engaged I would be with the people around me with just with my particular. The problem is I've got ADHD too. I would Be. I would be gone. So I would need to get the. I would need to get the hearing aid from, like, the 1970s. It doesn't have any of these.
Kim Holderness
No Wi Fi.
Ben Holderness
Any of this. WI Fi. Having said that, I don't think I'd be embarrassed to have a hearing aid. Like, I. I've admitted some pretty embarrassing stuff on this show, so.
Kim Holderness
And one of our besties, Alex Lacamore, proudly has hearing. Like, he wears hearing.
Ben Holderness
Yeah. And his. Like, yeah. So I. I actually have talked to him about it, and I'm like, I'm down. I just. No doctor has told me that I need hearing aids yet. I've been to a doctor and, like, really? What. I've. And I'm glad we've got another one of these, because the. The issue for some people love you is that sometimes you have a partner who, when they communicate, they do it in motion while either walking away from you or not even being in the same room as you. And so sometimes I have to say, honey, I didn't hear that. And it may sound to you like I have a hearing problem, but maybe it's something else. So. Adam.
Caller or Listener (Adam)
Hi, Penn. This is Adam from Sugarrin Falls, Ohio. And I just wanted to say that I am 100% on your side. I was just listening to your podcast, and I had the exact same hearing test experience is. My wife was telling me that I couldn't hear her. I went into the audiologist and said that I had perfect hearing. And she just sometimes talk very quietly or wander away or wonder why I can't hear her when the dishwasher is running and the sink and the oven. So, no, it is not necessarily you. It easily could be Kim, and it's very hard for her to understand. Sometimes facing away from folks makes them harder to hear, Adam.
Ben Holderness
So remember how we start with thank you for caring.
Kim Holderness
Thank you.
Ben Holderness
It's not going to work.
Kim Holderness
Thank you, Adam, for calling and taking time out of your busy day.
Ben Holderness
I don't think that you're doing this right.
Kim Holderness
Thank you.
Ben Holderness
I don't think you're doing it right.
Kim Holderness
No, I. I hear. I do know that I have a habit of. I start a thought, a thought mid sentence, and I'm walking away. I know that. But your children also have acknowledged, like,
Ben Holderness
you mean the one who, when anytime I ask her a question, she's like, I already told you that.
Kim Holderness
That's a little annoying, but.
Caller or Listener (Adam)
Yeah.
Kim Holderness
No, you didn't. No, you didn't tell me that. Here's.
Ben Holderness
Here's. Here we go.
Kim Holderness
Here we go. What if.
Ben Holderness
Good.
Kim Holderness
What if we just for funsies went to see an audiologist with the, with these studies that say any sort of hearing loss?
Ben Holderness
You just said we. Are you wanting to go with you?
Kim Holderness
I want to hear the answer. I want not. I trust you implicitly on most things. I want to be there to hear the answer from the audiologist that says. And I want to have them know the studies that show.
Ben Holderness
Objection. Leading the witness. I feel like I should say you're gonna be leading the witness if you're listening to.
Kim Holderness
No, I just. But a professional audiologist who. That is her job or his job, I guess. Men.
Ben Holderness
Have you found. You found a female audiologist?
Kim Holderness
No, I'm just saying. But I just. I assume every professional medical person's a woman. That's my. So I. If, if she knows the studies and says, you know what, he's fine, then I'm fine.
Ben Holderness
This isn't going to be the thing that I just say, forget it.
Kim Holderness
Because you're doing so much well.
Ben Holderness
All you have to do is say, like, this is going to help your longevity and your brain health. And this isn't the first time I've heard about this study. Right, right. And I do. Like, I. I was told when I was in summer camp that I produce an inordinate amount of wax.
Kim Holderness
Why in summer camp did that come up?
Ben Holderness
Because they, they. I would get like swimmers ear, and they would get in there and like put the alcohol in it, and then they take the Q tips and go, ah. Because there's like a giant dark red.
Kim Holderness
Oh, okay.
Ben Holderness
But there's certain people who have a lot of wax. Now, I've also been told by some of those same people that I can't just like, irrigate my ears all the time because that wax is important and keeping you healthy. It's like your nature's mask. It's your ear. It's a mask for your ear. What?
