Episode Summary: Alex Carter – Negotiate Like a Pro, Powerful Techniques to Unlock Career and Business Growth (E99)

Podcast: Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Host: Ilana Golan
Guest: Alex Carter, Wall Street Journal Bestselling Author, Columbia Law Professor, and Renowned Negotiation Expert
Release Date: April 24, 2025

I. Introduction

Ilana Golan kicks off the episode with her characteristic enthusiasm, emphasizing the podcast's mission to empower listeners to leap into bigger careers, leadership roles, and entrepreneurial ventures. She introduces Alex Carter, highlighting her credentials as a Wall Street Journal bestselling author, Columbia law professor, and a leading expert in negotiation. Ilana sets the stage for an in-depth conversation focused on negotiation as a pivotal skill for career and business growth.

II. Alex Carter’s Journey to Negotiation Expertise

A. Early Life and Personal Growth

• Shy Beginnings: Contrary to assumptions, Alex recounts that she was considerably shy during her early years. She wasn't inherently assertive but found her voice through participation in speech and debate during eighth grade.
  • "[00:36] Alex Carter: ...as a younger kid, I was quite shy... I found my feet and my confidence through speech and debate."

B. Professional Evolution

• From Negotiator to Educator: Initially recognized as a fearless negotiator for others, Alex struggled to negotiate for herself. Over time, she developed a rock-solid confidence in her worth, enabling her to articulate her value effectively.

  • "[00:49] Alex Carter: ...negotiation does not start with the numbers. It starts with using your words to teach people how to think about you and the value you bring..."

• Academic Pursuits: Inspired by her parents' professions—a lawyer and a teacher—Alex pursued a career in law, focusing on mediation and negotiation. Her personal experiences, including her parents' divorce, fueled her commitment to empowering individuals to advocate for themselves.

III. The Philosophy of Negotiation

A. Problem-Solving Over Selling

• Negotiation as Collaboration: Alex emphasizes viewing negotiation as a collaborative problem-solving process rather than a transactional sales pitch. This mindset shift fosters win-win outcomes.
  • "[00:36] Alex Carter: I see negotiation as problem solving. I don't sell. I problem solve."

B. Value Beyond Numbers

• Early Value Communication: Before delving into monetary aspects, effective negotiation involves articulating one’s value and building a narrative that underscores their contributions and potential.
  • "[00:49] Alex Carter: ...using your words to teach people how to think about you and the value you bring long before you get to the number."

IV. Practical Negotiation Strategies

A. Asking the Right Questions

• Open-Ended Inquiries: Instead of yes/no questions, Alex advocates for open-ended, diagnostic questions that elicit detailed responses and demonstrate leadership and collaboration.

  • "[30:24] Alex Carter: ...you should be asking, what, how? And my favorite two magic words. Tell me."

• Examples of Effective Questions:

  • "What are the criteria for promotion?"
  • "How can we work together to make the case for my promotion?"

B. The Mirror Technique

• Self-Preparation: Negotiation begins with self-assessment. Alex introduces the “mirror” concept, encouraging individuals to reflect on their needs, both tangible and intangible, and to recognize past successes to build confidence.
  • "[32:25] Alex Carter: ...negotiation starts at home with you, with that individual person and looking in the metaphorical mirror..."

C. Building Relationships and Leveraging Networks

• Referral Power: Success in negotiation often hinges on strong relationships and referrals. Alex shares her journey of transforming a single keynote engagement into a thriving speaking career through referrals and exceptional performance.
  • "[24:27] Alex Carter: ...I ended up over the next few years going on to make like 20 to 25 times what I did in that one engagement. Just from referrals, referrals, referrals, referrals."

V. Overcoming Challenges in Negotiation

A. Internal Doubts and Confidence Building

• From Hesitation to Assertion: Initially hesitant to negotiate for herself, Alex learned to view self-advocacy as a means to empower not only herself but others in her field.
  • "[15:17] Alex Carter: ...you are teaching them how to Value all of us. You are normalizing negotiation."

