Podcast Summary

Leading Organizations That Matter

Host: Rey Spadoni
Episode 79: How to Quit a Toxic Company
Release Date: August 19, 2025

Episode Overview

In this concise, insight-packed episode, Rey Spadoni explores the challenging topic of resigning from a toxic workplace with integrity and strategic care. Aimed at leaders and professionals in purpose-driven organizations, the discussion covers when and how to quit, the complexities of sharing (or withholding) feedback, and a practical, phased approach to the dreaded exit conversation. At once empathetic and strategic, Rey’s guidance is for anyone struggling with tough decisions in challenging work environments.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Recognizing When It’s Time to Leave

• Rey frames the situation for listeners who feel drained by “poison, chaos and personal toll” (00:40), acknowledging the emotional struggle behind the decision to leave.
• He notes self-reflection is key: “Unless the problem is you, and let’s face it, that could be the issue here, then you are likely to resign your position to a knowing audience” (00:47).

Four Reasons Toxicity Persists

Rey outlines why toxic dynamics are tolerated in organizations (01:10):

1. Conflict-avoidant leadership or culture
2. Perceived value of toxic ringleaders
3. Fear-based dynamics
4. Organizational paralysis and inability to initiate change
   • “In some situations it could be more than one of those and maybe it could be all of those.” (01:36)

The Exit Interview Minefield

• Rey emphasizes the complexity of exit interviews in toxic settings, highlighting their function for documentation and sometimes whistleblowing (02:00).
• He sets up the listener’s dilemma: “You’re going to wonder how honest can I be here?” (02:20)

Approaches to the Exit Conversation

Rey outlines three common strategies for handling the exit process (02:27):

1. Decline the Interview & Move On

   • “Might feel safest, but it won’t result in any improvement for the company. Bad behaviors are going to be rewarded.” (02:38)

2. Lay It All Out

   • “Might give you a good sense of empowerment, but it can turn politically tricky, fast… sometimes you just don’t know what you don’t know.” (02:48-03:12)

3. Honest but Strategic

   • Rey’s recommended “tightrope walk”: honest communication with careful boundaries. (03:15)
   • “It may not always be possible, but I’m going to suggest it’s worth trying to walk that tightrope.” (03:30)

Rey’s Three-Part Strategy for Resignation

Presented as a three-phase approach—you adapt the depth as the conversation unfolds.

1. Just Say It (03:44)

• Open with clarity: state you are resigning.
• “I have witnessed resignation conversations where people beat around the bush endlessly… make it simple and make it direct.” (03:50)
• Example:

  “Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice, but this is time sensitive. I wanted to communicate to you that I am resigning from the position of X.” (03:58)

2. Disarm (04:17)

• Acknowledge emotions—yours and theirs; offer brief, positive context.
• Scripted suggestion:

  “This saddens me greatly because I had such high hopes for this job. I’ve worked very hard here and I like and respect many of the people. I’m not going to go negative about this organization or anyone who works here, both today and from this point forward, though I suspect that I might be disparaged once this news is out.” (04:25)

• Rey’s insight:

  “Saying the part about [not going negative] is going to have a great positive impact… But then you follow up… I suspect that I might be disparaged… you’re sort of arming whoever’s hearing you to ignore any of the bad things that they might be hearing in the future.” (04:50)

3. Jab (05:26)

• Carefully and succinctly surface the underlying issue—without naming names or burning bridges.
• Sample phrasing:

  “There is a lot wrong in that office or team or company. The warning signs are everywhere and I suspect that you and others already know about them. Despite the best efforts of many, there are some fundamental challenges there. I fear this scenario is going to play out again and again and it will negatively impact the performance and mission of the company.” (05:50)

• Rey clarifies:

  “That’s your way of saying this is serious, you need to do something about this and they need to hear that.” (06:10)

Navigating Requests for Specifics

• If pressed for details, you have options:

  “Do you go for it with guns a blazing or do you hang back and decline any real substantive further conversation?” (06:25)

  • If you wish to stay guarded, Rey suggests:

    “I’m not comfortable going negative right now or saying more doesn’t feel safe to me. You can be honest. If you don’t want to go there, don’t go there. Tell them why.” (06:40)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the emotional weight of resigning:

  “You’re at your wit’s end. You’ve done all you can. You’ve looked in the mirror and made an honest self assessment.” (00:29)

• On feedback risk:

  “Sometimes you just don’t know what you don’t know… this does happen more than you think.” (03:01)

• On being strategic:

  “You have to find that sweet spot between directly saying and inferring. And only you can decide whether you’re comfortable navigating that narrow path.” (05:35)

• Empowering parting message:

  “I hope the three-part approach that I’ve described here can be adapted to your specifics. I hope it’s helpful. Anyways, good luck. This is a challenging situation.” (07:20)

Useful Timestamps

• 00:29 — Defining the toxic workplace scenario
• 01:10 — Four main reasons toxicity persists
• 02:20 — Exit interview dilemmas
• 03:44 — Step 1: Just Say It
• 04:17 — Step 2: Disarm
• 05:26 — Step 3: Jab
• 06:25 — Handling pressure for details
• 07:20 — Rey’s closing encouragement

Tone & Style

Rey’s approach is practical yet compassionate, balancing frankness with empathy. He recognizes the nuanced risks involved and tailors advice for those driven by mission and values, not just profit.

Final Takeaway

Quitting a toxic company is never easy, but doing so with clarity, dignity, and a touch of strategic feedback can set the stage for personal closure—and possibly, organizational reflection. Even tough exits can be handled in a way that aligns with your integrity and serves the greater mission.