Kim Holderness
I'm just allowing space.
Ben Holderness
All right, so we heard for you. We heard both sides to the argument. One of us validated both sides. One of us did not. And. And we're moving on now to you going with me to the doctor's office doing this.
Kim Holderness
You know how when you, like, your parents age and you have to go to the doctor's office to make sure that they were there now.
Ben Holderness
So you want me to go to your. All your doctors?
Kim Holderness
Sure. Okay, sure.
Ben Holderness
You may have stepped in one there, but you.
Kim Holderness
You were gonna love. I honestly would welcome you to join me at the gynecologist to see what women have to go through just for fun every year.
Ben Holderness
So at some point, someone showed me the pap smear device.
Commercial Announcer
Yeah.
Ben Holderness
And.
Kim Holderness
Come with me.
Ben Holderness
Freaking thing.
Kim Holderness
Come with me.
Ben Holderness
No, I will. Like, I will, totally. But the first time I saw that, I'm like, what part of the brain does that drill into? And you were like, no, that's for our vagina checkup. I'm like, no. No, it's not.
Kim Holderness
Yes, it is.
Ben Holderness
I always thought of paps. Newer is like. You know when they, like, how are your tonsils?
Kim Holderness
Well, first they get a shoehorn up there, and they crank it open like a tire jack, and then they go in. And the best thing part is, God bless these medical professionals, the nurse practitioners and the OB GYNs are doing this because they. They're trying to make this normal for you. And so it's. It's like. Anyway, so I saw your video.
Wayfair Announcer
Yeah.
Kim Holderness
And I saw your video, and how's your daughter? She's in school, and it's like, crank, crank, crank. So, yeah, I. Please come.
Ben Holderness
Okay. Yeah, I will. I may have stepped in one.
Kim Holderness
Yes, I think you did.
Ben Holderness
Thinking more of, like, going to one where, like, you don't want me to. To be there, though.
Kim Holderness
There's not. I mean, that's.
Ben Holderness
Yeah, we'll figure it out.
Kim Holderness
You can come to my gastroenterologist. Okay. But he doesn't check my butt there. That's like. That's the colonoscopy.
Ben Holderness
Well, I've gone to all those.
Kim Holderness
I know.
Ben Holderness
Yeah.
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
Wayfair Announcer
See?
Kim Holderness
I mean.
Ben Holderness
Yeah, we're good.
Kim Holderness
Yeah. More on this after these words.
Ben Holderness
You know that hoodie that you can't stop reaching for? The one that just works on the couch, on a plane, out on a trail? Well, I found mine, and I have to tell you about it because I genuinely did not see it coming.
Kim Holderness
It's called Paca, and it's made from alpaca fiber, which, if you've never felt it, is softer than cashmere and warmer than wool.
Ben Holderness
I know that sounds made up, but I'm wearing this thing right now, and I've been wearing it constantly since it showed up. I love it. I threw it on for the podcast. I've worn it to dinners, and I got two compliments from strangers on them.
Kim Holderness
What I love about it, beyond the feel, is that it actually holds. Holds up. No pilling, no stretching out.
Ben Holderness
It also thermoregulates, so you're not sweating through it or freezing. It just keeps you comfortable.
Kim Holderness
And it doesn't hold on to odor, which, if you're Traveling or hiking, you know exactly why that matters.
Ben Holderness
Every pack of hoodie is made, start to finish in Peru, and there's a hand woven Inca ID stitched right into it by local artisans.
Kim Holderness
As someone who thinks a lot about where my stuff comes from, that detail
Ben Holderness
got me over 250,000 people. People have already picked one up, and honestly, I get it now.
Kim Holderness
If you've been waiting for the sign to upgrade your hoodie situation, this is it.
Ben Holderness
So go to pakaapparel.com that is paka p a k a apparel dot com.
Dr. Susan Swick
I'm Dr. Susan Swick, a child psychiatrist and the host of Talk aboutable. This season, I'm talking with parents and experts about how we tackle the everyday challenge challenges of raising kids. We'll get real about those pebble in the shoe issues we all face as parents and how to build resilience and community through our own experiences. Talk About Able Season 2 from Lemonada Media in partnership with Montage Health and their Ohana center for child and family Mental health is out now.
