Podcast Summary: Leading Organizations That Matter Episode 51: Deborah Grassman – Recovering From a Loss of Self Worth Release Date: January 21, 2025

Introduction

In Episode 51 of Leading Organizations That Matter, host Ray Spadoni engages in a profound conversation with Deborah Grassman, a seasoned psychiatric nurse practitioner and the founder of Opus Peace. The discussion delves into the intricate journey of recovering from a loss of self-worth, exploring themes of trauma, inner peace, and the unique challenges faced by veterans and individuals approaching the end of their lives. Grassman's extensive experience caring for over 10,000 dying veterans over three decades provides a rich foundation for her insights on healing and self-reconnection.

Deborah Grassman's Background

Deborah Grassman brings a wealth of experience to the conversation. As a psychiatric nurse practitioner, she dedicated 30 years to the Veterans Affairs (VA) hospice care, where she cared for more than 10,000 dying veterans. Her work has not only been confined to clinical settings but has also extended to authorship, contributing to textbooks, publishing numerous articles, and featuring in documentary films and a TED Talk. In her own words:

"Everything that I have learned in my life that has really mattered, I learned from the dying."
[02:38]

The Concept of Soul Injury

At the heart of Grassman's work is the concept of soul injury—a profound wound that disconnects individuals from their sense of self. This concept emerged from her observations of how trauma and the proximity to death can fundamentally alter a person's relationship with themselves. Soul injury goes beyond typical trauma or PTSD, representing an additional layer of separation from one's true identity.

"Soul injury is when you get separated from your own sense of self."
[05:57]

Overlapping of Trauma and End-of-Life

Grassman highlights the unique intersection between trauma experienced by veterans and the existential reflections that come with end-of-life care. In hospice settings, individuals confront their mortality, leading to significant shifts in perspective. This environment becomes fertile ground for healing, as patients face unfinished business and unresolved emotions.

"When you're dying, the conscious mind gets weaker and the unconscious mind gets stronger."
[02:14]

Barriers to Inner Peace

Grassman identifies three primary barriers that impede individuals from achieving inner peace:

1. Unmourned Loss and Hurt
2. Unforgiven Guilt and Shame
3. Fear of Helplessness and Loss of Control

These barriers often stem from societal pressures to appear resilient and stoic, particularly among veterans. Grassman emphasizes that overcoming these barriers is not about acquiring new strengths but about removing the obstacles that prevent self-connection.

"You already have everything you need in order to be whole. But there are barriers that interfere with connecting with that wholeness."
[11:05]

Healing Strategies

The path to healing, as outlined by Grassman, involves transitioning from numbing pain to mourning, from hiding guilt to forgiveness, and from controlling to accepting helplessness. This process enables individuals to release deep-seated emotions and reconnect with their authentic selves.

"It's about helping people heal the relationship they have with themselves."
[27:38]

Tools and Programs Offered by Opus Peace

Opus Peace, founded in 2013, provides a range of resources aimed at facilitating this healing process:

• Online Courses and Books: Including "Soul Injury: Healing the Relationship You Have with Yourself," which offers comprehensive tools and exercises for self-awareness and healing.
• National Anchor Your Heart Day: An annual event encouraging individuals worldwide to engage in collective stillness and self-reflection.

"We have a contact us button. So we would encourage your audience, anybody."
[49:35]

Grassman also mentions upcoming projects, such as a research initiative focused on individuals who have experienced sexual violence, aiming to expand the understanding and application of soul injury healing.

Cultural Shifts and Reducing Stigma

Over the years, Grassman has observed a significant cultural shift towards greater openness regarding mental health and emotional well-being. Programs and media representations have increasingly highlighted vulnerability and the importance of addressing emotional pain, moving away from the traditional stoic façade.

"We're becoming more real. We're opening up to... we don't have to be this idealized, perfect aspect of self."
[37:37]

Notable Quotes

• Deborah Grassman:

  "If anyone wants to learn how to achieve inner peace, ask a veteran who has successfully struggled to find it for the rest of their lives after they return from war."
  [00:38]

• Deborah Grassman on Personal Experience:

  "That's the unique gift that Opus Peace... is the lessons that we are bringing forward, is the lessons from dying that converges with lessons from trauma."
  [05:49]

• Grassman on Healing Relationships:

  "It's about releasing those barriers. So that's what we focus on."
  [29:34]

Conclusion

Deborah Grassman's work through Opus Peace offers a transformative approach to healing from soul injuries by addressing the deep-seated barriers that prevent individuals from reconnecting with their true selves. Her insights, grounded in decades of experience with veterans and hospice care, provide valuable strategies for anyone seeking inner peace and self-worth. The upcoming resources and events from Opus Peace promise to further empower individuals and organizations to embrace vulnerability and foster meaningful healing.

For more information on Deborah Grassman’s work and to participate in upcoming events, visit OpusPeaceAdvisors.com.

Notable Mentions:

• Upcoming Book: Soul Injury: Healing the Relationship You Have with Yourself – Release expected end of February or early March.
• National Anchor Your Heart Day: Scheduled for February 2nd, aligning with Groundhog Day symbolism.

Contact & Follow-Up: Listeners interested in exploring the tools and resources mentioned in this episode can visit Opus Peace’s website to access online courses, books, and sign up for free monthly webinars covering various aspects of soul injury and healing.