To LEAD is to live in alignment with your ethics—and to embody a kind of leadership that cultivates dignity, equity, and humanity.

This is where the previous five leadership principles come together—where your values, vision, vitality, and voice converge in the service of others to truly make a meaningful difference.

L – Liberation

Lead in ways that liberate yourself and others from systems of oppression, fear, or conformity. This is the heart of transformational leadership: expanding freedom through ethical courage.

E – Equity

Make fairness, justice, and inclusion central to your leadership. You lead not to dominate, but to uplift—ensuring every voice matters and every person belongs.

A – Accountability

Take responsibility for your actions and impact. Ethical leadership means acting with integrity, standing by your values, and being answerable to both your conscience and your community.

D – Direction

Provide clear, values-based guidance that inspires others. Through your example, you offer a path forward that is principled, purposeful, and human-hearted.

To LEAD is to take everything you’ve learned and lived through the previous five principles—your well-being, values, thinking, voice, and dream—and channel it into visible, influential action. This is your call to guide, to serve, and to transform.

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Do You Struggle with Criticism of Your Leadership?

Recently, Adam Grant wrote on his Substack, Granted,

“People who can’t handle criticism are unfit to lead. Weak leaders fear dissent as a threat to their power. They silence their critics to shield their egos. Strong leaders welcome dissent as an opportunity for growth. They silence their egos to learn from their critics.”

I don’t believe that Grant’s opinion is nuanced enough—it risks overlooking the reality of human experience and our reactions. No one is above the sting of criticism, so let’s consider what’s happening when others challenge who we are or our leadership.

To lead in a way to make a meaningful difference in the world is to live in full alignment with your ethics and to embody the kind of leadership that cultivates dignity, equity, and humanity.

This style of leadership I’m describing is the difference between being in your own power—and being an inspiration to others to follow your lead—versus powering over others with control and force.

If you’re a leader in any capacity who cares about making a positive difference in the world, you are going to come up against resistance and dissent.

Let’s consider how you might feel when challenged or criticized for something you said, wrote, or did.

Do you feel…

* Attacked or defensive

* Uncertain or unsure

* Unrecognized or unvalued

* Stupid or ashamed

There’s value in experiencing each of those feelings and reactions when your leadership is criticized because it means you’re human.

Your reaction means you care about what you are doing and the people you are supporting enough to doubt yourself.

Whatever your emotional response, criticism invites you to look inward to assess your beliefs, thought process, and actions—and to decide if you need to make refinements.

For me, forceful or negative criticism of my ideas is an emotional trigger based on childhood experiences. I may feel immediately defensive, and I’m better at catching myself to slow down and let my reaction pass so that I can respond thoughtfully.

Perhaps I wasn’t clear enough in what I communicated—or maybe I was even wrong. If wrong, I own my mistake and correct it. However, if I believe I’m right about what I stand for, I will do my best to further explain my position and reasoning.

Human-Hearted leaders and ethical change-makers create positive freedom for those they guide and support to experience more of what makes their lives meaningful and joyful.

Pay attention to the word “THEIR”—it refers to both you and those you lead. You can’t cultivate meaning or joy in others without creating or experiencing it first in yourself.

STEP FORWARD — Action-oriented movement and integrity.

I invite you to answer the following questions to discover where you stand in your leadership efficacy.

Think about a time when your leadership was called into question and ask yourself:

* How did you feel? Was it one of the four examples above, or something else?

* Is there an observable pattern? Meaning, is one of the four responses your most common reaction?

* How did you act in the moment? Do you push through or pull back? And how is that working for you?

* What was the meta-lesson? Meaning, is there an opportunity to become more skillful in dealing with criticism?

* How do you want to feel and act differently the next time your leadership is criticized or questioned?

* What do you need to know, or what skill do you need to feel and act in the way you described in the last question?

A Final Question from the Margins

After completing this exercise, review your responses. Then consider:

What part of your queerness do you wish to acknowledge or celebrate as central to how you lead—both yourself and others?

You are almost at the end of your journey!

In tomorrow’s final lesson, we will integrate everything you have learned so far and pull together all of the threads that support a human-hearted leadership and cultivate queer integrity.

Want to explore these principles with more clarity, depth, and guidance? Learn more about working with me one-on-one and request a conversation here: https://www.darrenstehle.com/coaching

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit darrenstehle.substack.com