Kim Holderness
Okay, I have to tell you, I was just looking on ebay, where I go for all kinds of things I love.
Ben Holderness
And there it was, that hologram trading card. One of the rarest. The last one I needed for my set.
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
Shiny like the designer handbag of my dreams. One of a kind.
Kim Holderness
Ebay had it. And now everyone's asking, ooh, where'd you
Guest or Narrator (Leon Neyfak)
get your windshield wipers?
Ben Holderness
Ebay has all the parts that fit my car. No more annoying, just beautiful.
Kim Holderness
Millions of finds, each with a story. EBay, things people love.
Ben Holderness
Can we go back to the last line real quick?
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
Ben Holderness
So we did a video about the Columbia House, like, Scandal, which is like another thing where if you remember Columbia house, like, you're one of ours. Yeah, the whole, like, 10, whatever, eight CDs for a penny thing. And. And Kristen took us down memory lane.
Caller or Guest (Summer or Kristen)
Hey, it's Kristen from Kalamazoo, Michigan. You were talking about the jewel cases and you're laughing podcast that I listened to, and it brought back a memory, kind of unlocked it. Do you remember that when you would get a new cd, instead of trying to peel all that sticky tape off of the one side that was sealing it together so that you couldn't seal the cd, you could open up the case from the hinge. You would pop the hinge on the top and the bottom of the one side where it was, like, hinged, you would pull it off from there, and then you could peel the whole top part off.
Ben Holderness
Really?
Caller or Guest (Summer or Kristen)
And then take a sticker off that Way. So you have to, like, peel it off in pieces. I just remember that being, like, super crazy hack to getting into your CD case without breaking the CD case for having to mess with all the stickers.
Ben Holderness
Oh, my gosh.
Kim Holderness
Right on cue. Anne Marie Tafkey, Midwest neighbor, has produced a cd. This the Judds. Oh, all time greatest hit question, where did you get a CD? Walmart still sells CDs.
Ben Holderness
Or is it. Are they, like, records now? People are buying CD players because they like the sound. It doesn't really work that way.
Kim Holderness
Okay, so demonstrate to us.
Ben Holderness
So she's saying, well, first you have
Kim Holderness
to take out the.
Ben Holderness
You got to take the plastic off either way. Right. So you get this part off. Great. I can't wait to listen. And then there's one corner that'll open with the top part is still stuck. So some people, like me, were just like, I'll figure this out later. And they just pull it out from the underside, which scratches the CD and angers your brother.
Kim Holderness
But she's saying, pull the hinge. She's.
Ben Holderness
She's. Oh, my God. So she's saying, you just take these two things off.
Kim Holderness
Oh, you just broke it.
Ben Holderness
I did, but it does work. Oh, I think that's what you do. You pull the hinges off, and it. I never knew about this. That is wild.
Kim Holderness
And then you can very easily. You pull the hinges.
Ben Holderness
No, I think you got to keep. Now it's broken.
Kim Holderness
Now it's broken.
Ben Holderness
You got to keep the tape on.
Kim Holderness
Oh, but in theory, yeah, you can then very easily pull the tape off. Wow. What a pro tip that I learned 20 years too late. Do we even have a way to play CDs anymore?
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
My truck still has a CD player.
Ben Holderness
What year is your. Is your truck 2018. They were still putting CDs in.
Kim Holderness
But I have a 2019 car.
Ben Holderness
I had a 2015 that had a CD player. I remember when I was, like, just getting out of college, I was like, I'm getting a CD changer. And it was underneath your. But it was all the way underneath your seat. It wasn't inside. So you had to, like, preload it. And then you'd be driving and hear,
Kim Holderness
like,
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
Internet saying that auto Automakers stopped making CD players standard in most new cars around 2016 to 2020.
Ben Holderness
Yeah.
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
With the feature becoming almost entirely extinct by 2025.
Ben Holderness
Yeah.
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
With the 2026 Subaru WRX noted as the final holdout.
Ben Holderness
Is that yours? No. Do you?
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
No, but I'm just saying. The lesbian Subaru. We want our CDs. Yes.
