FEEL is my leadership coaching principle for Freedom, Energy, Enthusiasm, and Love.

Each of these words speak to the nuance of well-being and how that affects your leadership.

F – Freedom

Create inner and outer environments that support emotional ease and personal sovereignty—so you’re not reacting to life but responding with intention.

E – Energy

Fuel your body and mind with practices that support vitality, stamina, and clear-headedness—the essentials for showing up fully each day.

E – Enthusiasm

Anchor into the emotional states that uplift and motivate you. Enthusiasm isn’t a bonus—it’s a leadership advantage rooted in emotional self-mastery.

L – Love

Lead from a place of care—for yourself, your mission, and others. Love is what keeps your vision human, your actions ethical, and your leadership resilient.

If you don’t FEEL well, you can’t LEAD well—and you won’t have the capacity to CARE enough to make a difference.

Well-being isn’t optional. It’s the ground everything else stands on.

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Cultivating Self-Mastery Through CARE

As a queer leader, your emotional well-being is foundational to your leadership.

Here’s what I believe:

You can’t care for others if you don’t first care about yourself. You can’t make a meaningful, influential, or transformative difference in the world if you are ignoring your physical and emotional health and well-being.

The FEEL principle emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and self-care.

And by using my CARE framework—Caring, Attention, Recognition, Enthusiasm—you can assess and enhance your emotional state to lead with integrity.

PRACTICE—What you’re being asked to do.

If you haven’t already watched today’s video, go do that now. Then, reflect on each aspect of the CARE framework below. Answer the questions honestly, considering your current experiences and feelings. Document your responses to track your growth throughout this program.

C – Caring

Tending to your physical, mental, and emotional health.

* How do you prioritize your physical health, nutrition, and rest?

* What practices do you have in place for your mental and emotional well-being?

* What small change can you implement today to enhance your self-care routine?

A – Attention

Being consciously aware of your thoughts, emotions, and energy levels.

* What thoughts or emotions frequently occupy your mind?

* How do these internal states influence your behaviour and interactions?

* What strategies can you employ to maintain focus and emotional balance?

R – Recognition

Acknowledging your own worth and seeing the humanity in others.

* How do you perceive your own value and contributions?

* In what ways do you recognize and appreciate the strengths of others?

* How does recognizing shared humanity impact your leadership approach?

E – Enthusiasm

Connecting your energy and emotions to your environment and actions.

* What activities or environments energize you?

* How do you maintain motivation during challenging times?

* What steps can you take to cultivate enthusiasm in your daily life?

A Final Question from the Margins

After completing this exercise, review your responses. Then consider:

What part of your queerness do you want to honour—as something that nourishes your well-being, shapes how you feel, and reminds you of your truth? And how does that shape how you lead?

What better way to practice the FEEL principle than to take rest once you’ve completed today’s lesson. Tomorrow, you will learn about the second principle of queer integrity, ‘What You KNOW.’

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit darrenstehle.substack.com

If Well-Being Isn't the Foundation of Your Leadership, You'll Never Make a Difference