Hope Darce (2:11)
So I wasn't a songwriter. I've tried to do the Math on this. And I probably need to, like, go back and, like, really dig in, like, to, like, okay, when was the first song? But, you know, my computer's changed, like, five times by now. I don't know where anything is. Yeah, there's a hard drive somewhere, you know, that would tell me the date. But I. I think it was around 2010 that I actually kind of tipped my toe in. It was by happenstance, I was on staff at a church. It was not a songwriting community at that time. And to be honest with you, back in 2009, 2010, that was not the world. In church life, like, the way we see it now, you would have individual people that were, like, songwriters for churches, but, like, the worship team as a collective. And churches, like, pursuing writing songs for their house. That really wasn't as big of a thing. You had big movements like vineyard and maranatha and hillsong and different things at the time, but just worldwide. That's not what was going on. So I wasn't in a culture that was, like, perpetuating, you should be a songwriter. But I ended up in this church service where there was this worship leader that, at the time, I didn't really understand what it was, but they really just would kind of basically soak in the presence of God and would just, like, sing out right, like, spontaneously. And I was so gobsmacked by that. Like, it was something about that was so vulnerable and so honest. And you felt like you had, you know, opened the door into someone's secret room with the Lord. And you were like, why would someone be so vulnerable in this public setting? And that. It wrecked me. And I found myself in the months after that, I was on staff as the worship leader at a church, and all of a sudden, like, there would be these things that were, like, bubbling up in my spirit when I'd be leading. And so, like, just in one service, like, sang out this one, little, you know, stanza. And I remember thinking, like, I probably shouldn't have done that. Like, I don't know what was that? Because it wasn't my culture at the time. And that kind of opened the door for me to suddenly be like, wait, what is this world of, like, maybe there are songs deep in this well, heart of mine. And so I started just dabbling, like, a little bit here and there. And that went on for, like, six years. Like, it wasn't like I became a songwriter. It was just like every now and then, a little thing would trickle out of me. I mean, probably in that six years time, I wrote 20 songs. Like, it wasn't like I was pursuing being a songwriter. So we had a major shift about three, four years later in our life. We felt like God was calling me to come off staff, be a stay at home mom, kind of figure out, like, what the next season of life was. It just felt like one of those seasons where God's like, I need you to be willing to, like, step into nothing before I show you something. And it was such a hard thing. Cause it was like I had just taken on the role. I was gonna step in and be like the head of the worship department. I just said yes. And then God was like, actually, I need you to say no. Like, this is a good thing, but it's not the God thing for this season. And it was such a hard decision. Cause it was like kind of at that point, like the biggest dream in my heart. And I was, oh, gosh, Lord, like, why would you want me to walk away? Like, I feel like this is what I'm called to do with my life. But if you've ever heard me share, like, my whole life journey has been a series of God saying, are you willing to give that up? Are you willing to walk away from that? Are you willing to trust me? Are you willing? And so this was a habit that I'd practiced with the Lord, that if the Lord said, step away, go into a hidden season, give something up, I knew better to just do what the Lord asked. And so I did. And as a result, my family ended up meeting this Aussie couple, you know, six months later in a basement for just like this gathering of people. We just kind of stumbled into it and, you know, it kind of wrecked our whole world because it was another atmosphere, like that worship leader that was like pouring out from such a vulnerable place. And I stepped into this basement with these two Aussies who were just no agenda. Just Henry Seeley sitting at the piano and Alex Seeley just sharing her heart and preaching and setting an atmosphere. You were like, the only way this is gonna work is if you are absolutely, like, emptied out. And so I think because that was my two experiences in this season of this decade, that was like, slowly preparing my heart for becoming a songwriter. I've not known how to do anything other than write songs from that place, because that's the place that hooked me with the Lord of going. Something happens in the room when people are singing out from a well of experience with the Lord, of trust, with the Lord, of relationship with the Lord. That's clearly not been cultivated in this moment. Like this isn't happening in real time. I'm experiencing something right now that's already going on in their life. And so that's why there's these things that just come out of them. And it shifts the atmosphere. And so I think because that's what I saw, and it actually had an impact on me. It made space for me to know the Lord in a more intimate way. It made space in a room when Henry would just sit at a piano and just begin to sing to the Lord. Like, literally minister to the Lord. It would minister to me, right? And so I think I've always tried to approach songwriting in any capacity from that mindset is if I am ministering to the Lord, it will minister to people. Wow.