Kim Holderness
We got to play our Indigo Girls. Come on. I have. I still have all my Indigo Girl CDs, so I think you can still
Ben Holderness
play those on your phone.
Kim Holderness
I know, but it's better on the cd.
Ben Holderness
That's the part I don't know that I agree with. Like I said, CD is a digital copy of the song. It's exactly the same. Unless you go over a bump and then it skips to like the next day and you don't even like, you know.
Kim Holderness
Well, here's why I have all my Indigo Girl CDs. Because I went by myself. Like backpacking air quotes across France. But I was just like really broke and I was on the trains and I brought literally six CDs. The Disc man and. And the disc man. And I was like playing it. Oh, oh, gotta keep those.
Ben Holderness
Anyway, you know what I miss the most about the CDs? It was the last real opportunity to give someone physically a mixtape. There were several years before we got into the iPhones where you burn them on to. You'd have a computer, you'd burn a mixtape onto that.
Kim Holderness
And it was a little illegal to do that too. Right.
Ben Holderness
You'd have to have either Kaza or Napster. And yes, those were the two.
Kim Holderness
You were definitely infecting your computer with all sorts of viruses.
Ben Holderness
Oh yeah, I had to like we had to burn that thing when we were done with it. Yeah, because you were downloading from.
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
Ben Holderness
Shady, shady customers. But once it was on the cd.
Kim Holderness
Yeah, it was.
Ben Holderness
And now, now if you give someone a mixtape, it's not. It's just.
Kim Holderness
It's like a playlist that you're forwarding.
Ben Holderness
Yeah, I like it better when you can give it to them.
Kim Holderness
Okay, time for our top three takeaways. Kristen on the laugh line told us that the crunch sound we do each takeaway sounds like like a snort and that makes her laugh.
Ben Holderness
So I don't know if I've. Is that a post thing? Like what is.
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
So, because it was cookie themed, I found someone a crunch sound to like, you know.
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
Make it so it sounds like this.
Ben Holderness
Oh yeah, that's good.
Kim Holderness
So we have been search in search of a sponsor for this segment. Yeah, we feel like this is a very sponsorable segment.
Ben Holderness
In fact, every week we're just giving people free sponsorships to see if they're interested. Like a little.
Kim Holderness
Yeah, like a little, little, little bite sized snack. So we were trying the cookie. Big Cookie. Never came.
Ben Holderness
Nope.
Kim Holderness
Never came calling.
Ben Holderness
Neither did Big Chicken Tender.
Kim Holderness
Never. We did a three nuggets. Never the big chicken never came calling. So now what about top three takeaways sponsored by UberEats or DoorDash or any other service that brings you food?
Ben Holderness
Domino's Pizza.
Kim Holderness
Domino's Pizza.
Ben Holderness
Instacart.
Kim Holderness
Instacart.
Ben Holderness
My son.
Kim Holderness
My son who has a license, but he's not going to sponsor us anyway, so by Sponsored by any one of those things.
Ben Holderness
Yeah. Top three takeaways. You ready? So here's. Here's my top three takeaways from this episode. Vacation guilt is real. This was something that you talked about, right? I. I don't feel it. I. It totally makes sense now. Just like the way that you. You generally are when you're at vacations. Like, there are people who. Who don't feel like they deserve what it is that's going on, and it makes it difficult to enjoy. Yeah, but, like, we're going to work
Kim Holderness
on that, you know?
Dr. Susan Swick
What?
Kim Holderness
How we're going to work on that. We're going to take more vacation. I'm kidding. You know? Yeah. I was feeling unworthy. I think I was like, I should be working.
Ben Holderness
Yeah. Everyone. Everyone, not just me, wants to tell you this. You deserve a vacation.
Kim Holderness
Thank you.
Ben Holderness
Work very, very hard.
Kim Holderness
Well, I took one.
Ben Holderness
Number two, most people wear underwear during massages. And number three of my top three takeaways is that lesbians. Like CDs. According. This is a. I'm sorry, the single
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
lesbian, you know, don't make me. The percentage of no represent all lesbian.
Ben Holderness
True or false. Subaru is the last holdout for CDs. And, Sam, I'm not saying this. You taught me this. That Subaru.