B. Pricing and Market Transparency

• Navigating Undervaluation: Transitioning from academia to the private sector posed challenges in pricing her services appropriately. Building transparency within her community helped address these issues.
  • "[46:35] Alex Carter: ...building relationships to be so important, because I was coming from academia... I realized that I was underselling myself."

C. Delegation and Focus on Core Strengths

• Scaling Through Delegation: Embracing the mantra "only do what only you can do" allowed Alex to delegate effectively, focusing on her unique strengths while empowering others.
  • "[48:12] Alex Carter: ...only do what only you can do... everything else is a growth opportunity for someone else."

VI. Expert Advice and Insights

A. Negotiating Promotions and Job Offers

• Strategic Conversation Leadership: Instead of asking for promotions outright, Alex advises framing the conversation around the company's needs and demonstrating how one's contributions align with organizational goals.

  • "[29:06] Alex Carter: ...ask questions, and I have three magic ways that you can formulate what I call an open or a diagnostic question."

• Collaborative Negotiation: Presenting negotiation as a collaborative effort to achieve mutual success reduces resistance and fosters positive outcomes.

  • "[37:27] Alex Carter: ...you are negotiating collaboratively, if you are asking those questions... Consider yourself lucky and move to the place that's meant for you."

B. Leveraging Non-Monetary Negotiation Elements

• Beyond Salary: Negotiation extends beyond monetary compensation to include elements like professional development opportunities, digital media rights, and references.
  • "[20:58] Alex Carter: ...I asked them a couple questions... I'd like to have several high-level managing director people be references for me for other future clients."

C. The Importance of Face-to-Face Negotiations

• Building Rapport: Alex emphasizes the effectiveness of in-person or virtual negotiations over emails to capture non-verbal cues and build stronger relationships.
  • "[40:50] Alex Carter: ...body language is data, the tone of the voice... negotiation, there is no small talk. It's all important. It's all building relationships."

VII. Key Takeaways and Final Thoughts

A. Embrace Your Value

• Self-Belief: Alex urges listeners to recognize that who they are is more than enough. Confidence in one’s worth is foundational to successful negotiation.
  • "[51:04] Alex Carter: I really wish I had known that who I am is more than enough."

B. Continuous Growth and Learning

• Lifelong Development: Whether in negotiations or broader career moves, maintaining a mindset of continuous growth and recognizing areas for improvement are essential.
  • "[14:11] Alex Carter: ...somebody who's clear on what they have left to learn... very confident person in the pool."

C. Serve Others Through Negotiation

• Empowerment Through Advocacy: By negotiating effectively for oneself, individuals can set a precedent that empowers others in their industry to seek better terms and value.
  • "[19:03] Alex Carter: ...when you ask for more, you help other entrepreneurs or other people who are job seekers..."

Notable Quotes

• Alex Carter on Negotiation:

  • "[00:36] 'I see negotiation as problem solving. I don't sell. I problem solve.'”
  • "[18:00] 'Negotiation starts at home with you, with that individual person and looking in the metaphorical mirror...'"
  • "[51:04] 'I really wish I had known that who I am is more than enough.'”

• Ilana Golan on Negotiation Approach:

  • "[29:06] 'Every great opportunity you ever going to get is going to happen from the hidden market...'"
  • "[37:27] 'You just dodged a bullet.'”

Conclusion

This episode of Leap Academy offers a comprehensive exploration of negotiation as a transformative tool for career and business advancement. Alex Carter provides actionable strategies rooted in self-awareness, relationship-building, and problem-solving. Her insights demystify the negotiation process, making it accessible and empowering for listeners aiming to enhance their professional trajectories.

** listeners:** If you're seeking to elevate your negotiation skills and unlock new opportunities in your career or business, this episode is a must-listen. Alex's techniques and mindset shifts offer a roadmap to confidently advocate for your worth and achieve mutually beneficial outcomes.