Here’s what my coaching acronym for THINK means in the context of leadership:

T – Thoughtfulness

Cultivate a mindful and intentional approach to how you think and respond, recognizing the emotional undercurrents that influence decisions.

H – Harmony

Balance intellect with emotional awareness to make decisions that reflect your values and serve the greater good. Stay open to learning, being wrong, and fostering collaboration and mutual understanding.

I – Inquiry

Approach challenges and choices with curiosity. Ask meaningful questions to uncover deeper insights and expand your perspective.

N – Neutrality

Practice equanimity and resilience in the face of conflict or emotional charge. Resist black-and-white thinking and respond with balance rather than impulse or assumption.

K – Knowledge

Apply wisdom derived from diverse experiences and perspectives, understanding that true reasoning incorporates emotional intelligence as well as intellectual clarity. Know where your beliefs come from and be flexible and willing to evolve them with discernment.

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When you master the THINK principle, you unlock the clarity and intellectual flexibility required for ethical leadership.

You lead not by being right, but by being open-hearted and responsible, aware of how your thoughts shape your voice, guide your actions, and influence your ability to connect meaningfully with others.

The way you THINK is the way you LEAD.

The quality of your thinking determines the quality of your leadership. But “quality” doesn’t mean intelligence or expertise alone. Let’s be honest: there are plenty of highly educated, highly intelligent people who lead with arrogance, ego, and disregard because they lack emotional intelligence or choose not to care about it.

Here’s what I believe:

The true quality of a leader’s thinking is shaped by how open-minded they are… how resilient they are in the face of discomfort… and how flexible and adaptive they are when facing change.

In other words, it’s not just about critical thinking; it’s about vertical thinking—the capacity for growth, transformation, and layered insight. This kind of thinking helps us lead with humanity.

INQUIRY—Think About Your Thinking

If you haven’t already watched today’s video, go do that now.

* Based on the definition of quality thinking above, how would you rate the quality of your thinking on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the lowest)?

* Why did you give it that rating?

* What would bring your score down by one point?

* What would bring your score up by one point? What would you be thinking, doing, or feeling differently?

* What would motivate you to make that change? In other words, what do you want to feel because of that +1 shift?

* Think of a recent situation where you felt emotionally activated or reactive. What did you do—and what would a more thoughtful, values-aligned response have looked like?

* Where in your leadership (e.g., meetings, decision-making, boundary-setting, difficult conversations) do you most often react rather than respond?

* How might your queerness—your lived experience, sensitivity to difference, or relationship to power—help you lead with greater awareness, nuance, and intentionality in that area?

A Final Question from the Margins

After completing this exercise, review your responses. Then consider:

What part of your queerness do you wish to acknowledge or celebrate that shapes how you cultivate ethical clarity through emotional intelligence and reason?

In the next lesson, we’ll examine your unique form or expression for influential and impactful communication—my fourth leadership coaching principle, ‘Your VOICE.’

Want to explore these principles with more clarity, depth, and guidance? Learn more about working with me one-on-one and request a conversation here: https://www.darrenstehle.com/coaching

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit darrenstehle.substack.com

Are You Emotionally Intelligent and Reasonable Enough to Lead Ethically?