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
Subaru realized that they were being purchased frequently by lesbians because lesbians like to go on adventures and camp.
Ben Holderness
Okay.
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
And do things.
Ben Holderness
Yeah.
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
And so great, they decided to also start marketing towards that audience.
Ben Holderness
Okay, so that's. And I didn't know that either, which is fantastic.
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
But anyone can buy a Subaru.
Kim Holderness
I love a Subaru. Actually, we wanted to get one for our daughter for her first car. We just couldn't find one that was, like, available and in the price range.
Ben Holderness
Right. So Subaru likes CDs. Lesbians like Subarus, therefore, lesbians like CDs.
Kim Holderness
I feel like that's like a maybe a bridge.
Ben Holderness
Is that a bridge too far? Why are you asking me?
Guest or Contributor (Sam or similar)
I don't represent all lesbians.
Kim Holderness
Okay, time for the credits. And I have to say, we did. We went to a book event with the one and only Jen Hamilton, which,
Ben Holderness
by the way, I mean, this has been a while since. But like she, she started a movement that became a number one New York Times bestseller and no one deserves it more than her. It was really cool. Kind of ducking in on Jason being part of it.
Kim Holderness
And she was very generous. And our books were available too at the event. So afterwards people like lined up and me signed books and that would. Very generous of her. There was, there were a few men there at the event.
Ben Holderness
Six.
Kim Holderness
Six men.
Ben Holderness
Yep.
Kim Holderness
And one of them, and he's like, yeah, I listen to all his stuff and sometimes I'm like, oh, do you? Whatever. He knew the laugh lines phone number. He goes, I know three phone numbers. It was like his wife's, his mom's and the laugh line podcast. And he. Then he's like, 323-364-3929.
Ben Holderness
He was just like that.
Kim Holderness
First of all, it was. I was so blown away you told me your name. I forgot it because my brain does not accept that information. You please call in, please, you know the phone number because we would love you to like have you record the credits or something. We need to give you a shout out because a dude specifically knowing the laugh lines number, just straight to the heart. 10 out of 10.
Ben Holderness
Yeah, I'm going to do it for this one last time. But then next episode you're going to call in because you know the number and you're going to read the credits for us.
Kim Holderness
Ready?
Ben Holderness
Here we go. Laugh Lines is written and produced by Kim Holderness, Penn Holderness and Ann Marie Tapke with original music by Pen Holderness. It is filmed, edited and live produced by Sam Allen and hosted by Acast. As always, we'd love to hear from you. Please write to us at podcastheholdernessfamily.com or
Kim Holderness
leave a voicemail at 323-364-3929 and we
Ben Holderness
will talk to you soon on laugh Lines.
Kim Holderness
Byee.
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Ben Holderness
Wait, we're going on tour?
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Ben Holderness
It's not a tour, not with that attitude.
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Ben Holderness
Delivery available for select devices purchased@boostmobile.com I'm
Dr. Susan Swick
Dr. Susan Swick, a child psychiatrist and the host of Talk About Able. This season I'm talking with parents and and experts about how we tackle the everyday challenges of raising kids. We'll get real about those pebble in the shoe issues we all face as parents and how to build resilience and community through our own experiences. Talk About Able Season 2 from Lemonada Media in partnership with Montage Health and their Ohana center for Child and Family Mental Health is out now.
Guest or Narrator (Leon Neyfak)
I'm Leon Neyfak, best known as the co creator of Slow Burn and Fiasco. I had of course heard of OnlyFans, but always with a distant and quiet skepticism. A silent judgment, you might say. Who is actually using this platform?
Kim Holderness
Um, I am.
Commercial Announcer
Hi, I'm OnlyFans creator and comedian Gracie Kanan. I work from home now. I'm on OnlyFans. And in case you guys don't know what OnlyFans is, ask your husband.
Guest or Narrator (Leon Neyfak)
My journalistic curiosity got the best of me when I found out that my own sister had started an OnlyFans account.
Commercial Announcer
I'm not his sister.
Guest or Narrator (Leon Neyfak)
Just to clarify, it turns out a lot of what I thought I knew about OnlyFans was wrong.
