Transcript

A (0:00)

This is an I heart podcast. Guaranteed human. Welcome back. It's a brand new episode. This is Laugh With Me, a podcast. Jeremy Automobile. Jo. And we have. We have an interesting situation in this week, this episode, I guess this week, Eric Larson, he was the 2025 guest of the year, and he is in fact going to be in studio. He texted Kyle, now my brother, you know, and Kyle, you know, he runs grocery stores. He. He's got this idea for grocery stores. It's a little out there. We're gonna talk to him about it. I'm not quite sure how it's going to help the grocery industry, but Eric's always fun to have in here. So Eric is back in his first episode since winning guest of the Year. Johnny, I would just. It would be helpful if you didn't say a damn thing again. I know it's brand new year, it's 2026, but let's not change. Change a good thing. Okay, buddy? So maybe just don't. That's not a joke. I'd rather you not speak and just let Eric and I handle the goods. But. So, yeah, let's get right to it. Eric Larson on Laugh With Me. Today. Or today it's the Laugh With Me Fireball Studio is what we're calling it. No ad. Hashtag, no ad. Because they didn't pay me for it.

B (1:56)

You know. You know how, like, all the good band names are gone? Yeah, like, Fireball really did good getting in as early as they did.

A (2:04)

Yeah, they did like. And you know what? In Pitbull, capitalized. Capitalized.

B (2:10)

Really? Really, you know, put that in concrete.

A (2:12)

Yes, he did. All right, well, cheers. Cheers me. Well, if you couldn't tell already. Oh, man, that was good.

B (2:27)

That was really good.

A (2:27)

We got a guest in studio. He's been here before. He is a giant in the transportation industry. He was the fifth speaker at Central. He's a former fantasy football champion and just recently became the 2025 laugh with me podcast guest of the year. He is. He's Eric Larson.

B (2:53)

Thank you. Thank you.

A (2:55)

Thank you, Johnny. I honestly, I thought Johnny maybe wasn't going to give you any applause. I was like, damn, Johnny.

B (3:03)

He was. He was dick. He was really offended when I handed him my coat, my.

A (3:08)

Oh, yeah.

B (3:08)

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Laugh with Me
Host: Jeremy Odem
Guest: Eric Larson (2025 Guest of the Year)
Episode: "Eric Fixes The Grocery Stores"
Date: January 23, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of "Laugh with Me" features Jeremy Odem and returning guest Eric Larson, who dives into his latest (and most outlandish) idea for revolutionizing the grocery store experience. The conversation is a blend of comedic banter, personal anecdotes from the hosts' shared high school past, and a satirical take on customer service and efficiency in grocery retail. At its heart, the episode skewers the frustrations of shopping alongside slow-moving customers—both young and old—and escalates to a hilariously impractical but vividly imagined solution for Eric’s grievances.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Awards, Trophies, and Pawn Shops (03:00 – 05:00)

Eric shares that his "Guest of the Year" trophy is safely tucked away in a bank’s safe deposit box, sparking a tangent about what people do with major awards.
The conversation veers to football player Adrian Peterson “pawning trophies,” and segues into a debate about what it would take for someone to give up their own trophy.
Notable Quote:
- Eric: “I have no children that I'm aware of. How many children would I need to have before you think it would be acceptable for me to pawn the Guest with the year trophy?” (04:14)

2. Predictive Markets and the High School Football Pipeline (05:00 – 07:40)

Jeremy describes a running joke segment about absurd predictions, including an increasingly real "high school pipeline" for college football careers.
Discussion about Texas’s cultural influence on Nebraska football, NIL deals for high schoolers, and the opening of Buc-ee’s—“If we really want to be Texas big, we’re going to need to upgrade the facility.” (06:54)

3. High School Rebellion & Shadow Banning (07:51 – 13:21)

Eric recounts a rebellious episode from high school—skipping school for a football game, getting caught, and feeling “shadow banned” from attending further games for decades.
Banter about parenting differences and Jeremy’s teen son eschewing a day off to watch March Madness.
Notable Quote:
- Assistant Principal to Eric: “If you’re too sick to come into school, one would think that you are too sick to go to the football game.” (08:56)

4. Title Defense and Eric's Lack of Preparation (13:39 – 14:11)

Jeremy lightly goads Eric for showing up with little prepared, leading into the main event: Eric’s radical grocery store idea.

5. Eric’s Grocery Store Revolution: No “Olds” or Children (18:03 – 29:15)

Eric pitches a two-part “solution”:
- Disallow old people and children from shopping, as they “clog up” grocery stores.
- Proposed mechanism: Customers must navigate a 20-foot vestibule where a store employee attempts to punch you in the face. If you get punched, you can’t shop.
This propels a riff on eliminating slow and indecisive shoppers, employee selection ("just normal people" doing the punching), and the unintended consequences for society, business, and medical liability.
Notable Quote:
- Eric: “The problem was, is there too many olds and children in the store. And so my solution was just no olds and no children.” (18:20)
- Jeremy: “What if, like, you and I roll up to grab a six pack?”
  Eric: “One of us would have to say, hey, I’ll go first.” (20:14)
Allusion to the need for bouncers, a frozen peas stand for bruised shoppers, and extended analogies to Pokémon kids slowing down store traffic.

