Podcast Summary: Leading Organizations That Matter
Episode 78: Licking Our Wounds vs. Learning From Our Mistakes
Release Date: August 12, 2025
Host: Rey Spadoni

In Episode 78 of "Leading Organizations That Matter," host Rey Spadoni delves into the critical distinction between "licking our wounds" and "learning from our mistakes." This episode emphasizes the importance of accountability, constructive reflection, and fostering a growth-oriented culture within organizations, particularly those that are mission-driven or nonprofit.

Introduction to the Topic

Rey Spadoni opens the discussion by highlighting the necessity of owning the consequences of our decisions to foster improvement and avoid repeated poor choices. He states:

"It's wise to own the consequences of our own decision making. If we don't, then we are going to make poor decisions and fail to improve."
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This sets the stage for exploring how organizations can transition from a culture of blame to one of learning and growth.

The Perils of "Wound Licking" in Organizations

Spadoni identifies a prevalent issue in some organizations where accountability is lacking. He describes environments where:

• Rules are not enforced.
• Strong performance is not adequately rewarded.
• Toxic behaviors are seldom addressed or punished.

He observes:

"In these places, I'm afraid that actions speak much more loudly than words."
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Such environments often suffer from diminished accountability, leading to stagnant or declining organizational performance.

Causes: Conflict Avoidance in Leadership

A significant contributor to the lack of accountability, according to Spadoni, is conflict-avoidant leadership. He explains:

"I believe that one of the key causes of such a phenomenon is that leaders are conflict avoidant."
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Furthermore, he cautions that some leaders may even benefit from the existing problems, making them resistant to change:

"There may be leaders who benefit from that problem, and so they're going to be loath to actually fix it."
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Introducing the "Review of the Day" Exercise

To counteract these negative dynamics, Spadoni recommends implementing a "review of the day" exercise. This structured evaluation involves answering three pivotal questions:

1. What went right?
2. What went wrong?
3. What would we do differently next time?

He suggests:

"Ideally, this would be an open discussion among all those involved in the process as well as those most impacted by the outcome."
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The goal is to create a safe space for honest reflection without devolving into blame or mere venting.

Preventing Blame: Steering Clear of the "Licking Our Wounds" Trap

Spadoni warns against the exercise turning into a session of blame or self-pity. He emphasizes the facilitator's role in maintaining focus:

"The facilitator of a process such as this has to guard against finger pointing and blaming and usually just describing the guardrails up front, bringing this to everyone's attention."
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He identifies the most dangerous scenario as:

"Self pity and the open airing of woe is us laments."
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In such cases, teams may dwell excessively on obstacles and frustrations, hindering progress and innovation.

Structured Questioning: A Pathway to Learning

To navigate away from unproductive venting, Spadoni proposes a sequence of targeted questions:

1. What are the top three things that happened which negatively impacted the project and which we did not anticipate?

   "What are the top three things that happened which negatively impacted the project and which we did not anticipate?"
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   This allows for initial venting but should be time-limited to prevent stagnation.

2. Could we have anticipated those?

3. How could we have reacted differently to them?

4. What can we do next time to prevent or plan for surprises?

He advises:

"This progression... transitions into a learning orientation quickly."
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By moving from identification of problems to proactive solutions, organizations can foster a culture of continuous improvement.

The Role of External Facilitators

Recognizing that internal biases may impede honest discussion, Spadoni suggests involving third-party facilitators:

"You may also want to consider bringing in a third party or an external resource to help facilitate such a process."
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An unbiased expert can:

• Encourage truthful dialogue.
• Navigate the delicate balance between acknowledgment and learning.
• Provide experienced guidance to keep discussions productive.

Cultivating a Growth-Oriented Organizational Culture

Spadoni underscores that thriving organizations seize opportunities to grow, learn, and enhance their operations. He notes:

"Better organizations will capitalize on opportunities to grow, learn, and improve, and the completion of a major organizational initiative is the perfect time and place to do so."
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By adopting structured reflection practices and emphasizing learning over blame, organizations can overcome challenges and achieve sustained success.

Conclusion

In closing, Rey Spadoni reiterates the importance of moving beyond self-pity to embrace learning from mistakes. He encourages leaders to implement the discussed strategies to foster resilient and impactful organizations.

"Active learning requires a willingness to rise above the challenges."
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Listeners are invited to leave positive reviews and share the podcast to support the mission of empowering organizations that matter through effective leadership.

Key Takeaways:

• Accountability is Crucial: Owning the outcomes of decisions fosters improvement and prevents recurring mistakes.

• Avoid Conflict Avoidance: Leaders must confront issues head-on to maintain a healthy organizational culture.

• Structured Reflection: Implementing exercises like the "review of the day" can facilitate constructive learning.

• Prevent Blame Culture: Facilitators should ensure discussions remain focused on growth rather than blame.

• Leverage External Expertise: Third-party facilitators can enhance the effectiveness of reflective exercises.

• Embrace a Growth Mindset: Cultivating an environment that prioritizes learning and adaptation leads to sustained organizational success.

By integrating these principles, leaders can transform challenges into opportunities, ensuring their organizations not only survive but thrive in their missions to make a meaningful impact.