Ben Holderness
I felt like I wasted 3.5 years for something that wasn't real.
Commercial Announcer
What happens when connection comes with a price tag? Listen to OnlyFantasy wherever you get your podcasts or binge all episodes of Only Fantasy ad free right now only on Audible. Start your Audible subscription in the Audible app or on Apple Podcasts.
Date: May 26, 2026
In this lively episode of Laugh Lines, Kim and Penn Holderness reflect on their recent vacation—a 50th birthday escape for Kim—unplugging from work, battling unexpected luggage drama, and sharing brutally honest (and hilarious) vacation lessons. The couple explore themes of aging, self-acceptance, bodily quirks, and the realities of rest, with their trademark wit and candidness. Listener voicemails spur deeper discussions about hearing loss, family memories tied to music, and travel hacks. The episode is a breezy, feel-good ride through relatable aging adventures, replete with signature banter and playful sidebars.
(03:30–10:22)
The Vacation Setup:
Kim's 50th birthday trip gets off to a rocky start with a last-minute flight cancellation and lost luggage for three days.
Carry-On Only 'Cult':
Their ordeal prompts a (sometimes tongue-in-cheek) conversion to the "carry-on only" lifestyle.
Packing Lessons:
They realize how little they actually need and commit to carry-on life, with Kim investing in bigger personal items (“I did go on Dolly Parton's internet…” (09:20)).
(10:22–14:14)
(14:14–17:47)
The Perils of the Vacation Massage:
A candid (perhaps too candid) discussion about digestive issues derailing Penn’s massage.
Practical Underwear Advice:
Kim: “If you go somewhere warm, think about the amount of underwear that you will need and then triple it. Right. Because…you may crap your pants. And then you’re just, like, a little swampy.” (17:28–17:44)
(17:49–20:56)
(22:14–28:25)
(28:34–36:23)
Listener Empathy & Hearing Aids:
Voicemails from Summer and Adam spur a discussion about age, hearing loss, and the stigma (or practical benefits) of hearing aids.
The Spousal Communication Debate:
Adam (listener) supports Penn’s claim that sometimes the problem isn’t hearing loss but partners talking while walking away. Kim concedes: “I start a thought mid-sentence and I’m walking away. I know that.” (33:36)
Audiologist Challenge:
Kim proposes attending Penn’s next audiologist appointment to get closure, leading to jokes about accompanying each other to awkward health checkups. The couple banter about gynecology and colonoscopies, keeping things very real.
(40:29–45:18)
Listener CD Case Hack:
Kristen from Michigan calls in with a “CD jewel case” sticker removal hack. The crew demonstrates (and inadvertently breaks a CD case).
Subaru Stereotypes:
Sam jokes about the Subaru–lesbian–CD connection:
Mixtape Longing:
Lamenting the lost art of gifting physical mixtapes.
| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:30 | Vacation setup, flight, and luggage troubles | | 05:04 | Carry-on only “cult” discussion; mock travel vows | | 10:22 | “Two types of vacations” - unplugging vs. activity-filled | | 11:42 | Kim’s “vacation guilt” and reflection on difficulty resting | | 14:14 | Spa-and-digestive disaster: why Penn skipped his massage | | 17:28 | Underwear packing rules for travel | | 18:23 | Grumpiness in first class vs. coach debate | | 22:14 | 80s music nostalgia & family cleaning routines | | 28:34 | Listener advice: hearing loss, dementia, and partner communication| | 40:29 | CD nostalgia, last cars with CD players, lesbian Subaru stereotype| | 45:18 | Lamenting the mixtape | | 46:27 | Top Three Takeaways | | 49:49 | Listener’s mastery of the laugh line number |
(46:27–48:23)
“Vacation Realizations & Digestive Situations” is a quintessential Holderness episode: fast-paced, hilarious, sometimes cringingly honest, and always welcoming feedback from the “Laugh Liners.” It delivers lighthearted but thoughtful takes on the messiness and joys of aging, the humor found in bodily disasters, and the bonds of nostalgia and shared experience.
Summary by [Podcast Summarizer AI, 2024]
For anyone who has ever overpacked, under-rested, or silently judged a fellow passenger’s reclining seat—this episode is your home.