6. Debate: Efficiency vs. Civil Society (29:35 – 37:33)

Jeremy interrogates the ripple effect: Wouldn’t grocery prices skyrocket? Would anyone want to shop? How do you staff such a place?
Eric insists, “Not every store needs to do it. Just the one you shop at.”
Satirical breakdown of acceptable store ratios: “Let’s call it one store per 200,000 people.” (36:00)

7. Kyle’s (Stolen) Napoleon Bust & Board Game Lore (38:18 – 43:45)

A playful but real-life feud: Kyle (Jeremy’s brother, recurring show character) “stole” Eric's small Napoleon bust, central to Eric’s ritual in competitive board games.
Quickly morphs into stories about Risk, chess, the bust’s origins, and how Eric plans to recover it—by luring Kyle into his proposed grocery store’s punch-vestibule.
Notable Quote:
- Eric: “I’m going to find a reason to get Kyle in a 10 foot by 20 foot hallway, and let’s just say I’m going to be standing in the middle of said hallway and he’s gonna give it up.” (43:27)

8. Final Riffs: Tigers, Sports Analogies, and Emergency Pizza (44:42 – 48:00)

Jeremy and Eric briefly imagine the consequences of letting someone like Joe Exotic interpret Eric’s system (“No, you cannot put a tiger in the hallway!”).
They joke about the increased business for doctors treating punch injuries, signage prohibiting “punching back,” and the need for better training on delivery of face-punches.
Episode closes with joking about Chuck Knoblauch forgetting to throw from second to first as a sports analogy for this bizarre start to Eric’s "title defense," and a pivot to well-deserved pizza.

Notable Quotes by Timestamp

On award security:
- Eric: "So it's in the bank. It's a safety deposit box. As it'd be safe." (03:25)
On skipping school for football:
- Assistant Principal (via Eric): “If you're too sick to come into school, one would think that you are too sick to go to the football game.” (08:56)
On “revolutionizing” grocery stores:
- Eric: “There are too many olds and children in the store. So my solution was just no olds and no children.” (18:20)
- Jeremy: “So, you had somebody separate selling frozen peas out front?” Eric: “I don't buy peas, so I don't really care how long the line is to get those.” (24:34)
On making the grocery model personal:
- Jeremy: “You want a store that caters 100% to you and eliminates the people that you do not like.” Eric: “Yes.” (26:29-26:34)
On Kyle stealing Napoleon:
- Eric: “He took it, he put it in his pocket, and I didn't know it was in there because it didn't make a bulge. And he just waited till I left, and now he's just been holding over my head ever since.” (42:35)
Episode ender:
- Jeremy: “I think you’ve made a solid case to the start of your title defense as guest of the year, and that’s with this insane idea.” (48:00)

Memorable Moments & Running Gags

The concept of a store vestibule as a test of worth, more for Eric's convenience than practical public policy—repeatedly riffed as “wild,” “insane,” and “not exactly legal or safe.”
The “frozen peas” punch-icepack stand and Jeremy’s mysterious, loudly growling stomach, serving as comic asides.
The unresolved saga of the stolen Napoleon bust, symbolizing petty, ongoing rivalry among friends.
Rapid-fire callbacks to high school days, football, March Madness, and Jeremy’s parenting—grounding the episode’s absurdity in genuine rapport.

Important Timestamps

03:00: Eric's “Guest of the Year” trophy story
07:51: Eric’s high school “shadow ban” anecdote
13:39: Introduction to Eric's grocery store complaints
18:03 – 29:15: Main segment—Eric's “No Olds, No Children” grocery plan
38:18 – 43:45: Napoleon bust backstory and rivalry with Kyle
44:42: Satirical government policy talk
48:00: Episode wrap-up and sports analogy

Tone and Style

Conversational, irreverent, and packed with inside jokes and callbacks. Both Jeremy and Eric oscillate between dry, satirical delivery and self-deprecating humor, making the hour feel like a cross between a comedy brainstorm, nostalgia session, and a lampooning of customer service clichés.

Who Should Listen or Read This Summary?

Anyone who enjoys absurdist humor, quirky takes on everyday annoyances, and a dynamic between longtime friends will appreciate this episode. Shoppers with a sense of humor about the annoyances of public outings (and a high tolerance for satire about “punching old people and children”) will find plenty to laugh at—even if they dare not take Eric’s suggestions seriously.